1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,504 Hey, sport! 2 00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,464 I heard someone got engaged, you dog! 3 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:07,674 Yeah. 4 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,634 God! 5 00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:11,094 Nothing can hurt you now. 6 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,804 You're a man in love! 7 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,394 I was there, and that dude is not engaged. 8 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,396 I'm not a big believer in therapy, 9 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,898 but I would go into my own pocket to cover his copay. 10 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,151 Big idea, double wedding! 11 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:27,485 Me, Angela, you, Holly. 12 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,945 No. We would never do that. 13 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,714 And if we did, it would be with Jim and Pam. 14 00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:31,739 Yeah, we'd never do that. 15 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,824 Yeah, so there you go. 16 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,659 Michael, I got my bridesmaid's dress. 17 00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:35,869 Wow, so quickly. 18 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,054 Yeah, and you said I could get it 19 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,746 in any color I wanted, so I picked white. 20 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,332 Michael, did you tell your mom yet? 21 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,168 Nope. Nope, not yet. 22 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,562 Why not? You wouldn't tell your mom? 23 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,106 You love your mom. Michael: Yeah, I do. 24 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,172 Call your mom, Michael. 25 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,466 Yeah, I'll call her and tell her tomorrow. 26 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:53,678 All: Call her! Call her! I don't wanna do it in public. 27 00:00:53,761 --> 00:00:55,847 All right, I will call her. 28 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,599 She is going to freak out! 29 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,683 Speakerphone! 30 00:00:58,766 --> 00:00:59,809 Not... 31 00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,021 Thanks. 32 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,104 Michael's mom.“ Hello? 33 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,398 Mom, I'm getting married. 34 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,483 No, you're not. 35 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,318 Why do you always do that? 36 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:12,655 Whenever I'm getting married, you don't believe me. 37 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,450 Are you getting married? 38 00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:20,078 Are you... 39 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,081 I'm not. I'm not getting married. 40 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,214 Psych. 41 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,404 So I've returned my bridesmaid dress 42 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,658 and it was on sale, so I'm out a hundred dollars. 43 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,993 And I'm out a fiancee. 44 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,776 Are those the customer surveys? 45 00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:04,582 Yeah, this is all of them. Jim, Dwight, 46 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,419 Phyllis, Stanley, Andy and... 47 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881 It's the receipt to my bridesmaid dress. 48 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:12,966 What's that doing there? 49 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,386 I'll take care of that for you. Thanks. 50 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:22,433 Kelly kapoor is our dusky, exotic, customer service rep. 51 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,603 And once a year, she will contact our clients 52 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,856 and find out how happy they are with our sales people. 53 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:32,110 Sort of a "kapoor's list." Schindler's list parody. 54 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,364 That's not appropriate. No. 55 00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:39,033 Those reports affect our bonuses, 56 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,827 which is kind of great for me, 57 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,580 because you wouldn't know from looking at her, 58 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,956 but Pam's a gold digger. 59 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,959 Pam over earphone: Hey, New York ain't free. Get back to work. 60 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:52,297 It's the world's tiniest Bluetooth. 61 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,300 I found it in a Japanese gadget store in the village. 62 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,176 I got one for Jim, too. 63 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,303 Jim, say something. 64 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,013 Jim: Testing, testing, hello, everybody. 65 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,574 We wanted to stay on the phone all day, 66 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,684 but the company has a policy against eight-hour personal calls, 67 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,686 so we're not telling anyone. 68 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,813 Pam, what do you want on your coffee? 69 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:11,316 Sprinkle of cinnamon. Jim: Sprinkle of cinnamon. 70 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,525 I should go. 71 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,320 All righty, dwighty, let's see how you did. 72 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,030 Bring it on. 73 00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,281 Sorry. 74 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,116 Wow. 75 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,242 What does it say? 76 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,622 Dwight, your feedback is horrible. 77 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,582 That's impossible. A number of your clients 78 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,501 found your personal style abrasive and distasteful. 79 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,670 I sell more paper thananyone no, no, no, no. 80 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,422 Wait, is this a joke? 81 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,734 I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes. 82 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,092 Do I look like I am joking? 83 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,470 No, but that's sometimes part of it. 84 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,055 If I were joking, you'd be laughing. 85 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,806 Do you look like you are laughing? 86 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,142 Impossible to say, I can't see myself. 87 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:47,268 You're not. 88 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,104 Yo, Tommy tuna. 89 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,564 Did you get your scores yet? 90 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,817 I got mine, they were really good. 91 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,152 I miss him. 92 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,487 You must be really proud. 93 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,364 Yeah, I'm pretty psyched. Whoa! 94 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,948 That's my mug. 95 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,136 Sorry, I was just... It was right here. 96 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,203 Right. Well, 97 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:08,498 it's mine, so if you could pour it out and get another one. 98 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,917 Okay, or maybe I could finish the coffee that's in here, 99 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,960 and you could use... 100 00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,296 Snoopy! He's funny. 101 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,090 Don't give him snoopy. That's mine! 102 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:22,220 That is a great mug, but it's not my mug. 103 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,556 That is my mug, so give it back. 104 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,432 How can you even be sure? 105 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,644 That's my face on it. 106 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,354 Make the face. 107 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,146 I don't see it. 108 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,816 Dude, that is my face. 109 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,485 Pam: What was that? 110 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,529 Wow. That was Dwight. 111 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,061 He seems upset about something. 112 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,407 Describe him exactly. 113 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,076 What color mustard is his shirt, yellow or dijon? 114 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,912 It is spicy brown, actually. 115 00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:49,247 What are you mumbling about? 116 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,516 How was your meeting with Michael? 117 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,624 None of your business. 118 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:52,709 Was it your scores? 119 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,002 These can't be my scores, Jim. 120 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,548 For your information, I'm being sabotaged. 121 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,632 Of course. 122 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,759 And I'm gonna find that person and punish them. 123 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,843 Absolutely. 124 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,346 Or you could just be nice to your customers. 125 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:06,889 You're an idiot. 126 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,141 There's the charm. 127 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,351 Jimbo, let's do this thing. 128 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,853 That is me. Wish me luck. 129 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:13,938 No way. 130 00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:15,231 Pam: Good luck. Thanks. 131 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,733 I didn't say anything. I love you. 132 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,816 I love you, too. 133 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,319 What do you think I'm saying to you? 134 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,363 I'm not talking to you. 135 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,491 I caught Jim talking to himself several times today. 136 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,868 What a loser. 137 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,871 Get a friend, loser! 138 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:34,125 Yeah, I'm looking at it right now, it's really gorgeous. 139 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,585 You guys do great work. 140 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:39,088 I found the best "tentist" on the east coast. 141 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:43,384 He personally tented giuliani's first and third weddings. 142 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,888 And I got him. I got him. 143 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:51,476 Would you be able to do the same design, but with walls of gray? 144 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,562 And a top that's gray, too? Fabulous. 145 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:56,731 Come on. 146 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,107 Jim: What? You, too? 147 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,400 Did my scores drop a little? 148 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,444 Jim, they are poopy. 149 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,282 Jim? 150 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:08,701 Jim? 151 00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,871 Are we even sure that's my file? 152 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,834 Yes, I am sure, Jim, it... 153 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,061 Well, there's gotta be an explanation. 154 00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:19,128 I agree. 155 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,922 Yeah. So, let's see 156 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:23,466 what we can find out from reading. 157 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,386 Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant. 158 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,888 I think he means smug. 159 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,014 Arrogance. 160 00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:31,158 Michael, I'm just trying to... 161 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,851 And there is our smudgeness. 162 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,770 I need a decent bonus 163 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:39,023 because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house 164 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,400 so that they can retire. 165 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,862 And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong 166 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,281 buying a house you can't afford. 167 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:51,285 Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's a fun surprise. 168 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,666 Pam, sorry about that. Lost you for a second. 169 00:06:56,874 --> 00:07:00,169 So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot 170 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,963 on my customer reviews this year. 171 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,440 Maybe it's 'cause you spent the whole year 172 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,007 flirting with the receptionist. 173 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,134 Little bit. Worth it. 174 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,807 Here's what's going to happen, I am going to have to fix you. 175 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,936 Manage you two on a more personal scale, 176 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,939 a more micro form of management. 177 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,065 Jim, what is that called? 178 00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:23,025 Micro-gement. Boom. Yes. 179 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,152 Now, Jim is going to be the client. 180 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,405 Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him 181 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:30,992 without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. 182 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,325 Let's go. 183 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,648 All right, fine. 184 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,080 Ring, ring. 185 00:07:36,163 --> 00:07:37,206 Hello? 186 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,970 Hello, this is Dwight schrute from the dunder Mifflin paper company. 187 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,086 Well, that's great, 'cause I need paper. 188 00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:44,106 Excehent then you are in luck, because we are having 189 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,716 a limited-time offer only on everything. 190 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:47,839 Wow, this is my lucky day. 191 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,944 Ask him his name. 192 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,136 What is your name, sir? 193 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,013 I am bill buttlicker. 194 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,765 Really? That's your real name? 195 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,017 How dare you? 196 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,978 My family built this country, by the way. 197 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,938 Be respectful, Dwight. Please. Yes, Michael. 198 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,541 Could you hold on one second? That's my other line. 199 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,805 What? No, but I... I'm on hold. 200 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,110 Hello? Yeah. 201 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:10,615 No. I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. 202 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,634 Probablyjust going to keep him on the line forever 203 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,952 and not buy anything. 204 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,037 Okay. 205 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,622 It's up to you to change his mind. 206 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:20,124 Sorry, that was a family emergency. 207 00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:21,292 Oh, no, what's wrong? 208 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,085 You know what? That's private. 209 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,462 Boundaries, Dwight. Come on! 210 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:25,963 I'm sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. 211 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,131 As I was saying... 212 00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:29,174 Sorry, you just have to speak a little bit louder, 213 00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:30,861 I'm hard of hearing. He's hard of... he's an old man. 214 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,803 Okay, as I was saying, right now... 215 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:33,947 You're gonna have to talk louder. 216 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,640 Okay, our prices have never been lower... 217 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:36,867 Son, you have to talk louder. 218 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:37,891 Never been lower! 219 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:38,935 Louder, son! 220 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,562 Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower! 221 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,606 Stop it! Stop it! 222 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,651 That is totally inappropriate. 223 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,894 You never yell at the client. 224 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,630 You never yell at the client. Now you listen to me, sir. 225 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,655 Here we go. 226 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,740 The three words I would describe you as 227 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,826 is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult. 228 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,710 Please, Mr. Buttlicker... I'm irate right now. 229 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:58,746 Give me the phone. 230 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,029 Please give me another chance. 231 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,333 Mr. Buttlicker, I have to put you on with my boss. 232 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:03,834 Well, I should hope so. 233 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,878 Who is this? Hello, this is Michael Scott, 234 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,004 regional manager. 235 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,090 Well, this is William m. Buttlicker. 236 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,926 Hello, Mr. Buttlicker, how may we help you? 237 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,569 Michael, I like the sound of your voice. 238 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,655 You know what I'm going to do? 239 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,307 I'm going to buy $1,000,000 worth of paper products today. 240 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,309 See how it's done? 241 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,686 Thank you very much, sir. 242 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,609 I don't think you'll regret it. See what I did? 243 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,647 You are the master. 244 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,749 There is one condition, Michael. 245 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,525 Yes. You have to fire the salesman 246 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,710 that treated me so terribly. 247 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,945 Don't do it, Michael. 248 00:09:31,278 --> 00:09:33,406 It's a million-dollar sale. 249 00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:38,786 So it's called the shangri-la tent. It's two stories, heated, 250 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,957 and it has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. 251 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,044 It's just really simple, really tasteful. 252 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:49,922 I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo. 253 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,799 Hobos live in trains. 254 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,760 Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long. 255 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:58,431 Well, Nana Mimi... okay, look. 256 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,434 This tent is awesome, 257 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,310 and it's in high demand, 258 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,689 so I really think we should put a deposit down now. 259 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,944 Okay, fine. You can have your tent, but only if it's in a field. 260 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,529 A hand-plowed field. 261 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:14,822 Done and done-er. 262 00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:19,118 There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars 263 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,371 through the roof slats, when you lay on your back. 264 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,833 And antique tools to look at when you roll over. 265 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,419 Do you have a specific place in mind? 266 00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:32,465 But anything within a five-to-eight mile radius is acceptable. 267 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,883 On it. 268 00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:35,551 Dwight. 269 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,095 Dwight. 270 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,098 Get in. Are you serious? 271 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,391 Get in. 272 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:50,649 Okay, what are you... 273 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,422 They might be listening to us. 274 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,674 What's that? Who is "they"? They might be listening to us. 275 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,909 Customer service might be monitoring this conversation! 276 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:00,993 In this car? 277 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,597 You never know. Better safe than sorry. 278 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,414 What are you thinking here? 279 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,249 Who stands to benefit from our downfall? 280 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,584 The mob? 281 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:09,667 Maybe NASA. 282 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:10,878 Could be the mob. 283 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,689 But then dunder Mifflin would need to 284 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,993 be a front for money laundering, 285 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,400 and there's little evidence of that. 286 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,509 Is there some evidence? 287 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:17,968 Pam: Cute shoes online. 288 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,470 How many shoes do you need? 289 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:22,181 I don't know, two, maybe three, if one wears out. 290 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:23,325 How many shoes do you need? 291 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,600 I'm not talking to you. 292 00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,310 Who are you talking to? Pam. 293 00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:27,645 She's not here, Jim. 294 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:28,938 No, she's not. 295 00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:42,493 Yes! 296 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,788 I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed and breakfast 297 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:49,041 which is on a 60-acre beet farm, and even better, 298 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,001 I have an in with the owner. 299 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,962 Yeah, we work together. 300 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,464 It's Dwight schrute. 301 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,134 As in schrute farms. 302 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,237 Man: So I'd like to redouble my order. 303 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,846 If you could put me down for... 304 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,514 Wait, shut up! I'm sorry? 305 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,183 Do you hear that? 306 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,268 Hear what? 307 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,312 Breathing. Is that you? 308 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,414 Well, I am breathing, yeah. 309 00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:14,024 Well, stop. Hold your breath. 310 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,192 I still hear it. 311 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,318 Who's there? 312 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,779 Kelly, is that you? 313 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,700 Hold on. 314 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:23,951 I need paper. 315 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,246 Oh, my god, you scared me! 316 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,581 Hear anything interesting? 317 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,207 What are you talking about? 318 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,750 I think you know. 319 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,545 You always say that, and I almost never know. 320 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,213 What are you up to, girl? 321 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,482 Did Phyllis put you up to this? 322 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,716 Stanley? Are they paying you? 323 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,134 Are you accusing me of something? 324 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,862 Of course I am. I know you're the mastermind, 325 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,471 but you're too stupid to do it by yourself. 326 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,849 Easy. Let's just head back to the desk. 327 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,310 You just can't come into my nook and call me stupid. 328 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,593 And maybe if you were a little bit more nice and polite, 329 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,898 then people wouldn't give you such bad customer reviews. 330 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,443 The reason that I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't. 331 00:12:57,526 --> 00:13:01,113 There is a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved. 332 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,740 Dwight, get out of my nook. 333 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,134 That's what she said. That's what she said! 334 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,951 That's what she said! 335 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,494 Good one. 336 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,337 Hey. Sorry about Dwight, by the way. 337 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,546 Yeah, he's weird. 338 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,674 Well, we all handle it differently. 339 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,345 I personally choose to handle it like a normal person, but... 340 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,429 Okay. 341 00:13:25,512 --> 00:13:26,931 Hey, how are you and Darryl? 342 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,059 We're cool. Bye. 343 00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:34,355 That was weird. What was? 344 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,118 Have you ever had a conversation with Kelly 345 00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:39,652 where she didn't go on for 15 minutes without taking a breath? 346 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,695 No, actually. Did you do something to her? 347 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,364 I don't think so. 348 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,199 Well, something's off. 349 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,245 Hey, how's things? 350 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,412 Ahrqht yeah? 351 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,496 Living in the moment. 352 00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:53,040 Do you have any reason to believe 353 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,267 that Kelly would be mad at me? 354 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,627 I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. 355 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,170 Can I tell you something? 356 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,672 I played it full-on in New York. 357 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,216 I played it high stakes, for keeps. 358 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,511 Made it to the top, but look what it cost. 359 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,137 Can I tell you what else I learned? 360 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,681 Wait, that's pretty weird. 361 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:09,765 What? 362 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,684 Well, Andy has a mug just like that. 363 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,478 Yeah. Kelly gave them out as party favors. 364 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:16,230 Remember? You got one. No. 365 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,357 What party? Her america's got talent finale party 366 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,067 over the summer. 367 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,088 That's crazy. It was packed. I thought everyone was there. 368 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,506 You were there. I remember you being there. 369 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,906 I wasn't, but thank you. 370 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,592 Hey, do you know anything about this party? 371 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,159 Yes. I said you definitely should go, 372 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,828 but you wanted to visit me instead. 373 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,497 I can't be the only one who didn't... 374 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:52,391 Dwight, let me see your coffee cup. 375 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,352 Is that it? 376 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,645 Why? No. 377 00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,916 Okay, I'm going to assume that was it. 378 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,276 Here's the thing. I think you're right. 379 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,571 I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad at us for not coming to her party. 380 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,865 Man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators? 381 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,033 Probably just Kelly. 382 00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,118 Obviously. I knew it. 383 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,328 That's what I'm saying. 384 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,620 Yeah. What? 385 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:14,705 You were right. 386 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,914 I was right. 387 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,374 You were right. I was right. 388 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,500 You knew it. I knew it. 389 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,644 You knew it the whole time, buddy. 390 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,045 I knew it the whole time, buddy! 391 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,504 Wow! Dwight.“ Yeah! 392 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,048 Right Dwight is loud. 393 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,632 Yes! I knew it! 394 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:26,925 Yeah! 395 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,555 Boom! Kelly the whole time. Let's get her. 396 00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:33,033 No, no, no, no. Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. 397 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,141 Let's just talk about this. 398 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,267 Get out of the way. 399 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,727 What's going on? 400 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,103 Why don't you tell us? 401 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,438 Nothing's going on. 402 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:40,898 Let me paint you a picture 403 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,233 of a little girl from southern India, 404 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,402 who despite being welcomed into this country 405 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:49,365 will now spend the rest of her life in prison for a crime she did commit. 406 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,449 Dwight. 407 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,077 I was informed by these gentlemen 408 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,870 that the reports that you filed 409 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,164 may not entirely be accurate. 410 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,666 What? I don't know what you are talking about. 411 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,019 This is the first that I'm hearing about this. 412 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,086 Come on. 413 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,921 You juked the stats, cupcake. 414 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,106 We called about a dozen customers and 415 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,924 they all said that they gave us great marks. 416 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,634 Michael: What's going on? 417 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,514 I love your tie, Michael. 418 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,643 Kelly... I was raped. 419 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,396 You cannot say "I was raped" 420 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,523 and expect all your problems to go away, Kelly. 421 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,025 Not again. Don't keep doing that. 422 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,027 I'll give you onelastchance to come clean. 423 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,530 Just tell me what happened. 424 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,617 Okay, all right. Okay, I did it. All right? I lied. 425 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:34,827 Whatever, just fire me. 426 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,179 But you know what? I did it because 427 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,389 you guys didn't come to my party, 428 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,556 and you said you would try to, 429 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,860 and then you didn't even show up, 430 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,708 and so you're bad friends. 431 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,061 We have our confession. I'm calling security. 432 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,461 Don't, don't. Get away from that, 433 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,796 Dwight, please. 434 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,357 You know what? She's got a point about you, too. 435 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,758 You do have a problem dealing with people. 436 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,008 See? I wasn't lying. 437 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,428 You were lying. 438 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,720 I was lying. Yes. 439 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,472 Jim, Dwight, please excuse us. 440 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,866 But I want to be here when you fire her ass. 441 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,893 I will call you when it is time. 442 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:10,362 I have an enormous amount of trouble 443 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,241 trying to get people to come to my place. 444 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,410 And I hate it. 445 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:20,330 I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole 446 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:23,041 I have ended up eating over the years. 447 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:27,504 I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities. 448 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,089 Here's what we're going to do. 449 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,300 We are going to sit here for a while, 450 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,302 make it look good. 451 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,262 And maybe you should cry. 452 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:36,680 Can you make yourself cry? 453 00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:37,763 No problem. 454 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,933 I think you should do that. 455 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,576 Pam beesly? 456 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,828 Hey. What are you doing here? 457 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:00,954 Who's that? 458 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,331 It's Alex. 459 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,918 It's Pam. I came to kidnap you. 460 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,129 There's free wine and cheese at the Chuck close retrospective. Let's go. 461 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,673 That's going to be great. Who's Chuck close? 462 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,968 I love Chuck close and his photorealist paintings. 463 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,303 But I have to work. 464 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,116 Well, actually, there's something else 465 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,559 I'd love to talk to you about. 466 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,479 Can we go somewhere else to talk about it? 467 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,648 Okay. 468 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,334 That's it. I want to talk to this guy. 469 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,609 Put me in his ear. 470 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,653 What's up? 471 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,321 I want to take a big leap. 472 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,940 And I want to tell you that I think that you should not 473 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,076 move back to Scranton. 474 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,202 Wow. 475 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,079 I want to make a bigger leap here. 476 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,580 He is into you. 477 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,124 Why did you come to New York in the first place? 478 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,834 Because they have a great design program, 479 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,420 and I wanted to see if I was any good at it. 480 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,422 And I wanted to work on my art, too. 481 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,507 Right. 482 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,467 And that's why I think you should stay here. 483 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,053 Because, I mean, you really just got here, 484 00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:01,056 you know, and you can't do New York in three months. 485 00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:04,685 You know, it has everything. All the opportunity is here, 486 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,271 all the... the whole art scene is in New York. 487 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,207 You know, it would be nuts to go back to Scranton 488 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,692 without getting to fully experience it. 489 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,777 Jim's in Scranton. 490 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:14,903 I know, but... 491 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,991 All I'm saying is, if there's even a teeny, tiny part of you 492 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,243 that really wants to be an artist, 493 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,954 then I think you should stay here, because you don't want 494 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:26,248 to wake up in 50 years 495 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,251 and look back and wonder what could have been. 496 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,963 And that is the end of my speech. 497 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,424 I planned it all. Anyway... 498 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,049 I will see you tomorrow. 499 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,219 I'll see you tomorrow. 500 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,275 Is that the matsahashi b-400? 501 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,985 The world's tiniest Bluetooth. 502 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,864 May I? Don't. 503 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,161 Congratulations on choosing schrute farms for your wedding. 504 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,913 No, we haven't decided on anything yet. 505 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,541 We're still reviewing some options 506 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,227 and it's going to come down to the numbers. 507 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:14,880 Well, then, why don't you look over some of our materials, 508 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,593 while I describe to you the Excalibur package. 509 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,678 In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty 510 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,805 and smell of schrute farms, 511 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,099 I can promise you that our grounds can be catered 512 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,894 to fit your exact specifications. 513 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:32,856 I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months 514 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,525 and be at your constant disposal. 515 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:40,113 Please feel free to call or stop by any time of the day or night. 516 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:42,282 That's very generous. 517 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,659 Well, you, my good friend, 518 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:44,886 have nothing more to worry about. 519 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,245 This wedding is officially out of your hands. 520 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,539 Thank the good lord. Deal! 521 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:50,707 Okay. 522 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:52,894 What are we talking pricewise? 523 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,252 You already said, "deal." 524 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,879 Pay him whatever he wants. 525 00:20:55,962 --> 00:20:57,631 Can't argue with that. 526 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,467 Dwight, 527 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,264 you are going to make us so happy.