1 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,254 [both laughing] 2 00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:04,797 Boy, that was a hoot and a holler. 3 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,424 Did you like that, South Parketeers? 4 00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,050 children: You bet! - Well, great. 5 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,385 Then you're gonna love this next episode. 6 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,761 It's our favorite. 7 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,596 It's called "Tom's Rhinoplasty." 8 00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,890 In it, Mr. Garrison gets a nose job, 9 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,851 a substitute teacher comes to South Park, 10 00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:18,686 and our boys learn how to lick carpet. 11 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,229 You know, South Parketeers, 12 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,939 the reason that this episode is our favorite 13 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,774 is because we got Natasha Henstridge 14 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,193 to be the voice of the substitute teacher. 15 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:29,155 Natasha Henstridge was that actress in the movie "Species," 16 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,865 and we loved her acting. 17 00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,491 In fact, Matt and I used to freeze-frame 18 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,618 a lot of her acting from that movie on the VCR 19 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,454 and play with ourselves. 20 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,248 Then we'd play a little game called I'm Natasha Henstridge, 21 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,000 in which I'd close my eyes 22 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,752 and pretend that Matt was Natasha Henstridge. 23 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,253 Then Matt would close his eyes 24 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,172 and pretend that I was Natasha Henstridge. 25 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,090 But, kids, remember: 26 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,218 If you want to play I'm Natasha Henstridge with your friends, 27 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,137 play it safe. 28 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:54,930 Oh! Oh, look, it's our Indian friend, 29 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,932 Indian Companion. 30 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,517 Say hi, kids. Say hi to Indian Companion. 31 00:00:58,642 --> 00:00:59,935 children: Hi! 32 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,062 What's happening, Indian Companion? 33 00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,938 Someone coming? 34 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,940 Someone coming. - Someone coming. 35 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,317 Someone coming, great. Thank you. 36 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,985 Thanks, bud. - Thanks so much. 37 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,612 Why don't you go build a teepee there, buddy? 38 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,614 I think you'll be Natasha Henstridge tonight. 39 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,492 Anyway, why don't we all sit back, relax, 40 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:16,535 and have a rootin'-tootin' good time 41 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,496 with "Tom's Rhinoplasty"? 42 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,206 Yeehaw! 43 00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:21,499 Ready? 44 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,583 [guns fire] 45 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,251 children: Hooray! 46 00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:34,553 [twangy music] 47 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,055 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 48 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,057 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 49 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,767 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 50 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,310 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 51 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,770 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 52 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,605 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 53 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,315 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 54 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,817 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪ 55 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,318 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪ 56 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,070 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 57 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:54,240 [singing indistinctly] 58 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,741 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 59 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,535 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 60 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,581 Stan, you know it's almost Valentine's Day. 61 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,458 I know. 62 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,377 Maybe we should go on a cruise or something. 63 00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,337 I can't afford a cruise, dude. 64 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,048 I know, but we can make a little boat out of cardboard 65 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,883 and pretend it's a cruise! 66 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,136 [hysterical laughing] 67 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,266 Shut up, Cartman! 68 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,351 That is so lame! 69 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,353 [laughing] 70 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,151 And then we could dress up in little costumes 71 00:02:30,276 --> 00:02:31,735 and pretend we're getting married. 72 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:34,738 [hysterical laughing] 73 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,533 Stop this! 74 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,827 You're killing me over here! 75 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:42,705 Children, I have some difficult news for you. 76 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,332 Mr. Garrison won't be teaching for a while. 77 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,376 He has to have surgery! 78 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,670 [all cheering] 79 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,672 So you're going to have a substitute teacher! 80 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,257 [all groaning] 81 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,384 And I want you to show the substitute 82 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,137 the same respect you show for Mr. Garrison. 83 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,598 Yes, little boy? 84 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,474 We don't have respect for Mr. Garrison. 85 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:07,062 Oh. Anyhoo, I want you all to meet your new substitute, 86 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,315 Miss Ellen. 87 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,900 Hello, children. 88 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,234 Whoa! - Whoa! 89 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,528 Wow, she's pretty. 90 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,863 [mumbling] 91 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,364 You can say that again. 92 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,908 [mumbling] 93 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,242 Good luck, Miss Ellen. 94 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,660 If they get out of control, 95 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,078 just use this tear gas, okay? 96 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,163 Thank you. 97 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,707 I'm sure I'll be fine. 98 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,126 Now, children, I know that you must be very upset 99 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,086 about your teacher having surgery, 100 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:34,006 but I promise I'll try to make things as easy as possible 101 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,257 for all of us. 102 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,258 [gasping] 103 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,259 Stan? 104 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,761 Stan! 105 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,137 Now let me try and learn your names 106 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,388 by your seating assignments. 107 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,182 You are Eric Cartman? 108 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,683 Yes, ma'am! 109 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,311 Okay, and you must be Stan Marsh! 110 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,437 [retches] 111 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,649 Do you need to go to the nurse's office, Stanley? 112 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,567 No, he always pukes when he's in love. 113 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,736 I'll kick your ass, Cartman! 114 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:56,820 So you're all right? 115 00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,530 [retches] 116 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,991 Dude, you had waffles for breakfast, huh? 117 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:05,913 I have to admit I'm still embarrassed 118 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,623 about getting a nose job, Tom. 119 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,999 I didn't want people at school to know, 120 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,584 so I told them I had herpes. 121 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,294 You shouldn't be embarrassed, Mr. Garrison. 122 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,505 People have cosmetic surgery all the time. 123 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,465 Before we start, this computer can help you 124 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,634 pick what kind of nose you want. 125 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,179 Wow! Isn't that amazing, Mr. Hat? 126 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,390 It sure is, Mr. Garrison! 127 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,308 Now, we could go with something a little smaller, 128 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,103 which would make you look like this. 129 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,771 Hmm... 130 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,314 Or we could straighten out the bridge, 131 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,316 which would make you look like this. 132 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,943 Oh, that's not bad. 133 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,653 Of course, we could narrow the bridge, 134 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,239 which would make you look more like this. 135 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,242 Wow! That's it! 136 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,451 That's the nose I want! 137 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:45,995 All righty, then. 138 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,288 Now, I must warn you, Mr. Garrison, 139 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,248 that there are risks. 140 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,709 You could wind up a hideous, foul, shadow of a creature, 141 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,419 so terrifyingly ugly 142 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,254 that you are forced to live in the sewers, 143 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,840 only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food. 144 00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,509 I can live with that. 145 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,635 All righty, then, let's get started! 146 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,431 She wasn't looking at you, butt-lord, 147 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,932 she was looking at me! 148 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,350 Well, that goes without saying, fat-ass. 149 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,436 How could she help but look at you? 150 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:11,937 You guys can stop fighting. It was me she was checking out. 151 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,105 Until you puked on her. 152 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,898 Hello there, children. 153 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:17,735 What's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher? 154 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,653 Miss Ellen, dude. She's beautiful! 155 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,114 Is she like a Vanessa Williams beautiful, 156 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,615 or a Toni Braxton beautiful? 157 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,327 Or Pamela Anderson beautiful? 158 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,537 Or is she Erin Gray 159 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,622 in the second season of "Buck Rogers" beautiful? 160 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,541 Yeah, that one! - Whoo! 161 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,126 I gotta meet this woman. 162 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,628 Stan, didn't you notice how her left arm 163 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,756 is longer than the right one? 164 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,591 No. - Well, it is! 165 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,301 That's okay, you know what they say 166 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,136 about women with one arm longer than the other. 167 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,888 [mumbling] 168 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,765 That's right. 169 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,683 Well, did you notice that mole on the back of her neck 170 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,226 with the hair growing out of it? 171 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,062 That's okay, you know what they say 172 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,938 about women with a mole on the back of their necks 173 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,607 with hair growin' out of it. 174 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,237 Stan, we're still valentines, right? 175 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,156 Sure, Wendy, whatever. 176 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,699 Hey, we should buy Miss Ellen Valentine's Day presents. 177 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,659 Yeah, we'll go to the mall tonight. 178 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:09,578 I'm gonna buy her a vacuum cleaner. 179 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,497 Chicks like vacuum cleaners! 180 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,207 [somber music] 181 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,750 [sniffles] 182 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,503 ♪♪ 183 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:20,964 ♪ I remember when we were so in love ♪ 184 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:24,385 ♪ The moments that we shared were timeless ♪ 185 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,178 ♪ Saw it in the wind ♪ 186 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,222 ♪ Knew it in a glance ♪ 187 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:32,226 ♪ The songs we sang were simple and rhymeless ♪ 188 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:36,480 ♪ I can't stop now ♪ 189 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,650 ♪ My heart's awake ♪ 190 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:43,487 ♪ I feel your arms ♪ 191 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,782 ♪ My arms to take ♪ 192 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,077 ♪ I guess times change ♪ 193 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:55,833 ♪ Even when love is the same ♪ 194 00:06:55,958 --> 00:07:01,004 ♪♪ 195 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,259 [writing on chalkboard] 196 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,558 Oh, goodness. 197 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,060 Would anybody mind cleaning my erasers after class? 198 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,562 Me, me, me, me, me, me, me! 199 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:17,896 You guys are so immature! 200 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,148 Act like eight-year-olds! 201 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,399 Stan, how 'bout you? 202 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,442 [retches] 203 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,402 I'd love to! 204 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,697 Now, children, let's review our multiplication tables. 205 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,073 Cartman? 206 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,867 What's a multiplication table? 207 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,911 Didn't Mr. Garrison teach multiplication? 208 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,873 Well, where did he leave off? 209 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,916 We were learning about how Yasmine Bleeth 210 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,918 is going out with that Richard Grieco guy 211 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,004 that used to be on "21 Jump Street" 212 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,755 but then he got his own show for just a little while. 213 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:46,258 Oh, hello. 214 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,468 Can I help you? 215 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:50,137 I'm Chef. - And? 216 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,264 I just, uh-- I stopped by 'cause little Kyle 217 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,516 forgot his laundry detergent on the playground. 218 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,851 My laundry detergent? - That's not Kyle's-- 219 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,519 Shh! Crazy cracker's always 220 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,271 leavin' that detergent all over the place. 221 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,064 What was your name again? 222 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,233 Uh-oh, Chef's movin' in on Miss Ellen. 223 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,985 I'm the substitute. 224 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,613 Well I'm sure there's no substitute for you. 225 00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,406 That's very nice, Mr. Chef. 226 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,491 Now if you're finished... 227 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,950 [funky music] 228 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,786 ♪ Nobody could take your place ♪ 229 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:17,789 ♪ No way they can match your face, no ♪ 230 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,750 ♪ You got it goin' on in a way ♪ 231 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,585 ♪ So clear ♪ 232 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,837 ♪ I just wanna buy you a beer ♪ 233 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:27,633 Maybe tonight at 7:30 or something, I can come by and... 234 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,719 ♪ Pick you up in my car ♪ 235 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,054 ♪ No substitute ♪ 236 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,388 ♪ No substitute for you ♪ 237 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,598 ♪ No substitute ♪ 238 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,016 ♪ No, baby there's ♪ 239 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,059 ♪ No substitute ♪ 240 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,227 ♪ For you, girl ♪ 241 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,311 ♪ No substitute ♪ 242 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,729 ♪ For you now ♪ 243 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:41,897 ♪ You know that it's true ♪ 244 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,607 ♪ No substitute ♪ 245 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,818 ♪ There's just no substitute for you ♪ 246 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,030 We've got to learn how to do this, dude. 247 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,615 Yep. - That was enthralling, 248 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,117 Mr. Chef, but could I get back to teaching now? 249 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,244 If we can have dinner tonight. 250 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,870 Fine, Chef. 251 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,747 Just let me do my job before I get fired. 252 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,458 Oh, weak! Chef's gonna make sweet love to Miss Ellen! 253 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,584 What? 254 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,462 Mr. Garrison, Mr. Garrison! 255 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,382 Where--where am I? 256 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,759 The operation is over, Mr. Garrison. 257 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,762 Oh, I feel weak. How do I look? 258 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,639 You look great! 259 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,183 I--I feel kind of nauseous. 260 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,352 Yes, well, that's to be expected. 261 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,187 We did some major reconstruction, 262 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:23,605 sawed through some bone, 263 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,898 snapped some cartilage. 264 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,108 [groans] 265 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,859 All the blood and mucus, 266 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,028 just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart. 267 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,738 [imitating cracking] 268 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,532 Ohh... 269 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,784 By the way, did you ever see that movie "Contact"? 270 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,413 [retching] 271 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,834 Oh, stop, that movie was terrible! 272 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,669 Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Garrison, 273 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,087 why don't you get some rest? 274 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,880 I'll check on you a little later. 275 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,924 [breathing shakily] 276 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,176 I waited through that entire movie 277 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,929 to see the alien and it was her goddamn father. 278 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,807 [school bell rings] 279 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,517 Okay, kids, remember your homework. 280 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:01,893 We have a lot of catching up to do. 281 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,146 Good-bye, Miss Ellen. 282 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,689 Stop kissing ass, Cartman! 283 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,774 I'm not kissing ass, you stupid slut! 284 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,401 Miss Ellen, can I talk to you? 285 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,236 Of course, Wendy. 286 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,614 I couldn't help but notice you taking a liking 287 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,532 to my boyfriend Stan. 288 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,285 Oh, well, I've taken a liking to all of you. 289 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,996 You're all so young and cute and full of life. 290 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,582 Can I tell you something, Miss Ellen? 291 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,251 Of course, Wendy. 292 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,046 Don't [bleep] with me! 293 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:30,839 What? - You heard me! 294 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,633 Stay away from my man, bitch, 295 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:35,636 or I'll whup your sorry ho ass back to last year! 296 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,181 Bye, Miss Ellen! 297 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,603 Well, I certainly want to thank 298 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:45,979 all you lovely children 299 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,606 for the presents you bought me! 300 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:51,234 Oh, what a delightful scarf! 301 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,944 Thank you, Kyle! 302 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,655 [coughs] Loser gift, loser gift! 303 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,573 And here's one from Kenny. 304 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,618 Oh, thank you very much, Kenny. 305 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,912 This is a very scrumptious-looking sausage. 306 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,456 [laughing] 307 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,541 Oh, and what a nice alarm clock. 308 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,252 Thank you, Stan. [retches] 309 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,381 And here's another present, from Wendy. 310 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,301 Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you, Wendy. 311 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,012 See? She liked my present the best! 312 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,472 Where's your present, Cartman? 313 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,266 Well, I got Miss Ellen a chocolate pie, 314 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,060 but I, uh, left it at home. 315 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,520 Okay, kids. 316 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:27,813 We're gonna take a spelling test now. 317 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,481 [all gasping] 318 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,400 But as an extra incentive, I'm gonna take 319 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,276 whoever gets the highest score on the quiz 320 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,820 out to dinner. 321 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,447 Aw, man, I wish I knew how to spell! 322 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,199 Are there any questions before we begin? 323 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,575 Yes, Wendy? 324 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,869 When someone gets as old as you, 325 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,122 do they have to wear Depends undergarments? 326 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,129 Dude, I aced that test! 327 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,964 I'm gonna win that dinner with Miss Ellen! 328 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,215 No, you're not. I don't think I missed any! 329 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,633 Hi, Stan. 330 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,051 I bet I scored a 100! 331 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,302 [shouting] Hi, Stan! 332 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:00,721 Oh, hi, Wendy. 333 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,264 I was just in the bathroom, 334 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,890 and Miss Ellen was in there 335 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,684 taking the biggest dump I've ever seen! 336 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:06,685 No, she wasn't! 337 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,853 Yes, she was! 338 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:08,854 That's impossible! 339 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,480 Well, she did! 340 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,107 And she has horrible, horrible gas too! 341 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,191 She says she can't control it! 342 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,110 Nuh-uh! 343 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,404 It smelled like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun! 344 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:18,655 Oh, cool! 345 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,449 All right, Wendy, seriously, 346 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,617 you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing. 347 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,453 Yeah, you're acting like a freak, Wendy. 348 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,329 [screaming] No, I'm not acting like a freak! 349 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873 [voice echoing] 350 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,755 Hey, man, someone's gotta pull that monkey 351 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,214 out of Wendy's ass! 352 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,966 Hello there, children. - Oh, hey, Chef. 353 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,384 How did your date with Miss Ellen go? 354 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,261 Not too good. - What happened? 355 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,763 Didn't you make sweet love to her? 356 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:44,222 No, no, no, she's not like that. 357 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,183 You see... uh, how do I put this? 358 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:47,601 Children, 359 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,561 Miss Ellen doesn't exactly play 360 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,771 for the right team. 361 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,441 In--in other words, children, 362 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:58,445 she's not a member of the heterosexual persuasion. 363 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,449 Don't you understand? She's a lesbian. 364 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,117 A what-bian? - A plebeian? 365 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,411 You boys don't know what a lesbian is? 366 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,038 Kenny? 367 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,166 No, explain it to us, Chef. 368 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,876 That's okay, uh, look-- 369 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,461 all you need to know is, 370 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,129 Miss Ellen's a lesbian, and that means 371 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,214 she only likes other lesbians. 372 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,423 Oh. 373 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,633 Now move along, children, 374 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:20,634 you're holding up the line. 375 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,052 Weak, dude. 376 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,804 She only likes other lesbians? 377 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,514 Hey, man, if she only likes other lesbians, 378 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,890 then all we gotta do is become lesbians too! 379 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,099 Hey, yeah! 380 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,309 Hey, guys, you know what? 381 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,644 My grandma was Dutch-Irish, 382 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:31,895 and my grandpa was lesbian. 383 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,230 That makes me quarter lesbian. 384 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:34,731 You're just sayin' that, Cartman. 385 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,274 Yeah, you're not a lesbian, fat-ass! 386 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,651 I am too! 387 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,986 Okay, only a few more bandages to go. 388 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,363 Well? 389 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,948 Take a look for yourself. 390 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,911 Wow, that's a pretty good nose job! 391 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,496 What do you think, Mr. Hat? 392 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,206 I think it looks great. 393 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,124 Yes, I think once the swelling goes down, 394 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,584 you'll really notice a difference. 395 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,215 What the hell are you doing, Cartman? 396 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,467 My mom said if you want to become a lesbian 397 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,427 you have to lick carpet! - Really? 398 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,429 Well, I got a Indi-glow Girls CD. 399 00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,139 The guy at the record store said it was perfect. 400 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,475 And I got these killer Birkenstocks. 401 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,814 ♪ I woke up very early one Sunday morning ♪ 402 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,566 This is a bunch of crap! 403 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,984 I've been licking this carpet for three hours 404 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,277 and I still don't feel like a lesbian! 405 00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,987 ♪ Do it light ♪ 406 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,905 ♪ Taking me through the night ♪ 407 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,324 ♪ Shadow dancing ♪ 408 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:29,077 ♪ Baby, you do it right ♪ 409 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,788 ♪ Give me more... ♪ 410 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,290 Hi, Mrs. Kimball. 411 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,501 Oh, how-dy, Mr. Garrison. 412 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,004 Say, honey, you look kinda different. 413 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,589 Really? 414 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,465 Did you get a haircut? 415 00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,384 No, but thanks for asking. 416 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,094 ♪ Do it light ♪ 417 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,387 ♪ Taking me through the night ♪ 418 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,598 Call me... I'm in the book! 419 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,016 Wow, Mr. Hat, having a nose job 420 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,559 is even better than I thought. 421 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,019 There's a whole world of opportunity 422 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,395 opening up in front of us. 423 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,981 Thanks for coming over, Bebe. 424 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,649 That's okay, Wendy, 425 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,151 I brought my makeup kit like you asked me. 426 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,652 What are we doing, anyway? 427 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,487 That mean old substitute isn't gonna stop 428 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,615 until she takes everything from me, Bebe! 429 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,366 Really? - Yeah! 430 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,577 What I'd really like to do is load her into a rocket 431 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,370 and have her shot into the center of the Sun! 432 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,997 But instead, 433 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,291 I'll just get Stan to notice me again. 434 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,293 Bebe, I need a makeover! 435 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,544 Oh, cool! 436 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,173 I can't wait for Miss Ellen to see 437 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,633 what a raging lesbian I am! 438 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,384 I'm a bigger lesbian than you! 439 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,011 No, you're a fatter lesbian than me! 440 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,263 Screw you guys, I'm king lesbian! 441 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,432 Whoa, is that Wendy Testaburger? 442 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:38,521 ♪♪ 443 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,357 Hi, guys, what's up? 444 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,484 Wow, Wendy looks just like that chick from "Grease," 445 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,902 Elton John! 446 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,403 Wow, hi, Wendy. 447 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,030 Oh, hi, Stan. 448 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,573 I think it worked, Bebe! 449 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,824 Yeah! 450 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,618 Good morning, children. 451 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:54,079 Wow! 452 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,580 Damn! Get down! 453 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,915 Yeah! 454 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,458 Oh, Wendy, 455 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,876 you wore black leather too! 456 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,213 We're like sisters. 457 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,006 Die! 458 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,716 All right, kids, I finished grading your papers 459 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,051 and the person with the highest score... 460 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,260 Hello there, children! 461 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,971 ♪ Do it light ♪ 462 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,223 ♪ Taking me through the night ♪ 463 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,350 ♪ Shadow dancing ♪ 464 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,477 Oh, no, Mr. Garrison's back! 465 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,979 Oh, weak, dude! 466 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,438 Hooray, hooray! 467 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,315 Hooray for Mr. Garrison! 468 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,651 ♪ He's back, he's back, Mr. Garrison is back ♪ 469 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,361 So long, substitute! 470 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,404 Don't let the door hit your ass 471 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,322 on the way out, now! 472 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,700 Children, I have a very important announcement to make. 473 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,952 I'm quitting my job as a teacher. 474 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:34,953 [all gasping] 475 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,496 What? 476 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,789 It's strange, but suddenly I feel 477 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,582 really confident about myself. 478 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,167 And I've decided to quit teaching 479 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,919 and do what I've always dreamed of doing: 480 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,380 hang out and screw hot chicks. 481 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,881 You... you can't! 482 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,717 But the good news is, 483 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,802 I've already talked to Principal Victoria about it, 484 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,387 and Miss Ellen can stay on 485 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,888 as your permanent teacher. 486 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,307 [all cheering] 487 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,809 Really? 488 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,602 That's right. Will you stay? 489 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,354 Well, sure! 490 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,689 No! 491 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,024 No! 492 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,859 Oh, by the way, kids, 493 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,569 the person who scored highest on the quiz 494 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,112 and gets to have dinner on me, 495 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,780 is Stan. 496 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,657 [retches] Kickass! 497 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,658 [screaming] No! 498 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:14,993 No! 499 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:17,120 Oh, and Wendy, I almost forgot, 500 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,413 we just got a call in the office. 501 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,414 Your grandma just died. 502 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,416 [screaming] 503 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,209 Ooh, my, what an exciting day! 504 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,797 ♪ Do it light ♪ 505 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,424 ♪ Taking me through the night ♪ 506 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,967 ♪ Shadow dancing ♪ 507 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,385 Great, baby, you're lookin' great! 508 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,345 I'm a lady killer, Mr. Hat! 509 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,806 You can say that again, Mr. Garrison! 510 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,059 Okay, just a few hundred more shots, 511 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,060 and we'll be done. 512 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,603 A few hundred? 513 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,605 Hey, that's the life of a model, baby! 514 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,648 Oh, boy, I'm gonna need some more smack! 515 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:46,775 You got it! 516 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,944 [camera shutter clicking] 517 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,741 I'm very glad we could have dinner together, Stanley. 518 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,367 I want you to know 519 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,952 that I really care about your education. 520 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,953 Are we making love now? 521 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,497 Excuse me? 522 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:01,873 They don't have a fireplace here. 523 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,041 We shouldn't be making love yet. 524 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,709 What are you talking about? 525 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,960 You have to make love down by the fire, 526 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,253 that's what Chef always says. 527 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,214 Stan, I'm your teacher, okay? 528 00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,423 We're only friends. 529 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,925 But why? 530 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,718 Well, first of all, you're eight. 531 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,386 It's because I'm not a lesbian, isn't it? 532 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:16,721 Oh, boy. 533 00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:19,516 [thunder rumbling] 534 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,059 It's over. 535 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,602 I give up. 536 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,151 Boy, I'll tell you something, Mr. Hat, 537 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,778 being hot and sexy is fun for a while, 538 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,655 but it sure does get boring. 539 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,907 You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. 540 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,492 [women screaming] 541 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,827 What the... 542 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,037 Whoa! Hey, wait, wait! 543 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,456 Ahh! 544 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,250 Mr. Hat, save yourself! 545 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,043 [school bell ringing] 546 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,294 So how'd your date with Miss Ellen go? 547 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:49,295 Did you make love? 548 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,338 I think so. 549 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,756 No way! - Yep! 550 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,133 Down by the fire? - Yep! 551 00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:54,926 [mumbling] 552 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,010 Did I what? 553 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,179 Good morning, children. 554 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,598 Miss Ellen, can I talk to you? 555 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,184 Sure, but can it wait till after class, Wendy? 556 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,228 No, I just have to apologize 557 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,230 for the way I've been acting. 558 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,690 Oh, that's okay, Wendy. 559 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,024 No, it's not. 560 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,442 Since you're here to stay, 561 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:13,403 I just hope we can be friends. 562 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,280 Well, I would love that, Wendy. 563 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,407 And... [clears throat] 564 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,450 I want to apologize to everybody. 565 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,327 The way I acted was wrong, 566 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,871 and I've learned from it. 567 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,249 I just wish Stan and Miss Ellen 568 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,002 would have all the happiness in the world. 569 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,880 Wendy, there's nothing between me and Stan. 570 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,465 That's not what we just heard! 571 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,384 [women screaming] 572 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,844 Oh, Mr. Hat, I hate this! 573 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,971 I wish I'd never had a nose job! 574 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,850 Damn this beautiful face of mine! 575 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,268 Damn it to hell! 576 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,521 We have to get the surgery again, Mr. Hat. 577 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,648 I wanna be the old me again! 578 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,779 Okay, children, let's catch up 579 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,157 on our cursive handwriting. 580 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,159 Down, down, everybody down! 581 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,285 What the hell? 582 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,039 So we meet again Miss Ellen. 583 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,374 And just what is going on here, mister? 584 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,667 I am Hakeem Korashki 585 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,336 of the mighty nation of Iraq. 586 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,879 This woman is a traitor to our government. 587 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,047 It's a lie! 588 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,548 She has killed thousands 589 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,050 and will kill again, I assure you. 590 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,677 Miss Ellen, is this true? - No! 591 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,679 We must take her back to Iraq immediately! 592 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,097 Oh, cool! 593 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,141 Principal Victoria, please! 594 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,309 Here is a black-and-white photo of Miss Ellen 595 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:27,852 with our leader! 596 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,438 Her real name is Maqesh Alaq Makaraqesh. 597 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,315 Well, Miss Makaraqesh, 598 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,943 you certainly tried to put one over on us, boy howdy! 599 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,402 Take her away! 600 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:39,572 No, get away from me! 601 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,454 Oh, my God, she killed Kenny! 602 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,872 You bastard! 603 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:49,874 No! 604 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,377 Wow, what incredible irony. 605 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,670 [sirens wailing] 606 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,380 Wow, I can't believe 607 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,131 Miss Ellen was a criminal Iraqi fugitive! 608 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,092 Yeah, you just never know. 609 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:00,635 Well, I guess I'm sorry 610 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,970 that I was ignoring you and stuff. 611 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,806 Happy Valentine's Day, Stan. 612 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,602 [retching] 613 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:10,937 Eww! 614 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,648 Sorry. - No, it's okay, Stan! 615 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,150 Everything's going to be okay. 616 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,319 Cartman, are you still trying to become a lesbian? 617 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,571 Yeah, dude, my mom says all I have to do 618 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:21,739 is chow on this box. 619 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,414 For crimes against this country, 620 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:31,082 you are hereby sentenced to be 621 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,375 shot into the center of the Sun! 622 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,544 This is all a mistake! 623 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,838 This can't be happening! 624 00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,008 Please! 625 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,801 For the love of God! 626 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,011 Shut up! 627 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,141 [upbeat music playing] 628 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,643 [laughs] Great party, Wendy! 629 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:51,728 Thanks, Mrs. Kimball. 630 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,479 Thanks for helping me 631 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,189 to get Mr. Garrison to come back as a teacher. 632 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,400 Anything for you, sugar-pie. 633 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,651 Oh, hi, Kyle. 634 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,194 I've been thinking, Wendy, 635 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,612 this whole outcome is pretty strange. 636 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:02,822 Uh, excuse me. 637 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:06,200 [speaking foreign language] 638 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,540 [grumbling in foreign language] 639 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,042 How is it that Miss Ellen was suddenly arrested for being-- 640 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,752 Wait, wait! Shh, shh! 641 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:18,129 It's time to whip out the eclipse shoeboxes! 642 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:25,928 Bye-bye, Miss Ellen. 643 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,056 Wendy... you didn't! 644 00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:29,974 I told her... 645 00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:36,064 don't [bleep] with Wendy Testaburger!