1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,134 Things are a little slow here. 2 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,969 And there's only so much cold-calling 3 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,762 you can do in a day. 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,865 Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs 5 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,516 you can throw at someone's face. 6 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,604 We're getting pretty good at it. 7 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,583 Jim: Andy put down a bunch of deposits 8 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,102 on stuff for his wedding with Angela, 9 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:28,129 but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... 10 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,507 Several years. Wait, no, that can't be right. 11 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,550 No, timeline's messy. 12 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,844 Anyway, now we are going bargain hunting 13 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,596 in the haunted graveyard of their love. 14 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:40,308 This is my solo. 15 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,740 I'm confused. 16 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:59,077 Am I walking down the aisle to you can call me ai? 17 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,664 Trust me, you will not be walking, you will be boogying. 18 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:06,501 I am extremely interested, so how much will all of this cost? 19 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,254 Well, 12 guys, airfare, three nights in hotel, 20 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,590 food per diem, table upfront for merch... 21 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,009 $9,000. 22 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:19,055 I don't know, it seems like a lot for an a cappella group 23 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,182 from a college we never went to. 24 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,477 Did you even hear the music I just played for you? 25 00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:32,735 What's wrong with you? 26 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,946 These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. 27 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,789 There's not enough blood getting to my hands. 28 00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:38,241 I think you look nice. 29 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,994 Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? 30 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,080 It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence. 31 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:45,205 Looking good. 32 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,499 Okay, thank you. 33 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,379 It's a straightjacket! Okay. 34 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:57,051 When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman empire. 35 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,928 And the wild west. 36 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,389 And war-torn Poland. 37 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,182 And Poland. 38 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,144 There was just a lot going on. 39 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,814 So what you wore to work was the least of anybody's worries. 40 00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:12,275 And in that chaos, I soared. 41 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:16,821 Hey. Hey. 42 00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:19,032 Ed's tires. He's thinking of making a change. 43 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,158 Is this good? 44 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,160 They have some great kitchen ideas. 45 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,120 Okay, Ed's tires, huh? 46 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,456 It's small, I know. 47 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,043 I really appreciate it. 48 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,420 Thanks, Michael, we... What is this? 49 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,921 It's for your trouble. 50 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,840 I don't need $6 to help a friend. 51 00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,967 No, no, listen, as a friend, 52 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,903 I want you to have it. You know I can't take this. 53 00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:41,262 Yes, I do. 54 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,389 But don't forget, you owe me $10. 55 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,515 That was four years ago. 56 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,101 Why don't you let it go? Michael. 57 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,021 What was up with Pam being all pushy and negative in there? 58 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,273 I think she just didn't want a crucifix cake. 59 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,234 It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down. 60 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,361 Am I going down a road? 61 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,863 When I see her bossing you around like that, 62 00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:03,951 it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs 63 00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:06,663 to go the distance. 64 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,708 It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. 65 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,711 And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, 66 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,255 so of course I trust your opinion on this. 67 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,633 I know a few things about love. 68 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:23,221 Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things. 69 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,474 I was gonna use today to purge my inbox, 70 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,727 but now something much more pressing has come up. 71 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:34,565 Ed's tires. Why don't you tell them that we have fewer clients, 72 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,568 so that we can spend more time with each of them? 73 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,822 Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, 74 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,741 and try to mention how you distrust women. 75 00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,159 I'm not gonna do that. 76 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,246 That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan? 77 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,329 I can get there. 78 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,683 Good. You take the lead on this one. 79 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:54,252 Also, do not forget that he has just gone through a messy divorce. 80 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,335 Awesome. 81 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,921 Bring it in. Morning cheer. 82 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:06,973 U-g-I-y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly. U-g-I-y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly. 83 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,910 You ugly! Your mama say you ugly, hey! You ugly! Your mama say you ugly, hey! 84 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,938 Go Michael Scott paper company! Go Michael Scott paper company! 85 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,817 I'm here. I'm part of this now. 86 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,276 You needed to speak to me? 87 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,989 Dwight, take a seat. 88 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,366 I prefer to stand. Less blood clots. 89 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,952 No, that's weird. You can just sit. 90 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:33,916 Great. You know, Dwight, it has been quite a transition for all of us. 91 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,211 Are you happy with the way things have been running lately? 92 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,463 Why do you ask? Do you mean 93 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,441 compared to the way things ran with other bosses? 94 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,466 Comparisons are hard. 95 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,360 I've just been impressed with your performance, 96 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,429 and I wanted to make sure good work doesn't go unnoticed. 97 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,680 Your concern is noted. 98 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,390 Yeah, I like your work ethic. 99 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,517 You're so focused. 100 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,810 Like a wolf, thank you. 101 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,481 I want to start giving you more responsibility. 102 00:05:56,564 --> 00:06:00,067 What do you say you and I go out for a drink this week? 103 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,487 Really? Definitely. 104 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,866 It's firm. 105 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,621 I need you to get me the prices that you're charging Ed's tires, 106 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,706 so I can undercut dunder Mifflin. 107 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,000 Dwight: I don't know that I can do that now. 108 00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:17,710 You know, something's come up. 109 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,420 Oh, no, is it mose? 110 00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:21,631 Did you put the cover on that well? 111 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,674 No, mose is fine. I roped it off. 112 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,677 It's not about mose. Listen, things are changing here. 113 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,679 Michael, they're changing fast. 114 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,097 I'm not following you. 115 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:36,354 Imagine someone has a personal hero they really want to help. 116 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,190 But then there's this new guy. 117 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:43,277 Very cool, very will Smith-esque, 118 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,531 who would not like it if he helped his hero. 119 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,407 Personal hero, cool new guy. 120 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,035 Okay, I think I'm getting your drift. 121 00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:52,703 Good, so you see what I'm saying. 122 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,330 Crystal clear. 123 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,083 So is this for a movie that you're writing? No. 124 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,251 Michael: Can I use it? 125 00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:10,680 Dwight, are you talking about us? 126 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,266 It is possible that I could be talking about us. 127 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:17,812 Someone could say it is like the situation that we are in now. 128 00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:20,565 It is the situation we're in now. 129 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,693 So I would say that the old boss 130 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,903 has always been good to Dwight, 131 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,990 and he was there first, so he has dibs. 132 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,908 You respect dibs, don't you? 133 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,535 I'm not a barbarian. 134 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,911 Good. 135 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,706 Will you meet me in 20 minutes at the spot? 136 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,832 I will. 137 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,375 Dwight? Yes? 138 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,253 Is the cool new guy Charles? 139 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,671 I've said too much. 140 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,256 Is it Stanley? 141 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,174 Hey, Andy. 142 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,278 You know, I've been thinking about what you said... 143 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,220 Nice. I just don't know if I can do it. 144 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,264 That's interesting, because what I hear you saying 145 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,682 is that you do want to do it, 146 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,350 which means you can do it. 147 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,144 Believe me, I broke up with Angela, 148 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,855 and I'm, like, the happiest guy ever. 149 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:05,443 I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy! 150 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,361 Like, total freedom, you know? 151 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,906 It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? 152 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,908 I really rely on her. 153 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,284 I'm pretty emotionally needy. 154 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,202 And you know what? 155 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,663 I am here for you. 156 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,667 Let me be your traveling pants. 157 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,298 What'd you do that for? 158 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,926 You know what I was doing. Okay. 159 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,302 Totally. 160 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,389 Dwight? What's with the shirt? 161 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,310 Are you all right? 162 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,686 I'm sorry, Michael. 163 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,647 Hi, Michael. Oh, my god, run, run! It's a setup! 164 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,023 It's a setup! Dwight, run! 165 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,316 No, Michael. Michael, no. 166 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,443 Let's be cool, okay? You be cool! 167 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:48,569 Yes. 168 00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:50,488 Just... what's going on? 169 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,408 We need to talk about our two companies and how we should behave. 170 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:58,204 Dwight tells me you've been pestering him for company info. 171 00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:01,666 Dwight would not... he did. 172 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,460 I did, Michael. I was upset about the shirtsleeves at first, 173 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,544 but now I'm okay with it. 174 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,672 Michael, I want you to stop pestering my salesman 175 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,759 and I want you to leave dunder Mifflin alone. Do you understand? 176 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,805 I understand nothing. 177 00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:21,394 Wow. 178 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,187 Wow. Michael, are you all right? 179 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,522 It was a setup. 180 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,440 Dwight told Charles. He told him. 181 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:27,626 Tell us what you're talking about. 182 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,360 Yeah. 183 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:32,446 It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, 184 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:37,410 but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon. 185 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,996 We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened. 186 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:43,708 I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay? 187 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:44,959 I don't know how they did it. 188 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:47,545 They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel. 189 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,297 I don't know! Is that clear enough for you? 190 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,635 Andy: Hey, Jim. 191 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,596 I just totally blew a sales call. 192 00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,890 Bro, I do that all the time. 193 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,726 Yeah, well, with you it's different, okay? 194 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,394 'Cause I just... 195 00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,896 I just suck. I just... I suck! 196 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,399 Tuna? Be nice to my friend Jim, okay? 197 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:12,278 When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back. 198 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,905 Well, so what? Your body's a 10. 199 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,407 Just forget it. Jim! 200 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,159 I said forget it! 201 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,168 Dwight schrute. 202 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,502 Hello, traitor. 203 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,089 I think you have the wrong number, Michael. 204 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,051 I want you to listen to me, friend, 205 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,845 and I want you to listen to me good. 206 00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:43,517 I am going to come at you, and I'm going to come at you hard. 207 00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:47,104 I am going to steal all of your clients, 208 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,648 and then I am going to kill them in front of you. 209 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,609 Michael! Just getting hardcore with him. 210 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:52,735 Finally. 211 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,862 Yes. And hear me, Dwight, 212 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:59,200 when I say I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. 213 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:00,701 Bill cosby. 214 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,456 Mr. Schofield, please. Woman: He's in a meeting. 215 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:06,624 Damn it! 216 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,792 Is Mr. Schofield there? 217 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,675 Woman: If you'd like to reach an outside line, 218 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,545 please dial 9 first. Shoot 219 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,965 so, you think Michael's going after the whale, huh? 220 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,301 I have a long relationship with harpercollins publishers 221 00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,511 and Mr. Schofield. 222 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:19,637 I'm not worried. 223 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,805 You sound worried. 224 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,223 And you have bad skin. 225 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,101 Look, everyone, we're all making observations! 226 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,707 Well, if you could do me a big favor and tell Mr. Schofield 227 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,691 that Michael Scott has tickets to the 228 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,486 wilkes-barre penguins game this weekend, 229 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,030 and if he would like to join me... 230 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,367 Hello, Daniel, how are you? Uh-huh. 231 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,744 I sure do. Yes. 232 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,539 Wanted to ask, did Kathy ever make jv? 233 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,333 Look at that old dude and his rolodex go. 234 00:11:49,416 --> 00:11:52,461 I spent a month putting that rolodex on his BlackBerry, 235 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,004 which he now uses as a nightlight. 236 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,297 Michael: Wow. High score? 237 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,508 And, no, I cannot lower my current prices. 238 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,386 Hold on. 239 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:04,223 Hello. Mr. Schofield, thank you so much for taking the time to talk. 240 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,268 I wanted to discuss your contract with us. 241 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,856 You're considering him. 242 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,694 I thought Michael Scott left the paper business after his nervous breakdown. 243 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,612 Michael has been talking to my biggest client. 244 00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:22,074 Master and apprentice pitted against one another 245 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,661 for the fate of the greater Scranton area paper market. 246 00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,623 So it's not exactly like highlander, but still. 247 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,839 Hello, Dwight. I've been expecting your call. What do you want? 248 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,842 I would like to arrange a truce. 249 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:44,221 So you heard Schofield is considering a switch, and you want mercy. 250 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,705 Meet me in our spot in four minutes. 251 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,268 No, you think I'm going to fall for that? There's no... 252 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,352 Michael. 253 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,604 Meet... okay. 254 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,898 Go to the spot and then walk 100 feet. 255 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,649 In which direction? 256 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:56,774 Toward the sun. 257 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:57,860 At what time? 258 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,029 Noon. You have two seconds. 259 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,827 Michael. 260 00:13:10,497 --> 00:13:11,582 Sorry. 261 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,584 Dwight. Michael. 262 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,712 I hope you're not recording this conversation. 263 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:20,841 Good. 264 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,011 I cannot believe that you sided with Charles. 265 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,947 You were making me do things that were not all right. 266 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,097 So you just rat me out? 267 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,349 You could've said no. 268 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,808 And not come through for you? 269 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,603 If you want a truce, I will give you a truce. 270 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,521 I want a truce. I do, too. 271 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,733 Let me take you and your whole company out for lunch at Alfredo's. 272 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:38,901 Cooper's. 273 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,152 I had fish yesterday. 274 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,403 Damn it. 275 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,157 Dwight-a-licious. Where you at? 276 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,952 Hi, Michael. I'm so sorry I'm late. 277 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,620 I got stuck in traffic. 278 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,789 Really? That's weird. We didn't see any. 279 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,624 I hit a bear. What? 280 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,042 He's technically fine. 281 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:58,712 I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo. 282 00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:00,899 Hey, listen, will you do me a favor 283 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,342 and order the meatball parm for me, 284 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,302 with extra cheese? Yeah, sure. 285 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,972 Dwight: Good. I will see you very soon, all right? 286 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,015 Okay. See you in a bit. 287 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,396 Dwight hit a bear. He'll be here in a sec. 288 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,403 Oh, my god, I think we've been robbed! 289 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,740 Yeah? 290 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,104 Dwight: Did you enjoy your lunch? 291 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,102 Dwight, not now, we've been robbed. 292 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,997 No, Michael. You were sabotaged! 293 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,541 No, Dwight, we were robbed. 294 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,460 How would you even know? You're still stuck in traffic. 295 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,090 You? Me. 296 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,235 Michael: What about our truce? 297 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,260 I broke it. 298 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,845 On purpose? Yes. 299 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,073 You think this is some kind of game? 300 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,517 No, this is a war, and I will not stop, I will not rest. 301 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,020 You have no idea what kind of enemy you've created. 302 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,105 You have unleashed a wolf! 303 00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,565 Be that as it may, 304 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:04,320 I have your meatball parm sandwich here, 305 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,238 and I am going to eat it. 306 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,823 And I knew that you would do that. 307 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:10,951 Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich! 308 00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,456 Bastard! 309 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,270 Hi, there. Dwight schrute here. 310 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,713 I was just calling to see if Michael Scott paper 311 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:25,049 was meeting all of your paper needs, 312 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:29,178 and how is Brenda, age four, ponytail, and Simon, age seven? 313 00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:32,639 You don't say. 314 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,808 Schrute comma Dwight. 315 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:39,063 And on the back he wrote, "great salesman, better friend." 316 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,860 "Tall" and "beets." 317 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,072 And say hello to shari, 318 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,991 who is your black wife. 319 00:15:57,956 --> 00:15:59,708 So you're begging for mercy, huh? 320 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,752 Well, you will find none here. 321 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,021 Dwight, do you mind if we talk? 322 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,381 Sure. That'd be fine. 323 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,550 If you keep coming after us, the Michael Scott paper company 324 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,802 cannotsucceed. 325 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,096 This is war and that is what happens. 326 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,891 One more thing. I'm going to have you listen 327 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:17,643 while I steal your biggest client. 328 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,686 Oh, no. No, no, no, no! 329 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,564 Michael. Michael. Michael! I'm turning you down right now. 330 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,334 You can hear me, but I can't hear you. 331 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,859 Mr. Schofield's ready to see you now, 332 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:26,944 Mr. Scott. 333 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,547 Great, Mr. Schofield's ready to see me. 334 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,115 Thank you so much. Don't let him in, he's a traitor! 335 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,366 Walking in the door. Michael! 336 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,659 Michael. Good to see you. 337 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,161 Mr. Schofield, good to see you. 338 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,997 And I'm closing the door. 339 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:43,961 Michael: Now, when Dwight tells you 340 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,713 that he will keep prices steady for a year, 341 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,382 I think he is speaking out of turn. 342 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,134 Really? Yes. 343 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,386 He does not have the authority to say that. 344 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:56,306 I, on the other hand, am the president, the owner and the founder. 345 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,475 It is like you are buying software from Bill Gates. 346 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,978 Are you saying you invented paper? 347 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,647 Okay, okay. 348 00:17:04,731 --> 00:17:06,150 God. Okay, tuna. 349 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,237 Hey, guys. Jim: Hey. 350 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,572 Hello. 351 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,550 Excuse me, can I have your attention, everyone? 352 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,658 Here's the deal, everybody. 353 00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:18,078 Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. 354 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,806 I don't know if it was something you did, 355 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,498 something you said, a look you gave him. 356 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,669 Maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, okay? It stops now! 357 00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:27,129 I guess I could be nicer. 358 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,256 Andy, I think Jim is messing with you. 359 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,466 Really? 360 00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:35,679 Okay. Yeah, okay. 361 00:17:35,762 --> 00:17:37,431 What the heck is happening here? 362 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,057 Two things I need you to understand. 363 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,518 One, Pam and I are very happy together. 364 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,603 That's not what was... 365 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,937 And two, 366 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,899 that stuff that happened with you and Angela is a bummer. 367 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,042 And I know that you don't think 368 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:49,878 you're ever going to find someone else, but you will. 369 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,821 I promise you, you will. 370 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,495 Man, he got me so good. 371 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,125 I learned something about myself today. 372 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,293 Yeah. 373 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,711 I wish this was a sofa, 374 00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:10,130 'cause I feel like I could sit here and talk for hours. 375 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,133 What is that thing that Dwight always says? 376 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:18,138 "Paper is the soil in which the seeds of business grow..." 377 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,890 It's not the soil, it's the manure! 378 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,600 Paper is the manure! 379 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,936 On-time delivery is the soil! 380 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,281 Hello, Dwight. 381 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,450 Spin move! 382 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,247 April 13th, 2002. 383 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,665 Dwight! I'm in a meeting. 384 00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,999 That's very rude. 385 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,751 I barge, because I care. 386 00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:50,295 April 13th, 2002. That is the date 387 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,548 when you tried to switch paper providers 388 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,343 for an obscure sociology textbook, but were hung out to dry 389 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,804 when the price of glossy stock increased. 390 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,657 Maybe we should schedule a meeting on another day. 391 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:04,601 Hey, hey! Continuing. Notice my persistence and recall. Continuing! 392 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,772 You called dunder Mifflin and your order was filled within an hour. 393 00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:12,025 I'm going to pull a date out of the air right now. 394 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,069 April 13th, 2002. 395 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,990 That is the last day that you evaluated your paper needs. 396 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,451 Is it not? We all know that the economy is bad, 397 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,721 and bloated companies like dunder Mifflin... come on. 398 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,831 Are going to fall by the wayside. 399 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,834 Two of their branches have closed within the last year. 400 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,044 The Michael Scott paper company, however, 401 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,213 has opened a new branch this very month. 402 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,717 What he's not telling you is that he will abandon you. 403 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,261 Why don't you guys just e-mail me your best offers, 404 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,530 and we can finish it up that way? 405 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,074 That sounds like a great idea. That sounds like a fantastic idea. 406 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,226 I will see you this weekend for the penguins, box seats as usual! 407 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,728 Okay, sure! Good, good, good. 408 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,188 Thank you, Mr. Schofield, for your time. 409 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,773 Much appreciated. 410 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,275 And tell me, 411 00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,569 how's your gay son? 412 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:57,821 Excuse me? 413 00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:02,451 I color-code all my info. 414 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,994 I wrote "gay son" in green. 415 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:07,789 Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. 416 00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:11,084 Orange means, "orange you glad you didn't bring it up?" 417 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,211 Most colors mean, "don't say it." 418 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,173 How is Tom, the homosexual sophomore? 419 00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:20,677 I wanted to start a company, not a war, 420 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:25,390 because, in a war, you always fight those you are closest to. 421 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,852 And the great tragedy of the civil war 422 00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:30,729 is that brother fought against brother. 423 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:33,607 For what? What purpose did that serve, 424 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,942 apart from abolishing slavery? 425 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,904 In that case, war was the right choice. 426 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,781 This doesn't feel as important, though. 427 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,284 That's just how the world works, I guess. 428 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,047 Michael Scott paper company.