1 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:03,629 [laughter] Hold on, hold on. 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:07,174 [flatulence] [laughter] 3 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,509 Did you like that episode, South Park-eteers? 4 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,469 children: You bet! 5 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,929 Well, great, then you're gonna love this next episode. 6 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,389 It's our favorite episode. 7 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,974 It's entitled "Mecha-Streisand." 8 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,351 In it, we follow the real-life exploits 9 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,811 of singer Barbra Streisand 10 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,688 as she tries to take over the world. 11 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,940 You know, South Park-eteers, a lot of our fans ask us, 12 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,109 "Do you really hate the celebrities you make fun of 13 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,610 in 'South Park'?" 14 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,446 And the answer is, of course not. 15 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,072 It's all just in good fun. 16 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,241 Except when it comes to Barbra Streisand. 17 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,451 We hate her. 18 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:34,910 [giggles] And in fact, 19 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,412 we're pretending the Indian Companion 20 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,663 is Barbra Streisand right now. 21 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,123 That's why we're kicking her. 22 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,125 [laughs] Shut up, Barbra Streisand. 23 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,501 children: Hooray! 24 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,961 Well, time to sit back, relax, 25 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,171 and let's have a rootin'-tootin', 26 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,422 yippee-ti-yi-yo 27 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,257 grandma-humpin' time with 28 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,425 "Mecha-Streisand." 29 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,551 Yee-haw! 30 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,971 [gunshot] children: Hooray! 31 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,981 [twangy music] 32 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,483 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 33 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,485 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 34 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,195 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 35 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 36 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,198 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 37 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,033 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 38 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,743 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 39 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,244 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪ 40 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,746 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪ 41 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,498 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 42 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:23,667 [singing indistinctly] 43 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,169 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 44 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,962 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 45 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,883 And so, these ancient arrowheads are buried 46 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,760 deep down in the Earth's crust! 47 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,470 We dig 'em up, polish 'em off 48 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,056 and find over twelve new arrowheads every month! 49 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,642 Booorrrring. [laughter] 50 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,686 Eric, keep quiet! I'm trying to sleep! 51 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:46,398 Now, can anybody tell me who left these arrowheads here? 52 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,400 Isn't that your job? 53 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,820 Well, yes, but I want to see if you're learning anything. 54 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,030 Oh. - Okay, I tell you what. 55 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,574 Why don't we all grab our little anthropology pickaxes 56 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,368 that were handed out 57 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,537 and we'll dig for our very own Indian Arrowheads! 58 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,747 [cheering] 59 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,167 ♪ Day is never finished ♪ 60 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,086 ♪ Massa got me working ♪ 61 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,672 ♪ Someday massa set me free ♪ 62 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,966 Dude, shut up, Cartman! - Ooh, ooh! 63 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,217 I think I found one! 64 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,927 No, I found it. 65 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,929 Oh, I do believe I found it first. 66 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,973 No, I did, Pip! - Oh, dear. 67 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,599 Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it. 68 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518 What do you mean? 69 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,396 Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can. 70 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,565 Then you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can. 71 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,775 And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls. 72 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,402 Last one standing gets the arrowhead. 73 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:34,572 Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must... 74 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,323 Okay, ready? I'll go first. 75 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,869 [yelps, coughs] 76 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,287 [laughter] 77 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,122 Well, I guess you win. 78 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,540 I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead. 79 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,333 I don't want it. 80 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,920 ♪ Day is never finished ♪ 81 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,173 ♪ Massa got me working ♪ 82 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, look, I found another one. 83 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,345 Aw, this is just a stupid triangle! 84 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,223 Whoa, check it out, dude. 85 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,808 It's got little drawings on it. 86 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,476 What is it? - I don't know. 87 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,145 [shimmering tone] Whoa! 88 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,647 That was cool! - Hey, give me that back! 89 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,649 You threw it away, Cartman. It's mine now. 90 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,319 We'll Roshambo for it. - No way, fatty. It's mine. 91 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,862 Anthropologist! 92 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,155 How's it going, boys? 93 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,948 I found a magic triangle 94 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,450 and this greedy son of a bitch took it from me! 95 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,784 You threw it away, fatso! 96 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,036 Let me see that. 97 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,996 Why, this is Anastasi writing! 98 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,332 My God, this must be thousands of years old! 99 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,584 Come on, let me kick you in the nuts for it! 100 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,254 And finally tonight, a young boy 101 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,924 from South Park, Colorado found something very interesting 102 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,550 during a field trip today. 103 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,135 Here with a special report 104 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,262 is a quadriplegic Swiss man on a pony. 105 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,472 Thanks Tom. The little eight year old 106 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,390 was very shocked indeed 107 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,726 when he came across a very ancient triangular object. 108 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,603 Well, I was just digging around, and I was all like, 109 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,688 "Dude, I found this triangle." 110 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,565 And my friends were all like, "Dude," and I was all, "Dude." 111 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,192 And I told him, I said, "Kyle, 112 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,693 I will kick you in the nuts." 113 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,237 But he didn't give it back to me. 114 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,696 So I kicked him square in the nuts... 115 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,531 And he cried like Nancy Kerrigan. 116 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,742 You liar, Cartman! - Screw you, triangle thief! 117 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,203 And so, the little boy will take his discovery home 118 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,871 and perhaps donate it to science... 119 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,331 A little later. 120 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,624 Back to you, Dave. - Thanks, Tom. 121 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,292 Those are some cute, cute kids. 122 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,919 Except for that last one. He's a little tubby. 123 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420 Hey! 124 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,422 What are you gonna do with it, dude? 125 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,174 I'm gonna put it in my room, where Cartman can't find it. 126 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,093 Oh I'll find it, don't worry! 127 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,222 Goddammit! Gimme my triangle, Kyle, seriously! 128 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,682 You did throw it away, Cartman. 129 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,141 I was just setting it aside. 130 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,227 Well, you might as well let it go. 131 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,521 Never! I'll get that triangle if it's the last thing I do! 132 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,189 [dramatic musical flourish] 133 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,857 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that pepper ♪ 134 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,526 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that salt ♪ 135 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:36,986 ♪ Put it in the skillet and cook it ♪ 136 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,737 Excuse me, sir. - Can I help--hey. 137 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,031 You're that movie critic guy on TV. 138 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,659 Leonard Maltin, yes. - Well I'll be a teenage girl 139 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,828 backstage at an Aerosmith concert. 140 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,247 Leonard Maltin in my cafeteria! 141 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,082 I'm Chef. 142 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,834 I know who you are. You must listen to me, Chef. 143 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,377 We have precious little time. 144 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,504 Have you seen Barbra Streisand recently? 145 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,172 Barbra Streisand? You mean, like, 146 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,716 THE Barbra Streisand? 147 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,175 Have you seen her?! - No. 148 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,677 Not since "Yentl." 149 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,387 Thank God. Then I'm not too late. 150 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:04,972 Too late for what? 151 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,682 Chef, it is of the upmost importance 152 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,017 that you tell me where those little boys 153 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,476 from the news report on TV are. 154 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,478 Why do you care? 155 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,773 I have a button we can use for his nose. 156 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,151 [muffled speech] 157 00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:18,736 What would you use a marble sack for? 158 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,112 Be careful where you put that carrot. 159 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,322 Kyle might steal it. 160 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,407 I didn't steal anything. 161 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,701 Stan, would you tell Kyle that I'm not speaking with him? 162 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,119 Good! 163 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,663 [whirring] - What's that noise? 164 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,081 Whoa! 165 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,583 Aah! Aliens! 166 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,836 [ominous music] 167 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,465 ♪♪ 168 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,843 Who is the boy I saw on the news report tonight? 169 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,472 Hello there, little boy. Do you know who I am? 170 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,639 No. 171 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,475 Oh, I bet you do. 172 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,145 ♪ I'm going... ♪ - Aah! Stop that! 173 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,565 ♪ Where there's lucky clovers in the sun... ♪ 174 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,858 Yeah, that sucks, dude. 175 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,902 I'm Barbra Streisand! 176 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,820 So? - So... 177 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:06,241 So I'm a very famous and very important individual. 178 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,743 Like John Elway important? 179 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,411 What?! - Do you know John Elway? 180 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,121 No. 181 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,498 Oh, so you're really famous and important 182 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,665 but you don't know John Elway. 183 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,793 Look, little boy, 184 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,629 I understand that you found a neat little triangle near here. 185 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:19,922 You know what I'm talking about? 186 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,256 Yeah... 187 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,800 No, I found it. He stole it. 188 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,635 You threw it away, Cartman! 189 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,678 I'm not talking to him, because he's a dirty thief. 190 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,223 Little boy, does the triangle have a symbol of two snakes 191 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,349 joined at the middle? 192 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,934 Yeah, how'd you know? 193 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,520 Okay, now this is very important. 194 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,481 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar now? 195 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,941 Triangle of Zinthar? 196 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,651 Why do you want to know, lady? 197 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,152 I'm not talking to you, you pissant little hick! 198 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,529 Whoa, dude! 199 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,114 Where is the Triangle, damn it?! 200 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,657 Aaagh! 201 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,867 What seems to be the problemo here? 202 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,662 Problemo? There's no problemo, Officer. 203 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,915 I was just introducing myself to these charming little boys. 204 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Nu-uh! She was being a total bitch! 205 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,461 Boys, shouldn't you be in school? 206 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,797 It's Saturday. - No excuses! 207 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,715 Move along, you little troublemakers. 208 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,472 Well?! - Well what? 209 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,558 You know who I am, don't you? 210 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769 Well, you ain't Fiona Apple. 211 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,147 And if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass 212 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,481 Argh! 213 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,108 Hoo! What a bitch! 214 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,819 [twangy music] 215 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,779 I guess he's not home, Leonard Maltin. 216 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,948 Damn! Then we must look for them elsewhere. 217 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,867 Now, come on, man! What is this all about? 218 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,327 If Barbara Streisand saw the same news report I did, 219 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,163 then those boys are in grave danger. 220 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,539 If you were Barbra Streisand, 221 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,458 where would you be right now? 222 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,168 Hmm. 223 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,754 No, no! I mean where would she be staying? 224 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,133 Oh, uh, well, I always heard that Mrs. Streisand 225 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,968 had her own $4 million condominium 226 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,219 up near the ski slope. 227 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,721 Where? - I don't know. 228 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,347 I-it was just a rumor. 229 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,349 Damn it, man, where is your car?! 230 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,394 [dramatic music] 231 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,437 ♪♪ 232 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,022 He has it, Milo. 233 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,523 That little bastard has the Triangle. 234 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure? - I'm sure! 235 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,611 He knew about the symbol of Krulock! 236 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,154 Then why don't we go get it? 237 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,947 A cop showed up. He's a clever one. 238 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,616 I can't blow everything now that I'm this close. 239 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,494 Everything must be handled very carefully. 240 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,000 How many years has it been, Milo? 30? 40? 241 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,921 For so long, I have waited to find the other triangle. 242 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,131 And now I am so close. 243 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,134 The dawn of Zinthar is close at hand! 244 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,762 [cackling] 245 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,191 [suspenseful music] 246 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:51,323 ♪♪ 247 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,789 [babbling] 248 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,832 [glass shatters] 249 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,417 Cartman? 250 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,211 You scared the crap out of me, Ike! 251 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,420 What the hell are you doing?! 252 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,005 I'm trying to get my tri-- 253 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,131 wait a minute, I'm not talking to you! 254 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,633 Ike, will you tell Kyle 255 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,176 that I was trying to get my triangle back? 256 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,178 [babbling] 257 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,306 Well, Ike, you can tell Cartman that it's my triangle! 258 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,392 [babbling] 259 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,852 Well you can tell Kyle he's a dirty goddamn son of a bitch!! 260 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,605 [babbling] - All right, all right! 261 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,315 If it means that much to you, take the stupid triangle! 262 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067 Huh? - If it'll make you 263 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,235 leave me alone, then just take the damn thing. 264 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,528 Here. 265 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,530 There. Now get out of my house. 266 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,615 And I hope you feel really, really good about yourself. 267 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,119 Hell yeah, I do. I got the triangle. 268 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,080 ♪ I got the triangle, I got the triangle ♪ 269 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832 ♪ You don't, you don't ♪ 270 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,919 Are you sure Barbra Streisand has a condo up here? 271 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,588 It was just a rumor. 272 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,381 A lot of big celebrities have mountain condos. 273 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,091 Then we've got to keep looking. 274 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,634 [tires screech] All right, Leonard Maltin, 275 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,052 this has gone far enough. 276 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679 I ain't driving another mile 277 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,556 till you tell me what this is all about. 278 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,600 Haven't you ever been curious about the insanity 279 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,476 Barbra Streisand exhibits? 280 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,605 Well, I always heard she was kind of a bitch, but-- 281 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,106 More than a bitch, Chef! 282 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,107 She's a calculating, self-centered, 283 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,942 egotistical bitch. 284 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,902 She was born in a small town, her mother was a jackal, 285 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,946 and her father was an insurance salesman. 286 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,115 [shudders] Ooh. Insurance salesman? 287 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,533 When she was five, she knew that she wanted 288 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,743 to be a famous singer. 289 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411 But by the time she was six, 290 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,829 her ambitions became to rule the universe. 291 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,997 She learned of an ancient diamond. 292 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498 The diamond of Pantheos. 293 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,584 Okay, you know what? Never mind. 294 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,961 I don't need to know all this. Forget I asked. 295 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,630 Before she was seven, the keepers of Pantheos 296 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:30,756 learned of this insane little girl's wish. 297 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,466 The diamond was split up 298 00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,259 and buried at opposite ends of the world. 299 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,969 But then, during the shooting of "My Fair Lady," 300 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,013 Barbra Streisand found one of the triangles. 301 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,682 And the other triangle is the one that little Kyle has? 302 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,601 Yes, Mr. Chef. If Babs get ahold 303 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,062 of that other triangle, she will fulfill her prophecy 304 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:48,649 and become the most threatening thing ever known to mankind... 305 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,150 Mecha-Streisand. 306 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,818 Mecha-Streisand? 307 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,029 Oh man, I don't know what the hell that means, 308 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,989 but it doesn't sound good. 309 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,991 Man, the bus sure is late. 310 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,661 Hmmm, I wonder what I should do with my triangle, 311 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,871 now that it is my triangle. 312 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,248 Damn it, Cartman, I gave it to you so you would shut up. 313 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,504 Oh, hello there, little boys. 314 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:11,963 How are you today? 315 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,882 Fine. - That is great. 316 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,884 My name is Mrs. Jones. 317 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,012 And I am a very friendly, nice person. 318 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,265 I hear that one of you found my triangle. 319 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,475 Your triangle? 320 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,269 Yes. You see, that triangle 321 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,855 is part of my kidney dialysis machine. 322 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,691 I'm so glad you found it, 323 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,735 because without it, I was sure to die within hours. 324 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,529 Oh no, you don't! Finders keepers! 325 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,322 But I'll die! 326 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,865 Well, I guess we'll have to Roshambo for it. 327 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,784 I'll kick you in the nuts as hard as I can, 328 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,703 then you kick me square in the nuts as hard as you can. 329 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:46,832 I want to give you a big cash reward for finding it. 330 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,710 It's worth a lot of money to me. 331 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,586 It is? 332 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,463 Hey, no wonder that Barbara Streisand lady wanted it! 333 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,383 Oh, [laughs]. Who is that? 334 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,260 Oh, just this really, really old lady 335 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,970 who wishes she was still only 45. 336 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,888 [laughter] 337 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,557 Yeah, and you should have seen her nose. 338 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,225 It was big enough to land stealth bombers on. 339 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,769 [laughter] 340 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,147 Yeah, and talk about a bitch. I haven't seen-- 341 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:11,523 Enough! 342 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,358 Oh. Ha, ha. 343 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,778 Anyway, if you'll come with me in my car, 344 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,614 I'll take you up to my condo where I'll kill you-- 345 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:23,201 I mean, uh, give you money for the triangle. 346 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,245 Sweet! I'm gonna be rich! 347 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,955 Bet you wish you wouldn't have given me back that triangle 348 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,957 now, huh, Kyle? Dumbass. 349 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,042 Wait, isn't there some rule about not getting into cars 350 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,586 with strangers? 351 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,212 No, not when money's involved, stupid. 352 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,590 [regal music] 353 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,633 And action. 354 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,677 Rebecca, I'm a man. 355 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,305 A man like any other with dreams and emotions. 356 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,141 And that's why I'll never put a foreign object up my ass. 357 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,642 Cut. Great. Print that. 358 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,478 Excellent work, Sid. Take five, guys. 359 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,062 Let's set up for the next shot. 360 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,359 [voices] Hello. - Ho?! 361 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,028 You must hurry. 362 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,696 A young man has found the Triangle of Zinthar! 363 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,615 Where?! 364 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,700 A small, pissant, white-bread mountain town in Colorado 365 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:04,951 called South Park. 366 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,661 Excellent. 367 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:13,460 Soon, the Triangle of Zinthar will be mine, 368 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:17,756 and I will be the biggest, most famous person ever! 369 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,883 [grunts] Let me go! Seriously! 370 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,218 Yeah, let us go! 371 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,094 You fools have no idea 372 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,971 the powers that you are meddling with. 373 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:29,601 I'll teach you to meddle with my triangle! 374 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,145 [screams] It's not my triangle! 375 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,814 It's Kyle's! - Hey! 376 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,941 Don't try to pass it back on me, fat-ass! 377 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,860 [groans] Screw you, hippie! 378 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,571 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar?! 379 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,281 I don't remember! 380 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,242 Goddamn it, tell her! I wanna go home! 381 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,371 Maybe this will help jar your memory. 382 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,789 No! Don't! 383 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,709 ♪ There's a place for us... ♪ 384 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,587 [screaming] Now do you remember?! 385 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:01,258 [panting] Damn your black heart, Barbra Streisand! 386 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,426 I don't know how much more I can take, dude! 387 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:06,054 All right, you asked for it! 388 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,058 ♪ I'm gonna tell you now... ♪ 389 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,226 all: No! 390 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,353 I don't know, man. 391 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,106 Maybe Barbra Streisand doesn't have a place up here after all. 392 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,191 Looks like we'll have to go to plan B. 393 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,860 There's a plan B? 394 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,070 Why the hell have we been driving around all night 395 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,114 and day for when there's a plan B? 396 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,241 Have you ever heard of the band called 'The Cure'? 397 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,201 Oh, come on. 398 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,370 Don't tell me The Cure has something to do with this too. 399 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,831 No, no. Just the lead singer. 400 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,499 Aah! Aah! 401 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,252 Whoa! What's the matter, Leonard Maltin? 402 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,380 She's close! She's very close! I can feel her. 403 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,923 Where? - She has the boys! 404 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,592 T-they're in trouble! 405 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,970 Oh, fudge! - Keep going this way, hurry! 406 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:50,682 ♪ Happiness with you is like happiness with... ♪ 407 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,059 [all screaming] Okay, okay! 408 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,061 I'll tell you where the triangle is! 409 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,730 It's inside my shoe. 410 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398 Oh, for Christ's sake, Cartman. 411 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,358 When's the last time you changed your socks? 412 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,485 I suppose your socks smell like the botanical gardens. 413 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,947 Finally! The triangle is mine! 414 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,490 After centuries of waiting, 415 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:11,494 I finally have the Triangle of Zinthar! 416 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:15,665 Now the Diamond of Pantheos is complete! 417 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,459 [shimmering tone] 418 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,755 Sugoi! Kono hi wa! 419 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,049 Atarashii hajimaru da! 420 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,342 Ima kara! 421 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,136 Atashi no namae wa! 422 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,722 Whoa, dude! 423 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:37,437 MECHA-BARBARA STREISAND DA! 424 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,440 [howling] 425 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,027 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here. 426 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,905 [howling] 427 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,657 Holy crap, Ned! 428 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,951 That's the biggest goddamn deer I've ever seen! 429 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,997 And so just weeks after 430 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,457 the devastating attack of mutant genetic creatures, 431 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,250 zombies, and Thanksgiving turkeys, 432 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,003 the town of South Park has managed to rebuild itself 433 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,588 once again b-- 434 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,174 [howling] 435 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,968 Oh, goddamn it, not again. 436 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,638 ♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪ 437 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:18,770 ♪♪ 438 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,650 Mayor, Barbra Streisand is-- - I noticed. 439 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,152 Call the National Guard! 440 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,072 Oh, we'll get you, you bitch. 441 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:33,118 And to think I actually watched your HBO special! 442 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,746 Children! [together] Chef! 443 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,373 Oh, no, no! 444 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,250 She has joined the two triangles? 445 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,043 Yeah, she stole my triangle! 446 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,797 Get us down from here. - I can't break these locks. 447 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,924 Stand back, Chef. 448 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,759 Marutang ray! 449 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,636 [zapping] 450 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,972 Whoa, that was cool! 451 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598 I've got to go after Mecha-Streisand. 452 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,559 Chef, I need you to call Robert Smith of The Cure 453 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,353 at this number. - Robert Smith? Sweet. 454 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,565 Hello? - Uh, yes. 455 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,316 Is this Robert Smith of The Cure? 456 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,193 Yes, it is. - This may sound kinda strange, 457 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:10,113 but Leonard Maltin asked me to call you. 458 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:13,158 Oh, so Barbara Streisand's found the other triangle, eh? 459 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,327 [dramatic music] 460 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,039 All right, men. Give her everything you've got. 461 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,874 [shrieking] 462 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,376 [missles blasting] 463 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,337 [shrieking] 464 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,797 Get around side her, Ned! 465 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,674 I can't get a shot in from here! 466 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,051 Okay. 467 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,638 Ah, ah, I'm scared. 468 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,434 [shrieking] 469 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,311 ♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪ 470 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:44,689 ♪♪ 471 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,899 It's no use! 472 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,692 Our firepower has no effect! 473 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,070 Oh, my God, it is you! 474 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,364 Oh, I am such a huge fan, Ms. Streisand! 475 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,076 I never thought I'd live to see you in person! 476 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,327 KRAGHGHGH! 477 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,037 I hate to ask this, 478 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,538 but could I get an autograph? 479 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,290 My sister would die! 480 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,792 GRAGHGHGH! 481 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,963 Oh thank you, Ms. Streisand! 482 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,465 [howling] 483 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,133 [overlapping screams] 484 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,222 We're doomed! Goodbye, Mr. Hat. 485 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,433 ♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪ 486 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810 Barbra! 487 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:23,978 [shrieking] 488 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,606 Kitte! Kitte! Churi-pu! 489 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:30,985 ♪ [man singing Japanese] Leonard Maltin ♪ 490 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,491 [exciting music] 491 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,909 Look out, children! 492 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,745 [overlapping screams] 493 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,664 all: Ahhhh! 494 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,333 ♪♪ 495 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,213 Oh, no! 496 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,800 [muffled speech] 497 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,927 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! 498 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,595 You bastards! 499 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,390 [heroic music] 500 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,683 What's going on here? 501 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,226 Sidney Poitier? 502 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270 That's right. I'm Sidney Poitier. 503 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,772 Damn, man, it's nice to meet you. 504 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,775 The Sidney Poitier in my hometown. 505 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,486 Barbra Streisand has found the Triangle of Zinthar? 506 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,989 Yep, she's made the Diamond of Pantheos, all right. 507 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,991 Koora Koo-ra-suki! 508 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,995 ♪ [man singing Japanese] Mega-Poitier... ♪ 509 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:27,709 ♪♪ 510 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,752 Is that really necessary? 511 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,755 [exciting music] 512 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:39,888 ♪♪ 513 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,726 It's over. 514 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,144 She's too strong for them, children. 515 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,062 We'll have to leave town. 516 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,522 Make it go away. 517 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,274 I hate Barbra Streisand! I hate her! 518 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,901 My mom always said there were no monsters, 519 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,402 but there are, aren't there, Chef? 520 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,197 We have to say goodbye to South Park. 521 00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,116 woman: Oh, my God! Help me! 522 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,077 [shrieks] 523 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,996 Am I too late? - Who are you? 524 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,581 Dude! That's Robert Smith of The Cure! 525 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,957 Sweet! - Here, you boys 526 00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,250 hold this walkie. 527 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,460 You can help me find her. 528 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:11,920 You can try, Robert Smith, 529 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,588 but that thing just beat the crap 530 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,590 out of Leonard Maltin and Sidney Poitier! 531 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,592 I have to try. 532 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,303 I can't let Barbara Streisand do this to the entire world. 533 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,347 [shimmering tone] 534 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,307 ♪ [singing Japanese] Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪ 535 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:28,186 ♪♪ 536 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,772 [high-pitched tone] 537 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,735 [howling] 538 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,489 We must tell him that her weak point is the nose. 539 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,867 Robert Smith, hit her nose. Use robot punch! 540 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,455 [electricity crackling] 541 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,459 The Diamond of Pantheos! 542 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,002 She must be powerless now. 543 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,046 Quickly, Robert Smith. She's powerless!! 544 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:59,175 ♪ [singing Japanese] Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪ 545 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,137 [wailing] 546 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,808 [explosion] 547 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,268 He did it! 548 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,645 No more Barbra Streisand ever! 549 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,647 Wow, Robert Smith is the greatest person 550 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,731 that ever lived. 551 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,816 Our savior! 552 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,567 [shimmering tone] 553 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,404 Can I have my walkie-talkie back now, please? 554 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,073 No way. You gave it to us. It's mine now. 555 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,617 All right, I'll Roshambo you for it. 556 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:25,743 Ready? - Huh? 557 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,662 [groaning] 558 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,666 Hey, where's he going? 559 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,334 Goodbye, Robert Smith! 560 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,586 Thank you for your help. Visit us again. 561 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,256 "Disintegration" is the best album ever! 562 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,597 Well, what should we do with the two triangles now? 563 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,057 We've got to get rid of them. 564 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,142 Nobody should have the kind of power 565 00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,935 Barbra Streisand wanted. 566 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,395 Well, at least I have this sweet walkie-talkie 567 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,646 Robert Smith gave me. 568 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:54,856 No! That's my walkie-talkie! 569 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,649 He gave it to me! 570 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,484 Dammit, Cartman, don't you ever learn anything? 571 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:01,237 Come on, Stan, it's mine. I'll Roshambo you for it. 572 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,697 Go to hell, Cartman. 573 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,950 Well, that whole experience sure did suck. 574 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,036 Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with. 575 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,996 But you know, I've learned something today. 576 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,206 I've learned that people who want power, a lot of power, 577 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,666 always end up dead. 578 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,668 Yeah. - Yes, and I've 579 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:16,878 something too. 580 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,463 Robert Smith kicks ass. 581 00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:20,381 [rumbling] 582 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,216 Oh, no! She's back! 583 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,218 Oh, my God! Look! 584 00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,096 [howling] 585 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,349 [together] Aaah! Mecha-Ike!