1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,086
Hey, have you ever heard of
the Van Nuys Comic-Con?
2
00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:05,938
Yeah.
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:08,473
It's a dinky little convention
where they sell collectibles
4
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:11,560
and get sad D-list celebrities
to appear. Why?
5
00:00:11,562 --> 00:00:13,562
I got asked
to sign autographs there.
6
00:00:13,564 --> 00:00:15,981
That's awesome!
7
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,533
Is this for
Serial Ape-ist?
8
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:20,152
Well, it could be
for the monkey movie.
9
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,820
It could be
my hemorrhoid commercial.
10
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,121
The list does not go on.
11
00:00:23,903 --> 00:00:25,373
- When is it?
- It doesn't matter.
12
00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:25,985
I'm not doing it.
13
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,376
What? Why not?
14
00:00:27,377 --> 00:00:28,877
You just said yourself,
it's sad.
15
00:00:28,879 --> 00:00:30,212
Yeah, but it's
not pathetic.
16
00:00:30,214 --> 00:00:32,080
That's where
I draw the line.
17
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,716
Come on! We'll have fun.
18
00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:35,884
I don't know.
19
00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:37,969
You'll have nerds
fawning all over you.
20
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,672
If you don't love that,
this marriage is in trouble.
21
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,924
I guess it wouldn't hurt
to meet some fans
22
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:44,426
and make a little extra money.
23
00:00:44,428 --> 00:00:45,894
Yeah.
24
00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:48,980
Wow! An appearance
by George Lucas...
25
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,149
...'s dermatologist.
26
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,020
- Oh, I want that autograph.
- Oh, yeah.
27
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:58,657
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
28
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,993
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
29
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,612
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
30
00:01:03,614 --> 00:01:06,214
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
31
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,884
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
32
00:01:08,886 --> 00:01:11,586
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
33
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:13,421
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
34
00:01:13,423 --> 00:01:13,923
♪ Bang! ♪
35
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:17,924
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x06 ♪
The Fetal Kick Catalyst
Original Air Date
36
00:01:17,925 --> 00:01:24,325
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
37
00:01:24,358 --> 00:01:26,308
You know, with us living
together, maybe we could
38
00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:28,477
think about having people over.
39
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,863
We have people
over all the time.
40
00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:33,532
We have the maintenance people,
the pizza delivery man...
41
00:01:34,952 --> 00:01:37,152
...that UPS driver
who feels the need to ask
42
00:01:37,154 --> 00:01:39,321
how parts of me are hanging.
43
00:01:39,323 --> 00:01:41,490
You know what I meant.
44
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,125
All right, fine.
45
00:01:43,127 --> 00:01:44,293
Let's say that
46
00:01:44,295 --> 00:01:45,411
we were to entertain people.
47
00:01:45,413 --> 00:01:47,379
What type of gathering
did you have in mind?
48
00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:48,664
Huh? A meal? Lunch?
49
00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:49,582
Brunch? Dinner?
50
00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:50,833
Afternoon tea?
A formal tea? Hmm?
51
00:01:50,835 --> 00:01:53,302
Is it a party?
And if so, what kind of party?
52
00:01:53,304 --> 00:01:55,087
Is it a cocktail party?
53
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:56,639
A Tupperware party?
54
00:01:56,641 --> 00:01:59,808
Ooh, yeah--
is it a surprise party?
55
00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:01,010
Oh, I hope it's not
56
00:02:01,012 --> 00:02:02,678
a West Coast party,
'cause according to
57
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,315
the man on the radio,
a West Coast party don't stop.
58
00:02:06,317 --> 00:02:08,234
I'm sorry I mentioned it.
59
00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:09,852
Oh, don't be.
You get your hopes up,
60
00:02:09,854 --> 00:02:12,488
I knock them down.
That's called teamwork.
61
00:02:18,863 --> 00:02:21,864
(gasps)
62
00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:23,365
That's a kick.
63
00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:25,034
That's an actual kick.
64
00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:27,336
(panting)
65
00:02:30,341 --> 00:02:32,708
What are you doing?
66
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,843
I felt a kick.
67
00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:37,880
There's a baby in there.
68
00:02:37,882 --> 00:02:41,183
Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.
69
00:02:41,185 --> 00:02:44,270
Oh, I mean, I know
you're pregnant.
70
00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:45,521
I just...
71
00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:48,390
never connected
the idea of pregnancy
72
00:02:48,392 --> 00:02:51,977
and you actually having a baby.
73
00:02:51,979 --> 00:02:55,781
Which MIT did you go to?
74
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:58,067
(chuckles)
75
00:02:59,203 --> 00:03:02,488
Oh, God, we are not ready
to have an infant in this house!
76
00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:04,740
We don't have a crib,
we don't have diapers.
77
00:03:04,742 --> 00:03:06,241
We're not baby-proofed.
78
00:03:06,243 --> 00:03:10,079
Anyone can just walk in off the
street and lift our toilet lids!
79
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:12,498
Howie, we have time
to do all that stuff.
80
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,916
Do we?
81
00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,084
Look at you.
82
00:03:15,086 --> 00:03:18,003
Willy Wonka would roll you
to the juicing room.
83
00:03:19,757 --> 00:03:22,391
The next person kicking you
will be me.
84
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:23,342
Good night.
85
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,177
(sighs)
86
00:03:27,898 --> 00:03:29,815
(sighs)
87
00:03:29,817 --> 00:03:31,817
Are we even
in a good school...?
88
00:03:31,819 --> 00:03:33,018
Ow!
89
00:03:34,105 --> 00:03:37,606
I warned you,
and I did it.
90
00:03:41,912 --> 00:03:43,112
What's all this?
91
00:03:43,114 --> 00:03:45,698
Oh, everything we need
for your autograph session--
92
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,333
head shots, markers.
Okay.
93
00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:49,034
Leonard, it's sweet
you're excited about this,
94
00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:52,171
but it'll be a miracle if one
person asks for my autograph.
95
00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:53,339
Are you kidding?
96
00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,624
I once paid $20
for Theo Sassler's signature.
97
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,875
- Who's that?
- Oh, I don't even know.
98
00:03:56,877 --> 00:03:59,678
I just liked his name.
Theo Sassler!
99
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,514
Oh, and look at this.
100
00:04:02,516 --> 00:04:04,717
I even got a change maker.
101
00:04:08,472 --> 00:04:10,773
How much change you want,
little lady?
102
00:04:12,059 --> 00:04:15,394
Oh, there's so much
I want to change.
103
00:04:15,396 --> 00:04:19,114
Yeah, well, if it's a dollar,
you're in luck.
104
00:04:23,487 --> 00:04:25,821
What's going on here?
105
00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:28,540
You expressed an interest
in having people over,
106
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:31,043
and I feel
I dismissed it too quickly.
107
00:04:31,045 --> 00:04:32,411
So, I took matters
108
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:35,164
into my own hands,
and I arranged a brunch.
109
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,999
Well, that's so nice.
110
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,500
Who's coming?
111
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:41,637
Oh, uh, Stuart,
Bert from the geology lab,
112
00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:43,972
and Mrs. Petrescu
from downstairs.
113
00:04:43,974 --> 00:04:45,674
You mean the Romanian lady
on the second floor?
114
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:46,675
Yes.
115
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,010
Oh, fun story:
116
00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:50,345
she grew up with ten siblings.
117
00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:53,098
Or possibly penguins.
Her English is atrocious.
118
00:04:54,602 --> 00:04:56,151
That's an odd mix of people.
119
00:04:56,153 --> 00:04:58,020
Well, for our first time
hosting,
120
00:04:58,022 --> 00:05:00,656
I thought it would be wise
to conduct a trial run.
121
00:05:00,658 --> 00:05:01,940
You know,
like how I practiced
122
00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:03,492
for that Halloween haunted house
123
00:05:03,494 --> 00:05:06,862
by going into the bathroom
at the bus station.
124
00:05:06,864 --> 00:05:09,248
You never went
into that haunted house.
125
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,500
You never saw what jumped out
at me at the bus station.
126
00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:14,420
Well, thank you, Sheldon.
127
00:05:14,422 --> 00:05:16,455
This is a fun surprise.
128
00:05:16,457 --> 00:05:18,424
Oh. Well, the real surprise is
129
00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:21,009
how surprised you are
that I'm great at surprises.
130
00:05:21,011 --> 00:05:22,961
Well, that's not a
surprise at all.
131
00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:25,180
I mean, if I knew you
were good at surprises,
132
00:05:25,182 --> 00:05:26,381
I would have
expected the surprise,
133
00:05:26,383 --> 00:05:27,766
and therefore not
have been surprised.
134
00:05:27,768 --> 00:05:29,051
But as it is,
I didn't know,
135
00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:32,187
and therefore my surprise
should be unsurprising.
136
00:05:32,189 --> 00:05:35,140
Don't get me all randy.
Guests are on the way.
137
00:05:39,313 --> 00:05:40,946
Hi.
138
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:42,481
Hey, where you been?
139
00:05:42,483 --> 00:05:44,817
Oh, we went and did a little
shopping for the baby.
140
00:05:44,819 --> 00:05:46,702
Wait till you see
the crib we found.
141
00:05:46,704 --> 00:05:48,821
You bought a crib without me?
142
00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:50,489
You're gonna love it.
Yeah.
143
00:05:50,491 --> 00:05:51,990
It's the highest rated one
on the market.
144
00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:53,325
I wouldn't even
call it a crib.
145
00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:56,745
I'd call it a Fortress
of Solitude for babies.
146
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,248
Sounds expensive.
147
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,916
Okay, well,
I may have gone
148
00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:04,086
a bit overboard, but you can't
put a price on safety.
149
00:06:04,088 --> 00:06:07,506
Though if you did, it's more
zeroes than you're expecting.
150
00:06:08,509 --> 00:06:10,092
But it's the safest crib
you can buy.
151
00:06:10,094 --> 00:06:12,094
And if you don't like it,
we can return it.
152
00:06:12,096 --> 00:06:14,012
Fine.
In our new minivan.
153
00:06:14,014 --> 00:06:16,181
Hey, what's for lunch?
154
00:06:16,183 --> 00:06:17,900
You bought a minivan?!
155
00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:19,935
It's for the baby,
and I didn't buy it.
156
00:06:19,937 --> 00:06:21,353
The dealer
loaned it to me
157
00:06:21,355 --> 00:06:23,489
for a 24-hour test drive.
158
00:06:23,491 --> 00:06:25,574
Though we did ding up the back
pretty good with the crib,
159
00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:27,276
so you might have
bought a minivan.
160
00:06:28,946 --> 00:06:31,580
I don't want to drive that.
It's such a mom car.
161
00:06:31,582 --> 00:06:33,248
The guy at the dealership said
162
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,250
they're not just
for moms anymore.
163
00:06:35,252 --> 00:06:36,285
Then again,
164
00:06:36,287 --> 00:06:38,787
he did think
you were my husband.
165
00:06:41,175 --> 00:06:42,958
They thought it
at the ultrasound.
166
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,843
Why not at the car dealership?
167
00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:53,302
Never been on this side
of the table before.
168
00:06:53,304 --> 00:06:55,521
I feel powerful.
169
00:06:55,523 --> 00:06:56,972
Really?
170
00:06:56,974 --> 00:07:01,026
I feel like I'm selling candy so
our team can get new uniforms.
171
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:04,062
Okay, so it's $4.75
for a signed black-and-white
172
00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:05,314
and $9.95 for a color.
173
00:07:05,316 --> 00:07:07,482
Right. Why not five
and ten bucks?
174
00:07:07,484 --> 00:07:10,319
Well, I brought my moneymaker.
Let me shake it.
175
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,405
Hey, that guy's
looking over here.
176
00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:14,990
Oh. You think
he's your first autograph?
177
00:07:14,992 --> 00:07:17,159
I don't know. Be cool.
He's coming. He's coming.
178
00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:19,661
- Hi!
- Hi.
179
00:07:19,663 --> 00:07:20,913
I love your movie.
180
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:22,247
Well, thanks.
181
00:07:22,249 --> 00:07:23,832
It has got to be
one of the worst things
182
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,500
I've ever seen in my life.
183
00:07:25,502 --> 00:07:28,420
Your love confuses me.
184
00:07:30,391 --> 00:07:31,638
Would you like
an autograph?
185
00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:32,508
Sure.
186
00:07:32,509 --> 00:07:33,346
Okay. Who do I make it out to?
187
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,344
Daniel.
188
00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:35,644
- Okay.
- I have to ask.
189
00:07:35,646 --> 00:07:37,396
Were you trying to be that bad,
190
00:07:37,398 --> 00:07:39,348
or are you just
a terrible actress?
191
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:42,818
That did not clear things up.
192
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,856
That'll be $4.75.
193
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,524
Keep the change.
194
00:07:49,526 --> 00:07:51,693
But I... Oh.
195
00:07:58,335 --> 00:08:00,002
Nothing about that
was good.
196
00:08:00,004 --> 00:08:01,870
Mm-mm.
197
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,374
There's nothing
to be afraid of, Sheldon.
198
00:08:08,045 --> 00:08:10,929
The average cork speed
is 25 miles per hour.
199
00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:12,848
If that is too fast
around a school,
200
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:15,017
it is certainly too fast
around a kitchen.
201
00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:19,721
Been 15 minutes.
Just sayin'.
202
00:08:19,723 --> 00:08:21,607
Okay. I can do this.
203
00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:23,058
Just give me a moment...
204
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,393
(cork pops, Sheldon shrieks)
205
00:08:24,395 --> 00:08:25,861
Oh!
206
00:08:25,863 --> 00:08:28,063
Mimosas coming up.
207
00:08:28,065 --> 00:08:30,198
I once left orange juice
in my fridge so long,
208
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,151
it tasted like a mimosa.
209
00:08:33,153 --> 00:08:35,237
How old was it?
210
00:08:35,239 --> 00:08:36,738
It's hard to say.
211
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,157
I don't remember much
after I drank it.
212
00:08:40,995 --> 00:08:42,878
Would you like one,
Mrs. Petrescu?
213
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,715
Yes. Drink is fun
and good friends-- Applebee's.
214
00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:51,970
She's learning English from TV.
215
00:08:52,756 --> 00:08:55,090
TV, good. Now back to you.
216
00:08:55,092 --> 00:08:56,975
(knock on door)
217
00:08:56,977 --> 00:08:58,510
Hey, guys.
218
00:08:58,512 --> 00:08:59,561
Hi, Stuart.
219
00:08:59,563 --> 00:09:00,762
These are for you.
220
00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:02,898
Oh, they're pretty.
Thank you.
221
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,267
Stuart, this is Bert
from the Caltech geology lab,
222
00:09:05,269 --> 00:09:07,736
and this is Mrs. Petrescu
from downstairs.
223
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:08,437
Nice to meet you.
224
00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:09,771
- Hello.
- Hey.
225
00:09:09,773 --> 00:09:11,106
So, what did I miss?
226
00:09:11,108 --> 00:09:13,442
Eh, we watched Sheldon
try to open a bottle
227
00:09:13,444 --> 00:09:15,444
for 15 minutes.
228
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:20,916
15 minutes can save you
15% or more on car insurance.
229
00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:27,005
Anybody else coming
to this thing? Uh...
230
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,749
- What's your name? Okay.
- Jeff.
231
00:09:37,773 --> 00:09:38,669
Okay.
232
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:40,837
My favorite part
is your shower scene.
233
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:43,707
Been hearing that a lot today.
(clears throat)
234
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,675
I even have a screen grab
on my phone.
235
00:09:45,677 --> 00:09:48,595
Yep, there they are.
236
00:09:48,597 --> 00:09:51,047
Okay, let's
keep it moving.
237
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,717
Here you go. (chuckles)
238
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,218
Should've punched that guy.
239
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,137
Well, go ahead.
He's right over there.
240
00:09:57,139 --> 00:10:00,106
Why do you do that?
Can't you let me have my moment?
241
00:10:01,526 --> 00:10:03,193
- Hello.
- Hi.
242
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,444
I like your movies.
243
00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:05,130
Thank you!
244
00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:06,397
I saw both of them.
245
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,064
I assume we're still
talking about the movies,
246
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,734
but after today,
who knows.
247
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:13,153
You think I could get
a picture of us?
248
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:13,954
Oh, sure.
249
00:10:13,956 --> 00:10:15,038
And, uh, could you be
250
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,072
giving me a kiss?
251
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,123
No. She cannot kiss...
252
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,658
What is wrong with you people?!
253
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,627
- Leonard...
- No, no, no. It's not okay.
254
00:10:20,629 --> 00:10:21,208
Who are you?
255
00:10:21,232 --> 00:10:22,468
I'm her husband.
256
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,383
No, you're not.
257
00:10:27,636 --> 00:10:28,585
I am.
258
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,420
Yeah, he really is.
259
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,507
No.
260
00:10:37,062 --> 00:10:40,347
It's got a rearview camera,
there's a DVD player--
261
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,232
oh, and check this out.
262
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,070
It's like we're living
in the future!
263
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:49,439
Hey, show her the trunk!
Show her the trunk!
264
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:53,860
Imagine this:
you've got the baby in one hand,
265
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,746
groceries in the other,
and you're thinking,
266
00:10:56,748 --> 00:10:59,499
"How am I gonna
open this trunk?"
267
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:02,118
I'm probably thinking,
"Where's my husband,
268
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,504
and why isn't he helping me?"
269
00:11:04,506 --> 00:11:07,791
You don't need my help
when you can open the trunk
270
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,676
with a simple kick of the foot.
271
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,385
No, it's a gentle kick;
you're doing it wrong.
272
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,103
Here. Give me those.
273
00:11:27,195 --> 00:11:29,529
Uh, maybe it was
more of a circle?
274
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,368
It's weird that guy thought
you were a couple.
275
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,320
Yes!
Yes!
276
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,405
(chuckles) See?
277
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:41,374
Easy. And look at
all this cargo space.
278
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:42,409
You know,
we'll get the crib out
279
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,327
and you can take it
for a test-drive.
280
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:48,164
I'm telling you,
this van is gonna be...
281
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,416
(yelps)
282
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,501
(whimpering)
Oh, is it your back?
283
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,253
Uh... yeah.
284
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:54,504
(panting)
285
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:57,474
Anyway, let's just get
in and see if the GPS
286
00:11:57,476 --> 00:12:00,009
can take us to the
nearest emergency room.
287
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:05,014
So until
Amy's apartment is fixed,
288
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,734
she and I
are living here together.
289
00:12:07,736 --> 00:12:09,319
I lived with my old girlfriend.
290
00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:11,354
She was a geologist, too.
291
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,739
Things didn't work out?
292
00:12:12,741 --> 00:12:16,025
I came home from work one day
and she had taken everything.
293
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,527
I'm warning you,
294
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:20,029
hide your good rocks.
295
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:24,117
My sister's husband
took all her things, too.
296
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:25,502
Story at 11:00.
297
00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,790
Really, no one else is coming?
298
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,343
Oh, this is it.
299
00:12:33,345 --> 00:12:35,261
You are the practice round.
300
00:12:35,263 --> 00:12:37,046
Practice round? For-for what?
301
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,349
Uh, no.
He-he just means that
302
00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,217
you were the first people
we thought of.
303
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,268
SHELDON:
You know, exactly.
304
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:43,553
We've never thrown
a brunch before,
305
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,688
and I wanted to work
out all the kinks.
306
00:12:47,192 --> 00:12:49,025
So, I'm like a lab rat
307
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:51,194
before your real friends
come over?
308
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,231
Oh.
309
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,066
You see, your words
sound reasonable,
310
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,952
but your face
looks angry.
311
00:13:00,455 --> 00:13:03,123
Help me out here.
This is not where I shine.
312
00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:04,290
Stuart,
313
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:06,543
you know you're one of
our favorite people.
314
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:07,911
Okay, now, see,
you look sincere,
315
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,213
but your words are
completely false.
316
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,715
I'm glad we did
this test run.
317
00:13:12,717 --> 00:13:14,467
These brunches
are wild!
318
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,839
But how did you get her
to go out with you?
319
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,591
Well, she moved in
across the hall.
320
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,476
And he started
to slowly wear me down.
321
00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:25,228
Mm-hmm.
322
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:27,847
Like a river carves a canyon.
323
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:31,651
Yeah, except the river kept
showing me his Pokémon cards.
324
00:13:32,654 --> 00:13:34,154
Ready to go?
325
00:13:34,156 --> 00:13:35,355
Hang on.
This guy's telling me
326
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,607
how he got the Serial Ape-ist
girl to marry him.
327
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,192
This guy?
328
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:43,112
But he's wearing
a change maker.
329
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:46,332
I think it's hot.
330
00:13:47,335 --> 00:13:48,618
That's right.
331
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,670
I'm her change daddy.
332
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,793
(groans)
333
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,461
What was I thinking?
334
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,964
Wolowitzes are not
a lifting people!
335
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,765
We tip the lifting people!
336
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:03,967
(panting)
337
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:06,686
Do we really
have to sit for hours
338
00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:07,887
in the emergency room?
339
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,606
They're just gonna give you
ice and Advil
340
00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:11,224
like last time.
341
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,476
You're gonna feel terrible
when I'm in a wheelchair.
342
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,144
(panting)
343
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,480
Which, by the way,
would fit easily in the back
344
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,983
of this award-winning minivan.
345
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:23,453
Fine, we'll go to the E.R.
Just stop selling me on the van.
346
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:25,705
You're right. It sells itself.
347
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,492
You have to admit,
it's a pretty smooth ride.
348
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,461
I was hoping it'd be quieter.
349
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:33,830
If childbirth is half this bad,
350
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,666
you are so screwed!
351
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,469
Are we there yet?!
Soon.
352
00:14:39,471 --> 00:14:41,254
Why is it taking so long?!
353
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,056
H-Howard, Howard,
look at the DVD screen.
354
00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:46,175
I put on Batman: The Animated
Series. Your favorite!
355
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,561
I'm in too much pain (Batman music playing)
to watch cartoo...
356
00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:51,064
Oh! This is a good one.
357
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,982
I've been babysitting him
358
00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:54,684
way longer than you have.
359
00:14:56,238 --> 00:15:00,023
Fine. I'll buy the stupid van.
360
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,360
This is the best blintz
I've ever had.
361
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,912
Oh. Thank you.
362
00:15:05,914 --> 00:15:08,498
It almost makes up for the
incredibly awkward turn
363
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,533
things took earlier.
364
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:14,037
You know what,
I-I think I'm just gonna go.
365
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,922
No, Stuart, don't.
366
00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:18,625
No, I-I consider you
and Sheldon like my family,
367
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:21,127
and I'm not even sure
you think of me as a friend.
368
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,379
You have any idea
how that feels?
369
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,882
We're so sorry.
370
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,051
I'm always the last one
anybody thinks of.
371
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,686
Well, no, that's not true.
372
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,188
I mean, sometimes
it's Koothrappali.
373
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,358
But we're not
supposed to say that 'cause
374
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,393
he's a minority.
375
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,444
Bye.
376
00:15:38,446 --> 00:15:40,563
(stammers)
Stuart, wait.
377
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:44,784
I do know what it feels like
to be left out.
378
00:15:44,786 --> 00:15:46,402
I know how it feels, too.
379
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,405
All right, this is about me
and him; you're not part of it.
380
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,577
Stuart, perhaps we do
take you for granted,
381
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,379
and that is not acceptable.
382
00:15:56,381 --> 00:15:59,332
Please know that you truly
are a valuable member
383
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,633
of our social group.
384
00:16:00,635 --> 00:16:02,418
Thank you.
385
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,388
You know, in fact,
I'd like to propose a toast.
386
00:16:08,893 --> 00:16:10,009
To Stuart.
387
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,428
A fine man,
388
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:16,149
a good friend
and a wonderful guest.
389
00:16:16,151 --> 00:16:18,101
Hear, hear.
Cheers.
390
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:21,821
Cheers. Filmed before
a live studio audience.
391
00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:28,945
And that is how a short
asthmatic scientist
392
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:31,581
landed a stone cold fox.
393
00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,583
(chuckles):
Oh. Whoa.
394
00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:37,620
I didn't know you can
propose to the same person
395
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,672
so many times.
396
00:16:39,674 --> 00:16:42,258
The third time,
I did it in skywriting,
397
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:43,876
but she never looked up.
398
00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:46,429
You know, once,
I proposed to him.
399
00:16:46,431 --> 00:16:48,381
Yeah. I said no.
400
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,716
Why?
401
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,934
I just wanted to
make her work for it.
402
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,638
Yeah, that's gonna
cost you later.
403
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,641
Hang on. Is she just with
you because you're rich?
404
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,560
She makes more
money than I do!
405
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,945
(laughing):
What?! Who are you?!
406
00:17:11,828 --> 00:17:13,911
(slurring): Do you know
what else I love about you?
407
00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:14,962
Hmm?
408
00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:19,083
Y-Your handwriting
is impeccable!
409
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:20,334
(slurring):
Thank you for noticing!
410
00:17:20,336 --> 00:17:22,003
No, I mean it. I mean it.
411
00:17:22,005 --> 00:17:25,423
It's like you have
the soul of a label maker.
412
00:17:26,275 --> 00:17:27,927
You know what I
love about you?
413
00:17:27,951 --> 00:17:28,810
Hmm?
414
00:17:28,811 --> 00:17:31,345
You never leave the house
without a paper clip!
415
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,098
You never know
when two pieces of paper
416
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,902
might temporarily need fastening
in the top left corner.
417
00:17:41,074 --> 00:17:44,358
I also love how you
never use swear words.
418
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,776
You know, it turns out,
419
00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:49,914
you can hurt people
just as well without 'em.
420
00:17:51,951 --> 00:17:54,869
Maybe I can get a little help
putting some of this stuff away.
421
00:17:54,871 --> 00:17:56,871
Oh, calm down.
422
00:17:56,873 --> 00:17:59,006
I already put away
five of these!
423
00:17:59,008 --> 00:18:01,542
(laughs)
You see?
424
00:18:01,544 --> 00:18:04,712
No muss, no fuss,
not a single cuss.
425
00:18:09,204 --> 00:18:16,004
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man