1
00:00:02,974 --> 00:00:05,041
If we're going to be staying
in this apartment,
2
00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,476
would you be interested
in doing a little
3
00:00:06,478 --> 00:00:07,877
redecorating?
4
00:00:08,713 --> 00:00:11,848
Oh, actually, I would.
5
00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:13,716
Great, what'd you have in mind?
6
00:00:13,718 --> 00:00:16,853
Let's take every single thing
from the other apartment
7
00:00:16,855 --> 00:00:18,955
and put it in here.
8
00:00:18,957 --> 00:00:21,457
Well, how about we start
a little smaller?
9
00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:23,893
Like moving
the furniture around.
10
00:00:23,895 --> 00:00:26,129
You know, I have always thought
11
00:00:26,131 --> 00:00:28,064
that this couch
would look fantastic
12
00:00:28,066 --> 00:00:30,700
on the curb
in front of the building.
13
00:00:30,702 --> 00:00:34,203
Look, we can't just
throw away Penny's stuff,
14
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:37,773
but we can ask
if she wants any of it back.
15
00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:40,643
You know, I wonder how
she feels about
16
00:00:40,645 --> 00:00:42,912
all this artwork.
17
00:00:42,914 --> 00:00:45,548
Well, I'm sure
she misses this one.
18
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:48,918
I mean, it's the greatest gift
I've ever given anybody.
19
00:00:54,526 --> 00:00:59,328
It truly does capture the beauty
of your friendship with Penny.
20
00:01:01,266 --> 00:01:02,999
It may have appreciated
in value.
21
00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:06,169
The artist killed himself
shortly after painting that.
22
00:01:07,205 --> 00:01:10,873
Yeah, it seems only right
that she have it back.
23
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:12,475
I can't wait to see
the look on her face
24
00:01:12,477 --> 00:01:15,077
when I give it to her again.
25
00:01:20,351 --> 00:01:23,920
Look, it's the same smile
she has in the painting.
26
00:01:24,989 --> 00:01:28,391
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:28,393 --> 00:01:31,727
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:31,729 --> 00:01:33,296
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:35,865
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:38,501
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:38,503 --> 00:01:41,170
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:43,072
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:43,074 --> 00:01:43,574
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:43,575 --> 00:01:47,575
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x10 ♪
The Property Division Collision
Original
35
00:01:47,576 --> 00:01:53,876
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
36
00:01:53,887 --> 00:01:56,888
Yeah-- there's hooks in the
closet, I can hang it right now.
37
00:01:56,890 --> 00:01:58,723
Oh, no, no,
Th-those hooks are gone.
38
00:01:58,725 --> 00:01:59,958
What happened to them?
39
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,993
Uh, we ran out of candy
on Halloween,
40
00:02:01,995 --> 00:02:04,696
I was just giving
everything away.
41
00:02:05,532 --> 00:02:07,199
Hey, guys, what are you...?
42
00:02:07,201 --> 00:02:09,434
Oh, that's here, cool.
43
00:02:09,436 --> 00:02:12,204
Amy wants me to have it.
44
00:02:12,206 --> 00:02:13,872
Well, it would be selfish
of me to keep it.
45
00:02:13,874 --> 00:02:15,707
B-But it's a picture of you.
46
00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,509
And you.
47
00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:19,611
But you commissioned it.
48
00:02:19,613 --> 00:02:21,780
To give to you.
49
00:02:21,782 --> 00:02:24,049
But you like it so much.
50
00:02:24,051 --> 00:02:26,017
So do you.
51
00:02:27,054 --> 00:02:28,720
I seem to be losing.
52
00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:31,356
Yes, you do.
53
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:33,125
You know, Leonard,
the more I think about it,
54
00:02:33,127 --> 00:02:35,794
there are a number of mutually
owned items in this apartment
55
00:02:35,796 --> 00:02:37,262
that you and I
should go through.
56
00:02:37,264 --> 00:02:38,563
Uh, for example...
57
00:02:39,566 --> 00:02:41,900
who gets our beloved sword,
Longclaw?
58
00:02:41,902 --> 00:02:42,901
Why don't you keep it?
59
00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:44,169
That seems fair;
we did just give you
60
00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:46,037
the painting.
61
00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:47,405
Yeah, I don't need
anything around
62
00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:49,574
that I can stab myself with.
63
00:02:49,576 --> 00:02:51,009
SHELDON:
Wonderful,
64
00:02:51,011 --> 00:02:52,244
Longclaw is mine.
65
00:02:52,246 --> 00:02:54,212
And how about you keep
66
00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:56,414
our... avocado plant?
67
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,988
Sounds right--
a limited edition collectible
68
00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:04,356
worth hundreds of dollars
69
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,590
and a thing
70
00:03:05,592 --> 00:03:08,627
that grew out of a thing
we fished from the trash.
71
00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:11,530
Although, Amy and I did
just move in together,
72
00:03:11,532 --> 00:03:14,166
and a plant is
a lovely housewarming gift.
73
00:03:14,168 --> 00:03:16,268
Fine, take the plant.
74
00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:17,769
Oh, we got a sword
and a plant;
75
00:03:17,771 --> 00:03:19,337
our apartment's
really shaping up.
76
00:03:22,843 --> 00:03:24,643
Stuart, you didn't have
to get us a baby gift.
77
00:03:24,645 --> 00:03:25,911
Oh.
78
00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:28,446
Just homemade coupons for things
you might need help with
79
00:03:28,448 --> 00:03:29,848
before the baby gets here.
80
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:32,951
Going to the grocery store,
driving you to the doctor.
81
00:03:32,953 --> 00:03:36,254
If you're not in a hurry,
I can dig you a koi pond.
82
00:03:38,225 --> 00:03:40,125
A foot massage?
83
00:03:40,127 --> 00:03:43,461
And that's not me being creepy,
that's for either of you.
84
00:03:45,632 --> 00:03:48,767
This is very nice,
Stuart, thank you.
85
00:03:48,769 --> 00:03:51,903
How come this one's on
the back of an eviction notice?
86
00:03:51,905 --> 00:03:55,507
Oh, yeah.
Uh, now that you mention it...
87
00:03:55,509 --> 00:03:57,842
can I live here?
88
00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:01,680
Stuart, we'd love
to help you out,
89
00:04:01,682 --> 00:04:04,716
but this a bad time;
we're about to have a baby.
90
00:04:04,718 --> 00:04:06,451
Or is that why
this is a great time?
91
00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,453
Think about it--
when that baby comes,
92
00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:10,689
you're gonna need all the help
you can get.
93
00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,123
Thank you,
94
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:14,092
but I'm not really sure.
95
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:16,561
Hang on, maybe it's
not the worst idea.
96
00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:19,497
I mean, he did do a good job
taking care of my mother.
97
00:04:19,499 --> 00:04:23,768
That woman didn't get heat rash
once with me on powder patrol.
98
00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:26,838
Hey...
99
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,406
I guess you could stay
for a few days
100
00:04:28,408 --> 00:04:29,708
and we'll see how it goes.
101
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:31,109
Thank you.
102
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:32,911
And it's only temporary,
103
00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:35,080
just till I get back on my feet.
104
00:04:35,082 --> 00:04:37,882
or the baby goes off to college,
whichever happens first.
105
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,453
(chuckles)
When would you move in?
106
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:44,222
Well, uh, my car broke down
in your driveway,
107
00:04:44,224 --> 00:04:46,625
so I'm gonna say now.
108
00:04:47,728 --> 00:04:49,628
But I am ready to be helpful.
109
00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:51,496
In fact...
110
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:52,464
I'm gonna go vacuum.
111
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:56,101
Hmm. Actually I just
did that this morning.
112
00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:57,502
Okay.
113
00:04:57,504 --> 00:04:58,770
Then I'll dust.
114
00:04:58,772 --> 00:05:00,972
I did that, too.
115
00:05:00,974 --> 00:05:04,276
Then I'll check the batteries
in the smoke detectors.
116
00:05:04,278 --> 00:05:06,111
Howard just did that.
117
00:05:06,113 --> 00:05:09,180
Yeah, let him do it.
118
00:05:12,786 --> 00:05:14,386
(gasps)
Oh.
119
00:05:14,388 --> 00:05:15,754
Remember when we got this
120
00:05:15,756 --> 00:05:17,188
at Comic-Con?
121
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,490
LEONARD:
Oh, yeah.
122
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:21,493
The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.
123
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:25,063
Live long and prosper.
Live long and prosper.
124
00:05:25,065 --> 00:05:26,831
Live long
and prosper.
125
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,833
Live long and prosper.
126
00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,169
It's one of a kind.
127
00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:34,272
So if it breaks
there'd be none of it?
128
00:05:35,475 --> 00:05:36,608
Well, Leonard,
129
00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:38,443
you know, who should keep this?
130
00:05:38,445 --> 00:05:42,347
On the one hand, I love
Mr. Spock more than you do.
131
00:05:42,349 --> 00:05:45,617
On the other hand, I care more
about clocks than you do.
132
00:05:45,619 --> 00:05:47,152
So you think you should keep it?
133
00:05:47,154 --> 00:05:48,420
I'll be right across the hall.
134
00:05:48,422 --> 00:05:50,588
You'll probably be able
to hear it.
135
00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:54,059
Keep the clock, Sheldon.
136
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:55,193
Thank you.
137
00:05:55,195 --> 00:05:57,796
Thank you.
Thank you?
138
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:00,398
Oh, now...
139
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,334
(grunts)
what about
140
00:06:02,336 --> 00:06:03,802
our 3-D chess set?
141
00:06:03,804 --> 00:06:04,869
Let me guess, you want it.
142
00:06:04,871 --> 00:06:06,171
Well, no,
143
00:06:06,173 --> 00:06:07,839
I just didn't think you'd want
a physical reminder
144
00:06:07,841 --> 00:06:10,575
of a game you never
managed to win.
145
00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:13,011
As a kindness, I should probably
take all the games.
146
00:06:13,013 --> 00:06:15,413
You know what, Sheldon, take it.
147
00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:16,981
In fact, you can
have everything.
148
00:06:16,983 --> 00:06:18,416
I really don't care.
149
00:06:18,652 --> 00:06:20,419
Are you sure?
150
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:23,255
These items represent
our shared times together.
151
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,756
Well, now they're yours.
Leonard....
152
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:26,091
Well, you know
what's gonna happen.
153
00:06:26,093 --> 00:06:27,359
He's just gonna come up
with some reason
154
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:28,827
why everything should be his.
155
00:06:28,829 --> 00:06:30,696
For a man so good
at predicting my moves,
156
00:06:30,698 --> 00:06:32,731
how come you stink at 3-D chess?
157
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:36,468
Sheldon, you're-you're being
a little selfish.
158
00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,737
Why don't you let Leonard
keep a few things?
159
00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:40,038
It's not my fault
I'm bad at sharing;
160
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,840
I skipped kindergarten.
161
00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:43,442
You know what?
162
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,011
There is one thing I would like.
163
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:48,380
Yeah, take whatever you want.
164
00:06:48,382 --> 00:06:50,549
I would like to keep...
165
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:53,318
the official flag
of our apartment.
166
00:06:54,188 --> 00:06:56,521
But you don't even like flags.
167
00:06:56,523 --> 00:06:58,323
Yeah, I like this one.
168
00:07:00,361 --> 00:07:02,661
But I designed it.
169
00:07:02,663 --> 00:07:05,764
But you made me order it because
you were "too well-known"
170
00:07:05,766 --> 00:07:09,868
in the flag community
and they'd jack up the price.
171
00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:11,203
But you don't even understand
172
00:07:11,205 --> 00:07:13,538
its symbolism.
Oh, I do.
173
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:16,908
The-the field of blue
represents you being miserable,
174
00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:19,578
and the lion sticking
its tongue out means
175
00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,446
I'm happy about it.
176
00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:26,985
Come along, Amy.
177
00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:29,254
I know when I'm not wanted.
178
00:07:30,157 --> 00:07:34,259
I don't think you do,
but all right.
179
00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:39,197
Stuart, you cooked?
180
00:07:39,199 --> 00:07:40,832
How did you know it wasn't me?
181
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,534
There's only three
people in this house,
182
00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:44,670
and you'd still be
my fifth guess.
183
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,074
(doorbell rings)
That's Raj.
184
00:07:49,076 --> 00:07:50,242
You guys relax,
185
00:07:50,244 --> 00:07:51,343
I'll get it.
186
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:54,046
Have some bread
while it's still warm.
187
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:55,447
(chuckles)
188
00:07:55,449 --> 00:07:56,815
It's like we have a butler.
189
00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:59,851
If I had a Batsuit
I'd be Bruce Wayne.
190
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,855
You have a Batsuit.
191
00:08:03,857 --> 00:08:06,324
It's pajamas, there's no cape.
192
00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:09,261
Hey, Raj.
193
00:08:09,263 --> 00:08:10,495
Hey, Stuart.
194
00:08:10,497 --> 00:08:12,998
What are you doing here?
Oh, I'm living here again.
195
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,334
Do, uh, Howard
and Bernadette know?
196
00:08:16,336 --> 00:08:19,705
Or is it like a possum
in the walls kind of thing?
197
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:23,508
No, I needed a place to stay
198
00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:24,676
and, with the baby coming,
199
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,378
I figured they could
use some extra help.
200
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,914
Okay, cool.
201
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:30,248
Anyway, come on in,
dinner's ready.
202
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,983
Oh, but I bought
Chinese takeout.
203
00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:34,186
Oh, okay.
204
00:08:34,188 --> 00:08:37,122
Well, if Bernadette wants her
ankles to swell up even more,
205
00:08:37,124 --> 00:08:38,323
she can have that.
206
00:08:42,463 --> 00:08:45,330
Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
207
00:08:45,332 --> 00:08:47,699
Uh, hang on.
208
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,568
I don't think so,
I'm clicking on
209
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,869
"One weird trick
for a flat belly,"
210
00:08:50,871 --> 00:08:51,870
but I'm still seeing
211
00:08:51,872 --> 00:08:55,173
"Celebrities who look like
their pets."
212
00:08:55,175 --> 00:08:57,275
Oh, I knew it,
213
00:08:57,277 --> 00:08:58,910
Sheldon changed the password.
214
00:08:58,912 --> 00:08:59,911
Are you sure?
215
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:01,413
Well, the new network name is,
216
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:05,283
"Ha ha ha, now I've got you,"
so...
217
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:09,955
It's either Sheldon
or Gargamel from The Smurfs.
218
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,990
What a jerk.
219
00:09:11,992 --> 00:09:14,493
You're good at revenge;
how do we get him back?
220
00:09:14,495 --> 00:09:16,194
Well, my go-to move is usually
221
00:09:16,196 --> 00:09:17,696
sleep with the
person's boyfriend,
222
00:09:17,698 --> 00:09:21,299
but I kind of feel like
I'm already doing that.
223
00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:29,441
Sheldon, I know what you did,
224
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:32,010
now change the password back.
225
00:09:32,012 --> 00:09:35,881
Well, powder me in sugar
and call me a donut,
226
00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:39,384
if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
227
00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:42,320
Sheldon, I'm warning you,
I can play this game, too.
228
00:09:42,322 --> 00:09:44,189
If it's like
your 3-D chess game,
229
00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:46,825
then you're out of your length,
width and depth.
230
00:09:47,728 --> 00:09:50,128
Amy, get the Neosporin,
231
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,631
somebody just got burned.
232
00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:55,901
All right, I tried.
233
00:09:55,903 --> 00:09:58,136
"All right,
I tried."
234
00:09:58,138 --> 00:10:00,839
That should be the title
of your autobiography.
235
00:10:02,075 --> 00:10:05,177
Ooh, a second-degree burn.
236
00:10:06,113 --> 00:10:07,279
I've got the Neosporin.
237
00:10:07,281 --> 00:10:09,080
Who got hurt?
238
00:10:09,082 --> 00:10:10,448
It's a good thing you're cute.
239
00:10:18,892 --> 00:10:22,227
So, I was reading how it's
a good idea for new parents
240
00:10:22,229 --> 00:10:24,396
to take an
infant CPR class.
241
00:10:24,398 --> 00:10:26,865
Yeah, we've been
meaning to do that.
242
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:29,634
Oh, I know a CPR instructor
who'll come to the house.
243
00:10:29,636 --> 00:10:31,570
That'd be great.
STUART: I'll give him a call.
244
00:10:31,572 --> 00:10:33,271
We met when I was sleeping
on the beach
245
00:10:33,273 --> 00:10:34,806
and he thought I was dead.
246
00:10:37,611 --> 00:10:39,044
Thank you again
for cooking.
247
00:10:39,046 --> 00:10:41,413
It's getting tough for me
to be on my feet all day.
248
00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:44,282
You just kick back and relax;
I've got it all under control.
249
00:10:45,152 --> 00:10:47,385
Although it was
already under control.
250
00:10:47,387 --> 00:10:48,920
(clears throat)
251
00:10:48,922 --> 00:10:51,156
I'm sorry,
you mumbled something?
252
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,792
It's just that
253
00:10:53,794 --> 00:10:55,827
they've had plenty of help.
254
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,096
Well, you know what they say--
it takes a village.
255
00:10:58,098 --> 00:11:00,565
Well, they already
had a village.
256
00:11:01,802 --> 00:11:03,602
I noticed the village
couldn't find time
257
00:11:03,604 --> 00:11:05,136
to put the crib together.
258
00:11:05,138 --> 00:11:06,371
Yeah, well, maybe
259
00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:08,139
the village was too busy
checking out
260
00:11:08,141 --> 00:11:09,908
the local Montessori school
for the new arrival.
261
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:10,942
You mean the one
262
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:12,878
with the empty beer bottles
in the sandbox?
263
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,579
We'll pass, thank you.
264
00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:19,050
Do something, Batman.
265
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:23,855
(gasps)
266
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:26,057
Hey.
267
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,561
What do you think you're doing?
268
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,597
Separating my delicates.
269
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,567
This is the level
you're stooping to.
270
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,534
No.
271
00:11:36,536 --> 00:11:41,606
This is the level
I am stooping to.
272
00:11:45,045 --> 00:11:49,881
I believe that is flag
to crotch four, checkmate.
273
00:11:50,684 --> 00:11:53,818
Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.
274
00:12:06,971 --> 00:12:07,971
Hey, what's up?
275
00:12:08,039 --> 00:12:09,439
I'm here to put
the crib together.
276
00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:11,274
Ooh, sorry, I already did it.
277
00:12:11,276 --> 00:12:15,111
Oh, I don't know if you realize
this, but I bought that crib.
278
00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:19,515
Oh, yeah, I read about that
on WhoGivesACrap.com
279
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:22,719
Why are you being like this?
280
00:12:23,788 --> 00:12:25,655
Because I love
Howard and Bernadette
281
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:29,058
and if I want to keep mooching
off them, I need to be helpful.
282
00:12:29,928 --> 00:12:30,993
Hey, this pregnancy had
283
00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,028
an emotionally-needy third wheel
284
00:12:32,030 --> 00:12:34,163
way before you came along.
285
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,500
Why can't there be four wheels?
286
00:12:37,502 --> 00:12:40,069
Is this what you do
when I'm not here,
287
00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:42,305
make really good points?
288
00:12:42,307 --> 00:12:46,109
Look-Look, just come in and
help me build a baby swing.
289
00:12:46,111 --> 00:12:47,910
Thank you.
290
00:12:47,912 --> 00:12:51,114
If you're hungry you can eat
your takeout; nobody touched it.
291
00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:54,751
I think I'm gonna
go for a run.
292
00:12:54,753 --> 00:12:56,085
You want to come?
293
00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:58,988
No, last time that old lady
in the park kept screaming,
294
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,591
"Watch out, he's
right behind you."
295
00:13:05,296 --> 00:13:06,829
Hello?
296
00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:10,166
Hey, how you doing?
297
00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:13,269
Uh, can I help you?
298
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:16,939
I don't think so,
but you're sweet for asking.
299
00:13:17,776 --> 00:13:18,841
What-What are you doing
300
00:13:18,843 --> 00:13:20,343
in our apartment?
301
00:13:20,345 --> 00:13:24,714
Oh, I rented a room from
your neighbor, the tall guy...
302
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,417
dressed like a little boy.
303
00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:29,786
Unbelievable.
304
00:13:29,788 --> 00:13:32,388
Okay, uh, I don't know
what he told you,
305
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,090
but you can't stay here.
306
00:13:34,092 --> 00:13:36,526
So, there are fresh linens
on the bed and...
307
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:37,493
Oh.
308
00:13:37,495 --> 00:13:39,395
Well, now, I see
you've met Theodore.
309
00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:43,866
Theodore, these
are your new roommates,
310
00:13:43,868 --> 00:13:45,201
Leonard and Penny.
311
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:46,536
They're very honest,
312
00:13:46,538 --> 00:13:48,104
but I would not leave
cash lying around.
313
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:50,173
Sheldon,
314
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:51,574
what do you think
you're doing?
315
00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:53,910
My room is paid up
until the end of the month,
316
00:13:53,912 --> 00:13:55,311
so I can do
with it whatever
317
00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:56,579
I please, which includes
318
00:13:56,581 --> 00:13:59,148
renting it out
for a dollar a night.
319
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,983
It's like the '40s again.
320
00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:06,856
Anyway, I'll leave you be.
321
00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:08,057
I have to... oh, oh!
322
00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:10,159
He's expecting a newspaper
in the morning.
323
00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:12,361
Apparently,
they still make them.
324
00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:15,097
All right, Sheldon,
this is over the line.
325
00:14:15,099 --> 00:14:16,065
That's true,
326
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,167
but had I done
something under the line,
327
00:14:18,169 --> 00:14:19,669
there wouldn't be a man
in your kitchen
328
00:14:19,671 --> 00:14:21,938
who can't produce
a single form of ID.
329
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,806
Oh, oh, I have a receipt
from a blood bank.
330
00:14:24,409 --> 00:14:26,876
I'm O-negative.
331
00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:32,815
And now you know as much
about him as I do.
332
00:14:36,187 --> 00:14:38,221
Oh, hey, Bernadette,
333
00:14:38,223 --> 00:14:40,256
the swing comes
with two different mobiles.
334
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:44,126
The giraffes are pretty cute,
what do you think?
335
00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:45,862
Great, go with the giraffes.
336
00:14:45,864 --> 00:14:47,096
Although...
337
00:14:47,098 --> 00:14:49,432
the high contrast
of zebra stripes might provide
338
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:51,534
better stimulus
for a developing baby.
339
00:14:52,604 --> 00:14:55,972
Yeah, you're probably right,
go with the zebras.
340
00:14:55,974 --> 00:14:57,773
Good choice, boss.
341
00:15:00,144 --> 00:15:02,812
At least my nose
is naturally brown.
342
00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:09,051
Hey, could you please go
to the market for me?
343
00:15:09,053 --> 00:15:10,920
Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
344
00:15:10,922 --> 00:15:13,656
Howie, they've been doing
everything for you.
345
00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:14,957
Mm, I know.
346
00:15:14,959 --> 00:15:17,493
It's really making me
lose respect for both of them.
347
00:15:18,296 --> 00:15:20,229
Please just go to the store.
348
00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:22,932
Fine.
349
00:15:22,934 --> 00:15:25,368
Who wants to drive me
to the store?
350
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:26,903
KOOTHRAPPALI: Me!
STUART: I'll do it!
351
00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:27,970
Take Raj.
352
00:15:27,972 --> 00:15:31,407
Stuart is supposed
to paint my toenails.
353
00:15:42,186 --> 00:15:43,185
What do you think?
354
00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:44,520
Should we go to a hotel?
355
00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:46,522
And just leave
him here alone?
356
00:15:46,524 --> 00:15:47,990
Okay, I'll go to a hotel.
357
00:15:47,992 --> 00:15:50,459
Text me in the morning
if you're still alive.
358
00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:54,130
Uh, Theodore,
359
00:15:54,132 --> 00:15:55,364
how long
360
00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:57,833
are you planning
to stay exactly?
361
00:15:57,835 --> 00:16:00,336
Oh, thanks to the coins
I found in your couch,
362
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,905
a day longer than I thought.
363
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,541
This is ridiculous.
364
00:16:08,246 --> 00:16:10,346
I like the painting.
365
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:12,448
Is that your mom?
366
00:16:17,055 --> 00:16:19,822
Sheldon, get out here!
367
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,224
Will you keep it down?
368
00:16:22,226 --> 00:16:23,893
What kind of vengeful
bed and breakfast
369
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:26,062
do you think I'm running?
370
00:16:26,064 --> 00:16:28,631
We lived together
13 years.
371
00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:29,932
How can you be so awful to me?
372
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:31,367
I'm being awful?!
373
00:16:31,369 --> 00:16:33,436
You're the one who went
out of your way to hurt me.
374
00:16:33,438 --> 00:16:34,670
Because you were
being selfish.
375
00:16:34,672 --> 00:16:36,973
Dividing our belongings
is difficult.
376
00:16:36,975 --> 00:16:38,774
(laughing): Why?
I said I didn't care!
377
00:16:38,776 --> 00:16:40,242
THEODORE:
Excuse me.
378
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:43,412
It's none of my business,
but it sounds like a lot
379
00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:47,583
of this anger
is coming from love.
380
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,954
Yeah, thanks,
but nobody asked you.
381
00:16:51,956 --> 00:16:55,124
Well, I'm just gonna
keep on talking.
382
00:16:55,994 --> 00:16:57,259
Seems like, with Sheldon
383
00:16:57,261 --> 00:17:02,164
moving out, you're
in a new phase of your lives
384
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:03,666
and it's easier
385
00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:06,669
to fight than
to face the feelings
386
00:17:06,671 --> 00:17:09,572
that you have for one another.
387
00:17:10,975 --> 00:17:13,376
I think he might be right.
388
00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:15,344
Also, who is that?
389
00:17:16,547 --> 00:17:19,415
I have to admit,
390
00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:21,050
leaving you to
move in with Amy
391
00:17:21,052 --> 00:17:23,486
has been harder than
I thought it would be.
392
00:17:23,488 --> 00:17:25,121
Well, for me, too.
393
00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:27,056
It's not the same
with you gone.
394
00:17:27,058 --> 00:17:28,758
If you're looking for a new guy
to live with...
395
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,526
-No!
- We're good. Thank you.
396
00:17:31,829 --> 00:17:34,497
So, no one's gonna
tell me? Okay.
397
00:17:34,499 --> 00:17:35,831
Leonard,
398
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,233
I would like us
to stop fighting
399
00:17:37,235 --> 00:17:38,601
about our possessions.
400
00:17:38,603 --> 00:17:40,236
Well, I'd like that, too.
401
00:17:40,238 --> 00:17:43,572
In fact, I want you to
keep the apartment flag,
402
00:17:43,574 --> 00:17:44,874
and I'm not
just saying that
403
00:17:44,876 --> 00:17:47,410
because it touched
your genitals.
404
00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:48,811
You promise?
405
00:17:48,813 --> 00:17:50,012
I do.
406
00:17:50,014 --> 00:17:51,647
And to show you that there
are no hard feelings,
407
00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:55,518
I am willing to rub my
genitals on it as well.
408
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,919
Well...
409
00:17:56,921 --> 00:18:01,257
if we're rubbing genitals
on things, that's where I shine.
410
00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:14,111
Little lower to the left.
411
00:18:14,113 --> 00:18:16,981
A little more.
412
00:18:16,983 --> 00:18:18,416
Is it good?
413
00:18:18,418 --> 00:18:21,118
No, still hideous.
414
00:18:24,524 --> 00:18:27,057
Well, I'm sure
at some point,
415
00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:28,659
we won't even
notice it's there.
416
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:29,627
Yeah, you'd think that,
417
00:18:29,629 --> 00:18:31,228
but after a while it starts
418
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,731
showing up in your dreams.
419
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,767
I think it brings
the room together.
420
00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:41,472
Hey, tomorrow who wants
to paint the nursery?
421
00:18:41,474 --> 00:18:42,339
I'll do it.
422
00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:43,474
Why do you get to do it?
423
00:18:43,476 --> 00:18:44,508
I'm the artist.
424
00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:45,609
Just because you're starving
425
00:18:45,611 --> 00:18:47,545
doesn't make you an artist.
426
00:18:47,547 --> 00:18:50,815
Just because I look sickly
doesn't mean I'm starving.
427
00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:52,783
BERNADETTE: Howard!
428
00:18:53,886 --> 00:18:56,654
Guys, you heard her,
go see what she wants.
429
00:18:58,524 --> 00:19:00,324
I think I'm in labor.
430
00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:01,659
Oh, oh, okay.
431
00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:04,361
Okay, uh, uh, uh,
I can do this.
432
00:19:04,363 --> 00:19:05,496
We have a plan.
433
00:19:05,498 --> 00:19:07,565
Somebody please
tell me the plan.
434
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,800
I'll get the hospital bag.
I'll pull the van up.
435
00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:10,868
Meet you outside in 2 minutes.
436
00:19:10,870 --> 00:19:13,337
Team Baby, go!
437
00:19:15,508 --> 00:19:16,674
I love you.
438
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:18,642
I love you, too.
439
00:19:19,564 --> 00:19:22,565
Are we hugging or having a baby?
Let's go!
440
00:19:24,474 --> 00:19:31,274
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man