1 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,003 (Phone ringing) 2 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,260 You gonna answer that, kev? 3 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,637 On, right. Thanks. 4 00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:17,642 Dunder Mifflin. This is Kevin. 5 00:00:17,725 --> 00:00:19,811 Please hold while I transfer you. 6 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,313 Oscar! Your mom! 7 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:27,402 Jim: Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. 8 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,904 How do I say this diplomatically? 9 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:33,491 I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected 10 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,911 someone like him to perform in a position like that. 11 00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,123 Please hold. 12 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,791 Andy! Phone call! 13 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,418 No, stay there. 14 00:00:43,751 --> 00:00:46,629 Kev, I thought we nailed the whole transfer thing earlier. 15 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,466 Yeah, I wrote it on my hand, but then iwashed it. 16 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,510 It is "transfer, extension," and then "transfer" again. 17 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,429 Okay. Andy, get ready. 18 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,739 Kevin: Transfer... Jim: Here we go. 19 00:00:55,763 --> 00:00:57,390 Extension, transfer. 20 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,226 Kevin: Oh, man! 21 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,936 Andy: It is 134! 22 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:03,101 Dwight: Kev! Kev, come on! 23 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,147 Hustle! Hold on! 24 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,899 You are murdering the nard-dog! 25 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:09,319 This is Kevin. Please hold, and I will transfer you. 26 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,487 (Phone ringing) 27 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,863 Phyllis: You're bad at this, too! 28 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,072 Don't answer that call! 29 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,200 Just transfer the damn call. 30 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,702 Your call is very important to us. 31 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,871 (Phone ringing) 32 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,248 (All cheering) 33 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,459 Okay, way to go. 34 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:26,836 My maid died. 35 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:54,489 Pam: Today is my first day at my new job at Michael Scott paper company, inc. 36 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,159 You know, apple computer started in a garage. 37 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,911 And we're starting in a condo. 38 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,955 So we already have a leg up on apple. 39 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,832 Look, it's official. 40 00:02:07,835 --> 00:02:09,671 Oh, good, my hooker's here. 41 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,048 (Chuckung) I'm kidding! Hi! 42 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,526 Michael, you were expecting me, right? 43 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,468 Yes, I was. Yes, I was. 44 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,403 Are you wearing anything under the robe? 45 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,139 That is inappropriate, Pam. Come on in. 46 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,061 This looks great, Michael. 47 00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,521 Thank you. 48 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,773 Would you like some French toast? 49 00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:29,983 Yes, please. 50 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,442 What shape? 51 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:34,279 Square is fine. All right. 52 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,823 I just wanted to fill you in on a few details. 53 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,033 As you know, I will be running the branch 54 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,719 while we search for Michael's replacement, 55 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,662 so please feel free to come to me 56 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,122 with any questions or concerns. 57 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:45,205 Yeah. 58 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,458 Where will you be staying while you're in Scranton? 59 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,544 Staying? In a hotel. 60 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,504 Charles, where were you born? 61 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,466 Actually, I meant questions more about the day-to-day operations of the company. 62 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,968 Okay? Yeah. 63 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,681 How are operations of the company, just day-to-day? 64 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,558 (Sighs) 65 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,145 Okay, let's go over non-discretionary cuts, okay, guys? 66 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,945 Thank you. So... 67 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,114 Can you please stop that? What? 68 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,491 You're breathing very heavily. 69 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,327 This is how I breathe. No, it's not... 70 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,788 Okay, Jim Halpert, I need your eyes up front. 71 00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:29,876 Oh, no, I was just... no, hey, hey, I just want to hear "yes." 72 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,130 Yes. 73 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,923 Good. 74 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,550 As I was saying... 75 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:41,804 Oh, no! The new boss does not find Jim adorable! 76 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,018 Pam: So, what do you say we get started? 77 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,187 After breakfast. I'm full. 78 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,314 So, how are you feeling about the new company? 79 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,024 I feel good. Wow. 80 00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,526 Are you excited about the new company? 81 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,862 Yeah, I'm excited to start the company. 82 00:03:57,945 --> 00:03:59,572 After breakfast. 83 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:03,076 We did that, so what's next? 84 00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,997 Michael, just stop for a second. Michael, stop for a second. 85 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,600 No, I'm whipping up... No, I know you are. 86 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,726 Just let me have... Let go, please. 87 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,418 Just give me... fine! 88 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,713 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 89 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,300 I can't do this. 90 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,595 This is pathetic, isn't it? 91 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,763 (Sighs) 92 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,598 I am such an idiot. 93 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,810 I gave up the onlyjob I ever loved to do this? 94 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,149 I have egg in my crocs. 95 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,987 I never see him drink. I never see him eat. 96 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,615 I don't think he even uses the bathroom. 97 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,118 Oh, he does. He does. 98 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,036 I feel weak today. 99 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,831 I felt much stronger yesterday. 100 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,375 Like Benjamin button in reverse. 101 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,502 You know, Michael, when I feel overwhelmed... 102 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,129 I'm not overwhelmed, Pam. 103 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:59,757 I know. No, I'm saying that when I feel overwhelmed, 104 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,844 something I like to do is make a list. 105 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,389 (Exhales) Make a list of things to do, 106 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,974 and then start with the easy stuff. 107 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,100 Whatever calms you down. 108 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,103 Okay, first, work out. 109 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,064 And hey, look, you did that. 110 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,108 Check. 111 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,819 Eat an enormous breakfast. 112 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,822 Check. Don't patronize me, Pam. 113 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:23,966 I think you should get dressed. 114 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,199 I'm not getting dressed. 115 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,786 I'm not getting dressed. I have too many things to do before I get dressed. 116 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,329 I need to find 100 clients. 117 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,789 Michael, that seems impossible. 118 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:32,915 It's totally impossible. 119 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:38,087 We need to come up with one realistic thing that we could do today. 120 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,882 Assemble a sales team. A dream team. 121 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,049 Great. 122 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,342 Okay, Ryan. 123 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,553 No. What? Why? 124 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,055 He's everything I'm not, and everything I am. 125 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,348 He's the whole package. 126 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,725 No, we're not gonna hire Ryan. 127 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:54,312 Um... oh, vikram! Best salesman I've ever met. 128 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,690 Okay. He worked at that telemarketing place. 129 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,108 Okay. We'll find him. 130 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:03,070 Oh, also, we have a meeting this afternoon with a potential investor. 131 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,197 Yeah. Really? 132 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,698 Maybe. We have an investor already? 133 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,742 Barbara keavis. She invests in local businesses 134 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,703 and I'm putting together a little presentation for her. 135 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,038 Michael, that's fantastic. 136 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,873 Yeah, I guess it's not so bad. 137 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,666 Got a few things cooking. 138 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,420 Hey! We need to get you dressed. 139 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:21,297 I have doubts about this, too, 140 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,924 but when one person freaks out, 141 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:26,260 sometimes it weirdly makes the other one calmer. 142 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:29,388 That's one thing I've learned about relationships. 143 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,600 I hate that I just used the word "relationship." 144 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,102 Hey! You look great! 145 00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,898 Let's go. All right. 146 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,861 (Chuckung) 147 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,112 You a soccer fan? 148 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,615 Oh, yeah, I'm so embarrassed. 149 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,302 You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession. 150 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,620 Yeah, well, that makes two of us. 151 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,704 Yeah. No way! 152 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,289 I hate soccer. 153 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875 But guess who doesn't hate soccer. 154 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,126 Charles miner. 155 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,463 I was actually in Germany for the 2006 world cup finals. 156 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,756 (Gasps) 157 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,717 You bastard! That should have been me! 158 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,554 Yeah, I love the sport. I love the sport. All right, man. 159 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,721 Cool! 160 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,643 I've never been a kiss-up. 161 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,729 I... it's just not how I operate. 162 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,162 I mean, I've always subscribed to the idea 163 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,317 that if you really want to impress your boss, 164 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,071 you go in there, and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly. 165 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,700 Next on the list, open the mail. 166 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,995 Oh, wow, "Michael Scott paper company." 167 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,205 (Laughs) Okay. 168 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,040 Very official. 169 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:44,046 "Dear Mr. Scott, please be advised that it is in violation 170 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,257 "of your condominium agreement to conduct 171 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,926 "a business headquartered in your residence. 172 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,690 "The penalty, a forfeiture of residence..." 173 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,597 No, okay, it's fine, it's fine. 174 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,807 We're just gonna add, "find office." 175 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,392 How are we gonna find an office? 176 00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:57,578 How can we pay for an office? 177 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,896 Next on the list, "song parodies." 178 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,148 Okay, okay, achy breaky fart. 179 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,333 Great, let's sing it in the car. 180 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,942 No, no, no, no, my stumps. 181 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,903 Like my humps, but with a guy with no legs. 182 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,863 Yeah. We can do this. 183 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,031 We can do this. 184 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:16,579 Whoa, and he just goes, boom, goal! Yeah, that's... that's pele. 185 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,080 You know your soccer, man. I do. 186 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,792 I prefer maradona. Diego maradona. 187 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,294 Oh, yeah? From Argentina. 188 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:26,380 I didn't know we had so many soccer fans in the office. 189 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,984 I mean, to be fair, I was the first one to talk about it, but... 190 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,111 Charles: Yeah, what about you, Jim? You a fan of the game? 191 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,970 Oh, no. No, not really. 192 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,306 Well, it's not for everybody, I suppose. 193 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,599 (Both laughing) 194 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,809 That's 'cause I'm more of a player. 195 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:39,936 Oh, yeah? You bet. 196 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,437 Really, Jim? 197 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,274 I had no idea you played soccer. 198 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,569 'Cause you never, ever talk about it. 199 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,547 Well, I do. I play. Dwight: Wow! 200 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:51,906 You can be so modest sometimes. 201 00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,133 Maybe we should get back to work. 202 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,826 Maybe you and Charles should kick the soccer ball around. 203 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,911 Maybe we will someday. 204 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,847 Maybe you will tonight after work. What do you say? 205 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,331 It's a great idea, Dwight. 206 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,334 Great ideas are just part of what I bring to the table. 207 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,460 (Chuckles) 208 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,063 I don't try and be anything that I'm not. 209 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,422 What do you say, Jim? Huh, want to play some soccer? 210 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:09,548 Hey, anybody else? 211 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,692 Andy: I'm into that. Sounds fun. 212 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,468 Game on! Okay. 213 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,845 See you on the field, Jim-bro. See... 214 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,514 Charles: (Laughs) I can't wait! 215 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,600 Yep, I used to play soccer in school. 216 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,061 From second to fourth grade. 217 00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:23,980 I was on the orange team. 218 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,278 We got vikram! You got me. 219 00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:34,073 Where are we going? 220 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,592 We have a meeting with an investor today. 221 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,619 Yes, we do, so get excited. 222 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,290 But I have to go to the bathroom real quick. 223 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,544 If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back. 224 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,715 Vikram: He seems really confident. He can be. 225 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,299 Confidence_. 226 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,303 It's the food of the wise man, but the liquor of the fool. 227 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,638 Hmm. 228 00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:01,392 I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, vikram. 229 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:05,354 Hey, I would like a pair of size 9, please. 230 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,775 It's Michael. I'm swamped, Michael. 231 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,194 Happy birthday to Sally in Lane 27. 232 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:16,741 Okay, imagine a company that has no memory of your past misconduct, 233 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,909 because they have no files. 234 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,789 Vikram: He's taking a long time. 235 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,583 Is it possible he's bowling? 236 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,294 I mean, you know him better than I do. 237 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,922 Yes. Yes, it's possible. 238 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,095 Well, he's always been a lifelong friend... Pam: Michael! 239 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,263 What's going on? 240 00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:41,557 Hey, Ryan. 241 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,933 Excuse me. Yes? 242 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,185 This wasn't on the list. 243 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:46,020 Yes, it is. No. 244 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,229 Yes. It's not. 245 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,522 It is. 246 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,833 When did you add this to the list? 247 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:53,360 Pam, everyone deserves a second, second chance. 248 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,199 Ryan, just out of curiosity, how much do you get paid here? 249 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,867 $60,000 a year. 250 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,244 You get paid by the year at the bowling alley? 251 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,454 What do you make, secretary? 252 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:05,539 Back to work, shoe bitch! 253 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,184 I told you guys, I'm really busy here, so... 254 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:11,378 Would you like to come to work for the Michael Scott paper company? 255 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,691 What size shoes are you guys? Uh, nine. 256 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,840 What are those? A men's 10? 257 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,444 Michael: Look what he's doing. Pam: What is he doing? 258 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,512 He's stealing them. Okay, okay. Oh, my god. 259 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,348 He's already paying for himself. Sorry! 260 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,309 Where is it? Right here. 261 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:29,105 Hey, come on, guys. These are prime selling hours, you know. 262 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,171 Miner... Jim: Oh, there he goes. 263 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,822 Sees his partner. Yikes. 264 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,240 Hamefl, helooksup. Oh, mam 265 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,575 the famed duo! He sets him up! 266 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,244 He sets him up! All right. 267 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,453 Yeah! 268 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,996 (Both exclaiming) 269 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,289 Goal! 270 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,517 I can't wait to play with you. 271 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,501 Oh, it's gonna be the worst. 272 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,107 Do you guys wanna hear about Thailand? 273 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,755 Sure. Oh, yeah. 274 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,884 It was indescribable. 275 00:11:59,426 --> 00:12:00,594 Neat. Sounds awesome. 276 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,305 What sort of investing firm is this? 277 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,683 Vikram, you ask a lot of questions, and I like that. 278 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,102 Hey, Nana! Hh 279 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,520 (mouthing) Nana: Michael! 280 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,522 People turn to their families all the time 281 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,065 when they need help starting out. 282 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,359 And if my Nana's investment club can help 283 00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:16,628 the Michael Scott paper company 284 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:20,781 become a reality, then I'm sure that's what she would have wanted. 285 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,283 Does want. 286 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,452 Well, I'm sure that you must all have very, very busy schedules, 287 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:29,165 so I appreciate you meeting with us here today. 288 00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:33,919 What this is, is a business that I have worked toward my entire life. 289 00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,923 I have assembled what I believe to be 290 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,969 the most exciting, sought-after talent in the industry today. 291 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,097 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dream team. 292 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:49,310 From our very own Scranton, Pennsylvania, Pam beesly. 293 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,938 Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars 294 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,483 and someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one. 295 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,819 Meet vikram. 296 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:03,282 From his humble beginnings as a... stay standing. 297 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:07,077 From his humble beginnings as a prominent surgeon, 298 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:11,207 he risked it all to become the most successful telemarketer 299 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,708 in the lipophedrine industry. 300 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:16,003 And do not call it a comeback. 301 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:20,633 The youngest vice president in the history of dunder Mifflin, 302 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,261 and recent bowling alley employee, Ryan Howard, 303 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,681 is about to make a splash in paper. 304 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,807 So let's hear it. 305 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:32,353 Okay, I have spent the last 15 years 306 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,189 learning the ins and outs of the paper industry. 307 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,776 With a lean, mean fighting crew and low overhead, 308 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:41,153 I think I can perform the same business 309 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,489 at a much, much higher rate of profit. 310 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,867 How do you expect to turn a profit in this economy? 311 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,745 By wanting it more, by working hard... 312 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,455 What's your mission statement? 313 00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:56,210 My mission is stated as follows. 314 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,462 I will not be beat. 315 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,506 I will never give up. 316 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,383 I am on a mission. 317 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,593 That is the Michael Scott guarantee. 318 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,929 Come on, Oscar. What positions do people play? 319 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,555 Wing. Theleg. 320 00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:11,475 Jim, what do you play? Left. 321 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,811 Forward or half? Forward, definitely. 322 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,020 Okay, striker, huh? Striker! 323 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,374 Let's see what you got in those legs. All right, let's do it. 324 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,774 All right. 325 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,150 (Blowing whistle) 326 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,462 No, no, no. This... no, this is supposed to be the kickoff. 327 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,737 Kickoff. 328 00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,991 My strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible. 329 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,076 Chalk it up to teamwork. 330 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,828 All right! 331 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:34,581 And I offer same-day free delivery. 332 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,583 Michael, I don't know about this. 333 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:40,421 Nana, I really think that papa would want you to do this. 334 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,674 I'm not so sure. Well, what is it exactly? 335 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:47,052 I mean, what... what specifically? It doesn't have to be paper. 336 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,972 We could sell medicine and other... 337 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,308 See, this is what concerns me. 338 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:56,020 We could just give him a chance. It's not much money. 339 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,980 Well, this might not be the right time, 340 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,940 but I need more than I originally asked for. 341 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,360 This isn't a hand-out club, it's an investment club. 342 00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:04,903 Okay. 343 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,614 Okay. I love you, Michael. I do. 344 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,659 But no. I mean it. No. 345 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,126 I thought Nana raised some good questions. 346 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,338 What kind of a name is Nana? 347 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,298 It means "grandmother." 348 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,508 Oh, sweet Jesus. 349 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,803 Look, I'm sorry to do this, 350 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,306 but can you drop me back at the telemarketing building? 351 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,350 You know, Michael, if you want to succeed, 352 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,935 you've got to apply the same... 353 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,026 Go, go! Dwight: Get him, Jim! 354 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,111 Come on, talk to me, Jim! 355 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,697 Ah! Charles: Oh, my god! 356 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,949 Jim, what the... 357 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,743 Phyllis, are you okay? Are you okay? 358 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,828 No, I swallowed a crown. 359 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,414 Why'd you duck, Jim? Dwight: Yeah, Jim. 360 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,750 Why would an experienced soccer player, like yourself, 361 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,168 duck at the very last moment? 362 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:02,395 Okay, I'm just gonna go get some ice. 363 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:05,005 Does that make you feel better, huh? 364 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,757 I'm... I'm sorry, Phyllis. 365 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,080 Charles: Oh, yeah, Jim's sorry. 366 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,929 Do you get tnt? The station. Do you get tnt? 367 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:15,182 Yeah, I have cable and satellite as a backup. 368 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:23,941 Yeah, I know, two not-so-great things in a row. 369 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,529 Yeah, well, stuff happens, right? At least we got Ryan. 370 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,572 The ry-guy. 371 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,741 We should call him rye bread. 372 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,010 We don't have to call him that. 373 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,036 Unless you like it. We could call him that. 374 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,746 I can't do this. 375 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,206 What's that? 376 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,459 I can't do this. I had a real job. 377 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,879 I sat 10 feet away from my fiance. 378 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,924 I had health benefits. 379 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,717 I was just feeling impulsive. 380 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,887 I should have gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle. 381 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,975 I just keep getting bored, and I let things build up and build up, 382 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:02,020 and then I do something too big, like this. Who does this? 383 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,273 Well, you know what? My mom always used to say 384 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:08,193 that average people are the most special people in the world. 385 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,671 And that's why god made so many... 386 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,155 We don't have any money. 387 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,049 We don't have an office. We don't have anything. 388 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,450 Well, we should make a list. 389 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,703 Lists are good, lists are good, lists are good. 390 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:22,332 First on the list, let's get you out of the car, all right? 391 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,459 Okay. 392 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,127 How come, out of everyone in the office, 393 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,754 I'm the only one who went with you? 394 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,173 Is it because I'm that stupid? 395 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,801 I mean, your own grandmother doesn't even believe in you. 396 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,766 I want you to listen to me. 397 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:45,314 Because I want to tell you the situation 398 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,691 that we are both in right now, okay? 399 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,446 You quit your job, I quit my job. We both quit. 400 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,699 Those are the facts. That's what happened. 401 00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:57,910 Now, what are our choices right now? 402 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,204 Because, you know what, kiddo? You quit. 403 00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:02,831 Yeah. 404 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,292 So, what are our options? Well... 405 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,046 We can start this paper company. We can try. 406 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:13,592 Or... that's it, that's our only option, because we quit. 407 00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:19,556 Pam, I do my best work when people don't believe in me. 408 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,351 I remember in high school, 409 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,811 my math teacher told me I was going to flunk out. 410 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,522 And know what I did? 411 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,441 The very next day, iwent out and I scored more goals 412 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,528 than anyone in the history of the hockey team. 413 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:36,031 See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it. 414 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,033 So I'm going to go inside, 415 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,077 I'm going to make some calls, 416 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,560 I'm going to get us an office space, 417 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:45,624 and I'm going to show you why you joined this company, all right? 418 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,921 (Sniffling) 419 00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:53,048 (Sighs) 420 00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,887 You've gotta have some extra space. Billy, work with me here. 421 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:04,101 There's got to be some sort of secret office that you have lurking around. 422 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,647 Something awesome and free. You keep it off the books. 423 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,025 Oh, no. Not there. 424 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,861 That would be humiliating. 425 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,822 I did what I had to do. 426 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,490 I stepped in, I took charge. 427 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,867 That's what being a man is. 428 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,954 And earlier today, I was freaking out. 429 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:26,248 Pam stepped up. She was the man. 430 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,751 Don't think a woman can be a man? 431 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,879 Well, then that's your stereotype, not mine. 432 00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,382 Okay. 433 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,057 I could work here. 434 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,059 I can see this. 435 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,520 It's right in the middle of the paper belt. 436 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,646 Are you good? 437 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,940 Yeah, I'm good. Are you good? 438 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,859 I'm good. 439 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:06,705 You know what they say. Keep your friends close. 440 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,422 Michael, you're back. 441 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,257 Yes, I am, Charles. Mmm-hmm. 442 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,093 Except this time, you've no legal right to kick me out, 443 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,262 because I have started my very own paper company 444 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,765 right here in the building. 445 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,185 If I were you, Charles miner, I would watch your step, 446 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:32,147 because the Michael Scott paper company is about to open a big old can 447 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,524 of whoop-ass on dunder Mifflin. 448 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:41,448 Actually, a six-pack. We're going to open a six-pack of whoop-ass. 449 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,284 He looked scared.