1
00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,389
[murmurs]
2
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,063
- Hi, I'm Trey Parker.
- And I'm Matt Stone.
3
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,274
And we're Trey Parker
and Matt Stone,
4
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:26,944
and this is "Terrance and
Phillip: Not Without My Anus,"
5
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,655
which is our favorite episode,
and it really is.
6
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,365
I know we always say that,
7
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,992
but this one really is
our favorite episode.
8
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,828
This, uh -- we did this show
last year.
9
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,788
It aired on April Fools' Day,
10
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,458
and it was supposed to be
an April Fools' joke, and--
11
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,959
What are you doing?
12
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,419
I'm doing a -- you know,
the MTV stuff.
13
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,670
- Don't do that.
- You know--come on.
14
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,047
Don't do--no, don't do that.
15
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:47,965
- All right.
- Just sit there.
16
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,675
It aired on April Fools' Day.
17
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,261
We'd set up the end of
season one with a cliffhanger
18
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,930
about who Cartman's dad was.
19
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,183
You had to tune in to find out
who Cartman's dad was,
20
00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,310
and it was April 1st,
21
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,645
so instead of telling you
who Cartman's dad was,
22
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,147
we aired an entire Terrance
and Phillip episode,
23
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,440
which we thought was hilarious,
24
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,317
but it didn't go over
very well.
25
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,943
- Most of America hated it, yeah.
- Everyone hated it.
26
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,779
And they--'cause they--
they were like,
27
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,572
"Well, who's Cartman's dad?
Who's Cartman's dad?"
28
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,240
And everyone sat through
this episode waiting to see
29
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,326
who Cartman's dad was
and didn't get to really
30
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:17,036
experience the beauty and the--
31
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,704
the awesomeness
of this episode,
32
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,998
and so we're really glad
that it's out on video
33
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,666
so now people can enjoy it
for what it is.
34
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:26,170
We're very glad this episode
is out on video.
35
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,047
Because now everyone can see
36
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,091
what a brilliant piece of work
it is.
37
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:32,968
So enjoy "Terrance and
Phillip: Not Without My Anus."
38
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,893
[indistinct chatter]
39
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,907
Since the last "South Park,"
you've waited four long weeks
40
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,410
to find out who the father
of Eric Cartman is.
41
00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:01,455
Now finally, the shocking
truth about Cartman's lineage
42
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,875
will not be seen tonight
so that we can bring you
43
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,169
the following
special presentation.
44
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:12,258
Now get ready for Canada's
hottest action stars,
45
00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:15,344
Terrance and Phillip
in the HBC Movie of the Week.
46
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,729
Ladies and gentlemen,
47
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,356
before you today
sits a murderer.
48
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,233
On the night in question,
49
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,193
this monster entered
the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer
50
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,362
and struck him repeatedly
in the head with this hammer.
51
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,531
That monster is sitting
right over there
52
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825
and his name
is Terrance!
53
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,077
( farting )
54
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,288
Terrance,
you farted in court.
55
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,415
Yes, Phillip, I'm making
a case for our defense.
56
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,459
All of these things
link Terrance to the murder.
57
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,920
Hair fibers, blood samples,
nail clippings,
58
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,964
a piece of his shirt,
59
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,591
a watch with his
initials on it.
60
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,010
A day planner with
the murder scheduled.
61
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,721
A haiku called "Time to Kill
Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer".
62
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,849
"Dr. O'Dwyer, time to
have your head smashed in
63
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,727
with my new hammer."
64
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,188
Terrance, you may be
a famous surgeon,
65
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,230
but you're
not God!
66
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,316
J'accuse,
Terrance.
67
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:11,734
Would you like
a "monkey claw", Phillip?
68
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,735
Yes, please.
69
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,736
( farting )
70
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,029
( laughing )
71
00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:16,906
That's called
the "monkey claw"
72
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365
because it feels like my colon
is being ripped apart
73
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,075
by a thousand monkeys.
74
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,535
The "monkey claw"
is smelly.
75
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,912
Come on,
get a move on.
76
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,246
I ain't getting
any younger up here.
77
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,123
My sentiments exactly,
Your Honor.
78
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,000
I see from your accent
that you're southern Canadian.
79
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,543
That is correct.
80
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,253
Good people of the jury,
my client, Terrance,
81
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,338
is an
innocent man.
82
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,131
( farting )
83
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,675
Oh, Phillip, now you farted
during the closing argument!
84
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,801
I have, haven't I,
Terrance?
85
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:38,802
( farting )
86
00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:39,803
( laughing )
87
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,555
Your Honor,
88
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,474
the defense is trying to make
a mockery of this court.
89
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,392
They think that farts
are funny, but they're not!
90
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,061
Sustained.
91
00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,021
Good people of the jury,
my client Terrance
92
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,023
is no more a murderer
than you or me.
93
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,484
He loves puppies
and hates mean things.
94
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:56,403
Would a murderer go to the zoo
and feed animals like this?
95
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,614
Of course not.
96
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,950
So in summation,
find Terrance innocent,
97
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,660
or else
he'll kill you.
98
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:03,953
( gasping )
99
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:04,954
( laughing )
100
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,247
Just kidding.
101
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,581
The defense
rests.
102
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,832
( farting )
103
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,418
God damn it,
that isn't funny.
104
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,587
Madam foreperson,
have you reached a verdict
105
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,089
so we can get
the hell out of here?
106
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,966
We have, your honor.
We have found Terrance
107
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,968
in the above entitled
action of murder
108
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:19,969
against
Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer--
109
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,595
( farting )
110
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,555
You're gonna have to
repeat that verdict
111
00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,057
because we had some
flatulence issues.
112
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,433
I said, we find--
113
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,476
( farting )
114
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,019
we find Terrance--
115
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,980
not guilty!
116
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,147
Did you hear that,
Terrance?
117
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,941
You're not guilty!
118
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,568
Oh, Phillip, you've saved me
from the gas chamber!
119
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,404
( laughing )
120
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,948
Oh, no!
121
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,658
That sure
was fun, Phillip.
122
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,076
Let's go home
and eat kroff dinner.
123
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,494
Here, here.
124
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745
Well, looks like
you got away with it,
125
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:47,746
Terrance
and Phillip.
126
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,081
Oh, hello,
Scott.
127
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,541
No hard feelings,
right, old pal?
128
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,209
There are hard feelings.
This isn't over!
129
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,752
I'm gonna
see to it
130
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,045
that you both pay
for what you've done!
131
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,297
And do you
know why?
132
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,215
'Cause you're
a dick?
133
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,050
No, because
I hate you.
134
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428
You think farting is so funny.
Well, it isn't!
135
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,138
Fart jokes are
the lowest form of comedy,
136
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,139
and if I--
137
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,348
( farting )
138
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,933
Oh, I hate
you both!
139
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,810
I've hated you ever since
I can remember.
140
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,854
I hate you and I wish
you both had cancer!
141
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,439
Cancer?
142
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,898
Yes, in the head.
143
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,400
Head cancer?
144
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,360
This is not the end,
Terrance and Phillip.
145
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,029
You'll rue
this day.
146
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,989
Wow, Scott really
hates us, Phillip.
147
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,284
Yes, perhaps
he's homophobic.
148
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,036
But we're
not gay, Phillip.
149
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,620
We're not?
150
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,247
Well, let us board the subway
and return home.
151
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,957
There we can eat
kroff dinner.
152
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,625
Yes, it's been
a long day
153
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,544
and only kroff dinner
can calm my nerves.
154
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,758
( farting )
155
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,551
( laughing )
156
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,886
Say, Phillip, why does Scott
157
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,346
always try
to convict me of murder?
158
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,722
He does it
every week.
159
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,098
He sure does
seem to hate us.
160
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,808
I wonder what
he'll try to do next.
161
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,352
God only knows.
162
00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,062
The subway certainly
is wonderful, Terrance.
163
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,230
It sure is. Let's
look for treasure.
164
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,024
Yes, let's look
for treasure.
165
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,782
( phone ringing )
166
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,575
Hello?
167
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,659
Hello. Is this
Scott from Canada?
168
00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:08,994
Yes, yes, it is.
169
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,496
You're a journalist,
right?
170
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,289
Yes, I'm a television critic
for magazines.
171
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,957
I understand that you hate
Terrance and Phillip.
172
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,959
Yes, yes, I do.
173
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,419
They think fart jokes are
a sophisticated form of comedy,
174
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,046
but they're not.
175
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,172
Well, what if I were to help
you get rid of them
176
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,173
once and for all?
177
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,966
Who is this?
178
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,635
Let's just say that I'm someone
who can help you
179
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,428
if you help me.
180
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,972
Just call me your old pal,
Saddam Hussein.
181
00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,100
Saddam Hussein,
the Iraqi dictator?
182
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,976
Hey, relax, guy,
I'm just your average Joe.
183
00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,019
Take a rest!
184
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,729
What do you want?
185
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,731
You want Terrance and Phillip
out of Canada.
186
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,942
I want you to bring me
and my friends into Canada.
187
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,527
That sounds like
a fair trade, doesn't it?
188
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,903
Super,
let's get started.
189
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,530
I'm not sure
I should trust you.
190
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,990
Hey, relax, guy,
trust me.
191
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:52,996
Well, it's too bad
we didn't find any treasure
192
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,581
on the subway,
Phillip.
193
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,958
Oh, hello,
Ugly Bob.
194
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,043
Hello, Terrance.
Hello, Phillip.
195
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,671
My God, you're looking
hideously ugly today,
Ugly Bob.
196
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,089
How come you guys
say stuff like that?
197
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,090
Because you're
Goddamned ugly, Bob.
198
00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,842
I know, but--
199
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,385
Ugly Bob, your face looks
like somebody tried
200
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,387
to put out a forest fire
with a screwdriver.
201
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,097
I can't help
how I look.
202
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,349
Besides, it's not what's
on the outside that matters,
203
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,350
it's what's
on the inside.
204
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,351
No, it isn't.
205
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,811
( laughing )
206
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,229
Want to see what's on
the inside of me?
207
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,230
( farting )
208
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,481
( laughing )
209
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,650
Wait, wait,
I've got an idea!
210
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,610
Why don't you put this
paper bag over your head,
Ugly Bob?
211
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237
Yes, if people
can't see your face,
212
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,698
they won't know how
wretchedly ugly you are.
213
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,283
Really?
Hey, thanks, you guys.
214
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,951
Maybe now I can
score with chicks.
215
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619
Sure you can,
Ugly Bob.
216
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,204
If they can't see how
horribly disfigured you are,
217
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,622
they'll want to
sleep with you.
218
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,790
Thanks,
you guys.
219
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:41,879
Hello, Barky,
hello, Purry.
220
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:42,880
Bark, bark!
221
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,882
Prrr, prrr.
222
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,425
Say, Terrance, I was just about
to make some kroff dinner.
223
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,051
Would you
like some?
224
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,470
You know I never turn down
kroff dinner, Phillip.
225
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:50,471
( farting )
226
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,889
( laughing )
227
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,390
I'm going to put on
a pirate costume.
228
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,641
( doorbell )
229
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,727
Special delivery
for Terrance.
230
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,103
I'll take that.
231
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,230
Sign here
and here and here,
232
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,274
and here
and here.
233
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,276
And here.
234
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,319
Oh, Terrance!
235
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,987
You got a letter!
236
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,614
Shiver me timbers,
Phillip.
237
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,157
At this rate I'll never get
to my kroff dinner.
238
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,742
Oh my God!
239
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,243
What is it, Terrance?
Did you fart?
240
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,536
No, it's Sally.
241
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,205
She's being held
captive in Iran.
242
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,623
Not Sally! Dear God,
no, Terrance.
243
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,042
Why Sally?
God, why?
244
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,293
Say, Terrance,
who's Sally?
245
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,961
My daughter.
246
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,546
I never knew
you had a daughter, Terrance.
247
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,173
Oh, yes.
Didn't I mention that, me hearties?
248
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966
No, you never did,
Terrance.
249
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,345
Oh, well, it all began
15 years ago.
250
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,767
My God, what a fascinating
story, Terrance,
251
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,185
especially the part
about Celine Dion.
252
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,937
Yes, indeed.
253
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,355
But now my little Sally
is being held captive in Iran
254
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,856
and I will have to
go and find her!
255
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,233
And I will go
with you, Terrance.
256
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,609
You are such
a good friend, Phillip.
257
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,444
Well, you know
what they say.
258
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,404
"A friend in need is a friend
with kroff dinner."
259
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,822
Avast there, mateys.
260
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,744
( doorbell )
261
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,454
Hello,
Celine Dion.
262
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,623
Terrance, this is
quite a surprise.
263
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:00,666
You're
looking well.
264
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,042
And you.
265
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,961
Celine, where is
our daughter, Sally?
266
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,088
She's in the Middle East
studying anthropology, why?
267
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,881
Wrong!
268
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,467
She's been taken hostage
and is now being held prisoner.
269
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,052
What?
270
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,303
Phillip and I are
going to Iran to find her,
271
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,888
but we may
never return.
272
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,224
Oh, Terrance,
what happened to us?
273
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,351
We just grew apart,
Celine Dion.
274
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,228
Please bring our daughter
home safe, Terrance.
275
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,229
( farting )
276
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,480
( laughing )
277
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:27,818
Hello,
Ugly Bob.
278
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,278
Hi, guys.
279
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,529
How's the paper bag
working out?
280
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,822
People seem
to really like it.
281
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823
I even have
a date this Friday.
282
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,449
Terrific!
283
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,034
We need two tickets
for Tehran, please.
284
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,536
Iran is dangerous.
You guys shouldn't go there.
285
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,288
Damn it, man!
Danger or no,
286
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,872
I'm going to help my friend
find his daughter!
287
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,499
( laughing )
288
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,709
All right then, there's
a flight leaving today.
289
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,419
Oh, good.
290
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,629
Well, I certainly am going
to miss Canada, Terrance.
291
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,131
Indeed, Phillip.
292
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,174
Terrance,
if I die whilst in Iran,
293
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,801
please bring my body
back to Canada
294
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,053
and bury me in a box
with a side of kroff dinner.
295
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,263
Same here,
Phillip.
296
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,850
♪ O Canada ♪
297
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:04,146
♪ Our home
and native land ♪
298
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:08,317
♪ True patriot love ♪
299
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,654
♪ In all
thy sons command ♪
300
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,325
♪ With glowing hearts
we see thee rise ♪
301
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:20,120
♪ The true north
strong and free ♪
302
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:24,166
♪ From far and wide,
O Canada ♪
303
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,253
♪ We stand on guard
for thee ♪
304
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,299
♪ God keep our land... ♪
305
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,594
Scott to Red Dragon.
Come in, Red Dragon.
306
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,012
Go ahead, Scott.
This is Red Dragon.
307
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,639
The plan is
working perfectly.
308
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:39,723
Terrance and Phillip
have taken the bait.
309
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,433
Excellent.
310
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,809
My buddies and I are ready
to come to Canada.
311
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,561
Has everything
been arranged?
312
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,355
Yes, everything's proceeding
according to plan.
313
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,148
Now, you promised that when
Terrance and Phillip arrive
314
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,816
they'll be ripped into pieces
and shot several times.
315
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,401
Hey, relax, guy.
316
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,236
I'm gonna keep
my side of the bargain.
317
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,238
Roger, Red Dragon.
Scott out.
318
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,532
I've got you now,
you fart-loving fart lovers.
319
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,163
( farting )
320
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,748
( laughing )
321
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,792
( Phillip )
I got ya!
322
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,335
( farting )
323
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,629
( laughing )
324
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,011
Oh, Phillip.
325
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,097
How will I ever find my fugitive daughter
in this daunting place?
326
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,264
We don't speak
the language.
327
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,641
We are unwelcome
strangers,
328
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,309
and we have no idea
where to begin.
329
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,394
Oh, look,
there she is.
330
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,395
Oh, good.
331
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,396
Who? Where?
332
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,772
I'm here, Sally.
333
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,565
It's your father,
Terrance.
334
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,942
I'm here to save you
from your smelly Iranian
captors.
335
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,026
Papa.
336
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,403
Say, she looks a lot more
337
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,404
like Celine Dion than you,
Terrance.
338
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,655
( farting )
339
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,365
Oh, now I see
the resemblance!
340
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,033
Well, enough of Iran,
let's get home.
341
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,034
( farting )
342
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,411
( laughing )
343
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,332
Well, now that I have
my bastard daughter back,
344
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,084
I feel like going
to Celine Dion's house
345
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,044
and asking her
to marry me again.
346
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,296
Oh, raspberries,
looks like I'm losing a friend.
347
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:54,673
No, you're gaining
a pop vocalist.
348
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,925
Oh my God!
What is this?
349
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,387
Is this Canada?
350
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,639
It seems
to have changed.
351
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,932
This is madness!
352
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,479
What's going on,
Phillip?
353
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,939
How could Canada have changed
so much whilst we were gone?
354
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,816
I don't know,
Terrance.
355
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,693
And who is that smelly person
in all these pictures?
356
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153
I must take my bastard daughter
back to Celine Dion
357
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,821
and see what
she has to say.
358
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,745
Celine, I brought
our daughter Sally back
359
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,496
and I want
to tell you that--
360
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,123
Terrance, could you
come back a little later?
361
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,458
Why?
362
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,376
Uh... I'm just
a little busy right now.
363
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,378
You've got a man over,
don't you, Celine Dion?
364
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,379
Well, I--
365
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,714
Hi, guys.
366
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,215
Oh my God,
it's Ugly Bob!
367
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,800
What the hell
are you doing here?
368
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,177
I'm doing Celine Dion,
what's it look like?
369
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,553
Oh, Celine Dion,
what have you done?
370
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,888
I was going to
make us a family again
371
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,639
but now you've
slept with Ugly Bob.
372
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308
What do you mean? Why are you
calling him "Ugly Bob"?
373
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,310
Because that's his name,
you stupid bitch.
374
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,520
You told me your name
was "Handsome Bob"!
375
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,189
Look at him,
Celine Dion.
376
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,399
( screaming )
377
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,026
Behold his
horrible face.
378
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,111
Oh my God,
he's hopelessly ugly,
379
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,780
and I am pregnant
with his child!
380
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,072
What?
No...!
381
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,408
I'm going to have
a freak baby!
382
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,368
Oh,
the humanity!
383
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,414
Hey, Saddam,
384
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,540
you helped me get rid of
Terrance and Phillip
385
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,751
and I appreciate that,
386
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,252
but why are framed pictures of you going up
all over Canada?
387
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,712
Huh?
Oh, that?
388
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,672
Don't worry, guy,
you just need a rest.
389
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,257
No, I don't
need a rest.
390
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,258
I want to know what
this is all about.
391
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,885
Hey, relax, fella.
392
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,261
I'm just making it so
that Terrance and Phillip
393
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,554
can never come back
to Canada again.
394
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,931
I just need
a couple of things
395
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,307
and then I'm gonna
head back to Iran.
396
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,850
I thought you were
from Iraq.
397
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:29,976
Iran, Iraq,
what the hell's the difference?
398
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,102
Relax, guy.
399
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:34,981
( farting )
400
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,525
( laughing )
401
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,318
Phillip, I'm convinced
that something
402
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,903
very, very not good
is happening to Canada.
403
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,155
Yes, I agree
whole-fartedly.
404
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,657
( laughing )
405
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:44,991
Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing here?
406
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,451
Oh, hello, Scott.
407
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,453
You're not supposed
to be here.
408
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,955
You're supposed to be in Iran
looking for your kidnapped--
409
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,832
I mean,
how are you guys today?
410
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,208
Wait, what were
you saying?
411
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334
Nothing, why?
412
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,335
Hey, Scott,
guess what?
413
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,336
What?
414
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,338
( farting )
415
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,715
I hate you more than ever,
Terrance and Phillip!
416
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,717
I absolutely
abhor you both!
417
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,262
What are
you doing, Scott?
418
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,263
I'm wishing cancer
upon you.
419
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,265
Cancer?
420
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,308
That's right, I'm trying to
give you cancer with my mind.
421
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,810
Ahh! Stop that!
422
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,562
Hey, don't
give me cancer.
423
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,194
Mr. Hussein, the U.S.
government is becoming worried.
424
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,779
Worried?
About what?
425
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,114
Take a load off,
relax.
426
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,032
You seem to be
taking over Canada.
427
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,868
"Taking over Canada,"
me?
428
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:30,954
Hey, you need a rest, fella.
I'm not hiding any bombs.
429
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,831
We didn't say
anything about bombs.
430
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,875
Oh, you didn't?
Hey, relax.
431
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,209
We're giving you
just three years
432
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,878
to clear your forces
out of Canada.
433
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,713
After that we're gonna
bomb all of Iran.
434
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,214
I'm from Iraq.
435
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,717
Iran, Iraq,
what's the difference?
436
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,468
Ugh, I hate
Americans.
437
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:46,720
Please let me
kill them.
438
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,430
No, no, you need
to relax, guy.
439
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,348
Remember the plan.
First we take over Canada,
440
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601
then we'll have the best of
the female pop vocalists.
441
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,227
After that,
we'll take over the U.S.,
442
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,354
then Europe, then China,
then Newfoundland,
443
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,522
then the world!
444
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,523
( laughing )
445
00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,608
What's so funny?
446
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,401
Nothing, relax, buddy.
447
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,944
Saddam, Terrance and Phillip
are back in Canada.
448
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,571
Oh, really?
449
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,072
You promised me
they'd be gone for good.
450
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,073
That was your
part of the bargain.
451
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,533
I changed my mind.
452
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,493
Pray that I don't
change it any further.
453
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,705
This deal's getting
worse all the time.
454
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,668
Hey, Terrance, let's watch
American television.
455
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,503
Yeah, we can get
satellite feed from the U.S.
456
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,839
And watch all
the stupid TV shows.
457
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,799
Oh, look,
here's a show.
458
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,176
[Bleep] you!
459
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,303
Stupid.
460
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,930
God damn,
their TV shows are lame.
461
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,890
The father of
Eric Cartman is...
462
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,433
( laughing )
463
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,018
Look at those
silly American heads.
464
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,853
They look
like groundhogs.
465
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,397
And in other news, it appears
that Saddam Hussein
466
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,441
has finally signed an agreement
to let the U.S.
467
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,735
inspect his
military operations.
468
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,779
When asked if he would uphold
his side of the agreement,
469
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,406
Hussein replied, quote,
"Hey, relax, fella,
470
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,783
you need
a rest, guy."
471
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,034
Hey, Phillip,
472
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,410
isn't that
the smelly gentlemen
473
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,662
we've seen in pictures
all over town?
474
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,871
Yes, it is,
Terrance.
475
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414
According to
that newsy,
476
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,083
he's some kind of
Turkish dictator.
477
00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,751
Well, we can't just sit here
and eat kroff dinner
478
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503
and let Canada
be overrun by the Turks.
479
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,504
( phone )
480
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,422
( laughing )
481
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,341
That fart sounded like
a ringing phone, Terrance.
482
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,801
It sure did,
Phillip.
483
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,177
( phone )
484
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,180
Oh, wait,
that is the phone.
485
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,223
Hello?
486
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,307
Terrance, this is Scott.
487
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,184
Oh, hey...
It's Scott.
488
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,560
Tell him he's
a smelly bastard.
489
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:18,770
Phillip says
hello, Scott.
490
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,188
Just shut up
and listen.
491
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,648
You've unleashed
a monster onto Canada.
492
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,274
And only you
can get rid of him,
493
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,068
even though I hate you
and I wish you had cancer.
494
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,069
You are such
a dick, Scott.
495
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,070
You're a dick.
496
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,071
You're a dick.
497
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,072
You're a dick.
498
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,073
You're a dick.
499
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,074
You're a dick.
500
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,283
You're a dick.
501
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,577
- You're a dick.
- You're a dick.
502
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,329
The two of you are the most
annoying dicks in Canada.
503
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,540
You give other Canadians
a bad name, and if I had my--
504
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,083
I'm sorry, Scott,
could you hold on a minute?
505
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,084
Sure.
506
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,127
( farting )
507
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,336
( laughing )
508
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,963
How do you
like that, Scott?
509
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,840
You son of a bitch,
I'll get you if it's the last--
510
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,050
Oh, wait, I have another call,
Scott, can you hang on?
511
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,051
Sure.
512
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,219
( farting )
513
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,220
Oh, that was
Sir Smelly.
514
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,221
He says hello.
515
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,514
God damn it!
516
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,515
Oh, wait a second,
Scott.
517
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,516
Sure. I mean, no!
518
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,851
You listen to me.
519
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,477
If you want
to save Canada
520
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,812
you'll meet me at
Karl's Kroff Dinner Restaurant
521
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,147
in half an hour.
522
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,234
Oh, Ugly Bob,
I'm so confused.
523
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,779
I love your personality,
but you are so wretchedly ugly.
524
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,197
Maybe the baby will have
your face instead of mine.
525
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,532
We can
only hope.
526
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,034
I suppose
we'll be okay
527
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,786
as long as you keep
that bag on your head.
528
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,163
What's this?
529
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,414
Hey there,
my name's Saddam.
530
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,332
I'm a big fan
of Polo.
531
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,418
I've been searching a long time
for you, Celine Dion.
532
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,836
Oh, no you don't,
she's my bitch.
533
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:25,628
Hey, who are you?
534
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,547
I'm Bob, but
my friends call me "Ugly Bob"
535
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,299
because I have the features
of a deformed burn victim.
536
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,342
Really? I thought all Canadians
looked alike.
537
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,594
Let me see.
538
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,179
( screaming )
539
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,181
Well,
I'm sorry, guy.
540
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,849
You know, I could cure
that face of yours.
541
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:38,433
You could?
542
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,101
Sure. I just need a favor.
543
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,062
There's a Canadian
football game tomorrow.
544
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,813
The Ottawa Roughriders against
the Vancouver Roughriders.
545
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,523
It's at that game
that I will officially turn
546
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,025
the Canadian flag
over to my Iranian one.
547
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,735
What?
Why?
548
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,195
Hey, don't worry about that,
take a load off.
549
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,571
Don't think about it,
look over here.
550
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,364
All I need
is for Celine Dion
551
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,533
to sing our Iranian
national anthem at the game
552
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,368
to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada.
What do you say?
553
00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,080
Did you say hostile
takeover of Canada?
554
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,956
No, no, relax there,
fella.
555
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,172
Well, Scott said to meet him
here but he's not showing up.
556
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,173
( farting )
557
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,466
( laughing )
558
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,967
Well, while we're waiting,
559
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,427
why don't we search
for treasure?
560
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,387
Oh, good idea,
let's search for treasure.
561
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,767
What are you idiots doing?
562
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,185
We're looking for treasure.
563
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,770
Is that some kind
of metaphor
564
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,438
for a kind of search
that can't be described?
565
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,899
No, we're searching
for treasure.
566
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,317
Listen,
I have an inside scoop.
567
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,069
There's an
Iraqi dictator
568
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,821
who is quietly and slowly
taking over Canada.
569
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,947
Yes, you mean
Saddam Smelly.
570
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,573
We saw him
on the telly.
571
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,699
Well, what are you two
gonna do about it?
572
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,159
What do you mean?
573
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,994
It's your fault
that he's here.
574
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,454
You brought the Iraqis
back with you on your plane
575
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,956
when you rescued
your kidnapped daughter.
576
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,874
(Gasping )
You mean we are to blame?
577
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,377
That's right, and now
you must make amends.
578
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,671
Tomorrow, Saddam will try to
finalize his takeover of Canada
579
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,673
at the Roughriders/Roughriders
football game.
580
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,007
It will be your only shot
at wiping them all out.
581
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,008
Here, take this.
582
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,009
What is this?
583
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,636
It's a bomb.
584
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,555
You must strap it to
yourselves, go to the game,
585
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,640
and sacrifice your lives
to take out Saddam's minions.
586
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,100
That sounds scary.
587
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,685
Well, you must
do it for Canada.
588
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,478
For Canada,
Terrance.
589
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,188
For Canada,
Phillip.
590
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,315
Yes, Terrance and Phillip.
591
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,900
And when
the dust is settled
592
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,527
Canada will be rid of
both the Iraqis
593
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,571
and your immature
fart humor.
594
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,035
Well, Phillip, I'm very sad
that we have to die for Canada.
595
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,704
Yes.
596
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,330
This bomb will blow us
both to smithereens.
597
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,915
But we really
have no choice.
598
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,458
Only our deaths
can bring Canada life.
599
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:28,459
( farting )
600
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,460
( laughing )
601
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,753
That's funny.
602
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,088
Wait a minute,
Terrance,
603
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,089
that fart
gives me pause.
604
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,465
Why is that?
605
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,050
That smelly
Saddam Hussein,
606
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594
he uses German chemical
warfare, does he not?
607
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,304
Yes, apparently
he does.
608
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,805
Terrance,
get the phone book.
609
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,557
We must call every
Canadian we can.
610
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,559
Oh, Phillip, it sounds like
you have an idea.
611
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,144
I do,
Terrance.
612
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,145
( dialing )
613
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,146
( farting )
614
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,355
( laughing )
615
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,569
And the Roughriders are
really giving the Roughriders
616
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,321
a run for their money.
617
00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,031
All else aside, I must say
that the Roughriders
618
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,116
are simply outmatched
by these Roughriders.
619
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,244
( whistle )
620
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,996
And that's going
to take us to halftime.
621
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,414
Be sure to stick around
for the halftime show,
622
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,249
Saddam and
the Electric Iraqis,
623
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,710
in a salute
to hostile takeovers.
624
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,003
( band playing )
625
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,050
Well, I guess
it's time, old friend.
626
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,010
Yes, prepare
the alert.
627
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,305
Hello to my
Canadian friends.
628
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390
Everybody, relax,
take a rest,
put your feet up.
629
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,768
Those dogs
are barking.
630
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,686
You may have noticed some
changes to your country.
631
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,939
Don't worry about that.
The changes will continue.
632
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,815
I'm here to announce
once and for all
633
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,068
that Canada will now
be known as New Baghdad.
634
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,569
( exclaiming )
635
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,366
( gasping )
636
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,201
You will bow down to me
as your ruler.
637
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,203
You will obey my laws
or you will be killed.
638
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,829
( laughing )
639
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,790
And now you will sing
the Iraqi national anthem
640
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,959
or you will be
stabbed in the head.
641
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,669
(Arabic )
642
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,213
Now, Phillip?
643
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,506
Now, Terrance.
644
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,508
( blowing bugle )
645
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,888
Hey, what the hell
is this?
646
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,348
(Arabic )
647
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,184
( everyone farting )
648
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,606
( screaming )
649
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,108
They're using
chemical warfare.
650
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,901
How could they?
651
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,155
( cheering )
652
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:28,871
We did it,
Phillip.
653
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,331
We destroyed
the Turks!
654
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,250
Oh, glorious day.
655
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,386
Terrance, Terrance,
you've saved Canada.
656
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:44,929
Oh, it was all
Phillip's idea.
657
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,264
God bless you,
Phillip.
658
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:47,473
Don't touch me,
Ugly Bob.
659
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,808
Hey, what the hell
happened?
660
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,226
You were supposed
to be blown up!
661
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:51,894
We came up with
a better plan.
662
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,354
You see, Scott,
after all your criticism,
663
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,398
it was farting
that saved Canada.
664
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,191
Oh, that is
so juvenile.
665
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,901
Hey, Scott,
do you like apples?
666
00:21:59,027 --> 00:21:59,902
Of course.
667
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,446
( farting )
668
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,822
How do you like
them apples?
669
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,533
I hate you,
Terrance and Phillip!
670
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,994
Oh, Celine Dion.
671
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,579
You never finished
that national anthem.
672
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,456
You're right, Terrance,
you're right.
673
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:16,711
♪ O Canada,
our home and native land ♪
674
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:20,423
♪ True patriot love ♪
675
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:24,635
♪ In all
thy sons command ♪
676
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,348
♪ With glowing hearts
we see thee rise ♪
677
00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,934
♪ The true north
strong and free ♪
678
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:36,022
♪ From far and wide,
O Canada ♪
679
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:39,942
♪ We stand
on guard for thee ♪
680
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:44,655
♪ God,
keep our land ♪
681
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:48,409
♪ Glorious and free ♪
682
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:52,163
♪ O Canada ♪
683
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:56,959
♪ We stand
on guard for thee ♪
684
00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:00,797
♪ O Canada ♪
685
00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:07,387
♪ We stand on
guard for thee ♪
686
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:08,429
( farting )
687
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,181
( laughing )
688
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:17,563
Who is Eric Cartman's
father?
689
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:20,066
Find out on an all-new
"South Park"
690
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,859
in just a few weeks.