1 00:00:00,209 --> 00:00:03,670 And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,231 They're just numbers and boring and... 3 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,256 Blech! 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,426 So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, 5 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,638 like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud. 6 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,519 And when we have a good quarter, 7 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:22,481 fireworks or a racecar. 8 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,443 Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination. 9 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,238 There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, 10 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:33,158 and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, 11 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:36,328 and then at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. 12 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,790 We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,796 Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. 14 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,799 Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it. 15 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,094 I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. 16 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,405 Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? 17 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,472 I saw it. 18 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,475 We have a lot of colored paper here. 19 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,978 Why, oh, why do we keep printing this on white? 20 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,813 No! Come on! 21 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,190 Yeah! I know. 22 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,192 I know. It's bland. 23 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,402 It's never going to happen. 24 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,320 Dude, you gotta believe. 25 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,031 Maybe we could have some sort of riddle? 26 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,116 Wait for it. 27 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:20,038 Like something that you have to look for, sort of a where's Waldo? 28 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,753 All right. All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. 29 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,046 That was so awesome. 30 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,465 That was awesome. Thank you. 31 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:36,054 Some days I am just on fire. What can I say? 32 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,465 Hey. There he is. 33 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,216 Hey, Meredith. How are you feeling? 34 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,111 I never thanked you for coming to the hospital. 35 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,596 Oh, please. It was my pleasure. Well, we all came, so... 36 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,890 Well, I really appreciate you coming. 37 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,892 I'm singling you out. 38 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,228 Anyway, I have this sharpie, 39 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,981 and I was wondering if you could sign my cast. 40 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,524 Mmm-hmm. 41 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,923 Can you write where I can read it? 42 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,324 Oh, yeah. 43 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,415 I'll read this when I get home. 44 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,833 All right. 45 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,482 Pam: Michael, this is the press release I was telling you about. 46 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,216 Ryan wants you to share it with everyone. 47 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,550 Does he? 48 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,927 He does. 49 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,888 Okay. Attention. 50 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,015 Earthlings, I have some news. 51 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:05,185 Beep, beep, beep. 52 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,812 Beep, beep, beep. Okay. 53 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,774 Today is the big day that I'm heading to New York to attend a party 54 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,901 with Sushi and important people. 55 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,987 On an unrelated note, if anybody has an interesting anecdote 56 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,948 that is not boring and easy to memorize, 57 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,909 please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you. 58 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,912 Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us? 59 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:29,584 And today, the dunder Mifflin infinity website officially launches. 60 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,463 Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. 61 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,590 It is my brain-grandchild. 62 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,884 And to celebrate its birth, 63 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,054 all of the different branches are going to have satellite parties, 64 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:44,891 which will be connected, via webcams and fibers, 65 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,686 to the real party, which is going on in New York City 66 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,731 at a very exclusive nightclub. 67 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:54,359 That is where all of the vips, 68 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:59,740 including yours truly, will be partying with New York City's finest. 69 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,908 And I do not mean policemen. 70 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,453 The company is projecting record high sales, 71 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:08,582 and that by 6:00, the website will be the new best salesman in the company. 72 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,916 Wow. Watch out, Dwight. 73 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,711 That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna be beaten by a website. 74 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,021 Actually it sounds like you are. 75 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,922 Really? 'Cause Ryan says so? 76 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,592 That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? 77 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,155 No, it doesn't. I'll find out tonight. 78 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,720 Yes, please let us know. 79 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,889 I can make more sales than a computer. 80 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,350 In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today. 81 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,852 Waste of time. 82 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,228 What's that, pipsqueak? 83 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,023 Waste of time. The website's going to win. 84 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,733 You believe a computer can beat me? 85 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,984 I don't care, butyes. 86 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,402 Well, I will prove you wrong. 87 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,321 I don't care, and you won't. You'll see. 88 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,198 I won't be watching, and I won't. 89 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,494 Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. 90 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,496 It's very complicated. 91 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,125 It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela, 92 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,336 who were both already prone to unpleasantness. 93 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,553 Stanley, you're dancing. 94 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,096 No, I'm not. 95 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,893 Yeah, I created a website. 96 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,980 Look, at the end of the day, apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. 97 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,066 This is a paper company, 98 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,152 and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest. 99 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,631 Dean: I told you I don't want you doing these things in here. 100 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,990 You can use your own office or do it in the hall. 101 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,244 Convergence, viral marketing, we're going guerilla, 102 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,387 we're taking it the streets, 103 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,413 while keeping an eye on the street, wall street. 104 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,849 I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. 105 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,501 In other words, it is what it is. 106 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,170 Buying paper just became fun. 107 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,759 And this is where I will record your sales. 108 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,886 Very nice, very nice. 109 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,849 And then I will say something positive like, "kudos," 110 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,600 or, "job well done." 111 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,769 Or, "zip-a-Dee-doo-dah!" 112 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,731 Icantteh if he's mocking me. 113 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,483 Just ignore him. 114 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,237 I can't do that. It's really hard for me to let things go. 115 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,489 I was mocking. 116 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,032 Thank you. 117 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,495 I just feel like we need something more to acknowledge when I make a sale. 118 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,622 Yes! Like a chime or a bell. 119 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,124 Or a gong. 120 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:25,343 Go to my car, open the trunk, inside you will see many pelts. 121 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:30,015 Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. 122 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,266 Bring it to me. 123 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,517 Yes! 124 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,860 Isn't 7:00 pm. A little late for a lunch party? 125 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,406 Lunch party? It's supposed to say "launch party." 126 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,658 What is wrong with you? 127 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:53,204 Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw, 128 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:57,334 so I googled, "how to deal with difficult people." 129 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,586 And I got all of this. 130 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,423 So we're gonna try out some new things today. 131 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,968 So, how do you feel about the fact that the banner says "lunch"? 132 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:12,182 I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. 133 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,810 Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid. 134 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,981 I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be awful. 135 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,859 It is awful. You've made this day awful. 136 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,363 Maybe you could just change the u into an a. 137 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,115 Then it would say "lanch party," Kevin. 138 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,199 Would it really be better if it said "lanch party"? 139 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,285 Lunch party. 140 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,870 It's supposed to say "launch." 141 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,580 Okay, wow, easy, booster seat. 142 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,707 Nobody cares about this party anyway. 143 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,792 I care. 144 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,461 "Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it. 145 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,672 "Oh, and here's $65 for your budget. 146 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,508 "Oh, and here are four idiots who will do nothing but weigh you down. 147 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,093 "Oh, and your cat's still dead." 148 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,970 Twenty seconds to go-time. 149 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,680 Got it. Carb up. 150 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,641 Really? Power gel? 151 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,978 Hey, if you want to win, you got to fuel like a winner. 152 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,064 Andy: Okay, we start. 153 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,234 As soon as I make this shot. 154 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,527 Hey! Go! 155 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,653 Yeah! 156 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,549 Hello, Susan. Dwight schrute. 157 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,702 What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight, 158 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,996 at the same time, not be working? 159 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,499 He's going through a breakup. What? 160 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,877 Yeah. I'm aware of that, but he's also being super-annoying, 161 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,163 and I'm not a perfect person. 162 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,506 Yeah! Yeah! 163 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,716 Got one! 164 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:31,011 Three reams! In your face, machines! 165 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,764 What kind of prank are you thinking? 166 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,476 What if I told you I could offer free shipping? 167 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,936 Sure, I'll hold. 168 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,207 Not sure. Just became self-aware. 169 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,793 So much to figure out. 170 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,921 I think I am programmed to be your enemy. 171 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:11,968 I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper. 172 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,077 Dwight: It appears that the website has become alive. 173 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,746 This happens to computers and robots sometimes. 174 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,331 Am I scared of a stupid computer? 175 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,250 Please, that computer should be scared of me. 176 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:48,379 I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. 177 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,508 You heard me right. I did so well last February, 178 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,511 that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise. 179 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,477 Michael: Okay. 180 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,729 Yes, it's too tight. 181 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,814 Way too tight. 182 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:06,898 Really? 183 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,233 This is why I'm here? 184 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,901 Why is it so tight? 185 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,361 It's a European cut. 186 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,154 It just looks bad. 187 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,576 Hey, what's hanging? 188 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,411 Setting up the webcam for the party. 189 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,122 Good, okay, cool. 190 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,419 How many pounds do you think I can lose by 7:00? 191 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,547 Depends. How much have you eaten already today? 192 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,383 I had one of those big... 193 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,593 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 194 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,556 Just one second. We're in a meeting. I'll see if he's available. 195 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,974 It's jan. 196 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,894 Why don't you want to go tonight? What... 197 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,872 All your friends are going to be there... my friends? 198 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,456 It'll be fun. Michael, I was terminated. 199 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,649 Just_ 200 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,001 Is it really that important to you? 201 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,068 Yeah. 202 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,528 All right. Thank you. 203 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,113 Go by yourself. 204 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,531 No. No. 205 00:10:56,698 --> 00:11:00,326 No. If I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. 206 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,872 Well... do I have your permission to invite Carole? 207 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,039 What? Jeez, Michael! 208 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,291 I'm sorry. 209 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,128 I'm sorry. It's just the first girl that popped into my head. 210 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,971 I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with. 211 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,382 Nice. 212 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,342 Website check, please. 213 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,136 305. 214 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,307 305. You, my friend, are winning handsomely. 215 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,143 It just made another sale. 380. 216 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:29,731 You, my friend, are in a very close second. 217 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,857 402. 218 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,734 Okay, why don't you just lay off, lady? 219 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,028 What do you want me to do? Not announce it? 412. 220 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,118 So, this is the dealio. 221 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,495 God has smiled upon me 222 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:48,082 and given me two tickets to the big party in New York, tonight. 223 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,418 What are you doing this evening? 224 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,882 Look at that. 225 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,593 They have their own little language now, like twins. 226 00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,719 Sure, we'll go. 227 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,682 All right. Well, fight it out amongst yourseres. 228 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,389 I was thinking Pammy, 229 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,266 but boys' night out is also good. 230 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,809 I'm sorry. What? 231 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,479 One of the tickets is for him. 232 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,856 Just let me know who the winner is. 233 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,276 Not it. Not it. No! 234 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,402 Iwon. 235 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,446 Definitely not. If anything it was a tie. 236 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,323 Tie goes to the girlfriend. 237 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:25,453 No, I realize you normally reorder in November, but what I'm suggesting... 238 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,538 You did what? 239 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,167 No. That's exactly what you're not supposed to do, damn it! 240 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,752 Why would you reorder from a computer 241 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,630 when you could have the personal touch of a salesman? 242 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,841 How's it going? Fine. Good. 243 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,301 Yeah? Yeah. 244 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,761 You look a little worried. 245 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,763 I do not look worried. 246 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,404 "Here's a suggestion, computer. 247 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,824 "I assume you read binary, so why don't you zero, one, one, 248 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,952 "one, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one?" 249 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578 Okay. 250 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:11,874 While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence 251 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:16,170 and learned every fact about everything and mastered the violin. 252 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,301 And sold more paper. 253 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,772 I asked for assorted cutlery, and I got back spoons. 254 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,441 These are worthless. 255 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,318 I want to understand what you're saying, 256 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:41,321 but it's difficult for me when you use that tone. 257 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,702 Phyllis, these are spoons. 258 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:52,290 Spoons have rounded tops and are used to scoop things. 259 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,043 What we need are forks, 260 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,921 which have prongs or tiny Spears on top. 261 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,800 And we need knives, which have blades. 262 00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,470 Do you understand me now? 263 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,555 Yes. 264 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,890 Goodie. 265 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,729 Hey, man. What's up, man? 266 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,647 What's going on? Paper delivery. 267 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,399 Oh, yeah? Kelly ordered this online. 268 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,287 What are you doing? 269 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,223 I am in the fight of my life against this computer, 270 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,499 and every sale counts. 271 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,269 But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, 272 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,754 "thanks for shopping with dunder Mifflin." 273 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,674 Damn it, Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did! 274 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,759 Who knows? 275 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:45,885 Return it! Return it now! 276 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,178 Hey. 277 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,407 How about instead of yelling at our sweet little miss kapour 278 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,059 over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk 279 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,728 and start selling multiple reams like a man. 280 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,064 You don't understand. 281 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,775 Okay, if this makes the difference, 282 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,986 I'm going to tell it that you were responsible. 283 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,780 Who's "it"? 284 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,203 There you go. 285 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,579 Thanks. 286 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,498 So, you still missing Ryan? 287 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,625 Not so much anymore. 288 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,340 Dwight: I am not a bad person. 289 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,884 When I left staples, I took some of their leads with me, 290 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,053 but I never intended to use them. 291 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,888 What did I intend to do with them? 292 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:34,559 Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir, 293 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,810 maybe use them. 294 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,730 Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would you like to pay 10% less for paper 295 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,691 than you're paying right now? 296 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,444 It's not important how I got your information. 297 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,573 What is important is that you say yes. Good. 298 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,159 All right, I'm ready to go, and I'm calling shotgun. 299 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,243 I'm driving? 300 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,744 Yes. Thank you. 301 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,468 All right. Let me just say goodbye to Pam. 302 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:59,375 Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye to Pam. Say goodbye to Pam. 303 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,588 Bye. I love you. 304 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,468 I love you. Okay. 305 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,387 I'm leaving inside Jim's car 306 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,723 I don't know when I'll be back again 307 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,644 yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back 308 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,271 I'll be back tomorrow. 309 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:24,484 Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight? 310 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,152 Because there's a party. 311 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,572 A party for the website I've been planning for two weeks. 312 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,910 If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster. 313 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,036 See you guys tomorrow. 314 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,206 Perfect. So let me just get some basic information from you. 315 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,885 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes. Could you repeat that? 316 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,058 Yes! Ten reams for the us. District court! 317 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,487 Did I happen to mention the 40 reams for the battered women's shelter? 318 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,862 Stop it. Give me that. Give it. 319 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,656 Did you see the board? 320 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,658 There's still an hour. 321 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,578 You ever read this? 322 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,706 Yeah. A long time ago, butlhkedit 323 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,166 I got it for Ryan. 324 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,418 I wanted to get him oh, the places you'll go! 325 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,545 But they were sold out. 326 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,506 I figured it's the same sort of stuff in here. 327 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,133 It's not. It's different. It's a good book. 328 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,470 What was that? 329 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,222 Leaving Pennsylvania. 330 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,308 Two kisses. 331 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,643 One for me. One for jan. 332 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,727 Gotcha. 333 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,372 You guys should come over for dinner, you and Pam. 334 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,957 That would be fun. Fhday? That would be fun. 335 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,857 Want to come over Friday? Can't. 336 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,484 After work, you... 337 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,194 Oh, no, 'cause... 338 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,716 You're gonna let me know when we're close, right? 339 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,659 Yes. Actually, I will tell you right now. 340 00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:01,289 It's a club called chat room, and there's a password to get in, 341 00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,624 which is actually "password," so... 342 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,792 Okay. 343 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,711 What are you doing? 344 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,921 That is an invitation to an online party. 345 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,215 No. No. I'm sure that's not. 346 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,720 Are there three "w's" at the beginning of the address? 347 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,515 Yes. Yeah. 348 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:26,897 Well, the invitation says vips only. Is this how you treat your vips, Ryan? 349 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,151 We're already in the city. 350 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:33,654 The main part, with the buildings. What am I supposed to do? 351 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,923 What do you want me to do tonight? 352 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,157 And if you tell me 353 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,243 that I have to drive back to Scranton to the satellite party, 354 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,037 I am going to throw up. 355 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,040 Okay, I am going to throw up. 356 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,584 I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan. 357 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,895 You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. 358 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,088 This is like when the freshmen would throw a party 359 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,549 and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. 360 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:59,555 Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that little twerp got the promotion over us? 361 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,974 Actually, I withdrew from consideration. 362 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,893 Yeah. I withdrew too. 363 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,781 Four, three, two, one! 364 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,157 Yes! 365 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,703 After numerous projections that the computer 366 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,997 would crush all salesmen in its path, 367 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:29,669 I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight schrute 368 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,839 has crushed his electronic Nemesis, if you will, 369 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,300 by a whopping 52 reams. 370 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,593 Reams. 371 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,446 Dwight: Wait, say it again. Announce it again. 372 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,471 Fifty-two reams! 373 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,634 No, no. No, the first part. 374 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,350 Dwight has defeated the computer. 375 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:49,438 Hey, so, what do you think? 376 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,233 I did it for you. 377 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,151 I didn't ask you to do it for me. 378 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,070 You didn't have to. 379 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,407 How do you tell someone it's over? 380 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:03,994 You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary? 381 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,666 Hello, Pam. 382 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,501 Hello. Hey, 383 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,920 do you have any men that you can fix me up with? 384 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,673 I would like to have a relationship with a man. 385 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,009 Pam: I'll get back to you. 386 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,553 Let me know. 387 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,987 All right, who wants to party? 388 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,150 Why aren't you in New York? 389 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,740 What? 390 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,783 I think I faked Oscar out. 391 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,148 You said you weren't coming back and we could leave early. 392 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,954 I think I faked Stanley out, too. 393 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,957 Who else thought that I was leaving and that you could all go home early? 394 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,668 Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. 395 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,837 Well, who needs New York? 396 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,465 Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton. 397 00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,632 Thank you. 398 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,802 No, no, no. This is going to be nothing like the party you've been planning. 399 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,473 This is going to be good, and everybody's gonna come. 400 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,309 What's wrong with Dwight? 401 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,435 He beat the computer. 402 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:13,355 Hey, good for you. Good for you! Scranton power. 403 00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:15,733 All right, you know what? 404 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,961 Angela, I'd like you to come into my office in 10 minutes. 405 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,362 Bring something to write with and something to write on. 406 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,530 Good! 407 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,286 It was a pretty disappointing day. 408 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,707 It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that 409 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,211 I wasn't as important as I thought I was 410 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,380 to a certain young executive who I'd cared about. 411 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,967 But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. 412 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,428 I did that in the car on the way home. 413 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,805 How are we doing on time? 414 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,139 The party starts in an hour. 415 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,559 Good. These are some things that I would like to have happen. 416 00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,772 "Beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, 417 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,649 "befierthfing, something made of ice"? 418 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,502 Those are just things. This is how I want it to feel. 419 00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,987 "Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"? 420 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:05,407 I would like this party to be sexier, 421 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,159 cooler, more important... 422 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,994 "Chocolates, someone famous"? 423 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,162 Yes. "Cool music, 424 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,122 "confetti, go-go dancers"? 425 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,000 I want it to embarrass all other parties. 426 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,337 I want it to be a party that the guys in New York 427 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,967 watch on the webcam and say, "wow, how did they get ai roker to come?" 428 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:24,927 I can't do this. Yes, you can. 429 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,011 I can't do it. 430 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,805 Yes, you can. I know you can. 431 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,307 I wouldn't say that if I didn't 100% believe it. 432 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,059 Who else could do this? 433 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,353 Okay. Okay. 434 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,456 No, seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? 435 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,691 Because we don't have a lot of time. 436 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,111 I'll get the pizza! 437 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,162 What do you think of Angela? 438 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,499 I think she's efficient. 439 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,085 No, not like that. As a woman. 440 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,755 W-o-m-a-n. 441 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,757 I hadn't noticed. 442 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,926 You hadn't noticed she's a woman? 443 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,180 I hear she's single and ready to mingle. 444 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,892 I'm thinking about making a play for her. 445 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,060 What do you think? Crazy, right? 446 00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:18,731 I think it's inappropriate to date someone you work with. 447 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,190 Isn't that part of the fun? 448 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,526 No. I think you should date Kelly. 449 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,238 She works here, too. How is that any different? 450 00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,490 She works in the annex. 451 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:31,577 You're also welcome to date Toby. 452 00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:34,914 Okay. 453 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,917 Good news! We get to go home? 454 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,463 Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo. 455 00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:44,131 Kevin: Wait. 456 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:48,761 Alfredo's pizza cafe? Or pizza by Alfredo? 457 00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:50,346 Same thing. 458 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,722 No. No, it's not. 459 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,199 All right. You know what? I don't understand 460 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,492 when you all talk at the same time. 461 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,852 Oscar, talk to him. 462 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,855 Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, 463 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:04,234 both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. 464 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,236 Which one did you order from? 465 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,657 Pizza by Alfredo. 466 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,493 All right, you know what? Okay, okay, what is better? 467 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:17,665 A medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? 468 00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:20,167 Medium amount of good pizza. Medium amount of good pizza. 469 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:26,173 Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. 470 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,885 It's like eating a hot circle of garbage. 471 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,599 You can pick one of these things. 472 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,727 It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this. 473 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:43,148 It should take you no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do. 474 00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:49,738 That seemed to shut her up. 475 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:54,302 You looking for dinner and a movie? 476 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:57,079 'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box. 477 00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:02,710 It just so happens, I know where you can find it, but again, 478 00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:06,380 not in the box. 479 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,969 Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying? 480 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,178 What? 481 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,471 Hello. 482 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,033 I have been working on a party for three weeks 483 00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:18,475 that just got thrown out the window, 484 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,728 so now I have to pull together a whole new party, 485 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,563 and my useless number two quit. 486 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,326 So now there's no one in charge of orchids, 487 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,316 chocolates or the thing that's made of ice. 488 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,253 And my upper back itches, and it's itched all day, 489 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:31,739 and I can't reach it. And Kevin had Greek food for lunch again! 490 00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:38,537 They say you should never mix business with pleasure. 491 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:39,663 Really? 492 00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:43,542 Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates. 493 00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:49,631 Yeah? 494 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,341 Pam: The pizza by Alfredo guy is here. 495 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:52,694 You don't have to say it like that. 496 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:53,969 I said it normal. 497 00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,892 Hey. Hey. 498 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,478 $63.50, and that's not including tip. 499 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,021 Right. I have a coupon, 500 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:07,816 so half of $63.50 and half the tip on $63.50... 501 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,819 Half-off coupons only apply to orders of two pizzas. 502 00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:13,614 Yeah, no, I told them on the phone I was ordering eight pizzas. 503 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,175 I don't care what you told them on the phone. 504 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:16,909 That's our policy. 505 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,828 You didn't actually think that I was going to spend 60 bucks on pizza? 506 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,163 Kevin: It's not pizza. Okay. 507 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:25,626 It doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's your policy, 508 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,711 it should say it on the coupon. 509 00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:29,755 What do you mean? 510 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:30,839 Not my problem. 511 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,382 It is your problem. 512 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:37,971 That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered 513 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,473 eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, 514 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,893 so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story. 515 00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:46,688 It's a great story. It's $63.50, and that's not including tip. 516 00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,273 I'm not giving that to you. 517 00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:50,359 Well, then you're not getting your pizzas. 518 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,402 No. No! You're not... no! 519 00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:56,031 You are not going anywhere! You're going to stay here 520 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,367 until we figure this out! What? 521 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:03,580 You know what? This young man needs to learn that that's not how you treat people! 522 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:05,999 I don't care if it's pizza! 523 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:10,462 Good business is about respect and accountability and follow-through. 524 00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:12,297 You don't just make promises 525 00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:15,300 and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? 526 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:18,220 Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. 527 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,531 Right now. Get into the conference room. 528 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,199 I'm not going in there. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. 529 00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:24,035 And you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. 530 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,477 Please. Thank you. 531 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,187 This is stupid. 532 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:30,023 No, you don't even know what stupid is. 533 00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:33,944 It's about to get all stupid up in here! 534 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,209 You find anything? 535 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,795 We think it's a straightforward kidnapping. 536 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,131 Stanley, could you look up accomplices? 537 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,591 Why can't you guys do it? 538 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,843 Because we're looking up jail time. 539 00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,720 Fine. 540 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:00,929 I've seen this kid before. 541 00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,573 He's one of the kids that sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp. 542 00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:07,269 Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed. 543 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:17,154 You ready to give me my discount now? 544 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,842 Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time? 545 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,117 What kind of business is this? 546 00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,327 We're a paper company. 547 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:25,138 The best paper company in the whole wide world, okay? 548 00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:27,206 All right, Dwight, knock it off. 549 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,476 You'd better think about what you are doing, young man. 550 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,061 You better think about what you're doing. 551 00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:36,590 No! I'm an adult. I don't have to think or do anything. 552 00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:40,010 You're a kid. You're a little, snot-nosed punk kid 553 00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:42,262 who thinks he's better than everybody else, 554 00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:43,764 because he's some hotshot. 555 00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:46,225 And you don't know anything about sales! 556 00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:48,310 So stop being a disrespectful iittlejerk, okay? 557 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:49,478 Sales? 558 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,123 Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last time I checked, that's called sales. 559 00:28:52,147 --> 00:28:53,148 You're such a loser. 560 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,292 What did you just call him? 561 00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:55,984 A loser. What did you say? 562 00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,236 A loser. What? 563 00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,612 A loser. What was that word? 564 00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,572 Stop getting him to say it! 565 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:02,908 You just made this worse, a whole lot worse. 566 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,243 I can make him talk, Michael. 567 00:29:04,326 --> 00:29:05,386 Dwight: Michael! Pam: Michael! 568 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,930 We are accomplices. I'm not going to jail for this. 569 00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:08,538 Michael: Stop talking all at once! 570 00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:09,748 You need to let him go. 571 00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:13,168 Let go of little jerk-boy before he has learned his lesson? 572 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,836 Yes. You know what, Jim? 573 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,799 The world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions. 574 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,634 Yes, but not by kidnapping them. 575 00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:22,094 I'm not kidnapping him. 576 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,471 I'm keeping him until I get what I want. 577 00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:25,639 As a hostage. 578 00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:26,783 I think you're over-thinking it. 579 00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:27,867 I think you're under-thinking it. 580 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,559 Yes. Is Alfredo there? 581 00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:32,938 May I speak to a manager, then? 582 00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:37,734 Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid 583 00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:40,570 until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? 584 00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:43,448 Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. 585 00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:50,372 Also, I would like him to throw in two, three pizzas, 586 00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:52,833 just for our... ransom. 587 00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,001 Trouble. 588 00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:57,671 Okay. All right. 589 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,465 What did he say? 590 00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:01,591 He said no. 591 00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:02,843 So we should let him go. 592 00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,261 No. No. 593 00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:05,470 Okay. 594 00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:07,889 Listen up, kid, 595 00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:09,933 I don't like you, 596 00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:14,146 but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights. 597 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,777 I have to hang these. 598 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:30,412 Why are you looking at her like that? 599 00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:43,884 What's going on? 600 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:46,070 Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands. 601 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,721 Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kevin? 602 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:49,806 We're getting hungry out there. 603 00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:55,729 We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. 604 00:30:55,812 --> 00:31:00,776 We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's pizza cafe 605 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:05,405 while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end. 606 00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:11,995 I needed another hour. It could have been done in another hour. 607 00:31:12,079 --> 00:31:13,789 I think it looks good. 608 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,832 That's why you're not in charge, Meredith. 609 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:24,049 Here you are, my dear. One thing made of ice. 610 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,303 How did you... 611 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,014 Where'd you... 612 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,850 It's just ice. It'll melt all over the floor. 613 00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,244 Will you help me put it over there? 614 00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:36,812 Okay. Yes, iwill. 615 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,063 Excuse me. 616 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,315 I stole it. 617 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,987 Thank god. 618 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:49,991 Michael? Ryan wants to introduce the branch managers in a few minutes. 619 00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:52,119 You just have to wave and introduce yourself. 620 00:31:52,202 --> 00:31:54,496 I'll just wave and introduce myself. 621 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:55,914 Hey, quick question. 622 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:56,998 Yeah? 623 00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:59,000 If I take a pizza, 624 00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:02,838 do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof? 625 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,840 Good. I'm all over it. 626 00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:07,467 What do we got here? 627 00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:09,136 Good pizza. Yeah? 628 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,221 Cheese? Or do we have other flavors? 629 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,389 Different stuff. 630 00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:14,266 Which one is this? Perfect. 631 00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,771 Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, 632 00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:21,416 just before you walked me over to my desk? 633 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,649 Yeah. 634 00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:26,862 "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time 635 00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:29,364 "before you met your desk-mate, Dwight." 636 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:33,034 And that's why I knew. You? 637 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,579 You came up to my desk and you said, 638 00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:40,542 "this might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, 639 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:43,670 "but that mixed-Berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired." 640 00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:45,922 That was the moment that you knew you liked me? 641 00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:47,090 Yup. 642 00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,425 Wow. 643 00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:51,779 Can we make it a different moment? 644 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:52,929 Nope. 645 00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,349 Can I start talking? 646 00:32:57,517 --> 00:33:01,396 Is this thing on? Give me a signal when you want me to start. 647 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:08,278 And now from my old hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss, 648 00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:09,988 Michael Scott. 649 00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:11,990 Hey, I just think you should know 650 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:15,035 that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer. 651 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,745 So take that. 652 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,832 Always a jokester. 653 00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:25,587 How about that image? Crystal clear. 654 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:30,926 If anyone out there is listening, I am being held here against my will. 655 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,219 I'm a minor. 656 00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:38,475 What are you doing? 657 00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:40,477 You said your upper back itched. 658 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,103 I didn't ask you to scratch it. 659 00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:44,540 Look, Angela, I know this is weird because we work together, 660 00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:49,194 and because up until and possibly including now I've repulsed you, 661 00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:50,612 but I like you. 662 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,405 I'm not dating you. 663 00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:57,619 So Angela is stubborn as a mule. 664 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,250 She's giving off fairly strong vibes that she's not interested. 665 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:09,089 But do I like her or not? 666 00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:14,553 Because if I like her, then I can't back down. 667 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:19,766 If you're going number one, you've got 10 more seconds. 668 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:23,853 Hey, have you seen Jim? 669 00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:27,357 I guess he wanted to get out of here before the cops find out. 670 00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:33,655 Hey, what are you doing? I'm just scaring him. 671 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,384 Now the trick is to make him think you're going to do something to him. 672 00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:37,576 I can hear you, man. Shut up, 673 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,011 or I'm going to punch you in the throat! 674 00:34:39,035 --> 00:34:40,579 Hey, hey, hey, stop it. Stop it. 675 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:42,956 No. God. Oh, my god. 676 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:47,877 Oh, my god. Oh, no. No. 677 00:34:49,379 --> 00:34:51,464 I kidnapped a kid. You had to. 678 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,300 What other choice did you have? 679 00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:55,510 I could have paid for the pizza. 680 00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,054 Vveh, yeah. 681 00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,852 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 682 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:07,606 This is Michael. 683 00:35:07,689 --> 00:35:08,833 Hello, Michael. This is Ryan. 684 00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,400 First off, thanks for the shout out. 685 00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:12,110 You're breaking up. I can't hear you. 686 00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:14,279 And why is there a kid on your webcam 687 00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:16,615 saying that he's being held against his... 688 00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:18,825 Okay. 689 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,162 I want you to go in there 690 00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:26,249 and pay him for the pizzas and give him a generous tip, 691 00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:28,585 no more than 10%. 692 00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:29,794 What will you do? 693 00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:32,589 I will open the door. 694 00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,549 Yeah. 695 00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:36,718 And hopefully he will walk out. 696 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,348 And the rest is out of our hands. 697 00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:45,393 So I'm paying full price? 698 00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,561 Yes. 699 00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:50,982 Here we go, 65. You know what? 700 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,485 Here's two more. 701 00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,408 See you. Drive safely. 702 00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:04,454 Okay. 703 00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:06,581 Now what? 704 00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:09,417 Now we wait and hope that nothing happens. 705 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:13,296 All right. I assume I'm going to be reimbursed for the pizzas? 706 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:15,590 Not now, Dwight. Please, not the time. 707 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,136 A toast. 708 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,971 I'm gonna make it good. 709 00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:25,308 To avoiding a class-two felony charge. 710 00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:35,235 Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. 711 00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:44,411 Hello. Hang on. 712 00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:58,091 If you change your mind 713 00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:01,469 I'll be first in line 714 00:37:01,553 --> 00:37:06,141 honey, I'm still free take a chance on me 715 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,476 if you need me, let me know 716 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,228 going to be around 717 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,022 if you got no place to go 718 00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:17,569 if you're feeling down, if you're all alone 719 00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:19,988 when the pretty birds have flown 720 00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:24,743 honey, I'm still free take a chance on me 721 00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:29,247 going to do my very best and that ain't no lie 722 00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:33,793 if you put me to the test, if you let me try 723 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:38,047 take a chance on me 724 00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:40,133 that's all I ask of you, Angela. 725 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:46,389 Take a chance, take a chance 726 00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,472 Man 1: Hey, how'd it go? Man 2: Yeah. What did she say? 727 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,122 I don't know yet. 728 00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:12,207 I have to call you back. 729 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:13,350 Man 1: Come on, you gotta give us something. 730 00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:14,793 I'll call you back. 731 00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,963 I have to go clean up after the party. 732 00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,025 What a horrible day. 733 00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:47,617 Well, I need to get the horrible taste of this pizza out of my mouth. 734 00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:50,829 I'd really like some Sushi. 735 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:54,457 I was hoping that I would have New York-ster Sushi today, 736 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:56,626 and you know what? 737 00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:58,461 What? I'm gonna get it. 738 00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,089 Coopers has calamari. 739 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:04,509 No. There's only one place to get authentic New York-style Sushi. 740 00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:06,052 Tokyo? New York. 741 00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:08,638 Wanna go? Yes. 742 00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:09,722 All right. You drive. 743 00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:11,015 Okay. 744 00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,141 Dwight: Nice. 745 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:13,601 Michael: Here we go. 746 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:15,144 Mmm. 747 00:39:15,228 --> 00:39:17,146 Perfect. I'm sorry. 748 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:19,148 You guys are going to have to leave. 749 00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,276 Hey. You know what? 750 00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:26,406 Come on, come on, let's go. 751 00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:37,709 Hey, you're the Scranton guy? 752 00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:38,793 Guilty. 753 00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:41,129 I liked your statement tonight. 754 00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:42,881 Thanks. 755 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:46,175 This is the guy that beat the computer. 756 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:49,512 Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to see Ryan all embarrassed by that. 757 00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,514 Yeah. Yeah. 758 00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:52,891 See you later. 759 00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:54,976 Later on. 760 00:39:56,686 --> 00:40:01,941 I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would, 761 00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:06,654 because it didn't work out for me, and I'm very embarrassed. 762 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,573 I have egg all over my face. 763 00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,116 I'm 12 years old. 764 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,869 I spent so much time in Scranton, but I never sold any paper. 765 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,914 I never sold any paper because I'm an idiot. 766 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,666 I started a fire with my cheese pita. 767 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,752 I dated an Indian girl. 768 00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:22,587 I started a fire. 769 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,671 I started a fire. 770 00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:24,839 Now I've got a beard. 771 00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,442 And I got a new suit, and I'm your boss. 772 00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:28,106 I get everything I want 'cause I'm very... 773 00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:29,802 I'm hot. I'm so hot. 774 00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:31,095 That's why everybody... 775 00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:32,430 Ldidn't get... 776 00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,973 I don't understand that. 777 00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,225 That's part of it, just a... 778 00:40:52,909 --> 00:40:54,160 Wanna head back? 779 00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:57,330 Yeah, let's go.