1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,879 It is Friday morning 2 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,839 and it is another beautiful day 3 00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,842 in Scranton, Pennsylvania. 4 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,636 (Gasps) 5 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,513 Oh, my god! 6 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,020 Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. 7 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,107 We have a serious problem here. 8 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,431 All right everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. 9 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:27,778 Pretend you're not here. 10 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,530 Are we in danger? 11 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,075 There's no time to think about it, this is real. 12 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,953 Just... everybody... 13 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,082 (Knocking on door) 14 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,834 Kevin: Michael, should I call the... 15 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,545 What? 16 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:50,092 The it tech guy and me did not get off to a great start. 17 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,169 Yeah, I tried to install it myself, 18 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:30,215 but you guys have these things so password protected... 19 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,759 Thatjust means you have to enter your password. 20 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,637 What's your password, Michael? 21 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,181 Thafs_. 22 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,641 1234? Yes. 23 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,609 (Yelling) Michael... 24 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,570 Sorry. Please don't do that. 25 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,172 Okay, I'm sorry. What is going on in there? 26 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,782 Why is he here? What are you doing? 27 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,285 I can't tell you. You have to tell me. 28 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,370 I don't have to tell you anything. Look, Michael, 29 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,391 (sighing) I know you don't want to have to think about this, 30 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,709 but if something were to happen to you, god forbid, 31 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,711 then I would need to know in order to take over. 32 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,606 Dwight, nothing is going to happen to me, okay? 33 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,715 I'm in the best shape of my life. Look at this. 34 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,027 Yeah, but that doesn't matter, you could get a brain aneurysm... 35 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,528 I'm not going to get... Or hit by a car... 36 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,054 Stop... or a bus or a train. 37 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,657 You could get poisoned, fall down a well, step on a mine, choke. 38 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,619 I'm not... okay, if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, 39 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,269 you can have my job, okay? 40 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,979 Why don't you just go away? 41 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:29,900 There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. 42 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,819 His salary, that would depress them. 43 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,488 His bed. 44 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,868 And I am not going to tell them 45 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,995 that I'll be reading their e-mails. 46 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:43,955 So how do you search? 47 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,749 By keyword phrase. 48 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,502 Try "profits." 49 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,295 No, try "Michael Scott." 50 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:55,008 "Michael," "boss" and'tunny' 51 00:02:57,219 --> 00:03:00,055 oh, my god. Wow! 52 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,099 E-mail from Stanley. 53 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,768 Stanley, terribly nice guy. 54 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,353 "Sorry I didn't write back sooner. 55 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,665 "I can't go to the game tonight because my boss, Michael, 56 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,041 "is an ass and making me stay late." 57 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,401 Well, Stanley's an ass. 58 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,569 Not one of our harder workers. 59 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,451 Hey, what's the deal, Michael? 60 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,328 Why are you spying on our computers? 61 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,873 Oh, no! Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. 62 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,875 What other ghost stories do you have for us? 63 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,335 That I'm a robot? 64 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,632 I will destroy everything in my path. 65 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,925 Oscar: Actually, we just... 66 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,760 (Mimicking robotic sounds) Actually... 67 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,053 Okay. 68 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,640 Oil can. 69 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,601 Oil can. 70 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,853 Tin man. 71 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,522 Actually, we just got a memo from it 72 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,482 saying you're doing e-mail surveillance. 73 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,026 What? No, that defeats the whole purpose. 74 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,237 So it's true? You have access to our e-mails? 75 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,489 You know what the problem is? I think I do. 76 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:03,410 The problem is that when people hear the term "big brother," 77 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,163 they immediately think it's scary or bad. 78 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,541 But I don't. I think, "wow, I love my big brother." 79 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,793 I gotta erase a lot of stuff. 80 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,297 A lot of stuff. 81 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:19,760 Oh, hey. Just so you know, if you have any sensitive e-mails, 82 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,887 they need to be deleted immediately. 83 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,597 Good. I know. 84 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,148 Something just happened. 85 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,525 Dwightjust told Angela that she has to delete 86 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,028 all of her sensitive e-mails immediately. 87 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,863 What? I know. 88 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,492 Do you think that they're, like... 89 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,076 Right. No, no. 90 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:46,495 (Humming) 91 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,954 (Exclaiming disgustedly) 92 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,625 Maybe. 93 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,961 It's like squishing a spider under a book. 94 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,256 It's going to be really gross, but I have to look 95 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,634 and make sure that it's really dead. 96 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:04,304 So if you guys see anything... 97 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,515 Hey, Dwight? 98 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,727 My friend is kind of into these two girls that he works with. 99 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,812 Nice. 100 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,814 One is tall and brunette, 101 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:17,108 and the other one is short and blond 102 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,778 and perky and kind ofjudgmental. 103 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,988 Who do you think he should choose? 104 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,784 Does he have access to their medical records? 105 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,082 I think one of the greatest things about modern america 106 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,584 is the computerization of medical records. 107 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,046 As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records 108 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,798 or surgical histories. 109 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,008 Yeast infections. 110 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:46,263 There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. 111 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:51,017 Probably because we're downriver 112 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,770 from that old bread factory. 113 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:58,650 Michael: Meredith has an evite from Jim. 114 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,361 Barbeque at Jim's tonight. 115 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,113 Tonight? 116 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,407 Wonder where my evitation is. 117 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,617 Click on guest list. 118 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,288 Angela, Stanley, Oscar, Meredith, 119 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,207 Phyllis, Kevin, creed. 120 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,459 Must be... 121 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,387 Hey, Angela. How's it going? Hey. 122 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,555 It's okay. 123 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,349 Listen, are you bringing anyone to Jim's party tonight? 124 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,393 No. Are we supposed to? 125 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,896 No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think so. 126 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,899 Excuse me. 127 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:55,332 There is always a distance between a boss and the employees. 128 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,543 It is just nature's rule. 129 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,295 It's intimidation mostly. 130 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,006 It's the awareness that they are not me. 131 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,760 I do think that I'm very approachable 132 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,721 as one of the guys. 133 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,891 But maybe I need to be even approachabler. 134 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,770 (Chattering) 135 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,108 Are you going to eat with us? Of course. 136 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,612 Hanging with my crew, crew that I am one of. 137 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:29,741 Hanging with my cup of noodles. 138 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:33,453 This is a meal in a cup. Right here. Hot, tasty. 139 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,955 Reminds me of college. 140 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,499 Lived on this stuff. Brain food. 141 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,625 (Grunting appreciatively) 142 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,044 You know what I really, really miss about college? 143 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,462 The parties. 144 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,800 Everybody would go, the athletes, the nerds, professors. 145 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,052 The professors would go to the parties? 146 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,638 Yeah. They were the most fun. 147 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,307 We always invited them. 148 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,770 Jim: It's true, I'm having a party. 149 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,690 I've got three cases of imported beer, 150 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,819 karaoke machine and I didn't invite Michael. 151 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,571 So, three ingredients for a great party. 152 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,512 And it's nothing personal. I just think that if he were there, 153 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,868 people wouldn't be able to relax, you know, have fun. 154 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,329 And my roommate wants to meet everybody. 155 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,332 Because, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. 156 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,669 He is very real. 157 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,342 What? 158 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,724 Oh, yes! 159 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,017 Thank you. 160 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,191 Question. 161 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,444 On the Internet, there are several different options 162 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,696 to get to your house for the party tonight, 163 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,823 and I was wondering... Could you keep that down? 164 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,107 (Whispering) Because not everybody knows about the party. 165 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,372 (Whispering) Like who? Who doesn't know? 166 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,583 Michael. 167 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,502 Why just Michael? 168 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,089 Because it's a surprise. 169 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,507 Is it? 170 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,134 Oh, that's perfect. 171 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,469 So don't tell. 172 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,054 Okay. I won't. 173 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,767 So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael. 174 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,727 Really? That's great. I know. 175 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,896 Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere. 176 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,982 Oh, man. 177 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,377 Oh, you know, speaking of which, I was just trying to get 178 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,196 a handle on numbers for food and stuff, 179 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,156 so do you think Roy's gonna come, or... 180 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,991 Oh, no, he can't make it. 181 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,493 Okay, cool. 182 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,955 Hey. Hey, there. 183 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,166 Almost quitting time. 184 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,460 Yep, it's 4:00. 185 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:50,590 One more hour to take care of anything you forgot to do. 186 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,134 (Clearing throat) 187 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:56,179 Hey, you know, I don't know if you have any plans tonight, 188 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,431 but if you don't, we could hang out. 189 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:01,893 Oh, um... 190 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,604 I can't. 191 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,980 You have plans? Yeah, I do. 192 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,357 Yeah? I do, too. I do, too. 193 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,526 You do? Big plans. I do. Yeah. 194 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,795 Because you just said you wanted... 195 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,695 Tonight? I can't do it tonight, no. 196 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,823 Improv class. I have improv class. 197 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,186 Hanging out with my improv buds. 198 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,242 Yeah. Really? 199 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,427 Thatsounds like a lot of fun. 200 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,953 Oh, it's the best. It is the best. 201 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,704 I would not miss it for the world. 202 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,582 But if something else came up, I would definitely not go. 203 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,003 Improv sounds great. 204 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,630 It is. 205 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,719 Okay. 206 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,887 All right. 207 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:39,556 (Man coughing) 208 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,640 What? 209 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,642 I think Stanley just coughed. 210 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,070 Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk you to your vehicular transport? 211 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,864 No, thanks. All right. 212 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,949 Oscan got big plans tonight... I'm on a call. 213 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,411 Okay. Kevin. Big man, big man, what are you doing tonight? 214 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,621 Where are you off to? My brother is in town 215 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,708 and we are going to see the Alaska film festival... 216 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:07,959 Okay, all right. 217 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:12,046 Hey, Angela. Rushie, rushie! Where're you rushing off to? 218 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,232 I'm just leaving for the day. 219 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,175 Yeah, well, duh! Where're you headed? 220 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,468 Charity bake drive. 221 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,220 Liar! You are a liar. 222 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,388 No. No, I'm not! 223 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,015 (Sighing) 224 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,143 Dwight! Oh, Dwight, my loyal compadre. 225 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,604 You and I are hanging tonight. 226 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,065 The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom 227 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,567 and our manhood. 228 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,587 You know what? Why don't we watch that show 229 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,697 that you've been wanting to watch? That stupid battleship galaxy. 230 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,948 Battlestar Galactica. 231 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,117 That's... whatever stupid show you want to watch, 232 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,553 we're watching it. I can't tonight. 233 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,496 Unfortunately, I've got plans. I have to go to practice. 234 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,248 Soccer practice. 235 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,542 I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight. 236 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,835 Clarinet. 237 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,128 You, too, Dwight? 238 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,632 Have fun tonight, whatever it is that you're doing, 239 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,384 and I'll see you Monday. 240 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,889 (Whispering) He has no idea. 241 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,124 Quick announcement, everybody, if I could have everybody's attention. 242 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,691 We do have wine in the kitchen 243 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,361 and there is beer available on the porch. 244 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:17,891 And despite what you might think 245 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,215 it's not all for Meredith and Kelly. 246 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,157 So please enjoy. Jim. 247 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,326 You really think this is a good idea? 248 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,203 A hide-a-key rock? 249 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,788 Hey, you must be Dwight. 250 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:27,872 You don't work with us. 251 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,499 That's because Mark's my roommate. 252 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,001 Hey, I love the birkenstocks. 253 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,086 Thanks. 254 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,714 Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car for special occasions. 255 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,217 (Whispering) Jim, come here. 256 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,219 When is the guest of honor coming? 257 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,972 Oh, laterish. 258 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,224 He's gonna love it. Great. 259 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,204 Just wanna let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised. 260 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,480 Hey. Just in time. Hey. 261 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,708 Do you wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave. 262 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,527 Definitely. Well, the group tour is now leaving then. 263 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,213 Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things 264 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,714 that we're going to be pointing out to you today. 265 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,949 You will be able to see both bedrooms 266 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,367 and if we're lucky, 267 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,810 maybe you get a chance to peek into the bathroom, who knows? 268 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,831 I have to remind you also that flash photography is prohibited 269 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,750 and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. 270 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,460 I know you might want to. 271 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,837 Hey, is Katie coming? 272 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,690 Actually, I haven't talked to her in a while. 273 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:18,715 It's off? 274 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,258 Isitcool if I call her? 275 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,718 We can talk about that later. 276 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,279 Okay, let's get right into it. 277 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,013 I need two people for the first scene. 278 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,180 (Exclaiming) 279 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,766 Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter! 280 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,935 Okay, Michael and... 281 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,105 Anybody? 282 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,107 Okay. How about Mary-Beth? 283 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,109 Come on. 284 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,028 Okay, so you start us off, Mary-Beth. 285 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,362 All right. Great. Okay. 286 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,868 (Singing) 287 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,078 Detective Michael scarn! I'm with the FBI! 288 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,706 Think about this. What is the most exciting thing 289 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,834 that can happen on TV or in movies or in real life? 290 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,544 Somebody has a gun. 291 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,505 That's why I always start with a gun. 292 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,882 Because you can't top it. 293 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,633 You just can't. 294 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,720 I'm supposed to meet my doctor here. Have you seen him? 295 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,180 He's a very angry midget. 296 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,724 Boom! Freeze! Michael scoon, FBI! 297 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,100 You know what you did. 298 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,269 (Imitating gun firing) 299 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,647 Yeah, you thought you could get away with your little ruse, didn't you? 300 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,732 Didn't you? 301 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,194 Well, you didn't, because I know where you hid the diamonds. 302 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,571 I've been onto you and your little friends for weeks. 303 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,865 Boom! Boom! Boom! 304 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,075 I'm not even in the scene! 305 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,409 Boom! Boom! Boom! 306 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,495 Stop! Stop! Stop! Okay. 307 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,306 You shot me, okay, great. Stop. Okay. What? Why? 308 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,290 You can't just shoot everyone in the scene. 309 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,684 Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene 310 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,228 you would have seen where it was going. 311 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,479 Okay, what about the scene they set up? 312 00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,712 Bodng. 313 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,131 No, itwasn't. No more guns. It could've... 314 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,674 No, no, Michael. 315 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,302 Why don't you give me all the guns you have? 316 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,472 Just get rid of all your guns and give them to me. 317 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,015 Great. 318 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,684 Okay. 319 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,775 Jim's bedroom. 320 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,615 See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. 321 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,575 It's... cool. 322 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,619 This is your desk? This is my desk. 323 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,995 Your home office? 324 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,122 Home office. 325 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,832 This is it. Yeah. 326 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,768 You have to sit down, so I can get the full effect. 327 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,128 Okay, sure. Will do. 328 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,089 Okay, wait. 329 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:27,218 So that would make me, like, right here. 330 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,138 Yeah, yeah, that feels about right. 331 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,265 And then, dwightwould be, like... 332 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,368 You know what? Let's just leave that image out of it, 333 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,643 because this is a happy place. 334 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,020 Happy thoughts, Pam, happy thoughts. 335 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:40,898 (Gasps) 336 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:41,983 Yearbook. 337 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,402 Yeah, you don't have to... All right. 338 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,904 Yes, that's not going to be awkward at all. 339 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,868 Oh, no. Oh, yeah. 340 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,162 You were so dorky. 341 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,246 Thank you. 342 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,714 Chris: Freeze. I'm in. 343 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,275 Do you want to go over the rules one more time? 344 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,592 No, no, no, no! 345 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:13,681 I'm looking in my wallet for money so you can tell me my fortune. 346 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,561 I promise it's worth it. 347 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,855 I can see you walking out of here 348 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,065 and you're thrilled with your reading. 349 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,611 What are you... 350 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,287 Michael, what did you tell him? Nothing. 351 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,080 Then why are his hands up? 352 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,624 Bill? 353 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,752 He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun. 354 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,253 (Sighing) 355 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,797 Okay, let's call it a day. Nice job. 356 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,090 Good. That was good. 357 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,593 Good work, everybody! 358 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,761 Angela! 359 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,680 Burger? Dog? Having fun? 360 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,766 I got sap on me. 361 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,644 Chicken, hot dog, burger. 362 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,896 I'm a vegetarian. 363 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,398 There is soda inside. 364 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,569 I didn't think the premium laser color-copy batch would sell as well as it did. 365 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,947 It surprised us all. I'll tell you why, because... 366 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,950 I'm sorry, guys. Can we please not talk about paper? 367 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,619 There's gotta be something else that we could talk about. 368 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,329 (Clearing throat) 369 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,337 Angela: I think it's all right. I mean, Jesus drank wine. 370 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,262 Hey, Phyllis. Come here for a second. 371 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,471 Sure. 372 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:39,684 Have you heard anything about any secret office romances or... 373 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,936 You tell me. 374 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,481 You do mean you and Jim, right? 375 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,859 Oh, god. I'm so sorry. 376 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:51,404 I mean, I thought, you guys hang out all the time, 377 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,782 and you're talking all the time... and I'm sorry. I... 378 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,326 Oh, it's okay, it's okay. 379 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,833 Not so fast, fire guy... 380 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,104 How do I get to Bernie's tavern from here? 381 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,231 Don't worry, we're all gonna carpool. To Bernie's, huh? 382 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,382 We're all going to Bernie's? 383 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,925 Sorry, we're not going as a group. 384 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,719 It's just a private friend 385 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,321 who happens to know all of us from different ways, 386 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,657 is throwing a private birthday thing. Right, right, right, right. 387 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,826 Well guys, I'd love to go to Bernie's with you, but you know what? 388 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,269 I have an office party. Big office party I need to go to. 389 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,646 Can't get out of it. Hey, see you later. Good job. 390 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,232 Nicejob, bill. Not. 391 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:32,028 (Singing along with karaoke) Here / go again on my own 392 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:37,074 going down the only road I've ever known 393 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,077 oh, hey, how's your little side project going? 394 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,705 Oh, yeah, I gave that up. Really? 395 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,250 Yeah, it turns out I was just grasping at straws. 396 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,753 Just because two people are hanging out, 397 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,880 it doesn't mean that they're together. 398 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,591 You know, like, people can just be friends. 399 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,843 And I think that it was really unfair of us 400 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,262 to assume that there was anything else going on. 401 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,683 (Singing) Just turn around now 402 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,853 'cause you're not welcome anymore 403 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,648 and I got all my... 404 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,149 Surprise! 405 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,070 Everybody! Wow. 406 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,322 Who opened the morgue for this thing? 407 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,165 I was just driving by, I thought I'd drop in. 408 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:21,077 There's some wine. I would love a glass, if you're going to open it. 409 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,870 Hello, temp, take myjacket. 410 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,163 (Michael laughing) 411 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,791 Oh, come on, that guy? 412 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,419 He is a good guy, not a terrorist. 413 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,963 Karaoke, I love it. 414 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:36,175 I am a karaoke fiend. 415 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,594 I call dibs, I got next. I got next up. 416 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:43,307 Come on, let's get this party started! 417 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,810 Okay, where is that wine? 418 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,312 Okay, this is a duet, so, 419 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,498 (islands in the stream playing) 420 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:53,651 I need somebody else. Pam, you wanna come up and sing this one? 421 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,654 Need somebody else. Takers, please. 422 00:19:57,154 --> 00:20:01,575 (Singing) Baby, when imet you there was peace unknown 423 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:02,660 Kelly? 424 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:06,205 I tried to get you with a fine-tooth comb 425 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,708 I was soft inside 426 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,086 there was something going on 427 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,756 this is the part, it goes to the girl. 428 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:20,886 (High-pitched tone) You do something to me that / can't explain 429 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:25,433 hold me closer and I feel no pain 430 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,643 every beat of my heart 431 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,480 we got something going on 432 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,318 tender love is blind 433 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:40,030 it requires a dedication 434 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,491 all this love we feel 435 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,285 needs no conversation 436 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,746 divided together 437 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,459 making love with each other 438 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,127 Michael: We're making love! 439 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,588 Islands in the stream 440 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,757 that is what we are 441 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,050 no one in between 442 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,678 how can we be wrong 443 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,555 sail away with me 444 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,475 talk! Just talk! 445 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:08,726 Shut up! 446 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,604 Funny story. The way I got into improv was... 447 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:15,649 I got into improv... the story about me getting into improv 448 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,818 was that I was walking down the street, 449 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,529 and a race car pulls up, and the guy says, 450 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,115 "hey you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen, 451 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,034 "or my name is not Dale earnhardt." 452 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,580 And that was an improv. 453 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,084 The real way was that I found a flyer.