1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,200
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,246
[Native American music plays]
11
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,836
Wow, dude.
12
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,589
Man, Indians have it good, huh?
13
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,341
Now, Eric, they're called
Native Americans, remember?
14
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,843
Show some respect.
15
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,928
Welcome to
the Three Feathers Casino.
16
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,306
I am your host,
Chief Runs With Premise.
17
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,808
Please try your luck
at one of our many games.
18
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,143
All right!
Let's go!
19
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,271
Hup! I am afraid minors
cannot go onto the casino floor.
20
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815
I'm not a miner, dumbass.
You see a shovel in my hand?
21
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,693
You kids can enjoy
our Native American comedy club.
22
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278
All right.
We're gonna hit the tables.
23
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,906
Why don't you kids run along
to the comedy club?
24
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,284
All right.
Time to win some money!
25
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,078
Oh, yeah.
Blackjack table!
26
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,621
Welcome to the blackjack table.
27
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,665
May luck run through you
like the spirit of the buffalo.
28
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,417
Gerald, this is $10 a hand!
29
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,710
Relax, sweetie.
30
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,504
[Whispering]
I know how to count cards.
31
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,880
Well, I don't want to play here.
32
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132
Yeah. Come on, Sheila.
Let's go to the nickel slots.
33
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,509
Ooh!
The nickel slots!
34
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,719
You might win the $30 jackpot!
35
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,012
[Both snickering]
36
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515
Ah, women, huh?
God, I hate 'em.
37
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,392
All right! Time to show
these people how to gamble!
38
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,645
Welcome to
the Three Feathers Comedy Club.
39
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,315
Please put your hands together
for Johnny Manymoons!
40
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,858
[Applause]
41
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,444
What is Native American comedy,
anyway?
42
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,447
Thank you.
Thank you.
43
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,991
Bear walked into a bar.
44
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:59,787
Bear said to deer,
"May I please...
45
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,998
...have a drink?"
46
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:07,169
And so deer said to bear,
"Why the big pause?"
47
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,420
[Thumping]
48
00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,132
[Chanting]
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
49
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,716
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
50
00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:17,429
Many moons ago, pony and eagle
walked up to coyote.
51
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:21,517
Pony said to coyote,
"I am very mad at eagle.
52
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,103
Will you yell at him for me?"
53
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:28,149
Coyote said to pony,
"Why can you not yell yourself?"
54
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:32,361
And pony replied,
"Because I am a little hoarse."
55
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,821
[Thumping]
56
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,407
[Chanting]
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
57
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,369
How's it going, Gerald?
58
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,537
Oh, not so good.
59
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,039
Yeah. I know what you mean.
I'm down 300 bucks.
60
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,749
Yeah.
I'm down $26,000.
61
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,794
Yeah. Well, maybe we should --
Wait. $26,000?!
62
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,130
I forgot to tell you.
I have a gambling problem.
63
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,464
Gerald, $26,000 --
64
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,967
Shh! I have to win it back
before Sheila finds out!
65
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385
Where did you get
that kind of money?
66
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,636
The casino gave me credit.
67
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,180
I put the house up
as collateral.
68
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,806
But I still have this $10 chip!
69
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,725
Dealer 21.
Sorry.
70
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103
That's it.
I'm destitute.
71
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,022
Loan me money! You've got
to have money in the cup!
72
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,441
W-What's in the cup?
- Just six quarters!
73
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,692
Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus.
74
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,652
Thank you for playing
at Three Feathers.
75
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,113
May your life be filled
with the song of the sparrow.
76
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,033
Oh, shove the song
of the sparrow up your ass!
77
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,743
[Insects chirping]
78
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,453
How am I gonna tell my family?
79
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163
How do I tell them
that tomorrow,
80
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,082
we have to pack up our things
and get out of the house?
81
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,459
There's Daddy!
82
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,960
Oh, Jesus.
83
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,463
Where have you guys been?
We've been looking all over.
84
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,756
Yeah. Come on, Dad.
This place sucks!
85
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,757
I want to go!
86
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,508
Wha-- What did you say?
87
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,469
I said I want to leave!
88
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,387
Oh!
You want to leave, huh?!
89
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,430
Okay.
Fine, Kyle.
90
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,599
When we get home,
we'll just pack up our things,
91
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,935
load 'em in the car,
and we'll leave!
92
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,061
What?
No, no. I mean --
93
00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,396
No, no, no. If you want to
leave South Park, fine!
94
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,190
Tomorrow we're leaving!
95
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,524
Gerald, what are you
talking about?
96
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,444
Oh, you heard him, Sheila.
Kyle wants to leave.
97
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,447
Our nice old house doesn't
"interest" Kyle anymore.
98
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325
Well, I'm calling
a moving company right now!
99
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,371
Well, you shouldn't be
such a dick, dude.
100
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,789
What's wrong with Gerald?
101
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,750
He -- He lost his house
to the Native Americans.
102
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,626
What?
103
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,045
But don't the Native Americans
know he has nowhere else to go?
104
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,630
They don't care.
105
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,882
[Down-tempo music plays]
106
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,093
Look at them.
107
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,304
Small-minded idiots
pouring their life savings away.
108
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,599
Their cash flows out of them
like diarrhea from the buffalo.
109
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,061
Yes, but we have milked these
simple mountain folk almost dry.
110
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,230
If we really want to see
cash flow,
111
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,816
we need to bring in city people
from Denver.
112
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,359
Yes.
113
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,028
It is time for us to implement
our plan --
114
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:42,366
a superhighway, built from
Denver right to our casino.
115
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,035
And what do we do about
the small town of South Park
116
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,787
that lies in the highway's way?
117
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,163
Simple.
118
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:52,126
We buy it...and we demolish it.
119
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,795
[Chanting] Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
120
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,130
[Chanting]
Ha ha ha ha!
121
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,633
And that's really
all I can tell you.
122
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,885
The town of South Park
is going to be leveled
123
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,596
in order to make way
for a 12-lane superhighway.
124
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,473
But how can they do that?
125
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,474
The Native Americans
126
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,184
have purchased the land out
from under us.
127
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,978
Tomorrow they're buying
the last of what they need
128
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,396
to have complete ownership.
129
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,732
Well, can't we stop them?
Let's call the bank!
130
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317
The Native Americans
bought the bank.
131
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,152
Oh, my God.
132
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,528
Now, look,
it isn't all horrible.
133
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,530
The Native Americans are
offering you retail values
134
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,531
on your homes.
135
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,490
No!
Screw that!
136
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,492
We'll just pool
our money together
137
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,202
and buy the town ourselves!
138
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,662
That's right!
- Yeah!
139
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,040
Yeah! Let the South Park people
own South Park!
140
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,291
Yeah!
- All right!
141
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,959
How much do we have to raise,
Mayor?
142
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,086
$300,000.
143
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,088
[Inhales sharply] Ooh.
- Oh.
144
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,798
[Crowd murmuring]
145
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633
Oh.
Never mind.
146
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,428
How can they do that, huh?
147
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,305
How can they make us
all move away?
148
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,265
Because they're rich,
greedy-ass Indians.
149
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933
Native Americans.
150
00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,144
Our whole town, gone.
[Down-tempo music plays]
151
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,855
We've had such great times here.
152
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,814
My God!
153
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,107
Aah!
- Aah!
154
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:57,983
Oh!
155
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,860
[Crowd screaming]
156
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,236
[Roars]
157
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,613
[Crowd screaming]
158
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,281
[Indistinct shouting]
159
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,324
Aah!
160
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,700
[ Screeches ]
161
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,993
[Birds chirping]
162
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,411
We can't let them do it,
you guys!
163
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,330
We have to find a way to stop
those Native Americans!
164
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,331
[All]
Yeah!
165
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582
Yeah.
This is our town!
166
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,501
We shouldn't have to make
new friends somewhere else.
167
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,502
We're a team!
- Yeah!
168
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,003
That's right!
- Yeah, that's right!
169
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,004
Yeah.
We're a team.
170
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,174
We just have to figure out
a way to raise $300,000.
171
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,885
Wait a minute!
I've got it, you guys!
172
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,054
We can get Kyle infected
with AIDS
173
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,514
and then start
a charity organization
174
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,099
that we steal money from!
175
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,850
Come on!
Let's go!
176
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,019
[Birds chirping]
177
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440
No?
We can't give Kyle AIDS?
178
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442
We need something that will
get us money tomorrow.
179
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,278
Hey! I know!
How about a dog parade?
180
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,279
Dog parade?
- Yeah.
181
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,115
We dress up all our dogs
in little outfits
182
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,491
and parade them down the street.
183
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,700
It'll be so adorable!
184
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,494
How do we make $300,000
doing that?
185
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,412
Oh.
186
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,580
Well, we could sell tickets
to our moms and dads!
187
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457
Our moms and dads are the ones
who need money, Butters!
188
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,875
Oh.
189
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:02,005
Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh?
Looking a little better now.
190
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,802
Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!
191
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,637
How can you do this to people?
192
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,766
We're sorry, but if we do not
build a superhighway,
193
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,561
our casino might stop seeing
profits.
194
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,896
There's more to life
than profits.
195
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,440
Like what?
196
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,734
Well, like, you know...
Slurpees and stuff.
197
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,155
Well, come on, honey.
198
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,699
I guess we should start
packing up our things as well.
199
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,702
Yeah.
So long, South Park.
200
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,328
Mom! Dad!
201
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,081
We figured out a way
we could raise $300,000!
202
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,417
A dog parade?
- No!
203
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,252
Stan, we've all tried
to raise money,
204
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,505
but we only raised $10,000,
and the deadline is tomorrow.
205
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,716
I know, so how about we take
the $10,000
206
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,092
back to the Indian casino?
207
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:47,968
Tell them, Kyle.
208
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,637
The odds on a single number
in roulette are 35 to 1.
209
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,349
That means with a $10,000 bet,
you win $350,000!
210
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,934
Boys, that's ridiculous.
211
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,603
Look, we-- we've got
nothing to lose.
212
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,938
What do you guys think?
- It's a long shot.
213
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:04,234
Yeah, but it's the only shot
we've got to save our town.
214
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,653
[Insects chirping]
215
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,282
"The residents of South Park
had hoped to raise $300,000
216
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,451
but in the end managed to raise
only $10,000.
217
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,077
The loss of their town
may be imminent
218
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579
for the poor people
of South Park."
219
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,373
[Baby talk]
Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!
220
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,501
[Chanting]
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
221
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,379
All right, boys.
You're gonna have to wait here.
222
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,547
Dad.
223
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,759
Good luck.
224
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,386
It's in God's hands now.
225
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,306
Stand aside, everyone!
226
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,310
What are they doing?
227
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,103
We're gonna try to beat you
at your own game,
228
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,855
Chief Runs With Premise!
229
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,359
$10,000 on 31 black.
230
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,818
[Crowd gasps]
231
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492
Impossible.
232
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,203
Come on.
Come on.
233
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,251
[Dramatic music plays]
234
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266
31...black.
235
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,226
Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
236
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,894
Oh, we did it!
We did it!
237
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,521
Oh, my God!
- Oh, this is amazing!
238
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,856
We did it!
- No! No!
239
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,233
[Cheering]
240
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,609
South Park is saved!
241
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154
We have plenty enough
to save our town now!
242
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,783
Yeah!
But wait. $350,000.
243
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,287
That means if we won again,
it would be $12 1/4 million!
244
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,329
[Crowd gasps]
245
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707
We could save the town
and be super rich!
246
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,835
Oh, hell, yeah!
Let it ride! Let it ride!
247
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,378
[Crowd cheering]
248
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504
What the hell are they doing?!
249
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,007
Let's go, 31!
Let's see it!
250
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,928
2 red.
You lose.
251
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,888
[All]
Ohh!
252
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,015
Damn it!
253
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,933
Hm!
254
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,394
They -- They had it!
255
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,313
They freakin' had it!
256
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567
You totally had it.
257
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,611
You had enough to save the town
and then some.
258
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:11,945
Stan, okay?
259
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,531
You just don't understand
the fine points of gambling.
260
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,367
You're never supposed to stop
when you're on a winning streak.
261
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,077
A winning streak?!
You played one game!
262
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,330
Stan, okay?
- What?!
263
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,332
All right, Stan.
Okay?
264
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,500
You people just got greedy,
like the Native Americans.
265
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:26,710
[Tires screech]
266
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,129
Hey, mister!
We're not like them, all right?!
267
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,256
Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky
dreams once in a while,
268
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,884
but we aren't the ones kicking
people out of their homes.
269
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,969
So don't you compare us
to those coldhearted,
270
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513
moneygrubbing, evil,
stinky Indians!
271
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350
I'm sorry -- Native Americans.
272
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:46,063
[Down-tempo music plays]
273
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,193
There you are, sir.
There's the check for your home.
274
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694
Just sign here and here.
275
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,031
Well, this is it, Mr. Slave.
We're officially homeless.
276
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,491
[Sobbing]
277
00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619
Jesus -- Jesus Christ!
278
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,205
Dad, what are you doing?
Don't take their dirty money!
279
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,748
Stanley, we don't have a choice.
280
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,917
The Native Americans own
South Park now.
281
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,461
We have to take what they'll
give us for our homes.
282
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,172
There you go.
Have a nice day.
283
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,966
Come on, you guys.
This is our town!
284
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,511
It's over, Stanley.
What else can we do?
285
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,013
We can stay...and fight.
- Yeah.
286
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723
When the Indians
come to tear up our town,
287
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016
we kick 'em in the nuts!
288
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:23,767
Mrph!
289
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,353
Yeah. They don't own our town.
We do!
290
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,562
I'm sorry, boys.
291
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398
You just don't understand
economics.
292
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,524
It'll be okay, boys.
293
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,026
We'll just move
to the next town over.
294
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:33,985
Oh, sure.
295
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,530
Until the Native Americans
decide they want that land, too.
296
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,990
What if the Native Americans
just keep building their casinos
297
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,159
and their highways until
we have nowhere else to go?
298
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,828
We have to stand up to them now!
299
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,249
Oh, forget it.
Come on, you guys!
300
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626
You're all a bunch
of goddamn pussies!
301
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,630
[Men chanting]
302
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,142
Get out of our way!
303
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,060
No! We won't let you destroy
our town!
304
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,229
Boys, it isn't your town
anymore.
305
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,148
Just because you have a piece
of paper saying you own it
306
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,149
doesn't make it yours.
307
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,151
We grew up here.
Our parents grew up here.
308
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,611
We shop at that Wal-Mart
and eat at that Chili's.
309
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,946
We take fish from the streams
310
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,906
and bread them and freeze them
to make fish sticks.
311
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,451
This is not just a town.
It is our way of life.
312
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,203
Well, your way of life
is about to change, little boys.
313
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,204
Now, move!
314
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,665
You can't just roll into places
and take people's lives away!
315
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,461
And what are four little boys
going to do to stop us, huh?
316
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,047
[All]
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
317
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
318
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,052
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
319
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,971
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
320
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,222
♪ We are strong ♪
321
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,308
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
322
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,769
♪ No one can tell us
we're wrong ♪
323
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,062
♪ Bom bom bom-bom,
bom bom bom ♪
324
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,690
♪ Searching our hearts
for so lo-o-o-ng ♪
325
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,942
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
326
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,528
♪ All of us knowing ♪
327
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,739
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
328
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,658
♪ Love is a battlefield ♪
329
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,910
[Down-tempo music plays]
330
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,537
This land is not for sale.
331
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,957
Damn it! I thought you said
they were dealt with!
332
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:11,958
They were!
333
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,210
Sorry, Charlies!
334
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,838
You can just keep your filthy
bastard Indian money!
335
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,590
Filthy bastard
Native American money.
336
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,759
Oh, right.
Sorry about that!
337
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927
This isn't over!
338
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,346
[Men chanting]
339
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,723
[Trucks beeping]
340
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,813
We'll never give up!
You bastards!
341
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,898
Yeah.
South Park is ours!
342
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733
But what do we do now?
343
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,278
I mean, we can't just stand here
and block their way forever.
344
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,698
We can stand here
as long as it takes.
345
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043
What is the state of our people?
346
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,379
Last night, I spoke with
The Spirit of the Bear,
347
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382
and Bear said that if we do not
build our superhighway soon,
348
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,135
our investors may soon sell off
their shares of the new casino.
349
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,472
Yes, and Eagle says the
cumulative shared market loss
350
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,809
on the revenue of the new casino
drops 15% every day.
351
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,061
Then we must force
the South Park people
352
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,271
off their petty land.
353
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,106
But they are determined
and proud,
354
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,900
and the Spirit of the Wind
has stated that if we use force,
355
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,569
it could be
a publicity nightmare,
356
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,279
further hurting our net assets.
357
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,448
I already have a plan how we
can force them off their land...
358
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,449
sneakily.
359
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,787
We're going to give them...
blankets!
360
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,330
Blankets?
361
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,208
Yes. We will present the
blankets as a peace offering.
362
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127
But what the round eyes
will not know
363
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,630
is that the blankets
are infected with SARS!
364
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,341
They will all get SARS,
365
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386
and then SARS will run through
their town like a buffalo.
366
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222
Now, I need your help getting
the SARS onto the blankets.
367
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,309
Okay.
Bring them in!
368
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,395
[Men speaking Chinese]
369
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,023
Let's see how South Park
deals with this!
370
00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,526
[Man shouting in Chinese]
371
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154
Everyone, grab a Chinese person
and rub them on a blanket.
372
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,906
[Men speaking Chinese]
373
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,490
Make sure you rub them all over!
374
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284
Get the SARS
nice and deep in there.
375
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,329
[Down-tempo music plays]
376
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,416
Tom, I'm standing
in chilly South Park, Colorado,
377
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543
where the residents
are entering the third day
378
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,879
of their sit-in to try
and stop Native Americans
379
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,381
from building a superhighway
through their town.
380
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,801
The temperature is low,
but spirits are pretty low, too.
381
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,015
What do they want?
382
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,601
We're not moving, ass-faces!
383
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,102
Free blanket?
384
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,481
Though we know
we have differences,
385
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524
we believe that a compromise
can be reached.
386
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,152
In the meantime, it hurts us
to see you all on television
387
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320
sitting in the cold.
388
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,448
Will you not take this offering
as a gesture of goodwill?
389
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,241
[Down-tempo music plays]
390
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,244
You had me at "free blanket."
391
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,375
Free blanket?
Free blanket?
392
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,626
Blanket?
393
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,711
Tom, it now looks
as if the Native Americans
394
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,172
are handing out blankets
as a sign of goodwill
395
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,715
towards the South Park people.
396
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,717
What an incredible display
of compassion.
397
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,971
I certainly hope there's
nothing sinister behind it.
398
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,473
Please, as a token
of good faith.
399
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,768
You understand if I'm
a little wary of trusting you.
400
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,354
It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.
401
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,314
Well, thanks.
402
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818
Oh.
You're welcome.
403
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,529
[Coughing, groaning]
404
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,322
Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,
405
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,324
and the outbreak of SARS
in South Park
406
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867
has reached epic proportions.
407
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,035
[Coughs, sniffles]
408
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829
The entire town
has been quarantined
409
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331
by the federal government,
nobody allowed in or out,
410
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875
which means nobody can come
to our aid.
411
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:41,876
[Sniffles]
412
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,131
It appears this town
and this reporter are done for.
413
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,633
Coming up next -- choosing
the right hair conditioner.
414
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,301
What you don't know
about hair-care products
415
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512
could be costing you a bundle.
416
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,682
[Down-tempo music plays]
[Coughing]
417
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,850
It's all right, Dad.
418
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560
[Weakly]
How's your...mother?
419
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,479
She's hanging in there.
Here. Drink some beer.
420
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,817
It's cool on my tongue.
421
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152
You're gonna be all right.
422
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,739
Stanley, listen to me.
I have SARS.
423
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,409
There's only a 98% chance
that I will live.
424
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,493
No, Dad!
No!
425
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,828
Listen, Stan!
426
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,205
SARS is destroying our people.
427
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,541
The Native Americans put it
in the blankets they gave us.
428
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,625
[Coughs]
429
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,211
Soon there will be
only 98% of us left.
430
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,212
[Groans]
431
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881
What can I do?
432
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,426
You...must find a cure
for SARS, son,
433
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,053
and save our people.
434
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,305
Cure SARS?
Aw, Jesus!
435
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,641
The spirit of middle-class white
people is strong in you, Stan.
436
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895
Seek out the wise man
in Bellocreek.
437
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,897
Now, go!
Go!
438
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,408
[Knock on door]
439
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,618
What?
440
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,745
Hey, my name's Stan,
and I was --
441
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622
Your coming was foretold to me.
442
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499
You've come to save our people.
443
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:03,541
Come in.
444
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,793
Watch the cats.
[Cats meowing]
445
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,212
Uh, so, do you know
how to cure SARS?
446
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,049
Me? [Chuckles]
No. I am just a guide.
447
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,050
Sit down.
448
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,385
You must find the answer
yourself
449
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,304
by taking an inward journey.
450
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,515
An inward journey?
That sounds kind of gay.
451
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,685
Let the voices of our ancestors
show you the way.
452
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,980
Breathe.
Breathe from the bag of visions.
453
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,317
[Inhales deeply]
454
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,695
Ugh!
Oh, dude!
455
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,283
How much longer must we wait
for our superhighway?
456
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,577
SARS has spread throughout
the entire town of South Park,
457
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,703
Chief Runs With Premise.
458
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,330
Their wills will break soon.
459
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,207
Then I suppose
we must be patient.
460
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,376
Runs With Premise,
come quickly!
461
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,585
What is the matter, wife?
462
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,671
It is our son,
Premise Running Thin.
463
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,922
He is very sick!
464
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,134
[Down-tempo music plays]
465
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,344
Premise Running Thin,
what is the matter?
466
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,264
He -- He shared a glass with
one of the people from China.
467
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,682
He has SARS.
468
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,226
No!
I told you not to touch them!
469
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270
Papa.
Papa.
470
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,981
I have given him herbs
from the desert plant
471
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,275
and water from the cactus
of life,
472
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,027
but nothing seems to be working.
473
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,863
This would not have happened
474
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157
if those townspeople
would have just moved away!
475
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,324
No more waiting around.
476
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,660
Tomorrow we begin
the final stage of our plan --
477
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,787
shock and awe!
478
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,165
[Moaning, coughing]
479
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,586
Dad! Dad!
480
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,795
Stanley!
[Coughs]
481
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,339
Did you have an inward journey
with the old man?
482
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,549
Did you have a vision?
483
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,718
I don't know if I did or not.
I-I saw something.
484
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,719
Someone spoke to me
485
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,680
and told me the middle-class
white way to cure SARS --
486
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,266
Campbell's chicken noodle soup,
DayQuil, and Sprite.
487
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,435
Yes.
Yes. Of course.
488
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729
Quickly, Stan!
We must give it to everyone.
489
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,357
[Down-tempo music plays]
490
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,322
Boy, that really did the trick,
Stan.
491
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,490
I thought we were kind of
sort of not really done for!
492
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,784
Thanks to you,
we're all safe now, Stan.
493
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,912
Aah!
494
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,751
Now I will blow your weak,
SARS-infested bodies
495
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,877
off the earth!
496
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,963
[Engines rumbling]
497
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,215
What the...
498
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,344
Wait a minute.
Stop! Stop!
499
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,598
Your -- Your SARS --
Where did it go?
500
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,391
We have cured ourselves
501
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,394
using the medicines
of our culture.
502
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,857
My son, Premise Running Thin,
has the SARS as well.
503
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,526
You -- You can cure him?
504
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784
It is amazing.
505
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,328
All our plants and herbs
failed to heal him.
506
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,746
But your people's remedy
507
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,624
brings the spirit of the buffalo
back into his heart.
508
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,127
Perhaps there are many things we
can learn from your way of life.
509
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,295
We're a simple people.
510
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,756
All we want is to be allowed
to live our lives.
511
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591
You have cured
Premise Running Thin.
512
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:03,471
In return, I shall give you all
$5 credit at the casino.
513
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,640
All right.
All right.
514
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,767
I will not build a superhighway
through your town,
515
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,686
and you can
all have your homes back.
516
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229
All right!
- Yeah!
517
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,146
Whoo-hoo!
518
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,439
Well, I guess we all learned
519
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,483
that South Park
is more than just a town.
520
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,111
It's a community
that nobody can split up.
521
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,533
Dude, who the hell are you?
522
00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,243
Alex.
523
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,995
Alex Glick?
524
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,831
I got to come on
and do the guest-voice thingy.
525
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,208
What?!
Get the hell out of here!
526
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,252
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Hi, Jill!