1
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:13,264
Marklar,
this is Marklar.
2
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:15,141
Approaching Marklar.
3
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,685
[radio]
Proceed with Marklar
and make first contact.
4
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,145
Marklar!
5
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,614
Greetings, Marklars!
6
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:33,576
I am Marklar!
7
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,703
[slurping]
8
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,164
I come in Marklar!
9
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,250
Oh, Marklar!
10
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,669
Arrrrrgghh!
11
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,023
Hello everyone,
I am Sister Hollis!
12
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:06,984
I was chosen for my mission work
to come here to Africa
13
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:10,446
and teach you all about
the teachings of Jesus!
14
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:14,575
Okay, then, do we have our Bibles
that were handed out freely?
15
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,368
No, no, no!
16
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:17,578
We don't
eat the Bibles,
17
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,580
we read them!
18
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,708
Now, let's turn to
Mark 3:19!
19
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,210
Come on,
remember--
20
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,253
reading Bible plus
accepting Jesus
21
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,423
equals food!
22
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,674
Good!
23
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,301
Now who can read
Mark 3:19?
24
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:36,347
How about, Marvin!
25
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,807
[in native language]
26
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,433
No, Marvin,
in God's language--
27
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,518
English.
28
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,064
Where are you going,
back to your life of sin?!
29
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,608
Don't you understand
that unless you find Christ,
30
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,277
you and all your people
are doomed to eternal hellfire?
31
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,537
[moaning weakly]
32
00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,506
[Marvin speaking]
33
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,392
[in native language]
34
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,690
[mechanical whirring]
35
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,738
[all]
Aaagghh!
36
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,631
Waaagghgh!
37
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,945
...And so, children, that's why
Hare Krishnas are totally gay.
38
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,118
Uhh, can I help you?
39
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,745
Yes, I'm Conley,
and this is Finks.
40
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,705
We're with the CIA.
41
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,665
We're here to speak with
some of your students.
42
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,793
You, you, you and you.
43
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,129
Oh for Pete's sake, what have
you bastards done now?
44
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,340
Ay, that was Kyle that went
number two in the urinal!
45
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,424
No it wasn't,
fat ass!
46
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,634
I saw you do it!
47
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,260
Boys, we need to
talk to you
48
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,804
about a matter of
national security, now!
49
00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,101
I hope you
give 'em the chair!
50
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,937
Anyway, children,
as I was saying,
51
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,813
the Hare Krishnas
are totally gay...
52
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,944
Oh dude,
this is not good.
53
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,237
Relax, fat ass.
54
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,279
No dude, I've
seen this on TV.
55
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,822
They shine that
light in your face
56
00:03:58,948 --> 00:03:59,907
and then try to get you
to tell them stuff
57
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,408
by squeezing your balls
really hard!
58
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,409
What?!
59
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,203
Dude, I've seen it!
60
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:04,954
They grab your balls with
their leather-gloved hands
61
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,413
and squeeze as hard
as they can
62
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,581
until they pop
like little grapes!
63
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,124
[all]
Ow, dude!
64
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,043
Start with Kenny! Start with Kenny!
65
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,878
Relax, boys, we just
need to talk with you.
66
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,129
I told you,
fat ass.
67
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006
Approximately 31 hours ago,
68
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,300
an ethnic-looking child
was spotted flying
69
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,177
some kind of state-of-the-art
aircraft over Chinese airspace.
70
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,428
Whoa, cool!
71
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,430
Cool?
72
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,890
The craft appears to have
enough plutonium fuel aboard
73
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,267
to blow up a large city.
74
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:27,518
Do you think
that's 'cool'?!
75
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,353
Totally!
76
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,729
Alright children, we just
need to know one thing:
77
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,023
do you know...
this person?
78
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,441
Hey, that's
Starvin' Marvin!
79
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,567
Shh!
- Who?
80
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,027
You dumbass, Cartman!
81
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:37,778
Now they're gonna go
squeeze his balls!
82
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,154
Oh... we
don't know him.
83
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,364
We already know
you know him.
84
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,532
We have this!
85
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:42,741
Now, who is he!?
86
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,368
[fart]
87
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,953
Kyle's making mud pies,
you guys want one?
88
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,579
[laughing]
89
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,206
This is getting us nowhere.
90
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,208
We'll have to resort to
more drastic measures.
91
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,210
But they're just kids,
we can't torture them!
92
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,045
Look, we don't know what
that craft is capable of
93
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,381
but the kid is going to have
to land it somewhere.
94
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,633
God only knows what sadistic,
backwards third-world country
95
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,385
could get their hands
on that ship!
96
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:05,055
♪ Soaring so high
above the world ♪
97
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:09,476
♪ Never thought
I could be so free ♪
98
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,480
♪ I'm one with the birds
and magic is all I see-- ♪♪
99
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,941
[Aussie accents]
Oi, look up there!
100
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,445
It's a UFO!
101
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,906
[gasps and shudders]
102
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:26,785
Oi, that's one
creeeepy alien.
103
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,830
Talk to him, mayor!
104
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:34,793
Great and noble
alien creature,
105
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,588
as mayor of the
fine planet of Australia
106
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:41,967
I welcome you to our fine...
planet of Australia.
107
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,427
Chippy, chip!
108
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:44,595
[all]
Choorah!
109
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,347
Look out,
he's got a gun!
110
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,514
Aaaghgh!
111
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,100
Wait, it's
not a gun!
112
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,143
It's a piece
a pay-pa!
113
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,895
Oh.
114
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,443
Oh, I think he's
trying to tell us that
115
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:03,697
he wants to relocate all his
species here to Australia!
116
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,199
Well, you certainly
are welcome here, alien.
117
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,076
In fact, there's
a mission right over there
118
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,410
that will take all
of your people in!
119
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,455
Hello!
120
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,960
Guess the little pecker
doesn't like missionaries.
121
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,629
[all panting and moaning]
122
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,130
Now, I'll
ask you again...
123
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,132
Who is the little boy
that took our ship?
124
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,884
We... we don't know...
125
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,594
[horrible scraping noise]
Aaaagaghgh!
126
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,638
[scrape]
Aaaagghgh!
127
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,264
Who is this person?!
128
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,101
K-kill me...
129
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,102
Do it again!
130
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,269
Aaaghghgh!
131
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,938
No, wait...
I'll-I'll tell you.
132
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,773
He's... he's a little
starving Ethiopian kid...
133
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,774
We adopted him.
134
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,775
Cartman!
135
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,776
Adopted from who?!
136
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,403
Sally...
Sally Struthers...
137
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:43,904
The lady on TV...
138
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,197
She knows everything...
Sally Struthers.
139
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,491
Sally Struthers!
Where can we find her?
140
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,493
I know exactly where
Sally Struthers is!
141
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,787
Let them go.
142
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,913
Good job,
fat ass!
143
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:53,831
Dude, I couldn't
take that balloon.
144
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,207
Another couple hours of that
145
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,458
and I would have been
totally pissed off.
146
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793
Whatever, let's go see
what's on TV.
147
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:04,925
Gentlemen, Ms. Struthers
can see you now.
148
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,053
Now I'm warning you, Bill,
Sally Struthers is a bit heavy.
149
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,930
But don't say anything because
she's pretty sensitive.
150
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,557
Oh I would never
say anything.
151
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,934
I saw some show where they made
fun of Sally Struthers' weight
152
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769
and I thought it was
totally cruel.
153
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,187
I mean, she helps people,
you know?
154
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,565
Ah, Mrs. Struthers...
155
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:20,941
Ho, ho, ho, ho...
156
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,867
Ms. Struthers, we understand
you have helped raise
157
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,327
millions of dollars to help
starving children in Ethiopia.
158
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,042
We need information
on one of the Ethiopians.
159
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,919
You must tell us everything
you know about him.
160
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,045
Doh ba-kin?
161
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,631
His name is
Starving Marvin.
162
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,050
[sniffing]
163
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,017
Why yes, it is a
"Chocolate Yum Yum Bar",
Ms. Struthers...
164
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,812
And there are several more
where that came from.
165
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,733
Of course, if you don't want to
tell us about the Ethiopian
boy...
166
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,860
Mo naka!
167
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,988
I'm glad we can
do business...
168
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,659
Come on dude, there's
gotta be something about
169
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:13,994
Starvin' Marvin
in the news.
170
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,412
Well, I can't find anything.
Wait what's this?
171
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,831
God wants you
to send us money.
172
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,501
He needs you to send us money
so we can help others...
173
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,044
Oh, my God,
this guy again.
174
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,420
Why would anybody send
this asshole money?
175
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,755
Mpphmprph mrph mrph.
176
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,840
[laughing]
177
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,258
[crash]
Holy shit!
178
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,427
Whoa!
179
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,347
Aw! Awww!
180
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,890
Oh, weak!
181
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,601
Starvin' Marvin!
- [in native language]
182
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,852
He did take a ship!
183
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,145
Well nice job, Marvin.
I hope you got
184
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,272
about a thousand dollars
to pay for my house!
185
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,108
Dude, you're gonna get busted
for taking this thing.
186
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,193
I think he wants us
to get in!
187
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,487
Kick ass!
188
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:49,988
Wow, this thing
is awesome!
189
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,240
Let's go somewhere!
190
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:56,787
♪ Soaring so high
above the world ♪
191
00:08:56,912 --> 00:09:00,707
♪ Never thought
I could be so free ♪
192
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,378
♪ I'm one with the birds
and magic is all I see ♪
193
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,921
This is great!
194
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,631
Yeah, but where is that
crappy song coming from?
195
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,132
Can we turn that off?
[crappy song stops]
196
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,094
Yeah, that's better.
197
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,762
[groaning]
198
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,682
Hello, how are we
doing today?
199
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,600
Look what I got
for you--
200
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,728
No, it's not food,
it's a cross!
201
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,481
And it has your new Christian
name printed on it.
202
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,233
From now on,
you are "Michael."
203
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,943
Can you say
"Michael"?
204
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,320
Click?
205
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,073
Miiii-chael.
206
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,241
Click.
207
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,535
Oh, well,
you'll get it.
208
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,872
Hello, brother David, do you
have any sins to confess?
209
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,874
Anybody?
Sins to confess?
210
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,585
Joshua?
211
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,921
You know, today I am reminded of
psalm 46, line 39.
212
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,464
"though the
mountains shake and--"
213
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,258
Here they are!
- Who are you?
214
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,051
We're with the
American government!
215
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,554
Sally Struthers told us where
we'd find Marvin's parents!
216
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,348
Hello there, Mr. and Mrs.
Click Click Derk!
217
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,392
I think you know
why we're here!
218
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,982
No dude, you don't want to
bring your people to Mexico.
219
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,859
There's missionaries
there, too.
220
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,736
No way, not Utah!
221
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,362
Utah's nothing but
missionaries!
222
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,615
Dude, it looks like he's
tried everywhere in the world.
223
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,365
Well he hasn't
been... here yet.
224
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,576
Where's this?
225
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,995
Wwwaaaaaghghgh!
226
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,580
What the hell
did you hit, Cartman?!
227
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,832
Oh, my God, what the hell
is that thing?!
228
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:27,753
Aaaaggghhhh!
229
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,424
Aaaaggghhhh!
230
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,097
Where are we?
- [native language]
231
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,229
We're on, like,
some foreign planet.
232
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,648
This place is rad!
233
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524
Look at all the trees
and stuff!
234
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,825
Greetings,
welcome, to Marklar.
235
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,327
Uh, thanks.
236
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,372
I am Marklar,
leader of the Marklar.
237
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,915
Uh, cool.
My name is Stan,
238
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,500
and, uh,
I'm the leader of Earth.
239
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,043
Marklar to you.
240
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,753
Cool!
- Ay, I'm the leader of earth!
241
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,463
Screw you, Cartman,
I called leader first.
242
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,964
Well, you can call leader
till your ass bleeds,
243
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:13,715
but it doesn't
make it true!
244
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,142
We are very thankful to you for
bringing our Marklar back to us.
245
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,478
Wait, I thought you called
your planet Marklar.
246
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:31,108
Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to
all people, places and things
as Marklar.
247
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,818
Well, our friend Marvin
and all his people
248
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,486
have to live on a part
of Earth that sucks ass.
249
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,862
They can't grow food
or nothing.
250
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,239
Yeah, so it would be really
cool if you would let
251
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,782
Marvin and all his people
come live here.
252
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,576
Well, there is a lot
of room on Marklar.
253
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,496
If Marklar here wants to
bring his Marklar to Marklar,
254
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706
that would be fine.
255
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,791
Just take our Marklar
back to Marklar
256
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,376
and bring all the
Marklar back with you.
257
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,877
Uh... Thanks.
258
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,842
Let's go through this
one more time Mr. and Mrs.
Click Click Derk!
259
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,927
Your son Marvin
has a ship that we want.
260
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,096
How can we get it
from him?
261
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,556
We are the CIA!
262
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,307
That ship needs
to be with us!
263
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,351
Maybe we should just take
something precious of yours!
264
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,186
Huh?!
265
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,730
A-ha! This!
266
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,314
This... gourd-thingy,
for instance!
267
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,899
How do you like that, huh?!
268
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,068
If you ever want to see this...
little thingy again,
269
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,279
I suggest you
contact your boy!
270
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,534
[alarmed cries
in native language]
271
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,535
There it is!
272
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,919
[native language]
273
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,921
Back away from
the spacecraft, children!
274
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,590
No, no! It's okay!
275
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,883
The ship took us
to another planet!
276
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,051
A beautiful, lush place
called Marklar!
277
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,053
Yeah, and the leader, he said
that all the Ethiopians
278
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,805
can go live there!
279
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,182
An alien race?
280
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,892
Have they heard
the word of Christ?
281
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,560
No, never!
It's perfect!
282
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,811
Oh, no,
those poor souls!
283
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,146
We must spread
the gospel to them!
284
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,191
What?
285
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,776
Come on, Marvin, we got to
get your people to Marklar
286
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:56,943
before the
missionaries do!
287
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487
You'll do nothing
of the kind!
288
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,239
This ship is now property of
the United States government!
289
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,492
No!
[men shouting]
290
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,496
Call those boys' mothers.
291
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,414
I'm sure they'll be very
interested in the trouble
292
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,916
their boys
have been up to!
293
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:11,917
Oh, no, dude!
294
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:19,007
You know Susan, there's so many
great missionaries doing work
295
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,010
out there in
parts of Africa.
296
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,472
We're trying to get bibles
to people all over the world
297
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,225
and what we need is the
help of everyone out there
298
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,894
so we can continue
these projects.
299
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,646
Now, listen to this, Susan.
300
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,523
One of our missionaries
in North Africa
301
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,691
has made an
amazing discovery--
302
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:40,654
a new planet in the galaxy
Alpha Seti 6
303
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,197
that has intelligent
life on it.
304
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,241
Amazing!
305
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,326
Now, we're not sure what these
hyper-intelligent beings look
like,
306
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,577
but one thing is for sure,
307
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,288
they have never heard
of Jesus Christ.
308
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,124
What can we do at the 600 Club
to help those poor aliens?
309
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,379
What we need, Susan, is
we need money to build
an interstellar cruiser.
310
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,298
Now, this spaceship will be able
to travel through a wormhole
311
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,759
and deliver the message and
glory of Jesus Christ
312
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,594
to those
godless aliens!
313
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,638
Send your money now.
Amen!
314
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,853
I want everyone to keep a
safe distance from the craft
315
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,312
until we can
run some tests!
316
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,190
Excuse me, gentlemen, uh,
Tom Brokaw is here to see you.
317
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,527
Tom Brokaw?
Oh no, the press already?
318
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,613
[Cartman's voice]
Ah, good day, gentlemen.
319
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,408
Uh-huh...
Mr. Brokaw, I presume?
320
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,285
You presume wisely, sir.
321
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,537
I'm here to get the big story,
the big scoop.
322
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,498
I understand that you found some
kind of ship from an alien race.
323
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,334
Seeing as though I am
Pulitzer prize-winning
Tom Brokaw--
324
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,546
Look, kid, did you really think
this was going to fool anybody?
325
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,256
You don't look
anything like Tom Brokaw!
326
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,550
What?
Dare you question my integri'tah?
327
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,719
[Kyle muffled]
I told you Tom Brokaw doesn't
have a mustache, fat ass!
328
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,178
Wha--?
329
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,346
Oh, I had some
bad burritos today.
330
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,768
Alright, boys, time to get back
to your quarters!
331
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,479
Oh.
332
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,023
Son of a bitch!
333
00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,191
Run for it!
Get em!
334
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,944
[all shouting]
335
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,280
Kenny!
- Forget him! He's done for!
336
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,115
He's not done for!
He's standing right there!
337
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,910
No, no! He's
done for! C'mon!
338
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,123
Nooo!
339
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:15,874
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
340
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,295
Alright, we made it!
- Okay, Marvin,
341
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,546
Time to take your people
to their new home!
342
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,299
[loud banging]
343
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,218
What was that?!
344
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970
This is the Missionary 600.
345
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,388
We have you locked on,
fire ready.
346
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,974
Turn back right now!
347
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,018
[all]
Aagh! Waaghh!
348
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,729
They're shooting at us!
- Quick, Marvin, get us to Marklar!
349
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814
[in native language]
350
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,358
Well, how'd we
do it last time?!
351
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692
Cartman just hit the button
and the ship flew itself.
352
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,860
Which button did
you press, Cartman!?
353
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,779
I don't remember.
354
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,656
You don't remember?!
355
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,240
You dumbass, Cartman!
- Ay! I was under duress!
356
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,993
Maybe it was this one...
357
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,328
♪ Soaring so high
above the world-♪
358
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,288
[all]
Arrrrhh!
359
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,834
Their ship seems to be made
out of a super-strong alloy.
360
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,586
These lasers aren't
powerful enough!
361
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,006
Everyone, the word of the God
is going around the world,
362
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,301
and all your help is
so greatly appreciated.
363
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,639
What we need now is
an argon-crystal laser.
364
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,600
You see, an argon-crystal laser
can pierce thick space hulls
365
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,144
in a way that
other lasers just can't.
366
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,313
Send your money now.
Uh, thank you.
367
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,151
Konba do naka bi?
368
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,028
Ms. Struthers, we understand
that you have a ship
of your own,
369
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,072
one capable of
interstellar travel.
370
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,036
We need to use your ship
to catch those boys.
371
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,830
We will do anything
for that technology.
372
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,378
Ms. Struthers, if those Ethiopians
make it to another planet,
373
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,964
who will send money
to your foundation?
374
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,259
Without Ethiopians...
you have no food.
375
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,470
Wo!
So chaka kuram!
376
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,639
Oh, that won't be
a problem, Ms. Struthers...
377
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,933
We have collateral.
378
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,393
Mph rmph!
379
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,020
Ho ho ho ho!
380
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,355
Hee hee hee hee!
381
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,109
I have the infidels
in my sights!
382
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,613
Holy shit!
383
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:11,948
[in native language]
384
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,620
Holy crap!
They have photon torpedoes!
385
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,914
Now our deflector shields
are useless
386
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,833
against photon torpedoes,
387
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,377
and we really need your
support on this one folks.
388
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:27,130
Here at the 600 Club,
we need your money
389
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,507
to spread
the word of Jesus
390
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,344
and build more advanced
deflector shields for our
galactic cruiser.
391
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,972
Call now, and we'll give you
this free pin!
392
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,809
You got 'em, Marvin!
393
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,312
Yeah, now
finish 'em off!
394
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,897
Warning:
Deflector shields failing.
395
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,190
Where did that
come from?!
396
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,233
Wo ho ho ho!
397
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,235
Good! Now get them
in our tractor beam!
398
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,573
Now, we've got 'em!
399
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,534
Ho, ho, ho, ho...
- It's Sally Struthers!
400
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,703
Well, it appears they'll be
going back to Ethiopia,
401
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,538
so we can go on
to the aliens!
402
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,373
Sorry, Marvin...
we tried...
403
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,918
Wait!
Ms. Struthers, Ms. Struthers?!
404
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,294
Whoa?
=Ms. Struthers, please,
405
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,088
just listen to me
for one second.
406
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,757
You started the Feed
the Children Foundation
for wonderful reasons.
407
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,885
To help starving, helpless
people who lived in a rotten
part of the world.
408
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,179
Well, it's for those reasons
we want to help our friend
Marvin now.
409
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684
Ms. Struthers, don't forget
the gift we gave you--
410
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,644
the child in carbonite.
411
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,442
Ms. Struthers, you help so many people.
412
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,112
And you taught us that helping people is what
life is all about.
413
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,115
All we want to do...
is be like you.
414
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,001
What the--
415
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,336
She bought it!
416
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,004
Sally Struthers
is saving us!
417
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,382
Now stay with me
on this one, folks...
418
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,468
Sally Struthers has
a Tiberian Junker,
419
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,012
which is the favored ship
of the Hutts,
420
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:02,642
and she has trapped
our new CBC Ship in a...
421
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,728
Positronic Tractor Beam.
422
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:09,399
So we're gonna need an
Ionic Tractor Disrupter.
423
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,402
Now, not a regular
Ionic Tractor Disrupter
424
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,321
but a Negative
Ionic Tractor Disrupter
425
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,532
to, uh, help spread
the word of Jesus.
426
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,242
I look like a fucking
idiot up here.
427
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,745
Now's our chance!
428
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,206
Wait--I remember!
It was the red button!
429
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,210
They've opened
the wormhole!
430
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,545
It's pulling us in!
431
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,303
Arrrrrrghh!
432
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,473
Arrrrhhhhh!!
433
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,693
[all talking at once]
434
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,490
Please, please, please,
we are confused!
435
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,202
You must explain
one-at-a-Marklar!
436
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,079
Alien friend, we are here to
spread the word of Jesus.
437
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,789
He died for your sins.
438
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,833
Who, Marklar?
439
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,376
We brought Marvin and
his people to live here
440
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,336
but these buttholes
followed us!
441
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,087
Brought...Marklar?
442
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,631
What is Marklar?
443
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,382
Here on Marklar,
everyone and everything
444
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,218
is referred
to as "Marklar".
445
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,802
Doesn't that
get confusing?
446
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:20,970
Oh no, watch this--
447
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,138
Hey, Marklar!
448
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,389
Yes?
449
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,390
You see?
450
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,100
Wait!
451
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,894
Wait, I think I can
explain this whole thing...
452
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,646
Marklar...
453
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,189
These Marklars want to
change your Marklar.
454
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,066
They don't want this Marklar or
any of his Marklars to live here
455
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,776
because it's bad
for their Marklar.
456
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,444
They use Marklar to
try and force Marklars
457
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,696
to believe their Marklar.
458
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,698
If you let them stay here,
they will build Marklars
and Marklars.
459
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,701
They will take all your Marklars
and replace them with Marklar.
460
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,162
These Marklars have no good
Marklar to live on Marklar
461
00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,373
so they must come here
to Marklar.
462
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,833
Please, let these Marklars stay
where they can grow and prosper
463
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,671
without any Marklars,
Marklars or Marklars.
464
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,548
Young Marklar, your Marklars
are wise and true.
465
00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,259
What the hell
did he say?
466
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,551
Wow, good job, dude!
467
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,719
Thanks.
468
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,179
The Marklars can stay!
469
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,305
Alright!
470
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,683
You Marklars must leave.
471
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,393
But you will all burn
forever in eternal hellfire!
472
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,602
Yes, that's nice.
473
00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,145
Thank you
for stopping by.
474
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:15,066
Well, Marvin, it was sure
cool seeing you again.
475
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,609
No, we gotta go,
Sally Struthers
476
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,194
is gonna give us
a ride back to Earth.
477
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,779
Bo chaka bi!
478
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,698
Goodbye, Marvin!
479
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,118
Maybe we'll come
visit sometime!
480
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,078
Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson'll
be president!
481
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,288
Dude!
- What?
482
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,580
We're not gonna
come visit him.
483
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,164
I know, but you
don't tell him that!
484
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,416
Whatever.
485
00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:34,335
[all shouting excitedly]
486
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,379
♪ I am Chewbacca ♪
487
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,006
♪ I am a Wookie ♪
488
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,590
♪ I fight the Empire ♪
489
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,592
♪ I fix the robots ♪
490
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,386
♪ Don't you
fuckin' cross me ♪
491
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,054
♪ I am Chewbacca ♪
492
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,681
♪ In need of no one ♪
493
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,558
♪ In want of nothing ♪
494
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,272
♪ I am Chewbacca ♪
495
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,274
♪ I have no home ♪
496
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,984
♪ My home is where ♪
497
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,152
♪ My spirit goes ♪♪