1 00:00:00,806 --> 00:00:02,407 male narrator: The American superstore. 2 00:00:03,015 --> 00:00:04,214 One-stop shopping 3 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:07,518 for everything you could ever want or need. 4 00:00:07,553 --> 00:00:09,253 Do you want to be thinner? 5 00:00:09,288 --> 00:00:11,322 Fatter? 6 00:00:11,357 --> 00:00:13,123 Happier? 7 00:00:13,159 --> 00:00:15,059 Sadder? 8 00:00:15,094 --> 00:00:17,561 Are you looking for friendship? 9 00:00:17,596 --> 00:00:19,530 Or solitude? 10 00:00:19,565 --> 00:00:21,498 Or even love? 11 00:00:21,534 --> 00:00:24,068 That's actually a cubic zirconia knockoff. 12 00:00:24,103 --> 00:00:25,502 It's called PlastiClear. 13 00:00:25,538 --> 00:00:26,737 What happened to the $8 ones? 14 00:00:26,772 --> 00:00:28,405 We're all sold outof those, s. 15 00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:30,107 But this one's only $2 more. 16 00:00:30,142 --> 00:00:31,108 I get it. 17 00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:32,376 You advertise the cheap jewelry 18 00:00:32,411 --> 00:00:33,544 to get the suckers in the door, 19 00:00:33,579 --> 00:00:34,979 then you push the expensive stuff. 20 00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:36,580 Well, I wouldn't use the word "suckers," 21 00:00:36,615 --> 00:00:37,982 or "expensive," 22 00:00:38,017 --> 00:00:39,416 or "jewelry." 23 00:00:39,452 --> 00:00:40,951 [sighs] 24 00:00:40,987 --> 00:00:42,186 Fine. 25 00:00:42,221 --> 00:00:43,887 I got to stand in line for cigarettes anyhow. 26 00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:45,089 Great. 27 00:00:45,124 --> 00:00:48,058 I hope you and your fiancée are very happy together... 28 00:00:49,528 --> 00:00:51,362 And that you don't procreate. 29 00:00:51,397 --> 00:00:52,563 Glenn. Huh? 30 00:00:52,598 --> 00:00:54,231 I'm taking a mental-health break. 31 00:00:54,266 --> 00:00:56,934 Okay. Have fun now. 32 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,902 Reflect. 33 00:00:58,938 --> 00:01:02,439 Just checking over your new hire forms. 34 00:01:02,475 --> 00:01:04,274 American citizen. Nice. 35 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,242 [chuckles] 36 00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,310 No dependents. 37 00:01:06,345 --> 00:01:07,811 Me neither, unless you count my birds. 38 00:01:07,847 --> 00:01:09,046 [both laugh] 39 00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:10,914 It just doesn't say anywhere on here 40 00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:13,217 if you've got a girlfriend. 41 00:01:13,252 --> 00:01:14,918 I didn't... is there a space for that? 42 00:01:14,954 --> 00:01:15,986 There's this section here: 43 00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:17,554 "Is there anything else we should know?" 44 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:19,289 Some people like to volunteer it. 45 00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:22,126 Oh. Um... then also no. 46 00:01:22,161 --> 00:01:23,293 - No. - No. 47 00:01:23,329 --> 00:01:26,330 Okay, well, I will just jot that down, then. 48 00:01:26,365 --> 00:01:27,898 But you are heterosexual, right? 49 00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:30,367 Is... are you allowed to ask that? 50 00:01:30,403 --> 00:01:32,002 No. 51 00:01:36,142 --> 00:01:37,274 Smart. 52 00:01:37,309 --> 00:01:39,977 We always keep the best rolls right in the middle. 53 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,245 [sighs] 54 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,047 Oh, wait. No, no, no. Let me help you with that. 55 00:01:43,082 --> 00:01:44,214 Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. 56 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:45,215 It's fine, I work here. 57 00:01:45,251 --> 00:01:46,316 It's, like, my... 58 00:01:46,352 --> 00:01:47,985 it's my job to help customers, so. 59 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,486 You work here? 60 00:01:49,522 --> 00:01:50,554 Since when? 61 00:01:50,589 --> 00:01:51,755 Since right now. 62 00:01:51,791 --> 00:01:53,957 I'm... it's actually my first day. 63 00:01:53,993 --> 00:01:55,225 - Oh. - I know. 64 00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:58,362 I don't seem like the kind of person who would work in a place like this. 65 00:01:58,397 --> 00:01:59,997 [laughs] 66 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,732 Yeah, that's why I was so surprised. 67 00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:03,067 I was like, "What?" 68 00:02:03,102 --> 00:02:04,368 - "What?" - "Him?" 69 00:02:04,403 --> 00:02:06,136 "What's he doing cleaning up toilet paper?" 70 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,038 I think it's because you just... you have this 71 00:02:08,074 --> 00:02:11,241 very intelligent, educated, more cultured quality, 72 00:02:11,277 --> 00:02:12,242 I mean, compared to... 73 00:02:12,278 --> 00:02:14,078 Yeah. Oh, hey. 74 00:02:14,113 --> 00:02:15,746 Look, I get that you're complimenting me, 75 00:02:15,781 --> 00:02:17,414 but it might sound a little condescending, 76 00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:18,415 so, you know... 77 00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:19,483 Oh, yeah, thanks. 78 00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,351 No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending 79 00:02:21,387 --> 00:02:22,820 in front of somebody who works here. 80 00:02:22,855 --> 00:02:23,787 Right. 81 00:02:23,823 --> 00:02:24,788 [laughs] 82 00:02:24,824 --> 00:02:25,989 [moaning] 83 00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:27,891 Hey, can I run out for two minutes? 84 00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:29,193 This thing is kicking my bladder 85 00:02:29,228 --> 00:02:30,461 like it owes him money. 86 00:02:30,496 --> 00:02:32,062 Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge... 87 00:02:32,098 --> 00:02:33,864 Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express. 88 00:02:33,899 --> 00:02:35,933 And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need. 89 00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:37,468 Ah, thanks. 90 00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,806 Little tip: 91 00:02:42,842 --> 00:02:44,508 don't let the other workers here 92 00:02:44,543 --> 00:02:46,376 know how much better than them you are. 93 00:02:46,412 --> 00:02:47,411 They hate that. 94 00:02:47,446 --> 00:02:49,046 I don't know why, maybe because 95 00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,714 it sounds condescending. 96 00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:53,684 Welcome. 97 00:02:56,922 --> 00:02:57,988 I'm... 98 00:03:00,326 --> 00:03:01,992 No, no, no, no! 99 00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:10,400 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 100 00:03:10,436 --> 00:03:11,802 All right, campers, listen up. 101 00:03:11,837 --> 00:03:13,337 I've got an important announcement. 102 00:03:13,372 --> 00:03:16,373 This is your garden variety generic decongestant. 103 00:03:16,408 --> 00:03:18,742 And this is crystal meth, okay? 104 00:03:18,777 --> 00:03:22,146 The tweakers use this to make this. 105 00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:25,082 So stop selling them this, so they can't make this. 106 00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,551 That guy told me he had a really bad cold. 107 00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:29,553 He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne. 108 00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,321 That should have been a red flag, okay? 109 00:03:31,357 --> 00:03:32,289 Use your noggin. 110 00:03:32,324 --> 00:03:34,224 Let's thank Dina 111 00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:35,859 for that helpful tip of the day. 112 00:03:35,895 --> 00:03:36,960 Thank you, Dina. 113 00:03:36,996 --> 00:03:38,262 Am I the only one that thinks it's weird 114 00:03:38,297 --> 00:03:39,897 that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth? 115 00:03:39,932 --> 00:03:41,064 Hey, listen. 116 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,333 I... I think there might have been a misunderstanding. 117 00:03:43,369 --> 00:03:45,369 I'm not an elitist, so... 118 00:03:45,404 --> 00:03:47,871 Oh, elitist? What is that? 119 00:03:47,907 --> 00:03:50,140 Like, a person who thinks their better than... 120 00:03:50,176 --> 00:03:52,409 You know what elitist means. 121 00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:53,710 Oh, yeah. 122 00:03:53,746 --> 00:03:55,679 They learnt that to us in public school. 123 00:03:55,714 --> 00:03:58,382 Anyway, I am so proud 124 00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:03,654 to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family. 125 00:04:03,689 --> 00:04:05,822 Why don't you introduce yourselves? 126 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:07,024 Okay. 127 00:04:07,059 --> 00:04:08,325 Hello, everyone. 128 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,561 I am Jonah. 129 00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:12,729 And I am... I am excited to be here. 130 00:04:12,765 --> 00:04:14,398 This is gonna be fun, so... 131 00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:17,768 My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag, 132 00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:20,170 and I'm here to make something of myself. 133 00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:21,738 ♪ Spread my wings ♪ 134 00:04:21,774 --> 00:04:22,940 Whoo! 135 00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,808 See how far I can fly. 136 00:04:24,843 --> 00:04:27,110 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 137 00:04:27,146 --> 00:04:31,181 Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly. 138 00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:35,219 So... 139 00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:36,553 - Saved it. - Thank you. 140 00:04:36,589 --> 00:04:39,690 Now, I used to end these meetings 141 00:04:39,725 --> 00:04:42,226 with some wisdom from the Good Book. 142 00:04:42,261 --> 00:04:44,361 But then someone reported me to corporate. 143 00:04:44,396 --> 00:04:45,629 Heck yeah, I did. 144 00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:47,931 Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, 145 00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:50,267 my bible is the employee code of conduct. 146 00:04:50,302 --> 00:04:51,635 We all thank you for it. 147 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,103 Yeah, you're welcome. 148 00:04:53,138 --> 00:04:54,104 I pray for you, Dina. 149 00:04:54,139 --> 00:04:55,172 I pray for you, too, Glenn. 150 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,373 No, I'm praying right now. 151 00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:57,674 I'm praying so hard. 152 00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:58,842 I'm praying harder than you. 153 00:04:58,877 --> 00:04:59,843 I know how. 154 00:04:59,878 --> 00:05:02,713 So to welcome our new employees... 155 00:05:02,748 --> 00:05:05,582 ["Jurassic Park" theme plays] 156 00:05:05,618 --> 00:05:06,550 Welcome. 157 00:05:06,585 --> 00:05:08,652 Welcome to Cloud 9. 158 00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,587 This is my jam. 159 00:05:10,623 --> 00:05:13,557 ["Jurassic Park" theme] 160 00:05:13,592 --> 00:05:15,692 ♪ ♪ 161 00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:17,427 Hey, do we have any kind of training? 162 00:05:17,463 --> 00:05:18,428 I've just been wandering 163 00:05:18,464 --> 00:05:19,730 from one department to another, 164 00:05:19,765 --> 00:05:21,465 trying to look like I have purpose. 165 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:24,101 It works better if you carry a box. 166 00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:25,068 There you go. See? 167 00:05:25,104 --> 00:05:26,136 You'll learn as you go. 168 00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:28,438 Look, man, only a couple things to remember: 169 00:05:28,474 --> 00:05:31,008 always show up on time, don't steal, 170 00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:33,010 and stay on the floor supervisor's good side. 171 00:05:33,045 --> 00:05:35,379 The fl... who's the floor supervisor? 172 00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:39,716 [sighs] 173 00:05:39,752 --> 00:05:41,385 I got to go get another box. 174 00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:46,223 Hey, can we... can we start over? 175 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,625 I'm... Jonah, as you know. 176 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:49,993 And you're Ramona. 177 00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:51,595 Nope, that is not my name. 178 00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:53,830 I just don't like random strangers using my name 179 00:05:53,866 --> 00:05:54,865 like we're buddies. 180 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,466 Right, like how hookers 181 00:05:56,502 --> 00:05:58,402 don't like to be kissed on the lips. 182 00:05:58,437 --> 00:06:00,437 Did you just compare me to a hooker? 183 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:02,606 No. 184 00:06:02,641 --> 00:06:03,740 You look bored. 185 00:06:03,776 --> 00:06:04,941 Let me help you with that. 186 00:06:04,977 --> 00:06:07,611 All electronics are supposed to be 25% off, 187 00:06:07,646 --> 00:06:09,146 but our POS system is down. 188 00:06:09,181 --> 00:06:12,649 So you scan, hit "reassign," 189 00:06:12,685 --> 00:06:14,551 "enter," "override, yes," 190 00:06:14,586 --> 00:06:17,220 "reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes." 191 00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:18,355 You are not paying attention. 192 00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:19,356 I'm sorry. Go ahead. 193 00:06:19,391 --> 00:06:21,458 "Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it? 194 00:06:21,493 --> 00:06:22,426 If I guessed your name, 195 00:06:22,461 --> 00:06:23,660 would you tell me if I was right? 196 00:06:23,696 --> 00:06:25,829 [Cheyenne shrieks] 197 00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:27,731 Take this. 198 00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:29,833 Oh, it's so pretty! 199 00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:31,435 I'll make a list. 200 00:06:32,638 --> 00:06:34,304 Oh, excuse me, miss. 201 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:35,372 Do you know the difference 202 00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:37,007 between a stool softener and a laxative? 203 00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:38,241 I'll be right with you, ma'am. 204 00:06:38,277 --> 00:06:39,609 Cheyenne, what's going on? 205 00:06:39,645 --> 00:06:41,945 My boyfriend just asked me to marry him. 206 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,080 I don't want it soft. 207 00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:45,449 I want it out of me. 208 00:06:45,484 --> 00:06:47,351 You know, I hadn't realized earlier 209 00:06:47,386 --> 00:06:49,486 that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to. 210 00:06:49,521 --> 00:06:50,654 Yeah, well, I knocked her up, 211 00:06:50,689 --> 00:06:51,621 so my dad says I have to. 212 00:06:51,657 --> 00:06:52,589 [squeals joyfully] 213 00:06:52,624 --> 00:06:53,790 So romantic. 214 00:06:53,826 --> 00:06:54,958 That's how I do it, yo. 215 00:06:54,993 --> 00:06:56,093 100% love. 216 00:06:56,128 --> 00:06:57,561 Bulking agent? 217 00:06:57,596 --> 00:06:58,829 Why would I want more bulk? 218 00:06:58,864 --> 00:06:59,863 Ugh. 219 00:06:59,898 --> 00:07:03,266 Chey, you didn't say yes, did you? 220 00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:05,202 Why wouldn't I say yes? 221 00:07:05,237 --> 00:07:06,336 Um... 222 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,406 Cheyenne, look at me. 223 00:07:09,441 --> 00:07:12,943 I know how easy it is to get swept up in the... 224 00:07:12,978 --> 00:07:15,345 romance of all of... this. 225 00:07:15,381 --> 00:07:16,980 But... 226 00:07:17,015 --> 00:07:19,516 think it through, okay? 227 00:07:19,551 --> 00:07:21,051 Don't do something you're gonna regret 228 00:07:21,086 --> 00:07:22,586 for the rest of your life. 229 00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:25,655 Yeah, okay. 230 00:07:25,691 --> 00:07:28,024 I'm gonna go sleep on it. 231 00:07:31,997 --> 00:07:35,432 [a-ha's "Take On Me" playing] 232 00:07:36,802 --> 00:07:37,734 Hey. 233 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,202 I think I got it down. 234 00:07:39,238 --> 00:07:41,738 No offense, but you're my competition, 235 00:07:41,774 --> 00:07:44,174 so I'm kind of actually rooting for you to fail. 236 00:07:44,209 --> 00:07:45,509 Okay, thanks. Bye. 237 00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:49,379 [speaking indistinctly] 238 00:07:49,415 --> 00:07:51,314 Hey! 239 00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,550 I figured it out. 240 00:08:00,192 --> 00:08:02,125 We need new shelf flags for the end caps, 241 00:08:02,161 --> 00:08:03,727 but we should check the DCPis first, 242 00:08:03,762 --> 00:08:04,895 because last time... 243 00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:07,330 What is happening? 244 00:08:07,366 --> 00:08:08,965 Could it be a race riot? 245 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,035 It's so hard to tell in the early stages. 246 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:14,070 Could be the rapture, 247 00:08:14,106 --> 00:08:15,806 but then why am I still here? 248 00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:19,476 Hey. 249 00:08:19,511 --> 00:08:21,077 I am killing it over here. 250 00:08:21,113 --> 00:08:23,647 You're only discounting everything 25%, right? 251 00:08:23,682 --> 00:08:26,583 Yeah, "scan, "reassign," "yes," "override," 252 00:08:26,618 --> 00:08:27,584 "yes," "reprice..." 253 00:08:27,619 --> 00:08:29,486 - Reduce. - Huh? 254 00:08:29,521 --> 00:08:30,620 Reduce 0.25. 255 00:08:30,656 --> 00:08:31,988 Reprice 0.25? 256 00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:34,057 That would change everything to 25¢. 257 00:08:34,092 --> 00:08:37,160 [clamoring] 258 00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:42,132 Shut it down! 259 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,234 Shut it all down! 260 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,960 If you sign up for our Heavenly Shoppers program today, 261 00:08:52,995 --> 00:08:54,862 you'll save 15% off your purchase, 262 00:08:54,897 --> 00:08:57,064 which would drop your price to 22¢. 263 00:08:57,099 --> 00:08:58,499 Stop selling everything! 264 00:08:58,534 --> 00:08:59,500 Shut it down! 265 00:08:59,535 --> 00:09:00,534 Shut it all down! 266 00:09:00,569 --> 00:09:01,902 Sir, you need to stay right there. 267 00:09:01,937 --> 00:09:03,504 Frank, nobody leaves! 268 00:09:03,539 --> 00:09:05,639 Ma'am! Ma'am, I'm sorry. 269 00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:07,441 I'm gonna need to recheck some of these items. 270 00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:08,675 No thank you, buh-bye. 271 00:09:08,711 --> 00:09:10,144 I'm sorry, I can't just let you leave 272 00:09:10,179 --> 00:09:11,879 with a whole basket full of 25¢ tech... 273 00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,047 Ow! 274 00:09:13,082 --> 00:09:14,581 I have more where that came from, lady! 275 00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:15,749 Oh, I don't think so! 276 00:09:15,785 --> 00:09:17,084 [both grunting] 277 00:09:17,119 --> 00:09:18,385 Attention, shoppers. 278 00:09:18,421 --> 00:09:20,020 Due to an employee error, 279 00:09:20,056 --> 00:09:21,922 very expensive electronics 280 00:09:21,957 --> 00:09:23,857 are pricing out at 25¢. 281 00:09:23,893 --> 00:09:26,026 This mistake is being corrected, so... 282 00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:27,127 stock up quick! 283 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,395 Go, go, go, go! 284 00:09:28,431 --> 00:09:30,831 What I'm trying to say is, this is not 25¢. 285 00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:32,533 [arguing indistinctly] 286 00:09:32,568 --> 00:09:33,667 Sir, no... 287 00:09:33,702 --> 00:09:34,701 [arguing indistinctly] 288 00:09:34,737 --> 00:09:35,903 No two-five, no. 289 00:09:35,938 --> 00:09:38,705 It touched my car; it's mine! 290 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,674 - That's not a thing. - It is a thing. 291 00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:42,543 I don't want to be "that guy," 292 00:09:42,578 --> 00:09:45,913 but if you had to compare my performance versus Jonah... 293 00:09:45,948 --> 00:09:48,682 Uh, okay. 294 00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,117 Yeah, you better hurry up, girl. 295 00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:51,785 You better get that TV. 296 00:09:51,821 --> 00:09:54,154 Stop, stop! Please, I'm begging you! 297 00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:56,223 She's very... she's... they're very pretty, yep. 298 00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:58,092 Ow! Frank! 299 00:09:58,127 --> 00:09:59,259 Y'all don't want to do this. 300 00:09:59,295 --> 00:10:00,494 Please! 301 00:10:00,529 --> 00:10:01,462 [gunshot] 302 00:10:01,497 --> 00:10:03,831 Sale's over! 303 00:10:03,866 --> 00:10:06,700 There's no need to identify 304 00:10:06,735 --> 00:10:08,669 whoever it is 305 00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:10,771 whose fault this was. 306 00:10:10,806 --> 00:10:12,673 We can all learn a lesson here. 307 00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:14,174 Would that lesson be not letting Jonah 308 00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:15,976 reprice inventory in the future? 309 00:10:16,912 --> 00:10:18,512 It might be, yes. 310 00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:21,048 All right. Punctuality. 311 00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:22,816 I do not tolerate it, 312 00:10:22,852 --> 00:10:25,185 because I do not tolerate it in myself. 313 00:10:25,221 --> 00:10:26,753 I am an angry man, so I get places early... 314 00:10:26,789 --> 00:10:28,522 Hey... 315 00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:31,625 do they allow employees to date supervisors? 316 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,894 I don't know. Why? 317 00:10:33,929 --> 00:10:35,062 Just curious. 318 00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,230 Let's always remember, 319 00:10:36,265 --> 00:10:38,499 the customer is always right. 320 00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:48,308 Hey, what's-your-name, check it out. 321 00:10:49,545 --> 00:10:51,011 Ah. 322 00:10:51,046 --> 00:10:52,546 I was wondering what was taking so long 323 00:10:52,581 --> 00:10:53,914 to stack a few cans. 324 00:10:53,949 --> 00:10:56,383 I just... I wanted to reiterate 325 00:10:56,418 --> 00:10:58,185 how sorry I am about before. 326 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:00,921 And when a customer wants a can of ginger root beer 327 00:11:00,956 --> 00:11:02,756 and the whole thing collapses on top of them, 328 00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:04,658 how are you gonna feel then? 329 00:11:07,096 --> 00:11:08,629 I was just trying to have some fun. 330 00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:10,931 This might be a cultural thing, but around here, 331 00:11:10,966 --> 00:11:13,000 the less screwing everything up you do, the better. 332 00:11:13,035 --> 00:11:14,935 You talking about the cans or the pricing thing? 333 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:16,603 You see, the fact that it's your first day 334 00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,172 and there's already more than one option 335 00:11:18,207 --> 00:11:19,873 of things you screwed up is not a good thing. 336 00:11:19,909 --> 00:11:21,475 Okay, I've made some mistakes. 337 00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:23,010 I can admit that, but that doesn't mean 338 00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:25,078 we can't have a little fun at work, does it? 339 00:11:25,114 --> 00:11:26,580 Or try and find some moments of beauty 340 00:11:26,615 --> 00:11:27,581 in the everyday? 341 00:11:27,616 --> 00:11:29,149 Wait, I'm sorry. 342 00:11:29,185 --> 00:11:31,451 Did you really just use the phrase "moments of beauty," 343 00:11:31,487 --> 00:11:32,920 like, conversationally? 344 00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:35,155 Okay, yes, that's cheesy, but... 345 00:11:35,191 --> 00:11:37,758 Do you remember "American Beauty"? 346 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:40,727 Even a plastic bag can be breathtaking. 347 00:11:46,402 --> 00:11:47,434 Wow. 348 00:11:47,469 --> 00:11:49,403 That really blew my mind. 349 00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:50,404 Like... 350 00:11:50,439 --> 00:11:51,738 [mimics explosion] 351 00:11:51,774 --> 00:11:53,307 I have goose bumps. 352 00:11:53,342 --> 00:11:55,375 I felt something. 353 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:58,645 I'm Jonah. 354 00:11:58,681 --> 00:12:00,214 It's my first day. 355 00:12:02,651 --> 00:12:05,152 [carts crash lightly] 356 00:12:05,187 --> 00:12:07,321 [crashing] 357 00:12:07,356 --> 00:12:09,556 [clattering] 358 00:12:09,592 --> 00:12:12,192 Okay. Stay still. 359 00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:14,161 I don't usually wear eyeliner. 360 00:12:14,196 --> 00:12:15,896 Sharpie occasionally, but... 361 00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:18,999 So tell me about this special guy. 362 00:12:19,034 --> 00:12:20,234 Okay. 363 00:12:20,269 --> 00:12:21,935 Male, Caucasian, 364 00:12:21,971 --> 00:12:25,105 no discernible scars or tattoos. 365 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,274 Sounds dreamy. 366 00:12:27,309 --> 00:12:28,842 Yeah. 367 00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,444 You know, speaking of boys, 368 00:12:30,479 --> 00:12:32,346 I've got a pretty big decision to make. 369 00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:33,847 My boyfriend, he... 370 00:12:33,882 --> 00:12:35,682 I'm glad we could bond like this. 371 00:12:37,019 --> 00:12:38,652 Thank you. 372 00:12:41,156 --> 00:12:42,222 Excuse me, excuse me! 373 00:12:42,258 --> 00:12:43,490 Hi! 374 00:12:43,525 --> 00:12:45,492 I hung up everything that was in the dressing rooms, 375 00:12:45,527 --> 00:12:47,527 and I organized it by style, color, size, 376 00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:49,329 and relevance of designer. 377 00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:51,665 Wow. Good job. 378 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,233 I enjoy hard work. 379 00:12:53,269 --> 00:12:54,568 It's just like my mom always said: 380 00:12:54,603 --> 00:12:57,004 "If you don't work hard, Baby Jesus will cry." 381 00:12:57,039 --> 00:12:58,071 Okay. 382 00:12:58,107 --> 00:12:59,239 I don't think I could be happy 383 00:12:59,275 --> 00:13:00,574 fooling around in the parking lot 384 00:13:00,609 --> 00:13:02,309 like the other new guy. 385 00:13:02,344 --> 00:13:03,777 Slow down! This is not fair! 386 00:13:03,812 --> 00:13:06,146 You have more experience on wheels than I do! 387 00:13:06,181 --> 00:13:08,515 Your disability is not my concern! 388 00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,484 Seriously? 389 00:13:10,519 --> 00:13:13,253 The only thing I asked you to do was put the carts away. 390 00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:14,321 That's what I'm doing, 391 00:13:14,356 --> 00:13:16,923 just somewhat circuitously. 392 00:13:16,959 --> 00:13:18,759 See you later, sucka! 393 00:13:18,794 --> 00:13:20,927 Are you trying to get fired? 394 00:13:20,963 --> 00:13:22,229 What if Glenn sees this? 395 00:13:22,264 --> 00:13:24,331 Coming through! 396 00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:26,133 Move! 397 00:13:26,168 --> 00:13:27,401 That doesn't count. 398 00:13:27,436 --> 00:13:29,303 Go, Glenn! Yeah! 399 00:13:29,338 --> 00:13:31,471 Yeah! Yes! 400 00:13:31,507 --> 00:13:32,973 In your faces! 401 00:13:33,008 --> 00:13:34,274 Your faces! 402 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:35,609 Ha-ha! 403 00:13:35,644 --> 00:13:37,477 Okay. I get it. 404 00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:38,578 You're the fun guy. 405 00:13:38,614 --> 00:13:39,780 I'm the stick in the mud. 406 00:13:39,815 --> 00:13:40,814 Well, I could be fun. 407 00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:42,115 I could have fun; let's have fun. 408 00:13:42,151 --> 00:13:43,216 Of course you can have fun. 409 00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:44,251 Whoo! 410 00:13:44,286 --> 00:13:46,920 We're playing at work. 411 00:13:46,955 --> 00:13:47,921 No brakes! 412 00:13:47,956 --> 00:13:48,922 I have no brakes! 413 00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:50,324 No... ooh! 414 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:58,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 415 00:14:03,629 --> 00:14:05,062 Peace offering. 416 00:14:05,098 --> 00:14:06,397 Are those the flowers 417 00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:08,433 that I picked up off the floor of the garden center? 418 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:09,744 Yes. 419 00:14:11,481 --> 00:14:13,348 They're beautiful trash flowers. 420 00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:17,485 Look, I'm sorry, okay? 421 00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:20,455 I have been having a long day. 422 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,224 Ten years of long days, actually. 423 00:14:26,163 --> 00:14:30,065 You know, I stock these glow stars 424 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:33,001 every single year for the back-to-school sale. 425 00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:34,636 And then I take them down, 426 00:14:34,671 --> 00:14:37,005 and I put up the Halloween inventory, 427 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,740 and then Thanksgiving and Christmas 428 00:14:38,775 --> 00:14:41,309 and Valentine's Day and Easter 429 00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:42,811 and Fourth of July, 430 00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:45,280 and then back-to-school again. 431 00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:46,548 Hmm. 432 00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:49,384 That sounds incredibly not fun. 433 00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:51,486 I see why you love it here. 434 00:14:51,521 --> 00:14:54,089 It's a good job. 435 00:14:54,124 --> 00:14:56,691 But tomorrow is gonna be just like today, 436 00:14:56,727 --> 00:14:57,792 and I know that 437 00:14:57,828 --> 00:15:00,528 because today is just like yesterday. 438 00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:03,932 So... sometimes... 439 00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:06,768 it's just kind of hard to find those moments of beauty. 440 00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:21,116 Attention, shoppers. 441 00:15:21,151 --> 00:15:22,984 Even a big box store has to close, 442 00:15:23,019 --> 00:15:24,552 and it's about that time. 443 00:15:24,588 --> 00:15:27,422 You know, when Pandora closed her famous box, 444 00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:31,059 there was only one thing left inside: hope. 445 00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:34,496 I wonder what will be left inside of this box. 446 00:15:34,531 --> 00:15:37,565 Could it be grace? 447 00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:38,566 I hope not. 448 00:15:38,602 --> 00:15:39,701 If you're Grace's parents, 449 00:15:39,736 --> 00:15:42,637 please pick her up at customer service. 450 00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:44,172 I took the initiative upon myself 451 00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:45,507 to reorganize the toy section 452 00:15:45,542 --> 00:15:47,041 for the convenience of adult shoppers. 453 00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:48,576 It was just feeling overly whimsical. 454 00:15:48,612 --> 00:15:50,545 I want to show you something I've been working on. 455 00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:52,247 Oh. You were working. Where? 456 00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:54,015 Because I've been in every single department, 457 00:15:54,050 --> 00:15:55,550 and I haven't seen you in a couple hours, 458 00:15:55,585 --> 00:15:57,352 unless you were in, like, the break room maybe. 459 00:15:57,387 --> 00:16:00,388 Everybody get down on the ground, now! 460 00:16:00,423 --> 00:16:01,389 [woman screams] 461 00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:03,158 Get down, get down, get down! 462 00:16:03,193 --> 00:16:04,759 Touch the ground! 463 00:16:04,795 --> 00:16:06,494 Or get out! 464 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,329 All right, calm down. 465 00:16:08,365 --> 00:16:10,098 Do what I say, and nobody gets hurt. 466 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,533 This is what I trained for. 467 00:16:11,568 --> 00:16:13,635 Now, I'm gonna start killing somebody every minute, 468 00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:15,770 unless... 469 00:16:15,806 --> 00:16:18,006 unless you agree to marry me, Cheyenne. 470 00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:18,973 Hit it! 471 00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:19,974 Hey, what the [bleep]? 472 00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,810 Oh! 473 00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:24,712 [dramatic pop music playin] 474 00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:29,517 ♪ ♪ 475 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:36,357 ♪ I'll say, "Will you marry me?" ♪ 476 00:16:36,393 --> 00:16:38,593 I had nothing to do with this. 477 00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:40,762 Yeah, I know. 478 00:16:40,797 --> 00:16:42,897 This is the fault of YouTube. 479 00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:48,036 ♪ ♪ 480 00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:50,004 ♪ Heard you want to walk down the aisle ♪ 481 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,206 ♪ You're baby needs a daddy ♪ 482 00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:52,574 ♪ We've been bangin' for a while ♪ 483 00:16:52,609 --> 00:16:54,475 ♪ All right, I pay the consequences of my actions ♪ 484 00:16:54,511 --> 00:16:55,543 ♪ Don't try to change me ♪ 485 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,845 ♪ 'Cause I'm a man of actions ♪ 486 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:57,812 Yo! 487 00:16:57,848 --> 00:16:59,414 What a show. 488 00:16:59,449 --> 00:17:01,316 I'm calling to report a code green in progress. 489 00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:02,283 I repeat, code green. 490 00:17:02,319 --> 00:17:03,384 What's a code green? 491 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:04,886 I faxed you a list of codes last month! 492 00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:06,120 Hostage situation! 493 00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:07,789 You need to get SWAT down here right now! 494 00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:09,591 ♪ When all these people gonna learn ♪ 495 00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:11,025 ♪ We're gonna get burned ♪ 496 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:12,694 ♪ Just waiting for our turn ♪ 497 00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:14,662 Yo, #BlackLivesMatter, y'all. 498 00:17:14,698 --> 00:17:15,997 [makes gunshot noise] 499 00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:17,665 Okay, if you like what you heard and saw, 500 00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:20,301 I'm currently seeking representation in all areas. 501 00:17:20,337 --> 00:17:21,603 Also, I do modeling, 502 00:17:21,638 --> 00:17:23,137 so I'm just throwing that out there. 503 00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:25,240 All right, peace out, St. Louis. 504 00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:26,407 M-m-murr! 505 00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:28,243 - Bo. - What? 506 00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:30,178 Oh, my bad, yo. 507 00:17:30,213 --> 00:17:31,246 [clears throat] 508 00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,250 Cheyenne Tyler Lee, 509 00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:37,185 will you marry me? 510 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,921 Or are you gonna be, like, a dick about it? 511 00:17:39,956 --> 00:17:41,856 Oh, I think he's about to shoot a hostage. 512 00:17:41,892 --> 00:17:43,658 - I'll do what I can. - Don't do anything. 513 00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:50,198 [gentle music] 514 00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,467 What is this? 515 00:17:52,502 --> 00:18:00,308 ♪ ♪ 516 00:18:05,382 --> 00:18:06,748 Moment of beauty? 517 00:18:16,059 --> 00:18:18,326 To Cheyenne. 518 00:18:18,361 --> 00:18:19,494 all: Cheers! 519 00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,763 May your marriage be as sweet and colorful 520 00:18:21,798 --> 00:18:24,499 as this Cloud 9 brand caffeinated malt beverage, 521 00:18:24,534 --> 00:18:26,968 without the recall for killing college students. 522 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:30,138 Thank you, on behalf of myself and Bo. 523 00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:31,339 [indistinct radio chatter] 524 00:18:31,374 --> 00:18:33,308 Well, he did make it memorable. 525 00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:34,642 I'll give him that. 526 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,344 I mean, most guys don't even bother 527 00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,146 threatening to kill you when they propose. 528 00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:39,781 You were never in any real danger. 529 00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:40,882 You know that, right? 530 00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:43,151 Yeah, I know. It was a fake robbery. 531 00:18:43,186 --> 00:18:45,586 This is a high-velocity 440-grain lead 532 00:18:45,622 --> 00:18:47,322 flat-nose projectile with gas checks 533 00:18:47,357 --> 00:18:49,590 and a boxer-primed brass jacket. 534 00:18:49,626 --> 00:18:50,892 If he'd come within 10 feet of you, 535 00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,027 you would have seen his head explode like a watermelon. 536 00:18:53,063 --> 00:18:54,228 [mimics explosion] 537 00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:55,930 Cleanup on aisle... 538 00:18:55,966 --> 00:18:57,231 I don't even know what aisle it is, 539 00:18:57,267 --> 00:18:59,100 'cause his brains would be splattered 540 00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:00,101 all over the sign. 541 00:19:00,136 --> 00:19:02,837 [laughing] 542 00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:04,305 Oh, shoot. 543 00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:07,108 You know, I wish that we could wear jewelry at work. 544 00:19:07,143 --> 00:19:09,277 Oh, it's so... 545 00:19:09,312 --> 00:19:10,912 sparkly. 546 00:19:10,947 --> 00:19:12,714 You know, I thought about what you said 547 00:19:12,749 --> 00:19:15,616 about not doing something that I might regret, 548 00:19:15,652 --> 00:19:20,455 but then, in the moment, you know, under the stars, 549 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,190 it just felt right. 550 00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,192 Without you, I would have never said yes, 551 00:19:24,227 --> 00:19:25,259 so thank you. 552 00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:26,627 Oh. 553 00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:32,066 Well, I should go bail out my boyfriend now. 554 00:19:32,102 --> 00:19:35,370 Or I mean bail out my fiancé! 555 00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:36,637 Aw. 556 00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:38,606 All right. I got to get going. 557 00:19:38,641 --> 00:19:39,640 Good night, everyone. 558 00:19:39,676 --> 00:19:41,609 Good night. 559 00:19:41,644 --> 00:19:43,978 Hey, wait up. 560 00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:45,246 Wait up. 561 00:19:45,281 --> 00:19:47,648 Hey, I didn't mean to... 562 00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:50,818 That, in there... 563 00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:52,220 I just wanted today 564 00:19:52,255 --> 00:19:54,589 to feel different than yesterday. 565 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:56,424 Well, then you completely failed, 566 00:19:56,459 --> 00:19:59,761 because that exact same thing happened yesterday. 567 00:19:59,796 --> 00:20:01,996 [laughs] 568 00:20:02,032 --> 00:20:05,066 But... thank you. 569 00:20:08,104 --> 00:20:09,037 Okay. 570 00:20:09,072 --> 00:20:11,272 I really do have to get going. 571 00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,774 See you at work tomorrow, Jonah? 572 00:20:12,809 --> 00:20:16,110 You certainly will... champ. 573 00:20:16,146 --> 00:20:18,946 [laughs] 574 00:20:18,982 --> 00:20:20,915 Amy. 575 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:24,385 Nice to meet you, Amy. 576 00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:32,396 Yo, you should come with us, man. 577 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,045 We're gonna throw some mannequin limbs in the dumpster 578 00:20:34,046 --> 00:20:35,725 and watch garbage men freak out. 579 00:20:36,605 --> 00:20:38,019 That sounds awesome. 580 00:20:38,141 --> 00:20:40,875 It is awesome. Come on. 581 00:20:55,329 --> 00:20:59,597 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 581 00:21:00,305 --> 00:22:00,674 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org