1 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:09,969 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 2 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,096 ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ 3 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 4 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,307 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 5 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,559 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 6 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,728 ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 7 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 8 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ 9 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,190 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪ 10 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 11 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:28,696 ♪ [muffled] ♪ 12 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,780 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 13 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,866 ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ 14 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,790 Way up in the mountains in a small little town... 15 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,668 The main street was being decorated all up and down. 16 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,378 People stood in long lines 17 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,297 Sometimes waiting hours or more... 18 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,467 Because Christmas needs to be bought in a store. 19 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:52,511 But out in the forest not too far away... 20 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,929 the little woodland critters 21 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,349 were also preparing for their Christmas day. 22 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,143 ♪ Its almost time when the time is here ♪ 23 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,644 ♪ The time that's only once a year ♪ 24 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,563 ♪ We can hardly wait 'cause it's so near ♪ 25 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523 ♪ A woodland critter Christmas ♪ 26 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,443 The little critters worked hard as they happily sang 27 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,737 and each one of them had a quite interesting name. 28 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,655 There was Squirrelie the squirrel 29 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,032 Rabbitie the rabbit 30 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,159 Beaverie the beaver and Bearie the bear. 31 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,662 Porcupinie the porcupine, Skunkie the skunk 32 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,124 Foxie the fox and Deerie, the deer. 33 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,794 Woodpeckerie the woodpecker, Mousie the mouse 34 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,921 and Chickadee-ee, the chickadee 35 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,631 all made the forest their house. 36 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,676 And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that-- 37 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,221 was a surprised little boy... 38 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,349 in a red poof ball hat. 39 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,101 What the hell...? 40 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,729 ♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪ 41 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:48,067 ♪ Every critter holds it dear ♪ 42 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,071 ♪ Every animal big or small ♪ 43 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:56,826 ♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪ 44 00:01:59,036 --> 00:01:59,954 Well, hello there! 45 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,288 Welcome to our forest. 46 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165 How do you like our Christmas tree? 47 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,583 It's nice... 48 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,919 Why, it's the most perfect tree in the forest! 49 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,379 Yea! - Yea! 50 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,631 Oh, no, I see a problem! 51 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,007 What is it, Mousie? 52 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,510 Our Christmas tree doesn't have a star! 53 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,554 Awww... Awww... 54 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,682 We can't have a tree with no star on it. 55 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,641 What are we gonna do? 56 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,393 Now don't be down, ya'll. 57 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,603 Maybe our new friend can help us find a star. 58 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480 Would you? Really? 59 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,191 Okay, okay... 60 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,234 Yea! Yea! 61 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,655 And so, using some paper and working with glee 62 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,657 the boy in the red poof ball hat 63 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,368 made a star for the tree. 64 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,704 Ahhh... Ahhh... 65 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,582 It's the nicest star I ever saw! 66 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,710 The little critters cheered and Beavie said with a smile... 67 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,005 How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while? 68 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,175 The boy in the red poof ball hat smiled and said... 69 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,595 Uh... no thanks, I'm gonna go home. 70 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,014 G'bye Stannie! 71 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,765 G'bye! - See ya! 72 00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,517 Wuf... 73 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,446 Hi, Stannie! Hi, Stannie! 74 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072 Aw... Wha? 75 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,741 His friends were all there! 76 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,117 What a wonderful surprise! 77 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,953 The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes! 78 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,330 What time is it? 79 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,165 You aren't gonna believe what happened, Stannie. 80 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,958 It's the most magical Christmas gift ever! 81 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,127 Porcupinie is pregnant! 82 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962 You guys, I have to go to school tomorrow. 83 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797 I deduce the manboy doesn't understand 84 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,507 the seriousness of the fertilization! 85 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,301 Porcupinie is a virgin, Stannie. 86 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345 Her conception was immaculate! 87 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,889 She's going to give birth to our lord and savior! 88 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,432 What? 89 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,059 It has been foretold unto me 90 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,602 that I would give birth on Christmas Day! 91 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,603 So soon! 92 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562 How delightful! 93 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,939 Our souls are saved! 94 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,232 Finally, the critters are gonna have a savior 95 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,234 of their very own of their very own! 96 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,401 Yea! - Yea! 97 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,153 There's just one problem... 98 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,572 We don't have a manger for our savior to be born in. 99 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,574 Awww! - Awww! 100 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,993 But we got to have a manger! 101 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:03,994 Can you do it, Stan? 102 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287 Can you build us a manger, huh? 103 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,957 Yea! - Yea! 104 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,460 "Of course I'll build you a manger!" 105 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586 The little boy cried. 106 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837 And he winked at his critter friends 107 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,632 and leapt to their side! 108 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,302 And out in the woods, the boy steamed right ahead 109 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,682 making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head. 110 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,434 Gee wiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw! 111 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,603 I deduce that it shall serve as a perfectly suitable 112 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,605 resting place for the son of our lord! 113 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,149 Does this mean we can go to sleep now? 114 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,986 My son will have the nicest bed in all the forest! 115 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,487 Fit for a king! 116 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,115 This is gonna be the best critter Christmas ever! 117 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,284 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪ 118 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,827 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪ 119 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,453 Alright, I'm going now. 120 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:47,538 [growl] 121 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,873 Aaah! - Aaah! 122 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,916 The mountain lion! 123 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:51,834 Hide! 124 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548 Go away, shoo! 125 00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:00,009 [growl] 126 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,347 Is it gone? 127 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,932 I deduce it is! 128 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,642 I'm not c-c-coming out! 129 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,227 Well, this is the end. 130 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354 The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupinie is pregnant 131 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,148 and it's going to kill it again! 132 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,441 Again? 133 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,192 Every Christmas, the mountain lion comes down 134 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,360 and eats the virgin critter 135 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,945 impregnated with the son of our lord. 136 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905 Oh dear, I'm so very afraid! 137 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,198 Let's face it, 138 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,368 the mountain lion will never let our savior be born! 139 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786 Awww... - Awww... 140 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,331 Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas 141 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,582 we've got Stannie! 142 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584 Of course, Stannie can do anything! 143 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,501 If he can build a manger, 144 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128 he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion! 145 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,671 Christmas is saved! 146 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,423 Yea! - Yea! 147 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,094 High up over the forest, on a dark, craggily peak 148 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,639 the horrid mountain lion lived and preyed on the weak. 149 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,974 For the critters to be saved 150 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268 someone had to stop that nasty old cat-- 151 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395 God dammit, this is fucking ridiculous. 152 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,690 --said the little boy in the red poof ball hat. 153 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,360 Killing a mountain lion was no easy task. 154 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,196 But he thought of a plan... and he thought of it fast! 155 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,408 Gargrgrgg... grgrgrrrgrr! 156 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,618 Come on out! 157 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,870 [growl] 158 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,539 Come on, critter killer! 159 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,041 Your days of slaughtering innocent little animals 160 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:14,750 are over! 161 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,377 Rarghghgh! 162 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,045 [growl] 163 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,215 Rarrrrrr! 164 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,133 [growl] 165 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,806 Aah! 166 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022 In a flash it was over, a victorious blow! 167 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,109 The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below. 168 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,197 Okay, there. 169 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,577 Mommy... Mommy! 170 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,833 W-w-wake up, Mommy, wake up... 171 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751 Don't leave us, Mommy. 172 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,464 Man-boy... Why? 173 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,385 Why did you kill our mommy, why? 174 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,680 I... the critters... 175 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,766 They're... birth of the savior... 176 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,188 The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried, 177 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,900 all alone in the world because their mother had died. 178 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,528 Aw... awww! 179 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,451 Ooh... 180 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536 You alright, Lady Porcupinie? 181 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621 Oh yes... Just felt a little kick is all. 182 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373 Well, it's been much too long now. 183 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251 I'm afraid our helpful friend Stannie must be very dead. 184 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,712 Yes, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole. 185 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,921 I guess that means... 186 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,549 Our savior is gonna be made into savior stew. 187 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384 Awww... - Awww... 188 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,094 Wait a minute, look! 189 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,973 Stannie! - Stannie! 190 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,476 Stannie, you're alive! 191 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060 But does that mean... 192 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,770 You killed the mountain lion? 193 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,564 It's dead. 194 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,232 For real and for true? 195 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure? 196 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,569 I'm sure, it won't be hurting you anymore. 197 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,862 He did it! 198 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,114 Now our critter Christmas can finally happen! 199 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532 Hail Satan! 200 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075 Hail Satan! - Hail Satan! 201 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660 Wait... what? 202 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621 You've done us a huge favor, Stannie! 203 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,080 Without the mountain lion around, 204 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,583 Lady Porcupinie can give birth to the Antichrist! 205 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,293 Yea! - Yea! 206 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,711 Wait, wait... the Antichrist? 207 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,213 You said she was giving birth to your savior! 208 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,173 Yes, to the son of our lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness. 209 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966 But I thought you meant the son of God! 210 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,176 Well, think about it. 211 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,761 You really think God would have sex with a porcupine? 212 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,470 No way! 213 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096 Only Satan, Prince of Darkness 214 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,848 and King of All Evil would do that--yea! 215 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,433 This is cause for celebration. 216 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185 Let's sacrifice Rabbitie and eat his flesh! 217 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,395 Yea, sacrifice me to the devil! 218 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,272 Yea! - Yea! 219 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,571 Aaghghgh! 220 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,490 Ahghghgh! 221 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 Drink his blood, drink his blood! 222 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,620 Rarhrhghggh! 223 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,789 Blood orgy! 224 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,415 Yea, blood orgy! 225 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,209 Blood orgy, yea! 226 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,050 ♪ What a special time, a special day ♪ 227 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,510 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪ 228 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,512 Hail Satan! 229 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,015 In the gentle forest clearing on Christmas Eve morn, 230 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,642 the little forest critters 231 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144 prepared for the Antichrist to be born. 232 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313 The noble mountain lion 233 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,482 had stopped evil in all the years past, 234 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,570 but now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed. 235 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,864 And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away. 236 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826 For them, there would certainly be no Christmas Day. 237 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,913 And soon the forest would suffer from the offspring Satan begat. 238 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,457 All this because of the little boy... 239 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,876 In the red poof ball hat. 240 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,295 Ugh... 241 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,463 Now that he'd killed the noble lion queen, 242 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,716 there was nobody to stop the apocalypse, it seemed. 243 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,551 Aghghggh! 244 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,720 "I know!" he said with a new happy grin. 245 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,471 "I'll go back to the forest 246 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,849 to speak with those critters again!" 247 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,559 No, no, no, no... 248 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,186 He ran out the living room, turned out the light 249 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:07,107 and went back to the forest to set everything right! 250 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,984 ♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪ 251 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235 ♪ Movin' on up ♪ 252 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903 ♪ to the east side... ♪ 253 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,907 And went back to the forest to set everything right! 254 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,409 ♪...In the sky ♪ 255 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,786 ♪ Mov-movin' on up... ♪ 256 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955 He tried to forget all about it by watching TV 257 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,790 But his conscience caught up with him 258 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,626 and to the forest he did flee! 259 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419 ♪ Piece of the pie... ♪ 260 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,672 He thought he could hide from his problems, not true! 261 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,758 He knew in his heart the thing he had to do! 262 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593 Leave me alone! 263 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,012 He knew that only by going to the forest could he-- 264 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,388 Oh, alright, alright, alright! 265 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,973 God! 266 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519 Hey, look everyone! 267 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,188 It's our ol' pal, Stannie! 268 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,066 Oh boy, Stannie, you came just in time! 269 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,568 Yeah, we've got a big problem! 270 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070 The great Satan has commanded 271 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,196 that when the Antichrist is born, 272 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,657 we must find a human host body to transfer it into. 273 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,283 That way it can take over the whole world! 274 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409 The whole world! 275 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,535 The human must be non-baptized 276 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,704 and heathenistic against Christ! 277 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998 We figured you'd be perfect! 278 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:05,999 Yea! - Yea! 279 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,125 I'm not a heathen! 280 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,503 I was baptized and my family's Christian! 281 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,337 Awww...! - Awww...! 282 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,008 But we got to have a human host body for the Antichrist. 283 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,720 Oh, dear, maybe we won't have a critter Christmas after all. 284 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,097 Now don't be down, y'all. 285 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,391 Stannie can help us find a non-baptized heathen human. 286 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517 Will ya really, Stannie? 287 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,351 No! 288 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,227 I'm not doing you any more favors 289 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,521 and I'm not letting you give birth to the Antichrist! 290 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,189 I came here to put a stop to all this! 291 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,482 To stop us? 292 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,777 But gee wiz, Stan, if you tried to stop us 293 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,988 we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on you. 294 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,240 Right, whatever. 295 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741 I'm taking down the manger I built. 296 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,664 Agh... Aghghh! 297 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875 Ahghgh! 298 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,837 Aahghgh! 299 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,964 Aahghgh! 300 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, boy! 301 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,426 Our satanic powers sure did the trick! 302 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,760 Our powers get stronger every day! 303 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,011 Get stronger every day! 304 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,596 Sorry, Stannie, but you see, 305 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,223 nothin' can stop the birth of the Antichrist... 306 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,224 Except for a mountain lion. 307 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,809 And you got rid a her! 308 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:06,977 Yea! - Yea! 309 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,646 The boy shook with anger he broke a sweat and felt ill! 310 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:10,981 When he remembered, 311 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,444 there were three mountain lion cubs still alive on the hill! 312 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,737 Oh, yeah. 313 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,325 Hello? 314 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,078 Anybody in there? 315 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,373 Oh, no, it's the man-boy who killed Mommy! 316 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,833 He's come to kill us now! 317 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544 It's okay, I died inside when Mommy was killed anyways. 318 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,921 Yeah, better this than the slow death 319 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,132 we'd face without a mother around. 320 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,842 Look, I'm sorry I killed your mom. 321 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,635 The squirrel told me she was evil. 322 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,763 You got tricked by a squirrel? 323 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,265 Gee, you're not too smart, are ya mister? 324 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,894 I'm trying to make this alright again, 325 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,645 but the only thing that can stop devil-worshipping critters 326 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772 is a mountain lion. 327 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607 Yeah, and you killed her. 328 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567 Well, you're mountain lions. 329 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,985 Us? Nawww, we're just kids. 330 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,320 We still have our baby teeth. 331 00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,905 And baby claws. 332 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,907 And a dead mom. 333 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,743 There still has to be a way for you 334 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,786 to kill the porcupine's baby. 335 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,331 What? You mean like an abortion? 336 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,000 Yeah, an abortion! That could work! 337 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045 But... We don't know how to give abortions. 338 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,339 Do you know someplace we can learn, mister? 339 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,467 "Where can they learn that," the boy said with a frown. 340 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,678 "I know, the abortion clinic just outside of town!" 341 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138 What? 342 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432 So he picked up the cubs and down the mountain he stormed, 343 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,810 and took them to where abortions are performed! 344 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852 No, he didn't. 345 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,145 Yes, he did. 346 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,730 No, he didn't! 347 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232 Yes, he did. 348 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,942 No, he didn't! 349 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,902 Yes, he... did! 350 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,612 Aw, God damn it! 351 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,614 ... said the boy in the red poofball hat! 352 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158 We've made it already, little cubs, fancy that! 353 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,328 Excuse me, what are you doing here? 354 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372 ... The abortion doctor inquired. 355 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,124 If you wanna be in the O.R., a pass is required! 356 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,001 I don't know, I'm supposed to show these mountain lions 357 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,128 how abortions are performed or something. 358 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463 I know, it's ridiculous. 359 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049 Well, you're in luck, I'm happy to inform. 360 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,342 Its only three days until Christmas 361 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,803 so I have lots of abortions to perform! 362 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180 Gather round my table cute little lions, 363 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,891 I'll teach you to do abortions without even tryin'! 364 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,476 And so the little boy and the cubs 365 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,978 gathered 'round the chair base 366 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481 and all day watched abortion after abortion take place. 367 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,945 ♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪ 368 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,449 ♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪ 369 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,704 ♪ Every animal big or small ♪ 370 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,332 ♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪ 371 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,753 ♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪ 372 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,965 ♪ And it happens once a year ♪ 373 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,927 ♪ It's once a year at Christmas time ♪ 374 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,973 ♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪ 375 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058 ♪ Once a year... ♪ 376 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226 This better have a point, dude. 377 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519 This really better have a point. 378 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪ 379 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,315 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪ 380 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,442 Oh, look... 381 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,652 That little feller is all alone! 382 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,946 Gee, he looks sad. 383 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,700 Hi there! 384 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,619 What the hell...? 385 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,622 How come you're all alone on Christmas eve? 386 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,916 My... family doesn't celebrate Christmas. 387 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001 Awww, but why? 388 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086 Well, because we don't really... 389 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,421 Believe in Jesus. 390 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,465 Yea! - Yea! 391 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302 But does that mean... you aren't baptized? 392 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,887 No, I'm Jewish. 393 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,889 Yea, yea! - Yea, yea! 394 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,600 You got to come with us! 395 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,435 You're perfect, just p-p-perfect! 396 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,269 Huh? 397 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,729 Yea! - Woo-hoo! 398 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,150 ♪ What a special time and special day ♪ 399 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,860 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪ 400 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,820 Hail Satan! 401 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614 'Twas the night before Christmas 402 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,283 and above the woods way up high, 403 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,286 a new bright shiny star hung in the sky... 404 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,247 For the world to be saved there was only one shot, 405 00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,086 a little boy with three cubs with an abortion plot. 406 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,087 Okay, come on, the critters are over this way. 407 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838 You mountain lions ready to stop the Antichrist 408 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,006 from being born? 409 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008 Sure, we know how to give abortions now! 410 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,260 He arrived at the critter forest ready to fight 411 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,348 but then gasped when he saw a most dreadful sight-- 412 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,645 Gosh, we did it! 413 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,230 The critter Antichrist is born. 414 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,065 Bringing a thousand years of darkness to the forest. 415 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485 Grgglglgl! 416 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,656 The Antichrist had been born, sealing the world's fate. 417 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,408 The boy in the red poof ball hat... 418 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,702 was too late. 419 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,577 Too late? 420 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,912 What the hell is that? 421 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,747 Oh, hi-ya, Stannie! 422 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:38,999 Stan! 423 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,208 Stan what the hell is going on?! 424 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,711 It's critter Christmas dude, it sucks ass! 425 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131 Now all we got to do is put the Antichrist into our human host! 426 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,841 Yeah! - Woo-hoo! 427 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,384 That's it? 428 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,137 10,000 years of darkness and I don't have a Merry Christmas? 429 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,430 When up the sky, 430 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,473 the sound of sleigh bells were heard! 431 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,852 And a jolly red sleigh flew down to earth like a bird! 432 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,271 Hey, look! Its Santie Claus! 433 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397 Yea! - Yea! 434 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,399 Let's eat his flesh! 435 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,654 Alright, what the hell is going on? 436 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,657 Why is there a red star glowing in the sky? 437 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,409 We finally did it, Santa! 438 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,994 We brought forth the Antichrist with help 439 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,370 from our good friend Stannie! 440 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,622 Death and pain await all living things! 441 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,459 Little boy, you should be ashamed! 442 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,128 I didn't mean to help them, I tried to stop them! 443 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,629 Well, good going, stupid! 444 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,341 There's only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters! 445 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,012 Aaaghgh! - Aaaghgh! 446 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,724 Dude, what the...? 447 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,605 Come on, dude. 448 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,612 Gee wiz, Santa, you're not gonna kill me are y-- 449 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,784 But Santa, what do we do about the Antichrist? 450 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,496 Don't worry, boys, the Antichrist cannot survive 451 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,123 without a human host body to go into. 452 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,376 No... no, I want to have the Antichrist inside me! 453 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,294 What... Kyle! 454 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,046 With his power, 455 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,173 I can finally make the earth a better place for the Jews! 456 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,092 Don't do it, Kyle! 457 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,554 Aarrhghgh! 458 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,473 Dude! 459 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,141 Yes... yes! 460 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268 Now the Jews shall take control of Christmas 461 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,062 once and for all... Ahahahaahaa! 462 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, stop it, Cartman! 463 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,731 Just stop it! 464 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,690 That's enough! 465 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,984 You aren't reading another sentence of your stupid story! 466 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,071 I don't believe anyone interrupted you 467 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,697 when you read your Christmas story aloud, Kyle. 468 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,449 This whole time your stupid story was just a way 469 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,285 to rip on me for being Jewish at Christmas again! 470 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,829 Mr. Garrison could you do something, please? 471 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789 Sorry Eric, but if Kyle feels discriminated against 472 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,042 you'll have to stop or else I'll get a call from his mother. 473 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,044 Alright, fine, forget it! 474 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,714 Well, but... But what happened? 475 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,175 Yeah, did Kyle bring 1,000 years of darkness or not? 476 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,635 What happens to the lion cubs? 477 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178 Well, I guess we'll never know 478 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,972 because Kyle doesn't wanna hear how it ends. 479 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,223 No, it all worked out, right? 480 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,808 The world was saved and I went home for Christmas dinner. 481 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,601 Dude, why do you care?! 482 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,395 After all that I at least wanna know 483 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272 if I had a Merry Christmas or if darkness rules the earth. 484 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,149 Oh, come on! It's obvious what happens. 485 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,026 I get killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved! 486 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862 That's not at all what happens. 487 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,780 Aw, come on, let him read us the end! 488 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,157 Yeah, yeah, come on... 489 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,158 Yeah! Let him do it! 490 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,118 Alright, fine! 491 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294 A-a-ahem... 492 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,671 "Oh, dear, my best friend is possessed, how about that!" 493 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,174 said the little boy in the red poof ball hat..." 494 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,384 Ha ha haaa! 495 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137 Now I shall rule the-- ughh... aahghgh... 496 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,638 God it burns! 497 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,849 Aahhhh... my soul is on fire! 498 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,226 Ohhh, I don't like this. 499 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,271 I didn't know it would feel so... dark and evil! 500 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,189 Well what did you expect, dude? 501 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,523 It's the son of the devil. 502 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,317 Oh God, what have I done? 503 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,902 I'm sorry, please... 504 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,361 I don't wanna be the vessel for the Antichrist! 505 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,822 I'm sorry but it's too late, Kyle. 506 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,824 Santa's gonna have to kill you. 507 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,367 No, Santa don't! 508 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,828 We don't have a choice, in a few hours 509 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,915 the dark creature inside him will consume his soul! 510 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,792 The little boy fretted, he almost started to bawl... 511 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,088 But that's when he came up with the best idea of all. 512 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,715 The lion cubs! 513 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,675 ...The little boy quickly begun... 514 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,385 I took them to see how abortions are done! 515 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:20,887 What? 516 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,431 Now, cubs do like they showed you, hurry up fast 517 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,934 get the Antichrist of my friend Kyle's ass! 518 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,229 And in the twinkling starlight 519 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,897 each little cub did their portion. 520 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,941 They remembered all they had learned 521 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,984 and gave Kyle an abortion. 522 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,611 Aarhghgh...! 523 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,488 gagahrhgrh...! 524 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,031 Kill, destroy! 525 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:40,782 Ghghrhrhg! 526 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,951 Kill, destroy! 527 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,287 Gagahrhgrh-- 528 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500 Thanks, everybody. 529 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,085 I'm sorry I got a little crazy there. 530 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,378 Well, little boy, 531 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,546 it seems that you have really been through a lot. 532 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,758 Is there any special present you would like this year? 533 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,219 Yeah... yeah there is. 534 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,895 What... oh my, what happened? 535 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,105 Mommy? 536 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,523 Yea! - You're back! 537 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:14,983 We missed you Mommy! 538 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,651 Oh, good. 539 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,403 And back home, there were presents 540 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,780 and lots of food to get fat 541 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,782 and it was the best Christmas ever 542 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,703 for the boy in the red poof ball hat. 543 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,164 And they all lived happily ever after. 544 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,668 Except for Kyle who died of AIDS two weeks later. 545 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,963 [Kyle] God damn it Cartman! 546 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,632 ♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪ 547 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:44,095 ♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪ 548 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099 ♪ Every animal big or small ♪ 549 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,644 ♪ Christmas means the world to us all ♪ 550 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:55,773 ♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪ 551 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,986 ♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪ 552 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,280 ♪ once a year ♪