1
00:00:02,267 --> 00:00:03,533
It's pretty late.
2
00:00:03,535 --> 00:00:05,735
You think I've got time
to run some more simulations
3
00:00:05,737 --> 00:00:06,936
on the cooling system?
4
00:00:06,938 --> 00:00:08,204
Sure, I'm still figuring out
5
00:00:08,206 --> 00:00:09,405
the thermo-acoustic expander.
6
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:10,506
SHELDON:
Oh, while you do that
7
00:00:10,508 --> 00:00:13,843
I am going to pump
cerebral spinal fluid
8
00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:17,046
through my brain cells to remove
the metabolic by-products
9
00:00:17,048 --> 00:00:18,915
of the day's thoughts.
10
00:00:18,917 --> 00:00:20,950
What?
11
00:00:20,952 --> 00:00:22,518
It's called sleep
and it's my bedtime.
12
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,320
Nighty-night, y'all.
13
00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:26,623
Hey, hey, hey,
you're not going anywhere.
14
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:28,858
We only have two months to
deliver this to the Air Force
15
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:29,893
because of you.
16
00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:32,662
(yawning):
I know, I was there.
17
00:00:32,664 --> 00:00:34,163
Well, wake up!
18
00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,266
We're gonna put in
a lot of late nights.
19
00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:37,600
How late?
20
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,837
Well, I don't know,
midnight, 1:00.
21
00:00:40,839 --> 00:00:41,838
One o'clock?
22
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,107
I'm not a raccoon.
23
00:00:44,109 --> 00:00:47,277
If you're tired,
have some coffee.
24
00:00:47,279 --> 00:00:48,745
What?
You have some coffee.
25
00:00:48,747 --> 00:00:50,446
I am having coffee!
26
00:00:50,448 --> 00:00:52,181
And look how irritable
it's making you!
27
00:00:52,183 --> 00:00:54,217
Guys!
28
00:00:54,219 --> 00:00:56,085
We're not gonna get anything
done if we start fighting.
29
00:00:56,087 --> 00:00:58,254
Now, can you please try
to soldier through?
30
00:00:58,256 --> 00:00:59,422
(sighs)
31
00:00:59,424 --> 00:01:00,957
Fine.
32
00:01:02,127 --> 00:01:04,894
(clock ticking)
33
00:01:14,906 --> 00:01:17,840
I don't think
I can go much longer.
34
00:01:17,842 --> 00:01:19,909
It's been three and a half
minutes, wake up!
35
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:25,048
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
36
00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:28,384
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
37
00:01:28,386 --> 00:01:29,986
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
38
00:01:29,988 --> 00:01:32,555
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
39
00:01:32,557 --> 00:01:35,224
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
40
00:01:35,226 --> 00:01:37,894
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
41
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,796
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
42
00:01:39,798 --> 00:01:40,787
♪ Bang! ♪
43
00:01:40,788 --> 00:01:44,788
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x03 ♪
The Dependence Transcendence
Original Air
44
00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:50,189
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
45
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:53,140
SHELDON: I had a bad dream that
my best friend became a tyrant
46
00:01:53,142 --> 00:01:55,476
and forced me to stay
up all night to work.
47
00:01:55,478 --> 00:01:57,745
Oh, I had a good dream that
when I carried you to bed,
48
00:01:57,747 --> 00:02:01,081
I let your head hit
the wall and I laughed.
49
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:02,750
Good morning.
50
00:02:02,752 --> 00:02:03,818
What is this?
51
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:05,286
Well, we didn't see you
last night,
52
00:02:05,288 --> 00:02:06,520
we're not gonna see you today,
53
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,889
so we thought we could have
breakfast together.
54
00:02:08,891 --> 00:02:09,890
Oh, that is so nice.
55
00:02:09,892 --> 00:02:13,227
Ow, it does hurt!
56
00:02:13,229 --> 00:02:15,563
So, what are you guys
gonna do today?
57
00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:16,564
Well, Sheldon was supposed to go
58
00:02:16,566 --> 00:02:18,265
to this party with me
this afternoon,
59
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:19,467
but I don't think
that's happening.
60
00:02:19,469 --> 00:02:21,435
Oh, that was never happening.
61
00:02:21,437 --> 00:02:23,103
Oh, I'll go.
62
00:02:23,105 --> 00:02:24,872
I like a party.
63
00:02:24,874 --> 00:02:26,907
Well, to be honest, it's not
like a "party" party,
64
00:02:26,909 --> 00:02:28,576
it's more like a gathering
65
00:02:28,578 --> 00:02:30,177
where scientists of different
disciplines get together
66
00:02:30,179 --> 00:02:31,645
to share their work
and keep current
67
00:02:31,647 --> 00:02:33,047
on what's going on
in other fields.
68
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:35,416
I don't know why
I called it a party, sorry.
69
00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:37,318
It's okay, I'll still go.
70
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,086
You don't think you'll be bored?
71
00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:40,955
Oh, I'll have some wine
and listen to people go on
72
00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:42,189
about crap I don't understand.
73
00:02:42,191 --> 00:02:43,123
I mean, how is it any different
74
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:45,793
than every
single day of my life?
75
00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:47,962
I won't be there.
76
00:02:47,964 --> 00:02:49,446
Look at that, it is a party.
77
00:02:49,447 --> 00:02:51,047
PENNY:
Oh.
78
00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:54,335
Sorry I have to work
all weekend.
79
00:02:54,337 --> 00:02:55,803
It's okay.
80
00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:58,005
Thanks again for breakfast.
81
00:02:58,007 --> 00:02:59,340
Well, I didn't get to
see you last night.
82
00:02:59,342 --> 00:03:01,709
It was the least I could do.
83
00:03:01,711 --> 00:03:04,411
You shouldn't have made
the alarm code his birthday.
84
00:03:07,183 --> 00:03:09,650
So, what should we do today?
85
00:03:09,652 --> 00:03:11,085
Oh, I appreciate it,
86
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:12,753
but you don't have to
spend your day off with me.
87
00:03:12,755 --> 00:03:14,188
Well, I don't mind.
88
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,490
Oh, you want go to the mall
and look at baby stuff?
89
00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:17,691
Not really.
90
00:03:17,693 --> 00:03:19,159
Oh, come on,
we could share a pretzel
91
00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:23,364
and get sideways glances
from racist old ladies.
92
00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:25,599
I get enough of that
when I take Howard
93
00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:27,468
to my grandmother's
for Christmas.
94
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:29,570
Oh,
95
00:03:29,572 --> 00:03:32,606
I know, why don't we get started
on clearing out the baby's room?
96
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:34,008
Isn't it
a little early for that?
97
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,843
You have to
get to it eventually.
98
00:03:35,845 --> 00:03:38,579
Oh, there's so much junk
in there, it's embarrassing.
99
00:03:38,581 --> 00:03:40,781
How can you be
embarrassed around me?
100
00:03:40,783 --> 00:03:43,017
I'm gonna be in the room
with you when you give birth.
101
00:03:50,059 --> 00:03:52,126
I don't think you are.
102
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:54,461
You didn't think I was gonna be
in your kitchen this morning,
103
00:03:54,463 --> 00:03:56,931
yet here I am.
104
00:04:03,139 --> 00:04:05,005
MAN:
Psst, hey, kid.
105
00:04:05,007 --> 00:04:06,206
Huh, what?
106
00:04:08,945 --> 00:04:10,744
You look tired.
107
00:04:10,746 --> 00:04:12,680
Why don't you have
an energy drink?
108
00:04:12,682 --> 00:04:14,715
Everyone's doing it.
109
00:04:14,717 --> 00:04:18,953
Oh, no, thank you,
those have caffeine in them.
110
00:04:18,955 --> 00:04:20,187
Oh, sorry,
111
00:04:20,189 --> 00:04:22,122
I thought you were cool.
112
00:04:23,826 --> 00:04:25,192
I am cool.
113
00:04:25,194 --> 00:04:26,860
This is Yoo-hoo,
114
00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:29,697
chocolate milk's
delicious watery cousin.
115
00:04:29,699 --> 00:04:31,198
All right.
116
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,101
But if you ever want to feel
like you have superpowers,
117
00:04:34,103 --> 00:04:35,903
try one of these.
118
00:04:35,905 --> 00:04:39,073
Superheroes take
performance-enhancing chemicals?
119
00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,207
You bet.
120
00:04:40,209 --> 00:04:42,810
You know why Hulk
is so strong?
121
00:04:42,812 --> 00:04:44,311
Steroids.
122
00:04:45,615 --> 00:04:48,415
You know why Batman
wanders around at night
123
00:04:48,417 --> 00:04:50,618
getting into fights?
124
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,919
Scotch.
125
00:04:54,457 --> 00:04:57,391
I am facing
a great deal of work.
126
00:04:57,393 --> 00:05:01,695
And I do like things better when
famous people also like them.
127
00:05:01,697 --> 00:05:03,831
Here.
128
00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:04,965
It's on the house.
129
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:08,936
The first one's free?
130
00:05:08,938 --> 00:05:11,538
Flash, how do you
stay in business?
131
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:13,941
You want to know my secret?
132
00:05:13,943 --> 00:05:16,577
I bought stock in Marvel.
133
00:05:19,215 --> 00:05:20,314
Hi, Bert.
134
00:05:20,316 --> 00:05:21,415
This is my friend, Penny.
135
00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:22,022
Hi.
136
00:05:22,047 --> 00:05:23,019
Hey, come on in.
137
00:05:23,019 --> 00:05:24,819
I'll gonna go turn on
some rock music.
138
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:25,720
(Amy chuckles)
139
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:28,122
That's a geology joke.
140
00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:29,556
Bert's a geologist.
141
00:05:29,558 --> 00:05:31,692
And a joker.
142
00:05:33,929 --> 00:05:35,696
How early are we?
143
00:05:35,698 --> 00:05:38,632
Oh, actually,
we're an hour late.
144
00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:41,769
I suddenly wish
Sheldon was here.
145
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,075
I don't even
know where to begin.
146
00:05:48,077 --> 00:05:51,011
Well, in The Sound of Music,
Julie Andrews says,
147
00:05:51,013 --> 00:05:52,579
"Let's start at
the very beginning.
148
00:05:52,581 --> 00:05:54,882
A very good place to start."
149
00:05:54,884 --> 00:05:57,651
Oh, I was gonna start
at the end.
150
00:05:57,653 --> 00:05:59,153
Thank God you're here.
151
00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:04,725
Well, I think the first thing we
should get rid of is that tone.
152
00:06:04,727 --> 00:06:07,861
Sorry.
153
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,196
I should probably keep this
154
00:06:09,198 --> 00:06:10,531
in case we have a girl.
155
00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:11,665
Oh, that's a nice one.
156
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,100
Was it yours when
you were little?
157
00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:14,501
My dad built it for me.
158
00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:16,003
Wow, it's so cute.
159
00:06:16,005 --> 00:06:19,006
This was the husband
and this was the wife.
160
00:06:19,008 --> 00:06:20,607
They'd go out on
adventures together.
161
00:06:20,609 --> 00:06:22,142
Cruises, skiing,
162
00:06:22,144 --> 00:06:23,377
horseback riding.
163
00:06:23,379 --> 00:06:27,081
That was really me just
duct taping them to our dog.
164
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:28,649
Oh, and did they have kids?
165
00:06:28,651 --> 00:06:31,085
They did, but the mommy
and daddy didn't like them,
166
00:06:31,087 --> 00:06:32,486
so they shipped them off
to an orphanage
167
00:06:32,488 --> 00:06:34,888
I made out of a shoebox.
168
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:38,759
Yeah, that's not worrisome
at all.
169
00:06:38,761 --> 00:06:42,162
Not every girl dreams
about being a mom.
170
00:06:42,164 --> 00:06:44,998
Sometimes you think
you're never gonna have kids
171
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,967
and one day you wake up
and you're pregnant.
172
00:06:46,969 --> 00:06:48,769
And it doesn't matter that your
career's going great right now
173
00:06:48,771 --> 00:06:50,871
and that you and your husband
never even got to go anywhere
174
00:06:50,873 --> 00:06:53,974
taped to a dog!
175
00:06:53,976 --> 00:06:56,844
I skipped spin class for this.
176
00:06:59,849 --> 00:07:02,916
Why is it taking him so long
177
00:07:02,918 --> 00:07:04,952
to get a drink out
of a vending machine?
178
00:07:04,954 --> 00:07:06,687
Oh, it's complicated.
179
00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:08,088
He finds pushing
that little door
180
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:11,291
and reaching up into the machine
uncomfortably intimate.
181
00:07:11,293 --> 00:07:13,293
(door opens)
182
00:07:13,295 --> 00:07:15,362
Gentlemen, I am ready to work.
183
00:07:15,364 --> 00:07:18,132
To quote The Martian, "Let's
science the feces out of this!"
184
00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:19,900
That's The Martian the book
185
00:07:19,902 --> 00:07:21,602
and The Martian the movie,
not Marvin the Martian.
186
00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:22,903
Although to quote
Marvin the Martian,
187
00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:24,171
(as Marvin the Martian):
"I claim this planet
188
00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:25,572
in the name of Mars."
189
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:28,509
Are you okay?
190
00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:30,177
Oh, I'm fantastic,
never been better.
191
00:07:30,179 --> 00:07:31,545
I had my first energy drink
192
00:07:31,547 --> 00:07:32,980
and I feel great.
193
00:07:32,982 --> 00:07:33,914
Hey, you guys want to wrestle?
194
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,649
We can do arm,
thumb, mud, sumo.
195
00:07:35,651 --> 00:07:38,218
Nah, we're not fat enough,
or wearing diapers.
196
00:07:41,223 --> 00:07:42,489
You wanted him awake.
197
00:07:51,443 --> 00:07:54,611
(rock music playing)
198
00:07:54,613 --> 00:07:59,382
So should we talk
to each other or mingle?
199
00:07:59,384 --> 00:08:01,251
I don't know where everyone is.
200
00:08:01,253 --> 00:08:02,285
Yeah, I mean,
201
00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:04,554
I could see him eating
one or two guests,
202
00:08:04,556 --> 00:08:07,357
but not a whole party.
203
00:08:07,359 --> 00:08:09,592
Well, I guess this is
kind of a bust.
204
00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,327
You don't have to stay.
205
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:13,563
I'm gonna start cleaning up.
206
00:08:13,565 --> 00:08:14,898
Okay.
207
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:16,966
I feel so bad about
leaving him here.
208
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:20,603
Oh, it's funny, I was just thinking
the same thing about you.
209
00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:21,671
BERT:
Hey, listen,
210
00:08:21,673 --> 00:08:23,973
could you not
say anything about this
211
00:08:23,975 --> 00:08:25,708
to the people at the university?
212
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,444
You know, 'cause...
213
00:08:27,446 --> 00:08:30,613
you're you and I'm me,
and it's kind of embarrassing.
214
00:08:30,615 --> 00:08:32,916
Wait, what do you mean
"she's her"?
215
00:08:32,918 --> 00:08:35,819
Well, you know how Amy's the
coolest girl on campus, right?
216
00:08:35,821 --> 00:08:37,554
No.
No.
217
00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,622
Oh yeah, everybody thinks so.
218
00:08:39,624 --> 00:08:41,091
What?
219
00:08:41,093 --> 00:08:45,995
You tell me about your foot
fungus, but this is a secret?
220
00:08:45,997 --> 00:08:48,298
I'm sure it's just
'cause I'm dating Sheldon.
221
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:51,935
Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's
popular because he's dating you.
222
00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:55,672
Now Sheldon's popular?
223
00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:58,274
What is happening?
224
00:08:59,478 --> 00:09:01,311
(groans)
225
00:09:01,313 --> 00:09:03,079
Maybe we should break for lunch.
226
00:09:03,081 --> 00:09:04,080
What time is it?
227
00:09:04,082 --> 00:09:07,750
(moans twice)
228
00:09:07,752 --> 00:09:10,920
According to the world's worst
cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.
229
00:09:10,922 --> 00:09:13,289
My head hurts
230
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,425
and I'm more tired than ever.
231
00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:16,860
Why don't you just go home?
232
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:18,461
No, I can do this.
233
00:09:18,463 --> 00:09:22,031
I just, I just need
another energy drink.
234
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:23,867
Oh, no.
235
00:09:23,869 --> 00:09:25,101
What?
236
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:26,603
I want another one.
237
00:09:26,605 --> 00:09:27,604
So?
238
00:09:27,606 --> 00:09:29,372
That's a craving.
239
00:09:29,374 --> 00:09:32,408
That's a sign of
chemical dependency.
240
00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:33,943
You only had one.
241
00:09:33,945 --> 00:09:35,078
No, I know,
242
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,346
but plenty of
things are addictive
243
00:09:36,348 --> 00:09:38,014
after a single exposure.
244
00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:42,018
I mean, crack cocaine,
nicotine, Pringles.
245
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:44,988
You know once one pops
one just can't stop.
246
00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:47,557
You can't develop
a problem that fast.
247
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:48,791
You want to bet?
Oh, great,
248
00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:50,126
now I'm addicted to gambling.
249
00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:57,634
We can't afford to lose
any more time.
250
00:09:57,636 --> 00:10:00,303
Well, this probably won't
work, but has anyone ever tried
251
00:10:00,305 --> 00:10:04,240
to just haul off and
whoop the crazy out of him?
252
00:10:04,242 --> 00:10:07,110
That's not helpful.
253
00:10:07,112 --> 00:10:09,712
It's fun to think about,
but it's not helpful.
254
00:10:10,916 --> 00:10:14,184
Hey, Sheldon, we are on
a serious time crunch.
255
00:10:14,186 --> 00:10:15,752
We can't do this
without you.
256
00:10:15,754 --> 00:10:17,253
Can you please
pull it together?
257
00:10:17,255 --> 00:10:19,322
I'm sorry.
Yes, of course.
258
00:10:19,324 --> 00:10:21,357
Thank you.
259
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:24,494
Just, please, bear with me
if I display symptoms
260
00:10:24,496 --> 00:10:26,429
of caffeine withdrawal.
261
00:10:26,431 --> 00:10:28,731
No worries.
262
00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,521
You guys stink.
263
00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:54,691
Sorry I flipped out on you.
264
00:10:54,693 --> 00:10:56,392
I think it's just hormones.
265
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,894
I think you were mean
before you were pregnant,
266
00:10:57,896 --> 00:10:59,028
but it's fine.
267
00:11:00,732 --> 00:11:03,600
So, uh, instead of
cleaning out the room,
268
00:11:03,602 --> 00:11:06,002
why don't we just decide
on a theme for the nursery?
269
00:11:06,004 --> 00:11:07,470
Does it really need one?
270
00:11:07,472 --> 00:11:09,038
Of course it does.
271
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,007
Didn't your baby room
have a theme?
272
00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:13,042
Well, it doubled
as my dad's office,
273
00:11:13,044 --> 00:11:14,911
and he was a cop,
so I guess the theme was
274
00:11:14,913 --> 00:11:17,447
bloody homicide photos.
275
00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:21,517
Oh. Mine was
Winnie the Pooh.
276
00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:24,454
But anyway...
277
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:26,689
why don't we just
take a step back
278
00:11:26,691 --> 00:11:27,857
and start with a color?
279
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:29,525
Right? There are
so many amazing ones.
280
00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:32,495
Red, blue, green, purple...
281
00:11:32,497 --> 00:11:34,130
Are you just gonna name
all the colors?
282
00:11:34,132 --> 00:11:37,300
Well, not now.
283
00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:40,536
I don't care what color
the room is.
284
00:11:40,538 --> 00:11:42,538
Okay, well, I'm just
trying to help you.
285
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:44,674
Well, you're not,
so just drop it!
286
00:11:48,013 --> 00:11:50,513
I'm clearly upset.
Why aren't you following me?
287
00:11:50,515 --> 00:11:53,716
Sorry! Sorry!
288
00:11:54,819 --> 00:11:57,620
And when Amy started using
a solution of chromic acid
289
00:11:57,622 --> 00:12:00,590
and white vinegar to clean
all her lab equipment,
290
00:12:00,592 --> 00:12:04,260
all of a sudden,
everybody was doing it.
291
00:12:05,397 --> 00:12:07,397
You trend setter!
292
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:10,700
Just the right idea
at the right time.
293
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:13,202
Okay, okay, so Amy's cool,
Sheldon's cool.
294
00:12:13,204 --> 00:12:15,405
Tell me about Leonard.
Who?
295
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,875
Leonard Hofstadter.
296
00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:22,011
Oh, him.
I guess he's all right.
297
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:24,514
Apparently he tricked some
hot girl into marrying him.
298
00:12:26,184 --> 00:12:28,551
That's me, I'm her.
299
00:12:28,553 --> 00:12:29,719
You know, he
didn't trick me.
300
00:12:29,721 --> 00:12:31,988
He just wore me down.
301
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:34,757
It makes sense
you two are friends.
302
00:12:34,759 --> 00:12:36,859
I mean, hot girls
always stick together.
303
00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:41,030
And you thought this
wasn't gonna be
304
00:12:41,032 --> 00:12:43,466
a great party.
305
00:12:43,468 --> 00:12:44,767
You know, I had no idea
306
00:12:44,769 --> 00:12:47,737
Caltech is exactly
like my high school.
307
00:12:47,739 --> 00:12:49,706
Well, it's not
exactly like it.
308
00:12:49,708 --> 00:12:52,709
We're all
extremely smart.
309
00:12:52,711 --> 00:12:55,978
Wow... you popular
girls are mean.
310
00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:01,751
I'm gonna get some coffee.
You want some?
311
00:13:01,753 --> 00:13:04,454
Uh, you're really going to
have caffeine in front of me
312
00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,656
when I'm trying to get
my life back on track?
313
00:13:08,259 --> 00:13:10,960
Uh, okay, let's pretend
you do have a problem.
314
00:13:10,962 --> 00:13:11,961
I do.
You don't.
315
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:14,731
Yeah, but I do.
No, you don't!
316
00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:15,965
But let's say you do.
317
00:13:15,967 --> 00:13:17,633
And don't say you do,
because you don't!
318
00:13:19,304 --> 00:13:21,904
Now, wouldn't you think
that throwing yourself
319
00:13:21,906 --> 00:13:24,273
into your work would be
the best way to deal with it?
320
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:26,609
With what?
Your problem.
321
00:13:26,611 --> 00:13:28,578
I thought I didn't have
a problem.
322
00:13:33,651 --> 00:13:35,585
That was painful
to watch.
323
00:13:40,058 --> 00:13:41,257
So where are we going?
324
00:13:41,259 --> 00:13:42,692
I don't know.
325
00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:43,793
Okay.
326
00:13:43,795 --> 00:13:47,463
How Thelma and Louise of us.
327
00:13:47,465 --> 00:13:50,700
Raj, why don't I care
about anything?
328
00:13:50,702 --> 00:13:51,701
I'm sorry?
329
00:13:51,703 --> 00:13:53,536
It's my baby.
330
00:13:53,538 --> 00:13:56,038
I-I should care about
nurseries and colors,
331
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,174
and I don't--
what's wrong with me?
332
00:13:58,176 --> 00:14:02,645
Well, crime-scene photos
near your crib spring to mind.
333
00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:04,847
I keep waiting
to feel excited,
334
00:14:04,849 --> 00:14:06,182
but it's not happening.
335
00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:09,585
What if it
never happens?
336
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,654
Bernadette,
come on, look,
337
00:14:11,656 --> 00:14:13,956
you're overthinking this,
okay?
338
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:16,159
You're gonna be
an amazing mom.
339
00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:17,393
Even if you don't
believe it,
340
00:14:17,395 --> 00:14:19,729
I know you have
maternal instincts.
341
00:14:19,731 --> 00:14:22,231
Once, I was supposed
to babysit my brothers.
342
00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,133
Our neighbor found them
naked in the backyard
343
00:14:24,135 --> 00:14:25,701
eating crickets.
344
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,005
Happy and well-fed.
345
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:31,073
You see, that's what
I'm taking from that story.
346
00:14:36,314 --> 00:14:38,147
Leonard, can I ask you
a question?
347
00:14:38,149 --> 00:14:39,649
Is it about the
rotational symmetries
348
00:14:39,651 --> 00:14:40,817
you should be
figuring out
349
00:14:40,819 --> 00:14:42,418
or your fake
caffeine problem?
350
00:14:44,522 --> 00:14:47,623
Howard, can I ask you
a question?
351
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,525
No.
352
00:14:50,662 --> 00:14:52,161
All right, I'll just
toss this out to the room.
353
00:14:52,163 --> 00:14:54,464
Um, I was thinking
that the best way
354
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:56,199
to fight my addiction is by
355
00:14:56,201 --> 00:14:58,067
weaning myself off in steps.
356
00:14:58,069 --> 00:15:00,136
Now, I couldn't find
a caffeine patch,
357
00:15:00,138 --> 00:15:02,538
but I did find
what claims to be
358
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:05,608
a mind-boosting
caffeine suppository.
359
00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:07,743
Yeah.
360
00:15:07,745 --> 00:15:09,779
You know, the interesting fact
about the rectum...
361
00:15:09,781 --> 00:15:11,414
Sheldon!
362
00:15:12,684 --> 00:15:15,084
We are dealing with
an impossible deadline
363
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:16,652
from the Air Force
because of you.
364
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:19,522
So have an energy drink,
don't have an energy drink.
365
00:15:19,524 --> 00:15:20,857
Order suppositories
and shove 'em
366
00:15:20,859 --> 00:15:23,392
wherever you want,
I don't care!
367
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,329
You don't shove them.
368
00:15:26,331 --> 00:15:28,130
They come with an
easy-glide applicator.
369
00:15:30,902 --> 00:15:33,503
Right.
Listen to me.
370
00:15:33,505 --> 00:15:35,605
We can't do anything
until you do your part.
371
00:15:35,607 --> 00:15:38,174
So get up in front of
this whiteboard and do it!
372
00:15:38,176 --> 00:15:40,409
I can't.
Yes, you can.
373
00:15:40,411 --> 00:15:42,211
No...
374
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:44,380
I can't figure out
the math.
375
00:15:44,382 --> 00:15:45,948
I've been racking
my brain for days,
376
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:48,918
and I've got nothing.
377
00:15:49,988 --> 00:15:51,020
Seriously?
378
00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:52,622
I can't do it.
379
00:15:52,624 --> 00:15:54,724
I'm not as smart
as I think I am.
380
00:15:54,726 --> 00:15:58,261
I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.
381
00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:03,733
It's okay, we'll
figure something out.
382
00:16:03,735 --> 00:16:06,536
But what if we can't?
383
00:16:06,538 --> 00:16:09,906
It'll be fine.
You'll see.
384
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,246
Sheldon?
385
00:16:19,183 --> 00:16:21,951
Buddy?
386
00:16:21,953 --> 00:16:24,153
(snoring)
387
00:16:26,991 --> 00:16:28,424
When the baby gets here,
388
00:16:28,426 --> 00:16:31,060
you gotta teach me that.
389
00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:36,832
Thank you so much, Bert.
This was great.
390
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,134
My pleasure.
391
00:16:38,136 --> 00:16:39,335
You girls want
to take home
392
00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:41,737
a two-gallon tub
of potato salad?
393
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:45,741
I think we're good.
394
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,543
Okay, well,
thanks for coming by.
395
00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:48,611
You're nice people.
396
00:16:48,613 --> 00:16:51,280
Well, so are you.
In fact, you know what?
397
00:16:51,282 --> 00:16:54,617
We will never
take you for granite.
398
00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:57,720
Did you get that?
Granite?
399
00:16:57,722 --> 00:17:00,590
A little geology joke.
400
00:17:00,592 --> 00:17:01,991
You need to leave.
401
00:17:01,993 --> 00:17:03,326
I'm in love
with both of you now.
402
00:17:03,328 --> 00:17:05,127
Okay.
Bye.
403
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:10,232
Uh, pull over.
404
00:17:10,234 --> 00:17:11,968
What? Why?
Who are you calling?
405
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:14,170
You're gonna rat me out
to Howard, aren't you?
406
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:17,506
You're such a snitch,
no wonder I don't like you.
407
00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:21,744
Whoa, I'm calling
my dad, okay?
408
00:17:21,746 --> 00:17:23,980
He's got experience
dealing with pregnant ladies
409
00:17:23,982 --> 00:17:25,381
because he's an OBGYN.
410
00:17:25,383 --> 00:17:27,116
And experience
with crazy ladies
411
00:17:27,118 --> 00:17:28,451
because of my mom.
412
00:17:28,453 --> 00:17:30,753
(Facetime ringing)
413
00:17:30,755 --> 00:17:32,355
Hello, Rajesh.
414
00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:33,756
Are you calling
to ask for money?
415
00:17:33,758 --> 00:17:34,690
What? No.
416
00:17:34,692 --> 00:17:35,825
Are you calling to ask
for things
417
00:17:35,827 --> 00:17:37,893
that cost money?
No.
418
00:17:37,895 --> 00:17:39,862
Great. What's up?
419
00:17:39,864 --> 00:17:42,398
This is my friend,
Bernadette.
420
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,600
She's pregnant,
and she's a bit worried,
421
00:17:44,602 --> 00:17:46,202
so I thought maybe
you could talk to her.
422
00:17:46,204 --> 00:17:48,771
Of course.
What seems to be the trouble?
423
00:17:48,773 --> 00:17:49,905
Something's wrong.
424
00:17:49,907 --> 00:17:52,208
I don't care about
any of the baby stuff
425
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,610
every other mom is so into.
426
00:17:54,612 --> 00:17:57,980
Honestly, I'm not even sure
I like babies.
427
00:17:57,982 --> 00:17:59,982
Look, some people are
baby people,
428
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:02,051
and some people
are not baby people.
429
00:18:02,053 --> 00:18:04,387
It doesn't mean you won't
love your own baby.
430
00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:07,089
But I thought I'd be
more excited.
431
00:18:07,091 --> 00:18:10,893
Oh, being excited
isn't a guarantee of anything.
432
00:18:10,895 --> 00:18:13,896
Rajesh's mother was thrilled
when she was pregnant with him.
433
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:17,333
After he was born, she doted
on his every move.
434
00:18:17,335 --> 00:18:18,601
And you know what happened?
435
00:18:18,603 --> 00:18:20,803
He broke her heart,
moved halfway around the world,
436
00:18:20,805 --> 00:18:22,772
and dates only
poor white women.
437
00:18:25,643 --> 00:18:27,576
So you never know.
438
00:18:27,578 --> 00:18:30,513
Thank you.
I feel better now.
439
00:18:30,515 --> 00:18:32,615
I don't!
FATHER: Good.
440
00:18:32,617 --> 00:18:35,418
Bernadette, I hope
you have a daughter.
441
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:47,580
Um, I don't really know
how to say this.
442
00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:49,249
Well, you could try
starting with "sir".
443
00:18:49,251 --> 00:18:51,251
Right. Sorry, sir.
444
00:18:51,253 --> 00:18:53,920
He said start with it,
not end with it.
445
00:18:55,524 --> 00:18:56,994
- Sir...
- Hmm?
446
00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:58,694
We've hit a bit
of a snag.
447
00:18:58,696 --> 00:19:00,630
We're already behind schedule.
448
00:19:01,633 --> 00:19:03,799
The computations required
to overcome
449
00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:05,201
the deployability issues
450
00:19:05,203 --> 00:19:07,537
are more significant
than we thought.
451
00:19:07,539 --> 00:19:09,572
I understand that
we're under contract,
452
00:19:09,574 --> 00:19:11,174
and I don't know what
the consequences
453
00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:13,242
of violating that are,
but, uh...
454
00:19:13,244 --> 00:19:15,745
we're not gonna
be able to deliver
455
00:19:15,747 --> 00:19:17,313
in the time we promised.
456
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,816
(sighs)
457
00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:25,721
How long do you need?
458
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:27,123
(Wolowitz clears throat)
459
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:30,927
We-We're thinking...
two years.
460
00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:34,897
All right.
461
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,000
(chuckles)
That's it?
462
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,402
You're okay with that?
463
00:19:39,404 --> 00:19:41,871
(scoffs) You think you're
the first government contractor
464
00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:44,106
who isn't gonna deliver
on time?
465
00:19:44,108 --> 00:19:45,775
We're still waiting
for a big space laser
466
00:19:45,777 --> 00:19:48,578
Reagan ordered
to beat the commies.
467
00:19:50,215 --> 00:19:51,647
Thanks for understanding,
sir.
468
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,349
Yes, thank you
so much.
469
00:19:53,351 --> 00:19:55,618
We-We really
appreciate it.
470
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,054
LEONARD: All right,
pressure's off
471
00:19:58,056 --> 00:19:59,222
WOLOWITZ (sighs):
Wanna see a movie?
472
00:19:59,224 --> 00:20:01,057
SHELDON:
Popcorn's on me.
473
00:20:01,549 --> 00:20:08,349
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man