1 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:03,855 I really didn't think I was gonna have a good time, but I did. 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,716 I totally did. I love camping. Anything can happen. 3 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,094 Oh, itwasn't camping. It was more of a wilderness retreat. 4 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,387 Morning. Michael. 5 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,432 Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods 6 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:19,978 for a get-to-know-you weekend. Michael wasn't invited. 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:25,234 Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him. 8 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:26,485 Did you sleep in cabins? 9 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,696 Under the stars. It was really beautiful. 10 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:33,325 You should come. Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once. 11 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,160 (Michael laughing) 12 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,748 Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. 13 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,917 Toby went, but Michael didn't go. 14 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,169 He wasn't invited. 15 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:48,090 Who went? Me, Dan from buffalo, Mark chisholm, 16 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,969 Jack from Albany, and Ryan, obviously. We ate so many s'mores 17 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:56,431 I finally had to say, "no more s'mores. No more s'mores." 18 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:04,523 Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. 19 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,276 It was this amazing, beautiful... 20 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,779 Hey. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. 21 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,741 I need that room at some point, sojust wrap it up. 22 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,661 Michael wasn't invited. 23 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:42,811 Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping. 24 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,148 And... do you know what "hypothetical" means? 25 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,316 Not real. Got it. 26 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,819 So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, 27 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,238 would you go? Absolutely. Yes. 28 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,950 When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. 29 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,702 Really? Yeah. 30 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,162 Oh, do you want to go today? 31 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,164 And I am always busy. 32 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,500 Oh, I can't go today because I'm donating blood. 33 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,795 How often can you actually donate blood? 34 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,213 Is there a limit? I don't... 35 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,341 Your body only has a certain amount. 36 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,384 Well. Is that it? Or... 37 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,012 Yeah. Just this whole Toby camping thing. 38 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,307 I don't know, seems a little lame. I mean... how so? 39 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,435 A bunch of guys in a tent making s'mores. 40 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,024 What's that? Oh, I'm on broken mountain. 41 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,276 Here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. 42 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,072 I think you go camping by yourself in the wilderness. 43 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:40,202 It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy 44 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,680 or two guys, ifyour plans change. They're not going to change. 45 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,957 I want to do it myself. You know, I want to go 46 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,126 and find out something about myself. 47 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:54,800 I want to get out of here. All the cliques and the office politics, fluorescent lights. 48 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,426 And the asbestos. 49 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,790 I thought we had that looked at. 50 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,263 I'm sick of it, Jim. I'm sick of this place. 51 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:05,560 When jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called survivorman. 52 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:10,941 And it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out 53 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,028 into the middle of nowhere and just try not to die, 54 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,197 try not to get eaten by an animal, 55 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,283 or be overexposed. 56 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:24,705 Okay, I will only need two things, a roll of duct tape and a knife. 57 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,541 I'm on it. Okay. Thirty minutes or less. 58 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,126 Please come back. 59 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,546 Save the receipts. Hey, what... 60 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:36,508 Let's see if any of these will work. Hey. Hey. Dwight. Dwight... 61 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:40,095 I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. 62 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:44,224 I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk. 63 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:50,605 People say, "oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace." 64 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:55,694 Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, 65 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,238 than by a stranger on purpose. 66 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:04,870 Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. 67 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,623 I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow 68 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,792 and perhaps the next day. 69 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,476 Do you want me to ask where you're going? 70 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130 Great. Dwight will be driving me 71 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,299 deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness. Oh. 72 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,384 Where he will then leave me 73 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:23,972 to either die or to survive. The choice is yours. 74 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:28,059 No. The choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this? 75 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:32,856 Yes. And I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day, 76 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,776 and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me. 77 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:39,446 Okay. Great. This is a very personal, private experience 78 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:43,366 in the wild that I wish to share with me, myself and I. 79 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,330 When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being. 80 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,414 That'd be great. 81 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,334 Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills 82 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,086 to survive in a hostile environment? 83 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:59,633 Let's put it this way. No, I do not. 84 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,678 This is what a true survivorman does. 85 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,516 You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. 86 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,768 You can only wear the clothes that you have on, 87 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,479 and you can only use the stuff that you have in your pockets. 88 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:17,108 Now in this case, this disaster is a serial killer, 89 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:21,988 creepy guy who's abducted me, and is taking me out into the wilderness 90 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,300 to leave me for dead. No. I would never leave you for dead. 91 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,202 You would never escape. Well, yes, I would. And I would survive. 92 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,954 I would make sure that you were dead. No. 93 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,318 Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips 94 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,791 so you could notbeidenfified. You_. 95 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,268 And they would call me the overkill killer. 96 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:39,381 You are as creepy as a real serial killer, for real. Okay... 97 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,093 What are you doing? I am putting this on so I have no familiarity 98 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,845 with my surroundings. 99 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,514 Now this way I can't retrace my steps. 100 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:51,309 I don't know what streets we... ow! What are you doing? 101 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,233 It would be better if you were unconscious. No. 102 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,856 Here... god. Dwight, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 103 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,732 Do you want to do this right or not? 104 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:02,195 Just please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life. 105 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,534 Jim, we need to order a cake for creed's birthday. 106 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,097 Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday? 107 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,913 Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember? 108 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,541 I do remember, yeah. It's birthday month. 109 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:19,546 Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next, Meredith's is at the end of the month. 110 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,315 Michael usually goes with red and white streamers... 111 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:25,302 You know what? I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big, shared party? 112 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:26,928 What? 113 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:31,600 There are 13 people working in this office, so 13 times a year, 114 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,352 Michael gets a cake and balloons 115 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,189 and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. 116 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:42,152 And there are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are... 117 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,239 Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug. 118 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:51,870 And the other is something inappropriate or horrible or both. 119 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:55,707 What else? He only sings the high Harmony to happy birthday. 120 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,959 (All singing) 121 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,212 And he is a very big believer in surprise parties. 122 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,924 Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault. 123 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,383 Happy birthday! 124 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,010 Happy birthday! 125 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,637 (Laughing) 126 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,597 Happy birthday! 127 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:15,727 So I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive. 128 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,937 Yeah. 129 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,941 We can just have one big, fun party. And everybody's happy 130 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,192 and nobody wastes their time. 131 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,194 I don't like it. 132 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,743 Wow. You're shaking things up a bit, huh? 133 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,495 It's a pretty good idea, don't you think? 134 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,832 Do you think it's a good idea? No. I think it's a great idea. 135 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,251 Hmm. 136 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,797 We're here. 137 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:51,513 Dwight will take my blindfold off when we are deep in the forest. 138 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,473 Just the two of us from this point out. 139 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,017 Here we go. Just the two of us. 140 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,524 Dwight: Here we go into the wild, to the mighty forest. 141 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,736 Can you smell the trees and the nature? 142 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,656 Keep going. You're fine. 143 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,409 Just some bushes and some thickets. 144 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,162 Keep going. 145 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,208 You wanted wilderness. You got it. 146 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,186 You know, try sending them another invoice. 147 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,545 Okay. All right. 148 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,423 Oh, did you see my memo, by the way? 149 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,052 "Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are, 150 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,016 "we all can use a break from the constant cakes. 151 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,057 "So let's celebrate birthday month in style today." 152 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,352 This is really cool. 153 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,355 Right? I was just thinking... 154 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,441 No. Totally. Totally. 155 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,111 This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun. 156 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,114 Right. Exactly. 157 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,616 I knew I could count on you. 158 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,163 As good a spot as any. 159 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,336 What are you doing? Stop it. 160 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,297 Dwight, just stop it. I'm just... 161 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,717 Spin. I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction. 162 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,308 Behold. 163 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,976 All right, good. Thank you, Dwight. 164 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,978 Here's your knife. Thank you. 165 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,730 And here's your duct tape. Good. 166 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,982 All right. Very good. 167 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,693 Okay. Yeah. 168 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,571 Good luck, Michael. Thanks for the ride. 169 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,450 Okay. 170 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,495 Leave me be, Dwight. 171 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,708 Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake? What's that? 172 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,376 I really prefer devil's food cake. 173 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,586 Oh, sure. 174 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,837 Okay. Yes. 175 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,005 Awesome. 176 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,423 Wow. That was easy. 177 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,342 Yeah. People like me, I guess. 178 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,551 Jim. 179 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,387 I hate devil's food. Well, I think Meredith was... 180 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,098 Screw Meredith. I don't think it's fair 181 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,141 to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday. 182 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,435 Everybody's birthday. Today is actually my birthday 183 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,479 and I want to pick the cake. What do you want? 184 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,457 I want pie. I want peach pie. You want birthday pie? 185 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,524 I want a nice cobbler. 186 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,960 I'll talk to Angela and we're going to see what we can do about a pie. 187 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,754 I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen. 188 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,863 It'll be Angela. You tell her it's for creed. 189 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,365 She'll know what that means. 190 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:26,501 Day one. I'm in the interior of the vast Pennsylvania wilderness. 191 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:30,380 I have broughtwith me only the bare essentials, 192 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,716 a knife, a roll of duct tape 193 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:38,179 in case I need to fashion a shelter or make some sort of water vessel. 194 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:44,727 It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, 195 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:50,150 which would make it about 2:00 in the afternoon. 196 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,527 Really beating down on me now. 197 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:57,282 I think that I want to get a little more comfortable 198 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:02,412 because the sun is depleting my resources. 199 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,665 Okay. There we go. 200 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:10,211 Watch that I don't hit my carotid artery here. 201 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:14,841 I lied to Michael. I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not. 202 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,595 I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support. 203 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,430 But I will never help him. 204 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:25,476 I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. 205 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,229 But I will never let him lose his dignity. 206 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,065 There we go. Much better. 207 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:36,070 Now everything I broughtwith me can be used. 208 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,489 My sport coat here 209 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:43,203 can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts. 210 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:49,209 I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs. 211 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,839 See, this is a beautiful piece of material. 212 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:59,844 This can be used for all sorts of things, some sort of kerchief 213 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,390 to keep my neck nice and comfortable. 214 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,145 Andy. Jimbo. 215 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:13,274 Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgie the whale. 216 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,486 Not your birthday. Well, I'm just saying, you know, 217 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,613 if you want to make people happy, namely me, 218 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,448 you will have a fudgie the whale. 219 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,701 All right. I'll look into it, but the answer's no. 220 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,454 Well, okay. Harsh. 221 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,414 Just don't expect me to show up. 222 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:31,876 Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make. Loud and clear. 223 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,336 All right. 224 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,133 Pizza rolls. Okay, I'm going to go into this office here 225 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,802 to do some work so I will be in here. 226 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:41,970 Mushroom caps. 227 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:46,808 I am totally alone right now with only my thoughts. 228 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,477 I love it. I'm loving it. 229 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:55,483 I can literally say anything I want. No one is going to hear me. 230 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:59,779 Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat. 231 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,824 Jan has plastic boobs. 232 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:07,745 I have hemorrhoids. 233 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,542 Doesn't even matter. 234 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,545 Michael's a man of great depth and passion. 235 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,133 I don't know what he's searching for out here. 236 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,306 But I hope he finds it. 237 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,685 Lunch. 238 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,231 Well. It is a little chillier than I had thought. 239 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,942 So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants. 240 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:42,405 Several hours in, it's time for me to find some nourishment. 241 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,617 Now these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. 242 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,996 Things like squirrels, 243 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,249 a nice, juicy rabbit would be delicious. 244 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,128 About two more minutes. 245 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:04,844 I have made this spear with which I will impale my dinner. 246 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,699 And that couldn't come a moment too soon, 247 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:12,226 because I have been without food for a good 248 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,562 three hours or so. 249 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,024 Starting to feel it a little bit. 250 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,277 (Sighs) 251 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,781 It's creed's birthday today. 252 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,494 (Singing) Happy birthday to you 253 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:34,499 happy birthday to you 254 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:40,129 (singing high Harmony) Happy birthday, dear creed 255 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:47,470 happy birthday to you 256 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,390 happy birthday, buddy. 257 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:55,395 What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday. So what if there's a lot of them? 258 00:14:55,478 --> 00:15:01,317 Yeah. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. 259 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,112 Most days I just sit and wait for the break. 260 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:07,907 I took an extra shot of Insulin in preparation for this cake today. 261 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,493 If I don't have some cake soon, I might die. 262 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,762 Why don't you just have an apple? 263 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,204 Why don't you mind your business? 264 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,539 Listen, I figured this out. 265 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,501 Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago so he doesn't care. 266 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,464 I think the power went to his head. Creed: Yeah. 267 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,046 Hey, Jim. Hey, guys. 268 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:25,800 What are we talking about? Nothing. Nothing going on. 269 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,303 We're talking about nothing. Come on, gang. 270 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,770 Well, if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. 271 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:42,692 I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter. 272 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,279 And this little guy may be dunder Mifflin paper some day. 273 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,704 Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. 274 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,249 Safety is on. 275 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:01,961 (Knocking on door) 276 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,296 Hey, Jim. 277 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,300 Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays. 278 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,385 Great idea. 279 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,680 Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. 280 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,144 Is there anything I can... 281 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,979 My birthday was two months ago. 282 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,063 Oh, okay. 283 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,773 There was no party. 284 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:27,111 What? Well, there was but Michael scheduled it for 285 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,656 4:58 on a Friday. People sang in the parking lot. 286 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,741 I remember that. 287 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,218 I don't know, I just thought maybe you 288 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,745 comdinduderne. Senousw? 289 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,956 I just thought you could add me in. I don't know what the harm in that is. 290 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:43,544 Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. 291 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:48,633 "I don't see the harm in that." Well, it's a cake, Toby, so come on. 292 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,861 Okay, yeah, you know what, we're just going to throw you in 293 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,070 because the more, the merrier, right? 294 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,806 No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. 295 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:59,810 You can't just change plans Willy-nilly and expect these little magic party elves 296 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,063 to do your bidding. We already have devil's food, 297 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:05,274 peach cobbler, fudgie the whale, mushroom caps... 298 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,734 I'm allergic to mushrooms. 299 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,986 That's a bummer. Okay. 300 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,489 Then we need to... 301 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,510 Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing? Could I have your attention, please? 302 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,661 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing. 303 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,955 Conference room? Yes. Conference room. Five minutes. 304 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:23,125 No. No. We're going to solve it right here. 305 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,086 We're going to actually talk about it out here. 306 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,506 So who has problems with the birthday thing? 307 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:32,468 One, two, three, everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it. 308 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,012 What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie? 309 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,807 I'll take them. Well, nobody's touching my cobbler. 310 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,892 Hey, Michael. I mean Jim. 311 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,105 Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. 312 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:48,317 And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. 313 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:53,155 Under this tree, I think I struck the mother lode. 314 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:58,452 Those are nature's best mushrooms. 315 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:03,541 Wild, and I have to say, these little buggers are damn tasty as well. 316 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,043 Dwight: (Screaming) Stop. No. No, Michael. 317 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:09,672 No. No. No. 318 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,594 Get them out. 319 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:22,476 (All singing) Happy birthday to you 320 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,772 happy birthday to you 321 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:32,278 (singing high Harmony) Happy birthday, dear creed 322 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:37,825 happy birthday to you 323 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,286 yeah. All right. 324 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:44,123 Skip around the room. Skip around the room. We won't... 325 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,710 Okay, all right, yikes. Don't do that. You're going to break something. 326 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:53,424 Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth 327 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,926 and clothing and television, 328 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,138 and hamburgers, and to walk upright, 329 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,683 and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. 330 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,394 He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. 331 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:09,774 I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. 332 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,110 I don't need fresh air 333 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:16,572 because I have the freshest air around, ac. 334 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,493 And I don't need wide open spaces. 335 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,329 Check it out. 336 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,584 I can also make it the sky. 337 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,881 Hey. Hl buddy. 338 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,049 What's up? 339 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,718 I'm sure glad you're back. 340 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,345 You are relieved. 341 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,846 You have no idea. 342 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,683 So what did I miss? 343 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,102 Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. 344 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,895 So, terrible idea. Oh. 345 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:52,024 Yeah. Okay, I did that. Rookie mistake. 346 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,695 You did do it? Yeah. Just wait. 347 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,072 Ten years, you'll figure it out. 348 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,117 Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years, but... 349 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,744 That's what I said. 350 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,917 That's what she said. 351 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,714 That's what who said? 352 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,424 I never know. 353 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:21,345 But I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, 354 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,433 to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard. 355 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,393 That's what she said. 356 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,062 Hey. Nice. 357 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:32,440 Really good. 358 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,820 Bravo, my young ward.