1
00:00:02,238 --> 00:00:04,204
Previously,
on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:12,024 --> 00:00:13,647
Hello.
3
00:00:13,649 --> 00:00:16,275
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.
4
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,507
May I ask what this is about?
5
00:00:18,509 --> 00:00:19,909
No, you may not.
6
00:00:19,911 --> 00:00:21,944
Very well.
7
00:00:24,082 --> 00:00:25,715
Hi... Colonel Williams.
8
00:00:25,717 --> 00:00:27,083
How can I help you?
9
00:00:27,085 --> 00:00:28,351
O-Okay.
10
00:00:28,353 --> 00:00:31,120
Sure, I can meet with you
on Thursday.
11
00:00:31,122 --> 00:00:32,521
Caltech is fine.
12
00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,991
Yeah, may I ask
what this is about?
13
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,359
(brief chuckle)
14
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I may not?
15
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That's what he said to me.
16
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Look at this.
17
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Elon Musk has a theory
that we're all just characters
18
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in some advanced civilization's
video game.
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So some alien kid spent
his money
20
00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:56,012
on the asthma-and-glasses
upgrade for me?
21
00:00:57,248 --> 00:01:01,017
Well, he doesn't say
it's a good game.
22
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All right, we got a problem.
23
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:04,675
What's up?
24
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The Air Force contacted me
about our quantum gyroscope.
25
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They want to have
a meeting.
26
00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:08,792
Really?
27
00:01:08,793 --> 00:01:10,926
Yeah. This military guy
showed up at Howard's door.
28
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He was terrifying.
29
00:01:12,430 --> 00:01:13,763
Oh, what did he say?
30
00:01:13,765 --> 00:01:15,031
He gave me his business card
31
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:19,035
and asked me to please
pass it along to Howard.
32
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That doesn't sound terrifying.
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To a white guy born here, no.
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If you are a brown guy
whose name has
35
00:01:27,745 --> 00:01:30,713
a lot of syllables in it--
terrifying.
36
00:01:31,453 --> 00:01:34,087
You realize if the military declares our
research classified,
37
00:01:34,089 --> 00:01:36,422
they can take the whole
thing away from us.
38
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WOLOWITZ:
And if that happens,
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we'll never be able
to sell it commercially.
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There goes our big payday.
I was counting
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on that money-- I need
to make as much as my wife
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00:01:42,831 --> 00:01:45,431
so I don't have
to try so hard in bed.
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You do that, too?
44
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Oh, yeah. How do you think
I stay this thin?
45
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Gentlemen, I think we are
losing sight of the real issue.
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We are on the precipice
of becoming faceless cogs
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in the military-industrial
complex.
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Isn't that exciting?
49
00:02:01,349 --> 00:02:02,682
You're kidding, right?
50
00:02:02,684 --> 00:02:05,652
Not at all. In Star Wars,
when the stormtroopers
51
00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:07,754
would march
in perfect formation,
52
00:02:07,756 --> 00:02:10,056
harassing civilians,
didn't you ever think,
53
00:02:10,058 --> 00:02:12,225
"Hey, that could be me"?
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00:02:12,227 --> 00:02:13,893
Sheldon,
we could be contributing
55
00:02:13,895 --> 00:02:16,529
to a weapons system
that oppresses mankind
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00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:19,132
for the next thousand years.
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Okay, Howard's on board.
What do you think, Leonard?
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00:02:22,504 --> 00:02:26,105
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
59
00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:29,442
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
60
00:02:29,444 --> 00:02:31,077
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
61
00:02:31,079 --> 00:02:33,613
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
62
00:02:33,615 --> 00:02:36,282
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
63
00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:38,952
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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00:02:38,954 --> 00:02:40,854
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x02 ♪
The Military Miniaturization
Original Air
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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I'm worried about Howard.
Ever since that guy
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00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,741
from the Air Force showed up,
he's been a nervous wreck.
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00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,743
All right, we work at
a giant pharmaceutical company.
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Get him some anti-anxiety meds.
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He won't take any pills
that aren't chewable
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and shaped like a Flintstone.
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00:03:03,418 --> 00:03:05,785
You know, when Leonard's
feeling anxious
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I make him take a long walk.
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Does that help?
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Well, for a while.
Then he comes back.
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I don't believe this.
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What's wrong?
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This guy from the office
just congratulated me
81
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on being pregnant.
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You did already know, right?
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No one at the office did.
84
00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:24,838
Did you tell
anyone?
85
00:03:24,862 --> 00:03:26,374
No.
You told me not to.
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00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,341
I bet it was Barbara Chen
in retrovirus.
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She might have heard me
throwing up one morning.
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Every since she got
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the hearing aid,
she thinks she's so great.
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Why don't you want
anyone to know?
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'Cause I'm up for a major
immunotherapy study,
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and if they find out
I'm pregnant
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they might give it
to someone else.
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Would they really do that?
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I know they would-- they did it
to Barbara Chen last year
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when I told everyone
she was pregnant.
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00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,967
Wail till I Snapchat that
my friends might be working
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00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:57,703
on a top secret
government project.
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00:03:58,673 --> 00:03:59,872
Are you crazy?
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00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:01,340
You can't put that on Snapchat.
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Fine, I'll put it on Facebook
like a caveman.
102
00:04:07,749 --> 00:04:09,181
You know,
maybe before our meeting
103
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,549
we should talk to a lawyer.
104
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,984
That's not a bad idea.
105
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,086
Well, you must have someone
in your family that's a lawyer.
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00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,688
Why? Because I'm Jewish?
107
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,723
That's like me saying,
"Hey, you're Indian.
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00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,760
Doesn't your cousin work
in a call center?"
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00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,964
My cousin does work
in a call center.
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And my cousin's a lawyer.
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We don't need
Howard's cousin, no.
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We have me.
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You're not a lawyer, Sheldon,
you're just a know-it-all.
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I am not a know-it-all.
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I'm a person
who knows lots of things
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and likes to correct
other people when they're wrong.
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That's the definition
of being a know-it-all.
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Or in German, a Besserwisser.
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How did you think you were
gonna hide your pregnancy?
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I had a plan-- I kept leaving
Dove Bar wrappers around
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to explain any weight gain.
122
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Where did you get
empty Dove Bar wrappers?
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From all the Dove Bars
I ate! I'm pregnant!
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Try to keep up!
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I'm sorry.
I-I have to go find out
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if my boss knows.
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Well, whatever happens,
we're here for you.
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Thanks.
You guys are the best.
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Yeah, drive safe. We love you.
And give us a call...
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00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:20,252
Oh, my God,
it was me, it was me!
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I'm the one who blabbed
she was pregnant!
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What?!
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I didn't mean to.
It just slipped out
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in front of her assistant
one day. I...
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I forgot my coat.
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Oh! Here's your coat, honey.
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That's such a cute jacket.
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Oh...
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God, I feel so bad--
I just lied to her.
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Oh, but you did it so well.
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00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,869
That's amazing!
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It's like watching a sculptor,
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but your clay was lies.
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Is that really
what's important right now?
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I mean, seriously, you have got
to let me scan your brain
146
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:50,549
when you're being dishonest
so I can see what lights up.
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That's super helpful, Amy.
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Thanks a lot.
I can't wait to do that.
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I can see a clump of bitch cells
lightin' up from here.
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Give me a second
to call my cousin.
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00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:06,732
I don't see how a tax lawyer
from Fort Lauderdale
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00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,635
could be helpful regarding
intellectual property.
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00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,437
First of all,
he's in Boca Raton,
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which is better
than Fort Lauderdale.
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But more importantly,
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he lasted two days on Jeopardy,
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so he's clearly a smart guy.
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(Skype ringing)
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00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:24,850
Hello.
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00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,986
Hey, Marty.
Thanks for talking to us.
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Hey, no problem.
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Thanks for going to outer space
so no matter what I do
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00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,791
my mom will be
disappointed in me.
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00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,929
Well, I married a little
Catholic girl, so we're even.
165
00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:39,398
Anyway,
this is Leonard and Sheldon.
166
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,400
The three of us came up
with the guidance system.
167
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,669
- Hi. - Hello.
And this is my friend, Raj.
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Oh, I'm not on the patent.
I'm just here
169
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:48,540
because there's a bumblebee
in my office.
170
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I saw it. It's big.
171
00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:54,446
Anyway,
like I said in the e-mail,
172
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,881
this meeting's on Thursday.
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00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,816
Do you have any advice for us?
174
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,718
Well, I don't know much
about patent law.
175
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,420
But, uh, my advice is:
176
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,056
hear them out, offer as little
information as possible,
177
00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:06,458
and whatever you do,
don't sign anything.
178
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,094
"Don't sign anything"?
That's your advice?
179
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,330
Okay, so, uh, if
during this meeting,
180
00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:14,400
one of us were to, say,
complete an oil painting,
181
00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:18,170
you'd recommend that
we leave that unsigned?
182
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,538
That's not what I meant.
183
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,606
That's what you said.
184
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,373
That's not what I meant.
185
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,442
This must be how
you practice law
186
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,678
in Boca Raton, by saying
things you don't mean
187
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,546
and meaning things
you don't say.
188
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,282
Howard, why is he yelling at me?
189
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,284
All right, you
were on Jeopardy.
190
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:35,921
Allow me to Alex Trebek this and
put it in the form of a question:
191
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:39,391
Who has been a complete
waste of our time?
192
00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,094
Marty, let me call you back.
193
00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:43,996
Someday, when I'm up
on murder charges,
194
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:46,899
you'll be hearing from me.
195
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,068
You don't need him.
I'll represent you.
196
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,340
Hi.
Hey. What brings you by?
197
00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:57,409
Oh, had to go to a sales seminar
on our new sleeping pill.
198
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:58,249
Oh. How was it?
199
00:07:58,273 --> 00:07:59,012
Great.
200
00:07:59,013 --> 00:07:59,811
Fell asleep?
201
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,448
In, like, two minutes. Yeah.
202
00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:04,049
So, how is everything
going around here?
203
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,652
Are you still upset about people
finding out you're pregnant?
204
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,520
I'm furious.
205
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,255
Sure, sure.
206
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,691
Uh, did you ever figure out
who told?
207
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,960
No. I confronted Barbara Chen,
but she claimed
208
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,162
she didn't know
what I was talking about.
209
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,865
Hmm. Well, I guess it's
just gonna remain a mystery,
210
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,967
you know, like whatever happened
in that seminar
211
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,536
after they dimmed the lights.
(laughs)
212
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,105
It had to be Barbara.
213
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:29,108
I've been trying to figure out
a way to get back at her.
214
00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:30,209
Do you think
215
00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:31,910
using her work computer
to Google
216
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:35,214
"how to be a prostitute"
is over the line?
217
00:08:35,216 --> 00:08:36,648
Uh, you know, when I was
218
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,151
in high school, there was this girl
who was talking about me
219
00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:41,053
behind my back, so me
and all my friends,
220
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:44,790
we cornered her in the bathroom
and forgave her.
221
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,160
What kind of revenge is that?
222
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,929
This woman screwed with my job.
She's got to pay.
223
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,866
Okay, all right, honey,
you know what?
224
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:56,969
There was something I was too
scared to tell you yesterday,
225
00:08:56,971 --> 00:09:00,739
a-and now... I'm just balls-out
terrified to tell you, but...
226
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,408
the truth is it...
227
00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:04,777
wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me.
228
00:09:04,779 --> 00:09:06,745
I'm the reason everyone knows.
229
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,480
Why did you do that?
230
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:11,383
Well, it was an accident.
I am so sorry I lied.
231
00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:13,685
Get out.
232
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,523
(sighs)
233
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,694
Oh, you know, I also lied
about the girl in the bathroom.
234
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,830
Yeah, we actually dumped
her retainer in the toilet
235
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,533
and put it back in her mouth.
236
00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:35,040
I don't understand why
I can't talk at this meeting.
237
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,810
'Cause when you talk,
it enrages people.
238
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,546
Okay.
239
00:09:40,548 --> 00:09:41,947
Quick question.
240
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,083
Am I allowed
to exchange pleasantries
241
00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:45,517
upon meeting this colonel?
242
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:46,685
Yes.
243
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,187
Am I allowed to inform him
244
00:09:48,189 --> 00:09:52,057
that Colonel Sanders was never
actually in the military?
245
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,725
I'm getting enraged.
246
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,627
Fine.
247
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,795
Ooh.
248
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,764
Can I use text-to-speech
software?
249
00:09:58,766 --> 00:09:59,403
No!
250
00:09:59,427 --> 00:10:00,300
Don't speak.
251
00:10:00,301 --> 00:10:03,001
MALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Aw, nuts.
252
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,470
MAN:
Gentlemen!
253
00:10:04,472 --> 00:10:06,138
I'm Colonel
Williams.
254
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,606
Thank you for meeting with me.
255
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,675
- Hi.
- Hello.
256
00:10:11,512 --> 00:10:14,980
So, which one of you is
the brains behind all this?
257
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,815
It's a group effort,
258
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:21,053
but I guess if we had to pick
a main brain, it would be me.
259
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,322
(muffled whimper)
260
00:10:32,004 --> 00:10:33,303
(machine whirring dies down)
261
00:10:33,305 --> 00:10:34,904
And because
of the quantum vortices,
262
00:10:34,906 --> 00:10:36,172
this can run perpetually?
263
00:10:36,174 --> 00:10:37,407
Exactly.
264
00:10:37,409 --> 00:10:39,275
Yeah, you have a good
grasp of the physics.
265
00:10:39,277 --> 00:10:41,371
Well, I'm a scientist
by training.
266
00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:42,246
WOLOWITZ:
Really?
267
00:10:42,247 --> 00:10:43,202
You're a physicist?
268
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,010
Better. I'm an engineer.
269
00:10:50,022 --> 00:10:52,722
Where did you go to school?
270
00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:53,556
MIT.
271
00:10:53,558 --> 00:10:55,492
Oh.
Well, hey, me, too.
272
00:10:55,494 --> 00:10:56,593
I should have known.
273
00:10:56,595 --> 00:10:58,728
Behind every great invention
is an MIT mind.
274
00:11:02,134 --> 00:11:04,734
I'll cut to the chase.
275
00:11:04,736 --> 00:11:06,536
The Air Force
believes there's an application
276
00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:08,171
for this technology,
277
00:11:08,173 --> 00:11:10,306
and we're interested
in funding your research.
278
00:11:10,308 --> 00:11:13,243
Well, thanks,
but you should know
279
00:11:13,245 --> 00:11:16,746
we're a little concerned about
this being used in weapons.
280
00:11:16,748 --> 00:11:18,948
Oh, well,
let me put your mind at ease.
281
00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:21,651
What we use it for
is none of your business.
282
00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:26,890
I don't know how
I feel about this.
283
00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:29,259
Look, guys,
it's just a guidance system.
284
00:11:29,261 --> 00:11:30,894
It's not like
you're handing us
285
00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:32,729
the Death Star from Star Trek.
286
00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:39,703
All you need to
worry about is,
287
00:11:39,705 --> 00:11:42,272
right now, it's this big,
288
00:11:42,274 --> 00:11:46,209
and we need it to be...
this big.
289
00:11:46,211 --> 00:11:48,878
That's a
lot less big.
290
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:53,550
Yes, it's...
this much less big.
291
00:11:53,552 --> 00:11:56,019
I'm not even sure
that's possible.
292
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,188
Well, I ran it
by some colleagues at MIT,
293
00:11:58,190 --> 00:12:00,857
and they thought they could
get it done in four months.
294
00:12:00,859 --> 00:12:01,970
Four months?
295
00:12:01,994 --> 00:12:03,861
Yeah, we'll do it
in two! (laughs)
296
00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:05,829
Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
297
00:12:05,831 --> 00:12:07,897
I'm the actual brains
behind this project.
298
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,899
Also, engineers aren't
real scientists,
299
00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:11,434
MIT's a trade school,
300
00:12:11,436 --> 00:12:14,704
and the Death Star is
from Star Wars, not Star Trek!
301
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,840
But otherwise,
302
00:12:16,842 --> 00:12:19,743
thank you for your service.
303
00:12:22,581 --> 00:12:24,080
(knock at door)
304
00:12:24,082 --> 00:12:25,815
Hi.
305
00:12:25,817 --> 00:12:28,852
Howard told me you were working
late, so I brought dinner.
306
00:12:28,854 --> 00:12:31,654
Oh, thanks. You know, I just
wanted to get some work done
307
00:12:31,656 --> 00:12:32,822
without people
congratulating me
308
00:12:32,824 --> 00:12:34,224
about the baby
every five minutes.
309
00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:35,825
I spent my day
alone in the lab
310
00:12:35,827 --> 00:12:38,595
waiting for a rat
to die of anthrax.
311
00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:42,031
Did you come here
to bring me dinner or to gloat?
312
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:45,368
Well, I came to see
how you were feeling,
313
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,337
but I'm guessing
still angry?
314
00:12:47,339 --> 00:12:48,705
I'm sorry.
315
00:12:48,707 --> 00:12:51,107
My boss wants to meet with me,
and I'm stressing.
316
00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:53,676
You really think they're gonna
start treating you differently?
317
00:12:53,678 --> 00:12:55,145
Are you kidding?
318
00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:57,080
I've always been
treated differently!
319
00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:59,115
Look at me!
Listen to me!
320
00:12:59,117 --> 00:13:01,417
I mean, the first thought
when you see me isn't,
321
00:13:01,419 --> 00:13:03,119
"That's a scientist."
322
00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:06,156
It's, "I wonder if her mommy
knows where she is."
323
00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:12,262
I am really regretting
that I got you a Happy Meal.
324
00:13:14,599 --> 00:13:16,699
I've worked so hard
to get where I am,
325
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:19,235
and I don't want
to get sent back to square one
326
00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:20,804
because I'm pregnant.
327
00:13:20,806 --> 00:13:22,338
I understand how you feel.
328
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:23,637
Thank you.
329
00:13:23,661 --> 00:13:24,675
I wish there were
330
00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,709
some way I could make it better.
331
00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:29,145
Well, you brought me
French fries. That's a start.
332
00:13:29,147 --> 00:13:33,817
Uh, actually, I got you apple
slices 'cause you're pregnant.
333
00:13:34,653 --> 00:13:36,653
Apple slices?
334
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:40,123
What kind of lunatic goes
to McDonald's and gets fruit?!
335
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,125
I'll be right back.
336
00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:44,160
And a chocolate shake!
337
00:13:47,699 --> 00:13:50,066
(door opens)
338
00:13:50,068 --> 00:13:51,701
- Hi.
- Hello.
339
00:13:51,703 --> 00:13:53,536
What are you doing?
340
00:13:53,538 --> 00:13:56,806
Oh, Leonard's mad at me,
so I'm making him lemon bars.
341
00:13:56,808 --> 00:14:00,043
Does he even
like lemon bars?
342
00:14:00,045 --> 00:14:02,178
Not really.
343
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:05,448
But I'm mad at him, too,
so lemon bars it is.
344
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:08,151
Something happen
at the meeting?
345
00:14:08,153 --> 00:14:10,486
They made me promise
I wouldn't talk.
346
00:14:10,488 --> 00:14:11,596
And you talked?
347
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,823
Well, now, see?
348
00:14:12,824 --> 00:14:15,124
You knew what was gonna
happen. Why didn't they?
349
00:14:15,126 --> 00:14:17,627
Anyway, now we're committed
to completing this project
350
00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:19,596
in a ridiculously
short time frame,
351
00:14:19,598 --> 00:14:21,231
and everyone's
upset with me.
352
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,199
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
353
00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:24,634
Bernadette's mad at me, too.
354
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:26,736
Mm. If it makes you
feel any better,
355
00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:29,672
a parasitoid wasp known
as Oobius depressus
356
00:14:29,674 --> 00:14:32,108
has been rediscovered
after 101 years
357
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:34,477
of presumed extinction.
358
00:14:35,313 --> 00:14:37,480
Why would that
make me feel better?
359
00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:41,317
Why would your Bernadette
thing make me feel better?
360
00:14:41,319 --> 00:14:42,886
At least mine
was educational.
361
00:14:42,888 --> 00:14:44,921
Okay. Never mind.
362
00:14:44,923 --> 00:14:46,456
Look, I'm sorry.
363
00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:49,058
Tell me why
Bernadette is upset with you.
364
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,861
Well, I told people at work
that she's pregnant.
365
00:14:51,863 --> 00:14:53,930
She wasn't ready
for them to know.
366
00:14:53,932 --> 00:14:55,398
Why would you do that?
367
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,467
Well, it just slipped out.
I feel terrible.
368
00:14:57,469 --> 00:14:59,569
See, that's exactly
what happened to me,
369
00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:02,805
except that I said it on
purpose, and I have no regrets.
370
00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:07,477
Is it even possible
to get this done in two months?
371
00:15:07,479 --> 00:15:09,312
Well, maybe. I don't know.
We'll have to work
372
00:15:09,314 --> 00:15:11,447
12 hours a day,
seven days a week.
373
00:15:11,449 --> 00:15:14,250
Which means I won't be able to
make Penny breakfast every day,
374
00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:15,852
and she'll realize
my brioche French toast
375
00:15:15,854 --> 00:15:18,721
was the only thing
keeping her in the marriage.
376
00:15:18,723 --> 00:15:20,323
I love your
French toast.
377
00:15:20,325 --> 00:15:21,724
Oh, thanks, man.
378
00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:25,795
So, why did you guys
even agree to the deadline?
379
00:15:25,797 --> 00:15:27,363
We didn't. Sheldon did.
380
00:15:27,365 --> 00:15:28,496
And you just let him?
381
00:15:28,497 --> 00:15:31,335
Well, the colonel said it was
for the good of the country,
382
00:15:31,336 --> 00:15:32,468
and the funding
is substantial.
383
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,170
No, but mostly, there
was an awkward pause,
384
00:15:34,172 --> 00:15:37,173
and I broke it
by saying, "Okay."
385
00:15:37,175 --> 00:15:41,311
So I guess I won't be
seeing you guys for a while.
386
00:15:41,313 --> 00:15:42,506
Oh, looks like it.
387
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,480
Wow.
388
00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:46,249
You're going off to work with
the military, leaving me behind.
389
00:15:46,251 --> 00:15:49,419
Now I know how
all those army wives feel.
390
00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:51,821
Would you stop?
391
00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:53,957
We're just gonna be on
the other side of campus.
392
00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:56,592
And right here.
393
00:15:56,594 --> 00:16:00,964
You are a deeply silly man.
394
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:04,667
He is so afraid of his feelings.
395
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:10,965
Oh, hi.
396
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:12,442
Got a minute?
397
00:16:12,444 --> 00:16:14,944
Yeah, come on in.
398
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:18,081
I just wanted to apologize.
399
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:20,483
I know what you did
was an accident.
400
00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:23,653
Oh, thank you,
and I'm sorry I lied about it.
401
00:16:23,655 --> 00:16:25,922
For what it's worth,
you're a great liar.
402
00:16:25,924 --> 00:16:27,991
Oh, that's what Amy said.
403
00:16:27,993 --> 00:16:30,626
So what's going on with
the research project?
404
00:16:30,628 --> 00:16:32,929
Are they gonna
let you run it?
405
00:16:32,931 --> 00:16:35,098
Well, my boss said
he hadn't decided yet,
406
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,967
so I gently reminded him
that he's an old rich white guy,
407
00:16:37,969 --> 00:16:39,635
and I'm a sweet
little pregnant lady
408
00:16:39,637 --> 00:16:42,538
who's not afraid to cry
in front of a jury.
409
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:45,274
You threatened to sue?
410
00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:48,244
Hey, I learned a long time ago,
when you're four feet eleven
411
00:16:48,246 --> 00:16:50,179
and eye level
with every guy's crotch,
412
00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:52,615
that's where you punch.
413
00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:54,350
That's funny.
414
00:16:54,352 --> 00:16:56,786
I learned something
totally different.
415
00:16:57,956 --> 00:16:59,989
Do you know what?
416
00:16:59,991 --> 00:17:01,924
It's just a research project.
417
00:17:01,926 --> 00:17:03,526
The most important job
in the world
418
00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:04,927
is gonna be raising this child.
419
00:17:04,929 --> 00:17:07,063
It's all I need
to give my life meaning.
420
00:17:07,065 --> 00:17:09,165
Oh, that's so beautiful.
421
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,967
You believe me? Oh, good.
422
00:17:10,969 --> 00:17:12,168
11 more chumps like you,
423
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,370
I'll have the jury
eating out of my hand.
424
00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:19,909
I never realized
this building was classified.
425
00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:22,879
Maybe that's because
it's classified.
426
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:27,216
Wish we weren't so far
from my parking space.
427
00:17:27,218 --> 00:17:30,019
The way you put away
those lemon bars,
428
00:17:30,021 --> 00:17:32,021
perhaps that's a good thing.
429
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:35,525
I'd like to reinstate
the you-not-talking rule.
430
00:17:35,527 --> 00:17:38,294
Why? It clearly doesn't work.
431
00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:42,265
I guess this is it. (laughs)
432
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,966
LEONARD:
Is that a retinal scanner?
433
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:45,802
Let's find out.
434
00:17:47,138 --> 00:17:49,498
FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Howard Wolowitz--
access granted.
435
00:17:49,811 --> 00:17:51,074
ALL: No way!
Impressive!
436
00:17:51,076 --> 00:17:52,909
Oh, my turn! My turn!
437
00:17:53,711 --> 00:17:55,812
Leonard Hofstadter--
access granted.
438
00:17:55,814 --> 00:17:58,915
I didn't even have
to take my glasses off!
439
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,320
Access denied.
440
00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:06,522
BOTH:
It knows!
441
00:18:14,517 --> 00:18:16,584
Oh, oh, oh, oh, guys,
hold me upside down!
442
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:27,510
Howard Wolowitz,
access granted.
443
00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:29,277
ALL: Yay!
444
00:18:29,611 --> 00:18:36,411
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man