1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,386
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054
♪ Gonna have
myself a time ♪
3
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,889
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,391
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,892
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
7
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,354
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,691
♪ Headed on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,904
♪ [Mumbling] ♪
12
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,281
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:30,823
♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,578
Doctor, doctor, will
our daughter be okay?
15
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,329
I am sorry,
Mr. And Mrs. Keller,
16
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,873
but I'm afraid
your daughter Helen
17
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,833
still cannot see,
hear or speak.
18
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,334
Oh, no, no!
19
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,919
[mumbling]
Ere, ere my good ife.
20
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,504
There is nothing
we can do.
21
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,089
Oh, my poor
little Helen!
22
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,549
Timmy!
23
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,301
She can't see
or hear us, John!
24
00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,719
Hagh, Timmy!
25
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,013
Es, erhaps she shoul
go do an asyluh.
26
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,182
Stan, what the hell is wrong with you, I can't
understand your lines!
27
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,059
Cuz de eard
urts my face!
28
00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,061
Can we take
a lunch break now?
29
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,854
No, if we want our play to be better than
the kindergartner's play,
30
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,564
we have to rehearse
as much as possible!
31
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:04,899
Now let's continue
the scene!
32
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,609
Hello, my name is
Anne Sullivan
33
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,320
and I believe I can teach
this child to communicate.
34
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,821
Eally, you hink so?
35
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,824
Water, Helen,
wa-ter.
36
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,367
Hagh, Timmy!
37
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,119
Dammit, Timmy, Helen Keller
isn't supposed to talk!
38
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,207
You guys, we've got
a big problem!
39
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:22,917
What is it, Butters?
40
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,960
The kindergartners, I just came
from their dress rehearsal!
41
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,837
Oh it's good, you guys,
it's real good!
42
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,172
How good?
43
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,257
They've got Pilgrim outfits
and Indian ones too!
44
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,676
They've got singing and
dancing, and boy, you've
never seen such a show!
45
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,637
Why, it's a Thanksgiving
extravaganza!
46
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,930
Oh no!
47
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,515
We can't be outdone
by the kindergartners!
48
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,766
No!
- We can't!
49
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,309
Alright, alright,
quiet down!
50
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,977
Look, we've still
got four days until
the Thanksgiving festival.
51
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,979
That's plenty of time
to revamp our play!
52
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,815
Revamp how, the rules are
that the fourth-grade class
53
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,525
has to perform
"The Helen Keller story"!
54
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,193
Yeah, but nobody told us
how we have to do it.
55
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,320
We can add Thanksgiving stuff
and music numbers too!
56
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,155
Well, we can
add music numbers,
57
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,282
but how do we make
the Helen Keller story
more Thanksgiving-y?
58
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,826
I know, how about
instead of a dog...
59
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,494
Helen Keller has
a pet turkey!
60
00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,912
Yeah, a turkey that
can do tricks!
61
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,497
Yeah!
- That's the spirit, gang!
62
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,457
Alright, Stan and Wendy,
you go out and find some
musical instruments!
63
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,084
Kenny and Clyde
take some kids
64
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,961
and buy some Thanksgiving
decorations for the sets!
65
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,879
Kyle and Timmy, you go out
and find a turkey!
66
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,006
This is gonna be
the best version of
"The Miracle Worker" ever!
67
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:11,924
Yea!
Yea!
68
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,012
What kind of turkey
are you looking for?
69
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,056
A smart one that
can do tricks!
70
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,851
Well, I ain't got a whole
lot left, it being almost
Thanksgiving and all.
71
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,394
But go ahead,
just pick one out.
72
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,521
[gobbling]
73
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,610
Timmy!
74
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,029
Oh, that one's
a little messed up.
75
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,656
Not exactly the pick
of the litter.
76
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,116
Hahgh!
77
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,909
Uh, Timmy, if we go back to
other kids with that turkey,
78
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,286
they're gonna be pissed.
79
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,620
Timmy!
80
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,372
Yeah, best you not
take that one.
81
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,207
I was just about to take it
out in the yard and put
a bullet in its head.
82
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,042
What, aw, dude,
don't say that!
83
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,586
Timmy, Timmy!
84
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,005
Alright, we'll take him,
how much?
- Fifty bucks.
85
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,132
But you were just gonna
take it in the backyard and
put a bullet in its head!
86
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509
I know, now I gotta find
something else to shoot!
87
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,136
Goddammit, here!
88
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,474
Alright, Timmy,
let's go.
89
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,059
I've got a one-legged pig
if you'd like, too.
90
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,477
Aw, blow it
out your ass!
91
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,316
Guys, I want you all to
meet Geoffrey Maynard.
92
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,401
He's South Park's biggest
expert on musical theater
93
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,653
and he played the lead
in Les Miserables
94
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,656
at the Denver community
playhouse for five weeks!
95
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,201
Do you think we can make up
a good Thanksgiving play
in four days?
96
00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,036
♪ I would swear it
on my life ♪
97
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,954
♪ Your play shall
want for nothing ♪
98
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,831
Hooray!
Hooray!
99
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,751
Now, the first thing
any good musical needs is
a big opening number!
100
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,128
Something that sets up
the entire show.
101
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,923
Alright, places everybody,
bring in the turkey!
102
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,346
What the hell
is that?
103
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348
It's a turkey.
104
00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,226
His name is Gobbles.
105
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,144
Gobbles!
106
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,022
And where, pray,
is our beautiful
trick-performing turkey?
107
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,567
Um, we sort of spent all
the money on this one.
108
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,235
Gobbles!
109
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,239
Kyle, can I talk to you
over here for a second?
110
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,284
Kyle, why do you do
these things to me?
111
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,994
I didn't do
anything to you!
112
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287
Timmy saw the turkey
and wanted to get it.
113
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,914
What did you want me
to say to him?
114
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,291
You say "no, Timmy,
you can't have that
turkey, bad Timmy!"
115
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,377
Look, I know it isn't
exactly what we wanted,
but maybe we can train it.
116
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,379
He's not
gonna work, Kyle.
117
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,214
The whole point is to
make our play better
than the kindergartners!
118
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,715
Yeah, that turkey sucks.
119
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,967
Wait...
120
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,426
♪ What's that you say ♪
121
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,053
♪ A Thanksgiving turkey
is what you require ♪
122
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,304
♪ I know of a turkey ♪
123
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,639
You do?!
124
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,266
♪ During my years
on Broadway ♪
125
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,685
♪ I worked with a turkey that
could do all kinds of tricks ♪
126
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,062
♪ She even jumped through
a hoop of fire ♪
127
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,647
Cool, can you
get it for us?
128
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,899
♪ I will go promptly
and call her trainer ♪
129
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,360
♪ On the morrow you shall have
your trick performing turkey ♪♪
130
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,194
Alright!
Alright!
131
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,575
Gobbles!
132
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,747
Gobbles!
133
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,590
Ergh, ergh.
134
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,884
Hargh, gobbles!
135
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,224
Gobbles.
136
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,395
Gobbles!
137
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:13,772
[fart]
138
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,693
No, no, no!
139
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,321
Poopsiekins, it's late,
you need to be in bed.
140
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,781
I can't sleep, Mom,
I have to write the lyrics
to the opening song
141
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,533
of our Helen Keller
Thanksgiving spectacular.
142
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,784
Now, hon.
143
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,286
[whining]
But Mom!
144
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,829
I have to write these lyrics
so the plight of Helen Keller
145
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,914
can be realized
by the common ma-an!
146
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,583
Twenty more minutes
and that's it.
147
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,210
Twenty minutes,
did Tim Rice's mom
give him twenty minutes
148
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,337
to write the lyrics to
Phantom of the Opera?!
149
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,508
Speak to me, Helen.
150
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,761
Let me be
your voice.
151
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,347
Come on, you blind bitch,
channel your spirit through me!
152
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,249
Tonight, we present the story
of a courageous girl
153
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,085
and her fight against
depression.
154
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,127
Oppression!
155
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,379
Oppression.
156
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,172
Our play begins in
a simpler time.
157
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,091
Alabama,
in the late 1800s...
158
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,177
[all together]
♪ 1800s ♪
159
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,261
♪ Alabama ♪
160
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,763
♪ What a great
place in time ♪
161
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515
♪ We're so happy that
we live in 1800s Alabama ♪
162
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,725
♪ 'cause it's sunny and
there is no crime ♪
163
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,310
Now to the refrain!
164
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,978
♪ And in our little town
of 1800s Alabama ♪
165
00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,064
♪ There's a family
by the name of Keller ♪
166
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:38,774
♪ Their daughter's deaf and mute
and blind as a bat ♪
167
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,318
♪ And her parents
can't even tell her ♪
168
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,029
Excuse me, I am Lamonde,
the animal trainer.
169
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,656
Oh cool,
he's here!
170
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,033
Awesome, do you have a turkey
that can do tricks?!
171
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,868
Ahp, ahp, do not
call them "tricks".
172
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,787
She's a very
sensitive turkey,
173
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,956
and she performs
"feats" not "tricks".
174
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,126
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present the most
beautiful bird in America.
175
00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,129
Four-time prize winner at
the National Western Stock Show
176
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,840
and reigning poster child
of turkeylovers.com.
177
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,758
I give you...
Alinicia!
178
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,470
Oooh!
Wow!
Whoa!
179
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,222
Her feathers
are beautiful!
180
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,015
That's the prettiest
turkey I ever saw.
181
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,434
Of course she is.
182
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,018
[snooty gobble]
183
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,020
Okay, now we can really
get this thing underway!
184
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,689
Places, everybody,
where the hell is Timmy?
185
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,399
Timmy!
186
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:23,235
[gobble]
187
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,320
What is that?
188
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,823
Uh, that's Gobbles, the
physically challenged turkey.
189
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,453
Gobbles!
190
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,288
Gobbles?
191
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,956
Timmy, we already
got a turkey.
192
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,624
Yeah, and it's
from Broadway!
193
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,793
Gobbles!
194
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,254
No, Timmy,
the handicapped turkey
does not go in our play!
195
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,047
Dude, don't forget,
Timmy's the only kid
who can play Helen Keller.
196
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,299
Don't piss him off.
197
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,758
That's right, only Timmy
knows the part.
198
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,218
Timmy.
199
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,761
Oh, Jesus,
okay, fine!
200
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,430
Helen Keller can
have two pet turkeys!
201
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,724
[indignant gobbling]
202
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,143
My turkey does not work
with other turkeys!
203
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,769
Oh, goddammit,
now what are we gonna do?
204
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,112
Alright, alright.
[angry gobbling]
205
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,739
Alright, alright!
206
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,657
Dude, we need your
turkey for our play!
207
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,701
She's not coming out,
she's very upset.
208
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,328
She's pooped
all over the room.
209
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,787
I know, I know,
but listen.
210
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,372
Let me try to explain
the position I'm in here.
211
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,208
The retarded turkey
belongs to our friend Timmy,
212
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,293
and Timmy is
the only person who knows
the part of Helen Keller.
213
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,170
So tell me what I can do here
to make everybody happy.
214
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,881
Kill the other turkey.
215
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,716
I can't, dude,
Timmy has a boner for it.
216
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,134
Well, it could
meet with an...
217
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,761
...unfortunate accident.
218
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,095
Unfortunate accident?
219
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,722
You mean like Geena Davis
getting her own T.V. Show?
220
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,224
Ha ha ha-- oh...
221
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892
It's very simple.
222
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,393
Either that turkey meets with
an unfortunate accident,
223
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,854
or you don't have
a feat-performing turkey
224
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147
for your Helen Keller
Thanksgiving musical!
225
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,358
Alright, alright,
just get your turkey
226
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,027
to stop crapping all over
the dressing room and
come out for rehearsal.
227
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,487
I'll take care
of everything.
228
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,240
Water, Helen,
it has a name!
229
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,408
Oh, why can't
you understand?!
230
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,702
Duh, agh!
231
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,329
♪ Wat-er he-len
wa-ter ♪
232
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,455
♪ She's never gonna do it ♪
233
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,831
♪ There's no way
she'll ever do it ♪
234
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,875
♪ Spell it Helen
water Helen ♪
235
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,960
♪ How can she talk
if she can't hear ♪
236
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,503
♪ This is absolutely
pointless ♪
237
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,921
Okay, uh, hold it!
238
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,548
Let's hold it
right there a second.
239
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,092
Okay, I just want
to adjust some of
the blocking real quick.
240
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,802
Let's see...
241
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,804
Uh, why don't we have
turkey number two
242
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,932
stand just a little
more over m'yha...
243
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,143
Let's see, maybe a little bit
more up in m'yha...
244
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,772
And just a wee bit
over m'yha...
245
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,817
And right about...
246
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,860
M'hya.
247
00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:31,029
There we go,
good.
248
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,034
[lines snapping and
glass shattering]
249
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,995
Oh my gah,
they killed Kenny!
250
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,454
Ooohhh!
251
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,956
Crap, I must have rigged
the wrong light.
252
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,250
♪ Let him rest ♪
253
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:46,003
♪ In peace
let him rest ♪
254
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,130
♪ Why must he die... ♪
255
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759
They've got special effects!
256
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,344
What, Butters?
[singing continues]
257
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,305
The kindergartners,
they've got amazing
stage effects!
258
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,973
Pyrotechnics and
what have yous!
259
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,474
Why, it's a regular
feast for the eyes!
260
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,475
[girl]
Oh no!
261
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,935
We're never gonna
outdo them now!
262
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,270
Oh no!
Special effects?!
263
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,980
Calm down, calm down!
264
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,481
We can have
special effects too!
265
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,025
Now I know a lot
is going wrong,
266
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,860
but we've got to stick together
to make this play work.
267
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,862
All of us.
268
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,448
♪ And into your hands... ♪
269
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,248
Gobbles!
270
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,000
Aaahh, Gobbles!
271
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,878
Little boy!
272
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,171
Timmy.
273
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,589
Yes, Tim.
274
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,382
I feel I must
speak with you.
275
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,968
The others, well, they don't
want you to know, but--
276
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,845
oh, I don't know what to do,
should I tell you?
277
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263
Timmy?
278
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,474
I feel I'm the only one
who can be honest with you.
279
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:44,186
The animal shelter
is on its way to take
your turkey away from you.
280
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,604
Gobbles?!
281
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,607
You see, they don't allow
children in your "situation"
282
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,734
to have wild animals
as pets.
283
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,944
You can't take him running,
you can't take care of him.
284
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,821
They have to
take it away.
285
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,323
Gobbles!
286
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,533
They take wild pets away
from people like you
287
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,244
and hand them over
for experiments.
288
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,873
And they're shocked,
dissected and flayed
289
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,958
while they're
still alive.
290
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,628
And no matter where you go
the shelter people
will find you.
291
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,464
The only way for that turkey
to avoid years of torture,
292
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:16,009
is for you to let him go,
back into the wild.
293
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,387
Oh no,
here they come now!
294
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,598
Quick, go and set
your turkey free!
295
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,891
I'll try to stall them.
296
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,143
Timmy!
297
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,979
Excuse me, we're here to
install the water effects
for the musical.
298
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,815
The stage is right
through there.
299
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,191
Thanks.
300
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,447
Alright, I've got to
write the new lyrics.
301
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,324
Let's see...
302
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,159
No, no!
303
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,994
Goddammit!
304
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,287
♪ How is it going Eric ♪
305
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,164
Terrible, I can't write
the lyrics for the third act.
306
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,083
Nothing's coming to me!
307
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,085
Well, you know,
in theater sometimes
we try different tricks
308
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,628
to get the creative
juices flowing.
309
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,088
Like what?
310
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,257
Let's see, Helen Keller
was blind and deaf,
311
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,467
perhaps you should see
what it is like.
312
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,219
♪ Deprive yourself
of your senses ♪
313
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,596
♪ And see what plays
inside your mind ♪
314
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,431
Here.
315
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,015
Hey, that's not
a bad idea.
316
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,892
♪ Just relax ♪
317
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,228
♪ Just try to let
your mind wander and
let the juices flow ♪
318
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,423
Oh, man!
319
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,091
Well, did you
see anything?
320
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,051
No, just the same old
crap I always see
when I close my eyes.
321
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,678
Oh, that's too bad.
322
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,388
Wait, I've got it!
323
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,640
The perfect setup for when
Helen Keller's pet turkey
324
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,017
jumps through
the hoop of fire!
325
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,351
Yes!
326
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,060
Yes, I have it now!
327
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,277
The only way for that turkey
to avoid years of torture,
328
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,613
is for you to let him go.
329
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,114
[echoing]
Let him go...
Let him go.
330
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,828
Gobbles.
331
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,208
Gobbles!
332
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,668
[gobbles]
333
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,128
Gobbles.
334
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,005
Gobbles!
335
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,510
Gobbles!
336
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846
Timmy.
337
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181
Timmy, Gobbles.
338
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,152
Daddy, why did mommy leave
and go to heaven?
339
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,988
She didn't want to, Kevin,
she had no choice.
340
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,032
But I miss her.
341
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,284
[crying]
342
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,080
I could have done so much
more with my life, son.
343
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,581
I've wasted it.
344
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,291
I've wasted it.
345
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,210
Not ever telling
you and Monica
346
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,087
I love you.
347
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,422
[sobbing]
348
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,299
Robbie!
349
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,385
Robbie, no!
350
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,888
Because now every time
I look at you...
351
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,015
I see her.
352
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,809
I have to move on.
353
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,227
Kelly, please,
don't do this.
354
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,520
I'm sorry!
355
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,313
Then why did you do it?
356
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,107
I don't know!
357
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:20,318
[sobbing]
358
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,488
Have you done the right
things in your life?
359
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,748
Hi, Sheila!
360
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333
Hello, Sharon,
where's your husband?
361
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,043
He's in the back.
362
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,337
He set up a video camera
so that he could tape
the performance.
363
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,172
Oh, so did Gerald.
364
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,467
Oh yeah, I got
a great angle here.
365
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,052
Hey Gerald,
maybe after the show
366
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,388
we can make copies of
each other's tapes,
so we have both.
367
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,347
Good idea!
368
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,807
So wait...
369
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,350
Do we do the spin around thing
on the last beat?
370
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,643
No, ude, on ne n
and ne hree.
371
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:54,978
You ready for
the big show, Timmy?
372
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,271
Where's Gobbles, Timmy?
373
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,522
Gobbles.
374
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,524
Alright, everybody,
let's take our places!
375
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,942
Cartman, where is
Timmy's turkey?
376
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,485
I don't know.
377
00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,613
I don't know,
you guys!
378
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,032
Alright, maybe I tried
to have Timmy's turkey
crushed by a stagelight,
379
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,117
but I didn't do anything else,
I'm not an asshole!
380
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,619
You're going to
be brilliant!
381
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,829
You sexy,
gorgeous turkey.
382
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,414
With that other meddling
animal out of the way,
383
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,207
you'll steal the show!
384
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:16,583
[haughty gobble]
385
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,927
Well, well, what are
you doing out here?
386
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,720
You shouldn't be out
walking the streets.
387
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,096
[gobble]
388
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:51,910
Hello, parents, and welcome to
the 13th Annual South Park
Thanksgiving pageant.
389
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,037
Every year the 4th graders
do "The Miracle Worker",
390
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,206
and every year I have to
sit and watch it.
391
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,541
Yeah, I swore that if I had
to see it one more time,
392
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377
I'd put a bullet
in my head.
393
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,796
But luckily I got really
stoned before I came.
394
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,548
And now here it is,
the touching story
of Helen Keller,
395
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,675
"The Miracle Worker".
396
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,847
[all together]
♪ Helen Keller Helen Keller
blind as a bat ♪
397
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,891
♪ She can't hear or speak
what's up with that ♪
398
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,559
This is
"The Miracle Worker"?
399
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:17,686
I...
400
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,270
Well, maybe.
401
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,899
Ohh-oh, ha-ha,
wow!
402
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,573
[gobbling]
403
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,746
Come on,
ya, move it!
404
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,492
Holy crow,
look, boys!
405
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,202
A real live
wild turkey!
406
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,620
[gobble]
407
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:18,997
it's trying to
outsmart us!
408
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,123
Come on, fellas!
409
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,377
♪ John come quick
our little baby's very sick ♪
410
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,670
♪ When I snap
she doesn't flinch ♪
411
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,838
♪ I wave
she doesn't move an inch ♪
412
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,840
♪ Wha else an it be
arlin you are aring me ♪
413
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,383
She can't hear me,
John, watch!
414
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,259
Helen!
Helen!
415
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,761
Helen!
416
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,596
♪ I think our baby's deaf
and blind oh nooooo ♪
417
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:35,930
Oh no!
418
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,515
♪ Oh no
oh nooooooo ♪♪
419
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,871
She's brilliant,
everyone loves her so far!
420
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,915
Hey, the fountains you guys
installed are shorting out
some of our lights!
421
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,708
Look, we're only here to
do the water effects.
422
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,085
We're not in charge
of electrical.
423
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,628
That's a different union.
424
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,129
Timmy?
425
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,881
Union mafia bastards!
426
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,800
Oh, ha-ha.
427
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,968
Well, look, Tim,
all's fair in love
and theater, right?
428
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,095
Ha, ha.
429
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,596
Gobbles!
430
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,393
Where is Timmy,
he's on in one minute!
431
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:23,937
He's gone, dude, Butters
says he saw him leave.
432
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,230
Leave, leave?!
433
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,148
But nobody else knows
the part of Helen Keller!
434
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,983
I do,
I know the part.
435
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,985
If I must,
I can go on.
436
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:34,072
Alright, fine,
get in costume!
437
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,865
Gobbles!
438
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,575
Gobbles!
439
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,455
There it is!
440
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,624
Hey, hey, I saw it first,
I get the first shot!
441
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,459
Here, turkey-turkey.
442
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,046
There is nothing we can do
for our poor daughter.
443
00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,631
We cannot reach her.
444
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,134
♪ I cannot hear what
they are saying ♪
445
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,928
♪ I cannot tell them
how I feel ♪
446
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,763
What the hell is he doing,
Helen Keller isn't
supposed to sing!
447
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:02,016
♪ If only I could say
things that go on in my mind ♪
448
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,268
[crying]
Oh, wow!
449
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,936
That's it.
450
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,354
That's it.
451
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,231
Gobbles!
452
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,482
Gotcha!
453
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,025
[slow motion]
Gobbles!
454
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,195
[gunshot]
455
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,035
[whistling]
456
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,748
Timmy?
457
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,585
Gobbles?
458
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,461
Gobbles!
459
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,088
Hagh!
460
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,381
Oh, thank God
you're alright, kid.
461
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,133
It was an accident,
I swear!
462
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,926
Is there any way we can
make it up to you?
463
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,344
Timmy...
464
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,681
Yes, that's it!
465
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,057
That's it, Helen,
water!
466
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,392
Wa-ter!
467
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,727
Wa-wa!
468
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,103
She did it!
469
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,062
♪ She did it
she did it ♪
470
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,190
♪ Water water
water ahhhhh ♪
471
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,482
♪ Water Helen ♪
472
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:52,817
♪ Wa-ter ♪
473
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,027
♪ We can't believe
she did it ♪
474
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,111
♪ The dumb kid
really did it ♪
475
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,529
♪ Water Helen ♪
476
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,780
♪ Wa-ter ♪
477
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,157
♪ And now that
I can communicate ♪
478
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,534
♪ The world is not so
cold and dark ♪
479
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,455
♪ Water Helen
ahahhhh ♪
480
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,832
Here it comes, angel,
your big finale!
481
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,083
The audience is going
to go wild!
482
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,422
Oh, back already?
483
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,841
Don't worry, Maynard covered
your part flawlessly.
484
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,009
Timmy!
485
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,136
Turkey shoot!
486
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,888
Aaghgh!
487
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,932
Alinicia,
Jesus, no!
488
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:25,433
Hagh, Timmy!
489
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,809
Okay, we're ready
for the--
490
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,229
What the hell did
you assholes do?!
491
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,189
This is supposed
to be the big finale
492
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,357
where the turkey jumps
through the ring of fire!
493
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,858
Hey, look!
494
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,949
Oohhh!
495
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,951
Oh wow, wow!
496
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,205
They loved it,
they loved it!
497
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,623
Gobbles!
498
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,502
And finally tonight,
parents,
499
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,629
we have the South Park
kindergarten class.
500
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,882
Their play is titled
"Thanksgiving, Mon Ami".
501
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,175
Okay, here we go.
502
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,343
Oh, dude, it can't
be better than ours!
503
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,886
It just can't be!
504
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,347
♪ Thanksgiving dinner
let's all eat ♪
505
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,474
♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
506
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,060
♪ And for our dinner
we'll invite some Indians ♪
507
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,104
♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
508
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:13,481
♪ With an Indian here
and an Indian there ♪
509
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,441
♪ Everywhere an Indian
Indian ♪
510
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,943
♪ Oh thanks-- ♪♪
511
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:17,986
[boom]
512
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,362
Aaghgh!
513
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,699
Happy Thanksgiving!
514
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,952
Alright, see ya
next year, parents!
515
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,413
That's it?
516
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,206
We worked our asses off
to compete with that!?
517
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,166
Butters told us
their play was awesome!
518
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,168
Wow, did you see that?
519
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,212
They had a horse, too!
520
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,047
Go-bbles, Timmy!