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00:00:00,541 --> 00:00:01,982
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,186 --> 00:00:04,332
Cohabitation with my girlfriend?
3
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:06,224
That's a great deal
to process.
4
00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:06,768
Hmm?
5
00:00:06,769 --> 00:00:08,369
It's only for five weeks.
6
00:00:08,371 --> 00:00:09,670
Let me appeal
to the scientist in you.
7
00:00:09,672 --> 00:00:11,705
Given the five-week
end date,
8
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,675
isn't it the perfect opportunity
to consider this an experiment
9
00:00:14,677 --> 00:00:16,744
and collect data
on our compatibility?
10
00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:19,847
Don't try luring me
in with sexy talk.
11
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LEONARD:
Okay.
12
00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:22,983
Star Trek: The Original Series.
13
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The Enterprise was
on a five-year mission
14
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to explore new worlds.
15
00:00:25,988 --> 00:00:27,187
Think of this
as your personal
16
00:00:27,189 --> 00:00:29,590
five-week mission
to do the same.
17
00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:34,061
Oh, you want to lure me in with
sexy talk, that's how you do it.
18
00:00:34,063 --> 00:00:35,696
Okay, why don't you guys
stay across the hall
19
00:00:35,698 --> 00:00:37,431
and we will
live here?
20
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,866
(exhales)
21
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:40,567
Very well. I'm on board.
22
00:00:40,569 --> 00:00:42,102
- Seriously?
- Yes.
23
00:00:42,104 --> 00:00:43,637
I accept this
five-week mission
24
00:00:43,639 --> 00:00:45,472
to share a living space
with my girlfriend.
25
00:00:45,474 --> 00:00:46,974
Oh. This is so exciting.
26
00:00:46,976 --> 00:00:49,009
Well, now, don't be surprised
if, like Star Trek,
27
00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:52,346
it's canceled in three.
28
00:00:53,849 --> 00:00:56,317
(dramatic music playing)
Okay, I'm confused.
29
00:00:56,319 --> 00:00:57,785
Which one is Mr. Robot?
30
00:00:57,787 --> 00:00:59,219
I'll give you a hint.
31
00:00:59,221 --> 00:01:01,722
We're watching
Daredevil.
32
00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:05,225
Will you two please inform Amy
how much you enjoy
33
00:01:05,227 --> 00:01:07,561
adhering
to a strict bathroom schedule?
34
00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:08,595
- Can't.
- Won't.
35
00:01:08,597 --> 00:01:09,830
- Didn't.
- Don't.
36
00:01:09,832 --> 00:01:11,098
AMY:
I told you,
37
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you can't regulate every aspect
of our lives.
38
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I can if you'd just roll over
and accept your fate.
39
00:01:17,673 --> 00:01:20,140
I'm sorry
for bringing this over here.
40
00:01:20,142 --> 00:01:21,842
Believe me, we know
what you're going through.
41
00:01:21,844 --> 00:01:24,445
And I-I think the most helpful
thing we can tell you is
42
00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:25,666
no backsies.
43
00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:27,482
Mm-hmm.
44
00:01:27,483 --> 00:01:28,816
Sheldon,
I understand
45
00:01:28,818 --> 00:01:30,250
that you like things
a certain way
46
00:01:30,252 --> 00:01:31,919
and I'm willing
to make some concessions,
47
00:01:31,921 --> 00:01:34,321
but you have to be open
to compromise.
48
00:01:34,323 --> 00:01:35,823
She's right.
That's reasonable.
49
00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:37,624
Oh, look who's in
favor of compromise,
50
00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:41,028
the woman who married
Leonard Hofstadter.
51
00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:43,263
Hey, she didn't
compromise.
52
00:01:43,265 --> 00:01:45,933
She settled.
There's a difference.
53
00:01:46,669 --> 00:01:49,203
Yeah. You tell him, babe.
54
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
55
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
56
00:01:56,178 --> 00:01:57,811
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
57
00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,347
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
58
00:02:00,349 --> 00:02:03,016
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
59
00:02:03,018 --> 00:02:05,686
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
60
00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,588
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
61
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x05 ♪
The Hot Tub Contamination
Original Air Da
63
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
64
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What time do you
and Bernadette head out?
65
00:02:19,662 --> 00:02:21,195
As soon as I get home.
66
00:02:21,197 --> 00:02:22,630
We're hoping to make it
before dark.
67
00:02:22,632 --> 00:02:24,398
I've never been
to Palm Springs.
68
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,733
Oh, you
should go.
69
00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:28,002
It's terrific.
I-I really thrive anywhere
70
00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:31,539
the women and the temperature
are over 90.
71
00:02:32,442 --> 00:02:33,808
I don't know.
72
00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:35,409
If I want to watch
old people sweat,
73
00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:38,612
I can just FaceTime
my family in India.
74
00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:40,581
It's nice you
75
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,516
and Bernadette are getting away.
76
00:02:42,518 --> 00:02:45,152
Well, she wants us to
spend more time together
77
00:02:45,154 --> 00:02:46,520
before the baby comes.
78
00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,923
So then what are you doing here
buying comic books?
79
00:02:48,925 --> 00:02:51,392
Well, he wants us to
spend more time together
80
00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:53,461
before the baby comes.
81
00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:57,932
When you live with someone,
there's gonna be conflict.
82
00:02:57,934 --> 00:03:00,768
You just have
to keep communicating.
83
00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:02,369
I'm open to that.
84
00:03:02,371 --> 00:03:04,872
Okay. Well, for starters,
85
00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:07,408
there's nothing wrong
with keeping our toothbrushes
86
00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:09,109
in the same holder.
87
00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:12,513
Sheldon, what do you say
to that?
88
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:14,482
I think we should
see other people.
89
00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:18,284
What?!
90
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:21,423
Well, as a male, I have
an evolutionary drive
91
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,190
to perpetuate my DNA.
92
00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:26,927
Restricting myself to a single
partner is against my nature.
93
00:03:28,598 --> 00:03:30,297
We sleep together once a year!
94
00:03:30,299 --> 00:03:32,833
You want other partners?
95
00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:35,769
Don't blame me.
Blame your pal, biology.
96
00:03:35,771 --> 00:03:38,305
He's the pervert pulling
the strings here.
97
00:03:39,308 --> 00:03:41,853
You wanna see other people?
Go see other people.
98
00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,290
(arguing indistinctly)
99
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:45,613
I hope one of those people is a
monkey, 'cause this is bananas.
100
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,556
You can make jokes,
but if this keeps up,
101
00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:49,763
he's gonna move
back in here.
102
00:03:49,787 --> 00:03:51,552
All right. Well, let's just get them
apart for a while
103
00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:52,566
so they can cool down.
104
00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:53,455
Good.
105
00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:55,022
Then before we
reintroduce them,
106
00:03:55,024 --> 00:03:56,223
we'll give him one
of her sweaters
107
00:03:56,225 --> 00:03:58,726
so he can get used
to her scent again.
108
00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:02,329
So it's okay for you
to joke around?
109
00:04:02,331 --> 00:04:03,931
No, that's actually
what we did with him
110
00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:06,066
when Howard came
back from space.
111
00:04:08,271 --> 00:04:10,604
Honey, how ya feeling?
112
00:04:10,606 --> 00:04:12,806
(Bernadette retching loudly)
113
00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:16,744
The book says at this stage
of the pregnancy
114
00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:19,079
morning sickness
should be going away.
115
00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,248
(retching)
116
00:04:23,052 --> 00:04:26,020
So that's good news, right?
117
00:04:26,022 --> 00:04:29,757
The only thing I hate more than
you right now is that book!
118
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(toilet flushes)
119
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There she is!
(chuckles)
120
00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:39,967
Who's ready for a hot,
121
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:43,404
three-hour car ride
to the desert?
122
00:04:43,406 --> 00:04:46,907
Next vomit is gonna be
in your lap.
123
00:04:46,909 --> 00:04:49,577
I'm sorry.
124
00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:51,545
We don't have to go.
125
00:04:51,547 --> 00:04:53,747
But it's our last chance
to take a vacation
126
00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:56,016
that's just the two of us.
127
00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:58,185
How 'bout we stay here?
128
00:04:58,187 --> 00:04:59,887
We don't even have
to tell anyone.
129
00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:02,923
It'll be like
a secret vacation at home.
130
00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:04,278
(chuckles)
131
00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,427
Keeping secrets
from our friends--
132
00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:07,528
that does sound
kinda fun.
133
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,831
Does it sound... sexy?
134
00:05:15,638 --> 00:05:19,073
You just heard me
throwing up.
135
00:05:19,075 --> 00:05:22,409
You bet I did.
136
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:31,051
You're so weird.
137
00:05:31,053 --> 00:05:33,087
You know what's weird?
138
00:05:37,393 --> 00:05:39,893
How turned on
you are right now.
139
00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:44,431
You know, people are quick
to accuse me
140
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,833
of being difficult
to live with,
141
00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:48,535
but the truth is,
Amy is just as challenging.
142
00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:50,938
Just as challenging.
143
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:52,106
Yes.
144
00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:54,908
As you.
145
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,276
Yes.
146
00:05:56,278 --> 00:05:59,079
Just as challenging as you.
147
00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:02,449
When we're sleeping,
148
00:06:02,451 --> 00:06:03,884
she breathes on me.
149
00:06:03,886 --> 00:06:06,220
One night, it got so bad
I almost grabbed Toto
150
00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:08,656
and headed for the storm cellar.
151
00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:10,658
Leonard breathes on me, too.
152
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,226
It's not a big deal.
153
00:06:12,228 --> 00:06:14,061
She's always complaining
about people at work.
154
00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:15,729
Well, so does Leonard.
155
00:06:15,731 --> 00:06:17,564
It's kind of annoying, but
it's not the end of the world.
156
00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:19,333
Do you know that when I get out
of the shower,
157
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:22,936
she eyes me up and down
like I'm a piece of meat?
158
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,171
You know, so does Leonard.
159
00:06:24,173 --> 00:06:25,472
Can't I just get ready
in the morning
160
00:06:25,474 --> 00:06:27,341
without him giving me
his goofy thumbs-up?
161
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,742
"Hey."
(chuckles)
162
00:06:29,612 --> 00:06:31,445
I know.
163
00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:33,547
Sometimes I would just like
to be appreciated for my mind.
164
00:06:33,549 --> 00:06:36,950
Agreed!
Thank you!
165
00:06:39,388 --> 00:06:41,855
That feels great.
166
00:06:41,857 --> 00:06:43,190
Well,
167
00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:44,758
pulling a quarter out
of your ear
168
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,695
isn't the only magic
these hands can do.
169
00:06:47,697 --> 00:06:51,231
In fact, wh-what's this
170
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:54,468
between your toes?!
171
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:58,338
Can you please stop making money
come out of me for two minutes?
172
00:07:01,744 --> 00:07:03,143
(door opens)
173
00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:04,445
(door shuts)
174
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:05,746
(quietly):
Was that the front door?
175
00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:07,748
(quietly):
It sounded like it.
176
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,451
(footsteps) Oh, my God.
Someone's in the house.
177
00:07:10,453 --> 00:07:12,653
Lock the door, lock the door!
178
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:16,356
- We should call the police.
- Uh...
179
00:07:16,358 --> 00:07:18,125
I left my phone downstairs.
180
00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,660
Damn, so did I.
181
00:07:19,662 --> 00:07:21,528
Wait, I have my iPad!
What are we gonna do,
182
00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:23,797
e-mail 911?
183
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,466
That's not helpful!
184
00:07:25,468 --> 00:07:26,467
You know I rely
185
00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:28,335
on humor in times of stress.
186
00:07:28,337 --> 00:07:30,904
Let me know when you start,
because that wasn't funny!
187
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,807
(whirring)
188
00:07:33,809 --> 00:07:34,942
(bubbling)
189
00:07:34,944 --> 00:07:36,844
Is that the hot tub?
190
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,180
Who would use
our hot tub?
191
00:07:40,182 --> 00:07:41,448
(sighs)
192
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:44,585
Well, the answer is both
more and less disturbing
193
00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,353
than you think.
194
00:07:46,355 --> 00:07:47,454
Who is it?
195
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:48,622
Stuart.
196
00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:54,428
He heard me talking
about us going away.
197
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:57,965
I guess he decided
to invite himself over?
198
00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,833
Should we say something to him?
199
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,935
Maybe. How 'bout,
200
00:08:01,937 --> 00:08:06,473
"Hey, you look like
a boiled chicken breast"?
201
00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:10,144
I meant like, "What
are you doing here?"
202
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:13,514
Nah, that's not gonna
hurt his feelings.
203
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:17,017
Why is nothing easy
with him?
204
00:08:17,019 --> 00:08:21,288
Look, here's the thing you need
to understand about Sheldon:
205
00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,757
he's the worst.
206
00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:26,994
I prefer to think of it
as high-maintenance.
207
00:08:26,996 --> 00:08:28,929
I prefer to think of myself
as five-ten,
208
00:08:28,931 --> 00:08:31,198
but I still need to get
all my pants hemmed.
209
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,902
I guess I should have known
what I was getting myself into.
210
00:08:34,904 --> 00:08:36,370
Don't beat yourself up.
211
00:08:36,372 --> 00:08:38,372
You've never lived
with anyone before.
212
00:08:38,374 --> 00:08:40,374
That's true.
And you're starting out
213
00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,376
with Sheldon Cooper.
214
00:08:42,378 --> 00:08:45,045
That's like getting your first
pet and having it be--
215
00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:47,047
I don't know...
216
00:08:47,049 --> 00:08:50,317
What's a kind of pet
that ruins your life?
217
00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:52,853
You're not making me
feel better.
218
00:08:52,855 --> 00:08:55,622
Look, even when Penny and I
started living together,
219
00:08:55,624 --> 00:08:57,357
there was a-a learning curve.
220
00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:59,993
But I promise you,
it does get easier.
221
00:08:59,995 --> 00:09:01,929
He put a sign up in the bathroom
that says,
222
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:05,899
"Number of days
without Amy's hair on the soap."
223
00:09:06,735 --> 00:09:08,268
Yeah.
224
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:11,305
My record was six.
225
00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:15,475
Is it me,
or is there something fun
226
00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:17,711
about watching him
just float there?
227
00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:23,183
Maybe this is why
people get fish tanks.
228
00:09:23,185 --> 00:09:25,285
(click)
229
00:09:25,287 --> 00:09:27,087
Who just turned
the porch lights on?
230
00:09:27,089 --> 00:09:29,256
Is someone else here?
231
00:09:32,061 --> 00:09:34,628
Hmm. They must have left
the tub on.
232
00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:36,463
Good thing I stopped by.
233
00:09:50,913 --> 00:09:53,580
Ah!
234
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,718
(gasping)
(screaming)
235
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,320
(screaming)
236
00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:10,456
What are you doing here?!
237
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:13,299
What are you doing here?!
238
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:17,312
Maybe Howard and Bernadette said
I could be here!
239
00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:19,248
Did they?
240
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,950
Answer the question!
What are you doing here?!
241
00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,754
I had nothing else
to do tonight.
242
00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:27,256
The last couple of months,
243
00:10:27,258 --> 00:10:29,625
I come here when I
know they're not home.
244
00:10:29,627 --> 00:10:30,659
What?!
245
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,194
They heard me in
the bushes once,
246
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,430
but they thought
it was a raccoon.
247
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:38,233
I told you raccoons
don't say "Uh-oh."
248
00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:43,839
You know, one night, Leonard's
nose whistled so loud,
249
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:47,009
I swear it was like
sleeping on a train track.
250
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:48,800
Have you noticed
it's always an A-flat?
251
00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:50,313
Is it?
252
00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:51,947
(whistles)
Oh!
253
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:54,349
It's like his sinuses
are right here in the car.
254
00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:57,519
If we're just going
to drive around aimlessly,
255
00:10:57,521 --> 00:10:59,755
the least you could do is
take me for ice cream.
256
00:10:59,757 --> 00:11:01,423
Yeah, I'll take you
for ice cream.
257
00:11:01,425 --> 00:11:04,059
Well, see, why can't Amy be
that subservient?
258
00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:07,896
She has coitus one time,
suddenly she's Gloria Steinem.
259
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,600
Anyway, I suppose an ice cream
parlor will be a good place
260
00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:12,968
to meet other women.
261
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:14,736
Oh, please, you're
barely interested
262
00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:16,405
in a physical relationship
with one person.
263
00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:20,275
Why would you want to confuse
and disappoint others?
264
00:11:20,277 --> 00:11:24,112
Being with Amy has awoken
the sexual creature within.
265
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:27,449
When I see a pretty gal walking
down the street, I think,
266
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:30,452
"hubba hubba"
like any other guy.
267
00:11:30,454 --> 00:11:33,555
You kiss your mother
with that mouth?
268
00:11:33,557 --> 00:11:34,823
'Cause it's fine.
269
00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:39,528
Here you go.
270
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:41,730
Thank you.
271
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,700
Shall we toast?
272
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,169
To Howard and Bernadette,
273
00:11:47,171 --> 00:11:50,372
and the house key they
never asked me to return.
274
00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:53,909
You said you got it back.
275
00:11:53,911 --> 00:11:57,346
Well, clearly, I lied.
276
00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,282
So how's your apartment?
277
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,284
Not great. The
electricity's out.
278
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,952
So why don't you get it fixed?
279
00:12:03,954 --> 00:12:08,724
I called, and they're
like, "Pay your bill!"
280
00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:11,860
Of you ever need somewhere to
crash, there's always my place.
281
00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:14,029
Oh, no. I don't want
to be an inconvenience.
282
00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:16,965
You've got all your
lady friends, and...
283
00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:18,934
Actually, I'm single now.
284
00:12:18,936 --> 00:12:20,102
STUART:
What?!
285
00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:21,370
When did that happen?
286
00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:23,272
It's okay. It's by choice.
287
00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:26,542
Well, their choice,
and it's not okay.
288
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:29,144
Oh. Sorry.
I didn't know.
289
00:12:29,146 --> 00:12:32,881
Nobody does. I was embarrassed
so I didn't say anything.
290
00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:34,783
Why wouldn't he tell us?
291
00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,785
Are we bad friends?
292
00:12:36,787 --> 00:12:39,187
He's in our hot tub
drinking our wine.
293
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:41,857
Yeah, he deserves
to be alone.
294
00:12:43,227 --> 00:12:46,094
So you're back out
on the dating scene now?
295
00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,063
Yeah, yeah, a little.
296
00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:49,932
Oh, that must be fun.
How's that going?
297
00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:52,601
I'm in a hot tub with you,
so pretty bad.
298
00:12:55,606 --> 00:12:58,307
Maybe I should just give in
to his stupid bathroom schedule.
299
00:12:58,309 --> 00:12:59,942
No, don't do that.
300
00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:01,910
- But you did!
- Exactly!
301
00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:04,546
Learn from my mistakes!
302
00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:07,516
No matter where
I am at 7:18 a.m.,
303
00:13:07,518 --> 00:13:10,152
there better be
a toilet nearby.
304
00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:15,557
It's just so much easier
to give him what he wants.
305
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,194
Oh, true, but think of how
much you've accomplished.
306
00:13:19,196 --> 00:13:21,763
Who got him to stop
Purelling his pocket change?
307
00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:23,765
Me.
308
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,867
And who got him to put
things other than gloves
309
00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:27,603
in the glove compartment?
310
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:29,538
Me.
311
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:31,206
It was mittens.
312
00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:32,507
Mm.
313
00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:34,643
And who got him to
try a turkey dog?
314
00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:35,844
That was actually Koothrappali,
315
00:13:35,846 --> 00:13:38,480
but I did let him spit it out
in my hand.
316
00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:41,717
Look, how can you stop now?
317
00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:43,251
That's like walking
out of Pinocchio
318
00:13:43,253 --> 00:13:45,821
right before he
becomes a real boy.
319
00:13:45,823 --> 00:13:47,322
You know, you're right.
320
00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:48,924
I'm in this relationship, too.
321
00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:49,925
I need to stand up for myself.
322
00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:50,932
Of course you do.
323
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:53,762
And if he doesn't like it,
he can move back here.
324
00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:57,766
Oh. He can try. He'd just
need a good locksmith.
325
00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:03,338
Well, who you
gonna hit on?
326
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,307
The girl in front of
us got strawberry.
327
00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:07,342
That's your favorite.
328
00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:11,146
No. No, if we both like it,
I'll spend the rest of my life
329
00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:14,883
opening the freezer and going,
"Aw, no strawberry."
330
00:14:14,885 --> 00:14:17,686
What about the girl
behind the counter?
331
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:20,088
Hmm? Well, she spends
her whole day scooping.
332
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,959
One arm's probably
bigger than the other.
333
00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:27,396
Is it possible you might not
actually want to meet someone?
334
00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:31,533
You are truly wise.
335
00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:32,314
Thank you.
336
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,636
I'd say
337
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:34,659
wise beyond your years,
but you're getting up there.
338
00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:35,909
All right.
339
00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:40,542
Come on. What is really
going on with you?
340
00:14:42,413 --> 00:14:45,213
Penny, I am going
to tell you a story
341
00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:46,481
that I've never told anyone.
342
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,050
All right.
343
00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:50,385
I was 13 years old,
344
00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:53,388
and on spring break
from college.
345
00:14:57,361 --> 00:14:59,327
Not relating. Go on.
346
00:14:59,329 --> 00:15:03,732
I came home early because they
ran out of math to teach me.
347
00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:05,767
Oh, now I'm with ya. Okay.
348
00:15:05,769 --> 00:15:07,669
My mother was at bible study.
349
00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:10,305
I walked in the house
expecting to find it empty,
350
00:15:10,307 --> 00:15:14,142
and I heard a sound coming
from my parents' bedroom.
351
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:15,977
When I opened the door,
352
00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:19,548
I saw my father having relations
with another woman.
353
00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:22,651
Oh, that's awful!
I know.
354
00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:24,619
It's also why
I never open a door
355
00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:26,288
without knocking three times.
356
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:28,223
I mean, the first
one's traditional,
357
00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:31,560
but two and three are for people
to get their pants on.
358
00:15:31,562 --> 00:15:34,896
Well, what happened
with your dad?
359
00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:37,999
We locked eyes,
I ran to my room,
360
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,702
and we never, ever spoke of it.
361
00:15:40,704 --> 00:15:42,604
You poor thing.
362
00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:45,107
Since Amy and I
have been living together,
363
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:47,642
we've been bickering
like my parents used to.
364
00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:51,012
And you're afraid you're gonna
do something like your dad did?
365
00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:53,648
Yes. I need to prepare her now
366
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,576
to save her from pain
down the road.
367
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,819
Down the road?
368
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:59,588
Sheldon, she wanted to share a
toothbrush holder with you,
369
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:03,258
and now you're at an ice cream
parlor trying to pick up women!
370
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,996
Well, anything can sound silly
when you put it in that tone.
371
00:16:07,998 --> 00:16:10,031
Honey, instead of
worrying about pain
372
00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:12,134
you might cause in the
future, how about trying
373
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,302
to fix the pain you're
causing her right now?
374
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,071
(sighs)
375
00:16:16,073 --> 00:16:18,673
I'm sure you're right.
376
00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:21,610
I suppose I should
apologize to you, as well.
377
00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:23,245
Okay.
378
00:16:23,247 --> 00:16:26,214
That must have hurt watching me
look for other women
379
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:29,117
without ever even
considering you.
380
00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:36,324
Please understand
that I think of you
381
00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:39,628
as more of a nanny.
382
00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:43,832
Just finish your ice cream
so I can get you home to bed.
383
00:16:48,906 --> 00:16:51,039
I wonder if this is
what it feels like
384
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,542
to be Bernadette's baby.
385
00:16:55,179 --> 00:16:58,213
I don't know. Bernadette's baby
doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet
386
00:16:58,215 --> 00:17:00,482
hitting just the right spot.
387
00:17:02,452 --> 00:17:06,655
Those jets are
for my secret spot, not his!
388
00:17:06,657 --> 00:17:08,957
What do you do in there?!
389
00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:12,994
It's called relaxing,
and that's all you need to know.
390
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:17,699
Well, it's getting late.
391
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,968
Maybe we should head home.
392
00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:22,704
Yeah, you're probably right.
393
00:17:22,706 --> 00:17:24,172
(sighs)
394
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,907
You coming?
395
00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:27,709
Yeah, just give me a minute.
396
00:17:27,711 --> 00:17:28,944
Why?
397
00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:32,581
Well, you know how
you're wearing a bathing suit?
398
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,516
Yeah?
399
00:17:34,518 --> 00:17:37,586
I kind of went the other way.
400
00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:41,323
You jackasses just bought
yourselves a hot tub!
401
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,705
What do you think?
402
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:56,940
It's a nice enough spot.
403
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,175
You know, if I'm going to start
standing up for myself,
404
00:17:59,177 --> 00:18:00,103
this is exactly
the kind of thing...
405
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:00,875
We're back!
406
00:18:00,899 --> 00:18:02,521
Oh, hi! Hi!
407
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,188
Hello.
408
00:18:06,189 --> 00:18:07,355
How you guys doing?
409
00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,523
We're doing good. I think
410
00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:10,325
Sheldon has something he
would like to say to Amy.
411
00:18:10,327 --> 00:18:12,493
(sighs)
412
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:19,200
I wanted to apologize
for my behavior today. It...
413
00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:26,040
(clears his throat)
414
00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:29,544
It was unnecessary.
415
00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:32,847
This is warm.
416
00:18:34,484 --> 00:18:39,721
Oh, and also, I am willing to
forego the bathroom schedule.
417
00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,990
Oh. Really?
418
00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:44,192
Why does she get that?!
We never got that!
419
00:18:44,194 --> 00:18:45,893
Do you want him back?
420
00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:47,996
I'm very happy for you.
421
00:18:48,732 --> 00:18:51,499
Amy, you should know
422
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:53,868
I was never really interested
in seeing other women.
423
00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:57,572
And to prove how
serious I am about us,
424
00:18:57,574 --> 00:19:01,309
I'm willing to take our
relationship to the next level.
425
00:19:02,612 --> 00:19:04,812
Amy Farrah Fowler,
426
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:07,949
will you share
this toothbrush holder with me?
427
00:19:10,687 --> 00:19:12,854
I would love to.
428
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,027
LEONARD:
Did we really
429
00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:21,729
need to be
here for this?
430
00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:24,899
Call me crazy,
but I found it moving.
431
00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:35,273
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man