1
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,112
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,950
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:36,954
[ Dramatic music plays ]
11
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,170
CARTMAN: Oh, dude.
I just took the biggest crap!
12
00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:45,838
Hey, where are you guys?
13
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,215
STAN:
We're over here by the cart!
14
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,593
Okay.
I'm back.
15
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,720
Dude, we've been waiting
forever!
16
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,889
Well, I'm sorry.
I had to take a dump!
17
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,182
KYLE:
If you didn't eat so much,
18
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,184
you wouldn't have diarrhea
all the time, fat-ass.
19
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,770
Hey, I don't need to take
any lip from a frickin' girl!
20
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,438
KYLE:
Mrph rmhmhm rm rmph.
21
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,440
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Chuckles ] Totally!
22
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,068
Come on. We have to finish
the quest in Stonehaven.
23
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,695
STAN'S DAD:
Stan? Stan?
24
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,363
Hang on, guys.
My dad wants something.
25
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,033
- Stan!
- What?!
26
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,160
You've been on your computer
all weekend.
27
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,537
Shouldn't you go out
and socialize with your friends?
28
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,372
I am socializing, r-tard.
29
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,417
I'm logged on to an MMORPG with
people from all over the world
30
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:26,253
and getting XP with my party
using TeamSpeak.
31
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,758
I'm not an r-tard.
32
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,886
All right.
Sorry, guys.
33
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:34,929
So, where to now?
34
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,722
KYLE:
See where I am? It's this way.
35
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,015
CARTMAN:
Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
36
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,850
Right-click on me to follow.
37
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,687
I am the mightiest dwarf
in all of Azeroth!
38
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,898
Wow! Look at all these people
playing right now!
39
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,024
Yeah.
It's bullcrap.
40
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,360
I'll bet half of these people
are Koreans.
41
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,862
Oh, crap!
It's that guy again!
42
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,657
Who is this?
43
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,367
STAN: This is the guy
that kept killing us last night
44
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,701
after you went to bed!
45
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,537
CARTMAN:
Get out of here, asshole!
46
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,205
He's a way higher level than us.
It isn't fair.
47
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,289
KYLE:
It's all right.
48
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,250
He can't kill us
unless we agree to duel.
49
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,336
[ Groans ]
50
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,672
Oh, my God!
He killed Kenny!
51
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,215
You bastard!
52
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,258
[ Grunts ]
53
00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:13,717
[ Groans ]
54
00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,886
[ Grunts ]
55
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,596
Don't you
have better things to do
56
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,140
than going online
killing people?!
57
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,727
No! I don't want to have to
start over at the graveyard! No!
58
00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,229
[ Groans ]
59
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,691
That son of a bitch!
60
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,109
Who is that guy?
61
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,155
Whoever he is,
he is one tough badass.
62
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,158
[ Dramatic music playing ]
63
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,745
[ Telephone ringing ]
64
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,455
"World of Warcraft"
support line.
65
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,541
Yeah. We bought your game
and play it online.
66
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,625
But every time we log in,
67
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,127
some other player comes in
and kills us.
68
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,171
Oh.
That shouldn't happen.
69
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,423
We designed the game so that
players have to agree to a duel
70
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,757
before they can kill each other.
71
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,259
Yeah. Well, this guy
does it anyways!
72
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,594
He's a goddamn butthole!
73
00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,137
Really?
That's odd.
74
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,764
More people calling in about
their characters getting killed.
75
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:01,765
Oh, no.
76
00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:04,101
Well, we'll certainly keep
a lookout for that player
77
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,728
and ban him from the network.
78
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,605
Better tell the guys upstairs.
79
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,734
Fellow board members,
we have a problem.
80
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,611
Somebody in
the World of Warcraft
81
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:16,238
is ignoring the world's rules
82
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,700
and is going around
killing innocent players.
83
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,328
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Why kill innocent players?
84
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,997
The game is about
finishing quests.
85
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,249
We've got to delete him
from the servers.
86
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,375
We can't.
87
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,668
Whoever this player is,
88
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,004
he's played "World of Warcraft"
so much
89
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,174
that he has reached a level
we thought unreachable.
90
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,927
He is actually able to kill
our admins,
91
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,179
and he grows stronger every day.
92
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,889
Jesus.
93
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,432
I've got to get home!
94
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,101
My kids are playing
"World of Warcraft" right now!
95
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:50,189
Jim, your kids' characters
are already dead.
96
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,274
No.
97
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068
No.
98
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,279
They just started playing!
99
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,698
What kind of person
would do this?
100
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,492
Only one kind.
101
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,286
Whoever this person is, he has
played "World of Warcraft"
102
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,540
nearly every hour of every day
for the past year and a half.
103
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:12,711
Gentlemen, we are dealing with
someone here who...
104
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,005
has absolutely no life.
105
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,049
[ Dramatic music plays ]
106
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,302
How do you kill
that which has no life?
107
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,269
Randy, you working on
that sediment analysis?
108
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,311
Not now, Nelson.
109
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,063
I just joined a big party
of night elves,
110
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,857
and we're gonna explore
the Tower of Azora together.
111
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,359
Is that a computer game?
112
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,987
No, r-tard.
It's an MMORPG.
113
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,530
These are real people
I'm playing with.
114
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,032
See?
I'm a hunter, level 2.
115
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,659
I can chat
with all these other people.
116
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,494
I can even wave to this guy.
See?
117
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,704
Hello!
118
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,832
In the outside world,
I'm a simple geologist.
119
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,375
But in here...
120
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,670
I am Falcorn,
defender of the alliance.
121
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,547
I have braved
the Fargodeep Mine,
122
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,299
defeated the bloodfish
at Jerod's Landing --
123
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,467
[ Groans, sighs ]
124
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:06,598
Hm. Looks like that guy
just killed you.
125
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,225
What?!
126
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,601
Why?
127
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,644
Why?!
128
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,772
My friends, as you all know,
129
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,941
some giant butthole keeps
logging on to Warcraft
130
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,526
and killing all our characters.
131
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,486
The past four nights
we've tried to play,
132
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,738
he shows up and kills us.
133
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,282
He killed my character
right in the middle of a quest!
134
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,575
Mine too!
135
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,785
We've learned that the four
of us can't fight him alone.
136
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,622
But if we all log in together,
we might have a chance.
137
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,832
Hey! Yeah!
138
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,501
We can really stick it
to that ass m-munch.
139
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,544
Are you guys dumb?
140
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,338
We can't beat him,
even with all of us.
141
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,381
- It's a waste of time.
- Dude, we have to try.
142
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,300
I've got better things to do.
143
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,509
Clyde! Clyde!
144
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,678
If you had a chance right now
to go back in time
145
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,431
and stop Hitler,
wouldn't you do it?
146
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,224
I mean,
I personally wouldn't stop him
147
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,268
because I think he was awesome,
but you would, right?
148
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,145
I'm just gonna stop playing.
149
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,105
When Hitler rose to power,
there were a lot of people
150
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,732
who just stopped playing.
151
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,151
You know who those people were?
The French.
152
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,361
Are you French, Clyde?
153
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:01,487
No.
154
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,781
Voulez-vous coucher
avec moi, Clyde?
155
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,699
All right! All right!
I'll do it!
156
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,909
So what's the p-plan?
157
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,910
All right,
158
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,496
Log in tonight from your
computers at precisely 7:30.
159
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,497
We will meet here,
160
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,248
on the plains of the
Elwynn forest near Westfall.
161
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,292
My friends, to victory!
162
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,169
ALL:
To victory!
163
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,713
I don't play
"World of Warcraft."
164
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,883
Butters, you said you're
on your computer all the time.
165
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,803
Yeah, but I'm playing
"Hello Kitty Island Adventure."
166
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,640
Butters,
go buy "World of Warcraft,"
167
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,017
install it on your computer,
and join the online sensation
168
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,352
before we all murder you.
169
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,939
Oh. Oh, all right.
All right, then.
170
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,274
[ Dramatic music plays ]
171
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,447
CARTMAN: All right, you guys!
This is it!
172
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,782
When the attack begins,
173
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,826
all warriors click
on "defensive stance."
174
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,870
Everyone else wait for Craig
to cast his intellect buff.
175
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,372
- TOKEN: Okay!
- JASON: Got it.
176
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,915
The battle is sure to be long,
177
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000
so make sure you all have
your special abilities
178
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,335
macroed to your keyboards.
179
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,213
JIMMY: All right, Eric.
You can c-c-c-count on us.
180
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,589
TIMMY:
Timmy!
181
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,758
This shall be a day
for all to remember!
182
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,136
Let us bravely charge
the fields of Azeroth!
183
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,054
- From which --
- BUTTERS: Hey, fellas!
184
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,807
Boy, this is neato, huh?
185
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,059
[ Birds chirping ]
186
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,437
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?
187
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,314
I got "World of Warcraft"
like you said.
188
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,233
You can't be the dwarf
character, Butters.
189
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,317
I'm the dwarf.
190
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,361
Well, there's only like
four races to choose from.
191
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,362
So pick another one!
192
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,822
I'm the dwarf,
you stupid asshole!
193
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,616
Log out, create a new character,
and log back in!
194
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,410
I like
"Hello Kitty Island Adventure"
195
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:32,661
a lot more than this stuff.
196
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,037
Come on!
Let's do this!
197
00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,665
CRAIG: Yeah. My mom says
I have to be in bed at 9:30.
198
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,001
Then let's move out!
199
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,836
[All shouting ]
200
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,047
[ Music continues ]
201
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,886
[ Grunts ]
202
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,890
[All groaning ]
203
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,309
Look!
There he is!
204
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,352
Everyone hold!
205
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,481
He's targeting us!
206
00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,982
Prepare to charge!
207
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,027
Scroll over him
with your mouse cursors...
208
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,446
and...right-click!
209
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,239
[All shouting ]
210
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,242
What the...
211
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,328
Oh, Jesus!
He summoned scorpions!
212
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:17,206
[ Shouting in distance ]
213
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,000
[All shouting, groaning ]
214
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,379
Aah!
I'm burning!
215
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,673
Oh, Jesus!
I'm burning!
216
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,259
Rm!
Mrph rm!
217
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,012
Kenny's down.
K-Kenny is down!
218
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,889
TWEEK:
[ Screaming ]
219
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,892
IKE:
I'm gonna poop in my pants.
220
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:37,893
Ike, look out!
221
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,771
- [ Grunts ]
- Aah! Kyle!
222
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,108
All right, Clyde!
Hit him with your crossbow!
223
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,903
Hit him now, Clyde!
224
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,321
Clyde?!
225
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,697
Clyde!
226
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,325
Clyde!
Clyde, you asshole!
227
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,952
God damn it!
We lost Clyde!
228
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,541
Hey, Stan,
can I play with you guys?
229
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:01,375
Dad?
230
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,210
Yeah.
I'm playing from the office.
231
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,254
Dad, get off our TeamSpeak line!
232
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,381
[ Groans ]
233
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:08,590
That's it.
I'm dead.
234
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,676
[ Grunts ]
235
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,844
That's it.
Screw this game.
236
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,429
No!
Leave me alone!
237
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,765
Don't -- Aah!
238
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,646
God [bleep] damn it!
239
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:23,981
[ Down-tempo music playing ]
240
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,108
[ Farts ]
241
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,777
Oh, Jesus.
242
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,529
- Oh, God, no.
- [ Keys clicking ]
243
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,114
What?
244
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,158
He's just finished killing
every single player
245
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,827
in the Arathi Highlands.
246
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,787
How many people's characters
were in there?
247
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,330
Over 5,000.
248
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,834
There are over 7 million people
249
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,544
who log on
to "World of Warcraft."
250
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,588
Are you telling me
all those people's characters
251
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,672
are going to die
252
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,008
and there's nothing we can do
to save them?!
253
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,427
Yes, and it won't be long
254
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,262
before everyone gets really,
really frustrated
255
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,097
and stops playing altogether.
256
00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,767
Gentlemen, this could very well
lead to the end
257
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:04,062
of the World...of Warcraft.
258
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,272
No!
259
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,108
N-o-o-o!
260
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,284
What the hell
are you guys doing?
261
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,870
Don't tell me you all quit
playing "World of Warcraft" too!
262
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:20,871
Dude, we're done.
263
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,456
We're sick of getting killed
all the time.
264
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,124
Guys, when things look bad,
265
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,752
you can't just give up
on the World...of Warcraft.
266
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,128
We don't have a choice, dude.
267
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,380
That guy killed our characters
14 times!
268
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,007
I have a solution, you guys.
269
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,383
That guy can kill us so easily
270
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,135
because he's a super-high level,
right?
271
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,137
But if we were
super-high level, too...
272
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,764
We can't get to a higher level
273
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:41,099
because that dude doesn't
let us finish quests!
274
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,851
That's why we need to
just log in
275
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,187
and stay in the forest,
killing boars.
276
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,438
Boars?
277
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,231
There's lots of computer-
generated boars in Warcraft
278
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,566
that die with just one blow.
279
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,027
Dude, boars are only worth
2 experience points apiece.
280
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,403
Do you know how many
we would have to kill
281
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,446
to get up 30 levels?
282
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,281
Yes.
283
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,618
65,340,285,
284
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,161
which should take us
seven weeks, five days,
285
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,579
13 hours, and 20 minutes,
286
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,164
giving ourselves
three hours a night to sleep.
287
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,666
What do you say, guys?
288
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,751
You can just -- You can just
hang outside in the sun all day
289
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,169
tossing a ball around,
290
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,713
or you can sit at your computer
and do something that matters.
291
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,092
[ Up-tempo rock music plays ]
292
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,640
[ Boar shrieks ]
293
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,977
MAN:
♪ Live to win ♪
294
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,729
♪ Till you die ♪
295
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,149
♪ Till the light dies
in your eye ♪
296
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,402
♪ Live to win ♪
297
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,404
♪ Take it all ♪
298
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:39,241
♪ Just keep fighting
till you fall ♪
299
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,745
♪ Day by day,
kickin' all the way ♪
300
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,832
♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
301
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,210
♪ Let another round begin ♪
302
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045
♪ Live to win ♪
303
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,297
♪ Yeah ♪
304
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,841
♪ Live ♪
305
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,676
♪ Yeah ♪
306
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,886
♪ Win ♪
307
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,722
Sir, you'd better have a look
at this.
308
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,473
Four of our subscribers --
309
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,435
They've gone up 50 levels
in three weeks!
310
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,728
My God.
311
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,855
They must have no lives at all.
312
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,189
A hope?
313
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,357
A chance.
314
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,985
♪ Live to win ♪
315
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,028
♪ Till you die ♪
316
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,532
♪ Till the light dies
in your eye ♪
317
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,784
Dude, my mouse-clicking finger
hurts.
318
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,244
Keep clicking, Kyle.
You can do it!
319
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:29,291
♪ Just keep fighting
till you fall ♪
320
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,294
♪ Day by day,
kickin' all the way ♪
321
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,964
♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
322
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,259
♪ Let another round begin ♪
323
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,095
♪ Live to win ♪
324
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,266
♪ Yeah ♪
325
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,685
♪ Live ♪
326
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,645
♪ Yeah ♪
327
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,148
♪ Win ♪
328
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,654
The admins tell us
they are four players
329
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,823
from a small town in Colorado.
330
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,993
Are they strong enough
to defeat the evil one?
331
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,077
We ran the numbers.
332
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,038
Even with their amazing rise
in levels,
333
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,707
they have a 90%
mortality probability.
334
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,417
They'd be walking
into a slaughter.
335
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,420
There has to be some way
we can help them.
336
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:21,343
What about...
the Sword of A Thousand Truths?
337
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,762
Quiet, Thomas! We aren't
to even speak of that sword!
338
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,222
But maybe these new players
339
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,265
are the ones
the prophecy foretold of!
340
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,350
It is not an option!
341
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,101
What is this sword?
342
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,146
Long ago, when the
World of Warcraft was created,
343
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,106
one of the programmers
put a sword
344
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,942
called the Sword
of A Thousand Truths
345
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,401
into the game inventory.
346
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,446
Apparently it could cause
120 damage per second
347
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,615
with an instant manna burn
and an enchantment
348
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,700
that boosted stamina plus-80.
349
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:48,328
But the sword was considered
to be too powerful
350
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,830
for anyone to possess.
351
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,790
So it was removed from the game
352
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,584
and stored
on a one-gig flash drive.
353
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,795
But it was foretold that one day
354
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,257
players who could wield the
sword might reveal themselves.
355
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,175
Who foretold this prophecy?
356
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,011
Saltzman.
He's in accounting.
357
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:21,152
Behold.
The Sword of A Thousand Truths.
358
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,612
[ Dramatic music plays ]
359
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,114
PRESIDENT:
We must get this sword
360
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,741
to the ones who have proven
they have no life.
361
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,202
Let's just hope to Christ
they don't start the battle
362
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,246
before we can reach them.
363
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,624
All right, you guys.
The moment of truth is here.
364
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,585
It is time for our final battle.
365
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,961
Everyone, log in!
366
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,880
I'm in.
367
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,089
Me too.
368
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,549
Mrph rmh.
369
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,509
Everyone equip healing potions
to the hotbar
370
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,177
if you haven't already.
371
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,013
Uh, Kyle go ahead and cast
arcane brilliance
372
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,514
to raise our intelligence.
373
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,933
Hang on. I'm chaining
my fire spells for max range.
374
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,059
Nice.
375
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,562
Stan, what enchantment does
your Cloak of the Tiger have?
376
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,188
Plus-15 agility.
377
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,231
Give the cloak to Kenny.
378
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,233
He needs the agility boost
for bow attacks.
379
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,151
'Kay.
380
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,528
Hold on. This fight could last
more than 12 hours.
381
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,779
What if we run out of food?
382
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,781
Don't worry.
I have that covered.
383
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,742
- Mom?
- CARTMAN'S MOM: Yes, hon?
384
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,160
More Hot Pockets.
385
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,328
Right away, hon.
386
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,913
That's uber-cool.
387
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,497
All right.
Everyone ready?
388
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,749
- Ready.
- KYLE: Ready.
389
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,125
Let's go get him!
390
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,962
[ Dramatic music plays,
keys clicking ]
391
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,469
Wait.
I think I see him.
392
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,179
Yeah. Yeah.
He's here in Goldshire.
393
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,474
Okay, everyone open your F-list
and auto-locate to Stan.
394
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,559
What's the auto-locate macro?
395
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,103
Command-zero.
[ Sniffs ]
396
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,397
Okay.
Right behind Stan.
397
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,733
Kenny, get ready
to turn on trueshot aura.
398
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,194
At that moment,
I will use intimidating shout.
399
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,029
Okay.
He sees us.
400
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,865
[ Music continues ]
401
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325
He's targeted us.
402
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,494
Okay.
Hit him with pyroblast, Kyle.
403
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,495
Casting.
404
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,330
There's an eight-second
cast time.
405
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,290
Aren't you spec'd
to reduce cast time?
406
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,250
No.
I'm an arcane fire mage.
407
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,418
Christ.
408
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,003
He cast summon again.
409
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,672
Everyone target the scorpions.
410
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,049
[ Keys clicking ]
411
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:12,764
[ Dramatic music plays ]
412
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,308
[All grunting ]
413
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,485
[ Knock on door ]
414
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:26,987
Yes?
415
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,989
We are looking for
a great knight
416
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,282
by the name of luvs2spooge.
417
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,369
That's my son's character's name
in Warcraft.
418
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,245
Where is he?!
419
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,663
Who are you?
420
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,164
Sir, we don't have time!
421
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,624
We just heard from our admins
422
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,835
that your son's party
is already in battle!
423
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,545
Unless they have this sword,
424
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,797
your son's character
is going to die.
425
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,966
[ Insects chirping ]
426
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,592
Oh, my God.
427
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,553
[ Glass shatters ]
428
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,054
[ Dramatic music plays ]
429
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,889
[ Grunts ]
430
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,182
Kyle, fire spell!
431
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,727
Ha! Aah!
Aah!
432
00:16:58,852 --> 00:16:59,644
Kyle?
433
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,396
Aah!
Aah!
434
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,981
Kyle!
Dude, what's wrong?
435
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,691
Carpal tunnel!
Carpal tunnel!
436
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:05,984
It's -- Aah!
437
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,485
Oh, Jesus!
He's got it bad!
438
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,030
Quick!
We need Ben Gay!
439
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,244
Hurry, dude!
440
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,912
I'm going as fast as I can!
441
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,456
Kyle, you have to keep playing.
442
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,207
I can't.
Just leave me behind.
443
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,501
We can't do this without you!
Now come on!
444
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,212
Stan, Stan!
445
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881
Sharon, where's Stan?
446
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:28,798
I don't know.
447
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,885
He took his computer somewhere
to play that stupid online game.
448
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,219
Stupid?
449
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,555
- Where?!
- I don't know!
450
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,558
Sharon, his character is going
to die if we don't get to him!
451
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,642
So what?
452
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,770
- So what?!
- So what?!
453
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,229
We're too late.
454
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,981
Without the sword,
the players will fail.
455
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,566
If we could get to a computer,
456
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,234
we could sign on
to the World of Warcraft
457
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,528
and give the boys the sword
online.
458
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,197
I don't have
a "World of Warcraft" account.
459
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,200
- Do you?
- No. I have a life.
460
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,868
Give me the sword.
461
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,496
- You?
- I have a Warcraft character.
462
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,457
I'm a newb, but I can log on and
get the sword to Stan online.
463
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,627
We can't trust the Sword
of A Thousand Truths to a newb!
464
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,504
Sounds to me like
we don't have a choice.
465
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,089
Give me the sword.
466
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,800
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
467
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,637
Ahh.
468
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,473
Come on. We've got to get
to a computer that works!
469
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,766
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
470
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,102
- Where's your car?!
- We took a cab here!
471
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,603
Damn it!
Mine's in the shop!
472
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,146
Hey! Help! Stop!
473
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,940
Please!
It's an emergency!
474
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,858
[ Tires screech ]
475
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:29,859
[ Grunts ]
476
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,069
Come on!
477
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,071
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
478
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:36,699
Nelson! Nelson, I need to come
over and use your computer!
479
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,868
No, I need to play
"World of Warcraft"!
480
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,203
Nelson?!
481
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,462
All right. Major stone shield
potions should be --
482
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,923
Oh, God.
I'm gonna have diarrhea again.
483
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,675
[ Groans ]
484
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,511
You can't go to the bathroom.
You're stacking sunder armor.
485
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,637
It's okay.
486
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,181
Mom, bathroom!
487
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,142
- CARTMAN'S MOM: What, hon?
- Bathroom!
488
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,268
Bathroom!
489
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,815
[ Farting ]
490
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,526
Oh!
That's a big boy, isn't he?
491
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:12,986
All right, Kenny.
492
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,487
Drink your elixir
of the mongoose.
493
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,990
I am now going to use
mocking blow.
494
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,658
[ Dramatic music plays ]
495
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,163
"World of Warcraft"!
I need to play!
496
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,331
Our demo is set up
right over by the --
497
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,709
[ Keys clicking ]
498
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,587
Got to sign in.
499
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,881
Character name.
All right! I'm in!
500
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,841
Dude, I'm almost dead.
501
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,426
Kyle, cast arcane missiles!
502
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,178
I'm out of manna.
I told you!
503
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,680
I've got to heal!
504
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,974
Stan!
505
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,685
Dad?
Not now!
506
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,981
Stan, I've been sent here...
to bring you this.
507
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,692
This sword can completely drain
his manna!
508
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,027
Dad, how did you get that?
509
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,862
No time!
Just take it!
510
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,238
Here!
511
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,994
How -- How do you hand something
from one player to another?
512
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,705
Bring up your inventory screen.
Control-I!
513
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,539
Okay.
514
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,209
Stan, what the hell
are you doing?!
515
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,878
- I got it!
- Aah!
516
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:12,795
Dad!
517
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,380
[ Weakly ]
Stan!
518
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,548
Dad, no!
519
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,094
You killed my father.
520
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:21,971
Aah!
521
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:24,057
- [ Groans ]
- [ Electricity crackling ]
522
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,850
His shield and armor spells
are down!
523
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,769
Attack!
524
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,771
[ Grunts ]
525
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,939
Aah!
526
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,107
[ Groans ]
527
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,446
Looks like you're
about to get pwned.
528
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,032
Yaah!
529
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,123
Dad?
Dad?
530
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,042
[ Weakly ]
Stan.
531
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:54,629
I've never been able to say this
before, but...
532
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422
I love you, son.
533
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,424
I know you do, Dad.
534
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,551
[ Groaning ]
535
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:05,598
[ Groaning ]
536
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,058
They did it!
537
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,269
Our world is saved!
538
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,855
They did it!
They killed him!
539
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,066
- They did it!
- They killed him!
540
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,734
- We can come out!
- Come out!
541
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:17,735
- Yes!
- Mrph rm!
542
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,362
- All right!
- Yeah!
543
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,405
- All right.
- Yeah.
544
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,864
- Yeah.
- Mrph rm.
545
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,951
We did it, you guys.
We're totally heroes.
546
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,786
That was such uber-pwnage.
547
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,955
I can't believe it's all over.
548
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,957
What do we do now?
549
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,793
What do you mean?
550
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,503
Now we can finally play
the game.
551
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,462
Oh, yeah.
552
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:37,755
Okay, Kenny.
553
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,091
Add eyes of the beast
to your hotbar.
554
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,303
Stan, check your fury talents
to boost your shouts.
555
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,804
Got it.