1
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,803
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,513
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,348
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,017
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,059
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,103
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,063
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,606
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:23,983
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,235
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,071
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,489
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,533
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:38,247
And so, in her career
filled with lies, back-stabbing
15
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,665
and whoring herself
for money,
16
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,834
she learned that
the price of fame can be
17
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,087
pleasing 65 men at once
in a dark, dirty alley.
18
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,507
And so ends Punky Brewster:
Behind the Blow.
19
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,550
Whoa,
bummer, dude.
20
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,218
Okay, dude,
it's 3:30.
21
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,262
It's time for
The Terrance and Phillip Show.
22
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,263
All: Yay!
23
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,514
Excuse me, buddy.
24
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:56,515
Why, did you fart?
25
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,767
Oh no!
26
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,934
Oh, man,
this is another rerun.
27
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,561
Are you sure?
I haven't seen it.
28
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,271
Yeah, fatass, this is their
famous mechanic sketch.
29
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,981
I'm looking
for a mechanic.
30
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,649
Can you tell me how
to get to the auto garage?
31
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,526
Sure, buddy, all you need
to do is go down to the--
32
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,488
[farts]
33
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,739
and that's how you--
34
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:12,907
[together]
"get to the auto garage."
35
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,450
Could you tell me
36
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,868
how to get to the auto
garage without farting?
37
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,369
Sure, you go the same way--
38
00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:18,788
"except stick your finger
up your ass."
39
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247
No, no, no.
40
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,665
I mean could you tell me
the directions again
41
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,958
without you farting?
42
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,210
Oh, sure.
43
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,669
Just stick your finger
up my ass.
44
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,338
Alright,
no problem, buddy.
45
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:30,049
Now tell me how do I get to the
auto garage to see a mechanic?
46
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,801
You're at the auto garage.
I am the mechanic.
47
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,886
Why the heck didn't you tell
me you were the mechanic?
48
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,096
"Because I had
an itch up my ass."
49
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430
Because I had
an itch up my ass.
50
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,766
[laughing]
51
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:39,892
[farts]
52
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,355
Terrance and Phillip
will be right back...
53
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,315
after these messages.
54
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,109
When are they gonna
make new ones?
55
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,111
Hey, kids, don't miss
the greatest event of the year.
56
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,821
This Thursday night
at the Denver Coliseum,
57
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,240
see Terrance and Phillip live
and in person.
58
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,574
What's this?
59
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243
One night and one night only,
60
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,869
see all your favorite
Terrance and Phillip bits live.
61
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,246
Oh my God!
62
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,497
You guys,
you guys!
63
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,957
I know, I know.
64
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,583
To order tickets,
call Ticket Slave now!
65
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,377
Write the number down!
Write the number down!
66
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,379
[school bell rings]
67
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,380
Dude, did you get 'em?
68
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,173
I got 'em.
69
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,633
Four tickets, 68th row
to Terrance and Phillip.
70
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,926
I waited in line
since 3:00 this morning.
71
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,761
Awesome,
give me mine.
72
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,429
Wow, you guys are gonna see
Terrance and Phillip live?
73
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,014
Yup, tomorrow night.
74
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,933
Alright, children,
let's settle down.
75
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,227
As you know,
this coming Friday is Earth Day,
76
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,812
and I'm pleased to announce
77
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,605
that the national Earth Day
organization
78
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,482
has chosen South Park
as its location
79
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,568
for the Earth Day
Brainwashing Festival.
80
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,194
All: Oh!
81
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,238
The heads of the Earth Day
Brainwashing Organization
82
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,032
are here to tell you
all about it.
83
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,118
Hello, children,
I know you're all very excited
84
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,120
about having the Earth Day
Brainwashing Festival
85
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705
put on in your town.
86
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,166
You care very much
about the Earth, don't you?
87
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,792
All: yes.
88
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,169
Good, because
it's up to all of you
89
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,671
to get lots of people to come
and make it look great.
90
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,173
The festival is on Friday,
91
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,633
so we'll start getting it ready
tomorrow night.
92
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,177
What?
93
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,012
We've all gotta
pitch in.
94
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,972
I'm sorry, but the four of us
can't help tomorrow night.
95
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:00,931
Yeah!
Yeah!
96
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,933
You...what?
97
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,643
We got tickets to see
Terrance and Phillip live
98
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,769
in Denver tomorrow night.
99
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,562
We paid 40 bucks a piece
for them.
100
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,980
And Terrance and Phillip
101
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,273
are more important than
Mother Earth?
102
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,774
Well, yeah, dude.
103
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:14,111
You don't care about
Terrance and Phillip.
104
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,779
Nothing matters more than
saving the planet
105
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,573
from Republicans.
106
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,783
You don't need to see
Terrance and Phillip.
107
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,994
No, dude,
we really, really do.
108
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,330
Their will is strong.
109
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,916
Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's
more important than Earth Day.
110
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:27,708
Uh, but that's why
we're going.
111
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,959
Huh?
112
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,169
See, we're the official
presidents
113
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,420
of the Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club
114
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,588
and we're going
to see them tomorrow
115
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,631
'cause we can get them
to perform
116
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,174
at the Earth Day festival.
117
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,592
You can get Terrance
and Phillip to perform?
118
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,010
That would be great.
119
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,637
Terrance and Phillip would
draw huge ratings
120
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,430
from children
all over the country.
121
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,766
Very well, kids, we'll work on
getting the event ready here
122
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,226
and you go get
Terrance and Phillip.
123
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,227
[all]
Alright!
124
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,853
But I warn you,
125
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,605
you better not promise things
to Earth Day people
126
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,148
that you can't deliver.
127
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:56,111
Earth Day people can be
very unforgiving.
128
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,156
Heh-heh, no problem,
no problem.
129
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,035
Ladies and gentlemen...
130
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,787
[cheering]
131
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:09,875
put your hands together
for Terrance!
132
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,128
Hello, Denver!
133
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,421
[scattered applause]
134
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,589
Wow, dude,
Terrance got really fat.
135
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,132
Yeah, he looks terrible.
136
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,134
How are you all feeling
tonight, pretty good?
137
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,678
Uh-oh.
[farts]
138
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:21,971
[sparse laughter]
139
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,014
Hey, do you all
remember this one?
140
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,267
"Doctor, doctor,
I think I cracked my ass."
141
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:27,935
Phillip,
"let me take a look."
142
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:28,978
"Look closer."
143
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,771
[farting and cackling]
144
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,897
Uh...
145
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:32,940
where the hell
is Phillip?
146
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,733
Phillip, Phillip!
147
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277
[crowd chanting]
148
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,195
Phillip, Phillip,
Phillip, Phillip!
149
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,281
And now, for some classic
Terrance and Phillip comedy.
150
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:41,782
[cheering]
151
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,866
Hello, Terrance.
152
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,118
Hello, Phillip.
153
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,452
Phillip?
That's not Phillip.
154
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,121
Say, Phillip,
I have a question for you.
155
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:48,497
Okay, shoot.
156
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,041
[farts]
157
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,418
Dude, what the hell
is going on?
158
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,627
Why'd they
replace Phillip?
159
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,379
I think this
new guy's funny.
160
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,172
And now here's a classic
Terrance and Phillip sketch
161
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,799
that I wrote back in '62.
162
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,010
Excuse me, sir,
do you know who farted?
163
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,094
He sure did.
164
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,762
What's the person's name?
165
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,055
Who.
- The guy that farted?
166
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,682
Who?
- The person that passed gas.
167
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,350
Who passed gas?
168
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,435
Now, why you
askin' me?
169
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,519
That's the man's name.
170
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,645
That's whose name?
171
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938
Yes!
172
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,606
Something very terrible
has happened
173
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:15,941
in the world
of Terrance and Phillip
174
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,609
and we've got to
find out what.
175
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,862
Look, buddy, all I'm trying
to find out is,
176
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,363
what's the guy's name
that farted?
177
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,865
What's the guy that
drank his own urine?
178
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,991
Who?
179
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,662
Come on, guys, we're getting
to the bottom of this.
180
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,955
Excuse us.
181
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,457
Where do you think
you're goin'?
182
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,125
We have to talk to Terrance.
- Yeah, right.
183
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,501
It's okay,
we're the Official Presidents
184
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,502
of the Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club.
185
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,629
Then get in the
186
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:42,551
"Official President of Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club" line.
187
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,303
Oh, dude.
Gay.
188
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,637
You don't understand,
189
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,473
we saved Terrance
and Phillip's lives once.
190
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,183
You and about a thousand other
people at one time or another.
191
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,517
Now get outta my face.
192
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,144
Redneck!
193
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,645
Man, this sucks.
194
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,105
Are you guys official
presidents too?
195
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,482
Don't talk to us, kid.
196
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,317
Hey, look at that line,
it's way shorter.
197
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,235
I don't think we're female
groupies or random sluts.
198
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,904
Kenny's a random slut.
199
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,614
Well, maybe we can sneak in
over there, come on.
200
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:04,948
Shh.
201
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,453
Mmm, mmm, yummy.
202
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,246
It was so great
meeting you.
203
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,790
I feel like we really
shared something.
204
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,166
We sure did, Betty.
205
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,542
Next!
206
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:20,089
Hello, Terrance,
I'm such a huge fan.
207
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,757
You're a huge fan,
alright.
208
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,258
Could I just have you
sign my breasts?
209
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,676
What do I get in return?
210
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,011
Whatever you want.
211
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,013
Oh, yeah,
oh, that's good, baby.
212
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,348
Oh, Terrance, I love you.
I love you.
213
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,017
I love you.
I love you.
214
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,727
Man, it smells
down there.
215
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,187
Jesus Christ,
that was fast.
216
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,647
Well, what should we name it,
how 'bout Jerry?
217
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:37,898
What the hell?
218
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:38,982
Oh, wow,
we had quadruplets.
219
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,317
Aah!
220
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,860
We're not quadruplets,
Terrance.
221
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,320
We snuck in that woman's
spandex to get in here.
222
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,613
Oh, thank God.
223
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,906
The last thing I need
is more kids.
224
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,574
What do you want,
an autograph or something?
225
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,159
No, it's more important
than that.
226
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,953
Our school is putting on
a big show for Earth Day
227
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,704
and we promised people
we could get you to perform.
228
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,206
Earth Day, huh?
229
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,082
That sounds like
a very noble cause.
230
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,250
How much does it pay?
231
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,460
But where's Phillip?
- Who?
232
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,962
Phillip, your partner.
233
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,338
Why is it that every time
somebody sees me,
234
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,923
they have to say,
"hey, where's Phillip?"
235
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,466
Like we're freakin' married
or something.
236
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,635
Y'know, I'll let you tater tots
in on a little secret.
237
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,429
Phillip is a hack.
238
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,389
You know who wrote all
the Terrance and Phillip stuff?
239
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,808
Me. Phillip never did anything
but read his lines.
240
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,102
But the guy that
replaced him sucks.
241
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,563
I know.
I know he sucks.
242
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,315
To be honest, things haven't
been going so well lately.
243
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,733
I'm not making any money
244
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,193
because everyone
wants to see Phillip.
245
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,361
Why?
246
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,821
What the hell
does Phillip do?
247
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,448
Because, dude,
it's "Terrance and Phillip."
248
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,740
Ugh, whatever.
249
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,534
The point is,
Phillip and I are through
250
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,078
and apparently so is the act
and so is the money.
251
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,247
What if we can get Phillip
to agree to get back together?
252
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,790
Will you do
the Earth Day show for us?
253
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,834
Ha, good luck
getting Phillip.
254
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,669
He left because he wanted
to do "more serious stuff."
255
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,504
The last I heard
256
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,922
he was doing Canadian
Shakespeare in Toronto.
257
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,632
[mumbling]
Toronto?
258
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,050
But we promised the Earth Day
people you'd perform.
259
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,844
Well, in that case,
260
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,971
I'd say you four boys are up
fart creek without a paddle.
261
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,311
Work, work, children.
262
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,314
We only have two more days
until Earth Day, work!
263
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,566
Uh, excuse me,
my daddy is a geologist
264
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,526
and he says there actually
isn't any concrete evidence
265
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,111
of global warming.
266
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,446
That's not true.
267
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,448
Global warming
is going to kill us all.
268
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,783
The Republicans
are responsible.
269
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,410
Thank you.
270
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,708
Oh no, dude.
271
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,084
Oh, there you are boys.
272
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,794
I need Terrance
and Phillip's information
273
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,963
so I can tell them
their schedule.
274
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,049
Uh, we didn't get them.
- You what?
275
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,425
They're not together
anymore, dude.
276
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:29,968
You better be joking.
277
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,220
We've already announced
their participation.
278
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,846
Look, we could
probably get Terrance,
279
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,306
but he'll be performing
with this other guy.
280
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,141
You promised us
Terrance and Phillip.
281
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477
We, therefore, promised
the world Terrance and Phillip.
282
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,562
You will get us
Terrance and Phillip or else.
283
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,022
But there's nothing
we can do.
284
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,732
Phillip is doing
Shakespeare in Canada now.
285
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,318
Then you better get your asses
to Canada and get him.
286
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,945
We'll make travel arrangements.
287
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,489
Nothing is more important
than the environment, boys,
288
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,866
Not even your lives.
289
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,494
Well, guys,
I guess we're going to Canada.
290
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,370
Sweet.
291
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,168
Ugh!
Ah!
292
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,839
Part them,
they are incensed.
293
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,091
Nay, come again.
294
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,551
Look to the queen
there, buddy.
295
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,094
They bleed on both sides,
how is it, my Lord?
296
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679
How is it, Laertes?
297
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,013
Why, as a woodcock
to mine own springe, Osric,
298
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,723
I am justly killed with
my own treachery.
299
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,183
How does the queen?
300
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,101
Hey, guy,
she swoons to see them bleed.
301
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,520
[all sighing]
302
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,230
Oh, my dear, Hamlet,
I am poisoned.
303
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,941
Oh, villainy,
ho, let the door be locked.
304
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,526
Treachery, seek it out.
305
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,778
It is here, Hamlet.
Hamlet, thou art slain.
306
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,405
No medicine in the world
can do thee good.
307
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,240
In thee there is not
half an hour of life.
308
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,658
The treacherous instrument
is in thy hand,
309
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,285
unbated and envenomed.
310
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,078
The foul practice
hath turned itself on me.
311
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,122
Lo, here I lie
never to rise again.
312
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,332
Thy mother's poisoned.
I can no more.
313
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,376
The king,
the king's to blame.
314
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,877
the point,
envenomed too.
315
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,297
Then, venom
to thy work, buddy!
316
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,840
All: Treason, treason!
317
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,466
Oh, yet defend me, friends,
I am but hurt.
318
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,594
Here, thou incestuous,
murderous damned dane.
319
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,596
Drink of this potion,
is thy union here?
320
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,848
Follow my mother.
321
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,017
He is served, it is
a poison tempered by himself.
322
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,768
Exchange forgiveness with me,
noble Hamlet.
323
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,604
Mine and my father's death
came not upon thee
324
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,147
nor thine on me.
325
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,482
Heaven make free of it,
I follow thee, guy.
326
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,360
I am dead, Horatio,
wretched queen, adieu.
327
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,529
You that look pale and tremble
at this chance, buddy,
328
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,114
thou are but mutes
or audience to this act,
329
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,824
had I but time--
330
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,659
as this fell sergeant death
is strict in his arrest--
331
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,828
oh, I could tell you, buddy,
but let it be.
332
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,496
Horatio, I am dead.
333
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,123
Thou livest, guy,
334
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,958
report me and my cause aright
to the unsatisfied.
335
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,501
Never believe it.
336
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,045
I am more an antique Roman
than a dane.
337
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,838
Here's yet some
liquor left, buddy.
338
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,132
Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ,
is this thing ever gonna end?
339
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,676
He has my dying voice, so
tell him with the occurrence
340
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,219
more and less which
have solicited,
341
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,430
the rest is silence.
342
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,724
Now cracks a noble heart,
good night, sweet prince
343
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559
and flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest, buddy.
344
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,437
Phillip, Phillip!
- Yes?
345
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,064
Our town in Colorado
was chosen
346
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,106
to host Earth Day this year
and we need a big act.
347
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,691
Oh, really?
348
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,692
This run of Hamlet
is closing down, I'm afraid,
349
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,277
we could take it there.
350
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,987
Uh, well we were thinking
how cool it would be
351
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,781
if you and Terrance got
back together for a reunion--
352
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,449
Stop right there!
353
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,493
I'm not doin' nothin'
with that fatass egomaniac.
354
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,078
But we need you.
355
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,829
I'm sick of him
taking credit for all the work
356
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,122
and not letting me
change the act.
357
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,123
It's old and stale.
358
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,416
I mean, do you really think
359
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,793
that fart jokes
are funny for that long?
360
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,127
[farts and laughs]
361
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,295
Look, if you don't come
and do the show,
362
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,588
I'll make you
eat your parents.
363
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,547
Yeah, whatever kid.
364
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:13,548
He'll do it, dude.
365
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,467
Uh, look, Phillip.
366
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,593
Everyone in South Park just
wants to see your serious side.
367
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,303
What?
What?
368
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,888
They told us, "that Phillip,
he's the one with talent.
369
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,390
Just get him for Earth Day."
- Really?
370
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,392
Well that sounds interesting,
how much does it pay?
371
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,686
$2,000.
- I'm in!
372
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,188
Here, call me at this number
with the details, gotta run.
373
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,232
Dude, you didn't tell him
Terrance would be there.
374
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,733
I didn't say he wouldn't
be there, either.
375
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235
Look, all we have to do
is get them there, right?
376
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,778
Once Terrance and Phillip
get together again,
377
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,113
it'll be like old times.
378
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,989
Oh, Kyle, you just made
a huge withdrawal
379
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,117
at the "First Bank of Lies."
380
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,493
It'll--it'll be okay.
381
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,707
Work faster.
382
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:51,086
Faster, children,
Earth Day is coming.
383
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,462
Well, boys,
it's rehearsal time
384
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,589
and your Terrance and Phillip
haven't shown up.
385
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,841
They said they'd come.
386
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,092
I'm sure they'll
be here any minute.
387
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,885
Maybe you kids don't
understand
388
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,596
how important Earth Day is
for the future of our planet.
389
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,889
Maybe you need
some convincing.
390
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:03,890
Karl.
391
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:04,891
Ahh!
392
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,643
Oh, my God!
393
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:07,769
Excuse me, is this where
the Earth Day crap is happening?
394
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,312
He's here.
395
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,273
Oh, very good.
Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Forest,
396
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858
head of the Earth Day
committee.
397
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,818
Thank you for being a part
of this important event.
398
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,069
Whatever,
where's my check?
399
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,821
Alright, I'm here,
where do I--
400
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,364
what's he doing here?
401
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,949
Alright,
let's do a rehearsal
402
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,200
so that the camera crew
can get a look at it.
403
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,413
Wow, isn't this great,
404
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:27,998
You guys seeing each other
again?
405
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,624
Yeah, you must have
a lot of catching up to do
406
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,042
but let's rehearse first.
407
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,544
So, this is your doing,
huh, Terrance?
408
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,045
My doing?
409
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:35,922
These kids called me
and said it was your idea
410
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,424
and that you wanted
to apologize.
411
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,967
Please, you guys,
this is for Earth Day.
412
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,636
You care about Mother Earth,
don't you?
413
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:42,971
Well, what the hell?
414
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,639
I already flew
all the way out here.
415
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308
But I want my check made out
to me, not both of us.
416
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,393
Ditto!
- Fine.
417
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,270
See, I told you
it would work.
418
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272
Alright, we'll come off
the speech of the dying whales
419
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,149
and then, action.
420
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,193
Doctor, doctor,
I've cracked my ass.
421
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,277
Really?
Let me take a look.
422
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,361
Look closer.
423
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,113
[farts]
424
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,407
[laughing nervously]
425
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,326
Yon fart doth smell
of elderberry sweet--
426
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,077
That's not the line, asshole.
427
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,537
You're right,
it's a better one, asshole.
428
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,039
Just do the bit right,
dick face!
429
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,207
Why don't you go
eat some more pudding,
430
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,833
you fatass drug addict!
431
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,752
I may be fat, but at least
I didn't get hair plugs.
432
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,295
That's it!
433
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,963
I ain't doin' nothin'
with "Kooko the Whale"!
434
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,424
I never needed you
in the first place, you hack!
435
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,802
You can't leave,
the show starts soon.
436
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,472
Boys, you've got three hours
to get those two back together.
437
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,265
Do I need to remind you
what will happen if you don't?
438
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,433
Karl!
439
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,726
Owww!
440
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,686
You bastards.
- Good luck, boys.
441
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,980
We've got to get them
back together, you guys.
442
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,232
They could
do this to us!
443
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,364
Tom, I'm standing
in South Park, Colorado,
444
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,075
where Earth Day 2001
is in full force.
445
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,952
Environmental awareness
games, booths
446
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,954
and of course,
the entertainment on stage
447
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,081
which is being broadcast live
all over the country.
448
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,417
This eco-happy crowd is thrilled
and waiting in anticipation
449
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,628
for the arrival
of Terrance and Phillip,
450
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,256
who were promised
by these four boys.
451
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,341
What a touching
and true song.
452
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,845
You know it's true, Republicans
are ruining the earth.
453
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,264
Crowd: Republicans
are ruining the earth.
454
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,974
Alright.
455
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,809
Well, I think I know why
most you tuned in today.
456
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,853
How about some
Earth Day entertainment?
457
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:17,858
[cheers and applause]
458
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:20,986
Hooray for the Earth,
we must protect it.
459
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,571
And now, as promised,
460
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:27,868
Here are Terrance
and Phillip...on video.
461
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:31,246
On video?
462
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,874
They were considered the best
comedy act in all of Canada,
463
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,750
but a fast-paced rocket ride
to success
464
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,169
would bring them
to the depths of despair.
465
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,339
This is Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
466
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,799
All: Wow.
467
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,634
What the hell
do you call this?
468
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,344
It's Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
469
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,888
I taped it last month.
470
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,681
We promised people
Terrance and Phillip,
471
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,224
not a video documentary.
472
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,727
You've ruined the Earth
for the last time, boys!
473
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,397
All: Aah!
474
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,649
Terrance was born
"Terrance Henry Stute"
475
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,818
in the small Canadian village
of Toronto.
476
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,403
At a very early age,
477
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,280
his parents noticed
an uncanny musical ability
478
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,740
and decided to enroll him
479
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,075
in the Canadian school
for gifted babies.
480
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,078
It was here that he partnered up
with Phillip Niles Argyle,
481
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,539
a brash young baby
from Montreal.
482
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,750
Together,
they performed musical acts
483
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,418
that stunned Canadians
everywhere.
484
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,045
At the tender age of six,
485
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,380
Terrance and Phillip
were off to the United States
486
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,466
to perform on
the Ed Sullivan Show
487
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,718
where American audiences
would be exposed to Canadians
488
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,762
for the first time.
489
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,096
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
490
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,641
we have two adorable little boys
from Canada.
491
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,892
Please put your hands together
492
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,269
for the music
of young Terrance and Phillip.
493
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,854
[applause]
494
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,147
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
495
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,523
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
496
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:41,816
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
497
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527
♪ Don't you love that
chicken and ham ♪
498
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,112
Oh, my God, what's wrong
with their heads?
499
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,031
It's alright, darling,
they're just Canadian.
500
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,324
Oh.
501
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,784
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
502
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:51,826
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
503
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
504
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,704
♪ Don't you love my
chicken and ham ♪
505
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,540
the Canadian act confused
American audiences,
506
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,250
but then something happened
507
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,128
that would change Terrance
and Phillip's act forever.
508
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,756
[farts]
509
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,883
[laughter and applause]
510
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,263
[farts]
511
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,017
It was the birth
of Canadian comedy.
512
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,644
Terrance and Phillip
513
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,437
spent the next several years
perfecting their art
514
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:23,274
and meeting some of America's
most influential people.
515
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,818
Excuse me,
which way is the bus station?
516
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,194
Hey, you're the guy
on the screen.
517
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,154
What?
518
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,156
But it was in 1974
on the Sonny and Cher Show
519
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,658
that Terrance and Phillip
520
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,243
finally started to mix
their Canadian humor
521
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,662
with deep political insight.
522
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,455
You know, Cher,
a lot of us real Americans
523
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,999
don't know much
about Canada.
524
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,500
Well, all of us
real Americans
525
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,670
aren't as stupid
and short as you.
526
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,296
Please put your
groovy hands together
527
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,424
for the young and talented
Terrance and Phillip.
528
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:50,301
[cheers and applause]
529
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,928
Say, Terrance,
I'm getting worried aboot
530
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,555
all these Russians
making missiles.
531
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,181
Maybe we should
stop this "Cold War."
532
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,393
Here's a missile for ya.
[farts]
533
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,519
That's better.
534
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,815
[farting and cackling]
535
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,696
With this bold mix
of humor and political insight,
536
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,990
the world couldn't get enough
of Terrance and Phillip,
537
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,825
but their fame
would come at a price
538
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,327
when Behind the Blow continues.
539
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,163
Okay, okay,
I think we lost 'em.
540
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,248
Jesus, man, those Earth people
don't screw around.
541
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,083
Kyle, none of this
would be happening
542
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,460
if you hadn't lied
in the first place.
543
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,545
You lied and then you lied
to cover up your lies.
544
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,630
I didn't see you complaining
at the time, fat boy!
545
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,799
Guys, we have no choice,
we're gonna have to move away.
546
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,634
Environmental activists
don't use logic or reason.
547
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,220
There they are!
548
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,930
Ahh!
549
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,891
[shouting]
550
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,270
As they entered
their late teens,
551
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,772
Terrance and Phillip
were already starting to taste
552
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,023
the sweet milk of success,
553
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,733
but the price of fame
was looming
554
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,861
as Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow continues.
555
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,279
The '70s and '80s
were a good time
556
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,781
for young Terrance and Phillip.
557
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,282
Their act on
The Donny and Marie Show
558
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,076
won them
a Nobel Peace Prize.
559
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,911
They were on the cover
of every magazine.
560
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,704
And then in 1998,
561
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,998
even a Saturday morning
cartoon was made
562
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,750
based on Terrance and Phillip.
563
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,919
Terrance and Phillip themselves
supplied the voices.
564
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,378
Say, Terrance,
what should we do
565
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,172
aboot this strange planet
we've crashed on?
566
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,049
I don't know, Phillip.
567
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,884
It seems like the alien species
here breathe an inert gas.
568
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,552
Uh-oh, did you say
what I thought you said?
569
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679
[fart and laughing]
570
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,598
As leader of
the Goat People,
571
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,725
I have seen my species
nearly wiped out
572
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,310
by your dangerous gas.
573
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,937
Wow, that sucks.
574
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,188
[farts]
575
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,856
The cartoon was
such a huge success
576
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,149
that it started to breed
confusion
577
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,818
over whether
Terrance and Phillip
578
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,153
were animated characters
or real people.
579
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,572
And so in 1998,
the comedy team started work
580
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,825
on what they thought would be
their greatest achievement,
581
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,368
a made-for-TV movie
582
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,203
written by and starting
Terrance and Phillip
583
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,580
called Not Without My Anus.
584
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,290
It was their biggest project
to date,
585
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:46,376
but it had the misfortune
of being scheduled on a night
586
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,837
when a different and more
popular television show,
587
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,965
the John Schneider Variety Hour
was supposed to air.
588
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,633
When fans tuned in
to see John Schneider
589
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,511
and instead were treated to
the Canadian made-for-TV movie,
590
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,222
they were enraged, bewildered,
and scared.
591
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,516
The fans revolted
and burned down the network,
592
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,811
killing six television producers
and wounding 12 others.
593
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,188
The hatred of
Terrance and Phillip had begun.
594
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,065
Terrance fell into
a deep depression
595
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,900
and started abusing
wood polish.
596
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,652
Phillip beat up
an angry six-year-old fan
597
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,320
and was sued for
$6 million.
598
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,865
It was the first time
the duo tasted failure
599
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,741
and it nearly
killed them both.
600
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,035
What's going on here?
601
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,747
Shh, we're watchin'
Behind the Blow.
602
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,584
Come on, Kenny,
hurry up!
603
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,128
After years of depression
and suicide attempts,
604
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,630
Terrance and Phillip
finally decided to get together
605
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,424
for one last film,
606
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,969
the 1999 smash hit
Asses of Fire.
607
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,971
It was one of the highest
grossing films of the summer.
608
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,389
And though
the film also started
609
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,391
the Canadian-American
war of 1999
610
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,351
in which eight million people
lost their lives,
611
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,604
the film was
considered a great success.
612
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,939
After almost being executed
by the American government,
613
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066
Terrance and Phillip were
eventually returned to Canada
614
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,943
where they were touted
as heroes.
615
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,778
They had been to hell and back,
616
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,406
through the very best and the
very worst of times together,
617
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,909
but they had seen it through,
and so ends
618
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,453
Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
619
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,246
[cheering]
620
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,457
Terrance.
621
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:08,791
Oh, Phillip,
you're still here too.
622
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,335
I was just
watching this video.
623
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,046
You know, I've never
seen it before.
624
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,256
Me neither.
625
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,425
We sure did go through
a lot together.
626
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,136
We sure did.
627
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,471
Terrance, I--
628
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,014
Don't, no, Phillip,
don't say it.
629
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,474
I was an asshole,
this is mostly my fault.
630
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:26,100
That's what
I was gonna say,
631
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,229
You're an asshole and
this was mostly your fault.
632
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,856
But you were always the more
artistically driven of us.
633
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,524
I should've put more
into it than I did.
634
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,692
No, Phillip.
635
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069
I really thought
I did everything,
636
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:39,280
until I tried
to do it alone.
637
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,450
[farts slowly]
638
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,410
[laughs]
639
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,621
[laughs]
640
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,585
Think of all
the endangered species
641
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,212
that will now vanish
because of you.
642
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,129
Karl!
643
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,633
So long, boys.
644
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,717
Wait,
dude, look.
645
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,387
[applause]
646
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,180
Thank you, everyone,
thank you.
647
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,224
You know, Phillip and I have
learned an important lesson,
648
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,934
that when you go
through a lot with somebody,
649
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,769
you can't let trite things
come between you.
650
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,020
That's right, Terrance.
651
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,063
You should only let
trite things
652
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,731
come between your ass cheeks.
653
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,525
[farting and laughing]
Oh, no!
654
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,609
They're back.
655
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:17,610
Alright!
656
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,988
Yes, Earth Day is saved, boys.
657
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,531
Everything worked out
after all.
658
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,116
It sure did.
659
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742
Look, Kenny,
everything turned out okay.
660
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,411
[mumbles]
661
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:27,787
Say, Terrance,
can you tell me who farted?
662
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,372
He sure did, Phillip.
663
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,124
No, I'm asking you
his name.
664
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,418
And so Terrance and Phillip
got back together,
665
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,420
proving once and for all
that fame and fortune
666
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:37,380
are never as important
as friendship.
667
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,965
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
668
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,258
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
669
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,426
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
670
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,552
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
671
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:46,681
[clapping]
672
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,224
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
673
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,267
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
674
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,601
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
675
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:51,811
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
676
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,229
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
677
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,272
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
678
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,815
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
679
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:56,190
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
680
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,275
[farting]