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00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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[ Insects chirping,
vehicle approaching ]
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[ Wind whistling,
metal rattling ]
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[ Thunder crashes ]
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[ Buzzing ]
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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G'rlkr.
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B'rk!
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- [ Horn blares ]
- Aah!
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[ Horns honking ]
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[ Horn honks ]
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- [ Tires screech ]
- G'rk!
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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Yes?
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Hello, ma'am.
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We're going around town and
offering snow-shoveling service.
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Would you like your driveway
and sidewalk shoveled
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for $8,000?
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Oh. Well, I certainly could use
some little snow shovelers.
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But $8,000 seems a little steep.
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How about $10?
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Ooh. Ouch.
Ma'am, please.
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Let go of that tight grip
you have on my balls.
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$10.
You're breaking my balls, ma'am.
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- How about $15?
- It's a deal.
34
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All right, guys.
Let's get to work!
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Yeah. Yeah.
It was totally awesome.
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Craig crapped his pants
when he saw it.
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Yeah.
Sweet.
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So, what's going on over there?
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Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
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No way!
He did not!
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Aw, dude, that is so weak.
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What?
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You've been on your
fucking phone since we started.
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Dude, I'm taking a break.
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A break from what?!
You haven't done anything!
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Kyle, how many times
do we have to go through this?
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I'm the negotiator.
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I negotiate our price
with the customers.
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All you ever do
is talk about your balls!
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It works, doesn't it?
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Did I not just get us
an extra five bucks?
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If you want your share
of the money,
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then you're gonna shovel snow
like the rest of us!
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Hey, don't boss me around,
you fucking Jew!
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I will kick your ass!
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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Ma'am, do you have a rag
and some bandages?
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Oh, goodness.
What happened?
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[ Nasally ]
Shoveling accident.
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Oh, no.
Come on inside.
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[ Door closes ]
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Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
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You're so lucky
I have a sore shoulder, Kyle,
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or else I would have
let you have it.
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Cartman, just keep
your mouth shut.
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MAN:
This is breaking news.
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Here's anchorman Aaron Brown.
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Incredible,
absolutely amazing news today.
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A man from the future
has come back in time
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and is in a government hospital
after being hit by a car.
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Whoa.
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Kristina Nalen has more.
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The news is incredible, Aaron.
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Experts and scientists have been
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with the man from the future
for several hours now
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and have been able to learn
that he is from the year 3045.
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His condition is stable,
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and speculation continues
as to why he has come.
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Has he come to deliver
a cure for cancer
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or to fix something
wrong with the past?
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Have to interrupt you there,
Kristina.
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Apparently Brad Morgan
is inside the base
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with breaking news -- Brad?
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Aaron, the scientists have been
able to communicate further
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and have uncovered
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that the man from 1,000 years
in the future
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has come to our time
looking for work.
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He has said that the future
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is so overwhelmingly
overpopulated
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that there are simply no jobs
in his time,
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and so he built a time portal
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and has come back
to 21st-century America
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to find a job here.
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That is absolutely astounding.
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He came back here for work?
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Uh, that's right, Aaron.
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His plan is to get a job
here in our time
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so that he can put
the money he earns
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into a savings account,
which will earn interest,
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and by the year 3045
be worth billions of dollars --
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which, of course, in the future
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will be worth
only hundreds of dollars,
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but enough, he says,
to feed his family.
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And now I understand
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we're going to Harrison Moore
for an explanation
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on how the time portal works --
Harrison?
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Aaron, I am standing
at the time portal
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which scientists say
follows "Terminator" rules --
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That is, it's one-way only,
and you can't go back.
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This is in contrast to, say,
"Back to the Future" rules,
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where back and forth
is possible,
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and of course,
"Timerider" rules,
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which are just plain silly.
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Anyway, it appears that
the man from the future
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is here to stay.
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Mom! Dad!
Did you see?
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They found a man
from the future!
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We know, Stanley.
We've been watching.
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If you're just joining us,
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a man from over 2,000 years
into the future
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has come through a one-way
time portal looking for work.
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Uh, the president is expected
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to give an announcement
at any time.
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Breaking news here
at the time portal, Aaron.
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It appears another person from
the future has just arrived!
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It looks as if
the job at Wendy's
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did work for
the original immigrant.
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This second arrivee
claims that man's family
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is now much better off
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and wishes the same
for his family.
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There you go.
All set, sweetie?
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Mom, can we go try to see
the people from the future?
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I have a bunch of questions
I want to ask them.
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I'm sure a lot of people do,
hon.
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It's pretty exciting, isn't it?
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Now, you just get some sleep.
You've had a busy day.
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Good night, sweetie.
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Night, Mom.
139
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Wow.
Two people from the future.
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How cool.
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[ Rumbling ]
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G'lr.
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G'gr g'rhr.
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G'lr. Gr.
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[ Horns honking ]
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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- Yes?
- Hello, Mrs. Landis.
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00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,255
Would you like snow-shoveling
service again today?
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00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,673
Ooh.
Oh, dear.
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00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:22,883
I'm sorry, boys,
151
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,927
but I've already hired
someone else to do it.
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What?! Who?!
153
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One of those immigrants
from the future.
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He said he would do it
for 25 cents.
155
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25 cents?
But that's not even worth it!
156
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,479
All right, guys. Come on.
We'll just go to the next house.
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Dude.
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Son of a bitch.
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Still more immigrants
from the future
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arrived at the time border
today,
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some even bringing
their entire families.
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The purplish goo that
they have on their bodies
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when they arrive
is an ectoplasmic side effect
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of the time-travel process.
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This is all giving scientists
a great opportunity
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to learn even more about
American life in the future.
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00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,797
Chris Hall joins us now.
Chris?
168
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
Yes, there are incredible
things we're learning
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00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,801
about Americans in the future,
Aaron.
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It appears that in the future
Americans have evolved
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into a hairless,
uniform mix of all races.
172
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They are all one color,
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which is a yellowy,
light-brownish, whitish color.
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It seems race is no longer
an issue in the future
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because all ethnicities
have mixed into one.
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Perhaps most interesting
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is how this has affected
their language.
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The people in the future
speak a complete mix
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of English, Chinese, Turkish,
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00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,868
and, indeed,
all world languages,
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which sounds something
like this...
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[ Gutturally ]
Foik flank'en fark.
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Back to you, Aaron.
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Apparently,
the people from the future
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are having a pretty easy time
finding work.
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00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,503
Since they offer to work
for such low wages,
187
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,964
they're being hired
all over America.
188
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,591
This is bullcrap!
189
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- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
190
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,635
I'm mad as hell!
191
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,471
All right, folks,
my name is Daryl Weathers,
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00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,723
and I'm with
the construction workers union.
193
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,185
I work with a lot of fine men
who have families to feed.
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00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,311
I don't know about y'all,
195
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,063
but we worked long and hard
to get our pay up to a level
196
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,857
where we could make
a decent living.
197
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,027
And now these people
from the future are showing up
198
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,988
and offering to do the same work
for next to nothin'!
199
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,948
They took our jobs!
200
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,492
ALL:
Yeah!
201
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:12,951
- They sure did!
- They did!
202
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,495
We're in the moving business.
203
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,997
Fourteen years
we been working our butts off.
204
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,167
Now these future folk come in,
and we can't get work nowhere!
205
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,668
Well, they took our jobs!
206
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,170
They took yer job!
207
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,796
- They took your jobs, too!
- Took yer job!
208
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,965
What about us
in the fast-food business?
209
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,634
The restaurants are firing us
210
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178
'cause the future people
work for a lot less.
211
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,388
They took our jobs!
212
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,182
- They took their jobs!
- They took their jobs!
213
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,184
- They took yer job!
- Took yer jobs!
214
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,810
It's affecting kids, too.
215
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,812
Me and my friends started
our own snow-shoveling business.
216
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,981
We were trying to be responsible
and make money, you know?
217
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,733
But then the people
from the future came along,
218
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818
and now we're out of work, too!
219
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,155
Oh.
They took our jobs!
220
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,908
- They took yer job!
- They took yer job!
221
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,160
- Yeah!
- Dook yer durrr!
222
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,955
[ Insects chirping ]
223
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,670
[ Wind whistling,
metal rattling ]
224
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,015
Gl'r gl'r g'r g'rg.
225
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,527
Stanley, it's almost 8:00.
Where have you been?
226
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404
I was at a rally to protest
all the immigrants
227
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:31,822
from the future coming in
and trying --
228
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823
Glrk'a?
229
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,950
Oh, yes, the laundry machine
is down in the basement.
230
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,411
And our son is home. Could you
please set the table for dinner?
231
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,371
G'oh.
G'up r'up!
232
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,622
Who is that?
233
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,499
That's our new housekeeper,
Mrs. Gw'arh.
234
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,127
She's gonna help around the
house on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
235
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212
And she'll do it
for 10 cents an hour.
236
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,422
Aw, but that's the problem.
237
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,465
Those goobacks
are takin' our jobs!
238
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,509
- What?!
- Oh, my God!
239
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,846
Stan Marsh, how dare you use
that time-bashing slur?!
240
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,681
Who taught you to talk
like that?
241
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,808
Well, dude, they a re taking
people's jobs away.
242
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,810
They're only taking
the small, menial jobs
243
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,562
that nobody else
really wants to do.
244
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,063
I wanted my job!
245
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,482
Hey, Stanley, you need
to understand something.
246
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,776
Those people from the future
have had a hard life.
247
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,863
Where they come from is dirty
and overpopulated and poor.
248
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,657
You can't even imagine the kind
of depression they come from.
249
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,576
So for us,
who have everything so good,
250
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,910
to judge them is wrong.
251
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:19,953
Do you understand?
252
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,706
Next time you think about
calling them goobacks,
253
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,249
you might want
to just stop for a second
254
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,043
and think about how crappy
the future really is.
255
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,127
That's right.
256
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,546
We're not raising our son
to be an ignorant timecist.
257
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
T-Timecist?
258
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,215
You know -- a racist,
but against people from --
259
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,884
People from the future.
Right. Got it.
260
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:34,926
All right.
Good.
261
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:35,927
Now let's all go eat
262
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,722
some of Mrs. Gw'arh's
great future cooking.
263
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,392
MAN:
And now here is Bill O'Reilly.
264
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,062
Welcome, welcome to
the No Spin Zone, all right?
265
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,521
And what we're
talking about today
266
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,232
are the immigrants
from the future, all right?
267
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,526
Most people are more than happy
to give a helping hand
268
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,654
to these people who obviously
need it, all right?
269
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,280
But others are starting to say
270
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,325
that the time portal
should be closed off, all right?
271
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,993
Now, I've got two guests
with me tonight
272
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578
who have opposing views
on the matter.
273
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,914
On my right
is pissed-off white-trash
274
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,165
redneck conservative.
275
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,917
Thanks for having me, Bill.
276
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:10,337
And on my left
is aging hippie liberal douche.
277
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,421
Hello.
278
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,506
Now, pissed-off redneck,
279
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,549
you say we shouldn't
allow anyone else
280
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,926
through the time portal,
all right?
281
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761
You're goddamn right.
282
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,764
These people from the future
are taking all the work away
283
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,809
from us decent
present-day Americans.
284
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,019
They took our jobs!
285
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,979
They took our jobs!
286
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,316
Those jobs belong to people
from the present!
287
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,234
All right.
288
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,361
What say you,
aging hippie liberal douche?
289
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,822
It's typical for
conservative rednecks like these
290
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,782
to view the immigrants
as the problem.
291
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,284
But really the problem
is America.
292
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,370
It is our greedy
multinational corporations
293
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,163
that keep everyone else
in poverty.
294
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,332
Your ancestors came to America
as immigrants.
295
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,710
What right do you have
to turn these people away?
296
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,212
All right.
Redneck, your rebuttal?
297
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,049
They took our jobs!
298
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,843
They took our jobs!
299
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,011
Durk er durrr!
300
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,514
[ Bell rings ]
301
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,640
MR. GARRISON:
All right, children.
302
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,309
The school board has mandated
that I must now teach class
303
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,396
in both present-day English
and Futurespeak.
304
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,772
What?
305
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,734
So with that in mind, let's
continue our lessons on verbs.
306
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,319
Remember that there are
transitive verbs such as,
307
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,322
"The boy threw the red ball,"
308
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:23,076
which in Futurespeak,
of course, is g'rk gr'kle r'glk.
309
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,495
Everyone say it with me.
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
310
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,956
ALL:
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
311
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,208
G'rk r'g-g-g--lk.
312
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,961
And there are intransitive
verbs, such as,
313
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:37,674
"The 11:15 bus from Denver
arrived 12 hours late."
314
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,011
Or in Futurespeak, g'lrk.
315
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,679
ALL:
G'lrk.
316
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,556
Dude, hold on.
This is bullcrap!
317
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,974
If they want to live
in our time,
318
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,434
then they should learn
our language!
319
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,685
- Yeah!
- Right!
320
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,063
Hey, now, these immigrants have
a right to retain their culture.
321
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,107
Who are we to say
our language is best?
322
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,650
They deserve
to have an education
323
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,235
just as much as you do.
324
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,488
Thank you,
aging hippie liberal douche.
325
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,989
You betcha.
326
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,908
Timmy!
327
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,701
Okay, now.
Let's get back to it, kids.
328
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,536
Which kind of verb is this?
329
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,414
"The sad girl puts balls
in her mouth."
330
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,082
Or, in Futurespeak, of course --
331
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,877
G'rk g'rak balls g'rk g'rk.
332
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,462
This is bullcrap!
333
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,088
- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
334
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,465
Listen up, everybody.
335
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:22,511
We've just received a reply
from our congressman.
336
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,763
"Dear intolerant rednecks,
337
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,849
we sympathize with you all
losing your jobs.
338
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,269
However, we feel your solution
of shooting everyone
339
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,439
who crosses the time border
is inhumane."
340
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,857
- What?
- That's ridiculous!
341
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,109
- They can't do that!
- That was a good idea!
342
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,029
So it appears the government
ain't gonna help us,
343
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,074
which means we got to take
matters into our own hands.
344
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,785
The only way to stop people
from the future
345
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,788
is to stop the future
from happening.
346
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,872
Hey, that's right!
347
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,123
If there is no future,
348
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,459
then there'll be no people
fro m the future
349
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127
to come back and take our jobs!
350
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,712
Dur er durrr!
351
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:58,964
All right.
352
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:04,177
So any ideas how we can stop
the future from happening?
353
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,306
How about we cause
more global warming
354
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,768
so that in the future
the polar ice caps melt,
355
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,938
a-and it ushers in
a new ice age?
356
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,486
How the hell is global warming
gonna cause an ice age?
357
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,489
Well, you know, the global
warming could bring on,
358
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,741
like, a climate shift
or something.
359
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,327
Chet, you are a fuckin' retard.
You know that?
360
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913
Even if global warming
were real --
361
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,457
which all proven scientific data
shows it isn't --
362
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,003
it would take millions of years
for a climate shift to happen.
363
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:41,006
You think an ice age can just
happen all of a sudden like?
364
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,174
Well, I was just trying
to be helpful.
365
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,218
Well, help yourself
to a fuckin' science book,
366
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,762
'cause you're talking
like a fuckin' retard.
367
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,556
Now, come on, people!
We've got to think!
368
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,349
Damn it, they took our job!
369
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642
They took our job!
370
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,852
They took our job!
371
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,312
- Taka dur!
- Took our job!
372
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,526
G'rr?
G'lk g'lr?
373
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,946
G'rk!
G'lrm g'lak g'lak.
374
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,033
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
375
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,368
[ Whirring ]
376
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,918
[ Music continues ]
377
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,004
[ Coughing ]
378
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,217
Oh, dude!
379
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,012
G'lar d'kuh?
380
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,306
Can you speak in present-day
English, please?
381
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,724
Oh.
382
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,560
[ Future accent ]
Can I help you?
383
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,938
Uh, yeah. I want
a double cheeseburger and fries.
384
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,900
Chicken sandwich?
385
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,569
No.
A double cheeseburger and fries.
386
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,655
- Anything to drink?
- What?
387
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:47,739
Anything to drink?
388
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,491
We can't understand you,
asshole!
389
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,159
G'lrk.
G'lk g'rr g'lrk.
390
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,911
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
391
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,037
G'wark.
392
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,747
[ Future accent ]
Can I help you?
393
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,166
I'm trying to order
a double cheeseburger.
394
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,794
Chicken sandwich?
395
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,712
No, not a chicken sandwich!
396
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,590
I want a goddamn cheeseburger
and some goddamn fries,
397
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,634
you fucking goobacks!
398
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,970
Stan Marsh!
399
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,098
Aw -- Awwww!
400
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:14,975
Come on, people.
Think!
401
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,643
How are we gonna stop
these immigrants
402
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,144
from takin' our jobs?
403
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,771
Hey, I got an idea.
404
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,982
Maybe we should all
take off all our clothes,
405
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191
scramble into a big pile,
406
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,194
and start getting gay
with each other.
407
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823
Did you say get gay?
408
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,742
Hey, yeah.
That's not a bad idea!
409
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,536
What, gettin' gay?
410
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997
Think about it. These people
are from the future, right?
411
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,332
Well, if we can get everyone
to turn queer,
412
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,710
then there won't be no children
to have no children,
413
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:45,755
and the people from the future
won't exist to take our jobs!
414
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,841
I ain't turning queer.
415
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,134
You have to, Jimbo,
416
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,760
or else we won't be able
to stop them.
417
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,470
Damn it!
They took er blerrr!
418
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,805
Yeah!
They took our jobs!
419
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,682
Took er durrr!
420
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,517
Let's go over
to that part of town
421
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,519
that all the future people
moved into
422
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,439
and start humpin' each other
until they disappear.
423
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,190
Come on!
424
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,778
Come on!
You want your jobs back or not?!
425
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,615
[ Whirring ]
426
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,618
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
427
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,540
All right, you future bastards!
428
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,333
Think you can take our jobs?
429
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,835
Well, we'll show you.
430
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,545
Come here, Earl!
431
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,675
How do you like that, gooback?
432
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,262
Come on, you guys!
433
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,185
[ Dramatic music plays ]
434
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,313
Everyone who believes
in America, join in with us!
435
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149
We're gonna make these
future bastards nonexistent!
436
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,529
Aw, come on, Dad.
437
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,156
How come I have to go to work
with you?
438
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,991
Because you're being grounded,
Stanley.
439
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,367
Now, I don't want to hear
another word
440
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,994
out of your intolerant mouth.
441
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,830
You just sit right there,
Stanley,
442
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,999
and you think about
what you've done.
443
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,627
You'll find all the copiers
and printers
444
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,962
- in the next room over and --
- Hey, Mr. Nelson.
445
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,756
Oh. R-Randy.
446
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,508
I'm surprised to see you here.
447
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,967
Why?
This is my office.
448
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,845
Oh, boy.
Didn't you get my phone message?
449
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,055
Ooh, this is awkward.
450
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,558
Well, the thing is, Randy,
you've been replaced.
451
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,476
What?
452
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,770
W-We found an immigrant from
the future who knows geology,
453
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,605
and he offered to work
for next to nothing.
454
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,607
This is Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
455
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,900
G'rlo.
456
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,069
You can't be serious.
457
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,070
I'm sorry, Randy.
458
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,947
It's just with
all the budget cuts and all --
459
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,782
We'll give you some time
to clean out your desk.
460
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,118
Follow me, Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
461
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,744
I'll show you
to the coffee room.
462
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,747
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
463
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,749
Oh, my God.
464
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,043
They took my job!
465
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,170
They took yer job!
466
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,713
MAN:
This is CNN.
467
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,382
Breaking news
at the time border.
468
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,425
We go now live
to Harrison Moore.
469
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,719
Aaron, I'm standing
at the time border,
470
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,639
where some kind of mass protest
has broken out.
471
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,851
Hundreds of men who have lost
their jobs to time immigrants
472
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436
are here having sex
with one another.
473
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,356
These men have apparently
sucked and screwed their way
474
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,524
across the state
475
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,192
and are now here
at the time border
476
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,819
trying to get
national attention.
477
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072
These unemployed men have been
having sex for several days.
478
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,701
Joining me now is their
spokesperson, Randy Marsh.
479
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954
Mr. Marsh, what exactly are
you trying to accomplish?
480
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,039
We're doing the only thing
we can do.
481
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,833
If our government
is just gonna let
482
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,877
anybody into our time
who wants to come,
483
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,171
then we have to take matters
into our own hands.
484
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,714
We're trying to turn
everyone gay
485
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,716
so there a re no future humans.
486
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,634
Present-day America, number one!
487
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,844
Yeah, America!
488
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,179
Took our jobs!
489
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,973
Do you really think you can get
enough people to turn gay
490
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,100
to destroy the future
of humanity?
491
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,935
All we can do is try, Harrison.
492
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,480
Trying to stop immigration
is intolerant and ignorant!
493
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,816
Those immigrants have a right
to pursue happiness!
494
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,943
Young man, what do you think
about all this?
495
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,613
I-I think it's wrong
to call them goobacks,
496
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239
because they're no different
from us.
497
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,533
They're just humans trying
to make their lives better.
498
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,869
Look, it sucks that the
immigrants' time is so crappy.
499
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:03,995
But the cold, hard truth
500
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,830
is if we let them all come back
to our time,
501
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,874
it's just gonna make
our time crappy, too.
502
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,793
Maybe the answer isn't trying to
stop the future from happening,
503
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,879
but making the future better.
504
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,048
Huh?
505
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,507
Maybe if we all commit right now
506
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,051
to working towards
a better future,
507
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,762
then the future won't be so bad
and these immigrants won't need
508
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,388
to come back here
looking for work.
509
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,934
Hey, he's right.
510
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,520
If we build for a better future,
the immigrants will stay there!
511
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,897
Yeah.
512
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,733
We've got to start working
towards a brighter tomorrow.
513
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,693
Well, what are we waiting for?
514
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,238
[ Up-tempo folk music plays ]
515
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,783
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
516
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,494
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
517
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,579
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
518
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:51,084
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
519
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,294
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
520
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,797
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
521
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,966
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
522
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,177
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
523
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,595
Look!
It's working!
524
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,306
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
525
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,267
The immigrants are fading away!
526
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,601
We're doing it!
527
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,145
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
528
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,107
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
529
00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,067
♪ Take the first step and you
will see the future -- ♪
530
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,861
Dude, wait. Wait.
H-Hold on. Wait a second.
531
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,988
This is gay.
532
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,114
This is really gay.
533
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,907
Yeah, this is even gayer
than all the men
534
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,076
getting in a big pile
and having sex with each other.
535
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,577
Okay. Sorry.
My bad.
536
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,870
Everyone back in the pile.
537
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,372
Back in the pile, everyone!
538
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,873
- We're going back to the pile!
- Jump in!
539
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,042
- Come on, everybody!
- We're going back to the pile!
540
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,877
- Yeah! Come on!
- Taka dur!
541
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,171
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
542
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,008
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
543
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,051
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
544
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,680
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
545
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,850
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
546
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,144
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
547
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,438
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
548
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:57,442
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
549
00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,154
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪