﻿1
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪

2
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

3
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♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

4
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

5
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

6
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

7
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

8
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Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!

9
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

10
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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"But the Bubble Gum Prince
wasn't afraid."

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"He knew that
the Land of Chocolate was safe

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forever and ever."

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Good night, my little angel.

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- Stan!
- What?! What?!

16
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Get up!
Get your shoes on!

17
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We've got to get out of here!
Move!

18
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Take this!

19
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We've got to bring
all the water we can!

20
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Shelly, go get my gun!

21
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What's going on, Dad?

22
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Just get the gun!

23
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All right.
Come on!

24
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[All screaming ]

25
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[ Groaning ]

26
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WOMAN:
Look out!

27
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Kyle, what the hell
is going on this time?

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I have no idea!

29
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[ Engine revs ]

30
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[ Screams ]

31
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Oh! Oh!

32
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MAN: Take cover in
the community center again!

33
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All right! Everyone get in
and get a seal on that door!

34
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Oh, my God, Stephen!
We've left Butters!

35
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We can't go back out there,
Linda!

36
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It's too late for him!

37
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Dad?
Dad, what the hell is going on?!

38
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[ Sighs ]
A cartoon.

39
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A cartoon is about to air
on American television with...

40
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with the Muslim prophet
Muhammad as a character.

41
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So?

42
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So?! Stanley, Muhammad is sacred
to the Muslim people.

43
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Ever since those cartoons in
Denmark, the rules have changed.

44
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Nobody shows an image
of Muhammad anymore.

45
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Which cartoon is it?

46
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What cartoon would be
so insensitive

47
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as to have Muhammad
as a character?

48
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Who do you think?

49
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The cartoon that's
always pushing buttons

50
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with their careless
toilet humor.

51
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"Family Guy"!

52
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ALL:
Aww!

53
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How could "Family Guy" do that?

54
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Why would "Family Guy"
so blatantly insult Muslims?

55
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Because "Family Guy"
doesn't care who they insult!

56
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They only care about
their precious money!

57
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Oh, come on, people.

58
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You think anybody's gonna be
that pissed off about a cartoon?

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- We've got the TV working!
- [ Static ]

60
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Once again, a cartoon depicting
the Muslim prophet Muhammad

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is set to air tonight
on "Family Guy."

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Oh, Randy, hold me.

63
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The news has already sparked
a shock wave of protests

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throughout the Muslim world.

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All over the Middle East,

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Muslims are burning
American flags

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and "Family Guy" posters.

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Muslim terrorists al-Zawahiri
made this statement.

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So what happens now?

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We stay here through the night.

71
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Wait it out
to see if they do anything.

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If we're still alive
in the morning...

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then we'll know we're not dead.

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[ Birds chirping ]

75
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It's okay!

76
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We're alive?

77
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We're alive!

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Everyone!
Everyone listen!

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Fox network censored the image
of Muhammad at the last minute!

80
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- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, good.

81
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Well, it looks like
we dodged a bullet.

82
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They censored the image
of Muhammad? How?

83
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I TiVo every episode.

84
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We can go to my house
and see what they did.

85
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- Okay, you guys. Check it out.
- [ Popping ]

86
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You TiVo every episode
of "Family Guy"?

87
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Dude, it's a good show.

88
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Yeah. Lots of people
like "Family Guy."

89
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Ugh.

90
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Peter, I can't believe
you invited

91
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your old high school sweetheart
over for dinner!

92
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You think <i>that's</i> bad?

93
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Remember when I auditioned
to be David Hasselhoff's car?

94
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Hey, there, Knight Rider!

95
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After those bad guys, KITT.

96
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[ Humming ]

97
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Yeah, but, Dad,
why would you invite

98
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an ex-girlfriend to dinner?

99
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Perhaps he wants to make
our mother nervous.

100
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Nervous?!

101
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Like when I had to sell pancakes
to the school soccer captain?

102
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[ Doorbell rings ]

103
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Pancakes for you, Captain.

104
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I'll be the Captain,
and you be Tennille!

105
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[ Down-tempo introduction
plays ]

106
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♪ Love will keep us together ♪

107
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- [ Laughs ]
- Ugh.

108
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But, Peter, I don't want
to cook dinner

109
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for your ex-girlfriend.

110
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Well, maybe we can
just have tea.

111
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You mean like the time
you had tea with Muhammad,

112
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the prophet
of the Muslim faith?

113
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Come on, Muhammad.
Let's get some tea.

114
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[ Birds chirping ]

115
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Try my Mr. T Tea.

116
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Boy, was that ever weird.

117
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Anyway, I can't believe
I invited

118
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my old sweetheart to dinner,
huh?

119
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That's it?
That's all they did?

120
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Oh, man.
That's not cool.

121
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Seriously, that is not cool.

122
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What?
What's the big deal?

123
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What's the big deal?

124
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You guys, they just made fun
of the religion

125
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of an entire group of people.

126
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You guys think that's okay?

127
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Do you care at all
about people's feelings?

128
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,204
Since when do you care about

129
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being sensitive to people's
religion, Cartman?

130
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Yeah, you rip on people's
religion all the time!

131
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That's different!
I'm just a little boy.

132
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That's a cartoon.
Millions of people watch it.

133
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,422
How would you feel, Kyle,

134
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if there was a cartoon
on television

135
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that made fun of Jews
all the time, huh?

136
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,844
Uh...

137
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I'm telling you guys,
it's wrong.

138
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It's wrong!

139
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It's wro-o-o-o-ng!

140
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,982
Kyle? Kyle!
What are you watching?!

141
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,901
Hey, Brian,
this is like the time

142
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,694
I got a job as a carrot cake.

143
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,488
Aah!
It's "Family Guy"!

144
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,114
Quick, Gerald!
Do something!

145
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Hyah!

146
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,035
- Gaah! Aah!
- [ Electricity crackling ]

147
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,329
Dad! Dad!
Jesus Christ!

148
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[ Breathing heavily ]
It's okay.

149
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:13,707
It's dead.

150
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,793
You boys know you're
not supposed to watch

151
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,044
that careless show!

152
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,337
Mom, it was nothing.

153
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,422
Muhammad just stood there
and then drank some tea.

154
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,591
You boys don't understand
anything!

155
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It's obvious that you all need
Muslim sensitivity training!

156
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:30,182
Welcome to Muslim
sensitivity training.

157
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,810
It is important
for us to understand

158
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why the Muslims feel
the way they do

159
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,315
and why we can never show
an image of Muhammad.

160
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,776
No, Muslims can't show
an image of Muhammad.

161
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,611
Kyle, you're not being
very sensitive.

162
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,404
Yeah, Kyle.

163
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,240
Maybe you think this is funny,
but the rest of us don't.

164
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,826
Let's all look at
why Muslims are upset.

165
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,161
First of all,
in the Muslim religion,

166
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,997
you're not allowed to have what?

167
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,041
Sex!
Good.

168
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,169
There's no sex until marriage
in the Muslim world.

169
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,839
Now, this would be fine, except
that in the Muslim religion

170
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,549
you also can't...

171
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,426
Anybody?

172
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,386
Jack off.
Okay?

173
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,597
Jacking it is strictly forbidden
in the Muslim religion.

174
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,559
And what do we know
about the places Muslims live?

175
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,602
They live in...

176
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,230
Good.
Sand.

177
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,566
Now, put yourself
in the shoes of a Muslim.

178
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,025
It's Friday night,

179
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:25,028
but you can't have sex,
and you can't jack off.

180
00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,280
There's sand in your eyes

181
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,739
and probably in the crack
of your ass,

182
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,199
and then some cartoon
comes along,

183
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,285
from a country where people
<i>a re</i> getting laid,

184
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,744
and mocks your prophet.

185
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,581
Well, you know what?
I'd be pretty pissed off, too!

186
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,875
Mrs. Garrison,
that is ignorant and racist!

187
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543
Muslims are mad
because of "Family Guy,"

188
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,961
not because they can't jack off.

189
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,087
Right, Wendy?

190
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,380
Yeah.

191
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,508
MR. MACKEY: Attention, students,
proceed to the school gymnasium

192
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,428
immediately for
an emergency announcement!

193
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,805
What the hell is going on now?

194
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,515
[ Indistinct conversations ]

195
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,934
Shh!
Quiet, students! Quiet!

196
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,728
Once again,
we have just learned

197
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,355
that the "Family Guy" episode
featuring Muhammad

198
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,066
was only part one
of a two-parter!

199
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,569
And part two is going to air
next week

200
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,738
with Muhammad uncensored.

201
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,823
- What?
- Why would they...

202
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,493
Fox Studios claims that
the "Family Guy" writing staff

203
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,829
has demanded the Muhammad
character be seen in full view.

204
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,706
The head of Fox had this to say.

205
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,875
"Family Guy"
is our biggest show.

206
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,712
If they insist we don't censor
their work, then we -- we can't!

207
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,923
"Family Guy"!

208
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,841
I damn you to hell!

209
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719
MAN: Once again, bitter riots
have started in the Middle East,

210
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,471
this time even more massive.

211
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,933
And terrorist leader al-Zawahiri
has issued a threat.

212
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,577
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Retaliation.

213
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,121
Oh, my God, m'kay.

214
00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:00,290
[ Bell rings ]

215
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,709
Goddamn "Family Guy."

216
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,378
Now they're just
provoking people.

217
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,046
It's like they <i>want</i> a holy war.

218
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,798
Does this mean we don't
have school all week?

219
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,716
You guys, this is serious!

220
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,802
- We have to do something.
- Mrph rmh?

221
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,887
We have to go to Fox network
in L.A.

222
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,057
We have to go and...
try to get that episode pulled.

223
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,767
You guys with me?

224
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,851
Dude, we can't go anywhere.

225
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,603
They've shut down the airports
and the buses.

226
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,397
Then we'll ride our Big Wheels!

227
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,941
- To Los Angeles?
- If that's what it takes, yes!

228
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,276
We have to talk to the network.

229
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,528
The "Family Guy" writers
aren't gonna back down!

230
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,154
Well, good for them!
They shouldn't!

231
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,239
The writers are standing up

232
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,074
and saying they aren't
going to be intimidated.

233
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,242
Intimidated?

234
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,827
Is that what you think
this is about, Kyle?

235
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,745
All right, dude. What the hell
has gotten into you?

236
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,163
I don't trust for one second

237
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,666
that your sudden concern
for the Muslim people is real.

238
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,750
All right.
Fine, Kyle.

239
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,377
Forget the Muslim faith
for a minute.

240
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,878
People can get hurt.

241
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,505
If 10 people die
because "Family Guy"

242
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,173
just had to have
their little joke,

243
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,508
will you still think it's funny?

244
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,218
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

245
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,054
What if a hundred people die?
Will it be funny then, Kyle?

246
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,767
I'm going to Los Angeles,
and I'm gonna do whatever I can

247
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,936
to get that episode pulled
before this gets out of hand.

248
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,480
Somebody has to speak
for the Muslim people.

249
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,524
Somebody has to speak
for what's right.

250
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,033
[ Insects chirping ]

251
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,496
Kyle! Kyle, wake up!
We have to go!

252
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,957
The terrorists are attacking!

253
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,626
[All screaming ]

254
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,294
Dad, are you sure this time?

255
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,670
This isn't a joke, Kyle.

256
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,131
Bombs have already gone off
in six cities!

257
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,549
- No!
- Wait a minute!

258
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,426
- Where's Ike?!
- He was just here!

259
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,094
- Ike!
- Ike!

260
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,221
[ Crowd screaming ]

261
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,098
Ike?!
Ike!

262
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,099
Ike!

263
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,477
Ice cream!

264
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,437
I want chocolate!

265
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,648
Ike, this way!

266
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,193
Ike!

267
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,154
Kyle!

268
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,323
No!

269
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,866
[ Gasps ]

270
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,951
[ Breathing heavily ]

271
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,917
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

272
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,013
You come to try and stop me?

273
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,599
It isn't gonna work.

274
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,101
I didn't come to stop you.

275
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,937
I-I think you're right, Cartman.

276
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,648
I want to help you get
the "Family Guy" episode pulled.

277
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,566
[ Music continues ]

278
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,361
Yeah. Well, I don't need
a partner on this.

279
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,239
Especially one
who doesn't trust me.

280
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,490
Look, Cartman.

281
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,908
I don't know what's gotten
into you,

282
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,285
but I think it's pretty amazing.

283
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,537
And I think it's real.

284
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,957
You have to understand why
I didn't believe you before.

285
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,877
Yeah, I do understand, Kyle.

286
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,338
I've been doing the wrong things
for a long time,

287
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,757
doing things
for my own selfish reasons.

288
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,385
I just want to do something
right, you know?

289
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,303
Just this one time.

290
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,764
It's a long trip, dude.
You're gonna need help.

291
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,559
We can try and get
the episode pulled together.

292
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,061
You know, we might not
even make it into the studio.

293
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,229
I know.

294
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:13,316
But just like you...
I feel like I have to try.

295
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,527
People <i>can</i> really get hurt.

296
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,446
And a joke just isn't worth
that.

297
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,489
So what made you change
your mind?

298
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,410
I got some sound advice
from an old friend.

299
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,331
Well, Kyle,
we'd better get going.

300
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,458
Yeah!

301
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,794
[ Dramatic music plays ]

302
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:35,881
You set?

303
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,424
I'm set.
Let's do this!

304
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,550
All right!
Let's roll!

305
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,681
[ Indistinct shouting ]

306
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,225
People!
People, quiet, please!

307
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,769
We must not panic.

308
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,228
Well, what are we gonna do,
Mayor?

309
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,482
Part two of the "Family Guy"
episode airs in six days!

310
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,610
I believe that Professor Thomas
from the university

311
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,278
has come up with a solution.

312
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,489
Thank you, Mayor.

313
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,823
Now, look, everyone.

314
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,493
Muslim terrorists and extremists
are threatening us

315
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,244
for what "Family Guy"
is going to do

316
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,538
because they've wrongly
grouped us together.

317
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,500
Our only hope is to make
the Muslim extremists know

318
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,252
that we had no part
in the Muhammad episode,

319
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,004
that even though
the episode aired,

320
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,965
we didn't watch it,
we didn't hear it,

321
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,092
and we didn't talk about it.

322
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,427
So how do we do that?

323
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:27,057
We bury our heads...in sand.

324
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,061
We take 20 to 25 dump trucks,

325
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,771
fill them with sand
from Monarch Lake,

326
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,190
and then dump the sand
along South Park Avenue.

327
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,108
By using approximately
18 dozen shovels,

328
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,110
we could each dig a hole
in the sand,

329
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,362
stick our heads in the holes,

330
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,697
and then have the person
to our left bury them.

331
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,658
If we can manage
to get every person's head

332
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,992
buried deep, deep in sand

333
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,078
before the Muhammad episode
airs,

334
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,955
we could avoid looking
like we're responsible

335
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,456
for any part of this at all.

336
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,918
No. No. Wait a minute.
That's ridiculous.

337
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,879
Look. What we need to do
is just the opposite.

338
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,548
Freedom of speech is at stake
here.

339
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,757
Don't you all see?

340
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,802
If anything, we should all
make cartoons of Muhammad

341
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,346
and show the terrorists
and the extremists

342
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,348
that we are all united
in the belief

343
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,142
that every person has a right
to say what they want.

344
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,312
Look, people, it's...
it's been real easy for us

345
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,189
to stand up
for free speech lately.

346
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,440
For the past few decades,

347
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,360
we haven't had to risk anything
to defend it.

348
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,821
But those times
are going to come.

349
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031
And one of those times
is right now.

350
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:29,536
And if we aren't willing
to risk what we have,

351
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,831
then we just believe
in free speech,

352
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,292
but we don't defend it.

353
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,378
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

354
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,714
I like the sand idea.

355
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:41,840
Yeah.
Me too.

356
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,009
Yeah. The sand thing
sounds a lot simpler.

357
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,636
- Let's do the sand thing.
- Yeah. Let's do the sand thing.

358
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,306
We're gonna need eight dozen
shovels and 16 tons of sand!

359
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,099
Let's move, people!

360
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,314
We've got six days
to make it to Los Angeles.

361
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,815
If we keep our stops
to a minimum,

362
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,901
we should be able to get
the episode pulled just in time.

363
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,278
Yes, and in just a few weeks
from now,

364
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,072
"Family Guy" will be
off the air forever!

365
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,616
Off the air?

366
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,783
But we're just going to try

367
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,327
to get the Muhammad episode
pulled.

368
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,203
It's simple television
economics, Kyle.

369
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,705
All it takes to kill a show
forever

370
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,540
is get one episode pulled.

371
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,334
If we convince the network
to pull this episode

372
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,585
for the sake of Muslims,

373
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,004
the Catholics can demand a show
they don't like get pulled.

374
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,505
And then people
with disabilities can demand

375
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,925
another show get pulled,
and so on and so on,

376
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,010
until "Family Guy" is no more.

377
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,179
It's exactly what happened
to "Laverne & Shirley."

378
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,016
- Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute!
- [ Tires screech ]

379
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,434
This isn't what I signed up for!

380
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:35,852
I like "Family Guy."

381
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812
Why do we have to get it
off the air forever?

382
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,148
Because they --
they made f-fun of Muslims,

383
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,274
and -- and that's wrong.

384
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,276
But that doesn't mean
it has to go off the air!

385
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,361
You should like that show.

386
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,321
Your sense of humor
is just like "Family Guy."

387
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,781
[ Dramatic music plays ]

388
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,951
Don't you ever, <i>ever</i>
compare me to "Family Guy."

389
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,118
You hear me, Kyle?!

390
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,828
Compare me to "Family Guy"
again,

391
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,165
and so help me,
I will kill you where you stand.

392
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,088
You unbelievable son of a bitch.

393
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,965
You never cared about
the Muslim religion

394
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,092
or the safety
of people in America.

395
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219
You just want "Family Guy"
off the air.

396
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,388
Do you have any idea
what it's like?

397
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,555
Everywhere I go --

398
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,724
"Hey, Cartman, you must like
'Family Guy,' right?"

399
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,851
"Your sense of humor reminds me
of 'Family Guy,' Cartman."

400
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,771
I am <i>nothing</i> like "Family Guy."

401
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,023
When I make jokes,
they are inherent to a story,

402
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,858
deep situational
and emotional jokes

403
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,986
based on what is relevant
and has a point,

404
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,821
not just one random,
interchangeable joke

405
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,030
after another!

406
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,782
What are you talking about?

407
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,992
You don't understand!

408
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,537
I can't believe I let you
scare me into taking your side.

409
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,498
You used fear to make me
stop believing in free speech.

410
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,876
Well, I guess you won't
be helping me now.

411
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,336
No biggie.

412
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,505
I don't need you
to get the episode pulled.

413
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:46,256
No.

414
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,550
I am not letting you go
to that television studio

415
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,219
and pretend to care
about safety and sensitivity

416
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,179
to get a show you don't like
off the air!

417
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,265
Well, then, Kyle, I guess --

418
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,808
Oh, my God.
Is that Tim McGraw?

419
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,184
What?
[ Grunts ]

420
00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,811
[ Dramatic music plays ]

421
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,771
Cartman!

422
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,109
[ Up-tempo music plays ]

423
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,488
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Tires screeching ]

424
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,453
Kyle, stop it!

425
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,635
[ Music continues ]

426
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,221
[ Tires screeching ]

427
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,937
[ Horn blares ]

428
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,898
- Holy crap!
- Aah!

429
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,900
[ Horn blares ]

430
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,615
[ Siren wailing ]

431
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,288
Stay on 'em!

432
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,960
[ Tires screeching ]

433
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,463
Jesus, Mary!

434
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,728
If you have children, be sure
to bury their heads in the sand

435
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,438
before you bury your own.

436
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819
Dad, I don't want to bury
my head in the sand.

437
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,238
It's the best way, Stanley.
Did you eat your Fruit Roll-up?

438
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,155
Yeah.

439
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,740
Make sure your snorkel
is working.

440
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,284
All right.
Now get your head in the hole.

441
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,661
Dad, this is stupid.

442
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,454
Stanley, there's no time
for your immaturity!

443
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,664
Do it!

444
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,751
All right, Sharon.
Now do me.

445
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,258
Professor, we all
just thought of something.

446
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,301
If everyone has
their head buried

447
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,137
by the person standing
to their left,

448
00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,557
then who's gonna bury
the last person's head?

449
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,810
Yes, I'm afraid one person
is going to have to be last

450
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:07,355
and...not have his head
in the sand.

451
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,191
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

452
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,151
I'll do it.

453
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,443
Dylan, no!

454
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,280
You realize by not burying
your head in sand,

455
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,241
you'll appear to be a part
of the "Family Guy" audience.

456
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,701
Yes.
I know.

457
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,161
Dylan, please!
You can't!

458
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,121
Somebody has to do it, Sarah!

459
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,707
You run along now and you
get your head in the sand.

460
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,917
I'll be all right.

461
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,919
[ Sobbing ]

462
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,796
You have to understand.

463
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,131
I'm all she has.

464
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,802
Who are those people?

465
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,138
[ Up-tempo music plays ]

466
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,198
No!

467
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,700
[ Tires screeching ]

468
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,368
[ Screams ]

469
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,830
Aah!

470
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,591
[ Grunts ]

471
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,094
[ Laughs ]
So long, Kyle!

472
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,764
You son of a bitch!
I won't let you win!

473
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765
You hear me?!

474
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,935
Suck my balls, Kyle!

475
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,312
[ Sobs ]

476
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,898
[ Screams ]

477
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,108
[ Dramatic music plays ]

478
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,407
Are you the network president?

479
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,742
Yes, Mr. President.

480
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:46,371
We need to discuss this "Family
Guy" episode, Mr. President.

481
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,289
Mr. President,
my hands are tied.

482
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,334
The "Family Guy" writers insist
I don't censor Muhammad.

483
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,254
But, Mr. President, this is
a matter of national security.

484
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,964
They must be reasoned with.

485
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,590
Mr. President...

486
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,926
there's something about
the "Family Guy" writing staff

487
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,262
I think you should know.

488
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,722
[ Music continues ]

489
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,141
MAN:
Next week on "South Park"...

490
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,143
the race continues.

491
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,813
Cartman reaches
the "Family Guy" studio

492
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,147
and learns the shocking secret

493
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,400
behind the "Family Guy"
writing staff...

494
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,610
This explains everything.

495
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,488
MAN:...as an entire nation
buries its head in sand...

496
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,240
The idea has swept the nation.

497
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,076
But where will we find
enough sand for everyone?

498
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,788
MAN:...and the battle between
good and evil is finally waged.

499
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,248
Kyle, quit it!

500
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,457
Stop it, Kyle!

501
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:34,460
MAN: Will the cartoon be allowed
to appear uncensored?

502
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,462
Will "Family Guy" be destroyed?

503
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,424
Will television executives
fight for free speech,

504
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,467
or will Comedy Central puss out?

505
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,970
Tune in to see part two
of "Family Guy,"

506
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,722
next week on "South Park."

