1
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,428
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,096
♪ Gonna have
myself a time ♪
3
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,973
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,641
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,059
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,894
♪ Gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
7
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,273
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,774
♪ Headed on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,609
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,946
♪ [Mumbling] ♪
12
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,740
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,199
♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,412
Come on, throw
the football, Ike!
15
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,457
[babbles]
16
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,333
Dude, you're not gonna believe
what Cartman has!
17
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,501
Hepatitis B?
18
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,170
No, dickhole.
19
00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,213
Four tickets, 28th row,
for the Raging Pussies.
20
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,132
You got Raging
Pussies tickets?!
21
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,884
We're going
tomorrow night.
22
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:50,885
Cartman's got the bus
schedule all figured out.
23
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,262
Hold on,
I'll be right back.
24
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,930
Mom, Dad!
25
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,557
Can I go with the guys to see
the Raging Pussies?
26
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,309
No, Kyle.
27
00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,810
But all the guys
are going!
28
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,145
Kyle, you're not
old enough.
29
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,980
And those concerts
are dangerous and vile.
30
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,648
But Mom, I--
- The answer is no, Kyle!
31
00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,317
Agh!
32
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,319
My parents said
I can't go.
33
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,780
Well, of course your parents
said you can't go!
34
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,782
Dummy! You don't ask
if you can go!
35
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,909
I'm telling my parents
I'm staying at Stan's house,
36
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,285
Stan's telling his parent
he's staying at Kenny's house,
37
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,870
and Kenny's not telling
his parents anything
38
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,371
'cause they're alcoholics
and they don't care.
39
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,539
Yeah!
40
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,041
Oh... well, now
I already told them.
41
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,250
Well, I guess
you're screwed then.
42
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,502
No, it's alright.
43
00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:25,503
Just give me some time
to work on them.
44
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,254
I'll see you guys later.
45
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,841
But what if I do a bunch of
chores around the house?
46
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,093
Come on,
you're being unfair!
47
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,344
Alright, fine, Kyle,
48
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:34,929
You can go to the
Raging Pussies concert
49
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,514
if you clean out the garage,
shovel the driveway
50
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,390
and bring
democracy to Cuba!
51
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,392
What's Cuba?
52
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,478
A communist country run by a
dictator named Fidel Castro.
53
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,063
And do I have to shovel
the whole driveway
54
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,648
or just the side
the car's on?
55
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:46,482
The whole thing.
56
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,734
Oh, geez.
57
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,946
Dear, Mr. Castro,
my name is Kyle.
58
00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:55,699
I am an 8-year-old American boy
who lives in South Park.
59
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,203
... And if I had
just one wish,
60
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,913
just one wish
in the whole world...
61
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,500
♪ If I had one wish
it'd be for Cuba to change ♪
62
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,586
♪ Because I think that
all the Cubans are in pain ♪
63
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,882
♪ All the joy in the world
from sea to shining sea ♪
64
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:16,011
♪ Doesn't mean a thing
if Cubans aren't free ♪
65
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,557
♪ I just can't be very happy
that's certain ♪
66
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:22,810
♪ Not as long as
your Cubans are hurtin' ♪
67
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,645
♪ Oh, won't you
search your soul ♪
68
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,273
♪ And find a way
to change your mind ♪
69
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:31,694
♪ That is my
one and only wish ♪
70
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,071
Llamada todos junto!
71
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,449
[TV]
Once again this does mark
the end of communism in Cuba!
72
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:41,745
Cuban dictator Fidel Castro
claims he was finally convinced
by a young boy's letter.
73
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:44,582
Now the country is again open
to American tourism.
74
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,668
Plans can finally resume for
Knott's Berry Farm, Cuba.
75
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,086
I did it!
76
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,254
Now I can go to
the Raging Pussies!
77
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,631
No, you can't.
- What?
78
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,634
Kyle, your mother and I
don't want you going to
the Raging Pussies concert.
79
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,303
We gave you a chore that
we thought was impossible.
80
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,221
You weren't supposed to
actually do it.
81
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,931
But I did,
I brought democracy to Cuba.
82
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,391
We know, Kyle,
83
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,185
but we just don't want you
going to that concert.
84
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,228
But that's not fair,
you lied to me!
85
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,147
Kyle, perhaps we
handled this wrong,
86
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,607
but you need to
understand that--
87
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,775
What I understand is that you
totally screwed me over!
88
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,319
So why should I have to
listen to you?
89
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,987
Because we're
your parents!
90
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,906
Well, I wish I didn't
have any parents!
91
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365
Kyle!
92
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,493
It's so unfair!
93
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,162
How could my parents
do that to me?
94
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:24,872
Parents can be pretty cruel
sometimes, dude.
95
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:25,664
They get off on it.
96
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,208
They're evil.
97
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,918
I wish I didn't
have any parents!
98
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,629
Well... you could make them
go away for a while.
- How?
99
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,589
Well, I mean,
you could call the police
100
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,216
and have them
take your parents away.
101
00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:36,175
The police?
102
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,468
Yeah, I saw it on TV.
103
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,886
All you gotta do is
call the police
104
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,346
and say that your parents
both "molestered" you.
105
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348
What's that?
- I don't know, but it works.
106
00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,933
When I wanted to get rid of
my mom's last boyfriend
107
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,351
I just called the police,
and said he was molestering me,
108
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:47,186
and I haven't seen him
for three months.
109
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,938
Wow-three months
without parents!
110
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,231
[excited mumble]
111
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,732
But what do the police
do to them?
112
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:52,983
Who cares?
My parents deserve
whatever they get!
113
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,069
They're liars
and cheats!
114
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,570
You have to make it
convincing, though,
when you call the police,
115
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,113
you have to be like,
"my parents molestered me!"
116
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,490
My parents molestered me.
117
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,991
No, but you gotta cry,
like this--
118
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,661
[whimpering]
My parents molestered me.
119
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,454
And then they'll say
something like, "was it
good touch or bad touch?"
120
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,248
And you say,
"it was good touch."
121
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,791
No, wait,
you say it was bad touch.
122
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,334
What's bad touch?
123
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,335
Something about a swimsuit,
I don't remember.
124
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,461
But you definitely answer
"bad touch".
125
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,837
Okay-molestered,
bad touch.
126
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:14,797
Yeah, and cry.
127
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:15,881
[wailing cry]
128
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,133
Oh, he's ready.
129
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,641
Oh my God,
this isn't happening!
130
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,893
I would never touch
my children like that!
131
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,436
You do have the right
to remain silent, ma'am,
132
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,021
I suggest you
use that right.
133
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,524
Please,
just listen to me!
134
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,442
Heh-heh, heh-heh.
135
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,236
What about
my children?
136
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,404
Who will take
care of them?
137
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:39,822
Oh, now you care?
138
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,115
They're going to live
with their grandmother.
139
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,992
Their grandmother's been
dead for three years!
140
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,785
You're not
listening to me!
141
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,247
Kyle, tell these people
that your--
142
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,129
They'll never be able
to hurt you again.
143
00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,547
Cool, thanks.
144
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,049
Alright, folks,
our work here is done.
145
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,388
Alright!
146
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,391
[opening to Bob Seger's
"Old Time Rock and Roll"]
147
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:13,647
♪ Just take those old records
off the shelf ♪
148
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,693
♪ I sit and listen to 'em
by myself ♪
149
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,363
♪ Today's music ain't
got the same soul ♪
150
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:25,492
♪ I like that old time
rock and roll ♪
151
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,745
♪ Don't try to take me
to a disco... ♪
152
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,496
Dude, having no parents
is awesome!
153
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,165
I'm gonna say my parents
molestered me, too!
154
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,708
Hey, yeah!
155
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,376
We should all say our
parents molestered us!
156
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,754
Yeah, alright.
Woo-hoo!
157
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,674
♪ ... I like that
old time rock and roll ♪
158
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,636
♪ Still like that old time
rock and roll ♪
159
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:48,432
♪ That kind of music
just soothes my soul ♪
160
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:52,478
♪ I reminisce about
the days of old ♪
161
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:56,357
♪ With that old time
rock and roll ♪♪
162
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:12,915
[lascivious male voice]
The following hot presentation
is for mature audiences only.
163
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,792
You guys,
come out here!
164
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,711
What's going on?
165
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,297
Notice anything?
166
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,091
Watch...
167
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,052
[glass shatters]
168
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:28,055
Nothing.
- Yeah, nothing.
169
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,765
There's not an adult
left in town.
170
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,642
They've all been arrested, and
the ones that weren't arrested
171
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,310
have moved away because they're
scared of being arrested.
172
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,313
Not one adult left?
173
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,233
Then it's ours.
174
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,027
The whole town...
It's ours.
175
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,664
Oh, sweetie, I have
no idea where we are.
176
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,833
I haven't seen
a road marker for miles.
177
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751
What was the last highway
we were on?
178
00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711
There has to be a town
around here somewhere.
179
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,380
Maybe you're reading
the map wrong.
180
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,340
Hey, it was your idea
to take the back roads!
181
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,800
What the?
182
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,802
[engine sputtering]
183
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,054
Oh no...
No, no, no, no.
184
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,347
What's the matter
with it?
185
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,890
I have no idea.
186
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,183
Oh, we're gonna have to
find some help quick.
187
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,810
We're not gonna make it
more than a couple miles.
188
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,104
Oh, look,
there's a town up ahead!
189
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,691
Smiley town?
That's a strange name.
190
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,151
Well, it'll have to do.
191
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,736
It's probably the only town
for 100 miles.
192
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,204
Hello!
Is anybody here?
193
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,123
Oh, uh--
can I help you folks?
194
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,501
Yes, we need a mechanic
to look at our car.
195
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,045
Oh, well, uh...
I'm the mechanic, I guess.
196
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,547
What seems to be
the problem?
197
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,924
It's...
Just you here?
198
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,342
No, Craig's here, too.
199
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,677
Oh, good.
200
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,095
But he's playin'
"spaceman" right now.
201
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,638
Hey, Craig!
202
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:52,806
What?
203
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,058
Look, we're in a bit
of a spot here.
204
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,728
I've got a very important
job interview tomorrow
morning in Breckenridge
205
00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,730
so I have to get
my car fixed fast.
206
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:00,981
Is there another
garage in town?
207
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,608
Uhh... No.
208
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,151
How about a phone,
can we just use the phone?
209
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,527
Phone here doesn't work.
210
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,404
I'm afraid the only phone
that does work...
211
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,323
Is over in "Treasure Cove".
212
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,408
Fine, can you
take us there?
213
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,744
You... Sure you wanna go
to Treasure Cove?
214
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:14,786
Yes!
215
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,246
Oh, really,
are you sure?
216
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,831
Yes!
217
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,292
Oh, alright then,
show 'em where it is.
218
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,755
This is the end of
Smiley Town.
219
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,590
The only phone is somewhere
in Treasure Cove.
220
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,926
If you wanna find it,
you're gonna have to
cross the white line.
221
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,802
Well, can you help us
find the phone, please?
222
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,763
Hell no, I'm not
crossing the white line.
223
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,056
Why not?
224
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,641
Alright,
let's just go, Linda,
225
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,184
I don't have time for
"Spaceman Spiff's" little games.
226
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,435
Craig.
- What?
227
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,479
It's Spaceman Craig.
228
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,898
[breathing sounds]
229
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,913
[children]
Carousel.
230
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,751
Nya-nya,
nya-nya-nya!
231
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,336
[clang]
232
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,006
Look, there's
an elementary school.
233
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,801
Come on, there might be
some teachers inside.
234
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,221
What is that?
235
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,806
Ahh!
236
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,938
What do you
want from us?
237
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,315
Linda, it's a
remote-controlled car.
238
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,528
It looks like maybe there's
a little camera on it.
239
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,988
Mark, I don't like this.
240
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,907
Relax, Linda,
everything's fine.
241
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,243
Ow, ow!
242
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,619
What is it--
acid?
243
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,829
No, it's lemon juice!
244
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,330
Oh, God,
are you blind?
245
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,374
No, it just really,
really, really hurts!
246
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,835
Mark, Mark, look.
247
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:58,140
Well, hello,
what's your name?
248
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,850
What-what do you want?
249
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,602
We want to play.
250
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:02,936
Mark, I'm scared.
251
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,521
Don't be scared,
they're just kids.
252
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,731
Where are
your parents?
253
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,733
We already played
with our parents.
254
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:12,904
Now, we wanna play
with you.
255
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,740
Okay, I'm scared now, too,
that freaked me out.
256
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,534
We want to play
with you!
257
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,161
Get off me!
258
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,996
Oh God, Mark, help!
259
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,208
Oh no, they're crossing
the white line!
260
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,835
Ohhh!
261
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,672
Spit wads!
262
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,174
Take that,
kindergartners!
263
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,092
Eww, gross!
264
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,055
What the hell
is going on here?!
265
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,890
Kindergartners--
Treasure Cove
is full of them.
266
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,392
Alright, look kid, we demand
to see an adult this instant.
267
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,603
I got new orders,
I'm supposed to take you
to see the mayor.
268
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,980
The mayor, good, finally.
269
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:54,613
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,
won't you come in, please?
270
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,032
Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,
as the mayor of Smiley Town,
271
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,492
I would like to ask you
a few questions.
272
00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,910
You're the mayor?
273
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,119
What the hell is
going on here?
274
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,663
Where are
all your parents?
275
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,081
Parents?
276
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,207
[whispers]
277
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,708
Ah, you mean
the birth-givers.
278
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,959
They're not around.
279
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544
No parents
in the entire town?
280
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:10,879
What happened to them?
281
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,339
Okay, see, I'm the mayor
of Smiley Town
282
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132
and so I will ask
the questions around here.
283
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,134
Look, just point us to
a phone, kid, alright?
284
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,553
Heh-heh, I'm afraid
you'll find all the phones...
285
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:19,638
Quite out of service.
286
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,639
No phones either?
287
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,100
How do you
communicate?
288
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:26,853
Butters, I need an E.T.A.
on the car, stat.
289
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,734
Alright, we've had
just about enough here.
290
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569
That's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever seen!
291
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,488
I don't care what little games
you kids wanna play,
292
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,657
we just want
out of here, alright?
293
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,537
[Butters]
It's gonna be
about three days.
294
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,456
So, it appears
that you need me.
295
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,542
Which is good, because,
I need you too.
296
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,377
Ringy-ding?
297
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,546
I've got the job interview
of my life in Breckenridge.
298
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,548
Just tell me how to get
a phone or a car!
299
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,590
Spitball!
300
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,634
Aah!
301
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,094
You sons of bitches!
302
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,429
You see what we're
dealing with here?
303
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,763
Tonight is "Carousel",
304
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,557
and they will try to
kill one of us.
305
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,184
You two seem to have the uncanny
ability to cross the white line.
306
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,645
If you help us,
we'll get you what you need.
307
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,899
Mark, are we doing
the right thing?
308
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,610
Look, if getting this stupid
book will get me a cell phone,
I don't care!
309
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,071
I just don't know if
you're dealing with these
kids the right way.
310
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,115
Well, I told you I can't
deal with kids, Linda!
311
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,408
That's why I don't
want to have children!
312
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,910
Hey, I think you'd
make a great father.
313
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,871
Let's not go through
this again, Linda.
314
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,540
Look, here's the book
they've been talking about
that makes no sense.
315
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,084
My God, Mark!
316
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,128
What is it?
317
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,047
It's a boy.
318
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,217
They... killed him.
319
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,719
The bastards...
320
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:41,970
Oh, Mark,
let's get out of here!
321
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,346
Nya-nya,
nya-nya-nya!
322
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,514
Aah!
323
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,141
Oh, no.
324
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,019
Mark!
325
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,354
Uh, the fat kid
told us to take it!
326
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,023
[screaming war cries]
327
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,947
Wha-ahh!
328
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,158
Mark, Mark, wake up!
329
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,327
Nya-nya, nya-nya,
nya-nya!
330
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,454
[Stan]
You guys, stop it!
331
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,873
Sorry about them,
kindergartners
are kinda spazzes.
332
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,041
Yeah.
333
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,417
Why are you
doing this?
334
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,376
How come you wanna
help the fat-ass?
335
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,211
Who?
336
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,545
The fat-ass, the mayor.
337
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,464
Look, I have the
job interview of my life
338
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,591
in less than...
[straining]
339
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,551
12 hours.
340
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,470
I just need a phone,
and he said he'd help me
if I took your book
341
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,263
so you couldn't
kill them anymore.
342
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,848
You got "foolied",
outlander.
343
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,225
We're the only ones
with a working phone.
344
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:29,893
And if you'd
taken our book
345
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,353
then it's one of us
who dies tonight at Carousel.
346
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,729
How did this
all happen?
347
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,439
Why do you children
live in this town alone?
348
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,024
Because we do.
349
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,317
It was like this yesterday
and the day before that.
350
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,902
But what about
before that?
351
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,403
You mean
in the before-time?
352
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,531
In the long, long ago?
- Yes!
353
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,865
If we tell you, will you
help us stop the fat-ass?
354
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,201
I'll do anything
to get to a phone.
355
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,953
Alright,
everybody gather around.
356
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,913
We're gonna tell the story
of the before-time again!
357
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665
The before-time!
358
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,333
Story of before-time.
359
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126
Way back,
in the long, long ago,
360
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,087
we all lived by the
birth-givers' laws.
361
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,797
But the birth-givers
were unfair.
362
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,131
They made us go to bed early
and eat broccoli.
363
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,509
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
364
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,594
And so the fat-ass came up
with a way to have all the
birth-givers disappear,
365
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,429
by using the magic
"m"-word.
366
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,139
Mmmmm!
367
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141
Soon we were without power,
or water or fresh food,
368
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,185
but we tried to survive
under the guidance...
369
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,396
Of the Provider.
370
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,649
Provider, Provider.
371
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,318
But the fat-ass and us disagreed
on how to worship the Provider.
372
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,988
The fat-ass tried to make us
follow his way by making himself
the school principal.
373
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,865
So we made ourselves the
superintendents of schools.
374
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,700
But then he just
made himself the mayor.
375
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,119
The town split sides, and that's
when the Provider got angry.
376
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079
Boom! Crash!
377
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,665
So every night, the Provider
must be appeased at Carousel.
378
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,375
We need their book,
so one of ours doesn't die.
379
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,919
Carousel, Carousel.
380
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,338
We all know that one day
the Provider will set us free,
381
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,299
make everything like it was
in the before-time.
382
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,884
In the long, long ago.
383
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,094
Let me
get this straight.
384
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,722
If I go get the fat kid's
book on the other side
of the white line
385
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,557
you'll show me where
a cell phone is?
386
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,142
Yes, no foolies.
387
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,935
No foolies.
388
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,271
[Mark]
Let's go, it's,
it's right out here.
389
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,816
Linda, I want you to just
go back to the car and
wait for me, alright.
390
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,444
I'll go get that fat kid's book
so I can use their phone.
391
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,945
Mark, I'm scared.
392
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,573
I know, but this will
all be over soon.
393
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,999
Oh, Gerald, I haven't
seen you for so long!
394
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,208
Hello, honey.
395
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,376
How has prison been
for you?
396
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,753
Oh, it's awful,
just awful!
397
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,339
Alright, parents,
let's all take our seats.
398
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,049
My name is Scott Evans,
399
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,301
and I am a prison
rehabilitation counselor.
400
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,761
Excuse me,
but my wife and I
401
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,512
honestly never touched
our child.
402
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,722
Neither did we!
403
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,973
We didn't neither!
404
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,600
Enough, enough!
405
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,185
Look, it's obvious we have
a lot of emotional issues
406
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,312
and personal demons
to face here.
407
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,356
During your prison time,
you will all be spending
one hour a day
408
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,733
in therapy
here with me.
409
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,195
What I want you to do,
is learn to control those sick,
sexual urges you have.
410
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,113
Now we're gonna
try an exercise.
411
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:50,408
I'm gonna confront you with
what you lust after most.
412
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,036
Alright, parents, now,
I know this is difficult,
413
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,830
but I want you to just
look at this child,
414
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,249
just try to suppress
your urges to molest him.
415
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,627
Just think about
something else,
416
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,004
think about clouds
and beaches.
417
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,465
Don't think about his supple,
soft, little body.
418
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,341
Oh, that's disgusting!
419
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,550
Now stop this!
420
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,052
Fight your urges,
Mr. Brovlofski!
421
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,762
I don't have any urges!
422
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,347
I can't help you if you won't
admit you need help!!
423
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,849
Now, sit down!
424
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769
Look, I know this is very
difficult for all of you.
425
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,896
Most of you are still in denial
about what you've done.
426
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,773
To you, it seems you never molested
your children at all!
427
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,358
But you did.
428
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,444
Help me... help you.
429
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,988
Now let's
try again.
430
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,281
Look at this young man.
431
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,242
Just look...
Don't molest.
432
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,828
Fight it, fight it!
433
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,287
Oh God, God.
434
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,456
Please just let us
get out of this place.
435
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,501
I think I found
the problem, ma'am.
436
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,461
Broken window roller-upper.
437
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,380
Oh no, no!
438
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,756
Ahh!
439
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,093
Where is
your husband?
440
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,177
Uh...
441
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,804
Seize her!
442
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,017
Alright,
I got the book for you.
443
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,268
Awesome!
444
00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,811
Now can I please
have the cell phone?
445
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,396
Sure, outlander,
I'll get it.
446
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,189
[Cartman]
Outlander!
447
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,108
Outlander!
448
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,444
We have your woman!
449
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:10,405
She still lives,
outlander!
450
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,700
Outlander,
her blood will spill!
451
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,452
What the heck are you
talking about?
452
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,455
Butters, calm down,
alright.
453
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,874
Okay, so what are some
other things we can do
454
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,210
besides molest
our children?
455
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,920
See a movie?
456
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,756
Sure, see a movie's good.
457
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,174
We could see a movie instead of
molesting our children.
458
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425
What else?
459
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,676
Make a sweater?
460
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,803
Uh-huh, I'll put
"knitting/sewing".
461
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,388
Who's got another one?
462
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,723
Molest children?
463
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,308
No, no, we're looking
for things to do
464
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,018
besides molesting
our children.
465
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,519
Oh... fishing?
466
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,229
Fishing's good, uh-huh.
467
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,356
I believe you have something
of ours, outlander.
468
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,733
Give it back
or the female gets it!
469
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:47,901
[bzzt]
Unh!
470
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,110
Heh-heh.
- Unh!
471
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779
Give him
the book back!
472
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,655
No, if they have it
one of ours will die
for Carousel!
473
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:53,615
We're running
out of time!
474
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,866
Hand our book over,
quick!
475
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:55,992
Enough of this!
476
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,244
You kids are all
in big trouble!
477
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,497
[bell tolls]
478
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,460
[electric crackling]
479
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,420
The Provider awakes;
480
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,881
it's time for carousel.
481
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,716
Ha ha, your side doesn't
have its book, fat-ass!
482
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,426
That means someone on your side
is sacrificed tonight!
483
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,511
God dammit!
484
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,763
Alright,
it is decided.
485
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:19,015
Butters, your turn.
486
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,351
Oh, I'm gonna be sacrificed
to the Provider!
487
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,769
Stop right there!
488
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,479
Nobody's killing
anybody tonight!
489
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,856
Be careful, Mark,
they'll make you disappear
with the "m"-word!
490
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,984
Yeah, we'll call the police
and say you molestered us too!
491
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,445
What?
492
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,613
I'm here for you,
Provider!
493
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,989
Take me!
494
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,658
Is that what happened
to the adults here?!
495
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,868
You lied to the police
and said they molested you?
496
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,288
My God, they were
your parents!
497
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,748
Parents?
498
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,500
The birth-givers!
499
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,418
Your... Birth-givers.
500
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,920
Don't you remember?
501
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:52,048
They are your "Providers"--
not some statue!
502
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,426
And they're not off in some
fantastical far away land now...
503
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,262
They're in prison!
504
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,890
Probably crying themselves
to sleep, cold and lonely and...
505
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:04,644
I'm sure, missing you all
very, very much.
506
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,649
Your birth-givers
took care of you.
507
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,902
That's what their laws
and their rules were for,
because they love you,
508
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,697
and they didn't want you to
end up living like, like this.
509
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,241
He won't take care of you.
510
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:23,746
Your parents,
your... Providers, will.
511
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,415
Parents...
512
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,334
Mom, Dad.
513
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,170
Oh boy,
here it comes!
514
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,131
If you want things to be the way
they were in the before-time,
515
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,383
in the long, long ago,
516
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,304
you all need to call the police
and tell them you lied
about the m-word.
517
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,431
He's right, dude.
518
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,558
Things were a lot better
with our parents around.
519
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,852
Yeah, I guess their rules
did have a point.
520
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,438
Things have gotten
a lot worse in the 10 days
since they've been gone.
521
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273
10 days?
522
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,192
It's only been 10 days
since they left?
523
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,610
[Cartman]
Take him down.
524
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,944
Hey, what are you doing?
525
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,654
I'm ready to give myself
to Mr. Elway!
526
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,697
Here's our
cell phone, dude,
527
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,782
Will you call the
police for us?
528
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,869
Hey, looks like you're not so
bad with kids after all.
529
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,537
Yeah, I guess you're right.
530
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:05,997
Maybe we should
have some.
531
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,540
Yeah, right,
after all this?
532
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,043
I'm getting my
tubes tied tomorrow!
533
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,093
Come on, you guys, our parents
are gonna be back any minute.
534
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,845
Do you think they're gonna
be pissed at us for lying
that they molested us
535
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,680
and sending them all
to jail for 10 days?
536
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:23,681
Well, they can't be
too pissed off,
537
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,266
I mean, we made them
a banner.
538
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,392
Hey, kids!
539
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,518
Hey, you guys
came back!
540
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:28,436
Did you make it to
your job interview?
541
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,313
Yeah, I got the job.
542
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,482
You're looking at
the new manager of Denny's
in Breckenridge.
543
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,067
And I got
my tubes tied!
544
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,485
Alright!
545
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,028
Well, thanks for
everything, you guys.
546
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,446
You really helped us see
how important parents are.
547
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,530
Yeah!
548
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,491
Hey, here they come!
549
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,119
Mom, Dad!
550
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,746
Kids!
551
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,500
Come here, come here.
552
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,378
Oh, Kyle,
Ike sweetie, you're okay!
553
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,338
Yeah, we're fine.
554
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:58,091
Kyle, we're so sorry for
the horrible sexual abuse
over the years.
555
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,676
But we're all
better now.
556
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,927
But, you didn't
do anything to me.
557
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,470
Ahp-we did.
558
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,596
We've come to terms with it
through therapy
559
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,973
and learned
to admit it.
560
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,392
It won't happen again!
But, you guys, I--
561
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,311
Oh, Stanley, I wish
we could take back
all the years of abuse,
562
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,646
but we can't.
563
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,564
We've learned to
overcome it, son,
564
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,607
you'll see.
565
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,317
We love you, son,
566
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,653
but we only love you in
a platonic way, from now on!
567
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,488
What the heck are you
talking about?
568
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,490
Kenny, Kenny,
we're sorry.
569
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,075
Where is he?
570
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,952
Everything's gonna be
alright now, Jenny.
571
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,538
Come on, let's go home.
572
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,957
Huh.
Huh.
573
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,667
Well, what are you kids
gonna do now?
574
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,876
I dunno.
575
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,169
You guys wanna go
build a snow igloo?
576
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,170
Sure.
577
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,089
Snow igloos
kick ass.