1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:03,378
Pam: Yeah, that's no problem.
Pam.

2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,006
Sure. Pam, knock knock.

3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,942
I'm on the phone.
I know you are. Knock knock.

4
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,927
You can fax it over.

5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:14,097
Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5... 4-9-1

6
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,849
0-1... 7-4...

7
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,601
7-5. Five-ling.

8
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,854
0-1-7-5. Thank you. Bye-bye.

9
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,083
That really makes us
look unprofessional.

10
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,502
They would never know
it was me doing it.

11
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,693
Here we go. Knock knock.

12
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,530
Who's there?

13
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,614
Buddha.

14
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,033
Buddha who? Buddha
this bread for me, won't you?

15
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,997
Great. I need something
to wipe my hand.

16
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,333
Now, there's butter on
my desk. That was melting.

17
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,377
It was a classic.
I got a knock knock joke.

18
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,460
No. God.

19
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,129
Michael, please, please, please.

20
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,881
Please let me. All right.

21
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,300
Knock knock. Who's there?

22
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,760
Kgb.

23
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,555
We will ask the questions.
What the hell was that?

24
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,241
Dwight: What are you doing?
Michael: What are you doing?

25
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:59,101
Hey, hey! Stop it! Stop it! Hey!
Come on! You like that? You like that?

26
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,954
What are you doing? Mine
was part of a hilarious joke!

27
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,688
Mine was retribution.
What are you doing?

28
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,273
No more knock knock jokes.

29
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,525
That's it. Ding dong.

30
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,277
Who's there? Kgb.

31
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,547
Dwight, get the door.
I'm not answering it.

32
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,631
Answer the door. Ding dong.

33
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,323
No way. It's the kgb.
Jim: Ding dong.

34
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,592
I'm not answering that.
Yes, you're going to.

35
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,843
You answer it!
I'm not going to answer it.

36
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,512
Jim: Ding dong. I'm not
going to answer it. It's the kgb.

37
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,371
The kgb will wait for no one!

38
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,334
It's true.

39
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,194
Good morning, Michael.

40
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,196
No, no, no.

41
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,909
I am not Michael.
I am Willy wonka!

42
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,208
Good morning, Mr. Wonka.
Here are your messages.

43
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,581
Why, thank you very much.

44
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,875
What are those?
What are those? Tell me, please.

45
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,627
Jehybeans no, no, no.

46
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,421
They are not just ordinary
jellybeans, little girl.

47
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:14,384
These are extraordinary
jehybeans.

48
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,721
The Willy wonka
golden-ticket promotional idea

49
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,891
is probably the best idea
I have ever had.

50
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,018
It's probably the best idea
anybody's ever had.

51
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,519
Michael: Three days ago,

52
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:28,690
I slipped five pieces of gold
paper into random paper shipments.

53
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:32,569
This entitles the customer
to 10% off of their total order.

54
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:38,200
It will be a day for them that is
full of whimsy and full of excitement.

55
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,744
And full of fantasy.

56
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,288
I've written these things

57
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:47,000
because it is my responsibility
as manager of this branch

58
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,711
to profiligate great ideas.

59
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,507
And I think I have done my part
with the golden-ticket promotion.

60
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,050
Now it is your turn.

61
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:59,471
I want to hear some great ideas
from you that are just as good as mine.

62
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,974
We own our own delivery trucks.

63
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,119
We could lease them out on
the weekends... too many words.

64
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:08,146
Good ideas are simple,
golden ticket.

65
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,440
Free paper. No, Jim.

66
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,236
We're a business. Post-its,
that is a golden-ticket idea.

67
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:18,573
NASA took five or six golden-ticket
ideas to get men on the moon.

68
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:23,036
Golden girls. That's
a golden-ticket idea. Right?

69
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,621
I mean, how great was that show?

70
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,708
Golden grahams.
Another. It's a...

71
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,460
I don't get this.

72
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,129
No, you don't. No. It...

73
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,551
What will be
the state of this company

74
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:41,555
if I am the only one coming up
with the great ideas, right?

75
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,849
I think I should call her.

76
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,686
No. No. No.

77
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,232
Why is it so bad for me to
call and ask her to lunch today?

78
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,777
You're making
it too easy for her.

79
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,698
You're just conveying, "I
like you just the way you are."

80
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,742
But I do like her
just the way she is.

81
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,827
Andy: Well, that's not
what we agreed on.

82
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,138
Jim: What are you doing?

83
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,955
Why don't you just
go on a date with her?

84
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,958
Try to spark up an ongoing
joke and then, in a month or two,

85
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,710
if it feels right, you'll
know. Andy: No.

86
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,420
You don't have
to wait that long.

87
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:17,215
I mean, you don't have to wait a
month to ask her out. Just ask her out.

88
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,593
You're asking him
to give up all of his power.

89
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,719
What power?

90
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:25,223
Andy, Pam and Jim
are all telling me

91
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,059
how to deal with this
girl that I like, Lynn.

92
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,522
I don't like getting advice from
more than one person at a time.

93
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,816
I'm a textbook over-thinker.

94
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:39,696
You can't let a girl feel good
about herself. It will backfire on you.

95
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,573
Every compliment
has to be backhanded.

96
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,868
"I like your dress, but I'd like
it more if you had prettier hair."

97
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,787
That's psychotic.

98
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,121
Do guys actually do that?

99
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,415
Guys with girlfriends don't.

100
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,666
That's low, tuna.

101
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,294
Hey, Tom. What's that?

102
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,837
Oh, you found a golden ticket.

103
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,481
One of my clients
found a golden ticket.

104
00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,674
Yeah.

105
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,053
No, congratulations about that.

106
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,491
Yeah, I'll take that
down right now. Tell me,

107
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,934
was it a spoiled little girl

108
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,286
with big lips? I'm on the phone.

109
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,271
Or an odd little boy
with a cowboy obsession?

110
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,832
Hold on one sec.
Invite them on the tour.

111
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,982
Hold on one sec.

112
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,069
It's actually blue cross
fiontpennszama. Really?

113
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,154
Yeah. That's
kind of a big client.

114
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,989
Hey, Oscar.

115
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,663
How much of a hit is 10%
of our blue cross account?

116
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,747
1096? Yeah.

117
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,165
They're our largest client.
Yeah.

118
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,125
That's going to hurt.
Jim: Hold on one sec.

119
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,002
Hold on one sec, Tom.
What's that?

120
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,380
You found five golden tickets?

121
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,883
And does it say
limit one per customer?

122
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,719
Nope. It doesn't.

123
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,908
How do you not spread out the
tickets into different shipments?

124
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,559
I thought I did,

125
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,954
so no harm, no foul. Okay,
well I'm going to go call corporate

126
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,355
to make sure that they know
I didn't lose half my sales.

127
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:59,192
You didn't. It'll be fine.

128
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,777
It'll be good.

129
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:07,075
Hey, hey, hey. You idiot.

130
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,368
Start over.

131
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:13,540
Sir, I placed a bunch of
golden tickets into five separate boxes

132
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,501
and somehow they all
ended up at blue cross.

133
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,752
How does this happen?

134
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,129
Were the boxes near each other?

135
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,213
Irrelevant.

136
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,466
I put three pallets on the truck
to blue cross once a week.

137
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,385
They use a lot of paper.

138
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,889
Okay, I'm going to ask you
something, and I want you to be honest.

139
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,640
What is a pallet?

140
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:35,061
My golden-ticket idea, okay.

141
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,732
Why would anyone think that
this is my golden-ticket idea?

142
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:43,778
There's a one in 13 chance that this
could be anybody's golden-ticket idea.

143
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,071
That...

144
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,617
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

145
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,827
Hi, David.

146
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:55,582
No, I'm sorry. He's not
back from the civil rights rally.

147
00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,128
I'll have him call you the minute he
gets back from the Lincoln memorial.

148
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:04,758
Pam: When Michael's skirting a phone call,
he gave me a list of places to say he is.

149
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,593
"Stopping a fight
in the parking lot.

150
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:10,180
"An Obama fashion show."
Whatever that is.

151
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,768
Or "trapped in an oil painting."
I'm going to save that one.

152
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:21,399
Michael: Nobody panic.
The good news is

153
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,693
they can't fire all of
us, right? They can.

154
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,195
No, they can't. Yes, they can.

155
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,031
Well, Oscar, you don't know
what the hell you're talking about.

156
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,283
Michael, what do you think
shutting down a branch is?

157
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,619
All right, then we're screwed.

158
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:39,709
I am just a net that traps all of
your crappy subconscious ideas

159
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,965
and adds a little bit of my own
childhood memories and whimsy so...

160
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,926
Okay, well, I lost
a ton of money today.

161
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,570
And I have a mortgage,
so I'm a little pissed, too.

162
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,929
Thank you. Jim is with me.

163
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,681
Absolutely not. I'm mad at you.

164
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:56,893
Well, you know what, Jim, it is not my fault
that you bought a house to impress Pam.

165
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,521
That is why carnations exist.
Creed: That's not why.

166
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:04,317
Okay, we need a gold-ticket idea
to get us out of this mess. Yes?

167
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,653
Does that mean an idea that
blows up in our faces later?

168
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,779
Jim: Good one.

169
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,532
Okay, don't get that. Please.

170
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,575
I've got a golden-ticket idea.

171
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,203
Why don't you skip on up
to the roof and jump off?

172
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,955
That is not constructive.

173
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,999
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

174
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,418
Oh, hi, David.

175
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,504
He's having a colonoscopy.

176
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,925
All right. I'll find out
if he's out yet.

177
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,053
Hello, David. I just got
back from my procedure, so...

178
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,264
Da vid: Michael, what the hell
is going on here?

179
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,432
How are you doing?

180
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,475
Fine. What is going on?
My colonoscopy

181
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,812
was an examination
of my large colon

182
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,690
and the distal part of my
small bowel with a camera.

183
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,235
Why did you okay
this golden-ticket idea?

184
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:50,196
We're going to lose a fortune,
Michael. How could you let this happen?

185
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:55,785
Well, there is an explanation that
involves me not letting it happen,

186
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,539
and I just don't...
I don't know.

187
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,891
How could you not know, Michael?

188
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:06,629
I think we might have hired
an outside marketing consultant.

189
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,884
You might have...
Okay, what firm?

190
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,303
You're breaking up. Michael.

191
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,807
Okay. I think it might have
been an inside consultant.

192
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,727
Was it the sales department?

193
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,562
Yes.

194
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,231
Was it Jim?

195
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,067
Okay. Was it Dwight?

196
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:31,946
Yes.

197
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,205
Come on in. Good to
see you. Have a seat.

198
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,252
I just wanted to congratulate you
on that great golden-ticket idea.

199
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,504
That was your idea.

200
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,923
Whoa, wow, who told you that?
You did.

201
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,006
Several times.

202
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,276
I don't think I ever did.
Over and over again.

203
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,236
That was your idea, Dwight.
You were dressed as Willy wonka.

204
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,346
I'm not taking credit for
that. So... wasn't my idea.

205
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,240
Would love to, but I can't.
Wait a second, wait a second.

206
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,642
Wait a second. I wrote
it down in my diary.

207
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,436
You don't keep a diary. Yes,
I do. You've just never seen it.

208
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:08,525
March 4th, "Dwight came up with the
best idea today about golden tickets."

209
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,859
Hold on.

210
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,203
March 4th,

211
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,681
"Michael Scott came up with
golden-ticket idea to give five customers

212
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,749
"10% off for one year."

213
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,917
Why do you have a diary?

214
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,293
To keep secrets
from my computer.

215
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,379
Okay, you know what,
you came up with this idea.

216
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,633
I remember you told me
thatyouloved the Willy wonka movie

217
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,301
when you were growing up.
Impossible.

218
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,596
Yes, you did. I wasn't
given candy as a child,

219
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,767
so a movie that fetishized it that
much would've made no sense to me.

220
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:47,230
Plus, we weren't allowed
to see movies, so do the math.

221
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,276
What are you writing?

222
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:55,655
"Had conversation with Michael about
taking credit for an idea that wasn't mine.

223
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,282
"Discussed movies."

224
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:01,536
Would you like to go to lunch
with me? Just the two of us?

225
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,206
With all my heart.

226
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,376
You guys are throwing
a lot at me.

227
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,564
Well, all I'm saying is it's the first
date, so just keep a respectful distance.

228
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,630
Right.

229
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,859
I don't think Jim means to say
that you shouldn't touch her.

230
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:15,884
No, that is what I mean.

231
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:19,053
Kevin, a playful
touch on the arm or on the back,

232
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,891
it can show your interest,
and it's really romantic.

233
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,726
Like that? No. Stop it.

234
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:32,233
Don't touch her, don't
talk to her, don't look at her.

235
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,461
He wants to be more than just
friends. Put your heart out there,

236
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,863
it's liable to just turn into
this blackened, carbon brick,

237
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,490
where it has barbeque sauce
of shame and rage.

238
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,410
And two hot people
with a perfect relationship

239
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,537
would not understand that.

240
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,041
We think a lot alike.

241
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,754
Sometimes you will think something,
and I will say what you're thinking.

242
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,048
Okay, what am I thinking
right now?

243
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,010
Nacho chips.

244
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,363
I was thinking about how the
skin is the largest organ of the body.

245
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,307
Okay. Let me just cut
to the chase, Dwight.

246
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,268
I want you to fall
on your sword for me.

247
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,811
Oh, not gonna happen.

248
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,813
I did fall on my sword once.

249
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,317
I was running with it in my
belt. Won't happen again.

250
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,321
Why do you even want to stay at
dunder Mifflin? I mean, what's the point?

251
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,575
You're cooped up in there all day.
You don't get to do your farming.

252
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,939
You're not dating
Angela anymore.

253
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:28,915
It doesn't matter if you get fired for
taking credit for the gold-ticket idea.

254
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,124
It doesn't matter.

255
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,627
Me, on the other hand, I
would be lost without this place.

256
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,420
You, way too manly.

257
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,838
What about shoe la la?

258
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,216
It's not ready yet.

259
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:43,179
I have an idea for a fancy men's
shoe store called shoe la la.

260
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,643
And it's just men's shoes for the
special occasions in a man's life.

261
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:54,274
Like the day that you get married,
or the day your wife has a baby,

262
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,567
or for just lounging
around the house.

263
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,947
May I have your attention,
please? I have an announcement.

264
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:07,787
Mr. Dwight schrute and I just
returned from a wonderful stroll together.

265
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:12,041
And although I probably will
never do it again, I had fun.

266
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,837
I really had fun with my best friend,
Dwight. These aren't announcements.

267
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,340
Yes, they are. You just don't
care about the information.

268
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,093
I love working here,
and I do not want to leave.

269
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,053
He doesn't love it that much.

270
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,097
Wouldn't be such a bad
thing for him to be fired.

271
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:30,059
Well... I mean, like
we were talking about,

272
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,979
that is why he has come
to the conclusion...

273
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,065
We discussed the fact
that I'm cooped up here

274
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,984
instead of experiencing
the whole wide world.

275
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,903
Right. You know,
plowing my own acres.

276
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:45,658
Going around shirtless all day.
You know, experiencing freedom.

277
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:49,454
That's it. That's it. You
can't put a price on freedom.

278
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,390
Try me. That's
why you've made the decision.

279
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,207
That's why you made...

280
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,418
I haven't made a decision
yet. You kind of have.

281
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,921
Yes, you have. No.

282
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,428
You cannot take
the fall for him.

283
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,905
He said he would
do the same for me.

284
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:11,142
He can do the same for you right
now by getting fired instead of you.

285
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,646
So what are you going to do?

286
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:21,736
I'm going to go back to work, after
I write you up for insubordination.

287
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,112
There he is.

288
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,659
Oh, my god. Dwight!
Dwight, get in.

289
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,830
What's it going to be?
What are you going to do?

290
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,875
What's it going to be? Are you
going to do this thing for me?

291
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,402
Michael: Dwight?

292
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,005
Hey, David, how are you?
Michael.

293
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,799
Hey. Good to see
you. Nice surprise.

294
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,883
Yeah.

295
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,303
Dwight and lwere just having a
very unfortunate conversation.

296
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,471
That's too bad.

297
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,057
Yes, it is. But it had
to be done, didn't it?

298
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:56,479
Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone
because, Dwight, I owe you an apology.

299
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,065
The head of blue cross
just called.

300
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,317
They were so excited
by the golden-ticket discount

301
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,405
that they have decided to make
dunder Mifflin their exclusive provider

302
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,407
of all office supplies.

303
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,578
Congratulations, Dwight.

304
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,165
David,

305
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,254
yeah. You're welcome.

306
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,595
I just want to say
that this golden-ticket idea

307
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,839
is one of the most brilliant signs of
initiative I've ever seen at this company.

308
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,644
And how about a big round of
applause for Mr. Dwight schrute?

309
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,898
All right, Dwight!

310
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,694
This is huge.
That's what she said.

311
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:50,032
Hey, Dwight, great idea.
Dwight, Dwight, great idea.

312
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,870
How'd you come up
with that idea?

313
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,581
Inspuafion. Really?

314
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,684
How were you inspired? Never
know when it's going to strike.

315
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,002
How did it pop into your
head, Dwight? Just boom.

316
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,688
Just give me the details
of how that happened.

317
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,548
You're talking to Dwight schrute,
the biggest wonka fan I know.

318
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,693
I mean, you've been talking
about that movie for years.

319
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:08,885
What?

320
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,529
Jim: You know what,
I even made fun of you

321
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,055
when you dressed up as
Willy wonka to pitch this idea,

322
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,474
and, for that, I apologize.

323
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,476
Apology rejected.

324
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,811
Thanks so much for helping
the company, Dwight.

325
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,188
Oh, Pam.

326
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,314
Good work, kid.

327
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,648
Dwight: Thanks, old man.

328
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:23,834
David: This is... this is great.

329
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,018
Okay, look, I want to get you on the
horn with the marketing people in New York.

330
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,589
David: They should meet you.
Dwight: Great idea. Yeah.

331
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,574
Pam, could you set up a call in
there in about 15 minutes, please?

332
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,451
Sure. David. David.

333
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,179
David. David. David:
'Cause I've got this idea for a...

334
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,038
Yeah? Could I be part
of the meeting also?

335
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,390
You probably have
too much to do around here.

336
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,875
I don't want to take up your
time with another meeting.

337
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,562
Yeah, let's face it, this meeting
sounds like it's wonka fans only.

338
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,670
He's never seen the movie.

339
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,506
All right.

340
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,350
Hey, guys, I have with me Dwight
schrute. Dwight, take it away.

341
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:01,812
Okay, guys, listen up. Here's the
deal. I love candy, sweet, sugary candy,

342
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,296
from the second
it touches my tongue

343
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,525
to the moment it's metabolized
by my stomach acid,

344
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,694
so naturally
I liked Willy wonka.

345
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,863
Man: Wait, do you
guys hear that?

346
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,200
There's not a dog listening
in, is there? I hear panting.

347
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,160
No. No dogs.

348
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,455
Dwight: So I love Willy wonka.

349
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,459
The golden-ticket scene
is so inspiring to me

350
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,503
that that's where
I came up with that idea.

351
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,713
There is no movie
called Willy wonka!

352
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,608
It's called Willy wonka
& the chocolate factory.

353
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,110
It's actually based on a book called
Charlie and the chocolate factory.

354
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,387
I can't vouch for that. Pam.

355
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,598
But I do know this. He is a
liar. He has taken my idea.

356
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,892
That is my idea. We are
going to call you back, guys.

357
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:43,271
What is going on here? Okay,
here's what happened, David.

358
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,772
It was all my idea.

359
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:47,858
You called me, and you
were really angry at me,

360
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,278
and I got scared, so I
had Dwight take the fall.

361
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,738
But now it turns out
that it's a great idea,

362
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,408
and Dwight will not confess.
Can you believe that?

363
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,742
No. No. It is my idea.

364
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,245
How dare you, Dwight?
It is my idea.

365
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,728
I'm filled with good ideas.
Are you?

366
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,248
Thousands of good ideas.
You are?

367
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,583
Yeah. Goodideas?

368
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,376
Hey, did you come up
with toilet buddy?

369
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,170
It's a net, a circular net
you put inside the toilet

370
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:12,216
to catch all of your change and
your wallet from falling into the toilet,

371
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,385
formerly known as
toilet guard. Horse boat.

372
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,221
Oh, please. A canoe
built around your horse

373
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:20,391
so you can go from riding to
water travel without slowing down.

374
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:21,976
Horse boat tohetsponge.

375
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,936
It's a hollowed out sponge...
Give me a break.

376
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,898
That is more absorbent
and softer than toilet paper.

377
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,276
I have a lot of toilet ideas.
That's 'cause they're easy.

378
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,069
They're not easy. Guys. Guys.

379
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,904
Michael: Everybody...
Women's urinal.

380
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:39,410
Everybody has to go to the
bathroom! Enough. Please, enough.

381
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:43,956
Well, is this true, Dwight?
I mean, is this true?

382
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:49,629
Yes, it's Michael's idea that he
forced on me on threat of death.

383
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,047
Thank you.

384
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,775
I don't know what... what do
you want me to do now, Michael?

385
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,135
What am I supposed to do now?

386
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,970
Well, David,
I will be honest with you.

387
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,057
I do want the credit
without any of the blame.

388
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,686
Okay. I am going
back to New York.

389
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:11,067
Pam, do me a favor,
don't send me those notes.

390
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,234
Okay.

391
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,071
I am gone.

392
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,828
When they look back on this
day in the history books,

393
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,374
all that will be remembered
is that I had a good idea.

394
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,251
And that's what I'm going
to write down in my diary.

395
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,229
And that is what I want
you to write down in yours.

396
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,298
Oh, I am. In my own words.

397
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,384
I want to see it.

398
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,569
I want to see that. No, Michael.

399
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,679
Give me the diary. No. No!

400
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,353
Lynn: Hi Lynn,

401
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,648
I'm just going to say to you
everything that I'm thinking.

402
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:54,276
Okay. I think you
have the best smile.

403
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,906
I'd like to take you out
to dinner and a movie.

404
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,950
Okay.

405
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:02,827
Nice...

406
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:05,746
Boobs.

407
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,674
Well, it's his funeral, so...

408
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:21,762
Ding dong.

409
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,972
Who is it?

410
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,890
Kgb. All right.

411
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,143
I just got out of the
shower. I'll be one second.

412
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,645
When you are done,
open the door.

413
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,900
Hello in there?

414
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,795
Yeah, I'm late for work
so I have to brush my teeth.

415
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,028
It's a whole routine.

416
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,156
We have other houses to visit.

417
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,576
Jim: If you want to come
back, then that would be fine.

418
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,661
We'll come back at...

419
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,705
How's 4:45?

420
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,623
I get home
from work around 6:00.

421
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,669
How about 5:15?

422
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:57,089
You can try. That might work.

423
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,300
Very well, we will
come back at 5:15.

424
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,718
All right.