1
00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:05,288
What's going on with
that woman you're dating?
2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:06,256
I broke up with her.
3
00:00:06,258 --> 00:00:07,357
Why?
4
00:00:07,359 --> 00:00:08,925
She said she didn't
want to see me anymore
5
00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:11,828
and I found that insulting.
6
00:00:11,830 --> 00:00:14,364
I thought things were
going well. What happened?
7
00:00:14,366 --> 00:00:16,733
I don't know, she didn't
even give me a reason.
8
00:00:16,735 --> 00:00:18,635
Oh, not a problem, we
can figure this out.
9
00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:23,039
What are the reasons
women reject Raj?
10
00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:25,675
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Can we not play this game?
11
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:29,112
SHELDON:
Doesn't like games. That's one.
12
00:00:29,114 --> 00:00:30,380
Ignore him.
13
00:00:30,382 --> 00:00:31,915
Yeah, sorry about
the breakup.
14
00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:33,116
That's okay, I'm fine.
15
00:00:33,118 --> 00:00:34,351
SHELDON:
Of course you're fine.
16
00:00:34,353 --> 00:00:37,053
Not every member
of a species finds a mate.
17
00:00:37,055 --> 00:00:39,055
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
18
00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:41,558
Look at the
contributions he made.
19
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,027
I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
20
00:00:44,029 --> 00:00:47,864
Wha... So now you think you're
better than Isaac Newton? Oh.
21
00:00:47,866 --> 00:00:51,768
No wonder women
don't like you.
22
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:52,969
You're not being very nice.
23
00:00:52,971 --> 00:00:54,404
SHELDON:
What? He said he was fine.
24
00:00:54,406 --> 00:00:56,606
WOLOWITZ: Sometimes people
say things they don't mean.
25
00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:58,408
SHELDON:
Oh, that's a paradox.
26
00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:00,110
I-If you meant
what you just said,
27
00:01:00,112 --> 00:01:02,913
then that means you may not
have meant what you just said.
28
00:01:02,915 --> 00:01:05,048
Careful, I saw
this on Star Trek.
29
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:07,284
Smoke's gonna come
out of his ears soon.
30
00:01:08,854 --> 00:01:10,887
Hey.
Hey, boys. How's it going?
31
00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,656
Well, I thought we were having
a nice conversation,
32
00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:15,559
but it turns out,
I was being offensive.
33
00:01:15,561 --> 00:01:17,427
So, normal.
Yeah--
34
00:01:17,429 --> 00:01:19,462
(door closes)
Sheldon, what did you do?
35
00:01:19,464 --> 00:01:21,932
We were discussing
Raj's recent breakup
36
00:01:21,934 --> 00:01:24,234
and apparently,
I was insensitive to him.
37
00:01:24,236 --> 00:01:25,869
It's okay, I'm fine.
38
00:01:25,871 --> 00:01:27,270
You Di--
Don't fall for it.
39
00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:29,439
He'll get you to compare him
to a dead virgin,
40
00:01:29,441 --> 00:01:31,508
and suddenly you're the bad guy.
41
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,277
Sheldon, when I said I was fine,
42
00:01:34,279 --> 00:01:36,479
I meant I didn't want
to talk about it anymore.
43
00:01:36,481 --> 00:01:38,481
Then why didn't you say that?
44
00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:40,450
Because that's not
what people do.
45
00:01:40,452 --> 00:01:41,551
Well, I would prefer
if people told me
46
00:01:41,553 --> 00:01:42,886
exactly what is
on their mind.
47
00:01:42,888 --> 00:01:44,387
No. No, you don't,
you really don't.
48
00:01:44,389 --> 00:01:46,590
I actually can't
say "don't" enough.
49
00:01:46,592 --> 00:01:49,292
Well, it certainly
would be easier.
50
00:01:49,294 --> 00:01:51,161
You have no idea what it's like
51
00:01:51,163 --> 00:01:54,064
to struggle
with recognizing emotional cues.
52
00:01:54,066 --> 00:01:55,966
I'm sure it's
extremely frustrating.
53
00:01:55,968 --> 00:01:58,068
Thank you.
And also a little sad.
54
00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:00,270
O-Okay, now you're just
showing off.
55
00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:03,707
You know, I just read
that a team at MIT.
56
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,910
developed a device that helps
people read human emotions.
57
00:02:06,912 --> 00:02:10,213
And you think we can get those
guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
58
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:14,250
It's supposed to be accurate,
like, 85% of the time.
59
00:02:14,252 --> 00:02:15,785
Wow, I find that
hard to believe.
60
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,787
That a bunch of
awkward scientists
61
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,823
with no social skills
would invent a machine
62
00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:21,057
to do it for them?
63
00:02:21,059 --> 00:02:22,592
I take it back.
I believe it.
64
00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:26,429
You ift's at MIT,
I can make some calls.
65
00:02:26,431 --> 00:02:28,098
Maybe we can
get Sheldon a prototype.
66
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,933
What do you think?
67
00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:33,570
A machine that reads
emotions is intriguing.
68
00:02:33,572 --> 00:02:36,573
It could help me be a
more considerate friend.
69
00:02:36,575 --> 00:02:38,108
Wouldn't that be nice.
70
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,709
It could also help me
identify my enemies,
71
00:02:39,711 --> 00:02:42,946
discover their
fears and then...
72
00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:46,516
I could use those
fears to destroy them.
73
00:02:47,719 --> 00:02:50,654
I like the first one.
74
00:02:50,656 --> 00:02:54,290
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
75
00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:57,661
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
76
00:02:57,663 --> 00:02:59,262
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
77
00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:01,798
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
78
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,467
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
79
00:03:04,469 --> 00:03:07,137
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
80
00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:09,039
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
81
00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:09,530
♪ Bang! ♪
82
00:03:09,531 --> 00:03:13,531
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x14 ♪
The Emotion Detection Automation
Original
83
00:03:13,555 --> 00:03:20,155
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
84
00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:21,576
Now that Sheldon's
across the hall,
85
00:03:21,578 --> 00:03:23,445
have you decided what
you're doing with his old room?
86
00:03:23,447 --> 00:03:27,048
I was thinking maybe a
library or a gaming room.
87
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:28,850
You could make it a train room.
88
00:03:28,852 --> 00:03:30,452
I don't like trains.
You like trains.
89
00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:33,188
I know, and Amy says
I can't have a train room.
90
00:03:34,524 --> 00:03:37,425
Sheldon, I just heard
from the guys at MIT
91
00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:39,094
about that emotion reader;
they're sending a prototype
92
00:03:39,096 --> 00:03:40,195
for you to beta test.
93
00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:41,696
(gasps)
Wonderful.
94
00:03:41,698 --> 00:03:43,098
Although I'm not sure
how I feel
95
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,066
about being used
as a guinea pig.
96
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:48,169
Well, when you get
the machine, you can find out.
97
00:03:48,171 --> 00:03:50,472
Maybe I could use it
98
00:03:50,474 --> 00:03:53,174
to understand why
women keep dumping me.
99
00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:55,443
Oh, you don't need a machine for
that, just send a survey card
100
00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,811
to all your ex-girlfriends
and tell them
101
00:03:56,813 --> 00:03:59,547
if they fill it out
they might win a prize.
102
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:02,217
That's actually not a bad idea.
Maybe I could even
103
00:04:02,219 --> 00:04:05,153
get them all together,
sort of like a... a focus group,
104
00:04:05,155 --> 00:04:06,354
to find out
what's wrong with me.
105
00:04:06,356 --> 00:04:09,357
(chuckles) No, Raj,
that's a terrible idea.
106
00:04:09,359 --> 00:04:10,692
Yeah, I was joking.
107
00:04:10,694 --> 00:04:12,394
You... Really?
108
00:04:12,396 --> 00:04:14,362
Uh, little tip: jokes
are often better
109
00:04:14,364 --> 00:04:17,866
when you end them with "Wocka
Wocka" or "ha-cha-cha."
110
00:04:19,936 --> 00:04:22,570
Hey, great news. The
TV I want will fit
111
00:04:22,572 --> 00:04:24,806
in the gaming room, and if
I leave the curtains open,
112
00:04:24,808 --> 00:04:27,642
I can watch it from work.
113
00:04:27,644 --> 00:04:29,744
Hey, can you hold off
redoing the room?
114
00:04:29,746 --> 00:04:31,813
My brother's
coming out here in a few weeks.
115
00:04:31,815 --> 00:04:34,115
Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. What's
going on with your brother?
116
00:04:34,117 --> 00:04:36,551
My dad asked if I can get him
a job interview at my work.
117
00:04:36,553 --> 00:04:38,653
Huh. Is that a good idea?
118
00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:40,488
I mean, you think
they'll consider someone
119
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,190
who was in prison
for selling drugs?
120
00:04:42,192 --> 00:04:44,325
Well, I sell pharmaceuticals.
121
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:48,396
That's just a really hard
to spell word for drugs.
122
00:04:48,398 --> 00:04:50,365
Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate
123
00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:54,702
carrying his samples in a
briefcase instead of his colon.
124
00:04:56,072 --> 00:04:57,939
How long do you think
he'll stay?
125
00:04:57,941 --> 00:05:00,108
I-I'm not sure.
Maybe a few days.
126
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:02,243
Unless he gets the job,
then who knows?
127
00:05:02,245 --> 00:05:03,912
Hmm. "Who knows?"
That's exciting.
128
00:05:03,914 --> 00:05:05,580
I'll get to wake up
every morning
129
00:05:05,582 --> 00:05:07,649
and see if he's still here.
130
00:05:07,651 --> 00:05:10,452
You don't have a problem
with this, do you?
131
00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:12,353
Of course not. I mean,
he's your brother.
132
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,222
Okay. Thank you,
you're the best. Mm.
133
00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:16,724
Remember that when the
new TV falls off the wall
134
00:05:16,726 --> 00:05:18,560
and crushes us both.
135
00:05:20,897 --> 00:05:22,664
This thing's pretty cool.
136
00:05:22,666 --> 00:05:23,965
It interprets emotions
137
00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:26,968
using a wireless signal
to analyze subtle changes
138
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,570
in breathing and heart rate.
139
00:05:28,572 --> 00:05:30,338
It's amazing a machine
can do that.
140
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:31,306
Yes.
141
00:05:31,308 --> 00:05:32,640
Now, when the robots rise up,
142
00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:33,942
they'll know that
I've been rooting
143
00:05:33,944 --> 00:05:36,044
for them the whole time.
144
00:05:37,013 --> 00:05:38,913
The display is synced
to your phone.
145
00:05:38,915 --> 00:05:40,482
Give it a try.
146
00:05:40,484 --> 00:05:41,616
All right.
147
00:05:41,618 --> 00:05:43,051
Now, I'm gonna look
at some pictures
148
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:44,886
to prompt an emotional response,
and we'll see
149
00:05:44,888 --> 00:05:47,322
if the machine
can identify them accurately.
150
00:05:47,324 --> 00:05:48,756
Okay, remember,
it can only detect happy, sad,
151
00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:49,891
angry and excited.
152
00:05:49,893 --> 00:05:51,159
Not other things
you're feeling, like,
153
00:05:51,161 --> 00:05:53,495
"What have I done
with my life?"
154
00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:59,968
Okay, I'm looking
at the first picture.
155
00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:02,804
You are...
156
00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:04,038
happy?
157
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,674
Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
158
00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:09,444
Aw. Somebody's ignoring
their tiny needle teeth,
159
00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:10,812
but all right.
160
00:06:11,781 --> 00:06:13,781
Try another one.
Okay.
161
00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:16,417
What does it say I'm feeling?
162
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,119
Sad.
163
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,588
Yes. I'm looking
at a picture of my grandma.
164
00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:23,825
Oh, that makes sense, 'cause
she's gone and you miss her.
165
00:06:23,827 --> 00:06:25,393
Yes.
166
00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:27,529
And you're worried that
turkey neck is in your future.
167
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:33,134
What, now, see...
Now it says you're mad.
168
00:06:33,136 --> 00:06:35,570
Make up your mind.
169
00:06:38,575 --> 00:06:39,574
Okay, Emily.
170
00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:40,909
Yeah, sounds great.
171
00:06:40,911 --> 00:06:42,510
(chuckles)
See you then.
172
00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:44,612
Is that Emily
your ex-girlfriend?
173
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:46,014
Yeah. I'm getting
all my exes
174
00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:47,849
together in order to discuss
175
00:06:47,851 --> 00:06:48,950
why they broke up with me
176
00:06:48,952 --> 00:06:50,885
and how I can be
a better boyfriend.
177
00:06:50,887 --> 00:06:52,353
Oh, God. You went
through with that?
178
00:06:52,355 --> 00:06:53,955
What is wrong with you?
179
00:06:53,957 --> 00:06:55,924
We are going to find out.
180
00:06:57,594 --> 00:06:59,294
Why would you
do that, Raj?
181
00:06:59,296 --> 00:07:01,996
Well, I want information
in order to improve myself.
182
00:07:01,998 --> 00:07:03,665
You're not gonna get
information,
183
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:06,935
you're just gonna get criticism
that hurts your feelings.
184
00:07:06,937 --> 00:07:08,136
Don't worry, I'm a grown man.
185
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,737
I have a thick skin.
186
00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:10,872
(chuckles):
You're so stupid.
187
00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:12,473
Hey!
188
00:07:15,278 --> 00:07:17,745
Hey, would you take a look
at my brother's résumé?
189
00:07:17,747 --> 00:07:19,380
I'm trying to help
him clean it up a little.
190
00:07:19,382 --> 00:07:20,748
Yeah, sure.
191
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:25,653
He really worked with
the Drug Enforcement Agency?
192
00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:28,690
He didn't know it
till he was cuffed, but yeah.
193
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:32,594
Hey, Leonard, if you're happy
and you know it,
194
00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:33,962
no need to clap your hands,
195
00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:38,199
because I have
an emotion detector.
196
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:39,367
How's it working out?
197
00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,602
Surprisingly well.
198
00:07:40,604 --> 00:07:41,936
That's great, I'm happy for you.
199
00:07:41,938 --> 00:07:44,105
No, wait, uh, hold on.
200
00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:46,541
Oh, what, you are.
Aren't you sweet?
201
00:07:48,078 --> 00:07:49,410
What's that? Are you working
on your resume?
202
00:07:49,412 --> 00:07:50,612
No, it's my brother's.
I'm trying
203
00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:52,080
to help him get a job out here.
204
00:07:52,082 --> 00:07:54,816
Oh, ooh! And that makes
Leonard angry.
205
00:07:56,086 --> 00:07:57,719
No, it doesn't.
206
00:07:57,721 --> 00:08:00,488
What, Leonard, please. I know
an angry face when I see it.
207
00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:03,391
It's this red frowny guy
on my phone.
208
00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:06,527
What? Are you really upset
about Randall coming?
209
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:09,130
No.
Yes.
210
00:08:09,132 --> 00:08:12,033
I said no.
I-It's like you're twins.
211
00:08:12,035 --> 00:08:15,169
Leonard, if you're mad
about this, just tell me.
212
00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:16,838
(sighs)
Fine.
213
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,641
You invited your drug dealer
brother to stay with us
214
00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:22,677
for God knows how long and
didn't bother to ask me first.
215
00:08:22,679 --> 00:08:23,811
He's my brother!
216
00:08:23,813 --> 00:08:25,213
I didn't think
I needed your permission.
217
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:27,181
Well, hey.
Now she's angry, too.
218
00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:29,751
This thing works
like gangbusters.
219
00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:40,273
I'm not saying you have
to ask my permission,
220
00:08:40,274 --> 00:08:41,504
but you could have talked
to me about it
221
00:08:41,505 --> 00:08:42,737
before you said it was okay.
222
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,706
Like you talked to me
about your gaming room?
223
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:46,041
Our gaming room!
224
00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:48,810
I was gonna put
a scented candle in it.
225
00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:51,146
He's still mad.
226
00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:53,048
Stop enjoying their fight.
227
00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:55,617
You first.
228
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:58,253
If you were this upset,
229
00:08:58,255 --> 00:08:59,854
why didn't you say so
when I told you?
230
00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:02,057
Because I didn't want
to sound like a jerk.
231
00:09:02,059 --> 00:09:03,858
Well, you sound like one now.
I don't see the big deal
232
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,860
if my brother comes
and stays for a while.
233
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:07,963
If you get him a job,
he's gonna live here forever!
234
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,531
He would get his own place.
235
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,066
Has he ever had his own place?
236
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,000
Yes!
237
00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:13,101
Did it have a metal toilet
238
00:09:13,103 --> 00:09:14,869
next to the bed?
239
00:09:15,706 --> 00:09:17,138
It still counts.
240
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,074
You know, how is this
any different
241
00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,909
from you making me
live with Sheldon?
242
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:21,977
You... Hey!
243
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:25,046
I shared my Honey Nut
Cheerios with you.
244
00:09:26,016 --> 00:09:28,917
You gave me a bill
at the end of every month.
245
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:32,220
Stay out of this.
246
00:09:32,222 --> 00:09:33,588
You and your stupid machine
started this fight!
247
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:35,824
(gasps) You are lucky
that this feelings machine
248
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,892
doesn't have feelings.
249
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,928
Come on, Sheldon,
let's go.
250
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,197
Gladly.
Can we storm out?
251
00:09:42,199 --> 00:09:44,466
I think it loses its impact
if we're chatting about it.
252
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:45,600
Fine.
253
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:49,271
I'll just give them the finger.
254
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,009
Okay, first off,
255
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:57,012
I want to thank you all
so much for coming.
256
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,514
Howard is here to
interpret for Emily,
257
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,983
and to take notes.
258
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:06,021
No, he doesn't
think it's stupid.
259
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:09,557
Uh, heads up, both of
you are named Emily,
260
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:10,892
so we'll call you
261
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,160
"red-headed Emily"
262
00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:13,161
and you,
263
00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:16,564
"red-headed Emily, Junior."
264
00:10:20,671 --> 00:10:22,504
Hey, you went out
with him. I didn't.
265
00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:26,541
Okay, uh, let's get
things started.
266
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,144
Um, why don't we go
around the room,
267
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,412
say your name,
268
00:10:30,414 --> 00:10:32,314
and why you broke up with me.
269
00:10:32,316 --> 00:10:33,348
Want to kick it off?
270
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:37,218
Oh, okay. Um... I'm Lucy,
271
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,220
and I broke up with Raj
272
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,556
because I have
severe social anxiety,
273
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,724
and he kept trying
to force me
274
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,860
into uncomfortable situations.
275
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,529
Like this one?
276
00:10:47,531 --> 00:10:50,031
Yeah.
277
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:51,366
I did do that.
278
00:10:51,368 --> 00:10:53,635
I can be insensitive
to other people's boundaries.
279
00:10:53,637 --> 00:10:54,703
Howard, would you
write that down?
280
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:57,806
Oh... schmuck. Got it.
281
00:10:57,808 --> 00:10:59,107
Uh, next?
282
00:10:59,943 --> 00:11:01,843
Okay. Um...
283
00:11:01,845 --> 00:11:02,877
I'm Claire.
284
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,979
And I guess
I broke up with you
285
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:07,482
because you were just
really needy.
286
00:11:07,484 --> 00:11:08,750
Also, you were
287
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,652
incredibly vain--
like, all the time you spent
288
00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:12,020
shaping your eyebrows...
289
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:14,656
Okay, new rule--
everybody only gets one.
290
00:11:15,525 --> 00:11:16,891
Uh, next?
291
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,194
Ooh, I'm not sure
I'm comfortable
292
00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:21,896
sharing details about our
relationship in front of Howard.
293
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,232
Oh. He's here to support me,
so anything you have to say
294
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:25,734
you can say in
front of him.
295
00:11:25,736 --> 00:11:28,903
Okay. Well, whenever
you and I were in bed...
296
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,072
Howard, get out.
297
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:33,808
Not a chance.
(chuckles)
298
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:37,846
So, you were telling us
how Raj was terrible in bed.
299
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,051
Sheldon, dinner's ready.
300
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:45,487
I made beef loaf, because
I know you're uncomfortable
301
00:11:45,489 --> 00:11:49,324
with the non-specificity
of meat loaf.
302
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:50,792
Sheldon?
303
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,765
Hey, are you okay?
304
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,266
Not really.
305
00:11:58,268 --> 00:11:59,667
What's going on?
306
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,770
I wish I never tried
that device.
307
00:12:01,772 --> 00:12:02,971
And I know I said
308
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,372
the same thing
after the massage chair,
309
00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:06,408
but this time I mean it.
310
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,676
I'm sorry Leonard and Penny
311
00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:10,044
hurt your feelings.
312
00:12:10,046 --> 00:12:11,880
It's more than that.
313
00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:13,181
It's me.
314
00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:14,616
I always knew
315
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:16,718
I had trouble recognizing
other people's emotions,
316
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,821
but that machine
just made it so real.
317
00:12:20,757 --> 00:12:21,956
Well, everybody has things
318
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,258
that they need help with.
319
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,794
Like me-- I can't see
without my glasses.
320
00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:28,930
And right now you're just a,
a cute, pink smudge wearing
321
00:12:28,932 --> 00:12:31,232
a childish green smudge.
322
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:34,903
I thought I was getting better
at it, but clearly I'm not.
323
00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:37,405
Yes, you are.
324
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,107
There have definitely been days
325
00:12:39,109 --> 00:12:41,643
when I was sad
and you could tell.
326
00:12:41,645 --> 00:12:43,711
Yeah, but that's
shooting fish in a barrel.
327
00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:45,447
You're kind of a sad sack.
328
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:50,051
I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have said that.
329
00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:51,352
I'm just upset.
330
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,588
No, see, right there,
331
00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,390
you knew you hurt my feelings.
332
00:12:55,392 --> 00:12:56,891
And I'm proud of you--
333
00:12:56,893 --> 00:13:00,528
for reasons I'm sure have
something to do with my father.
334
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,697
And if you don't like
335
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,800
that machine, get rid of it.
336
00:13:05,802 --> 00:13:08,570
Because I love you
exactly the way you are.
337
00:13:16,313 --> 00:13:18,746
I feel the same way about you.
338
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,916
Now, put your glasses back on.
339
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:23,117
You look weird.
340
00:13:27,357 --> 00:13:29,557
I thought you
were great,
341
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,826
but, oh, my God,
you were
342
00:13:31,828 --> 00:13:33,261
so dominated
by your parents.
343
00:13:33,263 --> 00:13:34,729
EMILY:
Oh, yeah, and that used
344
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,897
to drive me nuts.
345
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,165
He's kind of
a mama's boy.
346
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:38,666
Kind of?
KOOTHRAPPALI: Whoa, okay!
347
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:40,235
That's enough.
348
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:43,171
Write down "loving son."
349
00:13:44,341 --> 00:13:46,341
Can I just say something?
350
00:13:46,343 --> 00:13:47,809
Going out with Raj
351
00:13:47,811 --> 00:13:50,945
was one of the best things
that ever happened to me.
352
00:13:50,947 --> 00:13:53,181
Yes, I'll take you back.
353
00:13:55,619 --> 00:13:57,352
(chuckles):
Let me finish.
354
00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:59,921
It's like I needed
to go through that experience
355
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:03,258
to know what exactly
I don't want in a man.
356
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,961
Well, that's hard to hear,
but I'll still take you back.
357
00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:09,864
You know, the same
thing happened to me.
358
00:14:09,866 --> 00:14:12,634
After I broke up
with Raj, I met Gary,
359
00:14:12,636 --> 00:14:14,669
who's just amazing.
360
00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,404
Sorry, is that "Gary"
with one R or two?
361
00:14:16,406 --> 00:14:18,373
Would you stop writing?!
362
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:20,942
Just wait. So...
did all of you
363
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,478
go on to better
relationships after me?
364
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,145
Oh, yeah.
365
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:25,179
Without question.
366
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:27,382
Little before, actually.
367
00:14:30,754 --> 00:14:32,654
Oh, wow.
(chuckles)
368
00:14:32,656 --> 00:14:34,155
Don't let him get away.
369
00:14:34,157 --> 00:14:35,290
Wait.
370
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,391
What did she say?
371
00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:38,426
Uh, basically,
she traded you
372
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:40,128
for Bruce Wayne.
373
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:44,065
(sighs) Okay, maybe we
should just end this.
374
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,700
(sighs)
Wait, hang on.
375
00:14:45,702 --> 00:14:48,369
I just want to point out
to everyone here,
376
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:51,806
this is a man who
is going to great lengths
377
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,241
to better himself.
378
00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:55,343
Even at the
risk of...
379
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:56,778
(chuckles):
being humiliated.
380
00:14:56,780 --> 00:14:59,380
And I, for one,
think that's very brave.
381
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:00,949
Thank you, Howard.
382
00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:04,686
Honestly, I'm surprised
you two didn't wind up together.
383
00:15:06,957 --> 00:15:09,958
Well, like you gals,
I had to suffer through him
384
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,759
to find Bernadette.
385
00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:14,796
(goofy voice):
With it were you.
386
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,367
Yes?
387
00:15:19,369 --> 00:15:21,436
We owe you an apology.
388
00:15:21,438 --> 00:15:24,105
Oh, it's fine.
You needed a suitcase,
389
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:26,608
I wasn't home,
you borrowed a suitcase.
390
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:30,011
That was six years ago.
I'm talking about tonight.
391
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,212
Oh.
392
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:33,948
Well, I thought
we were going in order.
393
00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:37,285
Look, we got really angry
at each other, and you
394
00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:38,686
just got caught in
the middle of it.
395
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,520
LEONARD:
And...
396
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,089
sorry about the suitcase.
397
00:15:41,091 --> 00:15:42,090
Yeah, well, you should be.
398
00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:43,157
Your socks were still in it.
399
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,659
I had to throw it away.
400
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:46,494
Anyway,
401
00:15:46,496 --> 00:15:48,029
I, uh, trust that you've
resolved your conflict.
402
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,964
Yes, we're fine.
403
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:51,466
Mm, Penny's gonna call her dad
and tell him it's not
404
00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:52,867
a good time
for Randall to visit.
405
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,402
Hopefully, he won't
be too upset.
406
00:15:54,404 --> 00:15:57,171
Oh, you're his little girl--
he can't stay mad at you.
407
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,574
He won't be mad at me.
I mean, you're the one
408
00:15:59,576 --> 00:16:01,876
who doesn't want my
brother to come, so...
409
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:04,879
So you're gonna throw me
under the bus?
410
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,514
Oh, I'm gonna
throw you so hard,
411
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:09,550
I might actually win
a stuffed animal.
412
00:16:11,488 --> 00:16:14,489
Uh, guys, it sounds like
you're getting angry again.
413
00:16:14,491 --> 00:16:15,657
That's because we are.
414
00:16:15,659 --> 00:16:16,724
Yes!
415
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,992
I don't need
an emotion machine!
416
00:16:17,994 --> 00:16:19,427
I am one!
417
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,400
Thanks, ladies!
This was fun!
418
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:29,337
Let's not wait so long for
another bizarre, awkward night.
419
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,206
Well, that was a waste of time.
420
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,608
I'm such an idiot.
421
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:34,776
Don't beat yourself up.
422
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:36,611
That's what I'm here for.
423
00:16:36,613 --> 00:16:37,879
Maybe I won't settle down.
424
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:39,514
Maybe I'll just
play the field.
425
00:16:39,516 --> 00:16:41,149
Yeah, the field
was just here.
426
00:16:41,151 --> 00:16:43,084
The field said no.
427
00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:46,220
Dude, come on.
428
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:47,789
(sighs)
Okay, I'll tell you what.
429
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:49,023
I'll make you a deal.
430
00:16:49,025 --> 00:16:51,025
30 years from now,
if you're still single
431
00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:53,361
and things don't work out
with me and Bernadette...
432
00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:56,364
you and I can give it a go.
433
00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:58,566
I appreciate the offer,
but if things don't work out
434
00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:01,202
with you two, I'm swooping in
on her like a vulture.
435
00:17:02,038 --> 00:17:04,906
Too late.
Stuart called dibs.
436
00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:07,942
But theoretically,
if you and I
437
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,044
were in a gay relationship,
438
00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:11,746
how would we tell people?
439
00:17:11,748 --> 00:17:13,981
Like, print up announcements?
440
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:16,784
(chuckles) I don't know.
What difference does it make?
441
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,353
Well, I want to make sure we
get invited to all the parades.
442
00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:21,756
Those do look fun.
443
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:24,659
Yeah. Well, if you want
to march in a fishnet crop top,
444
00:17:24,661 --> 00:17:26,961
you better lay off
that dip.
445
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,329
If you didn't want me to eat it,
446
00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:30,064
why'd you put it out?
It was for the girls.
447
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:32,667
They broke up with me--
I don't care if they get fat.
448
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,303
I'm not gonna get fat.
449
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,573
Oh, you want to bet?
You never exercise.
450
00:17:38,575 --> 00:17:41,576
Fine. Look, I'll
exercise right now.
451
00:17:41,578 --> 00:17:44,445
(strained grunting):
One...
452
00:17:44,447 --> 00:17:46,347
two...
453
00:17:46,349 --> 00:17:47,782
(crunching)
454
00:17:47,784 --> 00:17:49,016
These are crunches, by the way.
455
00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:50,184
Very mature.
456
00:17:50,186 --> 00:17:51,219
Keep eating like that.
457
00:17:51,221 --> 00:17:52,186
You're gonna have
a heart attack.
458
00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:54,922
Okay. How about
if I eat like this?
459
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,059
Mmm...
460
00:17:58,061 --> 00:18:00,528
(laughing):
You're such a child.
461
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,531
Hey, is that any way to talk
to your future husband?
462
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:04,932
Hey, I was being
hypothetical, okay?
463
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:07,101
I would never marry you.
Please.
464
00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:08,803
When you see the ring I pick
out, you're gonna melt.
465
00:18:08,805 --> 00:18:09,804
Yeah, right.
466
00:18:09,806 --> 00:18:11,172
Wait, is it rose gold?
467
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,708
Actually, don't tell me.
I want to be surprised.
468
00:18:23,416 --> 00:18:25,749
So, did you wind up sending
that machine back?
469
00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:28,352
I did. You know, I'm not
even sure how accurate it was.
470
00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:32,022
I took it to the train store--
it said everyone was sad.
471
00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:35,826
I finally
got Halley to sleep.
472
00:18:35,828 --> 00:18:38,028
You know, I just read
a study that suggests
473
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,130
new mothers are better
at sensing emotions
474
00:18:40,132 --> 00:18:41,432
for up to two years.
475
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:42,366
AMY:
It's true.
476
00:18:42,368 --> 00:18:44,234
Pregnancy causes
physiological changes
477
00:18:44,236 --> 00:18:46,570
in the brain that result
in increased empathy.
478
00:18:46,572 --> 00:18:48,872
all we need to do
is get Sheldon knocked up.
479
00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:53,410
We can't. He was already fixed
when I found him at the shelter.
480
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,447
Hey, uh, Bernadette,
let's test this theory.
481
00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:58,882
What do you think
I'm feeling right now?
482
00:18:58,884 --> 00:19:00,384
Let's see.
483
00:19:00,386 --> 00:19:03,420
You're better than us,
a little bit sorry for us,
484
00:19:03,422 --> 00:19:07,491
but mostly glad
you don't have to be us.
485
00:19:09,495 --> 00:19:11,295
Keep filling this one
with babies. She's good.
486
00:19:14,106 --> 00:19:20,906
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man