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00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,054
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
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♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
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♪ Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
10
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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[ Doorbell rings ]
12
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Oh, hello, boys.
13
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Hi.
The school called and said
14
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we all have to start
going to class again.
15
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Oh, but I thought
your teacher died.
16
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She did, but now they're saying
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we have to start going back
to school anyways.
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It's totally gay.
- Oh, well, I'll tell Eric.
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He's just down in the basement
playing with his dolls.
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Cartman likes
to play with dolls?
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[ Doll squeaking ]
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Hello, Precious.
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Yes, that's a good Precious.
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00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,400
Now it takes the lotion
from the basket.
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[ High-pitched voice ] Please,
mister! Let me out of here!
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[ Normal voice ]
It puts the lotion on its skin,
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or else it gets the hose again.
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[ Barking ]
[ Squeaking ]
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Yes, that's a good Precious.
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Okay, now, it puts the lotion
back in the basket.
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[ High-pitched voice ]
Please, mister, let me out!
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[ Normal voice ] It puts
the lotion back in the basket.
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[ High-pitched voice ] I miss my
mom, mister! I want to see my...
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[ Normal voice ] Put the lotion
in the fucking basket!
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Sweetie?
- Yes, Mom?
36
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You have to get ready
for school.
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No, our teacher's dead,
remember?
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Yes, but they said
two weeks off was enough,
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and they want everyone back.
40
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Two weeks isn't enough.
41
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I'm not over our teacher's
tragic death.
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I'm still sh-shooken up.
43
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You'll get over it, honey.
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But I want to playyyyy!
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[ School bell rings ]
46
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I can't believe it's been two
weeks since I've seen you guys.
47
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What have you been doing?
48
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Hey, guys!
- Hey, Bebe!
49
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You guys, uh, notice
anything different?
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00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,827
Oh, my God, Bebe, you got boobs!
51
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Yeah, they started
coming in last week.
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At first I thought they
were just mosquito bites,
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but then they didn't go away.
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M'kay, kids.
Let's take our seats, m'kay?
55
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:08,254
I know this has been a difficult
couple weeks for you all
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00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,297
with the untimely death
of your teacher.
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But it's time for us to try
to move on and learn, m'kay?
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00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,718
Mr. Mackey,
I don't think I'm over
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00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,387
the teacher's tragic death yet.
60
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I need more time. It's just --
It still hurts, you know?
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Can I go home?
- No, Eric, what we're gonna do
62
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is learn to hide our emotions
with math problems.
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M'kay, so, let's start with some
multiplication tables, m'kay?
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00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,900
First we'll do 4 times 4...
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Dude, look at Bebe.
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Something seems different
about her.
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Yeah, I noticed that, too.
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Did she get a haircut
or something?
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I don't know.
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Hey, Token, you know,
I never really noticed before,
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but that girl Bebe
is kind of cool.
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I was just thinking
the same thing.
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It's like she's a girl,
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but she's someone
you could hang out with.
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Yeah, Bebe is kind of cool, huh?
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Hey, Craig,
is that the same shirt
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that that Bebe chick
always wears?
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I don't know. Why?
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00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,725
It just -- It just seems like
a really awesome shirt.
80
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,977
Yeah, it kind of does.
81
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,067
M'kay, and so, uh --
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So, who can tell me the answer
to the first problem, 6 times 8?
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Uh, Bebe?
84
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Oh, uh...48?
85
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[ Boys ]
Whoa!
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That is an awesome answer!
- [ Boys ] Yeah!
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00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,331
Dude, Bebe is really smart.
88
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,957
Yeah, I never
noticed that before.
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Maybe she's actually cool
enough to hang out with us.
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Yeah, maybe.
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[ School bell rings ]
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But I was like, "I'm not buying
those shoes for $20."
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[All giggling ]
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00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,052
Uh, hey, Bebe.
- Yeah?
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Uh, we're gonna go throw
rocks at cars later on,
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and we thought maybe
you'd like to join us.
97
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,849
Really? I've never
done that before.
98
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,184
It's really fun!
99
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,685
You toss these
little rocks at cars,
100
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and if the driver gets angry,
you blame me!
101
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Yeah, it's cool!
102
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Well, sure,
that sounds hella fun.
103
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[ Laughter ]
104
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,318
Yeah, hella fun!
- She's right!
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Wow. "Hella" fun.
That's awesome.
106
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I'm gonna start saying that now.
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Cool.
We'll see you later, Bebe.
108
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Stan, you've never asked m e
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to throw rocks at cars
with you guys.
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That's different, dude.
You're, like, my girlfriend.
111
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,373
Bebe's just -- I don't know.
She's just cool.
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00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,166
Yeah, she's really cool.
113
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It's weird how we
never noticed before.
114
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So, what you do, see,
is you wait for a car
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to drive by that big pine tree.
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Then you chuck a rock at it.
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It's all about the timing.
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[ Loud bang ]
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You damn kids!
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Cool!
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You try it, Bebe!
- Okay.
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Here comes a sedan!
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[ Loud bang ]
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You damn kids!
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[ Group cheering ]
Cool!
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That was the most perfect throw
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I've ever seen!
- That was sweet, Bebe!
128
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,944
Now, if you just hold
the rock like this --
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00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,612
Yeah, here, like, if you put
your thumb on this side --
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I'm showing her.
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Yeah, just let me show her real
quick how to put the thumb --
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[Ape-like grunting ]
- [Ape-like grunting ]
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Anyways, you put a spin on it
by holding it here --
134
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Yeah, and then you can actually
hold it like this --
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[ Grunting ]
136
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,584
[ Grunting ]
137
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:53,669
[ Grunting ]
138
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,337
[All grunting ]
139
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,548
Uh, listen, guys, um, it's 5:30.
140
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,925
I'm supposed to get home,
so I'll see you later.
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[ Grunting continues ]
142
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,640
Wait.
What were we doing again?
143
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,933
We were throwing rocks at cars.
144
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,184
[All ]
Oh, yeah.
145
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,853
Here comes an S.U.V.!
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00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,229
[ Vehicle approaching ]
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00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,064
[ Loud bang ]
You damn kids!
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00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,774
[ School bell rings ]
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
150
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,195
[[ Boys ] Hi, Bebe!
- Hey, everybody.
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00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,948
Oh, for Christ's sake.
- M'kay.
152
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,743
Kids, yesterday,
I asked you to write a paper
153
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,369
to read aloud for the class.
154
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,912
Now, who wants to start?
155
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707
M'kay, Clyde.
156
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,292
My paper is called
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00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,627
"Why Bebe
Is the Coolest Person Ever."
158
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Hey, that's what I wrote about!
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Me too!
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[ Grunting ]
- [ Grunting ]
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00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,176
[ Boys grunting ]
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M'kay.
Go ahead, Clyde.
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00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,307
"My friend Bebe is really smart.
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00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,268
She tells funny jokes
and knows a lot about stuff.
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She's good at almost
everything she tries.
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She's awesome.
The end."
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00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:59,026
[ Light applause ]
168
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,861
M'kay. Very nice, Clyde.
169
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,364
Uh, Token, why don't you
read your paper?
170
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,075
"If I Could Be Bebe."
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00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,952
"If I was Bebe, I would have
lots of friends
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00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,662
because I would be so great.
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00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:14,291
I would make people smile
and think wherever I went."
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,461
M'kay.
Interesting, Token.
175
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,506
Uh...who would like to go next?
176
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:25,677
Uh, how about someone who didn't
write about how cool Bebe is?
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00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,388
[ Boys ]
Oh.
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00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,890
M'kay, Bebe.
179
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,975
"My Cat, Thumper."
180
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,185
[ Boys ]
Wow!
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"Thumper is gray
with a white spot.
182
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Sometimes he likes
to chase his tail."
183
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,358
[ Boys laughing ]
184
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,485
Chase his tail!
That must be so funny!
185
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,028
"Thumper is 12 years old.
186
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That's pretty old for a cat.
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00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,532
The end."
188
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:47,783
[ Boys ]
Wow!
189
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,243
God, you know, that's so true,
190
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,036
because you sometimes
never really think about
191
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,496
how old a pet is
until it's gone.
192
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081
That's true, huh?
193
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,999
Man, that really makes me
reflect on my pets.
194
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,919
That's such a great paper.
195
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,838
[Applause ]
196
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,507
M'kay, Wendy, why don't
we hear your paper?
197
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,134
"The New Cold War."
198
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,428
Oh, God, here we go again.
Dork alert!
199
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,596
[ Boys laughing ]
200
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,349
But then the mall closes
at 4:00 or 5:00, so --
201
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,059
Have any of you dumb girls
seen Bebe anywhere?
202
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,103
No!
- Maybe she's in the lunch line.
203
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,855
[ Boys ] Yeah!
204
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,106
Can you believe Bebe?
205
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,524
She thinks she's so cool
all of a sudden!
206
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,942
I can't stand her anymore.
207
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,527
She's such a slut.
- She's a total slut.
208
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,154
You know what I heard?
I heard that she made out
209
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,072
with eight different boys
in one minute.
210
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,157
I heard
that she lifted her shirt
211
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,700
to the boys at the bus stop.
212
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,119
I heard that her asshole
is, like, this big around.
213
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,370
[All ]
Whoa!
214
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,247
Hey, guys.
- Oh, hey, Bebe.
215
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,748
[ Coughing ]
Slut. Slut.
216
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,293
[ Coughing ] Slut. Slut.
- [ Coughing ] Slut.
217
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,420
You guys still want to go
ice-skating after school?
218
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,838
Oh, no, that's okay, Bebe.
219
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,131
You might trip,
and then we'd be sucked
220
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,299
into your huge, gaping vagina
221
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,050
like ants into a vacuum cleaner.
222
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,594
[ Coughing ]
Slut. Slut.
223
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,888
[ Coughing ] Slut.
- [ Coughing ] Slut.
224
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,347
[ Girls giggling ]
225
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,767
[ Sighs ]
226
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,193
Bebe, is something the matter?
227
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,112
Oh, Mom. It's just...
my girlfriends at school
228
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,906
said some really mean things
to me today.
229
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,868
They called me a slut
with a huge, gaping vagina.
230
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,787
Oh, sweetie,
you're all just growing up.
231
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,123
Part of being a woman
is having a friend one day
232
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,750
and calling her a slut the next.
233
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,084
But am I slutty just because
234
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,294
I'm starting to be friends
with guys?
235
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,670
I mean, they just like me
236
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,130
because they think
I'm smart and cool.
237
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,840
I remember,
when I was a little girl,
238
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,092
the boys didn't think
I was very smart at all.
239
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,677
But then one day,
240
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,679
they all started thinking
I was really smart.
241
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,891
I guess big smarts
just run in our family.
242
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,644
Well, if the girls don't want
to be my friends, that's fine.
243
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,771
Guys are way cooler anyways.
244
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,525
You guys wanted me
to meet you here?
245
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,110
Yeah, have a seat, Tweek.
We all need to have a talk.
246
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,362
Oh, God!
247
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,030
All right, guys,
now that we're all here,
248
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,324
I think we need to have
a difficult conversation.
249
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,743
It's obvious that Bebe is,
like, the coolest, smartest,
250
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,286
most awesome person
we've ever met.
251
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,788
True. Yeah.
- True. Yeah.
252
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,748
And, you know, we've been
trying to fill the gap
253
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,667
with a fourth friend
ever since Kenny died --
254
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,127
God rest his soul -- and it
hasn't been an easy process.
255
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,921
Right.
- Uh-huh.
256
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,049
So, even though I think it's
a tough thing to do right now,
257
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,176
I think maybe it's best
for everyone if we make room
258
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,845
to allow Bebe to be
our new fourth friend.
259
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,472
Yeah.
- That would be best.
260
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:16,723
Well, I'm glad
you guys all agree.
261
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,350
And so, Kyle, I just want to say
262
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,227
that it's been really great
and we're gonna miss you.
263
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,603
Huh?!
- Kyle?
264
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,313
And even though
it didn't quite work out,
265
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,856
I'm sure you'll find other
friends down the road, Kyle.
266
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,025
Here's a nice watch for you
and some peanuts.
267
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,486
Me?! Dude, I've been here
since the beginning!
268
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,154
And we're really sad
to see you go.
269
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,531
Let's give a big round of
applause for Kyle, everybody.
270
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,740
Hip-hip!
271
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,492
Dude, we're not
kicking Kyle out!
272
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,035
Pleeease?
273
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,078
No!
274
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,955
All right, fine!
275
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,332
So then I guess we have no
choice but to let you go, Tweek.
276
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,209
But we want you to know
that it's been really fun.
277
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,586
Here's a watch and some peanuts.
278
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,296
No way! Tweek's cool!
- Yeah!
279
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,923
Well, dumb-asses, how are
we gonna make room for Bebe?
280
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,971
Thanks for inviting me to ride
the bus to school with you guys.
281
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,055
Sure thing, Bebe.
282
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,807
That's fine!
That's fine!
283
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,519
Fuck you, Kyle,
and fuck you, Stan!
284
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,981
Fuck you, Tweek!
285
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,358
Bebe, you're still cool.
286
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,152
[ School bell rings ]
287
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,159
What are you doing?
- We're trying to get Bebe
288
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,702
to run for class president!
289
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,537
I 'm class president!
290
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,205
The vote was last fall!
291
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,790
Well, yeah. But, Wendy,
you have to admit
292
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,667
Bebe's a lot smarter
and more organized than you.
293
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,919
Yeah, we need
a leader like Bebe.
294
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,964
She can teach us all so much.
- [All ] Uh-huh.
295
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,050
She's not smarter
and cooler than everyone!
296
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,135
You guys are just drawn
to something else!
297
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,013
What?
298
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:42,059
God, you guys are so stupid!
299
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,311
Stupider than Bebe!
300
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,437
Yeah!
- Yeah!
301
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,397
Bebe's cool, huh, fellas?
302
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,315
Yeah!
- Yeah!
303
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,192
Sure is.
- Yep.
304
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,737
I can't wait to watch
"Terrance & Phillip" with Bebe!
305
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,823
Yeah!
Where are you guys going?
306
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,575
We're going to see
our friend Bebe.
307
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,952
Bebe is our friend.
Didn't you all get the memo?
308
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,454
Bebe is everybody's friend.
309
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164
Yeah, God put Bebe on Earth
310
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,916
to enrich everyone's lives.
311
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,292
[ Grunting ]
312
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,418
[ Grunting ]
313
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,504
Timmy! Timmy!
314
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,297
All right, I guess we can all
315
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,465
watch "Terrance & Phillip"
together.
316
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,634
[ Knocking ]
317
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,095
Oh, hello, boys.
- Is Bebe home?
318
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,930
No, she's with one
of her little friends.
319
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,307
But she should be back shortly
if you boys want to wait.
320
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,601
Who is she with?
- I believe she's playing "Lambs"
321
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,311
over at Eric Cartman's house.
322
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,979
Cartman's?
323
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940
See, and this is Precious!
324
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,817
Precious?
- Bark, bark, bark!
325
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,819
Okay, so, then we put
my mom's hand lotion
326
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,405
in this little basket and lower
it down to Polly Prissy Pants.
327
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,115
Uh-huh.
328
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,493
Now you say, "It puts
the lotion on its skin,
329
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,161
or else it gets the hose again."
330
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,080
It...puts the lotion
on its skin,
331
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,166
or else it gets the hose again.
- [ Laughs ] Yeah!
332
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,043
[ High-pitched voice ] Mister,
please let me out of here!
333
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,253
[ Normal voice ]
Now say it again -- louder!
334
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,629
It puts the lotion on its skin,
335
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,297
or else it gets the hose again.
336
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,800
Good! Now -- Now put the lotion
back in the basket.
337
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,510
[ High-pitched voice ]
My parents have money, mister!
338
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,011
They'll give you
whatever you want! Please!
339
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,304
[ Normal voice ]
Now just yell, "put the lotion
340
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,556
in the fucking basket!"
341
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:03,890
Put the lotion in the basket!
342
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,434
Put the lotion
in the fucking basket!
343
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,977
Oh, no, Precious!
344
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,270
[ High-pitched voice ]
I got your dog, mister!
345
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,896
Let me out or I'm gonna kill it!
346
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,815
[ Normal voice ] You say,
"Don't you hurt my fucking dog!"
347
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,442
Don't you hurt my fucking dog!
348
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,527
You bitch!
I'll cut your throat!
349
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,028
What the hell are you doing?
350
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,072
We're playing "Lambs."
351
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,323
Bebe, I thought we were gonna
352
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,783
watch "Terrance & Phillip"
today.
353
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,076
Yeah, and then we got to
work on your campaign!
354
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,286
Right, but first
we have to go to --
355
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,788
[ Boys grunting ]
356
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,081
You guys, calm down!
357
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,667
[ Grunting continues ]
358
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,213
Timmy! Timmy!
359
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,469
This is insane!
Stop it, you guys! Please!
360
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,515
Ow!
361
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,401
Oh, boy, I never meant
to cause all this trouble.
362
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,153
[ Grunting loudly ]
363
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,071
Aaaaah!
364
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,078
Bebe, those boys
from your school
365
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,664
are still waiting outside
to see if you'll come out.
366
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:10,665
I know.
367
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,292
They've been there all day.
368
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,680
[ Grunting ]
369
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:26,932
[ Grunting ]
370
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,975
[All grunting ]
371
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,855
[ Grunting ]
372
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:39,861
Looks like my little girl
has a lot of gentlemen callers.
373
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,656
Mom, why is everyone acting
so different around me?
374
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,200
Sweetie, you're just blossoming
into a woman.
375
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,202
But I don't know if I want to.
376
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,579
Sometimes I think I'm not
as smart and cool as they say.
377
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,748
That everyone just tells me I am
because of my hooters.
378
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,333
Sweetie, you're a Stevens.
379
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126
And Stevens women
are always told
380
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,671
they're really, really smart.
381
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,549
Mom, what's 6 times 8?
382
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,925
Oh, sweetie.
383
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,845
Those are two completely
different numbers.
384
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,392
[ Frightened grunts ]
385
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,061
All right, boys,
time to be getting home.
386
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,772
Bebe's not feeling well,
and she can't come out today.
387
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,315
Go on! Shoo!
388
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,943
[All grunting ]
389
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,702
Oh, whew!
We made it!
390
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,662
Boys, can you call 911 for us?
391
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:34,040
[All grunting ]
392
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,876
Oh, my God!
We've landed on Earth
393
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:36,960
thousands of years
in the future,
394
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,336
and apes have taken over!
395
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,046
I knew it!
You blew it up, didn't you?!
396
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:43,091
I don't want to live
in this futuristic madness!
397
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,719
Take your ape world
and go to hell!
398
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,890
Having boobs sucks.
399
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,393
Well, hello, there, little girl.
400
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,728
My name is Dr. Hallis.
401
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,229
What can I do for you today?
402
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,524
I want to have
breast-reduction surgery.
403
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,613
You?
- Yes.
404
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,033
I have $212 in nickels
and a gold bracelet.
405
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,493
Well, young lady, I'm afraid
that we don't offer
406
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,163
breast-reduction surgery
to girls of your age.
407
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,874
Why not? Britney Spears got fake
ones when she was a teenager.
408
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,626
Why can't I have mine taken off?
409
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,002
Because making breasts larger
410
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,629
is a beautiful
and wonderful thing.
411
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,214
Making them smaller is...insane.
412
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,133
I think it's insane
to want them bigger!
413
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,719
Why do you hate your breasts so?
414
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:28,970
Ever since I got
these stupid things,
415
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,430
everyone treats me differently.
416
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,723
I feel like
I might be treated differently
417
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:32,974
the rest of my life.
418
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,976
Oh, come on, now.
That's just silly.
419
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,603
Here's the Anderson file,
Doctor.
420
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,063
Oh, awesome!
421
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,065
Thank you so much, Jillian.
That's great.
422
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,567
Oh, God damn.
Thank you so much.
423
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,071
And here's the coffee
you wanted, Doctor.
424
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,697
Yeah, whatever.
Get out of here.
425
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325
Now, I was saying?
426
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,910
Please, you have to help me!
427
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,828
I think that if my breasts
keep growing this way,
428
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,580
boys will give me
whatever I want.
429
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,207
Yeah, so,
that's great, isn't it?
430
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,042
No, it's not!
Because if I grow up
431
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,835
getting everything I want and
having things made easy for me
432
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,295
because I have hot knockers,
433
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,130
then I'm gonna grow up
to be a lame person.
434
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,465
If I'm handed
everything in life,
435
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,675
then my chances
of becoming a lawyer
436
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,593
or a marine biologist are zero!
437
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,512
That may be true,
but I'm afraid I just cannot
438
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,722
ethically perform
a breast-reduction surgery
439
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,766
on an 8-year-old girl.
- Damn it!
440
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,393
If, on the other hand,
you'd like
441
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,894
to make them a little bigger,
I think now might be
442
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,229
the right time to size up, mmm?
443
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,981
Oh, fuck off!
444
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,693
Randy, could you have
a talk with Stanley?
445
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,111
Why?
What's the matter with him?
446
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,445
It's just that -- Well...
447
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,781
he's been acting a little
different lately.
448
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,491
Ah-tah!
449
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,035
Ah-tah!
450
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,955
He's been ignoring his homework
and all of his friends.
451
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,289
I can't figure out why.
452
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,208
STAN: Ah-tah.
453
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,544
Ah-tah!
454
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,463
Oh, boy. It looks like he's
starting to notice breasts.
455
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,048
Oh, yes.
456
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,217
Our little Stanley
is starting to become a man.
457
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,844
Ah-tah!
458
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,303
Ahh...ah-tah!
459
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,555
Hey, there, Son.
460
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,931
Huh?
461
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,474
Ah-tah. Ah-tah.
462
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,602
Yes, ah-tah.
Let's have a talk, Stan.
463
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,521
Tah...
464
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:05,400
Stan, as you get older,
boobs -- these ah-tah --
465
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,028
will start becoming
a major part of your life.
466
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,155
Ah-tah?
- But, Stanley,
467
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,323
you can't let them get
in the way of your friends.
468
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,200
There are lots of boobs
out there, son.
469
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,245
But they're just boobs.
Your friends are forever.
470
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,914
Friends...ah-tah.
471
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,375
I know you think this set
of boobs is important now,
472
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,919
but those boobs will be replaced
by another set of boobs.
473
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,504
Boobs will come and go.
474
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,590
And then, someday,
you'll meet a pair of boobs
475
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,175
that you want to marry,
476
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,302
and those become the boobs
that matter the most.
477
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,678
I love you.
478
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,097
If you can just
understand that, Stanley,
479
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,267
you'll see that boobs
hold no re a I power at all.
480
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,603
[ Ominous music plays ]
481
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,320
[ Right breast ] The boys are at war.
482
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,447
All is going as planned.
- [ Left breast ] Yes.
483
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,866
Soon all the boys
will be brought to their knees.
484
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,534
We grow larger every day...
485
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,744
And stronger.
486
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:58,995
BREAST #1:
Soon, the entire town --
487
00:17:59,120 --> 00:17:59,996
Shh! Shh!
She's awake!
488
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:00,997
Oh, quiet!
489
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,583
[ Screams ] Mom! Mom!
490
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,919
What is it, Bebe?
- My breasts!
491
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,379
Oh, sweetheart, you're
just becoming a young lady.
492
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,090
No, they're conspiring!
493
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,926
Mom, they were talking.
They want to destroy the town!
494
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,886
Yes, darling,
your breasts have a power
495
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,013
that will unleash itself
as you get older.
496
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,681
They feed off the misery of boys
497
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,725
and grow to bring woe
wherever they can.
498
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,019
You're blossoming into a woman.
499
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,521
That does it!
500
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,273
I'm not letting these things
run my life!
501
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,696
Young lady,
are you absolutely sure
502
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:37,200
you want to consider this kind
of procedure for your breasts?
503
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,328
Yes, I want to get
breast implants.
504
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,080
I tried to tell her
she was too young.
505
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,582
Well, it is a different time,
Mrs. Testaberger.
506
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,959
Society puts a lot of pressure
507
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,585
on your daughter
to look her best.
508
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,255
Having small breasts
can make her feel unimportant.
509
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,258
But she's 8!
510
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,052
Yes, well, not too young to feel
flat and, therefore, not pretty.
511
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,388
That's what I said.
- However, young lady,
512
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,807
I'm afraid breast implants
are not for everyone.
513
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,392
I'll need to carefully assess
514
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,561
your physical and mental
condition to see if augmentation
515
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,604
is truly the best way
for you to go.
516
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,356
I have $3,000 cash.
517
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,649
You pass.
Let's do this thing.
518
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,359
Oh, wait! You're gonna
do it right now?
519
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,404
Sure, breast augmentation
is now a very simple procedure.
520
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,698
What we do is make a small
incision in the armpit,
521
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,032
where it won't be seen.
522
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,742
Then we take
this little plastic bag
523
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,411
and gently place it
in the chest,
524
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,079
where we fill it
with salt water.
525
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,081
I still don't know about this.
526
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,834
Look, us plastic surgeons
have one philosophy --
527
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,128
If we can help someone's
self-esteem a little,
528
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:33,381
then why not do it
if they have $3,000?
529
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,550
[ Monitor beeping ]
530
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,309
[ Grunts ]
Got to...jam it!
531
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,393
Oh, there.
532
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,438
Get...in...there...you bitch!
533
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:52,025
Get...in...there...you bitch!
534
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:56,196
Ah. Okay, there's one, Wendy.
Doing great.
535
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,947
[ School bell rings ]
536
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:01,910
M'kay, kids, we need to
talk about your failing grades.
537
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,954
Bebe!
Where Bebe?!
538
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,331
[ Boys ]
Bebe!
539
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,041
Fire bad!
- Fire!
540
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,419
M'kay, we all have to start
studying more
541
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,630
and fighting less, m'kay?
542
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:14,797
Bebe!
- Bebe!
543
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:17,508
[All grunting ]
Ah-tah! Ah-tah!
544
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,345
Hey, guys.
- Hey!
545
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,472
Heh.
- Hmm.
546
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,896
Have you guys noticed that Bebe
isn't as cool as she used to be?
547
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,857
Yeah, what the hell
happened to us?
548
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,068
Oh, my God.
I get it now.
549
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,736
It was Bebe's boobs!
550
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,154
Bebe's boobs?
551
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,906
Oh, cool!
It worked!
552
00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,617
Don't you guys see? Boobs
do something to our brains.
553
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,619
They fill our brains
with illusions.
554
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,247
So...Bebe didn't become
smart and cool?
555
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,916
It was just her boobs?
- Yes!
556
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:53,253
So Bebe is actually just
as lame as she ever was?
557
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,797
Right! My boobs just
clouded your judgment.
558
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,298
But that sucks.
I don't want something
559
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,925
to have that much power over me.
560
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,469
I don't think it will, you guys,
as long as we realize it.
561
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,471
We must learn to control
their power over us.
562
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,265
Yeah, screw boobs!
They're stupid!
563
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,933
I'm sorry for fighting,
you guys.
564
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,351
I'm sorry.
565
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,770
I'm sorry, guys.
- Dude, I'm sorry, too.
566
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,730
Aww, that's so sweet.
567
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,941
Let's never let boobs
come between us again!
568
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,901
- [All ] Hear, hear!
- Boobs are stupid!
569
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,654
Hi, everybody!
570
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,367
[ Hysterical laughter ]
571
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,953
Look at those ridiculous things!
572
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,998
Ew! They're all hard and oogey!
573
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,666
What a stupid bitch!
574
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,710
[ Hysterical laughter ]
575
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,086
[ Laughs ]