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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
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I was offered a summer research
fellowship at Princeton.
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Princeton.
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A fine institution.
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The place where
Albert Einstein taught,
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and where Leonard got his PhD,
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so it may have gone downhill.
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00:00:21,153 --> 00:00:23,320
And just remember,
I'm proud of you.
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And I support you
in all that you do.
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Thank you.
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That means a lot.
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Oh, and one last thing.
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If you find yourself
working with a male scientist,
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who's as smart as
me, as tall as me,
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and has hair like Thor,
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well, then, I want you to
step away from the situation
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and call me immediately.
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How are you settling in?
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Pretty well.
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Princeton has
a beautiful campus.
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Now, I've learned some fun facts
about New Jersey
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to help you make small talk.
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Would you like to know
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the state bird
or the murder rate?
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They're both shocking.
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Actually, I want to hear
about you.
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How are things at home?
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Well, I'm a lot less likely
to see an Eastern Goldfinch
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or be murdered,
I'll tell you that.
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I miss you.
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I miss you, too.
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It's so strange, earlier today
I ended a sentence
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with a preposition
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and you weren't there
to correct my grammar.
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I'm sorry you had
to go through that.
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In fact,
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that's when
I started to really miss you.
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You know you just split
an infinitive.
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Did I?
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Are you gonna teach me a lesson?
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I am.
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It is naughty to put an adverb
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between the word "to"
and the verb stem.
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What are you gonna do about it?
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I'm going to admonish you.
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Vigorously?
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That's the only kind
of admonishing I do.
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:02:03,872 --> 00:02:07,407
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:02:09,178 --> 00:02:11,962
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:13,864
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x24 ♪
The Long Distance Dissonance
Original Air
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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How's Sheldon doing
with Amy gone?
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Well, the last three nights
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00:02:28,268 --> 00:02:30,519
I've had to take him
to get a haircut,
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to the train store,
and to a Walgreens in Arcadia
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where they still have
the "good ibuprofen."
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Now ask me how I'm doing
with Amy gone.
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How are you doing with...
Shut up.
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If you'd like,
we can help you out.
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Oh, that would be great.
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I mean, not me,
I've got a wife and child,
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but this one posts video of
himself flossing on Instagram.
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It was a tutorial.
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And yes, I'm happy to keep
Sheldon company.
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Great. Tonight he wants to
look at ladders at Home Depot.
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Oh, why does he need a ladder?
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He doesn't; he just
likes looking at them.
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Bring a book.
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Gentlemen.
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You may remember Dr. Nowitzki,
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She's back at Caltech
for her postdoc.
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- Hello.
- Hello. - Hi.
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Oh, let me bring
a chair for you.
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Oh, thanks.
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Dr. Nowitzki's
going to tell me
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about the work
she did at CERN.
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And she brought me this
duty-free Toblerone.
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Oh. I love those.
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Let's sit somewhere else.
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What just happened?
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A stranger just lured Sheldon
away with a candy bar.
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Wait, isn't she the grad student
that used to follow him around?
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Oh, yeah.
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Back before he hit puberty
and grew man parts.
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So what do you guys
think that's about?
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Knowing Sheldon, nothing.
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So, tell me about your
scalar dark energy experiment.
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Not 'til you tell me
about your latest paper
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on quantum loop theory.
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Oh. You must be one of those
dessert before dinner people.
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He just made her laugh,
something's wrong.
98
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Do you see the way
she's looking at him?
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Yeah. Like Bernadette
used to look at me.
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I keep telling you,
close the bathroom door.
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Ah, did you see that?
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She just touched his hand
and he didn't swat it away.
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What is happening?
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Okay, the simplest explanation
is usually the right one.
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Which is?
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That ain't Sheldon.
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Not only did
they eat together,
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Leonard said he
made her laugh.
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That's nothing,
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Howie said
she touched his hand.
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Did he Purell?
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No.
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I cannot believe Leonard
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mentioned the Toblerone
but left that part out.
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Should we call Amy?
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I don't know; we shouldn't worry
her if it's nothing.
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I guess we could wait till
we have more information
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about this girl.
Yeah.
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Do you think living with Amy
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00:05:01,255 --> 00:05:03,839
has somehow stirred up
Sheldon's...
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sexual appetite?
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Ugh.
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How can you think that?
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Why would you even
put those words together?
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All right,
then we agree.
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He's not making
any moves,
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it's this
Dr. Ramona chick.
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Nowitzki. I Googled her,
she's pretty cute.
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Really? All I
got from Leonard
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was the Toblerone bar had nuts.
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And get this,
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I saw an articulating ladder
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with dual-leg leveling,
which delivers stability
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and adaptability
to uneven terrain.
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Sounds like a big night.
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Yeah. Raj made the funniest
joke, he said,
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"Which is the best ladder to use
to hang myself?"
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So you're keeping busy?
You're not lonely?
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Oh, not at all.
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I've had outings with Leonard
and Raj in the evening,
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00:06:01,231 --> 00:06:04,249
and-- oh, I had lunch
with Dr. Nowitzki.
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Who's he?
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00:06:05,335 --> 00:06:06,985
Oh, Dr. Nowitzki is a woman.
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00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,153
Oh. Really?
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Uh, when did you meet her?
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Many years ago.
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Back when she was
a grad student.
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She's always been
a huge fan of my work,
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00:06:14,077 --> 00:06:16,461
and now she's doing
research at Caltech.
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Huge fan, you say?
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Yes. I think you'd like her.
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She's extremely intelligent,
just like you.
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Unlike you,
she's tall, blonde
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and used to be
an Olympic swimmer.
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That's terrific.
I'll call you right back.
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Oh, hey, Amy.
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I gave you one job!
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Keep an eye on him.
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How hard is that?
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We thought you meant
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not letting him
run out into traffic.
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Which he only did once.
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Yeah.
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Why didn't you tell me?
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We didn't want you to worry.
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Should I worry?
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No. Come on,
it's Sheldon.
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Nothing is gonna happen.
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That's what you said to me
when I started dating him.
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And then five years later,
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bingo-bango, something happened.
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Yeah, but you're gonna
be back in three months.
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You don't get it.
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I've been smacking that
ketchup bottle for a long time.
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All she's got to do
is tip it over
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and point it at her fries.
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00:07:21,194 --> 00:07:23,311
Well, what do you
want us to do?
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I don't know.
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Might be the New Jersey talking,
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00:07:26,149 --> 00:07:29,985
but this Nowitzki broad
needs to disappear.
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That's ridiculous.
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00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:33,538
As far as we know,
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00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,374
all that happened is two
scientists had lunch.
184
00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:37,993
Yeah, but one of
those scientists
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00:07:37,995 --> 00:07:40,328
is a tall,
blonde Olympic swimmer.
186
00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:43,014
Come on. Looks don't matter
to Sheldon.
187
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Because he only
has eyes for you.
188
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Nice try.
189
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Thanks.
I was scrambling.
190
00:07:54,811 --> 00:07:56,227
It's unbelievable.
191
00:07:56,229 --> 00:07:58,063
Sheldon has lunch
with another woman
192
00:07:58,065 --> 00:08:00,682
and somehow my wife
yells at me.
193
00:08:00,684 --> 00:08:02,517
Penny laid into me, too.
194
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:07,188
Apparently, I'm overly fixated
on premium Swiss chocolate bars.
195
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:10,041
Can you even eat those things?
196
00:08:10,043 --> 00:08:11,860
If I take a Lactaid
a half-hour before
197
00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:13,995
and some Pepto right after.
198
00:08:13,997 --> 00:08:15,580
Sounds like a lot of work.
199
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,866
Yeah. Eh, I'm worth it.
200
00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:20,502
Guys. Focus.
201
00:08:20,504 --> 00:08:22,203
Should we do something
about Nowitzki?
202
00:08:22,205 --> 00:08:24,506
Like what?
203
00:08:24,508 --> 00:08:26,041
Uh, well, she's single,
204
00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:28,677
so if somebody else asks her out
and she says yes,
205
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:30,879
then we know
she's not into Sheldon.
206
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:32,597
I'll do it.
207
00:08:36,353 --> 00:08:38,887
No offense, Stuart,
208
00:08:38,889 --> 00:08:41,022
but Th-Th-the
woman's a doctor.
209
00:08:41,024 --> 00:08:43,408
So? Doctors like me.
210
00:08:43,410 --> 00:08:45,443
Whenever I see mine he calls in
211
00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:48,563
a bunch of other
doctors to have a look.
212
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,617
She's not that
kind of doctor.
213
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:53,985
Oh.
214
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:55,403
Well, her loss.
215
00:08:55,405 --> 00:08:59,574
I've been called
a genuine medical oddity.
216
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:06,664
Actually, I was
going to suggest me.
217
00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:09,634
Great. Anybody's
better than, mmm.
218
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,303
Excuse me.
219
00:09:12,305 --> 00:09:14,305
They took out my spleen
and gallbladder,
220
00:09:14,307 --> 00:09:16,508
not my feelings.
221
00:09:23,850 --> 00:09:25,183
Dr. Nowitzki.
222
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:27,569
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
223
00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:28,903
May I join you?
224
00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:30,405
No.
225
00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:35,110
Good to see you.
226
00:09:38,048 --> 00:09:40,665
We should call Guinness,
that might be a record.
227
00:09:42,035 --> 00:09:44,035
She's clearly having
a working lunch
228
00:09:44,037 --> 00:09:46,371
and preferred to eat alone.
229
00:09:46,373 --> 00:09:48,840
Dr. Cooper, over here.
230
00:09:50,427 --> 00:09:53,962
I could have made her
very happy.
231
00:09:53,964 --> 00:09:56,681
You kept walking.
I think you did.
232
00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:01,636
Do you really think
there's reason to worry?
233
00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:03,888
Yeah, she's definitely
going after Sheldon.
234
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,974
I made a play for her
and she shot me down.
235
00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:08,076
All right, well,
that doesn't prove anything.
236
00:10:08,078 --> 00:10:11,813
Yeah, there's a million reasons
a woman would shoot Raj down.
237
00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:15,316
Like, really, a million?
238
00:10:15,318 --> 00:10:16,484
Fine, hundreds.
239
00:10:16,486 --> 00:10:17,786
Thank you.
240
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:19,788
The point is
this could be nothing
241
00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:22,373
and we are all overreacting.
242
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:23,958
Hey, everybody.
243
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,326
This is my friend,
244
00:10:25,328 --> 00:10:26,795
Dr. Nowitzki.
Hi.
245
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:29,914
Hi.
246
00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:33,168
We just went swimming.
247
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,877
And you actually
got in a pool?
248
00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:40,462
I was scared,
249
00:10:40,464 --> 00:10:44,382
but I told myself it's
just a big bathtub.
250
00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:46,635
Then I got scared again
'cause there are
251
00:10:46,637 --> 00:10:48,553
all these strangers
in my bathtub.
252
00:10:49,489 --> 00:10:51,222
I was proud of him--
a lot of people
253
00:10:51,224 --> 00:10:53,058
don't put their face in
the water on the first day.
254
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:56,661
Well, I was hiding from a
bee, but it still counts.
255
00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:01,566
Can I just squeeze in here?
256
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:06,655
So, Sheldon, have
you talked to Amy?
257
00:11:06,657 --> 00:11:08,289
Yes, we Skyped this morning
258
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,908
and I'm sure I'll check in
with her before I go to sleep.
259
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:11,242
Sheldon talks about her
260
00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:12,994
all the time.
I can't wait to meet her.
261
00:11:12,996 --> 00:11:14,329
That is true.
262
00:11:14,331 --> 00:11:17,782
She keeps asking how long
Amy's going to be gone.
263
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,553
Uh, so, Ramona,
tell us about yourself.
264
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,204
Do you, do you
have a boyfriend?
265
00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:25,757
Leonard, your wife
is sitting right here.
266
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,676
What are you doing?
267
00:11:30,097 --> 00:11:32,681
No, my work doesn't leave me a
lot of time for relationships.
268
00:11:32,683 --> 00:11:34,933
I think you made that
very clear.
269
00:11:34,935 --> 00:11:38,520
She was part of the
American team at CERN.
270
00:11:38,522 --> 00:11:41,606
I had a front row seat when
they detected the Higgs boson.
271
00:11:41,608 --> 00:11:43,174
Do you know,
272
00:11:43,176 --> 00:11:45,026
I've corresponded
with Peter Higgs.
273
00:11:45,028 --> 00:11:46,611
Would you like to see
some of his letters?
274
00:11:46,613 --> 00:11:48,446
Absolutely.
I'll get them.
275
00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:50,699
Well, hang on,
I'll come with you.
276
00:11:50,701 --> 00:11:52,033
Oh, fun.
277
00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:54,202
Like a play date.
278
00:11:56,707 --> 00:11:58,373
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong,
but isn't that exactly
279
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:00,992
what we were supposed to stop
from happening?
280
00:12:00,994 --> 00:12:03,128
I threw my body at them,
281
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:05,764
what else did you want me to do?
282
00:12:06,566 --> 00:12:08,983
You think you should call Amy?
283
00:12:08,985 --> 00:12:11,269
You got fingers and a mouth,
you call her.
284
00:12:14,274 --> 00:12:15,890
Here you go.
285
00:12:15,892 --> 00:12:17,809
Are these all
from Peter Higgs?
286
00:12:17,811 --> 00:12:19,144
Hmm? Oh, no, no, no.
287
00:12:19,146 --> 00:12:20,528
They're from many
famous people.
288
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:21,896
See? Oh, like this one.
289
00:12:21,898 --> 00:12:23,398
This is from
Patrick Stewart.
290
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,900
It says if I come
to his house again,
291
00:12:25,902 --> 00:12:28,236
I get to meet his dogs.
292
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,908
Oh, excuse me.
293
00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:38,580
Hello, Sheldon.
Oh, hello, Amy.
294
00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:40,915
I was missing you again.
295
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,600
I miss you, too.
296
00:12:42,602 --> 00:12:44,085
Hey, this is good timing.
297
00:12:44,087 --> 00:12:46,921
Remember that Dr. Nowitzki
I told you about?
298
00:12:46,923 --> 00:12:48,323
She's right here.
299
00:12:48,325 --> 00:12:51,493
Sh-she's what?
300
00:12:52,429 --> 00:12:54,312
Hello.
301
00:12:54,314 --> 00:12:56,848
Hi.
302
00:12:56,850 --> 00:12:58,349
So nice to meet you.
303
00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:00,285
Uh-huh.
304
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,773
Hang on.
305
00:13:04,775 --> 00:13:06,908
Hello.
306
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,778
A little late, Leonard.
307
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,780
I'm sorry.
308
00:13:11,782 --> 00:13:14,032
What is Leonard doing
calling you at this hour?
309
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:16,167
It's not important.
310
00:13:16,169 --> 00:13:19,287
I must tell you, that seems
a little inappropriate.
311
00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:20,672
Don't you agree?
312
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:21,873
I do.
313
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:23,625
See?
314
00:13:23,627 --> 00:13:25,794
We both think so.
315
00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:29,681
All right, this
is making me crazy.
316
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,949
Somebody's got
to go over there.
317
00:13:30,951 --> 00:13:33,718
You got feet and legs,
you do it.
318
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:37,522
Will you with me?
319
00:13:37,524 --> 00:13:40,692
To do what?
Shake a can of nickels at them?
320
00:13:41,812 --> 00:13:44,562
We're being ridiculous.
321
00:13:44,564 --> 00:13:45,980
There's no way a woman
that attractive
322
00:13:45,982 --> 00:13:49,651
is trying to seduce
Sheldon Cooper.
323
00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:52,821
You done trying to make
yourself feel better?
324
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:56,207
No. I haven't played
the race card yet.
325
00:13:57,744 --> 00:14:00,829
Hey, I hate to
break up the party,
326
00:14:00,831 --> 00:14:04,499
but Amy says I'm tired
and have to go to bed.
327
00:14:05,685 --> 00:14:07,502
It was nice
seeing everybody.
328
00:14:07,504 --> 00:14:08,686
Thank you for dinner.
329
00:14:08,688 --> 00:14:10,021
Sure.
Our pleasure.
330
00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:12,390
Whatever.
331
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:14,008
Walk me to my car?
332
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:15,260
Of course.
333
00:14:15,262 --> 00:14:18,179
We'll all go.
334
00:14:33,446 --> 00:14:35,096
Excuse me.
335
00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:48,593
Pardon. I just need to... yeah.
336
00:14:58,889 --> 00:15:00,221
That was fun.
337
00:15:00,223 --> 00:15:02,440
It was like Mario Kart.
338
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:07,946
Bye.
339
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,530
We need to talk.
340
00:15:09,532 --> 00:15:11,366
Wh-- Is this about
Leonard and Amy?
341
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,117
I don't like it either.
342
00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:19,107
Okay, I know you don't have a
lot of experience with women,
343
00:15:19,109 --> 00:15:20,575
but Ramona seems to have
344
00:15:20,577 --> 00:15:22,627
a romantic interest in you.
345
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,395
That doesn't make any sense.
346
00:15:24,397 --> 00:15:26,180
She knows I have a girlfriend.
347
00:15:26,182 --> 00:15:28,166
Well, sometimes women
don't care.
348
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:30,251
Sometimes it makes them
want a guy even more.
349
00:15:30,253 --> 00:15:32,754
That may be true,
350
00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:35,173
but Dr. Nowitzki's
just a friend.
351
00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:37,592
In fact, I wouldn't have
even noticed she's a woman
352
00:15:37,594 --> 00:15:41,095
if she hadn't worn that bathing
suit that highlighted her bosom.
353
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:46,150
Okay. Um...
...let's try this.
354
00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:48,152
Think of yourself
as one of those
355
00:15:48,154 --> 00:15:50,738
limited edition toys
people like to collect.
356
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:53,775
I already do.
357
00:15:54,861 --> 00:15:56,861
Well, then you get it.
358
00:15:56,863 --> 00:15:59,280
Because there's
only one of me,
359
00:15:59,282 --> 00:16:00,832
I'm more valuable.
360
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,333
Right.
361
00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:04,369
Although, Amy's
already taken me
362
00:16:04,371 --> 00:16:07,538
out of my package
and played with me.
363
00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:12,944
Let's forget the toy thing,
okay?
364
00:16:12,946 --> 00:16:15,930
Um, maybe...
Penny, look. I appreciate your concern,
365
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:18,299
but I don't think
that's what's happening.
366
00:16:18,301 --> 00:16:21,102
All right. What do
you think is happening?
367
00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:24,222
I think Dr. Nowitzki is
a friendly colleague.
368
00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:28,192
I think you and Leonard need
to see a marriage counselor.
369
00:16:29,529 --> 00:16:31,396
And I need to
update my résumé
370
00:16:31,398 --> 00:16:33,648
to include swimming
as a special skill.
371
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:44,492
Don't look at me
like that, I tried.
372
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,853
Hey, did you eat yet?
373
00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:53,805
Uh, breakfast yes, lunch no.
374
00:16:53,807 --> 00:16:55,490
I did have a cough drop,
375
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:59,110
but that really rides the
line between sucking and eating.
376
00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,746
Well, perfect.
I made us sandwiches.
377
00:17:01,748 --> 00:17:03,531
How thoughtful.
378
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:04,699
Thank you.
379
00:17:04,701 --> 00:17:05,833
Mmm. No big deal,
380
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:07,619
I enjoy spending time with you.
381
00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:09,370
And I with you.
382
00:17:09,372 --> 00:17:11,623
Question:
383
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:15,376
are you seeking a romantic
relationship with me?
384
00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:17,929
What if I were?
385
00:17:17,931 --> 00:17:21,349
Well, that would raise
a number of problems.
386
00:17:21,351 --> 00:17:22,550
We're colleagues.
387
00:17:22,552 --> 00:17:24,102
I'm currently
in a relation...
388
00:17:31,978 --> 00:17:34,612
Excuse me a moment.
389
00:18:33,957 --> 00:18:34,956
Amy.
390
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:35,973
Amy.
391
00:18:35,975 --> 00:18:37,842
Amy.
392
00:18:55,224 --> 00:18:57,141
Will you marry me?
393
00:18:57,143 --> 00:19:03,943
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man