1 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:05,923 They're back! 2 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,759 Oh, yeah! 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,179 Woo-hoo! Kevin: Jim and Pam! 4 00:00:11,304 --> 00:00:13,598 How was Puerto Rico? Was it so romantic? Jim: It was. 5 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:14,682 It really was. 6 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,850 Really was. 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,727 I'm so happy for you. 8 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,020 Puerto Rico was awesome. 9 00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,147 Oh, my gosh. The honeymoon was great. 10 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,608 We met this other couple at the resort, frank and Benny. 11 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,193 We hung out with them a lot. 12 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,779 Frank and beans. Always makes her laugh. 13 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,616 Frank and beans. 14 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,369 Is there someone there? Who's there? 15 00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:36,954 I hear voices. Is somebody there? 16 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,122 Yeah! 17 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:43,169 Is someone here? I can't see you because I'm blind. 18 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,563 Dwight: It's Jim and Pam, Michael. 19 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,047 Michael: It is? Dwight: Yeah. 20 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,465 They're back? 21 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,053 Pam. Nope. 22 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,805 And, oh, Jim. 23 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,224 Hi, Michael. 24 00:00:56,307 --> 00:01:01,145 I haven't seen you since my accident that I had when I fell... 25 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:05,566 I fell into the pool of acid, eyes-first. 26 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,152 Blind guy. 27 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,906 Blind guy mcsqueezy. How do I describe it? 28 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,075 It is a character I've been workshopping, 29 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:17,662 whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. 30 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:21,540 The women in my improv class absolutely hate him. 31 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:26,837 So, what'd you bring us? 32 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,172 Some candy. 33 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,298 What else? 34 00:01:29,382 --> 00:01:30,383 That's it. 35 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,219 Oh, because you spent so much on the wedding. 36 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,182 It's good to be home. 37 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:02,456 This conversation has two items on the agenda. 38 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,850 Did we have a conversation scheduled? 39 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,794 Number one, do not leave your things on my desk. 40 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,588 It's not some kind of personal pen receptacle for you. 41 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,340 I don't care how high they promote you. 42 00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:14,135 Which brings me to item number two. 43 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,554 I never formally congratulated you on your promotion, 44 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:20,933 so I'd just like to say congratulations. 45 00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:26,105 Wow. That's really thoughtful of you, Dwight. Thank you. 46 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,189 You're welcome. 47 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:31,319 I inserted a listening device into the belly of the Mallard. 48 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:35,656 Now I can observe Jim, track Jim, and destroy Jim. 49 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,450 Just like in the bavarian fairytale. 50 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,871 Only this time the Mallard skins the toad alive. 51 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,349 And, of course, in this version, 52 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,043 you lose the whole veiled critique of the kaiser thing. 53 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,088 I'm sorry to have been bugging you all these years. 54 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,674 It's a real handsome duck. 55 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:54,759 Mallard. 56 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,927 Okay, I'll get out of your hair. 57 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,518 Hey. Hey. 58 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,479 We brought back some puerto rican candy. 59 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,647 Coco-leche. That's my favorite. Awesome. 60 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,500 I'll leave it up here so everyone can enjoy it. 61 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,778 Oh, let me just check with Michael first. 62 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,946 I think it'll be okay. 63 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,824 I think it will, too, but I'll just check with him, though. 64 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:19,908 Great. 65 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,495 Oops. Sorry. Oops! 66 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,464 I have recently taken a lover. 67 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,133 Well, that's great. Congratulations. 68 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,010 Who's the lucky lady? 69 00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:39,303 Pam's mom. 70 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,307 What? Pam's mom, helene. 71 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,642 Remember, from your wedding? 72 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,103 You're messing with me. About what? 73 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:48,896 You did not have sex with Pam's mom. 74 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,022 Oh, big time. 75 00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:51,124 What kind of car does she drive? 76 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,733 She drives a green camry, 77 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:55,569 And the seats go all the way down. 78 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:56,653 All the way down. 79 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,988 Oh, my god. 80 00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,115 Oh, my god. 81 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,784 What? 82 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,412 Okay, never tell Pam, and then, secondly... 83 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,997 Good. A pact. A pact. 84 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,308 Although, I may have to break it tonight, 85 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,252 when helene and I tell Pam over dinner. 86 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,378 You all right? 87 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,504 Oh, my god. 88 00:04:13,546 --> 00:04:15,589 Hey, Jim... not now, Toby. My god! 89 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,591 Jesus. Get the hell out of here, idiot! 90 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,717 Toby: What did I do? 91 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,303 Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that, 92 00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:23,389 and please, for both of our sakes, 93 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:27,268 never, ever, ever see her again. 94 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,228 I think you're underestimating Pam. 95 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,730 I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy. 96 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,691 No. Not more than anything. 97 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,984 Okay. I... 98 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,170 I have a good thing with the mom. Don't call her "the mom." 99 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,547 She's right on my way home from work. 100 00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:39,971 Then take a different way home, man! 101 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:43,367 All right, I'll take surface streets. 102 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,287 The last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam. 103 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,872 Okay. So, we're good. 104 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,039 Yeah. 105 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,921 Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two? 106 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:58,257 Sure. Is it okay if I put out some candy 107 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,860 that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico? 108 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,927 Sure. Thanks for asking. 109 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,554 Pam, we're all set. 110 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,519 Yum. 111 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:13,915 Frank and beans! 112 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,524 Frank and beans! 113 00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:18,903 So, what'd we decide for Michael? 114 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,780 The bottle of rum or the seashell alarm clock? 115 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,783 You know what, can I have the weekend to decide? 116 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,619 Bottle of rum it is. 117 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,830 All right, shall we? You know what? 118 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,666 I am really slammed trying to catch up on everything here, 119 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,835 and I know that Michael's slammed, too, 120 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:38,839 so maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy. 121 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,136 Come on, it'll take two seconds. 122 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,638 No, it... 123 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,329 Oh, wow. 124 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,916 That is amazing. I feel like a real puerto rican. 125 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,393 Michael, you're all set at botticelli's. 126 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,937 I changed the reservation to two people. 127 00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,337 Erin, look. 128 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,089 Fun. Michael: Yeah. 129 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:24,218 Wow, botticelli's. That sounds like a special occasion. 130 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,136 Yeah, no, it's nobody. 131 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,848 I don't know. I think Michael has a date. 132 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,559 Yeah, I think you have a date. 133 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,310 Idont, ldont comeon 134 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:34,979 ah, I think we should just drop it. 135 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,606 Because obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. 136 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,450 I don't deserve this, guys. Jim: Yes, you do. 137 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,860 No, I don't. Just take the parrot. 138 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,489 Okay, back to the old grind. 139 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,493 I was probably going to break up with her anyway. 140 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,243 Oh! That's too bad. Don't. 141 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,995 Pam, it is very complicated. 142 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,305 There are a lot of moving parts here. 143 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,497 Sounds complicated. 144 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,749 Yeah, but, I mean, if you really like this person, 145 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,501 then you should see where it goes. 146 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,627 You want me to be happy? 147 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,337 Pam: Of course. 148 00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:04,800 Part of the problem is she's the mother of a close friend of mine. 149 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:08,846 More than a friend. A coworker. 150 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,890 Oh, gossip. Who is it? 151 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,978 Who is it? 152 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,648 Who is it, Michael? 153 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,944 Who? 154 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,070 It's okay. 155 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,699 No, no, no, no, no. 156 00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:33,245 No. Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 157 00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,914 No! 158 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,459 That could have gone one of two ways, 159 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,045 but I never expected her to get upset. 160 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,472 You seem tense. Hey, you want me to give you the chills? 161 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,391 Okay. 162 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:03,859 There's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down 163 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,027 the yolk is running down 164 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,212 Feels good. 165 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,573 There's a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down 166 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,451 sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes dinner. 167 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,581 The blood is gushing down the blood is gushing down 168 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,001 you know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up 169 00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:22,419 that you were into dating mothers. 170 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,797 I would have introduced you to mine. 171 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,092 How could you do this to me? He's my boss. 172 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,929 How many times have I complained about him to you? 173 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,474 No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy! 174 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,562 Who wants a hot chocolate? 175 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,106 Thank you. 176 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,613 So, Dwight gave me this wooden Mallard as a gift. 177 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,157 I found a recording device in it. 178 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:57,121 Yes. So, I think it! Play it just right, 179 00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:01,208 I can get Dwight to live out the plot of national treasure. 180 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:05,337 You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother, too, now. 181 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,134 Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott. 182 00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:15,431 Andy, can I talk to you for a second? 183 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,349 Sure thing, tuna boss. 184 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,946 Andy: How may I be of service to you? 185 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,032 I am going to need your advice. 186 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,449 I was thinking of getting this opera for Dwight's birthday. 187 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,216 What do you think? 188 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,513 This Aria is a joke. Really? 189 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,848 What are you thinking? 190 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:01,870 I was going to go with this one. 191 00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:04,688 Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, 192 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,232 you will get him something better. 193 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,113 Nard-dog, what was that all about? 194 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:14,448 I know, right? 195 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,050 What were you guys talking about in there? 196 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,535 Trust me, it would only make you mad. 197 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,300 Due to a certain recent incident, 198 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,053 corporate has asked all the branches to come up with ideas 199 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,641 as to how we can better communicate with our communities. 200 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:44,186 Is this because of the 60 minutes segment about working conditions 201 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,349 in our Peruvian paper mill? 202 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,980 That was a hit job. 203 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,567 If you read the dunder Mifflin press release, it clearly states 204 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,111 that they had absolutely nothing to do 205 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:55,239 with that particular cancer cluster. 206 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,158 So, if there is a lesson to be learned here, 207 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,910 and I'm not sure that there is, 208 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,663 it is that in order to help our communities, 209 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,541 we need to put other people's needs ahead of our own. 210 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,920 And whoever comes up with the best idea gets a $50 gift certificate 211 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,940 to the restaurant of his or her choice. 212 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,799 Yeah. Michael: Good, good. 213 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,761 Okay, who wants to help the world one step at a time? 214 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,346 All right, good. 215 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,469 Volunteerism is important. 216 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:22,724 Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, 217 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,768 and they need a lot of help down there. 218 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,563 Last Sunday, I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself. 219 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:28,730 All right, that's... 220 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,316 Paint a mural of chicano leaders. All right. 221 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,528 I have a way to make Scranton a better place. You could leave it. 222 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,031 Okay, I'm out of here. See you later, guys. 223 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,616 Andy: And stay out. Bye-bye. 224 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,078 Okay. Oh, no, here's an idea. Conservation. 225 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,038 I love it, conservation. 226 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,708 Let's start by conserving our time 227 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,918 and stop having these stupid meetings. 228 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,131 No more meetings! No more meetings! 229 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,426 No more meetings! No more meetings! 230 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,929 Anybody else? Who else has an idea? 231 00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:03,015 I have some ideas about conservation. Jim: Yes. 232 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,224 Angela. Thank you. 233 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,185 Please. Can you hold down the fort? 234 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:09,622 Hey, boo. Angela: Well, first of all, I think that we could... 235 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,647 Why are you crying? 236 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,292 Jim: Yes, I think we should look into that. 237 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,359 If you could just speak up louder. 238 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,404 Well, for our profit and loss... Michael: No, no. 239 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:21,450 No, I'll talk to her. I will. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Uh-uh. 240 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,662 Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. All right. Bye, pickle. 241 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,624 Phyllis: Who's pickle? Kevin: Who's pickle? 242 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,751 Pamela Morgan beesly. 243 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,378 You need to apologize to your mother right now. 244 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,923 I'm sorry, I was told I had the floor. Yes. 245 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,317 Hold on, hold on. What's going on? 246 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:38,425 Nothing. 247 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,928 Nothing at all. It's all good. 248 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:45,682 I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes me an apology. 249 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,660 For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? 250 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,394 Don't call my mother your lover. 251 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,998 Oh, yes! That's what I'm talking about. 252 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,649 That is not okay, dude. 253 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,942 All right, in my defense... 254 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,818 Disgusting. That's messed up, man. 255 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,279 Yes, thank you. Welcome to my personal hell. 256 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,615 You have no sense of boundanes, rmchaei shut up, Oscar. 257 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,093 Hey, all right, you know what? Clearly, I'm outnumbered here. 258 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,496 But can I just say one thing? Please? 259 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,415 What is so wrong about me? 260 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,710 I'm caring, I'm generous. 261 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,255 I'm sensual. 262 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:24,429 Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness? 263 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:32,813 Good luck, Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for. 264 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,123 Maybe you're right. Who are we to... 265 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,232 Shut up, Oscar! 266 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,733 What is wrong with all of you? 267 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:39,236 He is sleeping with my mother! 268 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,571 I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on. 269 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,949 Let's get back to the matter at hand. 270 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,367 Whatever, you know. 271 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,452 Sleep with my mom, just sleep with everybody's mom. 272 00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:48,536 No, no, no, no, no_.No. 273 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,556 That's my mom you're talking about. 274 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,873 Idonthke the tone here. 275 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,501 This is a place of business. You are to listen to others, 276 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,003 you are to give others respect, 277 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,171 and you are to keep your personal issues out of it. 278 00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,590 Oh, my god! You are ridiculous! 279 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,926 Do not talk to me that way! 280 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:06,555 I am your boss and I may someday be your father, so get out. 281 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,766 You are never going to be my father. You get out. 282 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:13,770 I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am. 283 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,522 Me, too. 284 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:20,694 Hey. Hey. 285 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,280 Pam, how's your day going? 286 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,366 Pam, just for the record, I think you're overreacting a little bit. 287 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,452 Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions. 288 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,704 Oh, well, thanks, Oscar. 289 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,223 I was just wondering, how would you feel 290 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,957 if Michael was sleeping with your mom? 291 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,168 My mother's in a wheelchair. 292 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,587 Well, he could still... 293 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,340 I'm sorry about that. 294 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:46,553 Could I just get you to sign the second page as well? 295 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,236 Kelly: Ryan, I have to ask you a personal question. 296 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,058 Do you think that I should get a fedora? 297 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,101 Ryan: I don't think so, no. 298 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,871 Kelly: Why? I think I'd look really hot in one. 299 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,104 Where did you get your fedora? 300 00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:57,397 Ryan: I'd rather not say. 301 00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:59,775 Kelly: You think I'm going to get the same fedora as you? 302 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:00,984 Hey, Dwight. Shh! 303 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,296 Ryan: Natural look. Kelly: I think I would look really cute in it. 304 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,922 It has to go with the persona that you already have. 305 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,215 Well, I think I have that persona. 306 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,467 Where did you get that Mallard? 307 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:08,509 What the hell is a Mallard? 308 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,868 That! 309 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,413 Oh, professor Damon d. Duck. Jim gave him to me. 310 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,916 Okay, I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back. 311 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,751 If you take it back, I'll scream. 312 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,355 I'll give you five bucks for it. 313 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,714 Twenty. 314 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,174 Deal. Ten. 315 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,097 You're so cool. 316 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,308 This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas. 317 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,953 Hey, Toby, can I talk to you for a minute? 318 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:36,978 Yeah, sure. 319 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,939 What's up? I just wanted to apologize 320 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,941 for taking that tone with you earlier. 321 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,193 That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. 322 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,988 Yeah. That means a lot. Thank you for saying it. 323 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,132 Can I sit down for a second? 324 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,156 Yeah, or pull up a chair, 325 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,492 or you can sit on the shredder. 326 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,790 This is going to sound weird, 327 00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,794 but I think I may be the victim of a hostile work environment 328 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,629 with this whole Pam situation. 329 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,465 You should probably deal with that outside of the workplace. 330 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,092 She brought it into the workplace, 331 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,469 so I feel like it has to be dealt with here. 332 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:12,472 Yeah. Okay, well, I mean, I could talk to her. 333 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:13,557 Yeah. Really? 334 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,350 Yeah. Would you do that? 335 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,686 That's why they pay me the big bucks. 336 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,234 You're a good, good guy. 337 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,111 Okay. 338 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:29,114 You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, 339 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,699 we'd become friends. 340 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,953 Hey, Pam, could I talk to you for a sec? 341 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,415 Sure. What's up? 342 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:42,419 Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that's happened today, 343 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,088 it would be a good idea if you and me and Michael 344 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,008 head into the conference room for some conflict resolution. 345 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,610 What's the matter? Can't fight your own battles? 346 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,179 No, that's... 347 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,574 Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off, you know? 348 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,433 Oh, would that make you feel better? 349 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,144 I don't... I can't hear your conversation. 350 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,105 You can tell Michael that I'm not leaving. 351 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,130 Buddy, I think that you can't make her leave... 352 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,697 Yeah, yeah, okay, you're a jackass. 353 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:14,367 Hey, hey, you know what? You're just as stubborn as your mother. 354 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,732 When you don't want to do something, you just don't do it. 355 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,039 Michael, you're just herrebound! 356 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,017 You were right, Jim, I should have listened to you. 357 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,959 Should never have told her. 358 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,753 What? You knew? 359 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:29,925 Barely. I... I don't have all the facts. 360 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,136 Frank and beans. 361 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,767 Okay, do you want me to stop dating your mom? 362 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,269 Is that how we're going to get past this? Because I will. 363 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,730 Hmm. Yes. 364 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,190 Well, that is not going to happen. 365 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,566 Then why did you even offer? 366 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,486 Because I assumed that you want me to be happy, 367 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,072 because I want you to be happy. 368 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,908 Michael, let me make this very easy for you. 369 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,995 I could give a About your happiness. Stop dating my mother! 370 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,892 You know what? I'm going to start dating her even harder. 371 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,084 What's that supposed to mean? 372 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,585 You know what it means. 373 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:12,550 Hey shuth. 374 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,222 I don't need to be friends with Pam. 375 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,099 I have plenty of female friends. 376 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:25,355 My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt, although she just blocked me on im. 377 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,985 What's-her-face from quiznos. I see her four times a week. 378 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,076 Dwight, you brought the Mallard back. 379 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:41,037 Well, I had to. I mean, Kelly was not... 380 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,706 Hi, buddy. 381 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,762 I'm sorry. A wooden duck? 382 00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:03,226 Mallard. I put it in your office in order to surveil you. 383 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,022 I was jealous that you got the promotion over me. 384 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,816 Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this. 385 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,877 And you're not equipped for espionage. I'm equipped... 386 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,153 Stop. 387 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:15,280 Don't tell Michael. 388 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,448 I won't. 389 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:19,034 But you will wash and buff our car. 390 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:22,162 Punishment fits the crime. Iaccept 391 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:26,916 good night, everyone. Night, Pam. 392 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,794 Thanks again for the rum. 393 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,840 Good night, Michael. Good night, Erin. 394 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:38,720 Hey, Pam, can I see you for a second? 395 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,810 So, Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, 396 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,688 so he generously offered to wash our car. 397 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,733 Aw, he did that for me? 398 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,693 Yes, he did. 399 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,447 You know what was nice? 400 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,574 Night swimming in biobay. 401 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,786 Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam? 402 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,037 Pam: Yeah. 403 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,249 Say more nice things. 404 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:12,212 Well, we went on a Segway tour, and we're awesome at it. 405 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,755 Yes, we are. 406 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,174 And frank and beans. 407 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:20,678 Maybe I'm overreacting. 408 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,555 Yeah, maybe. 409 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:24,808 But I don't think I am. 410 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,768 You're not, nope. 411 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,062 Nope. 412 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,609 Kevin: Oh! Where did you get that hat? 413 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,902 I'd rather not say. 414 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,387 Jim: We have our high quality 28—pound bond, 415 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:07,016 our heavier 38-pound bond, oroun“ 416 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,936 I've got eight hours of this. 417 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:15,942 Of course I wanted Jim to find the Mallard. Make him feel safe. 418 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,362 Did you really think I would put my primary listening device 419 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,905 in a wooden Mallard? 420 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,658 I'm not insane. 421 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,745 Jim: Fifty-five pound cover stock, which is the heaviest paper 422 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,149 that will still feed smoothly through your desktop printer.