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Michael: Tonight is the dundies,

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00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,747
the annual employee awards
night here at dunder Mifflin.

3
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,042
And this is
everybody's favorite day.

4
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,294
Everybody looks forward to it,

5
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because, you know,
a lot of the people here

6
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:50,467
don't get trophies very
often, like Meredith or Kevin.

7
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,053
I mean, who's gonna give
Kevin an award? Dunkin' donuts?

8
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,847
Plus, bonus,
it's really, really funny.

9
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,517
So I... you know,
an employee will go home

10
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,936
and he'll tell his neighbor,
"hey, did you get an award?"

11
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And the neighbor will say,
"no, man. I mean, I slave all day.

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"Nobody notices me."

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The next thing you know, the
employee smells something terrible

14
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coming from
the neighbor's house.

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The neighbor's hanged himself
due to lack of recognition.

16
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So, you ready for the dundies?

17
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(Sighs)

18
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Pam: You know what
they say about a car wreck,

19
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where it's so awful
you can't look away?

20
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The dundies are like a car
wreck that you wanna look away,

21
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but you have to stare at it
because your boss is making you.

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(Hoarsely) Hey, hey, hey!
It's fat Halpert.

23
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Fat Halpert. Jim Halpert. What?

24
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So, why don't I take you on a
tour of past dundie winners?

25
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We got fat Jim Halpert here.

26
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Jim, why don't you show off
your dundies to the camera?

27
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Oh, I can't,
because I keep them hidden.

28
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I don't wanna look at them
and get cocky.

29
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Oh, that's a good idea.

30
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And mine are at home in a
display case above my bed.

31
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Yuck!

32
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Tmi. Tmi, my friends.

33
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Tmi? Too much information.

34
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It's just easier to say tmi.

35
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I used to say, "don't go
there," but that's lame.

36
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,927
And here we have
Stanley the manly.

37
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,513
Now, Stanley is a dundie
all-star. Aren't you, Stan?

38
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,099
Why don't you show them
some of your bling?

39
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I don't know where they are.
I think I threw them out.

40
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No, you didn't. I think I did.

41
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Why did...

42
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Say, we gotta order some more
appeteasers this time.

43
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We ran out last year, remember?

44
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Yes, we should. You know what?

45
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,158
I wanted one of those
skillets of cheese,

46
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but when I got off-stage
someone had eaten all of them.

47
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:48,627
To Oscar Martinez, it's the
show me the money award.

48
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:52,381
Michael has taped
every dundies awards,

49
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and now he's making me
look through

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00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,719
hours of footage
to find highlights.

51
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,523
Song that I think we 're gonna
play for the ladies. Hit it, Dwight.

52
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,100
(Playing flute)

53
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,603
A little bit of Pam
all night long

54
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a little bit of Angela
on the thing

55
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,817
a little bit of Meredith
everywhere

56
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this is the part where Kevin sat
in front of the camcorder all night.

57
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It's great.

58
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A little bit of Roy
eating chicken crispers

59
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a little bit of Kim
with some ribs

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a little bit of

61
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it was you. Live and learn.

62
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It wasn't, I swear.
Yeah, it was.

63
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,875
So, what's the joke?
You're not perfect, either.

64
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We're not laughing
at you, Dwight.

65
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,754
So, who are we laughing at?

66
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Just something somebody wrote.

67
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,926
Who, Dave Barry? No, no.

68
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Just something that was
written on the ladies' room wall.

69
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What is it? Who wrote it?
It's kind of private.

70
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It's about Michael.

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(Laughing)

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That is defacement of company
property, so you better tell me.

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Kelly, if you tell me,
you'll be punished less.

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Okay, now I'm laughing at you.

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(Pam laughing)

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Will her highness
jan Levinson-gould

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be descending from her
corporate throne this evening

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to visit us lowly serfs here
at dunder Mifflin, Scranton?

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00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,626
Jan: (Stuttering) It's a two-and-a-half-hour
drive from New York, Michael.

80
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,546
Well, you could take the bus,
you could work on the way here,

81
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sleep on the way home?

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Come on, jan, this is important.

83
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I mean, this is validation
to my employees here

84
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that you and corporate
approve of this. So...

85
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,391
But we don't approve
of this, Michael.

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00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,478
You only have the budget
for one office party a year,

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so we 're not paying for this.

88
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Could you... are you there?

89
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Yeah, I'm here. I just wanted to
talk to you for a second about that.

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00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:47,120
Michael: What... what is...
I mean, come on, jan.

91
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,498
What, it's a... you're dropping
an a-bomb on me here.

92
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,541
Really? I'm dropping
an atomic bomb on you?

93
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,669
Well, yeah! I mean what is...
What... no, you can't...

94
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,522
You already had a party
on may 5th for no reason.

95
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No reason? It was the 05-05-05
party. And you also had a luau.

96
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,719
It happens once every billion
years. And you had a luau.

97
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,097
And the Tsunami relief fundraiser,
which somehow lost a lot of money.

98
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,409
Okay, no, that was a fun-raiser.
I don't really understand that.

99
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,204
I think I made that very clear in the
flyers. Okay, well, I don't understand

100
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,628
why anyone would have...
Fun. F-u-n.

101
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,189
A Tsunami fun-raiser, Michael.

102
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Well, I think a lot of people... I
mean, that just doesn't make sense.

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Were very affected
by the footage.

104
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This is a little character
I like to do.

105
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It is loosely based on karnak,

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one of Carson's
classic characters.

107
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,955
Here we go.

108
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The PLO, the ira, and the hot
dog stand behind the warehouse.

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(Ripping)

110
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Name three businesses that have better
healthcare plans than dunder Mifflin.

111
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Here's the problem.

112
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There's no open bar
because of jan.

113
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And it's the reason why comedy
clubs have a two-drink minimum.

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We'll be fine, but I just wish
people were gonna be drunk.

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Phylus: Dwmhl get
out of here! No, no, no_.

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What are you doing in the ladies'
room? It's not what you think. No!

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Why were you in there?
What were you doing in there?

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You are a pervert! I am not.

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The dundie award
for longest engagement

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goes to Pam bees/y.

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Pam, everybody!

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(Michael whooping)

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When is that girl gonna get
married? That's what I have to say.

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Ah, Roy's accepting. Yes.

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Michael: Thank you, Roy. Are there any
words you'd like to say on Pam's behalf?

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Roy: We'll see you next
year. Michael: Yeah!

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(Michael laughing)

128
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Hope not. Hope not.

129
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I'm not changing that.
That's the best one.

130
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No, it's hilarious.
You're right.

131
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I just think,
"world's longest engagement,"

132
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we're all expecting it,
you know?

133
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That's why it's funny.

134
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Every year that Roy and Pam
don't get married, it gets funnier.

135
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:05,050
Well, I'd think if you use the same
jokes, it just comes across as lazy.

136
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,345
Oh, "lazy."

137
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,971
Uh-huh.

138
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,974
Excuse me, everyone. Can I
have your attention, please?

139
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I just wanted to say that the
women in this office are terrible.

140
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Especially the ones who
wrote that stuff about Michael

141
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on the bathroom wall.

142
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Having a bathroom
is a privilege.

143
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It is called a ladies'
room for a reason,

144
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and if you cannot
behave like ladies,

145
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well, then you are not going
to have a bathroom.

146
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,579
You're taking away our bathroom?

147
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,248
We are going to have
two men's rooms.

148
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,209
But where would we go?

149
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,003
Be prepared to hold it,
folks. From 9:00 am...

150
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,421
Okay, okay, look...
Pam: Michael?

151
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,674
Yes? Dwight's banning
us from our bathroom.

152
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,219
Okay, well, that's ridiculous. So, just
don't... I don't have time for this right now.

153
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,322
There needs to be repercussions
for people's behavior.

154
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,139
Just don't talk, don't talk...

155
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,727
Okay, look, I know there have
been a lot of rumors flying around

156
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,229
about the dundies this year.

157
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How there is no money,
and how there is no food,

158
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,110
and how thejokes are really bad.

159
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,862
But, what the hell, everybody?

160
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,198
I mean, god!

161
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:14,828
The dundies are about
the best in every one of us.

162
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,580
Can't you see that? I mean...

163
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Okay, we can do better.

164
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,629
So tonight, for the first time,

165
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:28,425
we are inviting
all of your friends and family

166
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,011
to attend the awards with us.

167
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,887
Yes! Michael:
Yeah. Not bad, right?

168
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,223
So let's make this
the best dundies ever.

169
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:36,891
(Clapping)

170
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,184
Best dundies ever.

171
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,355
(Sirens wailing)

172
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,190
(Trumpeting)

173
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,945
Welcome to the eighth
annual dundies awards.

174
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,156
Dwight: Before we get
started, a few announcements.

175
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,491
Keep your acceptance
speeches short.

176
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,996
I have wrap-it-up music and I
am not afraid to use it, Devon.

177
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,290
(O.p.p playing)

178
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,800
(Singing) The dundies,
how can I explain it?

179
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,260
Or would you like to hate it?

180
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,595
I'm happy that you all made it

181
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,888
you never had to work so hard

182
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,097
and feel no one notices

183
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,283
you're just a name and number

184
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,433
and no one even says hello

185
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,684
card!

186
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,479
Oscar:
The dundies are kind of like

187
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,147
a kid's birthday party.

188
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:28,318
And you go, and there's really
nothing for you to do there,

189
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,862
but the kid's having a
really good time, so you...

190
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,572
You're kind of there.

191
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,657
That's... that's kind of
what it's like.

192
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,409
You down with the dundies?

193
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,870
You down with the dundie...

194
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,039
The waitress tripped
on the cord.

195
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,291
All right, all right.
Jokelanded.

196
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,794
So, we are here.
Thank you all for coming

197
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:49,172
to the 2005 dundie awards.

198
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,342
I am your host, Michael Scott,

199
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,385
and I just wanna tell you,

200
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,222
please, please,
do not drink and drive.

201
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,308
Because you may hit a bump
and spill the drink.

202
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,770
I'll just put these
on the group tab.

203
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,689
No, actually,
this year no group tab.

204
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,192
We're gonna be doing
separate checks. Roy: What?

205
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,319
Lonny: Oh, great. Is he serious?

206
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,363
You said we could
bring our families.

207
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,950
I did, and why
didn't you, Stanley?

208
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,410
I did. My wife's name is Teri.

209
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,788
Well, I'm looking
forward to meeting Teri.

210
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,290
It's this person whose
hand I'm holding, Michael.

211
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,000
(Breathing hard)

212
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,418
Voice: Oh, yeah.

213
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:28,545
Shut it.

214
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,673
Good. Speaking of relationships,

215
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,634
of all ways, shapes, and forms,

216
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,763
I was out on a very,
very hot date last night

217
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,640
with a girl from hr, Dwight.

218
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,392
Really? We don't have
any girls from hr.

219
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,810
No, that...

220
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,271
For the sake of this story.

221
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,374
And things were getting hot
and heavy. Dwight: Yeah?

222
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,234
Andl
asabout to
take her bra off... yeah?

223
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,070
When she had me fill out
six hours' worth of papen/vork.

224
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,530
Like an aids test?

225
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,283
No. God.

226
00:10:58,992 --> 00:10:59,993
(Michael clearing throat)

227
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:04,038
Michael: All right. So, let's get this party
started! Hey, let's go to poor Richard's.

228
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,374
Yeah, let's get out of here.

229
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,461
Guys, where you going?

230
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,965
Pam, the show's just
getting started. Sorry.

231
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,010
(Clearing throat)

232
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,721
Michael: And now, to someone
who goes... are you staying?

233
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,241
Yeah. Gotta eat somewhere.
Michael: Quietly about their job,

234
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,784
but always seems to land
the biggest accounts.

235
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,687
The busiest beaver award
goes to Phyllis lapin!

236
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,189
Michael: Yeah!

237
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,859
Way to go, Phyllis.
Nice work, per usual.

238
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,403
This says, "bushiest beaver."
What?

239
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,740
I told them "busiest."
Idiots. It's fine.

240
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,743
Well, we can fix it. We'll fix it
up. You don't have to display that.

241
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,546
Because that's what happens every
time... he's a jackass. Every year.

242
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,098
No. Come on, I'm
going to poor Richard's.

243
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,333
No, I don't wanna go.
I don't want to. Pam.

244
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,044
If you would have asked
me that, then you would know.

245
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,463
Hello, everybody.

246
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,007
Michael: You know,
Michael called... hey.

247
00:11:56,341 --> 00:12:00,053
How are you? I thought you had
left. No, I just... I decided to stay.

248
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,305
I'll just get a ride
home from Angela. Oh.

249
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,309
Michael: I'm going to call
jan Levinson-gould...

250
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,686
Oh, good.
Ijuflinfimeforfing yeah.

251
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,688
Of dundermifflin,

252
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,191
and me so horny. Right?

253
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,901
You know what I'm talking about.

254
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,194
Can I get a drink?

255
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,654
(Michael exclaiming)

256
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,448
(You sexy thing playing)

257
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,700
This next award goes to somebody

258
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,620
who really lights up the office.

259
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,122
Somebody who I think a lot of us

260
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:31,084
cannot keep from checking out.

261
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,045
The hottest in the office award

262
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:38,508
goes to Ryan, the temp!

263
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,260
Michael: Yeah!

264
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,886
(All clapping)

265
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,306
You sexy thing sexy thing, you

266
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,641
here you go.

267
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,937
Hanging and a humming and a huh

268
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,606
come from baby?

269
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,358
(Whooping) There
you go. There you go.

270
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,944
What am I gonna do
with the award?

271
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,658
Nothing. I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

272
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,537
That's the least
of my concerns right now.

273
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:12,542
And the tight ass award
goes to Angela.

274
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,962
Not only because she is
everybody's favorite stickler,

275
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,257
butbecause
she has a great caboose.

276
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,635
So, come on down.

277
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,515
(Laughing)

278
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,561
(Slurping)

279
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,771
I think those might be empty.

280
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:37,608
No, no, 'cause the ice melts,
and then it's, like, second drink.

281
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,278
Second drink?

282
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,864
The spicy curry award

283
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,825
goes to our very own
Kelly kapoor!

284
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,660
Get on up here!

285
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,370
There you go.

286
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,581
"Spicy curry." What's that mean?

287
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,184
Not everything means
something. It's just a joke.

288
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,836
Yeah, but why'd you give it
to me? I don't know. I just...

289
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,296
This is a bowler.
I know. It's...

290
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,607
They didn't have any more
businessmen. Yeah, but everyone else...

291
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,300
Just sit down, Kelly.

292
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,635
(Sighing)

293
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,139
It's so freaking hot in there.

294
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,700
Now I know what Bob hope
was going through

295
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,976
when he performed
in Saudi Arabia. Man!

296
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,687
Michael: I got Dwight
sucking the funny out of the room.

297
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:15,956
But, you know,
you do what you can do.

298
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,249
(Tiny dancer playing)
Here we go.

299
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,568
He's early with the cue.
I've gotta go.

300
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:25,114
You have won a tiny dundie

301
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,240
(howling)

302
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:29,243
Sing it, Elton!
Hey, thanks, guys.

303
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,787
Hey, where you guys from?

304
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,663
We just came
from your mama's house.

305
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:33,849
Are you guys gonna finish that?

306
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,500
Michael: All right, yeah.

307
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,543
Man: Sing another song, dude.

308
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,230
You know what, guys, we're
just having a little office party.

309
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,839
So, if you wanna... hey!

310
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,800
You know, cool it, guys, really.

311
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,677
Man: You suck, man. You suck.

312
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,810
Let's cut it.

313
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,436
(Clears throat)

314
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,691
I had a few more dundies
to give out tonight,

315
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,778
but I'm just gonna cut it short

316
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,407
and wrap it up, so everybody
can enjoy their food.

317
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,077
Thanks for listening,
those of you who listened.

318
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,286
(Michael clearing throat)

319
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,080
This last dundie is for Kevin.

320
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,499
This is the "don't go in
there after me" award.

321
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,460
It's for the time that I went
to the bathroom after him

322
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,671
and it was really,
really smelly.

323
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,844
There you go.

324
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,144
Yay, Kevin!

325
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,228
(Pam whooping)

326
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,690
Forkewanorsfinhngup
the bathroom! Yeah.

327
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,941
All right, kev!

328
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,359
(Whooping)

329
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,445
Hey, I haven't gotten one yet.

330
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,655
Michael: Yeah. Yes, I
have not gotten one, either.

331
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,824
Jim: So, keep going.
More dundies!

332
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,535
Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!
Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!

333
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,204
All: Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!
Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!

334
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,057
All right, all right,
all right, all right, okay.

335
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,684
Michael: All right.
We'll keep them rolling.

336
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,710
Okay,
this is the fine work award.

337
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,130
This goes to Stanley for all
the fine work he did this year.

338
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,608
Pam: For the fine work. Fine work,
Stanley! Michael: You know you did.

339
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,967
Hear, hear!

340
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,220
Speech! Speech!
Speech! Speech! Speech!

341
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,474
Well, last year
I got great work,

342
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,476
(laughing)

343
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,312
So I don't know what
to think about this award.

344
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:23,983
But at least I didn't get smelliest
bowel movement like Kevin.

345
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,864
And this next award is going out

346
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,157
to our own little Pam beesly.

347
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,619
I think we all know what award
Pam is gonna be getting this year.

348
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:38,164
It is the
whitest sneakers award,

349
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,042
because she always has
the whitest tennis shoes on.

350
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,045
Get on down here!

351
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,881
Pam beesley,
ladies and gentlemen!

352
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,674
Oh, here we go.

353
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:53,054
I have so many people
to thank for this award.

354
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,807
Okay, first off, my keds,

355
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:59,185
because I couldn't have
done it without them.

356
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,729
Pam: Thank you.

357
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:05,107
Let's give Michael a round of
applause for emceeing tonight,

358
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,611
because this is a lot harder
than it looks.

359
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,531
And also because of Dwight, too.

360
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,536
So, finally,
I want to thank god,

361
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:20,081
because god gave me this dundie

362
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:24,001
and I feel god
in this chili's tonight.

363
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,171
(Whooping)

364
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,215
Pam beesley,
ladies and gentlemen!

365
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,260
Thank you. Yeah!

366
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,808
(Sighing)

367
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,436
(Both sighing)

368
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,940
Jim: What a greatyear
for the dundies.

369
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,944
We got to see ping and we learned
Michael's true feelings for Ryan,

370
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,195
which was touching.

371
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:55,575
And we heard Michael change the
lyrics to a number of classic songs,

372
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,953
which, for me,
has ruined them for life.

373
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,997
((I've had)
The time of my life playing)

374
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,249
What? Nothing.

375
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,168
Okay. What?

376
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,337
I don't know. What?

377
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,257
Oh, my god!

378
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,926
You are so drunk.

379
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,220
Did you get that? Please
tell me that you got...

380
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,240
This is all going to be on...
This woman is having a seizure.

381
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,826
Grab her tongue! Grab her tongue!
It's okay, I'm a sheriff's deputy.

382
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,060
Well, he's a volunteer.
Don't get into that now.

383
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,913
Dwight: We need
something to cushion her head.

384
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,749
(Singing parody) Throw pillow, a
cushion... okay, I'm gonna use my shirt.

385
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,275
Pam: Get off of me. Dwight: No!

386
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,004
Man: I'm sorry, sir, you're
gonna have to put your clothes on.

387
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,088
People are trying to eat.
I can't.

388
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,990
Was this year's dundies a
success? Well, let me see.

389
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,409
I made Pam laugh so hard
that she fell out of her chair

390
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,077
and she almost broke her neck.

391
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,579
So I killed, almost.

392
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,540
Oh, my god!

393
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:48,878
I just want to say that this
was the best dundies ever.

394
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,588
(Screaming)

395
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,465
Careful, careful, careful.

396
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,134
We have a strict policy here
not to over-serve.

397
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:59,138
Apparently, this young woman was sneaking
drinks off of other people's tables.

398
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,723
I xeroxed her driver's license,

399
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:04,685
and she is not welcome at
this restaurant chain ever again.

400
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,229
Great work tonight.
Watch your step.

401
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,023
Excehent thanks

402
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,985
I had to check her pupils to make
sure there wasn't a concussion.

403
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:16,572
Yes, that, too. But, I mean,
with the audio. Great work.

404
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:23,329
I feel bad about what I wrote
on the bathroom wall.

405
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,456
No, you don't.

406
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,751
Oh, here she is.

407
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,173
Careful, careful, whoa.
All right, easy.

408
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,092
You're almost there.

409
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,510
Hey,

410
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,846
can I ask you a question?

411
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:42,765
Shoot

412
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,774
I just wanted to say thanks.

413
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,652
It's not really a question.

414
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,029
Okay, let's get you home, drunk.

415
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:02,827
All right.

416
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,412
Good night. Have a good night.

417
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,955
Thank you, Angela.

