1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
9
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,284
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:37,830
This is it, Stan.
11
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,041
If you strike this kid out,
we all get to go home.
12
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:43,419
Now batting for Conifer
is little Allen Vargas.
13
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,421
Hey, batter, batter,
batter, batter!
14
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,214
No hit, no hit!
Can't hit it, can't hit it!
15
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,507
Can't hit it, can't hit it,
can't hit it!
16
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,884
Hit it out of the park, Allen!
17
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,427
South Park sucks!
18
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,095
Just look at those boys
out there
19
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,805
loving the great game
of baseball
20
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,183
like we did when we were kids.
21
00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:01,062
Oh, God.
I'm so bored!
22
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,813
[ Yawns ]
23
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,899
♪ I see a ladybug ♪
24
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,692
♪ Hello, lady, ladybug ♪
25
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,072
Strike.
26
00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,239
That was no strike.
27
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,699
What the hell is wrong with you,
ump?
28
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,493
Good call, ump.
Good call.
29
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,745
Come on, Allen!
This pitcher throws like a girl!
30
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,872
- What'd you say?
- You heard me, asshole!
31
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,832
You want me to kick your ass
right here?
32
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,000
Randy, sit down.
33
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,126
You want a piece of me?
34
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,420
'Cause I'm pretty sick
of your goddamn mouth.
35
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,424
What do you want to do, huh?
What do you want to do?
36
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,550
Randy, don't.
37
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,927
You better shut up, asshole!
38
00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,762
I'm standin' right here.
How do you want to handle it?
39
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,430
I told you to shut up!
40
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,726
[ Both grunting ]
41
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,649
Oh, Jesus.
Not again.
42
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,068
Come on, Stan.
43
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,320
Just strike this kid out
so we can end the season.
44
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,907
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
45
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,659
Strike three!
You're out!
46
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,786
Yes! It's over!
It's over!
47
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,247
That's it.
South Park wins the game 4-0.
48
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,832
We're done!
No more baseball!
49
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,917
No more boring baseball
until next year!
50
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,544
We can start having fun again!
51
00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:08,379
[All cheering ]
52
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,922
Yeah! We did it!
We did it!
53
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,299
Yeah! We did it, boys!
We did it!
54
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,177
We're going to the finals!
Whoo-hoo!
55
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,389
What?
56
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,767
We won. That means we've got
the best record in the division.
57
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,810
Congratulations, boys.
58
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,353
You're going on
to the postseason.
59
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,230
- Whoo-hoo!
- Postseason?
60
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,982
Nobody said anything
about a postseason.
61
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,484
There's more Little League
baseball for South Park!
62
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,569
Yeah!
63
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,196
[Adults cheering ]
64
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,740
No.
65
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,534
No-o-o!
66
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,035
[ Slurring ]
This is for what?!
67
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,662
Arresting me for what?
68
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,831
I'm not allowed to stand up
for myself?
69
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,374
I thought this was America!
70
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,084
Huh?
Isn't this America?!
71
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,378
I'm sorry.
I thought this was America.
72
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,050
I can't believe it.
73
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,052
I can't believe
we have to keep playing.
74
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,929
Nobody told us
if we won too many games
75
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,639
we'd go on to the finals.
76
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,808
Look, you guys,
maybe it's not all that bad.
77
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,894
Not all that bad?
How can you say that?
78
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,979
You hate this game
more than any of us.
79
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,147
I know, but listen.
80
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,982
The finals are all
sudden-death elimination.
81
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,735
That means as soon as we lose
one game, our season is over.
82
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,779
Well, yeah,
but...we usually win.
83
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,740
All the other teams
are worse than us.
84
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,535
Yeah. Let's face it --
We're winners.
85
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,288
- I know we can lose if we try.
- You mean throw the game?
86
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457
You know how our parents are
about this sport.
87
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,084
Yeah, my dad always said,
"It's okay to lose,
88
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,795
but if you don't try,
you're grounded, mister."
89
00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,589
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
90
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674
Okay, so then we'll just tell
the other team quietly
91
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,093
that we're gonna let them win
and then act like we're trying.
92
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:39,762
Our parents will never know.
93
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,388
We better hope they never know,
94
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,265
or else there's going to be
heck to pay.
95
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,226
Heck, I tell ya!
96
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,393
ALL:
Cheers!
97
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,853
Boy, that was great, wasn't it?
98
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,813
Yeah. Our boys really
stuck it to 'em.
99
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:50,648
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
100
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,191
- All right!
- Hey!
101
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,234
ALL:
Hey!
102
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:55,527
- You're out.
- How much was bail this time?
103
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,196
Hundred bucks.
No big whoop.
104
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,907
Boy, you really beat the crap
out of that Conifer dad.
105
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,409
Somebody had to put
that knucklehead in his place.
106
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,120
Yeah. Well, you'd better
watch yourself in the playoffs.
107
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,330
W-What do you mean?
108
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,873
I mean you always get
into fights
109
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,042
with scrappy redneck dads
up here in the mountains,
110
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,044
but some of those
Division-II dads are tough.
111
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,130
Yeah. Those dads get
really drunk and obnoxious.
112
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,425
I can fight anybody.
I just need to train.
113
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,721
I just...need to get
in the best shape of my life.
114
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,976
MAN: The Beatles, from the White
Album, with "Helter Skelter."
115
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,644
- Okay --
- [ Click ]
116
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,148
[ Sniffles ]
117
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,261
[ Burps ]
118
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,263
[ Farts ]
119
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,183
MAN: We want to welcome
all South Park parents
120
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,184
to Fort Collins
121
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,186
and the Little League
Division-I playoffs.
122
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,939
[ Cheers and applause ]
123
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,400
[ Insects chirping ]
124
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,111
Uh, hey, guys, look.
We don't want to win.
125
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,321
So, uh, here's a list
126
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,281
of all the pitches
I'm gonna throw, in order.
127
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,199
ALL:
Ooh!
128
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,951
I don't think so, South Park.
129
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,870
Yeah.
You think we want to win?
130
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,621
Then we have to keep playing
this boring game.
131
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,789
- Yeah!
- Uh-huh.
132
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,875
You hate this game, too?
133
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,835
Yeah, and then we won
the stupid regionals
134
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,795
and had to do this
lousy-ass tournament.
135
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,881
We want to play video games.
136
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,007
Oh, no!
137
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,217
Look, we're gonna be
the losers tonight, all right?
138
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,302
I don't think so.
139
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,262
There's no way you can lose
to us.
140
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,848
We're going do-o-wn.
We're gonna get cre-e-amed!
141
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,808
No.
We 're gonna get creamed!
142
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,310
We'll just see about that.
143
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,978
- SOUTH PARK: Oh, yeah?
- FORT COLLINS: Yeah!
144
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:53,896
Oh, boy.
145
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,023
They're really gettin'
in each other's heads out there.
146
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,858
Yeah!
Let's go, South Park!
147
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,152
These Fort Collins kids
got nothin'!
148
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,362
Whoo!
149
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,490
Come on, Fort Collins!
Let 'em have it! Yeah!
150
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,575
Guess that's my guy.
151
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,286
I can take him.
No problem.
152
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,414
All right.
Hit one out of the park.
153
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,085
And first up for Fort Collins
is Morgan Pratt.
154
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,170
Hey, batter, batter,
batter, batter!
155
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,671
Hey, batter,
batter, batter!
156
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,548
Knock it out of the park,
Morgan!
157
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:22,883
Cream these turds!
158
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,014
Strike!
159
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:29,932
Yeah!
160
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,058
- Yeah!
- All right!
161
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,643
- All right!
- Damn it!
162
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,353
Come on, kid.
You got to at least swing at it.
163
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,896
No way.
I'm striking out.
164
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,190
Dude, he's not gonna swing,
so just throw balls.
165
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,401
That way he'll have to walk
to first base.
166
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,238
Ball!
167
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,322
All right!
168
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,156
Morgan.
169
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,741
What?
170
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:48,992
You have to swing
when it's a ball.
171
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,411
Otherwise you're gonna walk
to first base.
172
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,371
Don't swing
only if it's a strike.
173
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,914
Well, how the Sam Hill
am I supposed to know
174
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,707
if he's gonna be throwing
a strike or a ball?
175
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,209
You just have to guess.
176
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,211
Aw, Jesus.
177
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,048
Ball.
Ball.
178
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,635
Strike two!
179
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,511
No!
180
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,721
That was no strike!
That was a terrible pitch!
181
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,390
You need some
goddamn Lasik surgery!
182
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,059
Thataway, South Park!
They ain't swingin' at nothin'!
183
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,229
Come on, Fort Collins!
This team can't pitch!
184
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,939
♪ Got to learn to take it ♪
185
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,399
♪ Try to believe ♪
186
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,775
There you go, Morgan!
Run, run, run!
187
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,068
Aw, damn it.
188
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,403
Why the hell
did you swing at it?
189
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,321
I thought he was gonna throw
a ball that time!
190
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,740
♪ You're the best around ♪
191
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,992
Strike three!
You're out!
192
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,201
All right!
193
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,828
♪ You're the best around ♪
194
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,788
- Ball four!
- What?
195
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,248
- ♪ You're the best around ♪
- Walk to first. Whoo!
196
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,583
Aw, God damn it.
197
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,710
♪ Nothing's gonna
ever keep you down ♪
198
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:40,711
Safe!
199
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:41,962
- ♪ Down ♪
- Crud.
200
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,923
Fort Collins can't play!
201
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,342
Why don't you shut your mouth
before I kick your ass?!
202
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,927
♪ Ah, got to be proud,
staring out in the cloud ♪
203
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,512
Come on! Let's go!
I'm right here.
204
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,763
Randy.
205
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,599
Sit down before you get hurt.
206
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,392
♪ And one day time will tell ♪
207
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,643
Mother --
208
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,811
[ Both grunting ]
209
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,938
- ♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪
- God damn it.
210
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,940
♪ You're the best around ♪
211
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,817
Strike three!
You're out!
212
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,903
♪ You're the best around ♪
213
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,529
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
214
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,281
That's it.
South Park wins the game.
215
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,616
[ Cheering ]
216
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,534
Aw, spit!
217
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,827
[ Slurring ]
Oh, I'm sorry.
218
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,746
I thought I was --
I thought I was in America.
219
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:16,830
I'm sorry.
220
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,791
[ Music continues ]
221
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,878
Strike three!
You're out!
222
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:23,879
Yeah!
223
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:24,922
[ Cheering ]
224
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,590
God damn it, Brian!
Swing!
225
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,635
[ Chanting ] Greeley sucks!
Greeley sucks!
226
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,595
Ball four!
227
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,180
Aw, hamburgers.
228
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,723
- ♪ You're the best around ♪
- [ Groaning ]
229
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,975
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
230
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,311
♪ You're the best around ♪
231
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,437
Strike three!
232
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,897
How the hell
was that a strike?!
233
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,024
God damn it!
He should be going to first!
234
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,485
[ Slurring ] Is this a communist
country or something?!
235
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,195
I thought this was America!
236
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,655
[ Music continues ]
237
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,156
♪ Fight till you drop ♪
238
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,950
¡Strike tres!
239
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,952
- ¡Bueno!
- ¡Fantástico!
240
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,746
¡Vámonos, Pueblo!
¡Viva la Pueblo!
241
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,917
¡Pueblo no bueno!
¡Pueblo es muy mal!
242
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211
Ball cuatro, por favor.
243
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,338
♪ You're the best around ♪
244
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,340
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
245
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,508
♪ You're the best around ♪
246
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,968
[ Slurring ]
This is America.
247
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,511
I'm sorry.
It was America.
248
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,513
♪ You're the best around ♪
249
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,557
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
250
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,184
♪ You're the best around ♪
251
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,602
Can you believe it, boys?
252
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,146
We're playing in
the state championship game!
253
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,482
[Adults cheering ]
254
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,484
We're so proud of you kids.
255
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,987
What happens if we win
the state championship game?
256
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,697
Well, then your
whole season starts over,
257
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,490
but on the national circuit.
258
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,618
You get to spend your
whole summer playing baseball!
259
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161
- What?!
- You can do it, kids!
260
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:39,621
We know you can win state!
261
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,831
Then we'll spend
the whole summer
262
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:44,334
going to Nebraska and Iowa
and Wyoming.
263
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,920
Oh, no.
No, no, no!
264
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,089
[ Insects chirping ]
265
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,634
Dad.
Dad, we need to talk.
266
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,094
Can you believe it, Stan?
267
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,722
- The state championship game.
- [ Down-tempo music plays ]
268
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,516
It's...the greatest thing ever.
269
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,687
[ Sighs ]
God damn it.
270
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,440
I worked hard,
believed in myself,
271
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:10,235
and now I'm gonna be fighting
in the state championship game.
272
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,072
This is gonna be
the biggest fight of my life.
273
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,992
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
274
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,411
MAN:
This is "News 4 at Noon."
275
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,872
The Colorado Little League
state championship
276
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,290
is being played this week.
277
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,792
Two teams of youngsters
get to go head-to-head
278
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,462
at the Major League stadium
downtown.
279
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,547
Tom, I'm standing here
with the little sluggers
280
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:31,632
and some of their parents,
281
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,967
and I can't tell you
how excited they are.
282
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,844
I don't suppose you guys
want to win this game?
283
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,638
Win? Why the hell
would we want to win?
284
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,474
Yeah. Then we'd have to play
this boring game all summer.
285
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,850
Little Stan Marsh is the pitcher
286
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143
for the South Park
Little League team.
287
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,853
Stan, how does it feel
to be playing
288
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,730
for the state championship?
289
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,731
Gay.
290
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,691
Mr. Marsh, you must be
very proud of your son.
291
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,652
They've worked really hard
to get here, Chris.
292
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,737
You know, I don't like
to really "trash-talk,"
293
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,406
but I don't think Denver has
a chance.
294
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,659
Oh! Well, I'm sure some of
the Denver kids' parents
295
00:10:58,784 --> 00:10:59,910
would disagree with you --
296
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,412
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
297
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,581
South Park is goin' down!
298
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,416
Feel it comin'!
299
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,460
You ain't got a chance,
South Park!
300
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,629
[ Chanting ]
Here we go, Denver, here we go!
301
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,630
Huh! Huh!
302
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,631
Who is that?
303
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,008
That's Tom Nelson, one of
the Denver players' fathers.
304
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,927
He goes to every game
in that ridiculous outfit
305
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,346
and usually drinks too much
and gets into a fight.
306
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,473
There ain't no way
some little mountain kids
307
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,683
can beat Denver!
308
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,768
Not with my son on second base!
309
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,521
Oh, looks like we got some
parental trash-talking going on.
310
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:28,897
Mr. Marsh, any comment?
311
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,357
Well, I think
that there's a, uh --
312
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,441
Mr. Marsh?!
313
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,819
Who wants to hear
from a Mr. Marsh?!
314
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:37,239
I am the ultimate Little League
trash-talking father!
315
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,783
I am the Bat Dad!
316
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,702
All right, Mr. Nelson.
Let's go. Come on.
317
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:45,414
Bat Dad knows no fear!
Bat Dad knows no pain!
318
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,083
I want you, Marsh!
I want you!
319
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,752
Well, tension is
certainly high here,
320
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,463
but I guess everything will be
decided on the playing field.
321
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,340
Oh, my...God.
322
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,384
Good luck.
You're gonna need it.
323
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,387
Yeah. You can't lose to us.
We're terrible.
324
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,182
Dude, what are we gonna do?
We can't win this game.
325
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,642
Wait.
I've got it, you guys.
326
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,186
At this point in a sports movie,
the team always goes out
327
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,522
and finds a really sweet player
to join their team.
328
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,899
Like that motorcycle kid
in "Bad News Bears."
329
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:13,984
Exactly right, Clyde.
330
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,945
So what we need is to find
somebody to join our team
331
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,864
who totally sucks ass.
332
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:19,990
Hey, yeah.
333
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,742
We need to find
the very worst kid athlete
334
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,327
in the whole world,
somebody who can't possibly win.
335
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,454
But who?
336
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,205
I know who.
337
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,626
MAN: Announcing the arrival of
flight 673 from New York City.
338
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,379
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
339
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,424
I'm ba-a-a-ck!
340
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,425
There he is.
341
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,218
Don't let him know
we think he's a loser,
342
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,595
or else he won't play.
343
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,847
Hello, cousin Kyle.
344
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,515
Oh, Jesus.
That flight was terrible.
345
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,268
They served a chicken dish with
hot sauce, and it gave me gas.
346
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,395
Dude, thanks for helping us out
by joining our team.
347
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,731
Well, you said you needed
my help to win the big game,
348
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,940
so here I am.
349
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,942
I'll need a wipe cloth
if I'm gonna play, though.
350
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,028
Sometimes I sweat from holding
the bat for so long,
351
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,947
and then the heat
steams up my glasses.
352
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,783
- He's perfect.
- Yeah.
353
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,202
With him on our team,
we don't stand a chance.
354
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:11,124
[ Soft piano music plays ]
355
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,598
[ Gulls crying ]
356
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,275
[ Music continues ]
357
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,030
[ Latch clicks ]
358
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,713
I'm not gonna go.
359
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,048
What?
360
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,550
Stan's Little League game.
361
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,427
I'm -- I'm not gonna go.
362
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,971
Why?
363
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:11,059
I just...don't think I can,
all right?
364
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,310
You don't think you can?
365
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,187
This is the biggest game
of your son's life.
366
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,022
Why wouldn't you go
and support him with --
367
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,108
Because I'm scared, all right?!
368
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,112
You want to break me down?!
You want to hear me to say it?!
369
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,114
I'm scared!
370
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,616
I don't know if I believe
in myself anymore.
371
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:30,412
I don't know if I can take
this guy, Sharon.
372
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,872
So then don't.
373
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,416
You don't have to get in fights
with other parents
374
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,667
at Little League games.
375
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,627
Just sit there and watch.
376
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,838
Look, I get
what you're trying to do.
377
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,757
You're trying to get me to
realize that I have to fight him
378
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:43,800
because it's who I am.
379
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,469
No, I'm telling you you don't
have to get thrown out of games
380
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,305
and make an ass of yourself!
381
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,223
I've lost the edge.
382
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,725
I'm sorry, Sharon,
383
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,061
but you have to take Stan
to his Little League game alone.
384
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,649
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
385
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,359
MAN: Welcome to
the Colorado Little League
386
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,612
state championship game.
387
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,906
This must be pretty exciting
for these youngsters --
388
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,158
a chance to go
to the national circuit.
389
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,495
You know what these guys
look like to me?
390
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:13,580
A bunch of winners.
391
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,707
Yeah. We're about to get
our asses kicked.
392
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,084
I don't think so.
You guys are way too good.
393
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,586
You're the best at this game.
394
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:20,670
You're the best.
395
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,671
You guys are so good
396
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,089
you'll probably go all the way
to win the national title.
397
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,008
Not a chance, 'cause we're
gonna lose to you right now!
398
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,718
Here we go, Denver!
399
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,054
These South Park kids
got nothing on you!
400
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,889
Let's go, Denver!
401
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,682
Chris, will you sit down?
402
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,894
First up to bat for South Park,
Kyle Schwartz.
403
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,354
[Applause ]
404
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,772
Where do I stand?
405
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,774
Right over here.
406
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,615
Don't throw the ball too fast,
407
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,493
because I may get startled,
and I have asthma.
408
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,538
Strike one!
409
00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,374
- Yeah!
- All right!
410
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,125
Jesus!
Not so close!
411
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,170
That was three feet away
from hitting me in the head!
412
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,589
He's not gonna swing!
Throw balls!
413
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:06,967
Oh, Jesus!
414
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,426
Strike two!
415
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,970
ALL:
Yeah!
416
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,846
Wow!
He is great at sucking.
417
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,099
We're gonna lose!
We're gonna lose!
418
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,643
Don't throw it so hard
or so close next time.
419
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,938
Is it cold out here?
I think I need a jacket.
420
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,028
It's a bunt!
421
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,405
Run, kid, run!
422
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,532
Oh, Jesus!
423
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,369
Aw, crap!
424
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,913
[ Breathing heavily ]
425
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,419
I can't -- I can't keep
running like this.
426
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,087
I have corns in my feet.
427
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,755
Keep running, kid!
428
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,924
Throw the ball to third,
you idiots!
429
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,551
He's running home!
430
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,303
Safe!
431
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,596
[ Cheering ]
432
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,266
[ Fireworks exploding ]
433
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,018
Oh, Jesus!
Did you see that?
434
00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,185
I hit a home run!
435
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,022
High five, everybody!
436
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:03,106
Oh, my God.
437
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,525
Their pitcher was able
to hit him right on the bat.
438
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,943
Dude, we had it all wrong.
439
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,362
While we spent all our time
trying to make our team suck,
440
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,407
these guys practiced
and got really good at sucking.
441
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,911
[ Cheers and applause ]
442
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:19,789
No!
443
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,499
Yeah!
Go, Token, go!
444
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,792
[ Organ playing ]
445
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,171
All right, Denver!
You're up to bat now!
446
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,431
Out!
447
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,766
- Yay!
- Yay!
448
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,143
Jesus Christ!
They can bat themselves out!
449
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,979
[ Organ playing ]
450
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,233
Our whole summer, dude.
451
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,861
We have to play this boring game
all summer long.
452
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,489
Son of a biscuit!
453
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,909
[ Organ plays fanfare ]
454
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,495
It's the bottom of the last
inning here at Coors Field.
455
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:02,624
The score is South Park 23,
Denver 0.
456
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,878
Strike one!
457
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,631
Come on, Denver!
Get the lead out!
458
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,342
Do not cross the Bat Dad!
459
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,677
Geez, I really wish
this guy would shut up.
460
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:17,430
Why don't you just go home,
South Park?!
461
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,474
You can't beat Denver!
462
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,894
STAN'S DAD:
Denver sucks ass.
463
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,855
[ Dramatic music plays ]
464
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,487
Come on, South Park!
These kids can't play!
465
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,783
In fact,
these kids are terrible.
466
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,287
Strike two!
467
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,039
Oh, Jesus!
We're gonna win!
468
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:47,001
I-I've never won a sport before.
This is so exciting.
469
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,380
It's over, Denver.
South Park whupped your ass.
470
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:54,259
You better shut your mouth
before I shut it for you!
471
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,470
What do you want to do, huh?
472
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,472
Aah!
473
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,396
This can't get any worse.
474
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,523
[ Both grunting ]
475
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,195
Now for the finishing move!
476
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,490
You're about to be
Bat-Dadded!
477
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,245
[ Grunts ]
478
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,746
It all comes down to this.
479
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540
South Park
is just one pitch away
480
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,834
from being state champions.
481
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,170
[ Grunting ]
482
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,214
Oh, geez. It looks like
two parents are fighting.
483
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,257
They'd better be careful.
484
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,551
The Little League has
a no-tolerance policy.
485
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,219
- [ Men grunting ]
- Stop!
486
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,514
Stop or you're gonna get
your teams disqualified!
487
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,766
Disqualified?
488
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,311
Fight!
Keep fighting!
489
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,938
[ Dramatic music plays ]
490
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,733
Break it up!
Break it up!
491
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,319
[ Roars ]
492
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,907
[ Music continues ]
493
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,953
That's enough!
494
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:07,040
The next person that fights is
getting his team disqualified.
495
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,667
He's done for anyway.
496
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,711
[ Heart beating ]
497
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,463
[ Echoing ]
Come on, Dad. Get up.
498
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,881
Get up!
You have to fight!
499
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,384
All right. Come on.
Let's play ball.
500
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,763
[ Chanting ]
Randy! Randy! Randy!
501
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,890
Get up, Rock!
502
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,934
Get up, ya bum!
503
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,062
Get up, Randy!
Fight! Fight for me!
504
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,981
[ Chanting ]
Randy! Randy! Randy!
505
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,901
Randy! Randy! Randy!
506
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:38,154
Randy! Randy! Randy!
507
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,656
Hey, Bat Dad.
508
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,161
I didn't hear no bell.
509
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,913
ALL:
Yeah!
510
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,748
[ Grunting ]
511
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,166
Stop!
Stop right now!
512
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,752
[ High-pitched ]
♪ I'm the best around ♪
513
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,004
[ Humming ]
514
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,422
I'm warning you, sir.
515
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,174
♪ The best around ♪
516
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,425
[ Grunts ]
517
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,514
That's it! That's it!
South Park is disqualified!
518
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,974
ALL:
Yeah!
519
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,892
ALL:
Aww!
520
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,061
South Park has been disqualified
from the game.
521
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,354
Denver wins!
522
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,023
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
523
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,025
[ Boys cheering ]
524
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,902
ALL:
Aww!
525
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,779
We -- We lost?
526
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,616
What?! What?!
I thought it was a free country!
527
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,659
STAN:
Dad!
528
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,495
You're the greatest.
529
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,873
♪ You're the best around ♪
530
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,625
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
531
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,128
♪ You're the best around ♪
532
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879
♪ And nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
533
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,382
♪ You're the best around ♪
534
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,844
♪ Nothing's gonna ever
keep you down ♪
535
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,887
♪ Down ♪
536
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,807
♪ Fight to the end
'cause your life will depend ♪
537
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,809
♪ On the strength
that you have inside you ♪
538
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,020
♪ Ah, got to be proud,
standing out in the crowd ♪
539
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,105
♪ When the odds in the game
defy you ♪
540
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,190
♪ You try your best
to win them all ♪
541
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,359
♪ And one day time will tell ♪
542
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,486
♪ When you're the one
that's standing there ♪
543
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,613
♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪
544
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,740
♪ You're the best ♪