1 00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:05,923 [upbeat acoustic guitar music] 2 00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,926 - [singing indistinctly] 3 00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:16,058 ♪♪ 4 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:24,066 ♪♪ 5 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,403 - Oh, hi, everybody. 6 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,238 - You just caught Matt and I doing what we love to do most, 7 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,906 entertaining senior citizens at a retirement home. 8 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,951 Say hi to the "South Park" fans, gang. 9 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,120 Say hi to the "South Park" fans, I said! 10 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,122 [together] Hi. 11 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,457 - We're glad you're watching this episode of "South Park," 12 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,333 because it's our favorite episode. 13 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,960 That's right; it's called "Conjoined Fetus Lady," 14 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,336 and it's all about the kids' exciting 15 00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,338 dodgeball tournament in China. 16 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,299 Trey and I got the idea for this episode when we visited 17 00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:49,884 Beijing, China, together. 18 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,802 That's right; we saw the Great Wall, 19 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,679 the Forbidden City, and even Tiananmen Square, 20 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,765 where Chinese students were killed by soldiers. 21 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,225 Here we are reenacting the Tiananmen Square massacre. 22 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,438 - After we got out of jail for reenacting 23 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,690 the Tiananmen Square massacre, we went back home and thought, 24 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,526 "Wow, China is really stupid. Let's make fun of it." 25 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,570 So we did. 26 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:11,739 And this show also has that old "woman who has a twin that 27 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,658 died during childbirth attached to her head" joke in it. 28 00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:16,744 Isn't that funny, gang? 29 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,496 Isn't that funny, I said? 30 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:21,123 Answer him, you [bleep] pieces of [bleep]. 31 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,167 God damn it. We come and [bleep] perform 32 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,002 for you, and you sit there like a bunch of [bleep] corpses. 33 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:28,172 [bleep] you. I [bleep] hate you. 34 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:33,260 So sit back, relax, and enjoy "Conjoined Fetus Lady." 35 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:37,014 - [singing indistinctly] 36 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,774 [twangy music] 37 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,275 - ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 38 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,277 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 39 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,987 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 40 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,531 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 41 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:54,990 - ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 42 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,826 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 43 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,536 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 44 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,037 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪ 45 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,539 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪ 46 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,290 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 47 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,460 [singing indistinctly] 48 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,962 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 49 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,755 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 50 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,134 Okay, children, it's Friday. 51 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,052 And you know what that means for P.E. class. 52 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,888 We're gonna play dodgeball. 53 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,515 [all sighing, grumbling] 54 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,891 We don't want to play dodgeball. It hurts. 55 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,059 Yeah. - So let's have half 56 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,602 the children on this side, 57 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,479 and half the children on that side. 58 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,189 Excuse me a moment, gentlemen. 59 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,899 I don't believe I know how to play dodgeball. 60 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,609 - What? Don't you have dodgeball in France? 61 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:31,735 Well, no, and actually I'm not from France. 62 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,487 Look, Pip, the rules are simple. 63 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,864 A kid from that team tries to bean a kid on our team 64 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:35,906 in the head with a big red ball. 65 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,449 Oh, dear. 66 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:38,576 If the ball hits you, you're out. 67 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,452 But if you catch the ball, he's out. 68 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,288 And the last team to still have anybody standing wins. 69 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,539 Oh, what jolly good fun. 70 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,332 No, it isn't, it hurts! 71 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,625 I can't believe they let us play this in school. 72 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,544 [whistle chirps] Play ball! 73 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,087 [grunts] - Ow! [cries] 74 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,922 - Damn it, we lost one already! 75 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:54,425 - You're out, Clyde. 76 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,178 Jordan, Swanson, pull forward, we need backup. 77 00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:58,846 [squeaks] 78 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:00,472 We're losing men fast out here. 79 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,099 [grunts] 80 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,810 Concentrate on your game. Be the ball. 81 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,938 I caught it. I caught it! 82 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,357 Great catch, Kyle. Now your team's on offense. 83 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,442 Here, Pip, you throw. 84 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,776 Oh, no, I couldn't. 85 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,486 Come on, limey, don't be a wuss. 86 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:15,905 Are you gonna be a French pansy your whole life? 87 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,239 I'm not French. 88 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,116 Throw the ball, you stupid frog! 89 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,326 God damn, maybe if you didn't eat all those croissants, 90 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:21,869 you'd be able-- Ow! 91 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,829 Okay, that was pretty good, Pip. 92 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,289 But you're supposed to hit the kids on the other team. 93 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,499 Ow, my nose! You broke my nose! 94 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,084 - Damn, Pip, I didn't know you had it in you. 95 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,794 Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry. 96 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,963 That nose is bleeding pretty bad, Kyle. 97 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,257 I think you might have to go to the nurse's office. 98 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,801 [all gasping] 99 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,678 No, no, it'll be okay. 100 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,431 Sorry, son, you'll have to let the nurse look at it. 101 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,225 Come on. - No! No! 102 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:47,228 - Dude, he's going to the nurse's office. 103 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,813 I heard the school nurse is hideously deformed. 104 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:52,650 I heard she has tentacles and eats children for lunch. 105 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,986 Stan, has anybody actually seen the nurse 106 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,738 and come back to tell about it? 107 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,074 No, Cartman, nobody ever has. 108 00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:05,246 [mysterious music] 109 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:12,378 ♪♪ 110 00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,047 Are you Kyle Broflovski? 111 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,298 Yes. 112 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,508 I'm the school nurse. 113 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:18,509 Did you hurt your nose? 114 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,177 Y-yes. 115 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,345 Young man, why do you have your eyes closed? 116 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,638 I'm not gonna hurt you. 117 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,183 I know. - So open them. 118 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,310 Oh. 119 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,770 Whew. 120 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,355 - Now, what seems to be the problem? 121 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,815 I just hit my nose playing dodgeball. 122 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,733 Oh, well, I'll get you an ice pack. 123 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,485 [shrieks] 124 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,487 What? - [continues shrieking] 125 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,698 Oh, I see you've noticed my disorder. 126 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,200 I have a stillborn fetus growth attached to my head. 127 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,160 [screaming] 128 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,331 And when she moved up and down, the little fetus jiggled. 129 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,416 [together] Ew! 130 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,293 Did it talk? 131 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,877 The little fetus, did it talk? - No, no. It looked dead. 132 00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,337 [together] Ew! 133 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,047 Was it wearing clothes? 134 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,841 Dude, where is she gonna get fetus clothes? 135 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,135 Oh, yeah. - Ew. 136 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,012 [together] Ew! 137 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,306 And then she walked over-- - Kyle, that is enough! 138 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:06,765 I've been reading up on your poor nurse's condition 139 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,350 and it is nothing to be made fun of. 140 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,477 It's called "conjoined twin myslexia." 141 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,854 Who the hell cares what it's called, 142 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,522 as long as she doesn't touch me. 143 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,940 Now, that's just the kind of unawareness 144 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,066 that we need to fight against. 145 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,569 Sit down, boys. 146 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,071 You see, boys, sometimes when babies are born, 147 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,781 they're born as twins. 148 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,491 But sometimes the twins get hooked together 149 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:27,578 and they're born as Siamese twins. 150 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:28,912 [together] Gross! 151 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:30,664 But sometimes, 152 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,082 after the Siamese twins are joined together, 153 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,084 one of the twins dies before birth. 154 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,962 The living baby is born with the dead baby still attached. 155 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:40,090 Sometimes this dead twin is inside the living person, 156 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,634 so even you could have a dead twin inside you 157 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:43,927 and not even know it. 158 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,888 [both screaming] 159 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,390 So now that you're educated about her disease, 160 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,559 you won't need to make fun of her, right, booby? 161 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:55,064 Uh, yeah. 162 00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,816 [laughing] 163 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,902 Can you imagine that poor, poor woman? 164 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,779 Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,864 - Feeling like an outcast, being ridiculed every day. 166 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:04,907 Mm-hmm. 167 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,241 [phone rings] 168 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,868 Hello? 169 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,411 Hello, Sheila, it's Sharon, Stan's mother. 170 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,121 Oh, yes, hello, Sharon. 171 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,207 Sheila, I was just wondering if you might know 172 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:15,876 why my son is trying to split his head open with an ice pick. 173 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,586 No, I have to get it out! 174 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,838 Well, Sharon, I was trying to educate them 175 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,924 about conjoined twin myslexia. 176 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,550 So this is your fault. - Okay--oh--damn it! 177 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,386 Would you do me a favor? 178 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:26,929 Next time you want to scare the hell out of my child, 179 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,430 just go outside and sit in the road 180 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,058 till a truck runs you over instead. 181 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,935 That does it! 182 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,896 I must educate the entire town about this awful disease! 183 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,190 Mm-hmm. 184 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,733 Dude, I don't get it. 185 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,402 Why are we playing dodgeball again? 186 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:42,528 Yeah, I thought we only play it on Fridays. 187 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,571 Children, great news! 188 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,282 We've been asked to play in the state finals for dodgeball. 189 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,325 [all groan] 190 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,369 Aw, do we have to? 191 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,787 Can't we play with that big parachute again or something? 192 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,205 You don't understand, children, 193 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,957 if we can win state, 194 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,959 we can play in the nationals in Washington D.C. 195 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,544 Hey, they have a zoo there! 196 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,087 That's right. Now, come on, 197 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,464 we have a lot of practicing to do. 198 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,924 - Aren't we supposed to have won something 199 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,592 in order to go to state finals? 200 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,760 Hey, Pip, you want to be on my team again? 201 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,554 I'd love to! 202 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,222 Yeah, just try not to send anybody 203 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,057 to that monster nurse this time, Frenchy. 204 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,642 - Hey, I get quite disturbed when you call me that! 205 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,144 You shouldn't make fun of foreigners. 206 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,437 And besides, I hate French people. 207 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:17,438 [whistle chirps] [grunts] 208 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,439 [yelps] 209 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,024 [all laughing] 210 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,569 Well, Mrs. Broflovski, it certainly is a thrill 211 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,195 seeing your cheery face again. 212 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,780 What seems to be pissing you off today? 213 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,323 Nothing is pissing me off. 214 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,242 I just want to start a movement! 215 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,035 Of course you do. 216 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:35,122 I want to talk to you all about your school nurse. 217 00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:38,459 Nurse Gollum is absolutely qualified to be a-- 218 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,210 No, no, no, I'm not upset about her. 219 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,671 I want to make the public aware of her. 220 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,506 Her disease should be brought to light 221 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,134 so that it could be understood rather than made fun of. 222 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,136 Ooh, and, uh, what disease is that? 223 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,762 Principal Victoria, 224 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:54,057 Nurse Gollum has conjoined twin myslexia. 225 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,767 What's that? 226 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,227 - She has a dead fetus attached to her head. 227 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,729 [gasps] She does? 228 00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:00,689 You, uh--you never noticed that? 229 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,441 No, I never did. 230 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,693 Well, that's exactly what I'm talking about. 231 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,112 This poor woman is forced to live in the shadows 232 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,114 because she feels like an outcast. 233 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,241 It is up to us to make her feel comfortable 234 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,076 and welcome in our town. 235 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:16,413 Did you say a fetus sticking out from her head? 236 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,499 I want to invite your nurse to a dinner party 237 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,501 at my house this evening. 238 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:23,337 I'd appreciate it if both you and Mr. Mackey would attend. 239 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,255 Do we have to eat kosher stuff? 240 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,715 Well, I'll talk to Nurse Gollum, 241 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,966 but I'm sure she'll be delighted. 242 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,051 Let's say around 8:00? 243 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,886 Wonderful. 244 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,055 Now, you did say she has a fetus on her head? 245 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,267 Okay, children, 246 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:40,854 now who's gonna win the state finals? 247 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,648 Denver? 248 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,566 ♪ Here we go, Cows, here we go, uh, uh ♪ 249 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,693 ♪ Here we go Cows, here we go ♪ 250 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:47,819 ♪ Uh, uh ♪ 251 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,449 I think we need to get off on this exit. 252 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,451 Sit down, kid! 253 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,495 But it's quicker to get to the Denver school that way. 254 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,164 Do you want an office referral? 255 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,999 How many times do I have to explain this to you? 256 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,584 I'm not a student. 257 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,752 You can't give me an office referral. 258 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,504 I said, sit down! 259 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:06,630 Yes, ma'am. 260 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,513 Whoa, dude, this is a school? 261 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,139 Hello there. I'm Bob Thomas, 262 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,933 the coach for the Denver Cougars. 263 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,060 I'm Chef, coach of the South Park Cows. 264 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,478 Well, I certainly want to thank you 265 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,021 for bringing your team down. 266 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,731 Apparently nobody else would play us 267 00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,066 because they knew we'd just beat them silly. 268 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,985 So I told the school board 269 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,194 to find me some hick school from the mountains, 270 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,529 and here you are. 271 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,530 You're from South Park, yeah? 272 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,323 Yeah. 273 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,992 My God, amazing where people can live nowadays. 274 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,910 Well, we might as well get this over with, 275 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,453 we got to start thinking about D.C. 276 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,914 Promise we won't make it too painful. 277 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,165 [whistle chirps] 278 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:43,292 - Play ball! 279 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,553 So where did you get your degree, Nurse Gollum? 280 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,804 Colorado State. 281 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,431 [together] Oh! 282 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,478 Sheila, could you pass me the dead fetus? 283 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,730 I mean, gravy. 284 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,815 Ow! 285 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,237 [grunts] 286 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,488 Damn it, come on! 287 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,449 Somebody catch the ball! 288 00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:16,825 All right, boys, just five more 289 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,952 of the little bastards to go! 290 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,372 I caught it. I caught it! 291 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,999 Aw, that's not fair. 292 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,250 He's so fat, it stuck in his belly. 293 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,960 South Park on offense! 294 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,212 Great job, children, just stay focused now. 295 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,297 Go for it, Pip. 296 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,798 Oh, bother. 297 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:32,799 Come on, you Frenchy little frog! 298 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,259 [yells] 299 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,553 Whoa, great shot, Pip! 300 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,932 So I hear that the South Park Cows 301 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,518 are playing for the state finals in dodgeball tonight. 302 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,313 Yeah, but, you know, it doesn't matter, though. 303 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,815 The Denver team always wins, okay. 304 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,233 Oh, I don't know. 305 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:51,777 I think our boys might just have the dead fetus to win. 306 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,236 Heart! 307 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,988 Gerald, keep your damn mouth shut! 308 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,740 It's okay, Ms. Broflovski, really. 309 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,241 - Please forgive us. 310 00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,743 I'm terribly sorry, Nurse Gollum. 311 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:00,994 No, I'm quite secure with it. 312 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,746 - I have felt so bad 313 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,581 ever since I heard the boys making fun of you. 314 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,041 They're just young boys. 315 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,501 Joking is a way for them to come to terms 316 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,044 with what they don't understand. 317 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,712 Could I get some more pork? 318 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,047 So did you ever think of just, you know, 319 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,049 having it cut off? 320 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,717 Yes, Principal Victoria, the thought had occurred to me. 321 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,427 Unfortunately, it would mean my death. 322 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,096 Oh, so I suppose that's out. 323 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,555 How about a hat, then? 324 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,099 No, really-- 325 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,725 Yes, we could get you a few hats, 326 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,602 and wear a different one every day--no big whoop. 327 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,270 I really appreciate what you're trying to do here, 328 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,647 but it's not necessary. 329 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,731 I'm a pretty happy person. 330 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,608 I've got it! 331 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,485 We could set aside a whole week to make the public aware 332 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,320 of folks just like you! 333 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,905 Oh, yes. 334 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,532 A conjoined twin myslexia awareness week. 335 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,783 You know, that has a nice ring. 336 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,535 But I don't think-- 337 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,328 The school could put out pamphlets, okay. 338 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,956 And we could have seminars to educate, okay. 339 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,749 Oh, this is so exciting! 340 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,128 I'm gonna get the mayor on the phone right now! 341 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,220 You got just one more, Pip. 342 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,014 You get this kid, and we are state champions. 343 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,891 Yeah, and if you don't, 344 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,477 you're a big dumb-ass European hippie piece of crap! 345 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,730 Get him, Frenchy. - [yells] 346 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,231 [grunts] 347 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,733 South Park wins! 348 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,860 We did it, children! We did it. 349 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,820 We're going to Washington D.C.! 350 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,823 [sobbing] Owee, it hurts. 351 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:20,991 Owee! 352 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:23,702 Mommy, it hurts, it hurts! 353 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,747 [laughter] 354 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,625 [applause] 355 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,628 Oh, sorry about whupping your ass there, Coach! 356 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:37,632 ♪ Ooh, baby, come on, just whupped in the ass ♪ 357 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,886 ♪ Gonna need some cream for your ass ♪ 358 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,471 ♪ It's all swollen and red ♪ 359 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,181 Ladies and gentlemen, 360 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,725 this is indeed a great week for South Park. 361 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,436 Miss Hermans has opened the east wing of the library, 362 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:53,064 and our own South Park Cows elementary school dodgeball team 363 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,400 is going to the national finals! 364 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,402 Where they will undoubtedly be beaten senseless 365 00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:00,155 by the Washington team. 366 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,325 But most importantly, this week has brought to my attention 367 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,660 a very serious and dreaded disease, 368 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,038 conjoined twin myslexia. 369 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,040 And so it is in honor of this 370 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,042 that I declare this exciting week 371 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:16,087 as conjoined twin myslexia week! 372 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:19,007 And now let's kick off our week-long festivities 373 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:23,053 with the first annual grand conjoined parade! 374 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,722 Let's hear it for these brave souls! 375 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,725 [upbeat marching band music] 376 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:34,481 ♪♪ 377 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,775 What a glorious parade that was. 378 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:40,237 Let's hear it for the parade coordinators! 379 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,405 [cheers and applause] 380 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:43,949 You know, Mayor, I really should be 381 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,200 accompanying those kids to Washington 382 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,201 in case they get hurt. 383 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,161 That is my job. 384 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,497 Nonsense, this is your week. You aren't going anywhere. 385 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,290 - How much further is Washington D.C.? 386 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,917 Sit down, kid! 387 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,335 - I need to know how far it is, lady. 388 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,379 I said, sit down! 389 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,339 Yeah, whatever, you old, dried up fat hog. 390 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,132 What did you say? 391 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,593 I said I've always wanted to visit Prague. 392 00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,846 Oh, me too. 393 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,347 Okay, what have you got? 394 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,057 Some Hadka fish, some Gafagga... 395 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,809 I got a jelly roll. I got a jelly roll! 396 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,227 Sweet, jelly roll's perfect. 397 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,354 Places. 398 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,273 [screams] 399 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,315 [children yelling] 400 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,818 [crashing] 401 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:25,282 Damn, man, this is the big time, all right. 402 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,700 Chef, we're hungry. 403 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,702 You can eat after the game. 404 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,328 You children win this one and you're national champions. 405 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,372 Then you can go on and play the Chinese. 406 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,583 My mom says there's a lot of black people in China. 407 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,584 What? 408 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:36,585 Are you Chef? 409 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,336 Yeah. 410 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,921 The Washington team has forfeited the game. 411 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,006 Congratulations, you're national champions. 412 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,299 What? 413 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,592 We did it! Children, we won! 414 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,927 Wow, that was easy. 415 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,637 Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear a round of applause 416 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,806 for the new national champions of dodgeball, 417 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,933 the South Park Cows! 418 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,560 [crowd jeers] 419 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,312 Hey, why did you guys forfeit? 420 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,147 You mean you don't know? - Know what? 421 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,523 Last year's national champions 422 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,275 were the Austin Pirates. 423 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,651 They played China for the world championship; 424 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,737 only four of them came back alive. 425 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:07,157 Chinese dodgeball players aren't like us. 426 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:11,161 [yelling in Chinese] 427 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:14,080 They do nothing but dodgeball, day in and day out. 428 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,333 They use steroids and advanced training equipment 429 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,793 to make them not kids, but animals. 430 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,633 Well, good luck, we've got our futures to think about. 431 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,092 Okay, children, back in the bus. 432 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,348 And so, at this honorary dinner, 433 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,850 we take a look back at our beloved Nurse Gollum 434 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,727 and the brave life she has lived. 435 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,395 Roll the tape please, Mr. Garrison. 436 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,773 Oh, no. 437 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:43,652 ♪ You've got the strength, you've got the courage ♪ 438 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:47,405 ♪ Even with a dead fetus on your head ♪ 439 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,283 ♪ You carry on ♪ 440 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,827 ♪ You fight for tomorrow ♪ 441 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:57,457 ♪ Dead fetus, no, you never let go ♪ 442 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,835 ♪ You're my conjoined twin dead thing ♪ 443 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,214 ♪ Hanging off your head, woman ♪ 444 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,591 Oh, that was so touching! 445 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,843 And now, friends, it's time to present 446 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,846 the lifetime conjoined twin achievement award. 447 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,307 This award goes to outstanding conjoined twins 448 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,309 who have made a mark on society. 449 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,395 And the winner is... 450 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,271 Nurse Gollum. 451 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,482 Nurse Gollum! 452 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,566 [cheers and applause] 453 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,402 Oh, boy. 454 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:26,861 Excuse me, Mayor, but I just received some news 455 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,321 that you might all be interested in. 456 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,281 Our South Park cows have just beaten 457 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,367 the Washington dodgeball team and are on their way to 458 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,452 the world championship in China. 459 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,538 [applause] 460 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,957 Okay, children, now we're almost to China. 461 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,626 I want you all to try and focus on your game. 462 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,586 But, Chef, we don't want to play the Chinese. 463 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,339 Nonsense! If we win this one, we're world champions. 464 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,341 But we could get killed! 465 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,176 And just what price would you pay for eternal glory? 466 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:53,513 Just imagine a big yellow dodgeball champion's banner 467 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,515 hanging in the cafeteria-- imagine it. 468 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,308 Dude, chef has lost it. 469 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,227 You'll be on the news all over the world. 470 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,146 South Park will finally have a sport that it's good at. 471 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,648 Oh, children, it'll be glorious. 472 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,068 Sure, Captain Ahab has to get his way, huh? 473 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,404 Dude, what does that mean? 474 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,947 I don't know. 475 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,449 Hey, isn't that kid Kevin Chinese? 476 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,242 Yeah, you're from China. 477 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,286 No, I'm from America. My parents are Chinese. 478 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:17,787 Tell us how the Chinese play dodgeball. 479 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:18,955 I have no idea, dude. 480 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,582 Come on, rice picker! 481 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,251 Hey, hey, hey! Children, that's not cool. 482 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,087 You don't make fun of somebody because of their ethnicity. 483 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,839 You don't? 484 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,215 But, Chef, you just ripped on Chinese people. 485 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,967 No, no, no, no, that's different. 486 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,344 I made fun of them because they are from China. 487 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,722 You see, it's not okay to make fun of an American 488 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,474 because they are black, brown, or whatever. 489 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,768 But it is okay to make fun of foreigners 490 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,228 because they're from another country. 491 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,438 [together] Oh! 492 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,564 All right. - Yeah. 493 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,649 [screams] 494 00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:51,362 It is with great pride that we welcome our American friend. 495 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:55,241 Now let the champion of dodgeball be decide! 496 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,493 [gong sounds] 497 00:17:56,618 --> 00:18:00,705 [exotic music plays] 498 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,207 Damn, dude, China is [bleep] up. 499 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,666 Take places! 500 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,043 - All right, let's go, Cows! 501 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,044 Let's show them what we got! 502 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,921 Okay, Tom, 503 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,298 looks like Americans are getting ready to play. 504 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,510 I don't suppose they'll have problems seeing the ball 505 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,929 with their big American eyes. 506 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,014 [both laughing] 507 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,974 Yeah, good thing they have those big eyes, 508 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,768 so that they don't have to rely on that 509 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,436 amazing American intellect. 510 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,063 [both laughing] 511 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,273 You say such things. - That's a zinger. 512 00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:29,526 Play ball! 513 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,444 Ah! 514 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:32,445 [cheers and applause] 515 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,988 Holy crap. 516 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,198 Ooh! 517 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,199 [gasps] 518 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,909 God damn! 519 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,411 Hey, hey, what you call white American person 520 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:43,206 with a PhD in physics and math? 521 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,208 I don't know, what? 522 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,584 Stupid American! 523 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,504 [both laughing] Oh, boy! 524 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,047 [squeals] 525 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,340 [grunts] 526 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,092 Another American is down! 527 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,970 It's number-- 528 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,139 I don't know. All American look alike! 529 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,640 [both laughing] 530 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,184 [grunts] 531 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,644 [cheers and applause] 532 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,271 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! 533 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,647 [weakly] You bastards. 534 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,399 Oh, my, 535 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:11,234 I haven't seen an American die like that 536 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,403 since Abraham Lincoln! 537 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,487 [laughs] 538 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,114 Dude, that is not cool. 539 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,740 You're gonna get us into trouble again. 540 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,617 Ladies and gentlemen, 541 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,412 on this fourth day of Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week, 542 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,914 all our prayers are with our little South Park Cows, 543 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,375 now playing their hearts out in China. 544 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,544 Now join me in saluting our Cows 545 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,380 and help make Nurse Gollum not feel like an outcast 546 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:36,384 with our first official conjoined twin myslexia hats! 547 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,935 And there is only one South Park player left! 548 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,438 Still all Chinese player! 549 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,941 This should be over very shortly! 550 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,818 Come on! Throw ball! 551 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,654 Hey, you want to hear my impersonation of American? 552 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,655 Yeah, yeah. 553 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,073 Okay. 554 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,159 Hey, I really, really want that. 555 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,368 That looks good. 556 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:05,371 [both laughing] 557 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,999 Hey, hey, let me try, let me try. 558 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,667 I'll use my credit card. 559 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:13,213 [both laughing] 560 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,049 Do you have any non-dairy creamer? 561 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,468 [both laughing] 562 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,428 Y'all come back now, hear? 563 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,430 [both laughing hysterically] 564 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:27,185 Oh, what have I done? 565 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,687 You know, Eric, I just realized something. 566 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,774 I've been obsessed, and obsession isn't good. 567 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,568 If we had won the world championship, what then? 568 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,029 It would only be a bigger let down the next year 569 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,906 if we didn't win. 570 00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,408 Our lives would have to revolve around dodgeball. 571 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,119 Our lives were fine before. 572 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,914 Oh, I'm sorry children. I let it all go to my head. 573 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,792 Can you ever forgive me? 574 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,379 Come on, forget this stupid game. Let's go home. 575 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,339 Come on, throw ball! 576 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,759 Hey, if you want to make him throw the ball say this... 577 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,469 Thanks, you American dumb-ass! 578 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,264 "You French piece of crap, 579 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,556 "throw ball! 580 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,016 "What's the matter, Frenchy? 581 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,269 You got crepes in your ears?" 582 00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:10,853 [all giggling] 583 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,355 [screams] 584 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,733 [all gasp] 585 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,821 [grunting, yelping] 586 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,576 And the winner is South Park Cows! 587 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,287 [exotic music plays] 588 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,038 Everyone, everyone, look, I won the game! 589 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,248 We're world champions. 590 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,000 Mr. Chef, Mr. Chef, 591 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,334 South Park is the world champion in dodgeball! 592 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:34,752 Oh, glorious day! 593 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,421 Shut up, Pip. 594 00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:37,547 Yeah, shut up, Pip. Can we go home now? 595 00:21:37,672 --> 00:21:39,424 Did you all see? 596 00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:40,550 I can't believe I threw such a ball with my own arm. 597 00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:41,676 [all] Shut up, Pip! 598 00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:46,139 As this year's Conjoined Twin Myslexia Awareness Week 599 00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:47,724 draws to a close, 600 00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:49,684 I would like to personally thank all of you 601 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,894 for your enthusiastic cooperation. 602 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,230 Now let's hear it one more time 603 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:58,484 for our world champion South Park Cows! 604 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:00,445 What the hell is everyone wearing on their heads? 605 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,573 And now let's hear from the woman of the week. 606 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:07,410 The incredible, courageous Nurse Gollum! 607 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,203 Ah! - Dude, it's the freak nurse! 608 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,413 Holy crap! 609 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:11,581 Damn it, Kyle. 610 00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,000 We've been working all week against that kind of behavior. 611 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,668 Sorry, dude, we weren't here. 612 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:19,088 Thank you, Mayor, I don't know what to say. 613 00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,840 This has been quite a week. 614 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:22,467 She's really touched. 615 00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:24,093 What I really want to say is, 616 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:26,346 well, this may sound odd 617 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:28,806 coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, 618 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:33,394 but, you're all a bunch of freaks! 619 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:36,064 Uh, freaks with big hearts! 620 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:36,856 And now-- 621 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,567 - Don't you realize that the last thing I ever wanted 622 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,152 was to be singled out? 623 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,696 I just wanted to do my job and live my life 624 00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:45,323 like any normal person, 625 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,116 but instead you've made everybody focus 626 00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,535 on my handicap all week long! 627 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,829 Look, I don't want to be treated different. 628 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,874 I don't want to be treated special or treated gingerly. 629 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,752 I just want to be ridiculed, shouted at, and made fun of, 630 00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,462 like all the rest of you do to each other. 631 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:02,256 And take those stupid things off your heads! 632 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,470 Oh, my, what an ungrateful bitch. 633 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,222 Yeah, the nerve of some people. 634 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,099 Hey, you know that nurse is actually pretty cool. 635 00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,684 Yeah, maybe that dead fetus makes her smarter. 636 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:15,478 I love you guys. 637 00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,649 Screw you guys. 638 00:23:19,774 --> 00:23:22,276 ♪ Carry on ♪ 639 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:27,115 ♪ Dead fetus, no, you never let go ♪ 640 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,284 ♪ You're my conjoined twin dead thing ♪ 641 00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,995 ♪ Hanging off your head, woman ♪