1
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,428
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,221
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,181
Both: ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,641
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,892
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,145
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:20,688
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,231
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,524
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,818
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,904
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,156
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,116
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:34,869
♪ Do do do doo ♪
15
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:37,329
♪ Da da da da daa
ya da da daa ♪
16
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,290
♪ Do do doo
da da daa ♪
17
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,417
♪ Hey-de hey-de
how's it going, guys ♪
18
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,210
What the hell you
so happy about, fat ass?
19
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,754
Oh, nothing,
no big deal, really.
20
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,338
What's no big deal?
21
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,090
Well, guys, it seems
that I am the first one of us
22
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,134
to reach manhood
after all.
23
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,927
What the hell
are you talking about?
24
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,804
Well, because
unlike you guys,
25
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,098
I just got
my first pubes.
26
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,184
♪ Ya da da da
ya da da dee ♪
27
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,019
[muffled] You got pubes?
- What's pubes?
28
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,854
Pubic hair. He's saying
he got his first pubic hair.
29
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,230
Oh.
No, you didn't!
30
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,316
Oh, yes, I did.
I'm becoming a man.
31
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:06,609
He's lying.
32
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,777
You wanna see 'em?
- Hell, no!
33
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,028
Here, check 'em out.
34
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,196
We don't wanna
see them, Cartman!
35
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,363
There, see?
36
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:12,948
How do you like
them apples?
37
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,075
Ha!
38
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,367
What are those?
- My pubes.
39
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,036
What?
- I got 'em from Scott Tenorman.
40
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,454
Scott Tenorman--
the ninth grader?
41
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,498
Yep, he let me have 'em
for just 10 bucks.
42
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,041
Ha, ha, ha!
43
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,167
♪ I got pubes
before you guys did ♪
44
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,668
♪ I got pubes
before you guys ♪
45
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,462
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha ♪
46
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,464
Cartman, you are so goddamn
stupid, it's unbelievable.
47
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,633
Ah-ha,
don't be jealous, guys.
48
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,343
This doesn't mean
we can't still hang out.
49
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,345
It just means
that I matured faster than you.
50
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,388
You'll get your pubes,
guys, someday.
51
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,349
Cartman, you don't buy pubes,
you grow them yourself.
52
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:39,391
Wh-what?
53
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:40,976
When you get
old enough,
54
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,436
you grow your own pubic hair
that's attached to you,
55
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:43,562
you fucking dumbass!
56
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,190
Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh.
57
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,983
But then why would
Scott Tenorman
58
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,610
sell me his pubes for $10?
59
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,195
Because, retard,
you're dumb enough
60
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,949
to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes
for $10.
61
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:56,659
You're telling me these pubes
are worth nothing?
62
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,160
Yeah.
63
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,370
I'm gonna get
that son of a bitch.
64
00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:01,163
And so I told him,
I said,
65
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,290
"Here, I'll sell you my pubes
for only 10 bucks."
66
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,708
And the stupid asshole
buys them.
67
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,001
[both laughing]
68
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,837
Speak of the devil.
What do you want?
69
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,338
Uh, yes, I've come
to return these pubes
70
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,464
that I purchased, please.
71
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:11,757
Uh-uh,
I don't take returns.
72
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,259
Right, but you see,
73
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,010
I didn't realize when I bought
these pubes from you
74
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,303
that you were
full of shit,
75
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,888
so you can either
give me back my $10,
76
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,765
or I can go
tell my mom on you.
77
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,100
You would actually
tell your mom
78
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,060
that you were stupid enough
to pay for my pubes?
79
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,395
Uh-uh,
I don't think so.
80
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,354
Just give me back
my money.
81
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,647
Buyer beware, dude.
82
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:27,940
Give me my $10, Scott.
83
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,316
Hey, I said no.
84
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,818
Now, get your fat little butt
out of here
85
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,612
before I kick
your head in.
86
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,951
[doorbell rings]
87
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,536
Hello, sir, my name
is Kris Kristofferson.
88
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,371
I'm with the IRS.
89
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,957
I'm here to collect $10
that you owe in back taxes.
90
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,292
You're not
from the IRS.
91
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,252
You glued my pubes
onto your face.
92
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:51,130
Tax evasion
is a very serious offense, sir.
93
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,007
I suggest that you--
all right, all right.
94
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,592
I'll trade you my pubes back
for the money.
95
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,177
You will?
Oh, cool!
96
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,804
How much did I charge?
Oh, yeah, $10.
97
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,181
You got change
for a $20?
98
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,807
Oh, uh...
99
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,268
I only got $6.12.
100
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,395
Oh, well, that's okay.
101
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,439
Here, just give me
the $6.
102
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,649
And then I'll give you the $20.
- Okay.
103
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,693
Now, give me the pubes,
and I'll give you back $2.
104
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,236
- Right.
Now, give me the 12ȼ.
105
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,946
And I'll give you the rest
of your change back.
106
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,740
Cool.
107
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,283
And then give me the $20,
and I'll give you the pubes.
108
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:20,659
Sweet!
109
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,952
Uh--
ah, God damn it!
110
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,997
That asshole.
111
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,415
That big, smelly,
ass-sniffing asshole.
112
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,708
I'm gonna get him!
113
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,876
Cartman, can I give you
some advice?
114
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,502
What?
- Just let it go, dude.
115
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:33,589
You're only out $16.12.
Count your losses and move on.
116
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,882
He's smarter than you.
117
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,133
He is not
smarter than me!
118
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,134
He just charmed me,
that's all.
119
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,761
He's a charmer,
that Scott Tenorman,
120
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,888
but I'll get him someday.
121
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,681
One, please.
- One, please.
122
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,099
[muffled] One, please.
123
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,768
One, please.
124
00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,233
That'll be $6.
125
00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:55,110
Okay, and how much
is that in pubes?
126
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,820
We don't take pubes.
127
00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,447
Listen, my money is as good
as anybody's.
128
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,366
Don't you...discriminate
against my people
129
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,159
by not accepting these pubes.
130
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,328
We don't take pubes,
end of story!
131
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,579
Racist!
132
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,498
[doorbell rings]
133
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:09,083
Scott, Scott!
134
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,125
Courtney Love
is in South Park!
135
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,794
She's all drunk
and spreading her legs
136
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,671
and showing her "poonaner"
to everybody!
137
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,631
You gotta go check it out!
I'll watch your house for you.
138
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,924
Okay, I'll buy the pubes back.
Here.
139
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,425
What?
$16, take it.
140
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,969
I'll even throw in
an extra five.
141
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,679
Here.
Give me back my pubes.
142
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:23,973
Why do you want them back
so much?
143
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,599
No reason.
- I don't believe you.
144
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:26,684
All right, all right.
145
00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:27,893
The pube fair
in Fort Collins.
146
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,436
Pube fair?
147
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,896
They're paying five bucks
a hair for pubes.
148
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,439
If I leave now,
I can catch the last bus.
149
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,857
Five bucks a hair?
150
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,442
That's, like,
a million dollars!
151
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,652
Here, take your money.
152
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,028
Ha, ha,
I don't think so, Scott.
153
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,322
I'm going
to Fort Collins myself.
154
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,574
Oh, you can't do this to me.
No!
155
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,159
Ha, ha,
sure right you are, Scott.
156
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,704
Have you no heart?
157
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,664
Ha, ha,
what a stupid asshole!
158
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,165
Heh, heh, heh.
159
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,920
Ha, ha, hoo!
$1 million!
160
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,005
Whoo! Ah!
161
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,802
Ha, ha, ha.
162
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,887
Heh.
163
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,808
Uh, excuse me, sir.
- Yes?
164
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,268
Can you tell me
where the pube fair is?
165
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,519
The pube fair?
166
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,979
Yeah, I've got
some pubes to sell.
167
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,898
There's no such thing,
you little smart-ass.
168
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,608
No--
no such thing?
169
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,819
Hey, you wouldn't happen
to be Eric Cart-man, would you?
170
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:19,862
I'm Eric Cartman.
171
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,155
Oh, I think
this is for you.
172
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,039
Ahhhh!
173
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,126
[knocking]
174
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,754
106 miles, Scott.
175
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,715
I had to ride 106 miles
in the back of a pickup truck
176
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,966
to get back here.
177
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,760
You really went?
What a 'tard.
178
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,428
All right, Scott, you win.
I give up.
179
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,679
You do?
180
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,056
Wow, you're not
as stupid as I thought.
181
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,807
Yeah, I'll see you around.
182
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,143
Sure is too bad
about my grandma, though.
183
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,561
Your grandma?
- Huh?
184
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,646
Oh, it's not really
your concern.
185
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,899
It's just that, well,
my grandma is in the hospital.
186
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,817
She's very sick.
187
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,987
Doctors say unless I can come up
with $16 for her operation,
188
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,447
they're gonna
put her down.
189
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:06,492
Oh, jeez,
I didn't realize that.
190
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,410
Yeah, poor grandma.
191
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,080
Hey, kid,
hold on a second.
192
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,457
I'll get your money.
193
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,042
Heh, heh, heh.
194
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:18,003
He's such a douche.
195
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,380
here you go.
196
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:20,839
Oh, wow,
thanks a lot, Scott.
197
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,258
But just one thing
before I give it to you.
198
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,009
What?
199
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,262
I just--well,
I want to you beg for it.
200
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,180
Huh?
201
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,306
Just get down on your knees
and beg me for the money.
202
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,599
Why?
203
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,309
Do you want your grandma
to live or not?
204
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,936
[quickly] Please, Scott,
give me my money.
205
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,855
No, no,
get down on your knees.
206
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,607
Lower your head...
207
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:42,611
And say, "I beg you
to give me back my money."
208
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,196
I beg you
to give me back my money.
209
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,115
Now say,
"I'm a little piggy."
210
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,450
What?
- Say it.
211
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,952
I'm a little piggy.
212
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,788
"Here's my snout."
- Here's my snout.
213
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,249
"Oink, oink, oink."
oink, oink, oink.
214
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,585
Now, dance, little piggy.
Dance and oink for me.
215
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,798
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
216
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,634
♪ Oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink ♪
217
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,094
♪ I'm a little piggy-♪
[laughs]
218
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,512
All right,
now, give me back my money!
219
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,806
You mean this?
220
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,975
You really care that much
about 16 measly dollars?
221
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,810
I mean, what can you buy
with $16?
222
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,687
My parents give me
a $50-a-week allowance.
223
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,063
This pittance
means nothing to me.
224
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,314
Watch.
225
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,233
Wh-what are you doing?
226
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:27,156
No, no.
Why?
227
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,949
Now you can't bug me
for your dumb money.
228
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,834
[screaming]
229
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,844
[all talking at once]
230
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,598
Concerned citizens,
I thank you for coming.
231
00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,057
I know that you're all
deeply troubled
232
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,893
and want to find
a quick and painful way
233
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:59,271
to get rid of Scott Tenorman
once and for all.
234
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,564
Yes, Clyde?
- Who's Scott Tenorman?
235
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,732
All: Yeah.
236
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,150
Scott Tenorman
is an eighth grader
237
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,401
who sold Cartman
his pubes for $10,
238
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,194
and now Cartman's
all pissed off.
239
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,404
$16.12.
240
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,822
He is a disease.
241
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,157
He is a cold,
calculating man,
242
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,658
and I will have revenge!
243
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,368
What are you
gonna do?
244
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,828
Did you guys see
that movie Hannibal,
245
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,580
where the deformed guy
trained giant pigs
246
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,207
to eat his enemy alive?
247
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,792
Well, if we find a pony,
we can train it,
248
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,921
train it to bite off
Scott Tenorman's wiener.
249
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,174
It will be painful
and humiliating.
250
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,759
Everyone
will see it happen.
251
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,677
And then Scott Tenorman
will forever be known
252
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,096
as the kid who had his wiener
bitten off by a pony!
253
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,640
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
254
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,141
What's in it for us?
- What?
255
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,518
Yeah, why should
we all care
256
00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:38,936
about getting Scott Tenorman
back for you?
257
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:41,230
Oh, right.
Why should we care?
258
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,398
Yes, why should we care?
Indeed.
259
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:47,194
Let's just let Scott Tenorman
walk away with my $16.12.
260
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,279
Hell, let's let all
the Scott Tenormans of the world
261
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,948
take what's ours
and laugh in our faces.
262
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,533
Why stand up for yourself
when you can just
263
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,326
walk out of here right now
and say
264
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:55,869
it's not your problem?
265
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,372
But years from now,
when you're old
266
00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:00,165
and have children
of your own,
267
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,252
what would you give to come back
and fight this one day,
268
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,837
this one day, where you could
have made a difference,
269
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,422
where you could've
told Scott Tenorman,
270
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:08,882
"you may take our pride,
271
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,927
but you'll never take
my goddamn $16.12?"
272
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,178
Now, who's with me?
273
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,097
Timmy!
274
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,682
Christ.
275
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,475
All right, I guess
it's just you and me, Timmy.
276
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,519
Oh, no, not Timmy.
277
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,187
[door slams]
278
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,067
There we go.
279
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,611
Come and get it!
280
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,863
Come on, pony,
bite the wiener.
281
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,907
Bite it.
282
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,367
Come on, good pony.
283
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,994
That's it.
284
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,203
Now, bite it off!
285
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,581
Bite off the wiener.
Good pony!
286
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,791
Oh, no, pony,
he'll like that.
287
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,168
Eric, are you training
that pony to please you?
288
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,671
No, I'm trying to teach it
how to bite someone's penis off.
289
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,298
Oh.
290
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:51,133
Well, does Mr. Jenkins know
you're using his pony?
291
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,801
He shoots trespassers
on sight, you know.
292
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:53,802
He said it was okay.
293
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,512
All right, then.
Wait.
294
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,347
What the hell are you
training Jenkins' pony
295
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,599
to bite off
someone's penis?
296
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:01,727
Because...
of Scott Tenorman.
297
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,479
I hate him, and I want
to make him suffer.
298
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,857
Well, son, I think you've got
a pretty stupid plan there.
299
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,942
Not like that, pony!
300
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,028
Look, if you wanna get
revenge on somebody,
301
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:13,030
you've gotta think
like a hunter.
302
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,323
What do you mean?
303
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,366
Step one:
find someone's weakness.
304
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,660
Step two:
exploit that weakness.
305
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,828
How do I do that?
306
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:30,464
What do you see?
307
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,007
I see Scott Tenorman,
308
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,051
with his ginger red hair
and his stupid freckles.
309
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,011
And God damn it!
I hate him! I hate him!
310
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,680
No, young hunter.
I mean, what do you see?
311
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,265
You must learn all you can
about your kill.
312
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,683
Right, right.
313
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:42,893
Let's see.
314
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,187
There's posters,
Radiohead posters.
315
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,439
And he's reading a magazine
about Radiohead.
316
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,857
What's a Radiohead?
317
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,359
You know, that band
that sings that song.
318
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,112
♪ Well, I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo ♪
319
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,114
[through voice box]
♪ What am I doing here ♪
320
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,241
Oh, Jesus,
don't start singing, Ned.
321
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,702
So the subject
is a big Radiohead fan, huh?
322
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,953
Maybe I should come up...
323
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:02,663
[cockney accent]
with a lit'l scheme
324
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:03,872
that involves them.
325
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,165
Nice thinking,
young hunter.
326
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,792
Whoa.
- What?
327
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,293
I'm looking
in Scott's parents' room.
328
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,252
Scott's mom's
about to take off her bra.
329
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:10,671
What?
Give me those!
330
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,214
Holy crow,
he's right, Ned!
331
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,007
Mrs. Tenorman's
lettin' the twins out.
332
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,592
Let me see.
333
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,636
Radiohead.
Yes, of course.
334
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,888
Dear God, they're even bigger
than I ever imagined!
335
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,390
Let me see.
Let me see.
336
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,850
Here you go.
- Wow, those were great.
337
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,519
Maybe I should go
grab some beers, Ned.
338
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,270
Ned, what--
are you jackin' it?
339
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,022
Kinda.
- Well, stop it!
340
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,735
Hey, what the hell
are you doing out there?
341
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,487
Oh, crap!
- Who's out there?
342
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,072
Ned, for Christ's sake,
stop jackin' it.
343
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,281
I can't.
344
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:39,866
Don't think
I don't see you!
345
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,451
I know who you are,
and I'm calling the police!
346
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,703
Whoa!
Whoops!
347
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,830
I gotta get
out of here!
348
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,290
[doorbell rings]
349
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,042
Oh, hey, Scott.
How's it going?
350
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,460
I was just wondering,
351
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,754
do you like the band, uh,
Radiohead at all?
352
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,381
Uh-huh.
Oh, really?
353
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,800
Oh, 'cause they're doing
a big interview on MTV,
354
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,010
and they're playing it tonight
on a big screen downtown.
355
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,721
Everyone's gonna be there.
356
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,223
Oh, cool.
Thanks for telling me.
357
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,891
You're welcome, Scott.
358
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,438
Okay, well, looks like
everyone is here.
359
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,231
Let's play the video,
shall we?
360
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,401
Welcome back to MTV.
361
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,278
We're here with the members
from Radiohead,
362
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,196
probably the hottest band
in the world right now.
363
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,198
Guys, when is your next
album coming out?
364
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,492
[Cartman dubbed over] That's
an interesting question, Kurt.
365
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,077
But first
I'd just like to say
366
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,037
that I really hate this kid
named Scott Tenorman.
367
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,330
He's stupid.
368
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:28,957
Yeah, I hate
Scott Tenorman too.
369
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,208
I think all the guys
in the band hate him,
370
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,752
Right, guys?
371
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,044
Oh, Jesus,
did you hear that, Scott?
372
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,546
And will there be
a new tour?
373
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:35,881
Well, we would tour,
374
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,883
but we just hate
that Scott Tenorman kid so much
375
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,342
that we don't want to.
376
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:41,428
Yeah, Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool.
377
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,054
He's not cool.
378
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,557
Wow, that really sucks
for you, Scott.
379
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:46,683
Scott?
380
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,019
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Did you see that?
381
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,104
Scott must've ran home
so embarrassed.
382
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,856
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
And you know what?
383
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,733
That wasn't really
Radiohead talking.
384
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,443
I just dubbed
their voices over.
385
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,737
Ha, ha, ha!
What a retard!
386
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,989
And everyone saw it!
[feedback whistling]
387
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,325
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
388
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,953
it's time
for the amazing pube boy!
389
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,539
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
390
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,209
♪ Oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink ♪
391
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,879
[all laughing]
392
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,381
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
393
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:21,468
[laughter increasing]
394
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,097
Oh, my God,
he killed Kenny.
395
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,891
That does it.
396
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,519
I'm going to get Scott Tenorman
once and for all!
397
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,855
[thunder booming]
398
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,650
You think you're so cool,
Scott Tenorman.
399
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:39,110
We'll see how cool you feel
after this.
400
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,488
Yes, yes.
401
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,156
Yes!
402
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,367
[muttering]
403
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,954
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
404
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,832
Yes, it is the most genius
plan ever.
405
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,417
Scott Tenorman is going to wish
he never met me!
406
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,216
Okay, Cartman,
what do you want?
407
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,717
Stan, Kyle,
thanks for coming.
408
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,719
I've got it all figured out.
- Got what all figured out?
409
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,179
How to get
Scott Tenorman back.
410
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,889
Oh, Jesus.
411
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,683
I've just finished planning
a brilliant lit'l scheme
412
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,601
that should put Scott
in his place for good.
413
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,229
And if you help me,
I'll give each of you $2.
414
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,815
Okay,
so what's the plan?
415
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,317
It's the brilliant combination
of my last two plans.
416
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,444
Scott Tenorman's favorite band
is Radiohead, right?
417
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,612
Yeah?
418
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,239
So I realized,
what if we got Radiohead
419
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,074
to come here
to South Park, right?
420
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,451
Then they could meet
Scott Tenorman and...
421
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:31,955
See him get his wiener
bitten off by a pony!
422
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,790
What?
- Don't you see?
423
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,792
If I can get this pony
to bite off Scott's wiener
424
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,336
in front of Radiohead,
then Scott would cry.
425
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,338
And if Scott cries,
then Radiohead will think
426
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,632
Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool!
427
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,175
And that would make
Scott Tenorman want to die.
428
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,427
Ha, ha, ha!
429
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,053
Okay, I'll keep working
on the pony.
430
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,471
You guys go get Radiohead
to play here.
431
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,932
Ready? Break!
432
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,393
You're such a dumbass,
Cartman.
433
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,479
Fine, I'll do it myself!
You guys just watch!
434
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,649
Ready, pony?
Bite it!
435
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:00,692
Yes!
436
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,696
Thom, will you stop
reading fan mail?
437
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,864
We have work to do.
438
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,616
Just a second, fellas.
Listen to this.
439
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,743
"Dear Radiohead,
my name is Eric Cartman.
440
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,245
"I'm a young,
supple eight-year-old boy
441
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,788
"from South Park, Colorado.
442
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,707
"I'm writing to you
because of a kid I know
443
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,334
"named Scott Tenorman.
444
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,879
"Scott is 15,
and I'm afraid he has cancer
445
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,839
"in his ass.
446
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,425
"Radiohead is his favorite band,
and it would make his short life
447
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,010
"if you could find it
in your hearts
448
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,554
"to visit him before he dies
alone, scared.
449
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,139
"Won't you please
consider it?
450
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,852
I don't think he'll make it
past next Tuesday around 5:00."
451
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,729
Wow, we have to go.
452
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,106
To Colorado?
But we've got an album to mix.
453
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,650
Didn't you hear
the letter?
454
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,194
This poor kid has cancer!
In his ass!
455
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,154
[phone rings]
456
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,113
Hello?
457
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,740
Scott Tenorman?
- What do you want?
458
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,867
We just wanna warn you,
Eric Cartman, the fourth grader,
459
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,243
is going to try
to trick you somehow
460
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,536
into getting
your wiener bitten off
461
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,205
by a pony that lives
at Jenkins' ranch.
462
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,915
How do you know?
- 'Cause we're his friends.
463
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,500
Then why are you
telling me?
464
00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,918
'Cause we hate him.
- Oh.
465
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,378
Well, we just thought
we'd let you know.
466
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,379
See ya.
- See ya.
467
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,756
[doorbell rings]
468
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:05,924
Hello, Scott.
- Hey.
469
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,300
I was just stopping by
470
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,135
to invite you
to my "Chili con Carnival."
471
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,971
It's a chili cook-off
with rides.
472
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,472
Everyone's coming,
473
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,016
and I wanted to drop by
your invitation personally.
474
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,559
Ooh, a Chili Carnival,
huh?
475
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,186
That sounds great.
476
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,397
Yeah, there's even
gonna be a big surprise,
477
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,440
so you won't wanna
miss it, Scott.
478
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,900
Oh, and here.
479
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,569
Here's a coupon good
for one free pony ride.
480
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,321
Wow, a pony ride.
Neat.
481
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,407
Oh, it will be
very neat, Scott.
482
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,575
Gosh.
Chili, rides, and ponies.
483
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:33,952
What more could I want?
484
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,662
[quietly] A little
penis-biting, perhaps.
485
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:36,955
What?
- Nothing, nothing.
486
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,206
So you'll come for sure,
then, Scott?
487
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,582
How could I turn it down?
488
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:43,169
Sweet, killer.
Bye, Scott.
489
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,631
Oh, you are good, Eric.
You are very, very good.
490
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,509
Mom, Dad, that was
my good friend Eric at the door.
491
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,511
He told me that there's
a starving pony
492
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,138
at Jenkins' ranch
that's been abandoned.
493
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,222
Oh, dear.
494
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,974
Yeah, I feel really bad,
495
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:57,434
But I don't know
how I can help it
496
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,227
because I have a lot
of homework to do.
497
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,520
Well, don't you
worry, Scott.
498
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,147
Your mom and I
can go get the pony
499
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,690
and have it taken
to an animal shelter.
500
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:04,858
We sure can.
501
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,151
Wow, would you really?
502
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,694
I feel
so much better now.
503
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,030
Oh, Scott, you're such
a loving, caring boy.
504
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,740
I'm so proud of you.
505
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,074
I'm proud of you too, Mom.
506
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,826
Let's go, hon.
- Let's.
507
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,787
What are you doing, Scott?
508
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,080
What's it look like?
I'm making chili.
509
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,415
Did you bring
the goods?
510
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,167
We got everyone we could find
to chip in.
511
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,419
There's pubes from just about
every kid in town in here.
512
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,963
Awesome.
- Oh, dude!
513
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,132
The little fat kid thinks
he's gonna get revenge tomorrow.
514
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,717
We'll see how he likes it
when I tell him
515
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,552
he just ate the pubes
of every kid in town.
516
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:33,887
Yeah!
[all laughing]
517
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:41,811
Oh, hello, guys.
518
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,980
Thanks for coming
to my Chili con Carnival.
519
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,940
This is the dumbest thing
you've ever done, Cartman.
520
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,359
Oh, it won't be so dumb
when Scott Tenorman arrives.
521
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,653
I suggest you stay
to see the fireworks.
522
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,905
Oh, we will.
523
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,115
Trust us,
we wouldn't miss this.
524
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,241
What's so funny?
- Oh, nothing.
525
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,910
It's just cool
526
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,369
how you're gonna get
Scott Tenorman back.
527
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,288
Is Radiohead here yet?
- Not yet, but they will be.
528
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,372
Yeah, sure.
529
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:02,832
Hello, Eric.
- Hey, Chef.
530
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,250
I made some chili
to enter into the contest.
531
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,919
What contest?
532
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,420
This is a chili cook-off,
ain't it?
533
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,089
Huh?
Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
534
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,632
Here, just put it
over here.
535
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,966
It's my special recipe.
536
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,843
Scott Tenorman!
537
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:17,639
How are you, Scott?
Thanks so much for coming.
538
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,682
Oh, I wouldn't
miss this for anything.
539
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,142
Likewise.
540
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,228
Well, come on.
You've got to see the pony.
541
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,771
Just a second.
542
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,064
Don't you wanna taste
my chili first?
543
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,191
Well, yeah, but there's
a special guest coming,
544
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,944
and I want you to be near
the pony when they arrive.
545
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,362
Well, I don't want it
to get cold.
546
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,614
I think I can win
first prize.
547
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,033
All right, Scott, let's go
over to the judging table,
548
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:39,119
and we'll try
the chili first.
549
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:41,871
God damn it.
550
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,124
All right, I guess we should
taste each other's chili, huh?
551
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,625
This chili
looks pretty good.
552
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,253
Here's mine.
553
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,839
Mmm, I don't know.
Your chili is good, Cartman.
554
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,799
But I think mine is better.
Try it.
555
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:54,676
All right.
556
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,642
Hey, this is great!
557
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,686
It's a special recipe.
558
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,771
God, this is
really good, Scott.
559
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,231
I'm glad you like it
so much,
560
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,858
because now that
you're almost finished,
561
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,526
I have something
to tell you.
562
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,153
What?
563
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,488
You mean about how you
put pubes in your chili?
564
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,866
What?
565
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,951
Yes, I'm afraid
this isn't your chili, Scott.
566
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,328
I switched it
with Chef's.
567
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,539
It's delicious, Chef.
I hadn't planned on that.
568
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,082
What I did plan on,
however,
569
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,001
was that my friends
Stan and Kyle would betray me
570
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,462
and warn you that the Chili
con Carnival was a trap.
571
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,256
I assumed
that they would tell you
572
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,633
that I had trained Jenkins'
pony to bite off your wiener.
573
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:38,094
What they didn't tell you was
that Jenkins is a crazy redneck
574
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,971
who shoots trespassers
on sight.
575
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,181
Knowing that you would go
576
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,891
and try to do something
to the pony,
577
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,851
I warned Mr. Jenkins
that violent pony killers
578
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:46,519
were in the area.
579
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,021
I also knew that you
wouldn't go yourself
580
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,856
for fear of having
your wiener bitten off.
581
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,733
You would most likely
send your parents.
582
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,693
And I'm afraid
that when Mr. Jenkins
583
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,361
spotted them on his property,
584
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,405
he shot and killed
both your parents.
585
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,033
[gunshots]
586
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,911
Well, they was trespassin',
and I was protectin' myself.
587
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,621
I have my rights.
588
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:07,040
My...mom and dad
are dead?
589
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,791
I came just in time
to see Mr. Jenkins
590
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,877
giving his report
to Officer Barbrady
591
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,713
and, of course,
to steal the bodies.
592
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,882
After a night with the hacksaw,
I was all ready
593
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,967
to put on
my Chili Con Carnival
594
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,385
so that I could tell you
personally
595
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,887
about your parents' demise
596
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,389
and, of course,
feed you your chili.
597
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,142
Do you like it?
Do you like it, Scott?
598
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,978
I call it
"Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili."
599
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,526
Oh my God!
600
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,237
Oh my God!
601
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,240
♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
602
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,866
♪ I made you
eat your parents ♪
603
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,326
♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
604
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:45,787
Jesus Christ, dude!
605
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,914
My mom and dad
are dead!
606
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,375
No, no!
607
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,876
Uh, excuse me.
608
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,086
Who are you?
609
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,963
We're that band,
Radiohead.
610
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,839
Jeez, what a little crybaby.
611
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,259
You gonna cry all day,
crybaby?
612
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:01,052
You know,
everyone has problems.
613
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,971
It doesn't mean you have to be
a little crybaby about it.
614
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264
Come on, guys,
let's go.
615
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,140
This kid
is totally not cool.
616
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,434
Yeah, that's the most
uncool kid I've ever met.
617
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,853
Little crybaby.
618
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,563
No, wait!
619
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,023
Wait!
620
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:17,110
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
621
00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,654
Yes! Yes!
622
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,031
Oh, let me taste
your tears, Scott.
623
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,242
Mmm, your tears
are so yummy and sweet.
624
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,785
Dude, I think
it might be best for us
625
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:26,995
to never piss
Cartman off again.
626
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,162
Good call.
627
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,790
Oh, the tears
of unfathomable sadness.
628
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,793
Mmm, yummy.
Yummy, you guys.
629
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,378
Yibbidy-bip--
that's all, folks!