1
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:10,553
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,471
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,306
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:15,725
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,976
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,978
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,730
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,691
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,067
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,904
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,489
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,324
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,791
Remember when life used
to be simple and cool?
15
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793
Not really.
16
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,670
Uh, hey, how's it
going fellas?
17
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,547
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?
18
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,507
Well, I'm just standing
around being a kid, why?
19
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,509
How come you're all wearing
those oogy spacemen masks?
20
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,719
These are gas masks,
Butters!
21
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,094
Yeah, if you don't
have a gas mask,
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,680
you're gonna get
smallpox or anthrax.
23
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,056
What?
24
00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:56,849
Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna
get the 'thrax, fellas.
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,601
What do I do?
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,019
There's nothing you can do
except stop breathing.
27
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,562
Stop breathing?
28
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,022
Yeah, you can't get it
if you don't breathe.
29
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,690
Oh, alright then.
30
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,484
[inhales]
31
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,704
Okay, next.
32
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,375
Next.
33
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,753
Let's see, Hotties,
Juicy, Whoppers.
34
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:28,547
Okay, next.
35
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,799
Aha!
36
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,342
What the hell are you
doing with this?
37
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,802
Those are my Hootie Owl
round tip scissors.
38
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,595
These are a weapon!
39
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888
Oh, come on, how am I gonna
kill people with those?
40
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,056
I'll think of a way.
41
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,057
Now move along.
42
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,391
God damn it!
43
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,103
Alright, next!
44
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,731
Okay, clear.
45
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,444
[school bell rings]
46
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,535
Oh, Jesus, man!
They're gonna get me!
47
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,911
Oh, Christ!
48
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,579
They're gonna get me.
49
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039
Alright, class, as some
of you may have heard,
50
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,999
the president has asked
that American children
51
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,711
all send one dollar
to the children of Afghanistan.
52
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,422
So I have a list of addresses
and we're going to all chip in.
53
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,924
Ha!
54
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,467
I'm not giving a dollar
to those towel-heads.
55
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844
Eric, the Afghan people
need our help.
56
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,595
Oh, I'm sorry,
57
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,430
but I thought we were at war
with these assholes!
58
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:19,807
We're at war with
terrorists, fatass,
59
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,891
not with Afghanistan.
60
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,434
And the only reason
you care
61
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,769
is 'cause you don't
wanna give up a dollar.
62
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,855
That dollar buys me a
chocolate milk for lunch!
63
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,857
What, you want me to just get
a regular milk for 10ȼ?
64
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,775
Now look, it isn't our fault
that terrorists hate us.
65
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,360
We're just kids.
66
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,528
We aren't the ones
bombing them now.
67
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,071
We're just kids.
68
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,823
There's a lot of crazy stuff
going on in the world,
69
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,074
but we're just
caught in the middle.
70
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,742
It's not our fault.
71
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286
The Afghan kids are caught
in the middle too.
72
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,787
Yes, but they're
sand monkeys!
73
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,747
Alright, children,
we're all sending a dollar
74
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332
to the kids
in Afghanistan.
75
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917
That's it,
end of discussion!
76
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,378
God damn it, I hate
regular milk!
77
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,722
[both speaking native language]
78
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,560
[speaking native language]
79
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,979
[muffled]
80
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,570
All: Aw!
81
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,405
[speaking native language]
82
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,664
All: Aw!
83
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,500
[all speaking native language]
84
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,342
All: Aww!
85
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,261
[all speaking native language]
86
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,379
Another high alert status for
terrorist activity this weekend.
87
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,297
The government said bad things
are likely to happen.
88
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,715
[doorbell rings]
89
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,384
Meanwhile, the world
continues to back down
90
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,843
from their support
of the United States,
91
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,012
saying that they were really
only kidding to begin with.
92
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,305
Hey Mom,
doorbell's ringing.
93
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,765
[mumbles]
94
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,642
Hey, Sharon.
95
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,727
Maybe you should stop watching
the news for a little bit.
96
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,021
[mumbles]
97
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,733
Sharon, you've been
watching CNN for about...
98
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277
eight weeks now.
99
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,361
Don't you want to watch
something else?
100
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,612
Sh-Sharon?
101
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947
Hey, look what
the postman brought me!
102
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,657
It's a big, brown package
from Afghanistan.
103
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,992
That's nice.
104
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,576
We sent the Afghani
kids some dollars,
105
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,370
They must've sent us
something cool in return.
106
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,746
Do we have some scissors
to cut this open?
107
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,957
Stanley, your mother's
a little freaked out right now.
108
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,583
Why don't you
go play with
109
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,085
your big, brown package
from Afghanistan outside.
110
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,963
Alright.
111
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:59,008
Both: Big, brown package from
Afghanistan!?
112
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,721
Dude, what's going on?
113
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,306
We got a package from
the kids we sent dollars to.
114
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,308
They sent us
something back.
115
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935
Prelim shows
negative, sir.
116
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,645
Then we're gonna
have to blow it.
117
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938
All: Yes, sir!
118
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,651
Ah, this is it, man,
it's over!
119
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,404
Tweak, calm down,
have some coffee.
120
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369
Open!
121
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,415
[goat bleats]
122
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:33,625
Ah, it's just a goat.
123
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,419
[all sigh]
124
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,712
Precious goat.
125
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,505
[goat bleats]
126
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,840
Hey there,
little guy.
127
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,800
Stay away from it!
128
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,719
Terrorists could've given that
goat anthrax or smallpox
129
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,803
before sending it over!
130
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,347
Johnson!
- Sir.
131
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,639
Check the goat
for diseases.
132
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,807
Yes, sir!
133
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,898
The goat seems
to be clean, sir.
134
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:56,648
I told you.
135
00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,692
Those Afghan kids just wanted
to give us something back
136
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,277
for giving them $4.
137
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,487
Four dollars for a goat,
we got ripped off.
138
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,322
Alright, men,
this area is secure.
139
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,865
Let's head out.
140
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,911
What are we supposed
to do with it?
141
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704
You're gonna have to take it
home with you, Kyle.
142
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,498
Dude, my mom won't even
let me have a hamster.
143
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,582
Kenny?
144
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,958
No freakin' way,
dude.
145
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,460
My parents will never
let me keep a goat.
146
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,920
Well, I guess we're gonna
have to kill it.
147
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546
No, we're not going to
kill it, Cartman.
148
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,382
We'll just have to take
the return address
149
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,674
and mail it back to the
kids in Afghanistan.
150
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,675
Come on, goat.
151
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:24,885
[goat bleats]
152
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,761
Uh-oh,
they're closing.
153
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721
Excuse me,
154
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390
we wanna overnight this goat
to Afghanistan, please.
155
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,849
Excuse me?
156
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601
It's an Afghanistan goat so
it can't stay here,
157
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,437
or else it will choke on
the sweet air of freedom.
158
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939
Afghanistan?
159
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,732
I'm sorry boys, but our
planes aren't flying there.
160
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,275
They're not?
161
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,527
The only planes going
to Afghanistan
162
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529
are the military planes
over at the base.
163
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,155
I'm sorry.
164
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,448
Oh, yeah,
the military planes.
165
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,158
Come on, goat, we'll
put you on one of them.
166
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:50,994
Stan, I don't think
we're supposed to be
167
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,037
in the military base.
168
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372
They might
shoot us.
169
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,456
I don't care,
we're going.
170
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,624
don't forget to
bring a towel.
171
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,834
All: Ah!
172
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710
Oh no,
not Towelie.
173
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,879
When going someplace new,
you should always bring a towel.
174
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:01,880
Okay, thanks,
Towelie.
175
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,298
You wanna get high?
176
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,591
No, we don't
wanna get high!
177
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,552
You mean, you don't
want Towelie around?
178
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,387
That's right!
179
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890
So am I to understand that
there's been a "Towelie ban"?
180
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,434
[snickering]
181
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,977
[all moaning]
182
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,603
God damn it, get the hell
out of here, Towelie!
183
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,896
Alright,
see ya.
184
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,900
Alright, troops,
185
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,569
we'll depart for Afghanistan
in five minutes.
186
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987
Let's move out!
187
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,697
Alright,
come on.
188
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,282
We just gotta get the goat
on one of these planes.
189
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,408
Isn't this exciting, Tony?
190
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,909
We're finally gonna
see some action.
191
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,744
Yeah, and I hear that
as soon as we land,
192
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,745
we get a U.S.O. Show.
193
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,289
We do!
194
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,790
Stevie Nicks is
going to perform.
195
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,959
Oh, Stevie Nicks,
I-I love her!
196
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,837
Okay, it's clear,
come on.
197
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,590
Hey you!
198
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633
What the hell do you
think you're doing here?
199
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,802
[goat bleats]
200
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346
I'm sorry,
Miss Nicks.
201
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,723
Hey, guys,
it's Stevie Nicks!
202
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,933
Oh, wow!
203
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,977
Can I get a picture?
204
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729
Miss Nicks, over here,
Miss Nicks.
205
00:07:58,854 --> 00:07:59,938
[goat bleats]
206
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,274
Miss Nicks, I don't
wanna bother you,
207
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,568
but could you sing a quick
Fleetwood Mac for us?
208
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,694
Could you?
209
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,695
Come on!
210
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,490
[goat bleating]
211
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,824
[all cheering]
212
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,242
Wait 'til I tell
my sister about this;
213
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452
she is gonna flip!
214
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,661
Well, we've gotta
get Miss Nicks
215
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,871
on the plane to
Afghanistan, guys.
216
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,748
Oh, can we just get a--
217
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,292
I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't
answering any more questions.
218
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544
Oh sure, we understand.
Move along.
219
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,046
She looks great.
She looks great.
220
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,508
Hey, let's put him
on here.
221
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,259
[goat bleats]
222
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,385
Shh... there we go.
223
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,803
You're gonna
be okay, goat.
224
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,473
You'll be back in Afghanistan
in about 20 hours.
225
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,933
Stan, if you're finished
226
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,392
having your tearful
good-bye with the goat,
227
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519
we'd like to
go now, please.
228
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,811
Alright.
229
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,271
Alright, tango clear,
let's head out.
230
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,648
Oh, son of
a bitch!
231
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,899
Hey, wait!
232
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817
There's children
in here!
233
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:49,571
[muffled speech]
234
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,241
Dude, it looks like we're
going to...Afghanistan.
235
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492
Going to Afghanistan?
236
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,826
Trapped in a small space
for 20 hours--
237
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,827
how could things
get any worse?
238
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,162
[fart]
239
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,997
[all moan]
Oh, you guys.
240
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,348
All: hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut.
241
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433
Welcome to
Afghanistan, troops.
242
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,270
Get your gear ready and report
to the barracks in 0-900.
243
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,521
All: sir, yes, sir!
244
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,273
Hut hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut...
245
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,608
Oh, God!
It was horrible!
246
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,110
20 hours!
247
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,987
[mumbling]
248
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,405
What the hell?
249
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,614
Cartman farted
in there.
250
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366
We had to breathe
it in for 20 hours.
251
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410
It didn't smell that bad.
You guys are overreacting.
252
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,079
I don't smell any--
oh, oh God!
253
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,126
Oh, whatever.
254
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,627
You son of a bitch,
Cartman.
255
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,462
You don't fart when you're
locked in a small space
256
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,463
with other people!
257
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,756
Oh, I'm sorry!
258
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,383
Next time I'll just
ask my fart nicely
259
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,302
if it wouldn't mind staying
tucked away for a while!
260
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,137
Alright, let's just get
the goat back to his home.
261
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471
We have to find
this address.
262
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,556
[goat bleats]
263
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,603
God, what a craphole,
dude!
264
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,480
This is like east Denver,
Jesus Christ!
265
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,649
Dude, no wonder terrorists
come from places like this.
266
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,484
If I grew up here,
I'd be pissed off too.
267
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695
Hey, look,
there's a taxi.
268
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,324
Hello.
269
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,450
We need to go here.
270
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,826
[speaking native language]
271
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,453
[whip cracks]
272
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,246
God, what is this,
the friggin' Flintstones?
273
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,251
Is this the
right house?
274
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,711
I think so.
275
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,422
[knocking]
276
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,467
[speaking native language]
277
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:37,137
Uh, hi,
we're from America.
278
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139
Uh, we sent you
the dollar, the $4.
279
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,182
You sent us
this goat.
280
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,309
Goat?
281
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,144
Here, we don't
want it.
282
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,145
Oh, you want
something else?
283
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,355
All we had
was the goat.
284
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,731
Your country bombed
everything else.
285
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191
No, dude, we're
not ungrateful.
286
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,109
It's just none of us
can keep the goat.
287
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,028
it was choking on the sweet
air of freedom in America,
288
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,364
so we brought it back
to your crappy country.
289
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,366
Oh, and here.
290
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,535
Take this American flag
as a gift.
291
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,751
[all cheering]
292
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,461
Hey, what the hell
are you doing?
293
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,796
They told us in school
294
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,089
Everyone but terrorists
love America.
295
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,715
[speaking native language]
296
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,175
What did you call us?
297
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,343
Your country
is the evil empire.
298
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,387
Your government wants
to rule the world!
299
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,473
But your values and spirituality
are in the gutter.
300
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,724
Then why did you
send us a goat?
301
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,518
Because in Afghanistan,
we have pride.
302
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727
If you send us something,
303
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,229
we must send something
in return.
304
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,398
It doesn't mean we don't
still hate you.
305
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,483
Now, get out of here!
306
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,486
Hey, hey,
open the door.
307
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,655
I told you,
Jawas have no hearts.
308
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,448
Jawas?
- You know, sand people.
309
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,700
How come they hate
America so much?
310
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,701
What the hell
did we do?
311
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,285
Well, we tried, dude.
312
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,287
If anyone else in this
craphole hates Americans,
313
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,248
we better just leave the goat
and get back to the plane.
314
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041
Alright.
315
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,502
Oh, look,
he's following us;
316
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,045
it's so sad.
317
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:52,713
God, I hate you
so much, Stan.
318
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,714
What?
319
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,341
[angry chanting]
320
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,142
Howdy.
321
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,770
Uh...Greetings
from Canada.
322
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,313
Well, boys,
it's "aboot" time
323
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:11,773
we get to our "hoose"
in Canada, isn't it?
324
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,442
Hey, what the hell are
you talking about?
325
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,318
I'm not a God damn Canadian
and neither are you!
326
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,528
Oh, Cartman,
you stupid asshole.
327
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,781
[all shouting]
328
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,784
[all speaking native language]
329
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,288
...Osama bin Laden!
330
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,123
[laughter]
331
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374
Good job, fat-ass.
332
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,584
Dude, don't call me
a Canadian.
333
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,880
[chanting echoing]
334
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,721
[gunshot, chanting stops]
335
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852
You gotta listen to me,
we're not spies!
336
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,437
[speaking native language]
337
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,897
Look, I think I can
explain everything.
338
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483
See, my friend Stan here is
an oversensitive animal lover.
339
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901
He got a boner
for this goat.
340
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653
[shouting]
341
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,908
Ooh, a la
bulla bulla bulla.
342
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,451
Oh crap,
it's him!
343
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,619
[goat bleats]
344
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,788
A mulla mulla
mulla?
345
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,499
Mulla hak a mulla.
346
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,917
Oh, dude, it's called
deodorant, okay?
347
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:12,959
It's not expensive.
348
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,422
Hakka maha mallah!
349
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,465
[speaking native language]
350
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,726
Ooh, a tukka tukka
mulla mulla.
351
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,978
America a booga
booga booga.
352
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,314
Hakka hakka
durka durka.
353
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,607
[laughs]
354
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,693
Hakka hakka
durka durka!
355
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,862
And...cut!
356
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,868
Dude, these people
are insane.
357
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,996
As more and more cases
358
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,624
of terrorist-related aids
continues to grow.
359
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,750
And this just in:
360
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,127
the Taliban has
apparently taken
361
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,587
American civilians
as hostages.
362
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,798
The Taliban has just released
this videotape
363
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,466
in which it is
clearly visible
364
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,553
that they have indeed
captured Stevie Nicks.
365
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,304
Miss Nicks appears to be
in good spirits,
366
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,098
though her whereabouts
are unknown.
367
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,474
Hey, Sh-Sharon,
368
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,352
have you seen Stan in
the last couple days?
369
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,730
Yes, I just saw him.
- Oh, okay.
370
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,482
With Stevie Nicks
in captivity
371
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,276
the other members of
Fleetwood Mac have been hidden
372
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,486
so the Taliban can't
get to them as well.
373
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,488
They...took
Stevie Nicks?
374
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,573
Bastards!
375
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701
Heartless,
gutless bastards!
376
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,827
Alright, men.
377
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245
Grab your guns
and your bibles.
378
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,706
We're going to
get Miss Nicks back.
379
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,165
[all cheering]
380
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625
The Taliban's video
also shows
381
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,670
what appears to be four
American children in captivity,
382
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,213
though they could
just be French.
383
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,339
We have to help them.
- [mutters]
384
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,757
They are not
the spies.
385
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,218
They came to give us
our goat back.
386
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,845
Screw them!
They're evil Americans.
387
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,806
I know, but if we don't
help the innocent ones,
388
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,142
then we are no better
than the Americans are.
389
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,685
Help Americans?
390
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,270
That doesn't
make sense.
391
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,855
Dude, we are speaking
English right now.
392
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,440
Does that make sense?
393
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,067
Alright, let's go.
394
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:01,985
[frustrated shout]
395
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,450
[all singing in native language]
396
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,496
Oh...jihad, jihad.
397
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,041
[alarm ringing]
398
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,462
Ooh, ooh!
399
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,339
America,
hakka hakka!
400
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,258
Dursha, durpa
durpa durpa!
401
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,387
Boola boola
booga wooga hagga.
402
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,476
Gurba de durka
and America!
403
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,519
Hey, what are you
guys doing here?
404
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,897
Shh, we've come
to save you.
405
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,856
But I thought
you hate us.
406
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,316
We do.
407
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,859
Durkka durkka...
408
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:45,904
Cartman, where are
you going?
409
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,489
I'm gonna go take care
of this prick.
410
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865
Cartman, he's crazy.
411
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,200
He's not crazy,
he's an idiot.
412
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826
I know how to deal
with these people.
413
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119
A flibbidy
flabbidy floo!
414
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,162
Jihad, jihad!
415
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,413
Hey...
[Bugs Bunny chewing]
416
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,456
what's up,
Bin Laden?
417
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,249
Aruba
duba duba!
418
00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,584
Durba durba hak!
419
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,919
Uh-oh, 5:30,
time to pray!
420
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,380
Ah la la...
421
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,422
tabba hagga?
422
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,967
Allah allah allah.
423
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,385
Ala hagga durpa,
durpa durpa haggalah.
424
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:11,096
[ding]
425
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,140
Uh-oh!
426
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,183
[smoooch]
427
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,313
We will have to
be quick.
428
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481
The Americans
are attacking!
429
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,108
Where do we go?
430
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,609
Get down!
431
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:33,535
[speaking native language]
[speaking native language]
432
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,372
You murdering
American!
433
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374
Hey, shut up, kid.
America didn't start this war.
434
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501
America did
start this war.
435
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378
They started it
years ago
436
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,798
when they put military bases
on Muslim holy lands.
437
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,564
Ramadan!
438
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523
Hey, look,
an infidel!
439
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,567
Ooh, pedro kabob!
440
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,080
So that's what
this is all about.
441
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,125
Ishtar fatwah
open sesame!
442
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,209
[smmoooch]
443
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,419
Ooh, tastes
like chicken.
444
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,962
The ass of
a chicken!
445
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,172
Toolah foo kabob!
446
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,757
Woo hoo!
447
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,258
We're coming, Miss Nicks,
448
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384
hang on!
449
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,470
[goat bleating]
450
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305
Alright, I've had
just about enough of this.
451
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,390
They told us in school,
and on TV,
452
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,434
that most people in Afghanistan
and Pakistan like America.
453
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,061
...and you believe it?
454
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854
It is not just the Taliban
that hates America.
455
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,273
Over a third of the
world hates America.
456
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,192
but why, why does a third
of the world hate us?
457
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,943
Because you don't
realize
458
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,320
that a third of
the world hates you.
459
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,529
That doesn't
make sense.
460
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,947
You guys are just
buttholes.
461
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,907
You're buttholes!
462
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:54,783
Both: You're buttholes!
463
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,787
Yoo hoo.
464
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,625
A dukka
dukka dukka.
465
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,171
Dukka dukka
dukka doo!
466
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,297
[whistles]
467
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,007
[howls]
468
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,898
Ooh, bella, bella,
falafel.
469
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,901
Mi amore,
fatwah, fatwah.
470
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,327
Ah, vino,
mi fatwah.
471
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870
J'ai une fatwah.
472
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,878
You really think
that your civilization
473
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,255
is better than ours?
474
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,422
You people play games
by killing animals
475
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841
and oppress women.
476
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,175
It's better than
a civilization
477
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,885
that's spends its time
watching millionaires
478
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512
walk down the red
carpet at the Emmys.
479
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,721
He's got us there,
dude.
480
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,601
I got her,
I got Stevie Nicks.
481
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,064
There you are!
Where have you been?
482
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,941
We have another
anti-American video to make.
483
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,985
Oh, video durka?
484
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,989
Hurry, get into
wardrobe!
485
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,449
Oh, hurry up,
will you, hurry!
486
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,452
Oh, you look
marvelous, darling.
487
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871
Hakka hamma hamma.
488
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,581
Come on, the cameras
are ready.
489
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,915
Alright,
there we go.
490
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041
Let's roll cameras.
491
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,418
Oh, and here's
your microphone.
492
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:33,131
Oh, America
a durka durka.
493
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,885
Uh-oh.
494
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,678
[all scream]
495
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,308
["America the Beautiful" on piano]
496
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,310
We've done it,
the Taliban is destroyed!
497
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,312
[all cheering]
498
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,063
Wow, I guess Cartman really
did take care of him.
499
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,190
Blh-blh-blh-blh!
500
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567
Terrorists is the
craziest peoples!
501
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,235
[braying]
502
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613
Oh!
503
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239
I got him,
I got him!
504
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,033
Well, looks like
the Taliban and Bin Laden
505
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,117
are finally out of power.
506
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,577
Yeah, you don't
need us anymore.
507
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,953
Hey, wait a minute.
508
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371
Y'know, you guys
should know one thing:
509
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,248
Most people in America
are good people
510
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,042
who just try to live day
by day like you guys do.
511
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,418
Maybe if you
took some time
512
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,086
to see all the great
things about our country,
513
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,088
you'd see we're not
so different after all.
514
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,381
Yeah.
515
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,634
That's fine,
but we still hate you.
516
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553
Oh...
517
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513
Well, I guess
maybe some day
518
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,933
we can learn
to hate you, too.
519
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,436
Maybe, in time.
520
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,104
I'm confused.
521
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,527
Great job, troops.
522
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,863
Once again we have
killed our enemies!
523
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,865
[all cheering]
524
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,659
The world is now safe
thanks to you.
525
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,993
And so now,
as promised,
526
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,956
here is Fleetwood Mac
with Stevie Nicks!
527
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,881
All: ♪ Just like the
one-winged bird ♪
528
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,675
♪ Sings the song
sounds like she's singing ♪
529
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,676
[goat bleating]
530
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,885
♪ Baby, said ♪
531
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,891
Come on, let's go
get to the plane.
532
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984
Dude, I almost thought
those Afghani kids
533
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,902
talked you into not
liking America.
534
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,070
No, dude.
535
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,571
America may have
some problems,
536
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,115
but it's our home,
our team.
537
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,908
And if you don't wanna
root for your team,
538
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,827
then you should get the hell
out of the stadium.
539
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,954
Yeah.
540
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,290
Go America.
Go America.
541
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,125
Go Broncos.
542
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,126
Yeah, go Broncos.
543
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,502
Yeah.