1 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,983 (Theme music playing) 2 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,578 Jan: (On speaker phone) Are you listening to me, Michael? 3 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,979 Affirmative. 4 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,313 What did I just say? 5 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,858 You just said... let me, uh... 6 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:07,943 Check my notes. 7 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,444 You just said... 8 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,114 Alan and I have created an incentive program... 9 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,907 Hey! Hey, how is Alan? 10 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,786 Tell Alan that the mets suck. Okay? 11 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,247 From me, big time. Go pirates! 12 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,790 Not gonna do that, Michael. Okay. 13 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,953 We've created an incentive program to increase sales. 14 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,377 Uh-huh. 15 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,813 At the end of the month, you can reward your top seller 16 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,630 with a prize worth up to $1, 000. 17 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,215 Whoa, howdy ho. 18 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,134 Wow, 1,000 big ones. That's cool. Mm-hm. 19 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,927 Do I, uh, do I get to pick the prize? 20 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,013 Uh... yes. Yes, you can. 21 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,556 Um, question. 22 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:41,560 Does "top salesman" include people who were at one time 23 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:45,981 such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to... 24 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,149 No, Michael. 25 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,526 No, you can't win this prize. 26 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,028 I didn't mean me. 27 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,994 Well, first what we have to do 28 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:02,080 is find out what motivates people more than anything else. 29 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,124 Dwhght: Sex iszbgal icantdothat 30 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,126 next best thing. Torture. 31 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,961 Come on, Dwight. Just help me out here. 32 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,171 That's just stupid. 33 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,964 Pam: Um, Michael... Pam! 34 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,408 Hey, there's... Burger with cheese! 35 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,426 There's a person here... And fries! 36 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,510 There's... and shake! 37 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,887 What? Go ahead. 38 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,865 There's a person here who wants to sell handbags. 39 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,599 No, no, no. No vendors in the office. 40 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,850 That is a distraction. 41 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,733 Okay, I told her you'd talk to her at least... 42 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:24,978 Pam, come on, I'm busy. 43 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,271 So just tell her to go away. 44 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,648 Okay. 45 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,400 (Sighs) 46 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,030 All right, I'll talk to her. 47 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,157 This one is hand-embroidered. 48 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,868 All right, girls, break it up. You're being infiltrated. 49 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,161 Cook in the henhouse. 50 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,829 Cocks in the henhouse. Don't say cocks. 51 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,498 Oh! (Clears throat) 52 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,668 (Irish accent) What is your name, my fair lass? 53 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,047 Ah, Katy. Wow, look at you! 54 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,966 You are, uh, you're like the new and improved Pam. 55 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,468 Pam 6.0. 56 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,428 (Laughing) Oh, look! 57 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,931 Oh, hey, no cat fights, you two. 58 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,450 I'm against violence in the workplace. 59 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,975 So am I. Nobody cares what you think. 60 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,060 Doesn't matter. 61 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,520 So, uh, you know what? 62 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,106 I usually don't allow solicitors in the office. 63 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,067 But today, I am going to break some rules. 64 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,569 And you can have the conference room. It's yours, all day. 65 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,654 Wow, thanks. 66 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,614 There's an hr meeting in there at 11:30. 67 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,200 Well, let's put 'em in the hallway. 68 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,993 We'll give 'em some chairs. 69 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,912 Right? Decisiveness! 70 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,455 One of the keys to success, 71 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,582 according to small businessman. 72 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,668 I do, I read small businessman. 73 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,463 I also subscribe to usa today, 74 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,675 and American way, um, magazine. 75 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,968 That's the in-flight magazine. 76 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,428 Some great articles in that. 77 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:44,099 They did this great profile last month 78 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,226 of Doris Roberts, 79 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,104 and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. 80 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,106 Illuminating. 81 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,899 This is my conference room. 82 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,777 So please, uh, make yourself at home. 83 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,072 Whatever you need, I'm right on the other side of this wall. 84 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,782 Used to be a window here. 85 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,409 There's not anymore. 86 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,702 So that's where I will be. 87 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,246 So, ahem... 88 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,369 If you need anything else, 89 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,124 something to make you more comfortable... 90 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,751 Just don't hesitate to ask. 91 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,002 I'm right here. 92 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,314 I guess a cup of coffee would be great. 93 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,632 Wait a second! 94 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,385 Ah! I should have spotted another addict. 95 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,053 Oh, gofialove the'bucks! 96 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,513 What? 97 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,782 It's like a slang for Starbucks. 98 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,016 They're all over the place. 99 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:30,270 Oh, man, that place is like the promised land to me. 100 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,813 What a business model, too. 101 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,524 Oh, too bad we don't have the good stuff here. 102 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,193 Regular coffee is fine. 103 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,236 No, it's not, it's... 104 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,380 No, really, it is. (Blows raspberry) 105 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,781 No, here's the thing. 106 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:44,951 You know, I do my best to... 107 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,955 To be my own man, and, uh_. 108 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,375 Go by the beat of a different drummer. 109 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,169 And nobody gets me. 110 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,879 And they're always putting up walls, 111 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,255 and I'm always tearing them down. 112 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,258 Just breaking down barriers. That's what I do all day. 113 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,264 So... a coffee. 114 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:08,350 Regular coffee. Foryou. 115 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,352 High test or unleaded? 116 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,479 Bring it on. 117 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,105 Ooh, ho! Whoo! 118 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,107 I will, I'll bring it on! All right! 119 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,071 So... are you jealous 120 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,073 'cause there's another girl around? 121 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,118 She's prettier than you, though. 122 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,583 That's a very rude thing to say, Kevin. 123 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,466 So you... I see you like the periwinkles and the purples? 124 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,052 Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist. 125 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,430 Creamy skin, straight teeth, 126 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:51,268 curly hair, amazing breasts... 127 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,061 Not for me, for my children. 128 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,730 The schrutes produce very thirsty babies. 129 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,775 There you go! Nice, steaming hot cup of Joe. 130 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,527 Thank you. I have an idea. 131 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,571 Why don't I introduce you around? 132 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,694 You know, you can kind of get your foot in the door, 133 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,449 meet potential clientele, right? 134 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,785 Gosh, I'm... I would love to, 135 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,495 but my purses, I should, um... 136 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,831 Oh, um, well, we can have Ryan take a look. 137 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,559 Ryan, would you look after the purses, please? 138 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,477 Uh, I'm installing file share on all the computers. 139 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,170 Yeah, well, blah Dee blooh dah blah blah. Techno babble. 140 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,590 Just do it, okay? We have company, right? 141 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,008 You should sell a lot here, 142 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,927 because this branch made over $1 million last year. 143 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,446 Not that we're all millionaires. 144 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,472 I'm probably closest, so... 145 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,309 Here's Oscar! Oscar, this is Katy. 146 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,393 I'm on the phone. 147 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,145 Ooh, ooh, oh, Oscar the grouch. 148 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,105 Right? I thought of that. 149 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,940 That was on sesame street. 150 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,317 I know, I know, I know. 151 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,443 I made the connection. 152 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,362 Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here? 153 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,655 No, ldont behevethat 154 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,490 I know, it's unbelievable. 155 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,075 Pam: It's nice having Katy around. 156 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,954 It's another person for Michael to, um... 157 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,749 Interact with. 158 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,418 Here is Toby from human resources. 159 00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,711 Katy, Toby. Katy: Hi. 160 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,421 Toby, Katy! Hi, nice to meet you. 161 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,715 Did you go to bishop O'Hara? 162 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,258 Yeah. Yeah, me too. 163 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,635 Cool. What year were you there? 164 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,053 '89. Toby's divorced. 165 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,930 He, uh... god. 166 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,473 Recently, right? 167 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,807 Yeah. You and your wife? 168 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,559 And you have kids? A girl. 169 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:15,852 Michael: Oh, that's so... 170 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,938 That was really messy. 171 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,066 He... slept one night in your car, too? 172 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,194 I should probably get back to my table. 173 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,487 Okay, all right. 174 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,530 Cool. See you in a bit. 175 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,744 Oh! Hey, she's cute. 176 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,788 Cutie pie. Back to work! 177 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,415 Michael: I live by one rule. 178 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,876 No office romances, no way. 179 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,836 Very messy, inappropriate. 180 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,049 But... 181 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,425 I live by another rule. 182 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:49,803 Just do it. 183 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:50,929 Nike. 184 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,931 Hey, Jimmy, what do you think 185 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,975 about that little purse girl, huh? 186 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,309 Cute, sure, yeah. 187 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,561 Why don't you get on that? 188 00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,729 She's not really my type. 189 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,731 What are you, gay? 190 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,484 Mmm, I don't think so, no. 191 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,986 Kevin: Well, what is your type? 192 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,865 Moms... primarily. 193 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,660 Yep, soccer moms, single moms, Nascar moms. 194 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,203 Any type of mom, really. 195 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,746 That's disgusting. 196 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,081 Kevin: Stay away from my mom. 197 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,541 Too late, kev. 198 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,254 (Roy sighs) 199 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,298 Man, I would be all over that if I wasn't dating Pam. 200 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,094 We're not dating, we're engaged. 201 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,847 Engaged, yeah. 202 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,529 Jim: Pam and I are good buddies. 203 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:52,532 I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems. 204 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,993 You know, with stuff like work, 205 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,662 or, uh, herfiancé Roy. 206 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,456 Or, um... 207 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,417 Nope, those are pretty much her only two problems. 208 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,146 Jim: She'd be perfect for you. 209 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,171 Dwight: Mmm. 210 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,339 She's been talking to Michael a lot. 211 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,758 So what? 212 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,217 You're assistant regional manager. 213 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,611 Assistant to the regional manager. 214 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,696 Well, you know what, Dwight? 215 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,305 He's your work boss, okay? 216 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,806 He is not your relationship boss. 217 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,974 That's true. 218 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,477 Plus, you have so much more to talk to this girl about. 219 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,314 You're both, um, salesmen. 220 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,837 I mean, that's something right there. 221 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:26,900 True. 222 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,903 Plus, I could talk to her about the origins of my last name. 223 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,655 It's all gold. 224 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,992 Guys are usually my best customers. 225 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,452 They buy the high-end stuff, 226 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,746 like the beads and the sequins and stuff, 227 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,456 for gifts, you know. 228 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,767 They don't know what they're looking at, 229 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,043 so I make suggestions. 230 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,753 All right, here's the thing, okay? 231 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,254 You just keep talking to her. 232 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,066 If you hit a stall, you have a perfect fallback. 233 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,633 What's that? You buy a purse. 234 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,396 I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls. 235 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,969 Dwight, that's not necessarily true. 236 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,346 Do you read gq? 237 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,722 Okay, I do. No. 238 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,474 They're like mini briefcases, all right? 239 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,309 Lots of guys have them. 240 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,769 Yes! Ukethose? 241 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,896 Listen, you are spending way too much time 242 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,540 talking to me when you could be talking to her. 243 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,125 Okay, I'm just gonna use the bathroom and then... 244 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,651 No, you don't need the bathroom. 245 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,277 You've got it. Go. 246 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,116 (Whispering) Okay, shh. Stop. 247 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,450 Stop whatever you're doing, 248 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,661 'cause this is going to be good. 249 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,598 Jim: (High voice mimicking) Hi, my name is Dwight schrute, 250 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,666 and I would like to buy a purse from you. 251 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,043 Good lord, look at these purses! 252 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,170 This is something special. 253 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:34,676 Oh, my god, is this Salvatore dacinni purse? 254 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,387 Oh, definitely... definitely step in and out of it like that. 255 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,889 Jim: Yes, well, I want to stress test it. 256 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,433 You know, in case anything happens. 257 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,561 Jim: Oh! Pam: Oh! 258 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,813 (Laughing) That was really... 259 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,400 This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. 260 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,527 This is the... ooh. 261 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,487 This is the prettiest one of all. 262 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,866 I'm gonna be the prettiest girl in the ball. 263 00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:58,992 Oh, how much? 264 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,035 Oh, god, it's sad. 265 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,412 It's so sad. Yeah. 266 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,872 Here he comes, shh. 267 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,045 (Giggling) 268 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,380 He did pick a good one. 269 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,506 You're horrible. 270 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,592 This one's really good for a hot date. 271 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,468 Yeah, what's that? (Both laugh) 272 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,845 I'm engaged. So... 273 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,013 Oh, congratulations. 274 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,598 You need a hot date more than anyone. 275 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,765 Oh, I wish, right? 276 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,976 Giggle, giggle, shooshy, shooshy. 277 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,311 I get it, I get it. 278 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,521 Divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood over here. 279 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:29,772 Right? 280 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,151 So, how was that coffee from earlier? 281 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,235 It was good. 282 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,653 Michael: Ah, I knew it. 283 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,656 Guzzled it down. You greedy little thing. 284 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:43,578 So, uh, Pam, is this your lunch break or was that earlier, 285 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,247 when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys? 286 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,460 (Gasps) Sorry. 287 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,628 Busted. 288 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,004 (Laughs) 289 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,130 Come back? Oh, hey! 290 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,294 I wanna show you something. 291 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,817 Come here. I wanna show you something. 292 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,593 I know you are gonna like this. 293 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,637 Picked it up today. 1,000 big ones. 294 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,096 Is that from Starbucks? 295 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,016 Yes, this is a Starbucks digital barista. 296 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,518 This is the mack daddy of Espresso makers. 297 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,354 Wow, is that for the office? 298 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,980 Oh, I know what you're thinking. 299 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,708 Ooh, you're not prying this out of my hands. 300 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,400 (Laughs) 301 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,212 But don't tempt me, 'cause I'll give it to you. 302 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,612 Iwouldn't think of it. 303 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,616 Coffee is the great "incentivizer" in the office. 304 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,202 It's a drug... It is quite literally a drug 305 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,454 that speeds people up. 306 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,581 It's not the only drug that speeds people up. 307 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:32,377 You hear stories about dunder Mifflin in the '805, 308 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,129 before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. 309 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,840 Gah... man, did they move paper! 310 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:42,720 Oh, the rotating, uh, steam... wand. 311 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,932 What? What's the matter? 312 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,685 Oh, nothing. My ride just bailed on me. 313 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,020 Oh, oh, god, I'm sorry. 314 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,105 Is it... oh, no, it's... 315 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,314 Where you going? Nearby? 316 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,524 Because I'd give you a ride. 317 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,775 Sure? 318 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,986 I don't wanna inconvenience you. 319 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,696 No, no, no, no, no! No inconvenience. 320 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,322 I mean, I'm out of here at 5:00 sharp. 321 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,658 At 5:00? I can go earlier, 'cause I'm the boss. 322 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,370 Okay. You know, whatever. I'm outta here... slaves. 323 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,955 What? 324 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,957 Okay. Okay! 325 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,334 I guess that would be... I guess that would be okay. 326 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,295 Okay, sounds good, sounds good. 327 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:18,381 Five o'clock sharp, I will give you and your purses a ride home. 328 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,465 Okay, cool. 329 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,550 Right! Great! 330 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,801 Cool. Cool! 331 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,885 Cool! 332 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,391 Nyah, okay. 333 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,520 I should never have let the temp touch this thing. 334 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:36,149 I had all these great icons, and now I have four folders. 335 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,109 It's actually better this way. So... 336 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,777 No, it's not, because I could just 337 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,946 click on the icon and then I'm onto something... 338 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,531 Michael, could I ask you something? 339 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,200 I wanted to ask your permission to ask out Katy. 340 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,095 I know it's against the rules and everything... 341 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,662 No, no, no, it's not against the rules. 342 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:53,333 Ahem. She is not a permanent employee, so it's not. 343 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,144 Thank you, Michael. I appreciate this so much. 344 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,586 But I think you should just know 345 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,630 that I am going to be giving her a ride home later. 346 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,841 What? 347 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,051 She asked me for a ride, 348 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,178 and so I'm going to give her a ride home. 349 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,389 Is that all it is? Just a ride home? 350 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,891 Like a taxi cab? 351 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,226 Well, it might be a ride home. 352 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:16,606 Might be a ride home, and we stop for coffee and... 353 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,649 Dot, dot, dot. 354 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,780 Please... please... 355 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:27,283 I am your inferior, and I'm asking you this favor. 356 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,869 Can you promise me that it will just be a ride home? 357 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,417 No. I cannot promise. 358 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,503 You cannot promise me or you won't promise me? 359 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,505 Listen, Dwight... 360 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,589 Do you love her? 361 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,840 (Scoffs) Dwight, no. 362 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,092 I... I don't know. 363 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,095 It's too early to tell. 364 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,514 I... I don't know how I feel. 365 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,831 I think you've made a really good choice. She's really gonna like that. 366 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,857 Hmm. Michael: Espresso? 367 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:00,942 Oh, thank you. 368 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,318 You're welcome. 369 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,653 Thank you. 370 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,904 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 371 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,324 Is that from the machine that was in your office? 372 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:09,909 Mm-hmm. 373 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,471 I thought that was the incentive prize for the top sales person. 374 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,871 Very easy to clean. 375 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:15,665 Okay. 376 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,583 Like he's gonna win anyway. 377 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,210 (Snickers) Right? 378 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,093 So did we get any mail? 379 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:28,761 Yeah, I gave it to you. 380 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,555 Yes, you did. Yes, you did. 381 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,057 Just checking. Just checking, double checking. 382 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,142 Checking on the check. 383 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:38,980 Thoroughness is very important in an office, and... 384 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,064 So can I... 385 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,149 Yeah, yeah. 386 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,233 Of course. 387 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,317 Uh, Pam, one more thing. 388 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,486 Um, how do girls your age feel about futons? 389 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,322 Jim: A futon? 390 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,116 He's a grown man. 391 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,409 That's what he said. 392 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,493 That's sad. 393 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,287 Or it's innovative. 394 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:58,458 Well, you know, the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one. 395 00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,542 What's up? 396 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,588 Are you still mad at me? 397 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:04,672 Roy... 398 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,424 Come on. Cut it out. 399 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,568 Come on, are you mad at me? 400 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,902 Stop it! Are you still mad at me now? 401 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,261 Cut it out. Are you mad at me now? 402 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,596 (Laughing) Stop! Huh? 403 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,514 (Laughing) Huh? Come on. 404 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,600 Come on, Pammy. Stop, I can't breathe. 405 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,369 I was just kidding. You know I didn't mean it. 406 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,394 (Pam laughing) 407 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,104 Pam: Jim's a great guy. 408 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,522 He's like a brother to me. 409 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,524 We're, like, best friends in the office. 410 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,777 And I really hope he finds someone. 411 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,613 You seem to like to touch things. 412 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,573 You should try the velvet. 413 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,201 Angela: I don't like to necessarily touch things. 414 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,661 I'm just... I'm shopping. 415 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,956 Katy: Oh, no, it's fine that you... 416 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,043 Here, what about the raspberry one? 417 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,087 It's really, um, kind of festive. 418 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,839 It's got a lot of personality. 419 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,174 Hey, how's it going? Fine. 420 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,257 Good, could I talk to you for a second, in private? 421 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,029 I don't think so. I'm really busy. 422 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,155 It'll just take a second. I can't. 423 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,847 Just for a minute. Please? I really can't. 424 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,599 I wanted to talk to you in private because 425 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,601 I wanted to ask you out on a date. 426 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,948 Okay, was that "no" to talking to me in private, 427 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,699 or was that "no" to the date? 428 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:15,785 Both. 429 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,917 What colors do you like? 430 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,255 Angela: Gray, dark gray, charcoal. 431 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:29,966 Ryan_. Yeah? 432 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,777 Would you like to help me with a special project? 433 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,219 I would love to. Well, all right. 434 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,265 Michael: Okay, just throw out all the empties. 435 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,828 Brian: You don't want to recycle them? 436 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,518 Um... yes. 437 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,228 Throw them away in the recycling bin. 438 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,273 Do you want this? 439 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,421 What about this bottle of power drink? 440 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,446 Uh, what flavor? 441 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,448 Blue. Blue's not a flavor. 442 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,033 It says, "flavor: Blue blast." 443 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,411 Oh, blue blast, yes. Put that in the trunk. 444 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,694 And there should be an unopened arctic chill back there. 445 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,665 I want that in the passenger's cup holder. 446 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:03,916 Thank you. 447 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,969 Hi. 448 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,596 I'm Jim, by the way. I'm Katy. 449 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,930 Hi, Katy, nice to meet you. 450 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,241 You sit out there, don't you? I do. 451 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,450 That's what I'm best known for. 452 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,268 (Laughs) Sitting out there. 453 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,353 All right, let's talk about purses. 454 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,688 Okay, um... 455 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,064 Katy, but, you know what? 456 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,316 Don't try to sell me one. 457 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,026 Okay, seriously. 458 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,611 'Cause I'm just here to learn. 459 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,446 Okay. 460 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,239 So I know about most of these, but... okay. 461 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,451 Whoa, stop! Whoa! That's my drakkar noir. 462 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,119 No, this says rite aid "night swept." 463 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,787 No, it is a perfect smell-alike. 464 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,247 I'm not paying for the label. 465 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,373 Right here, give it. 466 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,791 It's empty. No, it's not. 467 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,460 There's some in the straw. 468 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,715 There. Now you may throw it out. 469 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,553 Wow. 470 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,555 How many fillet-o-fishes did you eat? 471 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,307 That's over several months, Ryan. 472 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,143 Still... 473 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,812 What's up? I'm bored. 474 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,440 Thank you for choosing me. 475 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,150 No, I'm kidding. 476 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,653 Um, so you got big plans this weekend? 477 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:17,239 Uh... well, I think I'm gonna see Katy. 478 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,742 Yeah. Really? 479 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,781 What are you guys gonna do? 480 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,080 Oh, man, I don't know. 481 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,083 Uh, dinner, drinks, movie... 482 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,501 Matching tattoos. 483 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:30,920 That's great. Big stuff. 484 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,046 Yeah. That's, mmm. 485 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,173 What are you doing? 486 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,133 I was gonna say I think that, um... 487 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,010 We're gonna help Roy's cousin move. 488 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,970 Okay. 'Cause Roy's got a truck. 489 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,682 That's cool. 490 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,016 Uh-huh. 491 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,184 Yes. 492 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,268 That is cool. 493 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,330 But I'll see you Monday, though, right? 494 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,355 Great. 495 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,981 Okay. Okay. I'm gonna head back. 496 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,149 All right. 497 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,491 Michael: I think, in order to be a ladies' man, 498 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,494 it's imperative that people don't know you're a ladies' man. 499 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,413 So I kind of play that close to the chest. 500 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,834 I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. 501 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,001 And I think... 502 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,839 Other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face. 503 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,302 I don't know. I don't know. 504 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,264 Maybe they're right. I don't know. 505 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,170 Michael: Sure you don't want me to help you with that? 506 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,547 'Cause I can grab that, nopmbmm. Katy: Goodnight. 507 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,715 It was nice to meet some of you. 508 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,574 See ya later! Goodnight! 509 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,535 Goodnight, Jim. 510 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,828 Goodnight, Michael. 511 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,329 Where you going? 512 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,082 I don't know. Grab a drink, I think. 513 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,543 With us? 514 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,421 I, um, I probably should have told you, 515 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,840 I don't need a ride now, 'cause Jim can take me home after. 516 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,091 So you're off the hook. 517 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,277 Okay, great, off the hook. Excehent 518 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,635 okay, cool. Jim: I got this. 519 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,346 All right. Have fun. Don't drink and drive. 520 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:06,932 Take it easy. 521 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,118 Have a good night. You, too. 522 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,411 Have a good night! You got that? 523 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,686 Oh, yeah. 524 00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,897 You sold a lot, so it's lighter. 525 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,398 Katy: I bet. 526 00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:15,941 Well, here... 527 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:17,359 (Clears throat loudly) 528 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,029 (Engine starts) 529 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,323 All right, now, I'm gonna warn you. 530 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,991 Don't freak out, okay? Why? 531 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,409 This is a really nice car. 532 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,162 In case you haven't noticed, this is a corolla, okay? 533 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,080 Katy: It's a very nice car. 534 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,624 So you're not gonna freak out? 535 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,460 Michael: Do I have a special someone? 536 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,962 Uh, well, yeah, of course. 537 00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,297 A bunch of 'em. 538 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,757 My employees. 539 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,843 If I had to choose between a one-night-stand 540 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:45,054 with some stupid cow I pick up at a bar 541 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,180 and these people, 542 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,556 I'd pick them every time. 543 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:51,227 Because with them, it is an every day stand. 544 00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,396 And I still know their names in the morning.