1 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! 9 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,620 [ Squeaking ] 11 00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,332 - Zhhhh! - Rrrrr! 12 00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,752 Captain Cartman reporting from shuttlecraft Spontaneity, 13 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,336 approaching planet Omega Nine. 14 00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,589 Warp drive disengaged. Landing sequence initiated. 15 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,049 What kind of atmosphere are you reading 16 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,467 on the planet's surface, Jew? 17 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,886 - I'm a Vulcan! - All right. 18 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,346 What kind of atmosphere are you reading, Vulcan-Jew? 19 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:57,349 The atmosphere is oxygen-based. Should support our breathing. 20 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018 All right. Hang on. We're about to land. 21 00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,729 - Rrr! Br-br-br-br-br-br! - Zhhhh! 22 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,563 Okay. 23 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,023 First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny, 24 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,274 come with me on the away team. 25 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,609 Vulcan-Jew Kyle will wait here. 26 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,027 No! I'm on the away team, too! 27 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,654 It's my mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle! 28 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740 I don't care! You're not making me wait in the van again! 29 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,657 Fine, Kyle! 30 00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,701 But if something goes wrong on the planet's surface, 31 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,536 don't hold me responsible. 32 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,290 [ Dramatic music plays ] 33 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,209 Set phasers on stun. 34 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794 Things seem pretty quiet. 35 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712 Yes. A little too quiet. 36 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,423 I am picking up carbon-based life-forms in Sector C. 37 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,508 I believe we will find 38 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,551 a village of peaceful aliens over that ridge. 39 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,720 Ugh. Okay. Fine. I guess we'll go look -- 40 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,888 Oh, no! Look out! 41 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681 It's a giant four-headed lava frog! 42 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,682 Shoot it! 43 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,309 - Byew-byew! Byew-byew! - Byoo! 44 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,936 Oh, no! It's got Kyle! 45 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,145 No, it doesn't. 46 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,980 Oh, it's got Kyle, and it's tearing his head off! 47 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,649 Oh, you guys, looks like Kyle is done for. 48 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,650 No, I'm not! 49 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,027 God damn it, Cartman, you are not gonna kill me off again! 50 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,153 Ugh. You see, guys? 51 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,364 This is why you don't bring Jews along on the away team. 52 00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:54,323 They don't play along. 53 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,408 Shut up about Jews, fat-ass! You don't know anything! 54 00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:57,576 Oh, God. Here we go again. 55 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,829 Oh, yeah? I saw Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion." 56 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,248 And Mel Gibson says in the movie Jews are the devil! 57 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,874 - He does not! - How do you know?! 58 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,960 I've seen "The Passion" 34 times now, Kyle. 59 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,294 You haven't seen it once! 60 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,547 There's one part where the Jews have a chance to save Jesus, 61 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:10,548 and you know what they do? 62 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,008 They let Barabbas, a serial killer, go free instead 63 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,093 and laugh about it! 64 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,011 - Nuh-unh! - Go see the movie, Kyle! 65 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,888 I'm sick of you guys arguing about "The Passion." 66 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014 - I'm out of here. - Mrph rm. 67 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,516 I'm not arguing about "The Passion"! 68 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,684 He's being an asshole! 69 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,894 You know what it is? You're scared. 70 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,146 You're scared of the truth. 71 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,772 You don't want that movie to show you 72 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,275 just how bad the Jews are and why everyone hates you. 73 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,110 - People don't hate the Jews! - Really? 74 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,279 $300 million domestic box office, Kyle. 75 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,198 The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle. 76 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,867 Those numbers don't lie. 77 00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,452 If you're not scared of "The Passion," then go see it. 78 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,246 Go see it and tell me I'm wrong. 79 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,081 Mel Gibson, Kyle. 80 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,000 Mel Gibson. 81 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:48,919 You're a stupid asshole. 82 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,634 Sweet. Now I can just play with myself. 83 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179 Pew-pew-pew! Get back in the shuttlecraft! 84 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,357 One, please. 85 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,194 This is an R-rated movie. 86 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,320 Yeah, I know. But I have to -- 87 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,614 But because this is such an important film 88 00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,491 that accurately depicts the selfless acts of Jesus Christ, 89 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,327 I'll let you in to see it. 90 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,120 Thanks. 91 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,459 [ Suspenseful music plays ] 92 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,716 [ Men speaking Aramaic ] 93 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,390 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ] 94 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,313 [ Whipping, screaming continue ] 95 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,487 Aah! 96 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,490 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ] 97 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,872 [ Music continues ] 98 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,006 [ Down-tempo music plays ] 99 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,049 How? 100 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,510 How could the Jews do that to Jesus? 101 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,804 Pretty brutal, isn't it? 102 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,307 Kind of makes you want to change your life, huh? 103 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,393 MAN: And now back to "Terrance & Phillip." 104 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,144 - [ Doorbell rings ] - PHILLIP: Hey, Terrance! 105 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,479 Mom! Doorbell! 106 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,274 TERRANCE: Wait. Before you do, pull my thumb. 107 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,401 - [ Doorbell rings ] - Mom, answer the door! 108 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,236 [ Laughter on television, doorbell rings ] 109 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,988 God damn it. Lazy-ass whore. 110 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,407 TERRANCE: Fart. [ Farts ] 111 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909 [ Thunder rumbles ] 112 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,870 You were right. You were right all along. 113 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,998 I thought you were just an asshole when you ripped on Jews, 114 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 but...I didn't know. 115 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,168 I-I didn't know. 116 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,588 It's okay, Kyle. It's okay. 117 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,466 Just...say that first part again. 118 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,469 You -- You were right? 119 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972 Mm. One more time, Kyle. 120 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,974 You were right. 121 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479 I want to thank You for all the blessings You have brought me. 122 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,773 You have shown me the way so many times in the past, 123 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900 and now You are making all my dreams come true. 124 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,736 You give me strength where there is doubt, 125 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,446 and I praise You for all You have done. 126 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,532 Only You, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage 127 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,992 to show the world the truth. 128 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,994 From this day forward, I will dedicate my life 129 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,246 to making sure Your film is seen by everyone. 130 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,041 I will organize the masses so that we may do Thy bidding. 131 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,960 Hail Mel Gibson. Amen. 132 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,130 Look at that, dude. 133 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,299 "The Passion" has made almost $400 million 134 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,009 - at the box office now. - Mrph rm. 135 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,927 Everyone in the country is going to see that movie. 136 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,472 I guess we have to go see it, too. 137 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,810 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ] 138 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:58,067 [ Man groans ] 139 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,652 [ Down-tempo music plays ] 140 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955 Dude. 141 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,665 That movie sucked! 142 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,167 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 143 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,794 How do they even call that a movie? 144 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:17,878 Mrph rm! 145 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,880 That's bullcrap, dude. Let's go get our money back. 146 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,840 Mrph! 147 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,177 Wow. I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was. 148 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,387 Me neither. 149 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,723 Oh, honey, let's be good Christians from now on. 150 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,768 I think if more people saw "The Passion," 151 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,144 they'd have faith in Jesus. 152 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,523 Yeah. It really guilt-trips you into believing. 153 00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,361 - Hey, we want our money back. - Huh? 154 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,488 That movie sucked ass. Give us back our $18. 155 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,074 I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie. 156 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,075 That wasn't a movie. 157 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,618 - That was a snuff film. - Mrph! 158 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,329 You can't charge to watch a guy get tortured for two hours. 159 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,164 That guy happens to be Jesus. 160 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917 And he went through all that to pay for your sins! 161 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,127 We go to church to learn that stuff. 162 00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,420 We go to movies to be entertained. 163 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,130 We weren't entertained, and we want our money back! 164 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,714 I'm not allowed to give your money back 165 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299 after you sat through the whole movie! 166 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,801 You'd have to take your complaint up 167 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,428 with the film's producers. 168 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,305 What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson? 169 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,141 Yeah. I'd like to see you try. 170 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,142 Oh, we will. 171 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,810 This is America, and in America, if something sucks, 172 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437 you're supposed to be able to get your money back! 173 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272 Come on, Kenny! 174 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,357 [ Moaning ] 175 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,484 [ Harp plays ] 176 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,570 [ Thunder crashing ] 177 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531 - [ Hissing ] - Kill him! 178 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,074 - Kill Jesus! - Kill him! 179 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,492 Kill that guy! 180 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,037 [ Screaming ] 181 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,748 - Kill him! - Watch him die! 182 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,750 Kill Jesus! Eeeeeh! 183 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,586 [ Hisses, growls ] 184 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,547 [ Thunder crashing ] 185 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,925 [ Laughing ] 186 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,890 [ Screams ] 187 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,851 [ Birds chirping ] 188 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,562 Okay. Search for "Mel Gibson." 189 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,481 Mel Gibson bio. Mel Gibson news. 190 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,940 Mel Gibson home page. Here we go. 191 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859 "Welcome to melgibsonsthepassion.com -- 192 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,235 your source for everything Mel. 193 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653 Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects." 194 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,946 Damn it. No phone number. Oh, wait. 195 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,198 "For more information on Mel Gibson, 196 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,949 call the webmaster at 1-800-43..." 197 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:11,950 Okay. Wait. Here we go. 198 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,203 [ Telephone beeping ] 199 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,789 [ Telephone rings ] 200 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,877 Mel Gibson's "The Passion" Fan Club. 201 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,004 Hi. My friend and I just went to see "The Passion." 202 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797 And so you want to join the fan club now. 203 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,841 Our first meeting is tomorrow at 5:30 p.m. 204 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,219 No, no, no. No. We want our money back. 205 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,012 - What? - We think the movie sucked, 206 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,932 and we want Mel Gibson to give us back our $18. 207 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:35,933 You thought it sucked? 208 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,476 Sir, apparently you don't understand 209 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894 what Mel Gibson was trying to do. 210 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,479 He was trying to express, through cinema, 211 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439 the horror and filthiness of the common Jew. 212 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,483 It has made people the world over open their eyes. 213 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,276 Look, we just thought it was a bad movie. 214 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,487 So tell us how to get in touch with Mel Gibson. 215 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,405 If I knew where Mel Gibson was, I'd be down on the floor 216 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,324 licking his balls at this very moment, sir. 217 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,284 All I know is he lives somewhere in Malibu. 218 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,078 Now stop wasting me and Mel Gibson's time, 219 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,412 you little wussy prick. 220 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,623 Don't take that tone with me. I'll kick your ass. 221 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,583 Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try, asshole! 222 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,876 I'm like 6 feet tall! 223 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,795 I don't care. You sound like a little bitch to me! 224 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172 Bitch, don't call me bitch! I'll pop your fucking head open! 225 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,549 You want to bring it, you little pussy? 226 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,800 I already brought it, bitch! 227 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177 I brought it, set it down on the table, and opened it, bitch! 228 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,846 Wait a minute. Cartman? 229 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,599 Ooh. 230 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061 Come on, Kenny. We're going to Malibu. 231 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,105 - Mrph? Mrph rm? - We'll take the bus! 232 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,399 Look, this isn't about the $18 ticket money anymore. 233 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,776 This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible. 234 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,821 This is like when we got our money back for "BASEketball." 235 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,368 [ Humming ] 236 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,664 Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch of people showing up 237 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,833 in our backyard saying something about a meeting. 238 00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,084 Yeah, Mom, I'm holding a meeting 239 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,086 for all the people who loved "The Passion" as much as I did. 240 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588 Oh, that's great, sweetie! 241 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,007 - Tell them I'll be down shortly. - Okay, hon. 242 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,009 [ Crop snaps ] 243 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,719 Toten sie die Juden! 244 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,347 Wir konnen nicht stillstehen, bis sie alle tot sind! 245 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,765 Okay. I'm ready. 246 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,393 I am ready to do Thy bidding, Mel Gibson. 247 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,272 [ Birds chirping ] 248 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,274 Hello. Are you folks holding this "Passion" meeting? 249 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067 No, actually, we're guests as well. 250 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,028 I'm Jack Garrett, and this is my wife, Elise. 251 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:11,862 Hello. 252 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,114 I think it's so great that somebody took the initiative 253 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,365 to have a meeting like this. 254 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,366 Oh, I agree. 255 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,327 There are so many of us who were moved by "The Passion." 256 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,120 It's a perfect idea to have us organize 257 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,080 so we can strengthen the Christian community. 258 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,291 And apparently the organizer is just an 8-year-old boy 259 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,542 who was touched by the film. 260 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,669 Leave it to a child to show us all the way, huh? 261 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,379 So I seen this ad on the Internet 262 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,839 saying if you loved "The Passion" 263 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466 to come to this meeting, so here I am. 264 00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343 It's great that everyone came here to figure out 265 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,553 how to use "The Passion" to enrich everyone's lives! 266 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,305 [ Indistinct conversations ] 267 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,183 Uh, hello, everyone. Achtung. 268 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:43,685 My name is Eric Cartman, 269 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,771 and I am the president of the Mel Gibson Fan Club. 270 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,439 [Applause ] 271 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,440 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 272 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,442 I'm happy to see all of you were affected by "The Passion" 273 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,443 like I was. 274 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820 Now, we all know why we're here, 275 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,406 and I believe we all know what needs to be done. 276 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,908 We sure do! 277 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,242 [ Cheers and applause ] 278 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,620 But I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it 279 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,206 until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps. 280 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,166 [ Down-tempo music plays ] 281 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,959 W-What does that mean, sweetie? 282 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544 I'm not sure, but -- 283 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,672 Folks, I just want to interrupt for a second 284 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173 and say how remarkable it is 285 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,300 that this little boy brought us all together. 286 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,345 "The Passion" is causing a revolution of spirituality, 287 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,306 and we owe Mel Gibson and this little boy our thanks. 288 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,892 - [ Cheers and applause ] - Thank you. Thank you very much. 289 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,187 Now, in order to do what we all know needs to be done, 290 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,980 we are first going to need more support. 291 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023 I think we should all go out 292 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,275 and take at least one other person to see "The Passion." 293 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,568 Oh, what a great idea! 294 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,278 We each make it our responsibility 295 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,905 to convert one more person! 296 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,573 - Great! - Great idea. 297 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing, 298 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369 if you know what I mean. 299 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,412 We sure do! 300 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,663 - All right! - Whoo-hoo! 301 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,043 [ Door opens, closes ] 302 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,086 Thank you. 303 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,921 This must be the place. 304 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,552 God damn. Mel Gibson must be loaded! 305 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,222 [ Doorbell rings ] 306 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,641 [ Harp plays ] 307 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,768 Yes? 308 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,020 Oh, hi. Uh, my name is Stan, and this is Kenny. 309 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:09,938 Mrph. 310 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,149 Um, we saw your movie "The Passion," and we didn't like it. 311 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,984 So can we have our money back, please? 312 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,487 You can't not like "The Passion"! 313 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,865 I just followed the Bible! Christ died for you! 314 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,074 Go home. 315 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,993 [ Door closes ] 316 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411 Look, dude. We came a long way. 317 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,246 We're not leaving until you give us our money. 318 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,290 Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna have to find it first. 319 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,125 But I won't tell you where I keep my money. 320 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,753 You can torture me all you want! I still won't tell you! 321 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,795 T-Torture you? 322 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,465 Ah! So you do intend to torture me, huh? 323 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,966 Well, go ahead! 324 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,301 Do your worst! 325 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,219 You still won't get your ticket money back! 326 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,430 I can take whatever you can dish out! 327 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,557 - We don't want to torture you. - I get it. 328 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225 But you don't have a choice. Is that it? 329 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,268 Well, go ahead! 330 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,521 I just hope you don't use those whips over there on the wall! 331 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982 Dude, can we please just have $18 back from you? 332 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942 I have to use that money to build my church. 333 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,236 I've brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity 334 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,363 with "The Passion," and now I'm gonna start my own church. 335 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,408 And do you know why? So I can play banjo! 336 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,243 ♪ Jesus, oh, how I love ya ♪ 337 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,287 ♪ How I love ya, Jesus ♪ 338 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,206 Dude, this guy is freakin' daffy. 339 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,500 How dare you call me crazy?! 340 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,376 This means war! 341 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,004 [ Whooping ] 342 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,380 - Aah! - Mm! 343 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,007 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 344 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 345 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,513 And so it was that God sent His only son down from heaven 346 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,515 to die for our sins. 347 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434 Uh, okay, but did God send Jesus to die 348 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,853 or did Jesus just get kind of screwed over? 349 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,523 What is troubling you, my child? 350 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149 Well, I have this friend, see, 351 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277 and this friend belongs to a certain chosen people of Israel. 352 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,906 And it so happens that these chosen people killed your Lord. 353 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866 Ah. You mean he's a Jew. 354 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,910 Right, but he can't live with the guilt anymore, 355 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,120 because even if Jesus wasn't really the son of God, 356 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,455 he was still a nice guy 357 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,707 and didn't deserve what happened to him in Mel Gibson's movie. 358 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,792 I can't sleep at night -- 359 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,502 I mean my friend can't sleep at night! 360 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,546 Yes. "The Passion" is very powerful. 361 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840 The truth is, there's not a whole lot in the Bible 362 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049 about the crucifixion. 363 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,301 "The Passion" was actually done as a performance piece 364 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,846 back in the Middle Ages to incite people against Jews. 365 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,305 But how can the Jews make it better? 366 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349 Well, if you really care about your friend's soul, 367 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,393 then perhaps show him the way of Jesus. 368 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,479 Remember, Christianity is about atonement. 369 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,147 Wait. That's it. 370 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,524 Atonement! Of course! 371 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,402 I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Father! 372 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,029 - Aah! - Mm! 373 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,740 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! 374 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,743 Two days ago, I saw a rig that could haul that tanker. 375 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329 You want to get out of here? You talk to me. 376 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,874 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 377 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,126 Mel Gibson is fucking crazy, dude! 378 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,086 Wait! There's his wallet! 379 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,005 GIBSON: Free-e-e-e-dom! 380 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,339 Aw, crap! He's only got twenties! 381 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,674 You got $2, Kenny? 382 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,551 GIBSON: Jesus is Lord! 383 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,386 All right! Let's get the hell out of here! 384 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪ 385 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,558 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪ 386 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,311 ♪ When you're a clown ♪ 387 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,522 ♪ Nobody takes you seriously ♪ 388 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,773 [ Dramatic music plays ] 389 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,775 Run, dude! Run! 390 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,154 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah! 391 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:08,909 ♪ And good evening, a-friends-ah ♪ 392 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,955 [ Crowd cheering ] 393 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375 One month ago today, this amazing film opened in theaters. 394 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,628 And now we proud few gather here 395 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,713 as a people brought together by its message! 396 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,176 Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, our numbers have grown. 397 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,471 And now, together, we have the power to change the world. 398 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,141 Now I believe we should take to the streets 399 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144 and march in unwavering support of this important movie. 400 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562 Oh, great idea! 401 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,813 It'll be like a parade! 402 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,316 - Good idea! That's great! - Love it. 403 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,776 And as we march for "The Passion," 404 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,152 we should also voice our support. 405 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,156 So when I say, "Es ist zeit zu saubern," 406 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,616 you all chant back, 407 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,160 "Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten"! 408 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287 What does that mean, dear? 409 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290 Oh, I think it's Aramaic -- You know, like in the movie! 410 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084 Ooh! Aramaic! Cool! 411 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,586 - Neato! - That'll be awesome! 412 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672 What was our Aramaic line again? 413 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,257 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 414 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,844 ALL: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 415 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,888 Est is zeit fur rache! 416 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848 ALL: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 417 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,433 Oh, this is fun! 418 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,645 All right, everyone! Forward...march! 419 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563 Es is zeit fur rache! 420 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,774 ALL: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 421 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859 Es is zeit fur rache! 422 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,195 ALL: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 423 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,197 Nice. 424 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,829 Shalom, hacknak, shalom. 425 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,916 And now one of our fine young schlockers, Kyle Broflovski, 426 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,585 has asked if he could speak to the congregation. 427 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,878 Thank you, Rabbi. 428 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382 [ Clears throat ] In 1973, 429 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,384 the United States officially issued an apology 430 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,386 to the African-American community for slavery. 431 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,930 In 1956, Germany officially apologized 432 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682 for World War II and the Holocaust. 433 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,393 And now I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community 434 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,312 needs to apologize for the death of Jesus. 435 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,481 [ Crowd murmuring ] 436 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,566 Wha-Wha-What?! 437 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568 If we as a people choose not to believe 438 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,070 that Jesus is the son of God, then we can still apologize 439 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905 for the brutal way in which he was killed 440 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,033 and take our share of the responsibility for it. 441 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,284 Oh, my God! 442 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,202 [ Crowd murmuring ] 443 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,246 Kyle, what on earth has gotten into you? 444 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,414 I saw "The Passion"! 445 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,874 - Oh, no! - That movie again? 446 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:21,916 "The Passion"? 447 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,752 This proves the horrible anti-Semitic effect 448 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,836 that movie is having! 449 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,881 Yeah, it makes Jews into stereotypes. 450 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,842 Stereotyping Jews is terrible! 451 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887 Something must be done to stop that movie! 452 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,930 Now, now. Everyone, calm down. 453 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,807 We live in a rational community, 454 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,185 and everyone knows this is just a movie. 455 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,811 There's no cause for alarm. 456 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,314 CROWD: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 457 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816 CARTMAN: Es is zeit fur rache! 458 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,735 CROWD: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 459 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,446 Es is zeit fur rache! 460 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823 CROWD: Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten! 461 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,159 CARTMAN: Es is zeit fur rache! 462 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:03,416 Well, it looks like with these bus tickets, we spent about $87 463 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,001 getting our money back from Mel Gibson. 464 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,711 But I think it's the principle that matters. 465 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,796 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 466 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,048 [ Horn blaring ] 467 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,801 Oh, you've got to be shitting me. 468 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,886 [ Dramatic music plays ] 469 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,222 Give me back my money! 470 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,474 God damn, that guy is crazy. 471 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,558 [ Horn honking ] 472 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,685 - Hey, dude, you got to speed up. - Huh? 473 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854 Mel Gibson is chasing after us. You got to go faster. 474 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,857 Ha ha. Very funny, kid. Sit down and stop playing games. 475 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,984 Mel Gibson is right behind you, and he's gonna -- 476 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,236 [ Thud, tires screech ] 477 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,320 What the hell? 478 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,698 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah! 479 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,242 Hey! That's Mel Gibson! 480 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,493 Yeah, I told you that! 481 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,994 Well, what the hell does he want? 482 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788 He wouldn't give us our money back for "The Passion," 483 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,914 so we kind of took it. 484 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,624 You didn't like "The Passion"? 485 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626 But it shows how Christ suffered for you. 486 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,711 Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man. 487 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:49,796 [ Thud ] 488 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,840 [ Insects chirping ] 489 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,883 [ Indistinct shouting ] 490 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,718 You guys, stop! Please! 491 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,262 You're gonna make people hate us more! 492 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,139 Can I help you? 493 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,558 This movie is causing ! 494 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,393 You must remove it from your theater! 495 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,436 - That's right! - Remove "The Passion"! 496 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,231 Remove it from the theater? Fat chance! 497 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,066 We demand you stop showing it! 498 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,317 - Yeah! - Yeah! 499 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,902 No, no, no! Don't become an angry mob! 500 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,737 The last time we did that, we killed Jesus! 501 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,989 Juden! 502 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,115 What's going on here? 503 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,533 They're trying to have "The Passion" 504 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,826 pulled from the theater. 505 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,412 This film is anti-Semitic, and it must be stopped! 506 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,415 Nonsense! Mel Gibson is a smart, spiritual man. 507 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,292 There is nothing anti-Semitic about it. 508 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,170 It has reaffirmed all of our faith in Christ. 509 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,130 It's made one of our little Jewish boys 510 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716 want to apologize for the death of Jesus. 511 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,219 Well...maybe you should apologize. 512 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013 - That's right! - Yeah! 513 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,432 - How dare you?! - [ Vehicle approaching ] 514 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,433 Look out! 515 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,935 [ Tires screech, brakes hiss ] 516 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,145 [ Engine revs ] 517 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,771 Gaaaaaaagh! 518 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,940 [ Crowd screaming ] 519 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153 Raagh-raagh-raagh! 520 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,488 Give me my $18! 521 00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,991 Mel Gibson! 522 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702 Oh, mein savior! Mein fuehrer! 523 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,162 You're actually here! 524 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,080 Mr. Gibson, I have assembled the masses! 525 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624 We are ready to do Thy bidding! 526 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,375 Have I been a good boy, Mr. Gibson? 527 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,210 Agh! 528 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,504 So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh? 529 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,007 I guess now you're gonna start torturing me! 530 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301 Agh! Oh, my nipples are so tender! 531 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,886 Don't squeeze them anymore! 532 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,805 That's...Mel Gibson? 533 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,892 H-He's not quite as eloquent as I had pictured. 534 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,102 Well... 535 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,855 I'll bet you want to torture me now, don't you? 536 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,941 Dude, what's wrong with him? 537 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,735 He's cuckoo, dude. He's absolutely out of his mind. 538 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,278 You! 539 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,530 You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you? 540 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616 Okay. Fine. See what you can fit in there. 541 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,825 I can take it! 542 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,953 Dude, I've been freaked out this whole time 543 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,537 because of that guy's movie? 544 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,705 Fine! 545 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,958 If nobody here is man enough to torture me, 546 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,001 then just give me my $18. 547 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,504 It's our $18. Your movie sucked! 548 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,214 You can't say my movie sucked 549 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,633 or else you're saying Christianity sucks! 550 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,468 No, dude. If you want to be Christian, that's cool. 551 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,095 But you should follow what Jesus taught 552 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,388 instead of how he got killed. 553 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,514 Focusing on how he got killed 554 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,932 is what people did in the Dark Ages, 555 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767 and it ends up with really bad results. 556 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,560 [ Down-tempo music plays ] 557 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105 You know, he's right, Elise. 558 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,564 We shouldn't focus our faith 559 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,608 on the torture and execution of Christ. 560 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,903 Yeah. Lots of people got crucified in those times. 561 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,698 We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith. 562 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,116 Aw -- Aw, no! Come on, people! 563 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,577 We're so close to completing my final solution! 564 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,746 Oh, dude, I feel so much better about being Jewish 565 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,291 now that I see that Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche. 566 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,376 [ Farts ] 567 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,503 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!