1 00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:04,130 [applause] What a great episode. 2 00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:05,423 Yep, and we're back just in time to check up 3 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,425 on Northern Wyoming bacon loaf. 4 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,176 Say, that looks bacon-licious. 5 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,761 [laughter] 6 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,596 Now all we have to do is garnish. 7 00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:13,764 [pig squeals] 8 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,141 Hey, Macon's going crazy. 9 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,142 Hold on, buddy. This one's for you. 10 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:17,935 Okay. 11 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,104 Here's a nice fresh bacon loaf, just for Macon. 12 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,647 Whoa, hold on there, buddy. 13 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,443 Not too fast now. Okay, all right, hey. 14 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:27,319 [applause] 15 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,321 - Well, all that bacon grease can't go to waste, 16 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:32,825 so what I do is, I pour it into ice pop makers, like this. 17 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,244 - That's right, you see, bacon grease congeals, 18 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:39,665 so if you pour it in and you wait long enough... 19 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,167 bacon pops! 20 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,585 [applause] 21 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,919 Who'd like to try one? 22 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,963 You, come on up. 23 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,090 Come over here, you. Do you like bacon? 24 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,925 Yeah. - Well, give that a try. 25 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,888 How is it? - It's bacon-licious. 26 00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:55,389 Well, now it's time to watch our favorite episode 27 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,266 of "South Park." It's called "Chickenpox." 28 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,935 You see, chickenpox affects you worse the older you get. 29 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,854 So when I was young, my mom would make me sleep over 30 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,522 at friends' houses when they had chickenpox 31 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,066 in hopes that I would get the dreaded disease 32 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:06,400 while I was still a child. 33 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,777 Well, in this episode, the boys 34 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,528 also learn a valuable lesson 35 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,905 when they hire a prostitute with cold sores 36 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,865 to give their parents herpes. 37 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,575 [laughter] 38 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,036 So grab a bacon pop, sit back, and enjoy... 39 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,037 "Chickenpox." 40 00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:20,414 [playful melody] 41 00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:31,133 [twangy music] 42 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,635 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 43 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,470 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 44 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,138 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 45 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,723 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 46 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,183 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 47 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,018 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 48 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,728 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 49 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,230 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪ 50 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,731 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪ 51 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,483 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 52 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,653 [singing indistinctly] 53 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,154 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 54 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,948 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 55 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,703 It's a good thing we got her to the hospital in time. 56 00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:02,331 But what's wrong with her? - It's chickenpox. 57 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,250 There seems to be a small epidemic going around. 58 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,543 Your daughter never had the chickenpox 59 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,128 as a little girl, I take it? 60 00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:09,088 No, no, she's been perfectly healthy. 61 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,673 Well, that's the problem. 62 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,174 You see chickenpox is a pretty normal thing 63 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,717 with young children, but as you get older 64 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:16,387 it becomes more and more a ferocious disease. 65 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,722 Shelley, looks who's come to visit you. 66 00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,724 Your little brother Stan. 67 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,309 Oh, whoopee! 68 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,103 You know, most people don't realize 69 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,522 that chickenpox is actually a form of herpes. 70 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,149 Dude, you got herpes on your face! 71 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,525 Shut up, brat! 72 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,776 Will my daughter be okay? 73 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:31,944 She'll be fine. 74 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,821 Stop it! 75 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:35,573 We just want to be cautious and monitor her here. 76 00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,241 [thud] [Stan shouts] 77 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,451 Come on, Stanley, give your sister a kiss, 78 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:40,703 and then we have to go. 79 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,789 And then the doctor said that 80 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,249 it's much worse as you get older. 81 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,792 My daughter is in pretty bad shape now, 82 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,420 but if she were in her 20s, she could die! 83 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,213 My God, I never knew the chickenpox 84 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,257 was such a dangerous illness. 85 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,593 I guess it's much better to get it when you're young. 86 00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,179 So tell me if I'm crazy but I started thinking that we should 87 00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:00,014 intentionally have our boys play with a child 88 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,640 who has the chickenpox. 89 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,434 Let them get it now while they're young. 90 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,060 That's not crazy at all, Sharon. 91 00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,937 Mothers do it all the time. 92 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,773 Ooh yes, when I was a child, my mother had me go over 93 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,901 to a little girl's house who had the chickenpox 94 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,652 just so I would get it. 95 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,946 So it's not such a crazy idea after all. 96 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,823 No, no! And I'm pretty sure that 97 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,492 strange little boy Kenny has the chickenpox right now. 98 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,453 Are you guys having a meeting or something? 99 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163 How would you boys like to have a little slumber party 100 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,956 at your little friend Kenny's house tonight? 101 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,208 No way dude, Kenny's family is poor. 102 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,918 They live in the ghetto. 103 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,419 Yeah, let's just have a slumber party here. 104 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,670 Boys, you're going to sleep over 105 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,505 at Kenny's, and that's final. 106 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:34,715 Oh, weak! 107 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,259 I wonder why our moms want us to sleep over 108 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,136 at Kenny's so bad. - Yeah, it's pretty weird. 109 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,096 - Well, all I can say is he better have Nintendo. 110 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,558 Well, here's Kenny's house. 111 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,143 - ♪ In the ghetto ♪ 112 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,229 ♪ On the cold and gray Chicago morning ♪ 113 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:49,772 ♪ Another little baby child is born ♪ 114 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,858 ♪ In the ghetto, in the ghetto ♪ 115 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,569 Yeah? 116 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,238 We're here to have a slumber party with Kenny. 117 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,614 What? Don't you know Kenny's sick with-- 118 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,366 That's the whole point, remember? 119 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,743 Their moms want them to catch it while they're young. 120 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:04,662 Oh, yeah. - Catch what? 121 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:07,581 Nothing. Come on in. I was just making dinner. 122 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,583 ♪ And his mama cries ♪ 123 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,460 ♪ 'Cause if there's one thing that she don't need ♪ 124 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,962 ♪ It's another little hungry mouth to feed ♪ 125 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,381 ♪ In the ghetto, in the ghetto ♪ 126 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:16,882 Shh! Cartman! - What? 127 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,133 Kenny! Your little friends are here! 128 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,635 Come play with them! 129 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,428 [Kenny mumbles] 130 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,597 I know you're sick. Now get your buns out here! 131 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,182 [giggles] Buns. 132 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,892 [mumbling] Hey, you guys, what's going on? 133 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,019 Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face too! 134 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,438 Where is the Nintendo? 135 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,482 We don't have a Nintendo. 136 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,360 We got a ColecoVision plugged in to the black and white TV. 137 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,237 Oh, my God, this is like a third-world country. 138 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,905 Throw your sleeping bags in Kenny's room 139 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,490 and then come grab some dinner. 140 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,908 Oh good, I'm starving. 141 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,539 Let's say grace. 142 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:53,002 Lord, we thank you for this staggering payload 143 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,170 of frozen waffles you have bestowed upon us. 144 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,589 And since we have been faithful to you, 145 00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,217 we know that you will send us some good fortune 146 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,803 one of these days, even though you sure as hell 147 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,430 seem to be taking your sweet time. 148 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,307 Amen. both: Amen. 149 00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:09,643 [scoffs] Okay, let's dig in. 150 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,562 That one's mine! That one's mine! 151 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,731 What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening 152 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,482 with our frozen waffles? 153 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:20,446 Am I to understand there will be no side dishes? 154 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,614 - So Kyle, your dad still bringing home 155 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,034 those big, fat lawyer paychecks? 156 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:26,160 I don't know. - Stewart, 157 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,703 don't even get started. 158 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,496 What? I'm just asking a question. 159 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,664 You know your dad and I used to be best friends 160 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,333 when we were teenagers. 161 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,209 We even worked together at Pizza Shack. 162 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,836 But he got promoted, went off to community college, 163 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,296 and I didn't. 164 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,380 And you know why? 165 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,965 'Cause your dad's Jewish! 166 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,342 Heh. I heard that. 167 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,010 That ain't why, Stewart! 168 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,054 It's because you are an alcoholic retard, 169 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,889 and he had dreams of not eating frozen waffles 170 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,807 for dinner every night! 171 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,809 Hey, is it my fault you don't know how to cook? 172 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,270 What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles, clamhead? 173 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,105 You put 'em in the toaster, you cook em! 174 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,067 You just don't know how to use spices and stuff. 175 00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,818 My waffle's done! My waffle's done! 176 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,779 - Now, Kevin, we ain't got enough for everybody. 177 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,697 You have to split that with your brother. 178 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,866 Oh Jesus, are you fucking kidding me? 179 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,159 Hey! We don't say fuck at the table, 180 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,119 you little asshole! 181 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,662 Yeah, we apparently don't say "side dishes" either. 182 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,331 [sneezes] - Kenny, honey, 183 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,083 if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them. 184 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,584 Huh? - [sneezes] 185 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,710 Hey! 186 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,672 Man, your family sucks ass, Kenny. 187 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,674 Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner? 188 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,842 Come on, let's just get in our sleeping bags 189 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:24,968 and get this night over with. 190 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,393 Cartman, what the hell is that? 191 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,478 It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it cool? 192 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:35,896 No, it's not cool! 193 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,564 Dude, I think I just saw a rat. 194 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:38,857 Ah! You have rats in your house, too, Kenny? 195 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,025 Mm-hmm. - Dude, seriously, 196 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,610 you better stop being so poor 197 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,487 or else I'm gonna start hocking rocks at ya. 198 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,780 I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats. 199 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,199 [mumbling] 200 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,325 Oh. 201 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,996 [sneezes] 202 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,626 Okay, let me see. 203 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,420 Oh, goody, you've got a fever! 204 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,338 Goody? What do you mean goody? 205 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,048 Yep, it looks like you've got chickenpox, all right. 206 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,550 Chickenp--Oh no! 207 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,093 I must've caught it from Kenny last night. 208 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,803 Oh gee, I guess you did. 209 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,471 Well, you sure seem happy about it. 210 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,640 All right, it's off to bed with you, young man. 211 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,727 [moaning softly] 212 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,187 Don't scratch it, hon. 213 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,022 But, Mom, seriously, it itches. 214 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,399 I can't stand it! 215 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,485 No, hon. - Mom, seriously! 216 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,779 I got you some calamine lotion. 217 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,114 I don't wanna! 218 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:30,075 It'll make your itches go away. 219 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,411 Ahh. Hey, give me that! 220 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:35,581 [sighs] 221 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,249 - Not too much, hon. 222 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,418 It says on the bottle that too much can be bad. 223 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,711 More calamine lotion! 224 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,591 I don't understand it, he's perfectly healthy. 225 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,468 Yeah, I feel great. 226 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,595 Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house? 227 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,805 Yeah dude. I told you we had bread sandwiches for breakfast. 228 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,307 Did you sleep in the same room? 229 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,058 Yes, why? 230 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,602 Bubie, how would you like to spend the night 231 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:57,978 at your friend Kenny's house again? 232 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,188 No way, dude, it sucked ass. 233 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,939 They didn't even have cable. 234 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:01,940 Well, I think you need to spend more time 235 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,484 with your friends. 236 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,902 Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. 237 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,445 I don't give a rat's ass about him. 238 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,322 I'm gonna give Mrs. McCormick a call. 239 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,032 Ahh. Hey dad, is it true 240 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,116 that you and Kenny's dad used to be best friends 241 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,659 when you were young? 242 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,328 Who Stewart? Yeah, yeah, I guess we were. 243 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,288 Well, how come Kenny's family 244 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,873 eats frozen waffles for dinner and has rats on the floor, 245 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,124 and we have a big house and lots of food? 246 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,584 - Well, because Kenny's family 247 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,169 doesn't have as much money as we do. 248 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,004 But why? If they're hungry and poor, 249 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,464 why don't we just always give them half of our food? 250 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,049 [laughs] 251 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,134 Oh, boy, have you got a lot to learn. 252 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,719 Sit down, son. 253 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,763 You see, Kyle, we humans work as a society. 254 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,973 And in order for a society to thrive, 255 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,100 we need Gods and clods. 256 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:38,936 Gods and clods? - Yes. 257 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:40,479 You see, I spent a lot of time going to law school 258 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439 and I was able to go because I have 259 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,149 a slightly higher intellect than others. 260 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,776 But I still need people to pump my gas 261 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,569 and make my French fries 262 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,488 and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down. 263 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,615 Oh, I see. Gods and clods. 264 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,033 That's right, so Kenny's family 265 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,618 is happy just the way they are. 266 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,579 And we're all a functioning part of America. 267 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,164 [crickets chirping] 268 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,750 Stanley, can I get you anything else? 269 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,295 Stanley? Oh my God. 270 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,548 Randy! Randy, hurry! He's burning up! 271 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,972 Don't you worry, Stanley; you're going to be okay. 272 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,807 Can I talk to you outside? 273 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,934 Kids, Daddy and I are gonna be right back, okay? 274 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,561 Okay. - Serves you right, 275 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,479 you little brat. 276 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,814 At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might! 277 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,482 - [laughs] - If I die from this, 278 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,776 I'm taking you with me! 279 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,278 Will Carol find out she's a fireman? 280 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,654 I don't wanna watch this. 281 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:31,738 I wanna watch "Terrance & Phillip." 282 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,282 - We're watching this. 283 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,117 Well, I've got the remote, bitch! [laughs] 284 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,786 Say, Terrance, would you check my ass for abnormalities? 285 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,538 Sure thing, Phillip. 286 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,082 [farts] - [laughs] You got me again! 287 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,250 That's tomfoolery. 288 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,960 [laughter] 289 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,254 Give me the remote. - No way, dude. 290 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,172 We're gonna watch "Terrance & Phillip" all day. 291 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,466 Hey! Get me outta here! 292 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,427 She was a-- - He'll be okay. 293 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,554 But it's a good idea for us to monitor him for a while. 294 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,389 Oh God, what have we done? 295 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,391 There, there now, it's not your fault. 296 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,352 Doctor, we purposely sent our son to stay with a friend 297 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,980 who had chickenpox so that he would get it early. 298 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,356 Ooh, wow, you did? 299 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,026 Wow, you guys suck. 300 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,280 Can we go home now, Mom? 301 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,699 No bubula, you play with Kenny some more. 302 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,326 But we've been playing for 8 hours! 303 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,744 We can't think of anything else to do. 304 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,412 I've got a great game for you! 305 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,706 It's called Ookie Mouth. - What's Ookie Mouth? 306 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,708 First you let Kenny spit in your mouth. 307 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,501 Then you try to swallow his spit 308 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,712 and try to say "Ookie Mouth" at the same time. 309 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,130 Sick, dude! - No, no, boobie. 310 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,507 It's loads of fun. Try it! 311 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,636 That outta take care of it. 312 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,304 You want some more hot water? 313 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,222 Oh no thank you. It's terrific, though. 314 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,016 You don't have any teabags or coffee grounds 315 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,018 to go in the hot water do you? 316 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,355 No, we don't care for that hoity-toity, rich folk stuff. 317 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,940 I see; well, you certainly have a humble home, 318 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,525 Mrs. McCormick. 319 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,569 Yeah, well, unfortunately my husband 320 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,279 is a washed-up hunk of shit! 321 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,864 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 322 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,449 [Kenny spits] 323 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,326 Gross! I can't do it, Ma! 324 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,869 Try again, bubie! 325 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,204 [Kenny spits] - Ahh! 326 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,747 You know, your husband and mine 327 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,666 used to work together as teenagers. 328 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,168 Oh, they was best friends. You couldn't separate 'em. 329 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,670 Really? 330 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,380 I met Gerald in college, so I didn't know. 331 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,798 What happened to them? 332 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,591 Oh, they just grew apart, I guess. 333 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,635 I think Stewart's a little jealous that your husband got 334 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,844 out of making pizzas and went on 335 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,346 to make something of hisself. 336 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,889 Well, that's too bad. 337 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,557 I'm sure your husband is a fine man. 338 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,976 Oh, hell no. He's a nugget of deer turd. 339 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,812 But if they were such good friends, 340 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,689 it seems silly that they don't even talk anymore. 341 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,483 Let's get them together. - I don't know. 342 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,567 We'll just arrange a little fishing trip 343 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,236 for them or something. 344 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,737 I can't say "Ookie Mouth" and have Kenny 345 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,738 spit down my throat at the same time. 346 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,156 It's impossible. 347 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,574 Practice makes perfect, boobie. 348 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,121 God damn it, where's that calamine lotion? 349 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,831 Phillip, I got good news and bad news. 350 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,874 Give it to me straight, Terrance. 351 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,334 The good news is you have a clean bill of health. 352 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,919 Oh, what a relief! 353 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,004 The bad news is you have cancer. 354 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,506 [gasps] - Cancer? 355 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,383 Yes, I'm afraid your ass is collapsing. 356 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,051 My ass is collapsing! 357 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,095 Yes. See this x-ray? That's your ass. 358 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,556 See that line? That's your ass collapsing. 359 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,349 Your ass is collapsing! 360 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,435 Will this mean I won't be able to fart anymore? 361 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,854 No, it means you won't be able to live anymore. 362 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,774 [laughter] 363 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,609 Oh, no. 364 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,445 Damn it! - [meows] 365 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,779 - No, kitty that's a-- wait a minute. 366 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,489 Come here, kitty. - [meows] 367 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,700 Yes, yes. 368 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,577 I'm back, hon. I got some more calamine lotion. 369 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:27,122 It's about friggin' time! Give me that! 370 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,874 Just use a little bit of that stuff, hon. 371 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,417 It has to last a while. 372 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,127 Gimme. 373 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,754 [grunting] 374 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,761 Gimme. 375 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,179 [sighs] 376 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,306 Yes... 377 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,643 Oh, you guys, seriously... [mumbles] 378 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,897 [sighs] 379 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,648 I didn't know you liked to fish, Gerry. 380 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,192 Oh yeah, I love it. 381 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,610 I haven't done it for a while, though. 382 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:57,944 I had to run out a buy a few things. 383 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,573 You know, a rod and a reel and a... 384 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,742 Tackle box? - Yeah! Tackle box. 385 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,911 [inhales deeply] Man, smell that mountain air. 386 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,372 What a great Saturday morning. Aren't weekends just the best? 387 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,917 When you're unemployed, weekends are meaningless. 388 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,752 Right, right, right. 389 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,629 [school bell rings] 390 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,547 And so, children, that's how you tell 391 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,424 a prostitute from a policeman. 392 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,469 Now, are there any questions? 393 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,471 Yes, Kyle. 394 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:25,764 What the hell does that have to do with American history? 395 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,015 That's a good question, Kyle. 396 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,642 Are there any other questions? 397 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,060 Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here. 398 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,520 Everyone else has chicken herpes. 399 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,647 Right, right. 400 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,691 Well, class, I'm gonna assign you all a paper. 401 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,568 The theme of the paper will be 402 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,904 "How I would make America better." 403 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,031 What? Does everybody have to do it or just me? 404 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,658 Don't worry, Kyle, I'm sending homework 405 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,326 to all the children who are out sick. 406 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,036 They'll have to turn in a paper, too. 407 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,871 Homework? But I'm in the hospital! 408 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,331 Well, your teacher sent this stuff over 409 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,250 for you to do while you're sick. 410 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,293 That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he? 411 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,337 Now, Stanley, I know at your age 412 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,297 teachers can seem cold and heartless, 413 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,632 but later you'll understand 414 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,676 that he did this for your own good. 415 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,886 Not Mr. Garrison, Ma. He really is a sick weirdo. 416 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,680 Yeah, it's true, he is. - Oh. 417 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,391 Well, anyway, here's a pencil and some paper. 418 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,976 Wait, where are you going? 419 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,519 We're going down to, uh, Happy Burger 420 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,187 for some milkshakes. - Milkshakes? 421 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,189 Yeah, and then we're going to the movies. 422 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,859 See ya, son. - Weak. 423 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,443 "So this is how America works. 424 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,445 "We have Gods and clods. 425 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:25,198 "My dad says America needs both rich and poor to survive, 426 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,700 but I have a better idea." 427 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,368 No, I don't understand it, Dr. Schwartz; 428 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,161 he's perfectly healthy. 429 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,831 He's been over at Kenny's house three days in a row 430 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,083 and still hasn't caught the chickenpox. 431 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,294 What? - I don't know what else to do. 432 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,379 We sent the other boys over and they all got sick, 433 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,882 but I can't get my little Kyle to catch it. 434 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,341 Oh, my God! - Kyle! 435 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,885 What are you doing there, honey? 436 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,261 You! 437 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,721 I'll call you back, Dr. Schwartz. 438 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,390 You! - What, bubula? What is it? 439 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,767 You sent us over to Kenny's house on purpose! 440 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,185 You wanted us to get sick! 441 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,521 Oy. It was for your own good, Kyle. 442 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,940 I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young. 443 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,442 Why? So I could be sitting in the hospital 444 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,735 waiting to die like Stan? 445 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,278 Now, Kyle, come here. 446 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,988 You get away from me, you crazy woman! 447 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,156 Oh boy. 448 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,036 Beer? - Huh? 449 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,329 Oh, no thanks, I brought my own. 450 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,247 Microbrew sampler from Aspen. 451 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,416 Has six different beers from local breweries. 452 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,294 Say, remember that time we built 453 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,129 the fort in your mom's backyard? 454 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,048 [laughs] Yeah. 455 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,383 It took us damned near two years to finish it. 456 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:29,179 [laughs] Whatever happened to that old hunk of junk? 457 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,639 That's where I live now. 458 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,515 Oh, right. 459 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:33,808 "And so that's why 'Nightrider' 460 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,352 was the best show in America." 461 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:36,853 Stan, Stan! - Shh! 462 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,563 Wake her up, and we're both dead. 463 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,148 Sorry, sorry, you know how after we spent the night 464 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,483 at Kenny's house and you and Cartman 465 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:42,609 got sick with chickenpox? 466 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,402 Yeah? - Dude. 467 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,820 Our parents sent us over there to get us sick. 468 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,322 What are you talking about? 469 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,115 They knew that staying at Kenny's house 470 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,367 would make us sick and they made us do it anyway. 471 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,910 They did? - Yeah. 472 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,370 And I think I figured out why. - Why? 473 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:54,704 Because they're a bunch of assholes. 474 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,247 [gasps] Of course! 475 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,832 Come on, dude, we gotta get outta here. 476 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:58,833 I don't know what they're planning next, 477 00:15:58,959 --> 00:15:59,918 but it can't be good. 478 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,628 "I hope that one day 479 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,381 "America can be more like Endor 480 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,799 "where the Ewoks live. 481 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,134 Endor is very cool." 482 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,929 [doorbell rings] Mom, answer that! 483 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:14,057 "They have trees and Ewoks and barbeques, 484 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,602 "which is why I like Endor more than America. 485 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,063 It's... cool." 486 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,606 Cartman, you remember how we all spent the night 487 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,441 at Kenny's a couple of days ago? 488 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,276 I remember frozen waffles with no side dishes. 489 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:26,861 Cartman, our parents sent us over there 490 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,154 to catch chickenpox from Kenny. 491 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,781 Yeah, dude. 492 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:30,782 Your mom wanted you to have herpes on your face. 493 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,325 She what? 494 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,994 It's some kind of parental conspiracy. 495 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,120 Our parents are trying to kill us or something. 496 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,288 - That bitch! 497 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,748 I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts! 498 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:39,874 - No, no, no, no. Come on, fatass. 499 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,626 We're gonna get em all back. 500 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,086 Well, I'm sure you'll find another job soon. 501 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,671 Something will come along. 502 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,715 It's not that easy. You were lucky. 503 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,967 Now now, I wasn't lucky. - You had rich parents. 504 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,636 You got to go to that expensive community college. 505 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,681 Hey! I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. 506 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,600 I wanted to be somebody! - I wanted to be somebody, too! 507 00:16:57,726 --> 00:17:00,145 I just wasn't born with a silver enema up my ass! 508 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,896 You're just jealous! 509 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,064 You're a bitter old drunk just like your father! 510 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,399 Oww! 511 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,192 Now, don't make me do that again. 512 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,944 Oww! You son of a bitch! 513 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,822 [both shouting] 514 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,323 Doctor? 515 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,576 Yes. - Where's Stan? 516 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,119 Stan? 517 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,705 Stan, our son. - Oh, yes, where is Stan? 518 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,331 You mean Stanley's missing? 519 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,167 No no, he's not missing. 520 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,335 We just--can't seem to find him at this moment. 521 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,504 Oh, my God, our son ran away! 522 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089 Will he be okay out of the hospital? 523 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,924 Oh, sure, sure. 524 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,593 But we have to get him back soon; if he doesn't get 525 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,761 his antibiotic shot today, he could die. 526 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,345 Die? - Yes, die. 527 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,097 It won't be an easy death either. 528 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,223 The chickenpox will slowly move down his trachea 529 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,349 into his lungs. 530 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:39,976 Okay, well, let's go look. 531 00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,519 she chokes for breath, the pox will move 532 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,979 through his inner ear into his brain 533 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,105 making him think he's David Duchovny. 534 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,523 Oh, God, no! 535 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,358 I'm sure he couldn't have gone far. 536 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,860 Now moving on all fours and wheezing uncontrollably 537 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,236 his cellular structure will regress 538 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,988 in a gelatinous mass of-- 539 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:56,493 So how was it? Did you boys have a good time fishing? 540 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,536 - That son of a bitch ripped my parka! 541 00:17:58,661 --> 00:17:59,746 Catch anything? 542 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,039 I just don't get it. 543 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,665 Why would he invite me fishing 544 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,417 and then turn into a complete bastard? 545 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,127 Well darling, I have to tell you something. 546 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,588 He didn't invite you; I set the whole thing up. 547 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,090 What? Now, why the hell would you 548 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,841 knowingly deceive me like that? 549 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,593 I thought it would be good for you. 550 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,428 Just like you deceived our son 551 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,347 into going to Kenny's, and that didn't work either! 552 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,558 I'm doing the best I can! 553 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,560 "My Final Solution" by Kyle Broflovski. 554 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,021 My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world. 555 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,648 He has taught me that all poor people 556 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,358 are actually things called clods. 557 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,943 I wanna live in a world of only Gods, 558 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,653 so my idea to make America better, 559 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,321 is to put all poor people into camps. 560 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,989 What? - If we get rid of them, 561 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,158 there will be nothing but rich people; 562 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,785 and there won't be any hunger, poverty, or homeless people, 563 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,495 'cause they'll all be dead. The end. 564 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,956 Oh, God, what have I done? 565 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,708 What's happening here, Terrance? 566 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,460 We're doing an anal transplant; 567 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,337 it's our only hope. - Who's the donor? 568 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,214 I am Phillip. I am. 569 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,174 Terrance, you're giving up your ass for me? 570 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,218 Just half my ass. Can you believe it, Phillip? 571 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,095 Here we are, best friends, 572 00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,721 and now we're going to share the same ass. 573 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,265 [knock on door] Oh damn it! Not now! 574 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,641 Damn it! 575 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,476 Children, what are you doing here? 576 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:04,894 Terrance and Phillip are about to go into surgery! 577 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:06,813 Chef, we wanna know about herpes. 578 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,606 What makes you think I would know anything about that? 579 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,400 I dunno, you're just the only grownup we trust. 580 00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,985 How does someone get herpes? 581 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,486 Well, you get it by sharing relations 582 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,488 with somebody who already has it. 583 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,782 You have to be very careful around someone who has herpes. 584 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,534 - Do you know anybody with herpes? 585 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,785 Well, there's old Frida, down on Main Street. 586 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,412 She has a mouthful of herpes. 587 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,080 You need to stay away from her. 588 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,832 But what if we want to give somebody herpes? 589 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,792 Oh, then Frida's the right person to go to. 590 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:28,918 Cool! Thanks, Chef! 591 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,587 Okay! 592 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,339 Wait a minute. What the hell did I just do? 593 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:35,925 Stanley? - Stan? 594 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,677 Oh, Stanley, where are you? 595 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,679 Stan? - Stanley! 596 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,601 Are you old Frida? - Who wants to know? 597 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,227 Someone who wants a favor. 598 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,147 Ten dollars a lay, five dollars a nut. 599 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,815 Huh? 600 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,025 We want you to give our parents herpes. 601 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,651 Five dollars. 602 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,153 My dad has $5 on top of his dresser. 603 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,238 [coughs] - Stan you sound pretty sick. 604 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,948 Maybe you should go back to the hospital. 605 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,992 And have Shelley kick my ass? No thanks. 606 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,660 Plus, I got to get my parents back just as much as you do. 607 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:07,081 [The Monkees' "I'm A Believer"] 608 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:12,879 ♪ I thought love was only true in fairy tales ♪ 609 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:16,591 ♪ Meant for someone else, but not for me ♪ 610 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,509 ♪♪ 611 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:22,180 ♪ Love was out to get me ♪ 612 00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:24,849 ♪ That's the way it seemed ♪ 613 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:29,938 ♪ Disappointment haunted all my dreams ♪ 614 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,649 ♪ Then I saw her face ♪ 615 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:36,110 ♪ Now I'm a believer ♪ 616 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,279 ♪ Not a trace ♪ 617 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,950 ♪ Of doubt in my mind ♪ 618 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,619 ♪ I'm in love ♪ 619 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,537 ♪ I'm believer ♪ 620 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:49,457 ♪ I couldn't leave her if I tried ♪ 621 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,292 ♪♪ 622 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,752 ♪ Oh ♪ 623 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:57,799 ♪♪ 624 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,050 Thanks a lot, Frida. 625 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,635 [coughs] Don't mention it. 626 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,553 [coughs] 627 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,180 Dude, this is gonna be so killer. 628 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,515 They're all gonna get herpes. 629 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,558 [both] Hooray! 630 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,185 Stanley, where the hell have you been? 631 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,604 Damn it, Stanley, you had us worried sick! 632 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:14,274 You have to get back to the hospital for a shot. 633 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,109 I don't wanna go back there. 634 00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:18,027 Come on, we're taking you back to the hospital. 635 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,028 Don't you guys feel like brushing your teeth first? 636 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,530 What? 637 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:21,823 You know, freshen up your breath. 638 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,658 Oh man, I don't feel so good. 639 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,076 Oh good, maybe you finally caught the chicken-- 640 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,369 [gasps] Kyle! 641 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,704 [tense music] 642 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,126 Well, I hope you boys learned your lesson. 643 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,669 Going out and playing around with chickenpox 644 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,838 almost killed you all. - We're sorry. 645 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,381 - Well, just be thankful we got you here in time. 646 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:39,882 Your parents are here to see you. 647 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,634 I'll send them in. - This itches. 648 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:42,927 Give me some of that calamine lotion, Cartman. 649 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,595 - Hell no, you guys get your own. 650 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,556 - Stanley, how are you feeling today, son? 651 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:48,308 - Pretty good. 652 00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:49,767 The doctor says that maybe you can go home tomorrow. 653 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,352 Yeah, isn't that great, Stanley? 654 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,688 Wow, cool! - And how are you, Kyle? 655 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,815 Are you doing okay? - I'm better now. 656 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,358 [laughter] 657 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,152 What's so funny, you two? 658 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:00,653 We gave you guys herpes. 659 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:02,322 What? What? what? You did this? 660 00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,198 We got you back for getting us sick. 661 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,284 We had a prostitute use your toothbrushes and stuff. 662 00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:08,119 I can't believe you gave us herpes. 663 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,204 You little rascals! 664 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,581 Well, I guess it serves us right. 665 00:22:11,706 --> 00:22:13,082 Kids, we should've been honest 666 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,126 about wanting you to get chickenpox. 667 00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,837 It's true; we were wrong for deceiving you about it. 668 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,881 Hey, how come you don't have sores on your lips, Mom? 669 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,425 Ooh, I have them somewhere else, poopykins. 670 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,093 Hooray! 671 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,887 And, uh, Stewart, I think I owe you an apology. 672 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,764 I've realized I shouldn't be so cold 673 00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:29,515 towards people that are less fortunate than me. 674 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,726 Oh hell, I'm sorry, too. 675 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,061 Oh, Phillip, I'm so glad everything 676 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:34,896 turned out for the better. [farts] 677 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,230 [laughter] 678 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:37,940 Well, I know one thing for sure. 679 00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:39,776 What's that, Eric? 680 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:42,153 We're all gonna need a lot more calamine lotion. 681 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:45,281 [laughter] 682 00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:49,452 [monitor flatlines] 683 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,120 Oh, my God! They've killed Kenny! 684 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,622 You bastards! 685 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,208 [laughter] 686 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:58,836 ["I'm A Believer" resumes] 687 00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:04,050 ♪♪ 688 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:07,011 - ♪ Love was out to get me ♪ 689 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:10,598 ♪ That's the way it seems ♪ 690 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:14,936 ♪ Disappointment haunted all my dreams ♪ 691 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,187 ♪ Then I saw her-- ♪