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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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[ Imitating engines revving ]
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Puh-pew!
Puh-pew-pew-pew-pew!
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Dude, you were right, Cartman.
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Your Uncle Roy has a sweet boat.
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Yeah.
Isn't this fun?
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Just you and me hanging out,
Stan.
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No stupid Kyle around.
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Man, I wish I could
really drive this thing.
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- You know how?
- Sure, I do.
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Well, here.
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Roy keeps the keys
in the glove box.
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Dude, I don't think your
uncle would want us driving it.
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Nobody's gonna know if we drive
it around the marina real quick.
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If anything happens,
I'll take full responsibility.
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[ Water splashing ]
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Okay.
Turn on the ignition.
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[ Engine starts ]
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Awesome.
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Okay.
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[ Engine revs ]
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We're not moving.
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Maybe you have
the parking brake on!
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Boats don't have parking brakes,
dumb-ass.
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They only have...
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Oh, wait, wait.
Neutral button.
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[ Engine revving ]
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- Aah!
- Aah!
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Other way!
Other way!
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- Aah!
- Aah!
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- BI-bl-bl-bl!
- BI-bl-bl-bl!
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Jesus Christ!
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Stan!
Beaver dam!
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Very large beaver dam, Stan!
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Aah!
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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[ Grunting ]
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[ Explosion ]
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Oh, dude.
Oh, Jesus!
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Dude. Stan.
You are in serious trouble.
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You said
you'd take responsibility
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to your Uncle Roy.
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I don't even have an Uncle Roy!
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That was just some guy's boat
I knew about.
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- What?!
- Look. It's okay.
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We weren't here.
This didn't happen, okay?
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We were both at my house
all afternoon long
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playing tea party, okay?
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Now, come on!
We got to bail!
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Oh, God.
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I hope I didn't hurt
any beavers.
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Dude, come on!
We got to get out of here!
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[ Birds chirping ]
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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MAN: With an eye on America
and all of today's events,
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it's "South Park Evening News,"
with Tom Pusslicker.
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Peril, crisis, and fear tonight
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as what appears to be
a massive flood
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has overtaken the town
of Beaverton, Colorado,
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home of the world's largest
beaver dam.
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Earlier today
a break in the beaver dam
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which protected the town
broke open,
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trapping people in their houses
and destroying their lives.
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Oh, my gosh.
Those poor people.
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Tom, I'm currently 10 miles
outside of Beaverton,
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unable to get inside
the town proper.
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We do not have any reports
of fatalities yet,
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but we believe
that the death toll
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may be in the hundreds
of millions.
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Beaverton has only a population
of about 8,000, Tom,
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so this would be
quite devastating.
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TOM: Any word on how the
survivors in the town are doing?
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W-We're not sure
what exactly is going on
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inside the town of Beaverton,
uh, Tom,
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but we're reporting
that there's looting, raping,
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and, yes,
even acts of cannibalism.
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My God. You've --
You've actually seen people
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looting, raping,
and eating each other?
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No. No, we haven't
actually seen it, Tom.
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We're just reporting it.
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You all done
with your fish sticks, Stan?
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I'll help you, Sharon.
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Boy, that's just awful.
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TOM: In the nearby town
of South Park,
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the cause of the Beaverton flood
is being investigated.
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That's right.
We know whose fault this is.
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Uh-oh.
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It's George Bush's fault!
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Yeah!
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George Bush doesn't care
about beavers!
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George Bush didn't break
that beaver dam.
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It was terrorists and al-Qaeda!
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They've been secretly building
beaver-dam WMDs for years now!
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- Yeah! That's right!
- Beaver dam WMDs!
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Mom? Dad?
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T-They're gonna go help
those people, right?
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I don't know.
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You know, to me, it seems like
the mayor of Beaverton
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should have done something
about that dam years ago.
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Don't blame the mayor, Sharon.
What about FEMA?
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I think this whole thing
is really their fault.
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Yeah, but, uh, s-somebody's
gonna help the people
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off their --
their rooftops, right?
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That's not important right now,
son.
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What's important is figuring out
whose fault this is.
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[ Bell rings ]
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Dude -- Dude, did you see
the news last night?
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Yeah.
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You saw all those people
trapped on their roofs?
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Yeah.
That was pretty funny.
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Pretty funny?!
Dude, we did that!
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That was our fault!
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Hey, hey.
No, dog.
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We aren't the ones
who built a town
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beneath a giant beaver dam,
okay?
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That's their fault!
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But they're trapped now,
and nobody's helping them.
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Well, they should have
gotten out of there.
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Maybe they couldn't get out.
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We did.
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Dude, I-I just --
I don't know what to do here.
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I-I know what you're thinking,
Stan.
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You're thinking
you're gonna go tell Kyle.
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Look, I know you think
he's your best friend,
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but Kyle is a Jew rat.
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He has his Jew ethics, while
he hoards his greedy Jew gold,
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and he will Jew you out
if you tell him about this!
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- Hey, dudes.
- Oh. Hey, Kyle.
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Sorry I couldn't make it
yesterday.
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What did you guys do?
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Nothing.
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[ Chuckles ]
Totally.
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Hey, everybody,
they just found out
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what caused the flood
in Beaverton!
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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Aw, crap!
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Quiet, children. Quiet.
We need to hear.
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TOM: At first, nobody knew
what caused the dam to break.
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But now shocking new evidence
has indicated
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that the flood in Beaverton
was caused by...
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global warming!
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[All gasp ]
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It now appears that all rumors
of global warming were true.
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We were warned
this would happen, and...
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we didn't listen.
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We didn't listen!
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All the top Colorado geologists
have gathered
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at the governor's office
for an emergency meeting.
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
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Ladies and gentlemen,
if global warming has, in fact,
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already caused
the Beaverton flood,
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then this is only the beginning.
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The effects are going to spread.
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What we are looking at is
a global-warming catastrophe
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the likes of which
we've never seen.
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- Oh, peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,624
- Peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,792
- Peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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E-Excuse me, sir, but when?
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When is this going to happen?
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00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,215
My colleagues
in the scientific community
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00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,969
are still running tests,
but we believe it may happen...
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the day after tomorrow.
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Oh!
Peas and carrots!
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00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,933
- Peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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Uh, excuse me.
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I'm sure we're all
very impressed
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with your wild theories,
Dr., uh, Marsh.
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00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,650
But the fact is
no statistical proof
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00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,736
has ever been confirmed
that global warming exists.
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Are you suggesting we shut down
the economy?
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With all due respect,
cliché dissenting Republican,
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00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,373
the economy isn't going to
matter the day after tomorrow.
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- Peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,251
- Peas and carrots!
- Peas and carrots!
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Listen!
Listen!
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We finished running the tests.
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Global warming
is going to strike
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two days before
the day after tomorrow.
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Oh, my God.
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That's today!
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[All screaming ]
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00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,109
[All screaming ]
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[All screaming ]
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We didn't listen!
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00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,913
Stan! Get in the car!
We have to evacuate!
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00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,665
We didn't listen!
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00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,293
[ Horns honking,
indistinct shouting ]
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00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,214
[ Horn honks ]
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00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,590
Come on.
Come on!
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00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,842
It's useless.
This traffic isn't moving.
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00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,093
Dad, isn't it possible
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00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,471
the flood wasn't caused
by global warming?
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00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,264
I-I mean, the water
was held back
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00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,433
by a giant beaver dam,
after all.
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00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:39,311
No, Stan, I'm afraid us adults
just let you children down.
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00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,562
We didn't take care
of our earth,
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00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,439
and now you've inherited
our problems!
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00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,857
MAN:
We didn't listen!
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00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,484
We -- We didn't listen!
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00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,485
Come on!
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00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,320
Everyone grab what you can.
We have to walk.
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00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,073
[ Crowd shouting ]
212
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,912
Oh, Jesus!
Here it comes!
213
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,288
Global warming!
214
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,414
[All screaming ]
215
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,125
[ Dramatic music plays ]
216
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,135
MAN: It's coming!
Here comes global warming!
217
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,971
We didn't listen!
218
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,306
[ Music continues ]
219
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,439
Oh! Oh!
220
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,816
BI-bl-bl-bl!
221
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,402
BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
222
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,321
Come on!
Hurry!
223
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,990
[All screaming ]
224
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,783
MAN:
It's right behind us!
225
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,994
[ Music continues ]
226
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:39,288
[ Screaming continues ]
227
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,456
MAN:
It's coming the other way!
228
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,335
Go back!
Go back!
229
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,046
Everyone into
the community center! Hurry! Go!
230
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,048
Get inside!
We have to close these doors!
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00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,093
[ Music continues ]
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00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,474
Aah!
233
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,143
[ Doors lock ]
234
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,230
[ Dramatic music plays ]
235
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,983
Come on. We've got to board up
that last window!
236
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,401
Seal up all the doorways!
237
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,237
We must try to protect ourselves
from the global warming!
238
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,698
Mr. Garrison, are you all right?
239
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,158
I'm in pretty bad shape.
240
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,495
My leg is broken,
and my left boob is leaking.
241
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,122
Here you go, sweetheart.
242
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,333
Mom, you know,
those people in Beaverton
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00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,667
are still trapped in the flood.
244
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:26,668
I know.
245
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,129
But I'm afraid
it's too late for them, sweetie.
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00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,131
We have to try
and save ourselves now.
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00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,051
Shh! Shh! We've got
the television working.
248
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:38,847
MAN: This is a Fox News update!
Global Warming Disaster!
249
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,933
Global warming appears
to have struck, as predicted,
250
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,393
in the Colorado Rockies.
251
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,688
All around the country,
panic and chaos are settling in.
252
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,566
Tom, I'm standing
just outside of Chicago,
253
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,984
where the panic
of global warming
254
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,903
has already caused
countless deaths.
255
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,864
Already we're reporting that
the death toll here in Chicago
256
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,283
is over 600 billion people.
257
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,576
[ Insects chirping ]
258
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,204
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Oh, God.
259
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,623
This is all your fault, Jimbo!
260
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,458
- Me?
- Yeah!
261
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,502
You drive that damn S.U.V.
around!
262
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,837
You didn't even think about
global warming, did you?!
263
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,090
Can you believe it, Stan?
264
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,842
I never thought global warming
could happen so fast.
265
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,887
I guess...I didn't listen.
266
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:23,308
Kyle, it...
it isn't global warming.
267
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,518
Huh?
268
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,311
Global warming isn't happening
right now.
269
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,189
It's -- It's not what caused
the Beaverton flood.
270
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,649
How do you know that?
271
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,777
Because I know what did cause
the flood.
272
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,655
- George Bush?
- No.
273
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,490
- Terrorists?
- No.
274
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,741
- Communists?
- No.
275
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,618
- Chinese radicals?
- No.
276
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,203
Cartman?
277
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,246
Sort of.
278
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,956
- Cartman flooded Beaverton?!
- Shh!
279
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,332
Not -- Not exactly.
280
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126
We were messing around
on this guy's new boat,
281
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,585
and Cartman egged me on, and --
282
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,797
and I crashed it
into the Beaverton dam.
283
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,758
Dude, you have to tell everyone
right now!
284
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,553
Hey, Stan.
285
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,765
Oh, God damn it!
You told Kyle, didn't you?!
286
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,892
Stan, people in Beaverton are
still trapped on their roofs.
287
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,145
Nobody's helping because they
think they can't go outside.
288
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,688
Oh, here we go.
See? I told you.
289
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,273
If you're so caring, Kyle,
290
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858
why don't you share
some of your Jew gold
291
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,151
with the people
caught in the flood?
292
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,944
Look, maybe --
maybe we can help
293
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,779
those people
in Beaverton ourselves.
294
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,197
- How?
- Why?
295
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,991
We can sneak out of here,
get a boat,
296
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,409
and go help them
off their roofs.
297
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:26,663
That way I can do the right
thing, but still lie about it.
298
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,498
Listen!
Listen, everyone!
299
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,917
Nobody can leave this building.
300
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,421
But we need supplies --
food, silicone.
301
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,715
You go outside, and you'll die.
302
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,801
By now the global warming
has shifted the climate,
303
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,428
bringing on a new ice age.
304
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,221
Within the hour,
the temperature outside
305
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:47,225
will fall to over
70 million degrees below zero.
306
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,561
Jesus.
307
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:53,023
All we can do is try to
wait it out as long as we can.
308
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,983
And...the rest of the country?
309
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,068
[ Sighs ]
310
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,653
Everyone below this line
311
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,405
will have to be evacuated
to the South.
312
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,284
Everyone above this line
is already dead.
313
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,077
People like us,
in the middle states,
314
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,412
have to ride it out.
315
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,581
The balmy Southwestern states
might have a chance,
316
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,541
but New York will have
tidal waves
317
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,252
that envelop
all of the Northeast.
318
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,302
[ Snorts ]
319
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,138
What, Frank?
320
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:28,308
[ Snorts ]
321
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,812
Oh!
Oh, God damn it.
322
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,731
[ Dramatic music plays ]
323
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,361
Hello?
324
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,446
Anybody?
325
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,825
We'd like to be rescued, please!
326
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286
Any day now.
327
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,330
Why haven't they come for us?!
328
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,083
I-I don't know.
329
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,877
Wait! Look!
Here comes a boat!
330
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,088
Really?
Oh, it's about time!
331
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,090
Oh, Kevin!
We're saved!
332
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,509
It looks like three little boys.
333
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,928
Hey, we'll take it!
Over here! Yes!
334
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,389
Thank you!
Thank you!
335
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,142
[ Engine roaring,
boys screaming ]
336
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,812
[ Dramatic music plays ]
337
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,573
Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
338
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,032
That's a lot better.
339
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,911
We can't get out!
The flames are too big!
340
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,247
Oh, great.
You see, Stan?
341
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,457
This is what you get
for listening to Kyle.
342
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,001
"Oh, you got to help
those people.
343
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,003
It's your responsibility."
344
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,212
Stan, it's over.
345
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:42,382
You have to admit what you did
so our parents can help us.
346
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,555
Stan?
347
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,098
Stan?!
348
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,726
Randy, we've looked everywhere!
Kyle's missing, too!
349
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,978
Oh, my God!
Where would they go?
350
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,522
Randy! Randy!
Your son's on the phone.
351
00:14:58,899 --> 00:14:59,900
Stan?
352
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,693
Uh, hey, Dad.
353
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,111
Stan, you're alive!
354
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,988
Dad, we're --
we're trapped in Beaverton.
355
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,865
We -- We were trying
to save everyone.
356
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,451
Stan, listen to me.
You must stay indoors.
357
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,660
Do not try to go out.
358
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,246
Global warming has brought in
a new ice age!
359
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,041
No. Dad, listen.
I need to tell you something.
360
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,043
[ Voice breaking ]
What is it, son?
361
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,254
Nothing.
362
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,923
Can you just come get us,
please?
363
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051
You just stay put, son!
I'm coming for you!
364
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,762
Do you hear me?!
I'm coming for you!
365
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,847
[ Groans ]
366
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,767
Randy, w-where are you going?
367
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,268
I'm going to Beaverton.
368
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,771
You can't go out there.
You'll freeze to death!
369
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,564
My son is counting on me.
370
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,815
I'm going with you.
371
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,692
You can't go out there.
You'll freeze to death!
372
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,110
You can't do this alone!
373
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,278
Let me go, too.
374
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,239
You can't go out there.
You'll freeze to death.
375
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,532
All right.
Come on, both of you.
376
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,617
We've got to pull together
377
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,411
every warm piece of clothing
we can find.
378
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,622
[ Dramatic music plays ]
379
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,797
[ Groaning ]
380
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,134
[ Groans ]
381
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,928
[ Groans ]
382
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,471
Steven!
383
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,139
[ Groaning ]
384
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,100
Steven, you have to keep moving!
385
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,060
I can't go on.
386
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,146
Feel so...hot!
387
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:24,192
Feeling warmth is a symptom of
the last stages of hypothermia!
388
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,986
Oh, Jesus!
389
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,113
I feel warm, too!
390
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,447
Yeah, me too.
391
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,367
Steven!
We've got to keep moving!
392
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,828
We're in deep hypothermia,
all of us!
393
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,706
We've got to keep
the blood flowing!
394
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,500
Maybe we should
strip these jackets off
395
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:44,504
a-and warm our bodies
next to each other!
396
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,381
Don't be a fag!
397
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,134
Come on!
We can make it!
398
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,302
We have to try!
399
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,473
[ Dramatic music plays ]
400
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,475
Come on, people.
We're running out of time.
401
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,810
We need all Army helicopters
402
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,812
to the Southern states
for evacuation now!
403
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,523
Sir, more people in Beaverton
are calling.
404
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,526
They say they're trapped
in floods and fire now.
405
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,319
Tell them that the government
can't help them,
406
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:09,487
but that we're very sorry.
407
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,655
You know the plan, people.
408
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,241
We can only evacuate citizens
below this line.
409
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,493
- MAN: E-Excuse me, General.
- What?!
410
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,412
We've just compiled
some new information.
411
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,247
The flood in Beaverton
wasn't caused
412
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,707
by global warming after all.
413
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:21,541
What?
414
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:25,003
We know the truth now.
We know what caused it.
415
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,173
Oh, my God.
416
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,301
Quick!
Radio the helicopters!
417
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,263
[ Dramatic music plays ]
418
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726
Help!
Help!
419
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,353
Dude, this whole building
is going to collapse!
420
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,689
We have to find a way out!
421
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,109
[ Music continues ]
422
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738
Don't worry, everyone.
423
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,990
The government is here
to save you.
424
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,327
Oh, wow.
Thank you so much.
425
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,621
What a swift and speedy rescue.
426
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,372
Come on!
We got to get to the roof!
427
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,666
Oh, Jesus!
We have to hurry!
428
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:05,919
I-It's helicopters!
429
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,629
They finally came
to help everyone!
430
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,006
Not so fast, Kyle.
431
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- What are you doing?
432
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,010
Hand over the gold.
433
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,429
What gold?!
434
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,014
You know what I'm talking about!
435
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,934
No, Cartman, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
436
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,895
All Jews carry gold in
a little bag around their necks.
437
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,064
- Hand it over!
- Guys, come on!
438
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:27,649
Jews do not carry gold
in a little bag
439
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,983
around their necks, Cartman.
440
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,110
Stop playing around!
441
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,362
I'm not playing around, Kyle.
442
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,239
If we survive this, I don't
intend to live in poverty.
443
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,573
Give me your Jew gold now!
444
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,658
[ Rumbling ]
445
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,409
Dude, we don't have time
for your stupid jokes.
446
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,410
We're gonna die!
447
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,412
Yes, but you can live
if you give me your Jew gold.
448
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,914
The decision is yours, Kyle.
449
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,290
God damn it,
you know I don't carry gold
450
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,750
in a little bag around my neck,
Cartman!
451
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,835
What do you want from me?!
452
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,130
- I want your Jew gold.
- [ Gun cocks ]
453
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,132
[ Dramatic music plays ]
454
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,761
Okay. Fine.
Here!
455
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,596
Now let's go!
456
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,223
Do you think I'm stupid?
457
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,559
I know all Jews carry fake bags
of gold around their necks
458
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,435
to keep the real bags of gold
around their necks safe.
459
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,771
Hand over the real Jew gold,
Kyle!
460
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,524
[ Dramatic music plays ]
461
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,319
[ Laughs ]
462
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:18,032
No!
No-o-o!
463
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,665
Hey!
Wait up, you assholes!
464
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,000
God!
465
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,879
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
466
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,799
Hey! Look, everybody!
Helicopters!
467
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,385
T-They've got the boys!
468
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,179
Global warming must be over.
469
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,471
We made it!
470
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:43,099
[All cheering ]
471
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,646
Stanley!
472
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:49,856
Kyle!
473
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,484
[ Weakly ]
Stan?
474
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,361
We found Stan!
475
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,487
[ Groans ]
476
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,865
So does -- does this mean
the storm has passed?
477
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,325
Global warming's over?
478
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,119
Global warming didn't cause
the Beaverton flood.
479
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,414
We know now whose fault it is.
480
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,625
It was...crab people.
481
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,043
[ Dramatic music plays ]
482
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,294
ALL:
Oh!
483
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:15,381
CRAB PEOPLE:
♪ Crab people, crab people ♪
484
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,133
- ♪ Tastes like -- ♪
- Stop it! Stop it!
485
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:20,011
First it was terrorists, then
George Bush and global warming,
486
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,346
and now you're all blaming
crab people
487
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,264
for something
that's very simple.
488
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,143
It's my fault.
I broke the dam.
489
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,314
Aw, man.
490
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,776
Stanley, you?
491
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:35,777
No.
492
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,904
Don't you see
what this child is saying?
493
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,406
We can't spend all our energy
placing blame
494
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,783
when something bad happens.
495
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,286
He's saying
we all broke the dam.
496
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,288
No.
I broke the dam.
497
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,124
I broke the dam.
498
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,710
I broke the dam.
499
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,170
I broke the dam.
500
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,713
No, I broke the dam.
501
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,173
And I broke the dam.
502
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,299
I broke the dam.
503
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,468
[ Chuckles ]
I broke the dam.
504
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,595
I broke the dam.
505
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,222
I broke the dam.
506
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,223
I broke the dam.
507
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,517
I ran a boat into the dam,
and I broke it.
508
00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:08,810
I broke the dam.
509
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,894
I broke the dam.
510
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,229
WOMAN:
I broke the dam.
511
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,605
MAN:
I broke the dam.
512
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,983
STAN:
No! I broke the fucking dam!
513
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,442
WOMAN:
I broke the dam.
514
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:17,986
MAN:
I broke the dam.
515
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,862
STAN:
I literally broke the dam!
516
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,155
WOMAN:
I broke the dam.
517
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,782
MAN:
I broke the dam.
518
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,784
STAN:
On a boat that wasn't mine!
519
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,244
MAN: I broke the dam.
520
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,328
MAN:
I broke the dam.
521
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,372
STAN:
I kept it secret for two days!
522
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,748
MAN:
I broke the dam.
523
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,292
WOMAN:
I broke the dam.
524
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,836
STAN: The boat caught on fire,
and it exploded!
525
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,587
MAN:
I broke the dam.
526
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:37,922
MAN:
I broke the dam.
527
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,924
STAN:
Oh fuck it!
528
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:44,470
[ Dramatic music plays ]