1 00:00:00,617 --> 00:00:02,460 Previously on "The Big Bang Theory"... 2 00:00:02,666 --> 00:00:04,594 So, Leonard, tell everyone your news. 3 00:00:04,662 --> 00:00:07,033 Oh, uh, I am starting a book. 4 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,440 That would be big news from Penny, 5 00:00:09,508 --> 00:00:11,443 but you've read a book before. 6 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,958 He means he's writing a book. 7 00:00:15,076 --> 00:00:17,857 I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. 8 00:00:17,972 --> 00:00:20,167 Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist 9 00:00:20,235 --> 00:00:22,247 who solves crimes using science. 10 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,544 - Oh, Leonard... - It's not about you! 11 00:00:26,505 --> 00:00:28,146 - Oh, boy. - What? 12 00:00:28,255 --> 00:00:30,326 They cast the new Professor Proton. 13 00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,318 - Is it Sheldon? - Not exactly. 14 00:00:32,386 --> 00:00:34,130 Wheaton! 15 00:00:34,198 --> 00:00:36,091 It's Wil Wheaton. 16 00:00:41,112 --> 00:00:42,279 Hey, what are you doing? 17 00:00:42,347 --> 00:00:44,366 I thought we were having dinner at Leonard and Penny's. 18 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:45,499 Oh, no. No, 19 00:00:45,591 --> 00:00:47,664 they're watching the new Professor Proton. 20 00:00:47,739 --> 00:00:49,513 I-I can't keep Wil Wheaton off the Internet, 21 00:00:49,581 --> 00:00:51,714 but I can keep him off my retinas. 22 00:00:52,299 --> 00:00:54,909 So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing? 23 00:00:54,985 --> 00:00:56,427 Of-Of course not. 24 00:00:56,504 --> 00:01:00,183 I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online. 25 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,574 Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen. 26 00:01:03,644 --> 00:01:06,464 I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet? 27 00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:08,902 Well, what if I watch it with you? 28 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:11,334 Maybe I won't like it and we can complain about it together. 29 00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,628 Get your own thing to complain about. 30 00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:15,998 Oh, trust me, I've got one. 31 00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:19,451 Look, at least if you watch it, 32 00:01:19,542 --> 00:01:22,565 maybe you can find more specific things to criticize. 33 00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:24,238 Ooh, that is a good point. 34 00:01:24,339 --> 00:01:27,464 Criticisms are more hurtful when they're specific. 35 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,146 ♪♪ 36 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,480 ♪ Grab your goggles ♪ 37 00:01:31,909 --> 00:01:33,245 ♪ Lab coat on ♪ 38 00:01:33,612 --> 00:01:36,753 ♪ Here he comes, Professor Proton. ♪ 39 00:01:36,925 --> 00:01:38,699 Hey, everybody. I'm Professor Proton. 40 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,334 Welcome to the show. Today I will be teaching you 41 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:45,214 how to make a real hovercraft using common household items. 42 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:48,511 Darn it, I do like objects that hover. 43 00:01:48,797 --> 00:01:51,159 All you will need is a CD, 44 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:54,270 a bottle cap, a balloon, and some super glue. 45 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,972 Oh, no! I have all those things! 46 00:01:57,962 --> 00:02:01,558 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 47 00:02:01,626 --> 00:02:05,279 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 48 00:02:05,347 --> 00:02:06,677 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 49 00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:09,677 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 50 00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:11,605 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 51 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:14,285 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 52 00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:16,562 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 53 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,378 ♪ Bang! ♪ *THE BIG BANG THEORY* Season 11 Episode 15 54 00:02:18,446 --> 00:02:20,714 *THE BIG BANG THEORY* Title: "The Novelization Correlation" 55 00:02:24,953 --> 00:02:26,367 - Hey. - Hi. 56 00:02:26,435 --> 00:02:27,968 What's that noise? 57 00:02:28,036 --> 00:02:30,161 Oh, it's my new keyboard. 58 00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:32,898 It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. 59 00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:35,148 It makes me feel like a real novelist. 60 00:02:35,999 --> 00:02:37,749 You poured yourself a Scotch. 61 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,533 - Apple juice. - Oh. 62 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,257 But unsweetened, 63 00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:43,283 - like Hemingway used to drink. - Ah. 64 00:02:43,415 --> 00:02:45,499 - So, how's the book coming along? - Uh, good. 65 00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,455 I just wrote the part where the hero, 66 00:02:47,523 --> 00:02:50,149 hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN. 67 00:02:50,185 --> 00:02:51,698 Oh, is he based on you? 68 00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:54,351 Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products 69 00:02:54,419 --> 00:02:56,304 without having to leave the room. 70 00:02:56,773 --> 00:02:59,109 Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland 71 00:02:59,177 --> 00:03:01,062 - and there's a lot of cheese there. - Hmm. 72 00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:03,999 Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later. 73 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,117 Well, I'm excited to read it whenever you're ready. 74 00:03:06,197 --> 00:03:07,328 Thank you. 75 00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:10,898 Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon! 76 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,265 Swiss army knife? 77 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:14,109 No. 78 00:03:17,372 --> 00:03:19,109 That's way better. 79 00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:23,257 Look, it works! We did it! 80 00:03:23,588 --> 00:03:26,273 See, there was a reason to keep that TurboTax CD. 81 00:03:26,341 --> 00:03:27,546 Yeah. 82 00:03:28,023 --> 00:03:29,374 A CD-ROM? 83 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,531 More like "CD-vroom." 84 00:03:32,804 --> 00:03:34,718 Do you feel bad you told Wil Wheaton 85 00:03:34,786 --> 00:03:37,020 that you'd be his enemy if he did this show? 86 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,416 No. I feel bad 87 00:03:39,484 --> 00:03:41,718 I'm engaged to somebody that would point that out. 88 00:03:42,453 --> 00:03:44,296 It's time for Professor Proton's 89 00:03:44,364 --> 00:03:45,765 science joke of the day. 90 00:03:45,898 --> 00:03:48,580 Why can you not trust atoms? 91 00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:50,407 Hmm. 92 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,796 Because they make up everything. 93 00:03:52,954 --> 00:03:56,005 Oh, that's funny! 94 00:03:56,476 --> 00:03:59,218 Yeah, because they do. They make up everything. 95 00:04:02,023 --> 00:04:03,578 Oh, I wonder who that could be. 96 00:04:03,742 --> 00:04:05,749 Just when I thought this couldn't get any better, 97 00:04:05,817 --> 00:04:08,476 Wil has introduced suspense into the show. 98 00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:13,216 Hey, it's real NASA astronaut, Howard Wolowitz! 99 00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:15,536 What?! 100 00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:17,372 Hey, Professor Proton. 101 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,806 Hey, thanks for being here. 102 00:04:18,874 --> 00:04:21,872 No problem. I'm on my "launch" break. 103 00:04:24,153 --> 00:04:27,591 How could Wil ask Howard to be on his show and not me? 104 00:04:27,742 --> 00:04:29,466 Well, he is an astronaut. 105 00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:32,902 And he didn't start an online petition to get Wil fired. 106 00:04:33,278 --> 00:04:35,505 But why wouldn't Howard tell me? 107 00:04:35,599 --> 00:04:37,159 Well, because he probably worried 108 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,872 that you'd be a big baby about it. 109 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:42,771 All those answers make a lot of sense. 110 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:44,677 Thank you, Amy. That helps. 111 00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:48,693 And then, when the lights come back on 112 00:04:48,761 --> 00:04:51,341 in the supercollider room, Dr. Logan Dean makes 113 00:04:51,409 --> 00:04:54,803 two important discoveries: a gluino 114 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,211 and murder. 115 00:04:57,443 --> 00:04:59,888 Oh, gluino. That's exciting. 116 00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:02,841 And murder. 117 00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:05,271 I heard you. 118 00:05:05,954 --> 00:05:07,818 The first time. 119 00:05:09,026 --> 00:05:11,393 I don't know which Hemsworth is playing Logan Dean, 120 00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:12,864 but I know it's a Hemsworth. 121 00:05:12,932 --> 00:05:14,723 Well, Logan's actually based on me. 122 00:05:14,995 --> 00:05:17,060 So a young Paul Giamatti. 123 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,828 Well, I have to finish writing it 124 00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,092 before they can make it into a movie, 125 00:05:21,159 --> 00:05:23,341 and I still have a few things to figure out. 126 00:05:23,436 --> 00:05:24,727 You should talk to Bernadette. 127 00:05:24,809 --> 00:05:26,646 Since she's been on bed rest, she's binged, 128 00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:29,130 like, every detective show in the world. 129 00:05:29,276 --> 00:05:32,739 Oh, there was a funny detective show in India called Karamchand. 130 00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:34,572 He had an assistant named Kitty, 131 00:05:34,642 --> 00:05:37,009 and he was always saying, "Shut up, Kitty!" 132 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,855 Sounds less mean if you say it in Hindi 133 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:43,827 and don't think of women as having feelings. 134 00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:45,745 Hello. 135 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,076 - Hey. - Hey. - Hi. 136 00:05:47,278 --> 00:05:50,241 Howard, I want you to know that I forgive you. 137 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,874 I'll take it. 138 00:05:52,732 --> 00:05:54,264 What's he forgiving you for? 139 00:05:54,332 --> 00:05:56,966 Don't care. Clean slate. Happy Yom Kippur to me. 140 00:05:57,842 --> 00:05:59,828 I know that you were on Wil's show, 141 00:05:59,905 --> 00:06:01,686 and I know why you didn't tell me. 142 00:06:01,754 --> 00:06:02,795 Do you? 143 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,318 Because you were afraid 144 00:06:04,426 --> 00:06:06,436 that I would be difficult and annoying about it. 145 00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:08,252 I hope your book has a twist 146 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,147 as surprising as that. 147 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,616 It doesn't. 148 00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:15,374 I thought you were boycotting Wil's show. 149 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,830 I was, but I decided to give it a shot, 150 00:06:17,898 --> 00:06:19,561 and I actually enjoyed it. 151 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,842 Just out of curiosity, how did you come to be on the show? 152 00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,038 Did he ask you? Did you ask him? 153 00:06:25,164 --> 00:06:28,098 Did you just show up on the set and ring that doorbell? 154 00:06:28,319 --> 00:06:30,142 Sheldon, if you want to be on the show, 155 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:32,636 you're gonna have to apologize to Wil. 156 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:35,584 That would be the mature thing to do. 157 00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:38,733 Let's put a pin in that and keep thinking. 158 00:06:43,049 --> 00:06:44,108 Ooh. 159 00:06:44,176 --> 00:06:45,952 What? What? Which part? 160 00:06:46,436 --> 00:06:48,256 That was just the baby kicking. 161 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,912 Got it. 162 00:06:49,989 --> 00:06:52,624 - But this is good so far, really good. - Yeah? 163 00:06:52,707 --> 00:06:54,991 Yeah. I have no idea who the killer is. 164 00:06:55,059 --> 00:06:57,163 Oh, great. Me, neither. 165 00:06:59,006 --> 00:07:01,452 So, does Penny know you based a character on her? 166 00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:03,400 What character? 167 00:07:03,584 --> 00:07:05,717 Ilsa, the head of the institute. That's clearly Penny. 168 00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:06,959 No, it's not. 169 00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:08,144 Really? 170 00:07:08,212 --> 00:07:09,812 Confident, ball-busting beauty 171 00:07:09,882 --> 00:07:12,170 who's always rolling her eyes at Logan? 172 00:07:13,272 --> 00:07:16,374 Trust me, that describes more women than you think. 173 00:07:17,444 --> 00:07:20,975 "He looked at the stunning woman who was his boss and said..." 174 00:07:21,214 --> 00:07:22,795 It's murder. 175 00:07:24,116 --> 00:07:26,780 Figure that out yourself, genius? 176 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,459 Okay, no need to be snarky. 177 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,807 Who would want to kill him? 178 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:33,834 Could be anyone. Dr. Silvers. 179 00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,334 Dr. Prekash. 180 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,100 Hans the Janitor. 181 00:07:43,803 --> 00:07:45,038 But the door is locked, 182 00:07:45,106 --> 00:07:47,202 so it has to be someone in this room. 183 00:07:47,353 --> 00:07:49,819 Wow, you are on fire. 184 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,119 Maybe it is a little like Penny. 185 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,087 Any chance she'll be flattered? 186 00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:59,289 I don't know. She's pretty mean. 187 00:07:59,436 --> 00:08:00,791 Ilsa or Penny? 188 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,780 Exactly. 189 00:08:06,717 --> 00:08:08,280 Oh, hey, Howard. What's up? 190 00:08:08,561 --> 00:08:09,897 I'm so sorry. 191 00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:11,670 Wh-Wh-What for? 192 00:08:13,104 --> 00:08:14,749 Hello. 193 00:08:15,249 --> 00:08:16,565 Hello, Sheldon. 194 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,372 I suppose you've come here to tell me 195 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,608 that you've moved me to your super secret enemies list. 196 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,420 I don't have a super secret enemies list. 197 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:26,346 I'm not a Bond villain. 198 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,397 I'm just a regular guy, 199 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,689 with a regular enemies list. 200 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:34,319 Which, by the way, you are no longer on. 201 00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:37,366 Really? Well, that is something. 202 00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:40,366 It's not something that I care about, but it is something. 203 00:08:40,741 --> 00:08:42,599 He's trying to say he's sorry. 204 00:08:42,835 --> 00:08:43,948 I am. 205 00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:47,184 I watched your show, and it's really good. 206 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,389 Aw, thank you. 207 00:08:48,457 --> 00:08:50,624 And I regret how hard I was on you. 208 00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:52,009 I want you to know 209 00:08:52,077 --> 00:08:54,444 that being on the Professor Proton show 210 00:08:54,522 --> 00:08:56,580 has been a childhood dream of mine. 211 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,391 So, if you're ever looking 212 00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:02,177 for any more scientist guests, I hope you'll consider me. 213 00:09:02,436 --> 00:09:05,467 I appreciate that, Sheldon, and I'll keep it in mind. 214 00:09:06,139 --> 00:09:07,274 You know, actually... 215 00:09:07,342 --> 00:09:08,795 Yay! Uh... 216 00:09:08,863 --> 00:09:12,118 No. No. I want to have 217 00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:14,616 more female scientists represented on the show, 218 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:18,217 and I thought maybe Amy might be interested? 219 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:26,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 220 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,592 Or... 221 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,741 wouldn't it be nice 222 00:09:31,851 --> 00:09:35,663 to have us both on, to show that 223 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:39,319 even female scientists can land a man? 224 00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:44,741 I said "sorry." 225 00:09:49,449 --> 00:09:51,561 So, what do you think? 226 00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:54,405 I like it. I can't wait to see who the killer is. 227 00:09:54,491 --> 00:09:57,467 Is it that Ilsa girl? She seems pretty mean. 228 00:09:58,272 --> 00:10:00,144 But adorably mean, 229 00:10:00,212 --> 00:10:02,569 like a baby lion? 230 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:06,491 No, regular mean, like a regular lion. 231 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,491 But it seems pretty accurate, considering who you based it on. 232 00:10:10,772 --> 00:10:12,092 Huh. 233 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,030 And... who do you think that is? 234 00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:17,362 But the door is locked, 235 00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:19,597 so it has to be someone in this room. 236 00:10:22,479 --> 00:10:25,080 Wow. You are on fire. 237 00:10:27,634 --> 00:10:28,944 Oh. Y... 238 00:10:29,012 --> 00:10:31,037 Bernadette. Yeah, sure. 239 00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:33,928 Each one of you had a motive. 240 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,311 Who died and made you detective? 241 00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:37,811 He did. 242 00:10:39,419 --> 00:10:41,913 I think you're neglecting your own motive, 243 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:44,475 a massive inferiority complex. 244 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,233 It's not massive. 245 00:10:46,534 --> 00:10:48,545 It's just average-sized. 246 00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:53,366 I don't mean to interrupt, but somebody's tracking 247 00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:56,686 blood everywhere, so... Never mind, it's me. 248 00:10:57,819 --> 00:11:00,545 You say we're all suspects. 249 00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:02,741 How do we know you're not the killer? 250 00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:04,264 I have an alibi. 251 00:11:04,404 --> 00:11:08,306 Yeah. He's not smart enough to pull off a murder like this. 252 00:11:10,262 --> 00:11:13,389 It's pretty obvious: blonde, mean, glasses. 253 00:11:13,457 --> 00:11:15,327 - It doesn't say "glasses." - Oh, really? 254 00:11:15,395 --> 00:11:18,022 But it will, because Ilsa does. 255 00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,948 And... you know who else wears them? 256 00:11:20,117 --> 00:11:22,038 Bernadette. 257 00:11:23,012 --> 00:11:24,934 And-and that's her, cause it's, 258 00:11:25,002 --> 00:11:27,228 it's totally, it's totally her. 259 00:11:31,011 --> 00:11:32,848 Oh, Amy. Good, you're here. 260 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,159 Hi. What's up? 261 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:38,340 How would you like to be on television? 262 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:40,433 Is it gonna be a news story 263 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,706 where I have to say you were quiet and kept to yourself 264 00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:44,714 and I'm as shocked as anyone? 265 00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:47,331 No, it's not. 266 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:51,527 Wil Wheaton wants you to be on Professor Proton. 267 00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:54,870 That's nice, but I'm not really interested. 268 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,448 What do you mean? 269 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,411 But he wants to talk about women in science. 270 00:11:58,479 --> 00:12:01,534 You're a woman, you're in science. You go, girl. 271 00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,339 I'm all for promoting women in science, 272 00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:07,042 but I don't really want to be on Wil's show. 273 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,034 Is it because kids may be there, 274 00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:13,152 and they're known carriers of head lice? I get that. 275 00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:16,191 Sure, that's the reason. 276 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,144 Wait a minute. 277 00:12:18,243 --> 00:12:20,834 You're always bragging that lice aren't attracted to you 278 00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:22,175 because your scalp is so oily. 279 00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:24,175 That was on your dating profile. 280 00:12:24,853 --> 00:12:26,308 Okay, look, 281 00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:29,400 I know you have strong feelings about Professor Proton, 282 00:12:29,468 --> 00:12:31,913 and I don't want to get in the middle of that. 283 00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:34,850 So you're not going to do something 284 00:12:34,918 --> 00:12:36,670 just because you think it might upset me? 285 00:12:37,248 --> 00:12:38,803 Well, it's tricky, 286 00:12:38,871 --> 00:12:41,005 because answering that question honestly 287 00:12:41,073 --> 00:12:44,561 is one of the things I tend not to do because it upsets you. 288 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:47,241 Well, that's very upsetting. 289 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:49,912 Like I said. 290 00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,944 What other things don't you do because of me? 291 00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:56,293 Remember last week when we went 292 00:12:56,361 --> 00:12:58,920 to that dueling piano bar I was so excited about? 293 00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:00,149 No. 294 00:13:00,217 --> 00:13:01,819 Well, now you're getting it. 295 00:13:05,647 --> 00:13:07,647 Boy, I don't know how people who aren't on bed rest 296 00:13:07,715 --> 00:13:09,858 keep up with the Kardashians. 297 00:13:10,232 --> 00:13:12,118 Well, sometimes you have to read in your car 298 00:13:12,201 --> 00:13:14,553 while your husband thinks you're working late. 299 00:13:15,737 --> 00:13:18,738 Speaking of which, he came by yesterday to show me his book. 300 00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:22,147 Oh, and-and what did you think? 301 00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:23,406 I liked it. 302 00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,920 Really? The Ilsa character didn't bother you? 303 00:13:25,988 --> 00:13:29,053 Oh, he was exaggerating. You're not really like that. 304 00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:33,154 Well, I know I'm not like that. 305 00:13:33,378 --> 00:13:35,403 The character was based on you. 306 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:36,922 I don't know what to tell you. 307 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,157 When I brought it up with Leonard, he said it was you. 308 00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:41,774 Well, when I brought it up, he... 309 00:13:42,024 --> 00:13:43,870 got all squirrelly and left the room. 310 00:13:43,938 --> 00:13:45,672 Son of a bitch. 311 00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:52,155 I just learned some very distressing news. 312 00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,147 Sometimes, Amy doesn't do things 313 00:13:54,222 --> 00:13:56,483 because she's worried about how I'll react. 314 00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:59,686 First of all, it's not sometimes, it's always. 315 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:03,373 Second, it's not Amy, it's everybody. 316 00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:06,717 And third, it's not news, it's well-established. 317 00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,701 Yeah. Like just now I wanted to get a croissant, 318 00:14:09,769 --> 00:14:12,537 but I didn't want to hear you say, "Ooh, la, la." 319 00:14:13,881 --> 00:14:16,063 So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells 320 00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:17,444 to spare my feelings? 321 00:14:17,516 --> 00:14:19,256 No, of course not, because we don't want 322 00:14:19,324 --> 00:14:21,062 to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound 323 00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:23,076 of crunching eggshells. 324 00:14:24,036 --> 00:14:26,897 I don't want my relationship with Amy to be like that. 325 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:29,748 Sheldon, Amy knew what she was getting into. 326 00:14:29,816 --> 00:14:30,868 You think? 327 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,639 Yes, we warned her. 328 00:14:34,325 --> 00:14:36,785 Well, regardless, I can change. 329 00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,053 - Sure. - Yeah, of course you can. 330 00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:42,069 You know, everybody thinks I'm so predictable. 331 00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:44,127 Well, tomorrow I'm gonna show up at work 332 00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:45,928 and do something no one will expect. 333 00:14:45,996 --> 00:14:48,670 Where a baseball cap backwards to prove your point? 334 00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:55,912 Yes, but which hat? 335 00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:58,201 Gryffindor. 336 00:14:59,537 --> 00:15:01,733 Well, now that you guessed it, I'm not gonna do it. 337 00:15:02,377 --> 00:15:03,670 Yeah, you will. 338 00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:05,920 Yeah. 339 00:15:16,951 --> 00:15:18,811 Looks like the bullet went right through you. 340 00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:20,679 Damn it, Logan. When are you gonna stop? 341 00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:24,147 Sorry. I didn't get my PhD in quitting. 342 00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:28,022 You're a physicist. What makes you think you can solve a crime? 343 00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:29,608 He's losing a lot of blood. 344 00:15:29,676 --> 00:15:32,201 Great. I'm gonna have to clean that up. 345 00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:35,521 You know what? A little soda water 346 00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:37,608 might get that right out. 347 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,694 - We got to find some bandages. - No. 348 00:15:40,762 --> 00:15:42,201 There's no time. 349 00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:47,084 Does it hurt? 350 00:15:47,412 --> 00:15:49,795 Everything you do hurts. 351 00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:55,209 Then why do you keep coming back for more? 352 00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:00,976 Hey. 353 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,928 So this is what you think of me? 354 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,545 Huh? I'm mean and everything I do hurts you? 355 00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:07,185 What are you talking about? 356 00:16:07,253 --> 00:16:08,909 I know I'm Ilsa. 357 00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:11,376 Wha...? That is crazy. 358 00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:12,944 You-you two are totally different. 359 00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,040 How? 360 00:16:14,108 --> 00:16:16,641 Well, you... She... 361 00:16:17,479 --> 00:16:19,201 Her name's Ilsa. 362 00:16:20,037 --> 00:16:21,345 You know what? 363 00:16:21,475 --> 00:16:22,852 It's fine. Write whatever you want. 364 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,615 And by the way, Logan Dean can tell everyone he's five-eight, 365 00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:27,775 but he's not fooling anybody! 366 00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,256 Are you sure that's the move you want to make? 367 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,655 Absolutely. 368 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,358 Okay. 369 00:16:46,013 --> 00:16:47,780 Checkmate. 370 00:16:48,732 --> 00:16:51,248 Oh, I did not see that coming. 371 00:16:51,998 --> 00:16:54,178 That's well played, Amy. 372 00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,115 What's going on? 373 00:16:57,194 --> 00:17:00,797 You beat me, and I am responding with humility and admiration. 374 00:17:00,865 --> 00:17:02,245 What does it look like? 375 00:17:02,631 --> 00:17:04,608 You let me win so you could show me 376 00:17:04,644 --> 00:17:07,225 how emotionally mature you are, didn't you? 377 00:17:07,342 --> 00:17:09,311 Well, I couldn't wait for you to actually beat me; 378 00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:11,139 that would take forever. 379 00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:13,815 I'm sorry. It's... 380 00:17:13,998 --> 00:17:15,287 I'm trying to show you 381 00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:16,506 that I can change. 382 00:17:16,574 --> 00:17:20,092 I-I don't want you to miss out on things because of me. 383 00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:22,232 I know you don't. 384 00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,373 You know, and maybe somewhere out there, 385 00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:27,767 there is a little girl who will see you on Wil's show 386 00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,201 and realize that she, too, can grow up 387 00:17:30,269 --> 00:17:32,311 to be a brilliant, amazing, 388 00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,342 successful scientist. 389 00:17:36,102 --> 00:17:37,225 Thank you. 390 00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:39,631 Who is really terrible at chess. 391 00:17:40,622 --> 00:17:41,715 Got it. 392 00:17:41,783 --> 00:17:43,816 No, no, no. I mean really bad. 393 00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:47,092 What was your queen doing over there, going shopping? 394 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,937 I mean, I-I didn't intend to write about Penny, 395 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,531 but I guess maybe subconsciously I did. 396 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,891 I believe you mean "unconsciously," dear. 397 00:17:59,915 --> 00:18:01,671 Yeah, sure. You know, it would be nice 398 00:18:01,739 --> 00:18:03,634 if you didn't correct me all the time. 399 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,009 It would be nice if I didn't have to. 400 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,876 Maybe this book of yours is a bad idea. 401 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,165 What do you mean? 402 00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,499 Well, you're a physicist. 403 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,923 What makes you think you can write a book? 404 00:18:20,243 --> 00:18:21,624 You're a physicist. 405 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,540 What makes you think you can solve a crime? 406 00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:28,000 Got to go. 407 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:30,110 I think you mean "have..." 408 00:18:31,886 --> 00:18:33,184 Oh, Penny, good news. 409 00:18:33,252 --> 00:18:34,601 - It's not you. - What? 410 00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:36,657 Ilsa. It's not you. It's my mother. 411 00:18:36,725 --> 00:18:38,583 I've been writing about my mother! 412 00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:41,632 I think you're neglecting your own motive, 413 00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:44,150 a massive inferiority complex. 414 00:18:44,336 --> 00:18:45,696 It's not massive. 415 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,079 It's just average-sized. 416 00:18:52,555 --> 00:18:54,118 We got to find some bandages. 417 00:18:54,186 --> 00:18:55,930 There's no time. 418 00:19:00,391 --> 00:19:01,540 Does it hurt? 419 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,852 Everything you do hurts. 420 00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:07,079 Then why do you keep coming back for more? 421 00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:08,646 Maybe you like it. 422 00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:12,212 I... M-Maybe I do. 423 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:20,586 Penny, what? I'm a physicist. What I'm doing by writing a book? 424 00:19:25,019 --> 00:19:26,669 Well, that is our show for today. 425 00:19:26,746 --> 00:19:28,613 And I want to say a very special thank you 426 00:19:28,682 --> 00:19:30,419 to Dr. Amy Fowler for being here. 427 00:19:30,487 --> 00:19:32,167 It was a real pleasure having you. 428 00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:33,851 And you can feel that pleasure 429 00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:38,206 because you don't have a lesion in your nucleus accumbens. 430 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:41,081 I really hope I don't. 431 00:19:41,943 --> 00:19:43,609 All right, we'll see you next time! 432 00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:45,937 ♪♪ 433 00:19:46,716 --> 00:19:47,966 Amy. 434 00:19:48,177 --> 00:19:49,411 You were glowing. 435 00:19:52,122 --> 00:19:53,919 Oily scalp. 436 00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:56,965 I'm so proud of you. 437 00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,622 And I'm proud of you. 438 00:19:59,895 --> 00:20:02,090 Because you can't tell how jealous I am? 439 00:20:02,176 --> 00:20:04,575 No, no, no. I can. 440 00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:08,137 But I can tell how hard you're trying to keep it in. 441 00:20:08,411 --> 00:20:09,954 Really hard. 442 00:20:12,301 --> 00:20:13,410 I'm gonna go to bed. 443 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:14,669 All right, I'm gonna go scream on the roof. 444 00:20:14,736 --> 00:20:16,418 - Love you. - Love you. 445 00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:33,744 ♪♪ 445 00:20:34,305 --> 00:21:34,748 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today