1
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,255
Howdy-ho, all you
South Park-eteers out there.
2
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,756
children: Howdy-ho!
3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,258
I'm rootin', tootin'
Trey Parker.
4
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:08,509
I'm pistol-slingin'
Matt Stone.
5
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,677
And this here's ol' Scratch.
6
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,012
Say hi, ol' fella.
7
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,139
children: Hi, Scratch!
8
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,266
You know, Matt and I
are right excited,
9
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:18,060
because this episode of
"South Park" is favorite episode.
10
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,229
That's right.
It was our Christmas special
11
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,565
entitled, "Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo."
12
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,108
In it, the little
Jewish kid Kyle
13
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,402
is visited by
a talking candy bar.
14
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,362
That's right,
South Park-eteers.
15
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,114
And the reason that this
episode is our favorite
16
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,907
is 'cause it was the first one
17
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,160
to introduce the school
counselor, Mr. Mackey.
18
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,786
He was based on an actual
counselor I had
19
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,955
in junior high school.
20
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,583
Why, I used to run around the
hallways, getting in trouble,
21
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,585
and he'd say, "Trey,
you need to calm down
22
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,879
and get back to your
schoolwork, 'mkay?"
23
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,297
And now I'm making a million
dollars off of him!
24
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,590
children: Hurray!
25
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,300
And like all of our episodes,
26
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,926
this episode has an important
moral lesson.
27
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,595
The moral of this episode is
28
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,597
is that everyone, regardless
of your religion,
29
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,891
should celebrate Christmas,
because it's the best holiday.
30
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,852
Yeah.
children: Hurray!
31
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,146
Oh, look, it's our Indian
companion friend,
32
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,315
Indian Companion.
Hello, Indian Companion.
33
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,484
Say hi, kids.
children: Hi!
34
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,069
Someone's coming.
35
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,405
Thank you.
36
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,535
Anyway, why don't you all
sit back, relax,
37
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,245
and have a rootin', tootin'
good time
38
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,082
with "Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Chocolate Bar."
39
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,336
[gunshots]
children: Hurray!
40
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,969
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
41
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,097
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
42
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,140
♪ We wish you a
Merry Christmas ♪
43
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,478
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
44
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,647
Lights, please.
45
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,232
And there were,
in the same country,
46
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,900
shepherds abiding
in the field,
47
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,652
keeping watch over
their flock by night.
48
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:50,986
And lo the angel of the lord
came upon them,
49
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,696
and they were so afraid.
50
00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:54,573
And the angel said
unto them, "Fear not,
51
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,367
"for behold, I bring you
tidings of great joy.
52
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,911
"For born unto you
this day in the City of David,
53
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,746
"is the savior,
Jesus Christ, our lord.
54
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,123
"Glory to god in the highest
and on earth peace,
55
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,874
and good will towards man."
56
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,918
And now, South Park
Elementary presents,
57
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,921
the birth of Jesus.
58
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,507
[grunting]
59
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,676
Come on Mary, push!
60
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,969
I can see its head!
61
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,389
It's a boy.
62
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,640
Oh.
63
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:20,975
[mumbling]
64
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,768
Wait a minute,
wait, wait, wait!
65
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,270
Kyle, what the hell
was that?
66
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,521
You need to hold
the baby by the legs,
67
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,939
not by the head.
68
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,357
What kind of sick
weirdo are you?
69
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,942
Sorry.
- And Wendy,
70
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,777
I'm still not believing
the labor pains.
71
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,196
Okay.
- Mr. Garrison,
72
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,866
what the hell do you
think you're doing?
73
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,368
Well, I'm trying to direct
the school Christmas play.
74
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,371
But your son was holding
baby Jesus' fetus by the head.
75
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,665
How dare you
include the nativity
76
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,292
in a school play!
77
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:49,170
Don't you realize
my son is Jewish?
78
00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,880
So?
79
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:54,300
So what makes you think
he should play Joseph?
80
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,218
Because it's Christmas.
81
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,013
Our family doesn't
celebrate Christmas.
82
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:01,098
[all gasp]
83
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,100
You're not gonna lay that
Chanukah crap on me, are you?
84
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,019
What, what, what?
85
00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,979
You're not going to get away
with this Mr. Garrison!
86
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,023
Good, Kyle's mom is here
to ruin Christmas!
87
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,608
Shut up fat boy!
88
00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,526
I'm not fat,
I'm festively plump.
89
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,570
Why are you Jewish
on Christmas, Kyle?
90
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,531
Kyle is there anything you
can do for the Christmas play
91
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,533
that isn't related
to Jesus?
92
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,536
How about
the dreidel song, bubby?
93
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,288
I can sing
"The Mr. Hankey Song."
94
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457
The Mr. Hankey Song,
how does that go?
95
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,626
♪ Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo ♪
96
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,294
♪ He loves me
and I love you ♪
97
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,754
Christmas Poo?
98
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,214
What the hell is
Christmas Poo?
99
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,673
Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo.
100
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,925
Haven't you guys
ever heard of him?
101
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,760
Kyle, that is enough!
102
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,303
See, that's what you get
when you raise your child
103
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,013
to be a pagan!
- Now, that does it!
104
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,474
I am going straight
to the mayor about you!
105
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,643
Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry.
106
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,019
Was it the pagan remark?
107
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479
You guys, look.
108
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:49,980
It's snowing.
109
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,568
[all cheering]
110
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,195
Whoa!
Christmas snow.
111
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,198
Try to catch snowflakes
on your tongue.
112
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,491
It's fun.
113
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,291
[mumbles]
- Oh, sick, dude.
114
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,960
Hey!
What the hell are you doing?
115
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,211
Jewish people
can't eat Christmas snow.
116
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,837
We can too.
117
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,256
No, I think it's against
the law, dude.
118
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,258
Officer Barbrady?
- What?
119
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:20,427
Is it illegal for Jews
to eat Christmas snow?
120
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,596
Yes.
- Damn it!
121
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,640
Hey, come on, guys.
122
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,517
We have to go tell Santa Claus
what we want for Christmas.
123
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,143
Yeah, we'll see you later,
Kyle.
124
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,770
Guess there's no reason
for you to come
125
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,438
since you don't get
Christmas presents.
126
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,107
No, but I get Chanukah
presents for eight days.
127
00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,525
Too bad it's
usually a dreidel
128
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,026
or something
lame like that.
129
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,945
We'll catch up
with you later Kyle.
130
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,655
Wait, I may
not have Santa,
131
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,740
but I do have Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo.
132
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,784
What is it this about
Christmas Poo, dude?
133
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,619
Mr. Hankey, he comes out of
the toilet every year,
134
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,246
and gives presents
to everybody
135
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,539
who has a lot of fiber
in their diet.
136
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,040
Kyle come on, seriously,
137
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,792
you are really
reaching right now.
138
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,210
Well, you're gonna be
sorry when you see me
139
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,378
riding around
on Santa's sleigh
140
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,963
with Mr. Hankey,
fat ass!
141
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,172
You're not gonna ride
on Santa's sleigh
142
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,674
because you're a Jew, Kyle.
143
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,676
See ya' dude.
144
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:12,187
♪ It's hard to be a Jew
on Christmas ♪
145
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:17,318
♪ My friends won't let me
join in any games ♪
146
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,945
♪ And I can't sing
Christmas songs ♪
147
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,781
♪ Or decorate
a Christmas tree ♪
148
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,617
♪ Or leave water
out for Rudolph ♪
149
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:28,245
♪ 'Cause there's
something wrong with me ♪
150
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:34,960
♪ My people don't believe
in Jesus Christ's divinity ♪
151
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,087
♪ I'm a Jew ♪
152
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,049
♪ A lonely Jew ♪
153
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:46,013
♪ On Christmas ♪
154
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:50,934
♪ Chanukah is nice
but why is it ♪
155
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:56,398
♪ That Santa passes over
my house every year ♪
156
00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:01,779
♪ And instead of eating ham
I have to eat kosher latkes ♪
157
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,823
♪ Instead of "Silent Night"
I'm singing ♪
158
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,326
[speaking Hebrew]
159
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,370
♪ And what the [bleep]
is up ♪
160
00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,205
♪ With lighting
all these [bleep] candles ♪
161
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,791
♪ Tell me please ♪
162
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,918
♪ I'm a Jew ♪
163
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,046
♪ A lonely Jew ♪
164
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:24,218
♪ I'd be merry
but I'm Hebrew ♪
165
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,471
♪ On Christmas ♪
166
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,482
[all yelling]
167
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:42,111
Okay everybody,
settle down.
168
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:45,447
Mayor, we are deeply offended
by the nativity scene
169
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,491
in front of
the capital office.
170
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,785
Church and state are separate!
171
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,036
No!
- No!
172
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,830
What's going on
you guys?
173
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,456
The whole town's pissed off
at each other.
174
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,125
It's really sweet.
- That isn't all, mayor,
175
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,919
the school play is
doing a nativity scene.
176
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,256
It isn't being sensitive to
the Jewish community.
177
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,007
You are the Jewish
community.
178
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,592
Yeah!
- Yeah!
179
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,094
Oh boy, super bitch
is at it again.
180
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,054
Don't call my mom
a bitch, Cartman!
181
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,223
Mayor, the nativity
is what Christmas is all about.
182
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,599
If you remove Christ,
183
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,017
you must remove
Santa and Frosty
184
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,561
and all that garbage too!
185
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,312
Hallelujah!
186
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:18,772
And we must put a stop to
187
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,691
the cutting down
of Christmas trees!
188
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,359
Gimme a break!
189
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,569
And I'm sick
and tired of those
190
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,320
little flaps on coffee lids!
191
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,905
If you don't want to
spill your coffee,
192
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,491
then you shouldn't
be drivin' with it!
193
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,118
[silence]
194
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,078
Yeah! Yeah!
- Okay people,
195
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,914
clearly we need to
reach a compromise.
196
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,751
Perhaps we need
a new icon for Christmas.
197
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,421
Brilliant idea, mayor.
198
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,799
Hey, how about Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo?
199
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,301
Excuse me?
200
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,052
Oh boy,
here we go again.
201
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804
Mr. Hankey: He comes out
of the toilet every year
202
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,347
and gives presents
to everybody
203
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,640
who has a lot of fiber
in their diet.
204
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,434
Kyle, shh!
205
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,060
It's true, he doesn't care
what faith you are.
206
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,687
♪ Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas Poo ♪
207
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,272
♪ He loves me
and I love you ♪
208
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,983
♪ Therefore... ♪
- Don't mind him.
209
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,735
He's a very disturbed
little boy.
210
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,278
[mumbling]
211
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,322
Okay Kyle,
we're leaving right now.
212
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,908
Wait!
- Anyway, I'll put together
213
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,202
a crack team
of my best workers
214
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,828
to make sure this will be
215
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,705
the most non-offensive
Christmas ever,
216
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,582
to any religious or
minority group of any kind.
217
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,418
Are there any other
suggestions?
218
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:22,961
Yes, Mr. Garrison.
219
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:27,508
Could we get rid of
all the Mexicans?
220
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,051
No, Mr. Garrison,
221
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,720
we cannot get rid of
all the Mexicans.
222
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,846
Rats!
223
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,022
It is sick and disgusting.
224
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,357
And we simply will
not have it.
225
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,608
Your father's right Kyle.
226
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,235
Sheila, let me handle this.
227
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,278
Having imaginary friends
is fine Kyle,
228
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,947
but this simply will not do.
229
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,990
Listen to
your father, Kyle.
230
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,034
Now I want you
to repeat after me--
231
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,620
there is no such thing
as Mr. Hankey.
232
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,914
But Dad, he always...
- Say it!
233
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,499
There's no such thing
as Mr. Hankey.
234
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,042
Again.
235
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,502
There is no such thing
as Mr. Hankey.
236
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,337
This is for your
own good, bubby.
237
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,047
Now you go brush your teeth
and march into bed.
238
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,508
You won't be opening your
Chanukah present tonight.
239
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,426
Probably just another
stupid dreidel anyway.
240
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,761
What did you say?
241
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,845
I said Ike's on fire!
242
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,013
Uh-oh.
243
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,473
Oh, my god!
244
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,435
It isn't fair.
245
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,812
I don't wanna be an outcast!
246
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:22,938
[voice echoing]
247
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,148
I'm not hearing that.
248
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,026
Hello?
249
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,320
Mr. Hankey?
250
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,739
Howdy-ho!
251
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,784
Howdy-ho Kyle,
252
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,661
gosh you're looking swell!
253
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,954
Go away Mr. Hankey.
254
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,539
You know
something pal?
255
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,292
You smell an awful lot
like flowers.
256
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,335
I said go away,
my dad says you're not real.
257
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,753
Not real?
258
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,505
Well shucks,
if I weren't real,
259
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,717
could I sing this
jolly Christmas song?
260
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,052
♪ Santa Claus
is on his way ♪
261
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679
♪ A load of goodies
on his sleigh ♪
262
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,598
♪ Dropping off
on Christmas day ♪
263
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,266
♪ And I'll say
howdy-ho ♪
264
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,310
Mr. Hankey shh,
I'll get in trouble!
265
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,811
♪ Folks will gather
'round the fire ♪
266
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,646
♪ Sing a song
without a choir ♪
267
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,315
♪ Pretty soon
they'll all return ♪
268
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,400
♪ And I'll say
howdy-ho ♪
269
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,611
Kyle, what are you
doing in there?
270
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,529
Nothing.
- Open the door!
271
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,489
♪ Hope that Santa comes
real soon ♪
272
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,325
Mr. Hankey,
cut it out!
273
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,701
Huh?
274
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,830
Kyle!
275
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,081
Say something, Mr. Hankey!
276
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,045
Now you get to sleep
277
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,379
and think about how
your poor mother
278
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,048
has to clean
that bathroom up!
279
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,008
What, what, what?
Me?
280
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,763
Howdy-ho!
281
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,556
Mr. Hankey, where
the hell did you go?
282
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,059
You should be wearing
socks to sleep Kyle.
283
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,852
You're gonna catch a cold.
284
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,604
Nobody believes in you,
not even my friends.
285
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,898
Gee, that's too bad.
286
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,858
Hey, how about you come to
school with me tomorrow?
287
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,860
So I can at least prove
I'm not crazy to my friends.
288
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,821
Say, that sounds
like a swell idea.
289
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:58,158
We can show everyone
the true spirit of Christmas.
290
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,035
Yeah, we'll show them.
291
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,413
Okay people, we got
to turn this place around.
292
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,248
Take down anything
that is offensive
293
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,751
to any specific group.
294
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,337
Is mistletoe offensive?
295
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:14,508
Is anyone offended
by mistletoe?
296
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,885
Lose the mistletoe!
297
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,554
You guys,
I'm getting that John Elway
298
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,348
football helmet for Christmas.
299
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,308
How do you know?
300
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,143
'Cause I looked in my
parent's closet last night.
301
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,104
Yeah well, I sneaked
around my mom's closet too
302
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,980
and saw what I'm getting.
303
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,358
The Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.
304
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,026
What's that?
- I don't know
305
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,778
but it sounds pretty sweet.
306
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196
Hello everybody.
307
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,698
What's in the box dude?
308
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616
It's a surprise.
- Let me see.
309
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,118
Okay, but don't scare him.
310
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,957
Dude, sick!
311
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,419
Is this some kind
of Jewish tradition?
312
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,754
[mumbling]
313
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,132
Wait you guys, he's alive!
314
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,883
Kyle, I think
you better get home
315
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,093
and get some sleep.
316
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,595
Come on, dance!
Dance!
317
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,930
Dance damn you!
318
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807
This is very simple-
319
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,892
I'm going to say words
and the computer will measure
320
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,519
how offended
you are by them.
321
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646
In this way we can
find out which words
322
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,898
are least offensive for
use in the holiday season.
323
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,608
Are we ready?
324
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,360
Here we go.
325
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,529
Christ.
[beeping]
326
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,697
Hmm, okay.
327
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,781
Chair.
328
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,033
[silence]
329
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:25,036
Camel.
[minor beeps]
330
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,705
Sand.
331
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,915
[silence]
332
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,584
Stupid wop-dago!
333
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,086
[loud beeping]
334
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,713
Bench.
335
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,051
Do you have to take
the Christmas tree too?
336
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,970
Mayor's orders.
337
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,472
Okay children,
I'm really having
338
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,766
a hard time with
our Christmas play.
339
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,642
The new law states
we can't sing any songs
340
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,479
having to do with Jesus
or Santa Claus.
341
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,564
Thanks to Kyle's mother.
- Shut up Cartman!
342
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,232
So does anybody
know any non-Santa
343
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,319
or non-Jesus Christmas songs?
344
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,904
Yes, Eric.
- How about we sing
345
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,782
"Kyle's mom is a
stupid bitch," in D-minor?
346
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,577
I told you not to call
my mom a bitch, Cartman!
347
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,412
♪ Well, Kyle's mom's
a bitch ♪
348
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,206
♪ She's a big, fat bitch ♪
349
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,166
♪ She's the biggest bitch
in the whole wide world ♪
350
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,043
♪ She's a stupid bitch
if there ever was a bitch ♪
351
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,044
♪ She's a bitch to all
the boys and girls ♪
352
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,796
Shut up Cartman!
353
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,090
Howdy-ho!
- Mr. Hankey?
354
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,926
♪ Monday she's a bitch,
on Tuesday's she's a bitch ♪
355
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,636
♪ And Wednesday through
Saturday she's a bitch ♪
356
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,221
♪ Then on Sunday,
just to be different ♪
357
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,765
♪ She's a super,
two-ton megabitch ♪
358
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642
Golly,
that isn't very nice.
359
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,394
I'd sure like to
teach him a lesson.
360
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,188
♪ Have you ever met
my friend Kyle's mom ♪
361
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,481
♪ She's the biggest bitch
in the whole wide world ♪
362
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,316
♪ She's a mean old bitch ♪
363
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,026
♪ If you ask anything
of her she's a bitch ♪
364
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,194
♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch ♪
365
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,487
♪ She's a stupid bitch ♪
366
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,072
♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch ♪
367
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,825
♪ And she's
just a dirty bitch ♪
368
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:48,203
♪ Kyle's mom, is a ♪
369
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:52,791
♪ Bitch ♪
370
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,043
Mr. Hankey, no!
371
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,795
What the?
372
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:57,879
Gross, Kyle!
373
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,297
Oh my lord Kyle,
374
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,299
did you just throw
doo-doo at Eric?
375
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,717
Uh...
376
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,886
You sick bastard!
377
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,388
[laughter]
378
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,057
Now Kyle,
as your school counselor,
379
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,477
I want to try to help you
confront your problem.
380
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104
I don't have
a problem.
381
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,605
Well it's my
understanding that you,
382
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,234
you have an acute case of
fecalphilia.
383
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,819
What's that?
384
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,487
Well, a fecalphiliac
is somebody
385
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,698
who's obsessed with
mookie-stinks, Kyle.
386
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,658
Mookie-stinks?
387
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,119
I also understand you're
Jewish; is that right Kyle?
388
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079
Not on purpose.
389
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,414
So this must be a pretty hard
time of year for you,
390
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,748
being Christmas and all.
391
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,458
Do the other kids
make fun of you?
392
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,877
Sometimes.
393
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,670
That must make you mad.
- Sure.
394
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:41,923
Mad enough to kill, Kyle?
395
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,050
No dude!
- Well, that's good.
396
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,928
You see Kyle, sometimes we feel
like an outsider,
397
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,307
we create friends, okay,
in our minds, okay?
398
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:51,850
But Mr. Hankey seems so real.
399
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,310
Well, of course he does,
400
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,728
in your screwed up
little head,
401
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,230
he's the only friend
you have.
402
00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:01,359
Kyle!
Howdy-ho!
403
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,154
Right now you're nuttier
than Chinese chicken salad.
404
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,032
I mean you're one
screwed up little kid.
405
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:11,369
Do you understand?
406
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,079
So try and
stay positive,
407
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,664
stay away from drugs
and alcohol.
408
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,416
And in the meantime,
409
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,752
I'm gonna put on a heavy
regimen of Prozac...
410
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,046
[gasps]
411
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,966
Oh, oh my God,
you sick little monkey!
412
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,509
Okay children,
413
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,011
we just received word
from the mayor
414
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,554
that the Christmas play
415
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,264
can't include
any Christmas lights,
416
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:35,143
since they offend
people with epilepsy.
417
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,645
So Kenny,
would you please go over
418
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,688
and pull the light cords
out of the wall?
419
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,443
Careful now Kenny,
420
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,070
those are very, very
dangerous.
421
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,869
Okay, now let's practice
our...
422
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,412
No, get away from me!
423
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,789
Here, just look more
closely at it.
424
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,624
No, go away!
425
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,085
Stan, you need to do
something about your friend.
426
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,795
Okay?
427
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,213
Get him out of here
before he hurts anybody!
428
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,589
Okay?
429
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,135
Hello, we need to commit
our friend Kyle, please.
430
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,096
Reason?
431
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,305
I'm a clinically depressed
fecalphiliac on Prozac.
432
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,224
Any allergies?
- No.
433
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,936
Jacket!
434
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,980
Bye Kyle,
happy Chanukah.
435
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236
Okay children,
436
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,738
does everyone have
their leotards on?
437
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,617
Good, it looks like they've
taken the Christmas trees down.
438
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,120
Yes, and there's nothing
Christian either.
439
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,955
This should be great.
440
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,499
Oh, this could be such
a wonderful Christmas play.
441
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,751
I wish our little Kyle
was here to see it.
442
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,044
♪ Dreidel, dreidel,
dreidel ♪
443
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,462
♪ I made you out of clay ♪
444
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,797
♪ Dreidel, dreidel,
dreidel ♪
445
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,298
♪ With dreidel I will play ♪
446
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,717
Second verse,
same as the first!
447
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,593
♪ Dreidel, dreidel,
dreidel ♪
448
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,345
Welcome to the South Park
elementary holiday...
449
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,681
Wait, wait, there's
a star above the stage.
450
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,017
That's very offensive
to non-Christians.
451
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,768
Oh come on.
452
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,104
Hey, don't push your
beliefs on me, buddy!
453
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,523
I agree.
- Oh brother!
454
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,358
Kenny would you
please climb that ladder
455
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,444
and take down the star
above the stage.
456
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,112
And be careful not to fall
457
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,739
in that little pool
below you Kenny.
458
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,323
The shark for
the third act is in there.
459
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,617
Hmm?
460
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,494
Ladies and gentlemen,
461
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,955
welcome to the South Park
Elementary holiday experience.
462
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,665
Before we bring out
the kiddies for the play,
463
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,043
here's a non-offensive,
non-denominational
464
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,962
holiday song
by the school chef.
465
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:30,050
♪ I'm gonna lay
you down by the yule log ♪
466
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:33,303
♪ I'm gonna
love you right ♪
467
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,056
♪ Baby I'm gonna
deck your halls ♪
468
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,476
♪ And silent your night ♪
469
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,479
♪ You'll hear
the angel's sing ♪
470
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,648
♪ When I'm sliding
off your bra ♪
471
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:48,860
♪ I just can't wait
to jingle your bells ♪
472
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,905
♪ And fa-la-la
your la ♪
473
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,490
I wish Kyle was here.
474
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,200
It just doesn't seem right
without him.
475
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,409
Yeah, old Kyle's gonna
be locked up for a while,
476
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,161
so get used to it.
477
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,371
Okay kids, get ready
to take your places.
478
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,623
Thank you, Chef.
479
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,293
[cheers and applause]
480
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,587
And now South Park
Elementary presents
481
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,464
the happy, non-offensive
non-denominational
482
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,424
Christmas play.
483
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,385
With music and lyrics by
New York minimalist composer,
484
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,804
Phillip Glass.
485
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:22,519
As I turn and look
into the sun,
486
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,731
the rays burn my eyes.
487
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:30,360
How like a turtle,
the sun looks.
488
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,403
What the hell is this?
489
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,324
This is horrible.
490
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,701
This is the most god-awful
piece of crap I've ever seen.
491
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,787
Hey, you're the ones
who made it this way.
492
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,914
Because the Jews said
it couldn't be Christian.
493
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,416
It wasn't our idea to
take out Santa Claus.
494
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,252
All you bastards
ruined Christmas!
495
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,420
Get 'em in the ribs!
496
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,672
Get 'em!
497
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,423
This sucks dude.
498
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,092
This is like the worst
Christmas I've ever seen.
499
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,218
Yeah.
500
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,929
Say where's Kyle?
501
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,056
We committed him.
- What? Why?
502
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,475
'Cause he kept seeing
this little brown piece
503
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310
of Christmas Poo
everywhere that he went.
504
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:07,480
Christmas Poo?
You mean Mr. Hankey?
505
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,065
Huh?
Uh-oh!
506
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,529
Say kids,
why the long faces?
507
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,031
We're bored.
- There's nothing to do.
508
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,742
Well maybe this will help.
509
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,828
Yay, Mr. Hankey
construction set!
510
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,746
That's right kids,
511
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540
now you can make your
very own Mr. Hankey!
512
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,167
Just use the special
fecal fishing net,
513
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,210
and select
your best Mr. Hankey.
514
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,171
That one!
515
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,964
Then use the hand-crafted
Hankey stern to add
516
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:33,965
whatever eyes, mouth,
and hats you want.
517
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,592
Howdy-ho!
518
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,218
I made a mariachi
Mr. Hankey.
519
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,928
Now it's a Mrs. Hankey.
520
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,722
Let's put the fez hat
on him.
521
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,558
I wish Daddy
was still alive.
522
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,394
Mr. Hankey play set comes
with everything seen.
523
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,230
Hey, where's
Mr. Hankey?
524
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,943
[laughter]
525
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:54,986
I love you sweetheart.
526
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,529
I love you too.
527
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,411
This is horrible,
everybody is fighting
528
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,163
and my best friend
is in an institution.
529
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,956
All because we didn't
believe in Mr. Hankey.
530
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,833
Well, you can
believe in him now.
531
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,920
I believe.
532
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:15,256
I believe in Mr. Hankey.
533
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,051
Howdy-ho.
534
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,011
Huh?
- Howdy folks.
535
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,306
Gosh, you sure do
smell nice and flowery.
536
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,059
Whoa!
- Howdy-ho Chef.
537
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,228
Howdy-ho Mr. Hankey.
538
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,687
Okay, that does it.
539
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,731
Screw you guys,
I'm going home.
540
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,067
Talking poo is
where I draw the line.
541
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,944
What's all the ruckus?
542
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,654
I'm glad you're here
Mr. Hankey.
543
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,364
The whole town is about
to kill each other.
544
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,200
I reckon this could
be a job for Mr. Hankey.
545
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,120
[whistles]
546
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,789
Stop fighting.
547
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,750
Oh my god, what the hell
is that thing?
548
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,253
Come on gang,
don't fight.
549
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,213
You people focus so hard
550
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:57,423
on the things
wrong with Christmas,
551
00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,594
that you've forgotten
what's so right about it.
552
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,179
Don't you see?
553
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,847
This is the one time of year
554
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,600
we're supposed to forget
all the bad stuff.
555
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:11,145
Stop worrying and being sad
about the state of the world,
556
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,649
and for just one day say
"Ah, the heck with it."
557
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,069
Let's sing and dance
and bake cookies.
558
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,366
[single clap]
559
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,289
[cheers and applause]
560
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,708
Dude, this is
pretty [bleep] up.
561
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:35,461
♪ I'm a Jew,
a lonely Jew ♪
562
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,714
Howdy-ho, Kyle!
563
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,549
Oh no...
I'm not sane yet.
564
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,843
I brought some
friends with me.
565
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:42,969
Friends?
566
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:49,475
all: Merry Christmas,
Kyle Broslovski!
567
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,476
You mean you
can see him?
568
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,061
I'm not crazy?
569
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,691
♪ Mr. Hankey
the Christmas Poo ♪
570
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,901
♪ He loves me
I love you ♪
571
00:21:59,027 --> 00:22:01,487
♪ Therefore vicariously
he loves you ♪
572
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,823
♪ Even if you're a Jew ♪
573
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,200
♪ Sometimes he's nutty,
sometimes he's corny ♪
574
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,953
♪ He can be brown
or greenish brown ♪
575
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,497
♪ But if you eat fiber
on Christmas eve ♪
576
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:13,833
♪ He might come
to your town ♪
577
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,418
♪ Mr. Hankey... ♪
578
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:18,338
Well, I got a long night
ahead of me.
579
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,381
Bye-bye,
and Merry Christmas.
580
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,966
Goodbye, Mr. Hankey.
581
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,134
Bring me lots of presents!
582
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,886
I always believed in you.
583
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,180
[Santa]
Howdy-ho, ho, ho!
584
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,806
You know, I learned
something today.
585
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,600
I learned that
Jewish people are okay.
586
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,393
And that Chanukah
can be cool too.
587
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,686
Yeah.
588
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,440
You know it seems like
something's still not right.
589
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:41,194
Yeah something
feels unfinished.
590
00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:42,820
Well, what could it be?
591
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,325
Woo-hoo hoo!
592
00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,584
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
593
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,504
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪