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00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,112
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,992
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,080
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
11
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,832
You guys! You guys!
12
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Chef is going away.
13
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Going away?
For how long?
14
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Forever.
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00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,966
I'm sorry, boys.
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00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,385
STAN:
Chef said he's been bored,
17
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,929
so he's joining a group
called the Super Adventure Club.
18
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,514
Wow!
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00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,100
Chef, what kind of questions
do you think
20
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,978
adventuring around the world
is gonna answer?!
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00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,190
What's the meaning of life?
Why are we here?
22
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,358
I hope you're making
the right choice.
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I'm gonna miss him.
24
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,237
I'm gonna miss Chef, and I --
25
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and I don't know
how to tell him!
26
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Dude, how are we gonna go on?
27
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,536
Chef was our f-friend.
28
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And we will all miss you, Chef.
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But we know you must do
what your heart tells you.
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[ Music continues ]
31
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,087
- Bye-bye!
- Goodbye!
32
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,172
- So long, Chef!
- So long! Bye, Chef!
33
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,423
Goodbye, Chef!
34
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,884
Have a great time
with the Super Adventure Club!
35
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,302
Goodbye.
36
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,139
- See you later!
- Bye, Chef!
37
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,308
[ Sobbing ]
38
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[ Music continues ]
39
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:48,818
And now part two
of "Life Without Chef."
40
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Draw two cards, fat-ass.
41
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Reverse to you, Jew.
42
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- [ Doorbell rings ]
- I'll get it.
43
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,494
[ Dramatic music plays ]
44
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,371
Hello, there, children!
45
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:01,747
He's back!
46
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,707
- Yeah!
- Yeah! All right!
47
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:06,335
[ Cheers and applause ]
48
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,254
Chef, I can't believe
you're back!
49
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,797
Well, it's true.
50
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,090
But are you back for good?!
51
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,424
That's right.
52
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:15,344
Hey, everybody, Chef's back!
53
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,680
- All right! Yeah!
- Huh? Oh!
54
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,223
Oh, finally!
55
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[All cheering ]
56
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,519
[ Laughter ]
57
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That's great!
That's great!
58
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,856
Wow. It seems like
you had a great time
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00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,566
with the Super Adventure Club,
Chef.
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00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,526
They sound like
really interesting people.
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00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,735
Yeah.
62
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:32,987
But now that you're back here,
63
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,990
does that mean you're not in the
Super Adventure Club anymore?
64
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:37,908
No, no!
65
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,035
Oh, so have you decided
you can still belong
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00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,328
to the Super Adventure Club
67
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,414
but live here
in South Park again?
68
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:44,790
That's right!
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00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,667
Well, it seems like
the Super Adventure Club
70
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:47,960
was just what you needed, Chef.
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00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,587
You must be feeling very happy
72
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,589
that you found a club
to belong to with new friends
73
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but that you can also
live here in South Park
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00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,969
with all your old friends
whom you care for deeply, right?
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00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,929
That's right!
Randy!
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00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,891
Yeah. Yeah!
[ Laughter ]
77
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,101
Well, Chef, you're welcome
to stay here with me
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00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,644
until you buy another house.
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00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,647
Thank you.
Jimbo.
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00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,690
Well, come on, everybody.
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00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,067
I'm sure Chef would like
a little time to get moved in.
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00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,861
That's right!
Thank you!
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00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,654
Goodbye!
Everybody!
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00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,072
- Later!
- Great to have you back!
85
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,449
- Bye-bye!
- See you, Chef!
86
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,367
See you later, Chef!
Bye!
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00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:23,329
Well, I guess we'll see you
in school tomorrow, Chef.
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00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,623
You bet.
Goodbye!
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00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,917
Children!
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Right.
91
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,338
Uh, see ya.
92
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,924
Uh, guys...
93
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,385
did Chef seem a little,
uh, trippy to you?
94
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,307
Well, look.
He said he's happier now.
95
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,059
Maybe he just needs to rest up
a little.
96
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,311
Yeah, I'm sure whatever
that Super Adventure Club does
97
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,063
- is pretty tiring.
- Yeah. Look, whatever.
98
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,397
I'm just glad he's back
for good.
99
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,857
Mrph rm rph.
100
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,901
[ Bell rings ]
101
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,069
It's really weird what he said.
102
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,487
I don't know.
It kind of confused me.
103
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,488
Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!
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00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,782
I can't wait to have
Chef's lunch food again!
105
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,951
Yeah. I hope he makes
his Salisbury steak
106
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:02,868
with buttered noodles!
107
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,912
- You guys, you guys!
- What?
108
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,538
Something's wrong with Chef.
109
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,749
He's saying
some really weird stuff.
110
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Like what?
111
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,963
I think -- I think
he wants to have sex with me.
112
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,464
What?
113
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,049
I got to -- I got to go.
114
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,511
Weirdo.
115
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,346
Hello, there, children!
116
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,472
- Hey, Chef!
- Mrph rm!
117
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,224
- How's it going?
- Good.
118
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,393
Well, how about I meet you boys
after work, and we...
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♪ Make love ♪
120
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,731
Excuse me?
121
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857
Come on, children.
122
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,068
You're my sexual fantasy.
123
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:39,405
Let's all make sweet love.
124
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,284
Chef, a-are you okay?
125
00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:45,411
♪ I want to stick my balls ♪
126
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,955
Inside your rectum.
Kyle.
127
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,166
Dude, what are you saying?
128
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,835
♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪
129
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Your asshole, children.
130
00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:58,757
What?!
131
00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,094
Hi, kids.
I'm Detective Jarvis.
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00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,888
Uh, I need to ask you all
some difficult questions
133
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,474
about your school
cafeteria chef.
134
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,101
This doesn't make any sense!
135
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,687
We have some information
that all this time,
136
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,065
Chef has been, and still is,
a pedophile.
137
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,900
No, he's not.
138
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,652
Uh-huh.
139
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,571
No, he's not.
140
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,656
Yeah.
Yeah, he is so.
141
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,241
What's a pedal file?
142
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,453
Now, we need some testimony
in order to arrest Chef,
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00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:31,040
so I'm gonna use this doll
to ask you kids a few questions.
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00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,877
Did Chef ever touch any of you
here?
145
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:35,836
No!
146
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,172
Okay.
Did he touch you here?
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00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,089
ALL:
No!
148
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,633
Did he ever do this?
149
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,843
How about this?
150
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,219
BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
151
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,472
My Uncle Bud
did that to me once!
152
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:50,351
Did Chef ever try
one of these on for size?
153
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,853
God damn it!
Chef isn't like that!
154
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,396
Something funny is going on
here!
155
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,523
Young man,
will you please pay attention?
156
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,275
This is very important stuff!
157
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,445
Oh!
Ooh.
158
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,655
[ Bell rings ]
159
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,914
Hello, there, children!
160
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:16,335
Chef, the police are asking
questions about you.
161
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,336
Oh, really?
162
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,171
Well, let's all go home and...
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00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,422
♪ Make love ♪
164
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,883
No, Chef, we don't
want to make love to you.
165
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,428
Kenny, how would you like
to sodomize my black ass?!
166
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,596
Chef! Chef!
167
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,764
You need to get out of here
168
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,474
before you get arrested,
all right?!
169
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,644
I specializes in your asshole,
Kyle.
170
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,689
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
171
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,900
Man, I can't believe
all this time
172
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,902
Chef just wanted us for sex.
173
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,946
He didn't want us for sex,
fat-ass!
174
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,781
Something is making him
say those things.
175
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,907
Mrph rm?
176
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,159
Something must have happened
to Chef while he was gone.
177
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,202
Maybe he hit his head
178
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,538
or got stuck in some
quantum time vortex.
179
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,248
Look, he spent
the last three months
180
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,332
with that adventurers' club.
181
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,875
Maybe they know
what happened to him.
182
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,963
Mrph! Rmhmhm rm mrph
rphmrmhmhm rm rmphmhm rm!
183
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:01,797
Yeah!
184
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,507
All right!
Come on, guys!
185
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,427
[ Dramatic music plays ]
186
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:09,930
[ Bird calling ]
187
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,185
Hey, guys. You know what they
call a Jewish woman's boobs?
188
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,311
Joobs.
189
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,689
[ Rope creaking ]
190
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,026
[ Doorbell rings ]
191
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,195
May I help you?
192
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,532
Uh, hi. Can we speak
to the head guy or something?
193
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,075
Right this way.
194
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,872
Now, the upper rim
of Kilimanjaro
195
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,374
should be quite a trek,
and so we'll need to have a --
196
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,584
Excuse me, sir.
197
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,711
These boys wanted to speak
with you.
198
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,297
Ah, yes! Splendid!
Good afternoon, lads!
199
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:46,300
I'm head adventurer
William P. Connelly, Esquire.
200
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,343
Welcome to
the Super Adventure Club!
201
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,261
- Jolly-o!
- Cheers!
202
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,304
- Hello!
- Indeed!
203
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:51,930
Uh, hi.
204
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,765
Our friend joined your club
a while back,
205
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:56,185
and now he wants to molest kids.
206
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,937
What?
207
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,023
Well -- Well, yes, of course!
208
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,358
That's what
the Super Adventure Club does!
209
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,693
Huh?
210
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,237
We travel the world
and have sex with children.
211
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406
Yes.
What else would we do?
212
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,909
Well, we thought
you went exploring
213
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:13,494
and, like, hunting and stuff.
214
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,496
No, no.
That's the Adventure Club.
215
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,080
We're the Super Adventure Club.
216
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:21,001
Next week, we will be heading to
the outer banks of the Amazon,
217
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,294
where we will make camp
218
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,796
and have sex with children
of the Ugani tribe.
219
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,840
Then it's off
to the mighty Himalayas,
220
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,217
where we will climb K2
221
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,844
and molest several Tibetan
children on the east summit.
222
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,262
Dude!
223
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,931
I know!
But it gets even better!
224
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,433
From there, we will kayak
to the fruitful banks
225
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,809
of the Mili River in Africa,
226
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,812
where the secret and mysterious
Hanini people have children
227
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,524
who have never seen
a white man's erect penis.
228
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,734
Of course, we're always looking
for kids to have sex with
229
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,361
on the plane rides
over to these places.
230
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:50,739
So how would you all like to
join the Super Adventure Club?!
231
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,449
No!
232
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,076
No?
233
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,494
Oh, really?
234
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,622
Perhaps I should ask you again.
235
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,499
[ Whistles ]
236
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,335
How would you like to join
the Super Adventure Club?
237
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,087
[ Whistles ]
238
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,880
No.
239
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,425
[ Whistles ]
240
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,802
Dude, what are you doing?
241
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,221
Oh, well.
It doesn't work on everybody.
242
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,639
Well, so long, then.
243
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,015
Just what the hell
is that thing?!
244
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,184
What? What thing?
I don't see anything.
245
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,812
- Ha! I knew it!
- Knew what?
246
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:24,565
The reason Chef has been saying
those terrible things about us
247
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:28,652
is because he's been brainwashed
by this fruity little club!
248
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,780
[ Dramatic music plays ]
249
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,825
Oh, son of a bitch!
250
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,122
Come on, children.
251
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:40,998
Let's all go home and...
252
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,374
♪ Make love ♪
253
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,001
You need to see a psychiatrist,
Chef.
254
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,002
It's for your own good.
255
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,044
I'd just like to...
256
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:46,878
♪ Make love ♪
257
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,046
Up your butt.
258
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,423
Oh, my God!
259
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,049
Mr. Chef, is it?
260
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759
All right.
Come on.
261
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,265
Hello. I'm Dr. Neeland.
What can I do for you today?
262
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267
Hi. Our friend
has been brainwashed
263
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,686
by some fruity little club.
264
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187
Brainwashed?
265
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,106
Yeah, he joined
the Super Adventure Club,
266
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,483
and they convinced him
having sex with kids was okay
267
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,360
with a little thing
that goes: [makes whistling noise].
268
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,863
I thought that club
was for hiking and kayaking.
269
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,114
No, that's the Adventure Club.
270
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,074
The Super Adventure Club
has sex with children.
271
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,326
Oh.
272
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,910
Oh!
That's right. Yeah.
273
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,456
Doctor, do you have...children?
274
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,791
Why, yes.
I have two young boys.
275
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:28,128
Have y'all been sodomizing
your childrens, too?!
276
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,589
You say he's never
been like this before?
277
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,299
No.
Chef has always been super cool.
278
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,134
♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪
279
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,261
The children.
280
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,013
He's pretty brainwashed,
all right.
281
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,348
Worst case I've ever seen.
282
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,390
So what can we do?
283
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,225
I'm afraid
there's no simple answer.
284
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,103
When somebody is brainwashed,
it can take months, even years,
285
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,271
to reverse the process.
286
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,939
But we don't have years!
287
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,275
If Chef keeps this up,
he's gonna go to jail forever!
288
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,861
Tell me -- What was Chef's
favorite thing to do
289
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,238
before it was having sex
with children?
290
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,615
Having sex with women.
291
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,658
Then that's it!
292
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,702
We'd better get your friend to
the Peppermint Hippo right away.
293
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,873
[ Rock music playing,
crowd cheering ]
294
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,500
All right, guys.
Be sure to tip your waitresses.
295
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:07,501
This is a two-for-one.
296
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:10,337
Put your hands together.
This is Monica.
297
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,175
Aw, come on, children.
Let's go home.
298
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,385
This isn't working.
299
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,804
Well, let's give it
some more time, kids.
300
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,848
[ Hoarsely ]
Would you like a dance?
301
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,434
No, thanks. We're trying
to un-brainwash our friend.
302
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,228
Dance?
303
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,772
Anybody want a dance?
304
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,943
Come on, bitch.
Dance.
305
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,319
Up yours, fatty.
306
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,612
Bitch, I'll twist your nuts off.
307
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,114
All right, guys.
How we feeling out there?
308
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,657
We got a featured dancer
coming up next.
309
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,911
Put your hands together
for Spantaneous Bootay.
310
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,580
[ Cheers and applause ]
311
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,544
Come on, guys.
We might as well go.
312
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,799
God damn!
313
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:56,925
Chef, we're leaving.
314
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,177
No, no. Wait.
Let him go.
315
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,931
[ Music continues ]
316
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,684
Come here, sugar.
317
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,313
BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
318
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,359
BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
319
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,740
Wait a minute.
320
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,241
He's remembering!
321
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,869
Children, what have I done?
322
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,704
It's okay, Chef.
Go on. Remember!
323
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,581
♪ I'm gonna -- I'm gonna -- ♪
324
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,000
Come on, Chef.
You can do it!
325
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,212
♪ I'm gonna make love to you,
woman ♪
326
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,424
♪ Gonna lay you down
by the fire ♪
327
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,593
- Yay!
- Mrph rm!
328
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804
Hey, children, everybody!
I'm back!
329
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,890
Ow!
330
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,143
Great shot, William.
Hit him with another.
331
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,686
Oh!
332
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,397
- Chef!
- Mrph!
333
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,941
[ Thunder crashes ]
334
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,693
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
335
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,695
Tally-ho, lads!
336
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,489
I must say
you're starting to become
337
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,741
quite a thorn in my balls.
338
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,117
Where's Chef?
What have you done with him?
339
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,077
He's safe.
340
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,371
He's fasting
in the deprivation room
341
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,791
and being read
the Super Adventure Club manual.
342
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,168
We've got to undo the damage
you've done.
343
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,879
Look, if you want to go around
the world molesting kids,
344
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,298
that's totally fine,
but why do you need Chef?
345
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,967
We don't need him.
He needs us!
346
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,220
Our club offers hope.
347
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,764
You think we go around the world
molesting children
348
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,725
just because it feels really,
really, really, really good?
349
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:29,726
No!
350
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,353
Our club has a message
351
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,314
and a secret that explains
the mysteries of life.
352
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,149
Oh, Jesus.
Here we go.
353
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,400
Very well.
354
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,361
I'm now going to tell you
the secret
355
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,779
of the Super Adventure Club.
356
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,030
We don't want to hear it.
357
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,491
You see, the Super
Adventure Club was founded
358
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,286
by the greatest explorer of
all time, William P. Phineas!
359
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,664
Phineas climbed
the highest peaks,
360
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,499
tamed the mightiest rivers!
361
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,167
But every time he got somewhere,
362
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,379
he realized that other explorers
had beat him to it.
363
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,422
Phineas was depressed
until he realized
364
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,133
that if he couldn't be
the first to discover places,
365
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:05,136
he could be the first to have
sex with the native children
366
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,805
that inhabited those areas!
367
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,016
Phineas quickly went down in
history books as the first man
368
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,936
to have sex with
the aborigine children at Uluru
369
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,771
and the first explorer to bugger
370
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,232
all the underage mountain folk
of Nepal!
371
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,860
But now
the most wonderful part.
372
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,195
You see, after having sex
with all those children,
373
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,282
Phineas realized that molesting
all those kids
374
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,617
had made him immortal.
375
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,743
Immortal?
376
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,412
CONNELLY:
He discovered that children
377
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,622
have things called marlocs
in their bodies.
378
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,833
And when an adult has sex
with a child,
379
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,419
the marlocs implode, feeding
the adult's receptor cavity
380
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,588
with energy that causes
immortality.
381
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,631
So sayeth the ruler of Bethos.
382
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,760
Phineas traveled the world,
loving many, many children.
383
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,263
And he lived for eternity,
384
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,850
until he was hit by a train
in 1892.
385
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,395
Do you realize how retarded
that sounds?
386
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,479
Is it any more retarded
387
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,524
than the idea of God sending
His son to die for our sins?
388
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,234
Is it any more retarded
than Buddha
389
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,278
sitting beneath a tree
for 20 years?!
390
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,947
Yeah.
It's way, way more retarded.
391
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,159
Well, now that you know
our club's secrets...
392
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,703
it appears you leave us
no choice.
393
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,332
I'm afraid we're going to
have to...
394
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,083
ask you to leave.
395
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,836
[ Dramatic music plays ]
396
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,341
We're not leaving without Chef.
397
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,092
If you choose not to leave,
398
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,803
then I'm afraid we're
just going to have to...
399
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,598
call security
and make you leave.
400
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,559
[ Dramatic music plays ]
401
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,187
You'll be led out by security,
402
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,605
and it will be
super embarrassing,
403
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,190
and everyone here will see.
404
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,400
[ Laughs evilly ]
405
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,240
[ Thunder crashes ]
406
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,993
[ Bird calling ]
407
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,287
You know how, like,
when you want people to leave,
408
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,790
but they won't leave,
it's really frustrating?
409
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,875
We're not going anywhere
without Chef!
410
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,586
Cool people leave before they've
overstayed their welcome.
411
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,091
You petulant fools!
412
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,426
You just had to push it,
didn't you?
413
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,846
You don't realize
who you're dealing with here.
414
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,390
Security!
415
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,186
Take these boys to the door.
416
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,729
All right.
Come on, kids.
417
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,064
No! Hey!
418
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,567
Ha ha! Look, they're being
led out by security! Ha ha!
419
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,860
No.
You don't understand.
420
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,154
They've got our friend
in a deprivation room!
421
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,782
This is their house,
and they don't want you here.
422
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,451
- [ Grunts ]
- Aah!
423
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,286
Sorry, dude,
but this fruity little club
424
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,372
isn't taking our friend!
425
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,334
And sex with Eskimo children
requires some special skill.
426
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,961
Chef, come on!
427
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,963
Children!
- Get out of here!
428
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,257
Kenny, spin blossom nut squash!
429
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,883
Mrph!
- Ow!
430
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:49,926
Come on, Chef!
431
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,220
I can't break these locks.
432
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,555
Here!
433
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,850
Come on, Chef!
434
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,435
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
435
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,895
What the -- Impossible!
436
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,772
I made them leave!
437
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,274
Get outside!
438
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900
Stop them!
439
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,987
- [ Screaming ]
- Children, run!
440
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,450
Stop!
441
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,785
We made it!
442
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:20,206
Don't you remember why you left
South Park in the first place?
443
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,584
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
444
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,919
- Chef, come on!
- You sought adventure!
445
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,547
And why do people seek
adventure?
446
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:31,176
Because their lives
have become dull and empty!
447
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,844
Yeah, he wanted adventure,
448
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:36,097
not a bunch of ridiculous
bullcrap, right, Chef?!
449
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,392
Chef?
450
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,437
Don't forget
all your training, Chef.
451
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,983
Stay with us, and your life
will be grand and eternal!
452
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:50,028
Chef...we love you.
453
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,408
I'm sorry, children.
454
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,661
No! Chef! They've filled
your head with lies.
455
00:17:58,787 --> 00:17:59,829
Can't you see that?
456
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:02,082
Get the hell out of here,
children!
457
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,291
Yes.
458
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,628
Looks like our fruity
little club is safe after all.
459
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,671
[ Thunder crashes ]
460
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,131
Aah!
461
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,216
No!
462
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:13,635
- Chef!
- Chef!
463
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,346
Aah!
464
00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,597
[ Grunts ]
465
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,724
Ow! Oh!
Aah!
466
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,934
Oh!
Damn it!
467
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,644
[ Grunts ]
Oh!
468
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,561
No!
469
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,979
[ Coughs ]
470
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,023
[ Mountain lion roars ]
471
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,066
A mountain lion!
472
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,068
[ Screaming ]
473
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,904
We can't lose another member!
Shoot it!
474
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,239
Aah!
475
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,366
I right missed!
476
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,951
Aah!
477
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,036
- Chef!
- [ Bear growling ]
478
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,287
A grizzly bear!
479
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:57,262
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
480
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,518
Oh, my God.
481
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,270
They killed Chef.
482
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,938
You bastards!
483
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,315
You bastards!
484
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,692
Pity.
485
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,528
He would have made
an excellent child molester.
486
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,781
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
487
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,578
Maybe -- Maybe he's still okay.
488
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,745
No.
Really!
489
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,998
They say the last thing you do
before you die is crap your --
490
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,458
[ Farts ]
491
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,044
Oh, never mind.
492
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,338
Come on.
Let's go.
493
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,552
[ Music continues ]
494
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:54,736
We're all here today
495
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,906
because Chef has been such
an important part of our lives.
496
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,743
A lot of us don't agree
with the choices Chef has made
497
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,286
in the past few days.
498
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,289
Some of us feel hurt
and confused
499
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,291
that he seemed to turn his back
on us.
500
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,044
But we can't let the events
of the last week
501
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:14,339
take away the memories
of how much Chef made us smile.
502
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,633
I'm gonna remember Chef
as the jolly old guy
503
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,051
who always broke into song.
504
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,220
I'm gonna remember Chef
505
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,472
as the guy who gave us advice
to live by.
506
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,518
So, you see, we shouldn't be
mad at Chef for leaving us.
507
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,604
We should be mad
at that fruity little club
508
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,690
for scrambling his brains.
509
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,692
- [ Music continues ]
- Yeah.
510
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069
He's right.
511
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,075
And in the end,
I know that somewhere out there,
512
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,703
there's the good part of Chef
that's still alive in us all.
513
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,458
[ Dramatic music plays ]
514
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,418
Is it working?
Is it working?!
515
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,795
[ Electricity crackles ]
516
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,296
Yes.
We've got a pulse!
517
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,257
Get him in the ICU suit!
Hurry!
518
00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,591
[ Whirring ]
519
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,511
That's done it! Good!
Raise him up!
520
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,180
[ Dramatic music plays ]
521
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,438
[ Mechanical breathing ]
522
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,400
Chef, can you hear me?
523
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,943
Say something.
524
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,154
[ Mechanically ]
Hello, there, children.
525
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:25,159
How would you like
some Salisbury steak?
526
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,744
Yes. Go on.
527
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,788
And for dessert,
528
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,665
how would you children like
to suck
529
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,085
on my chocolate salty balls?
530
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,213
Oh.
You mean like a chocolate candy?
531
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,383
No.
I mean my balls.
532
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,592
Yes!
533
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,012
Yes!
[ Laughs evilly ]