1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,173
Attention, everyone!
Jim and I, on behalf

2
00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,567
of the party planning
committee have an...

3
00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:08,009
Tooloud. Too, tooloud.Tooloud.

4
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:12,471
But effective. Look. On behalf
of Jim and I, merry Christmas.

5
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,349
All: Merry Christmas.

6
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,726
Merry Christmas. Good.

7
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:19,770
My diabolical plot is
on hold for Christmas.

8
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:24,108
My heart just melts with
the sound of children singing.

9
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:26,777
(Laughing)

10
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:31,490
Not really. I'm just tired. The
days are short. I don't know.

11
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,743
Maybe I'm depressed.

12
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,745
It is time to unveil the tree.

13
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,996
Hey, rockefeller center!

14
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,164
Jim: Yeah.

15
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,641
Uh, I've actually
been to rock center

16
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,767
and this is nothing like that.

17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,251
This is all we have. Ugh!

18
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,753
Nope, it's not "ugh."

19
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,047
It is office camaraderie.

20
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,298
It is warm feelings.

21
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,234
Why don't we talk more
about it instead of doing it?

22
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,886
Thirty, 29, 28...

23
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,447
Why would you
start so high? ...27...

24
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,472
Three, two, one.

25
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,556
26...

26
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,766
Phyllis: Ooh!

27
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,059
You didn't decorate it.

28
00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,142
Exactly.

29
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:02,230
We didn't, because we think it
would be better to do it together.

30
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,190
Everyone. Why would
you wrap it in a sheet

31
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,317
if you're not
covering anything up?

32
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,319
Is... is it fake? Pam.

33
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:13,532
Yes! We are unveiling an
artificial tree that will never die.

34
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,616
Yes.

35
00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:15,819
Like the spirit of Christmas.

36
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,137
And we're supposed
to applaud you

37
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,163
for taking a giant
diaper off a fake tree?

38
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,416
This was a successful
unveiling! Go back to work!

39
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,168
Merry Christmas.

40
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,025
Hello. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys.

41
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,112
I'm not sure I've earned the
right to make announcements yet,

42
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,572
but whoever is giving me
the 12 days of Christmas

43
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,449
as my secret Santa,

44
00:01:55,783 --> 00:02:01,372
please stop. I can't take it
anymore. My cat killed a turtledove.

45
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,042
The French hens have started
pulling out my hair to make a nest.

46
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,794
Please stop.

47
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,879
What psycho would
send that as a gift?

48
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,970
I begged Dwight and Jim to
give me Erin for secret Santa,

49
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,347
and I decided to give Erin
the 12 days of Christmas.

50
00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:19,598
Bowtie time.

51
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:23,686
Is it my fault that the first eight
days there's basically 30 birds?

52
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,396
Ho! Ho! Ho!

53
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:30,151
Merry Christmas, boys and
girls. It's me, Santa claus.

54
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,694
Hey, Santa.

55
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,446
Theyfinahy ietyou do it yeah.

56
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,613
Congrats, phyl.

57
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:35,740
It's so edgy.

58
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,034
Phyllis: I have been wanting
to be Santa for years.

59
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,119
I believe I have
the right temperament

60
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,121
and the figure to
do the job well.

61
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:46,459
I slipped a note to Jim 11 weeks
ago, and he said I could do it.

62
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:48,002
(Phyllis laughs)

63
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,714
It's been a long journey.

64
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,260
But I'm Santa claus!

65
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,431
So, Santa, what can we
expect from this party?

66
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601
It's going to be a very jolly
time if you've been good.

67
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,019
What if you've been bad?

68
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,021
Then nothing but
a lump of coal for you.

69
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,856
What if you've been
really, really bad?

70
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,150
More evil than strictly wrong.

71
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,694
Hey, creed? We
covered it. Lump of coal.

72
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:14,862
Yeah.

73
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,192
For the past several weeks,

74
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,075
my secret Santa has been
giving me pieces of a machine

75
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,826
that I've been
attempting to assemble.

76
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:24,914
I'm suspicious of this, because
I had the exact same idea

77
00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,375
for catching osama bin laden.

78
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:30,753
I would simply send him
a different piece each day.

79
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,589
He would assemble
it to find himself

80
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,466
in jail!

81
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,303
You know, Oscar, every
time I make this lasagne

82
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,639
people ask me if
it's a family recipe,

83
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,934
but really, I just get
the recipe from the box.

84
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,144
That's funny.

85
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:50,940
Is it funny? I thought it was
more interesting than funny.

86
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,572
I think my water just broke.

87
00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,990
That's too funny.

88
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,451
Oscar and the warehouse guy.

89
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,830
Go, Oscar!
Go, gay warehouse guy!

90
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,166
Here's Santa!

91
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,003
Hey, little girl, what would
you like for Christmas?

92
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,924
Ooh! You have been a very
naughty girl, I see.

93
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,135
Michael, we already
have a Santa. Phyllis.

94
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,554
What the hell is going on?

95
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,349
Phyllis, Jim? Phyllis is Santa?

96
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:26,767
Yeah. Phyllis.

97
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,328
Yeah. I told her a long
time ago she could do it.

98
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,520
Take it back. That is absurd.

99
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,646
No. I'm not gonna do that.

100
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,189
No, Jim, come on!

101
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,500
I think she's doing a good job.

102
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,193
Itsinsane! A woman
Santa? Where does it stop?

103
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,822
No! Jim, this may be the last
Christmas that we have here.

104
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,658
Doesn't it make you
a tiny bit anxious,

105
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,077
me not playing Santa? Come on!

106
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,014
I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis
that she can't be Santa.

107
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:51,750
Fine. Then do it anonymously.
Ransom-note ster. You can...

108
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,145
You know what?
I have a bunch of letters

109
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,713
cut out of magazines in my desk.

110
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,797
You can use those.

111
00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,466
If this were Russia, yeah, sure,

112
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,092
everybody would go to one Santa,

113
00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,094
and there would be
a line around the block,

114
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,387
and once you sat on her lap

115
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,614
and she asked you
what you wanted,

116
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,057
you would say,
probably, freedom,

117
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:10,728
at which point the kgb would
arrest you and send you to Siberia.

118
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,522
It's a good thing
Russia doesn't exist anymore.

119
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:17,109
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

120
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:22,823
Why pay more to sit next to
old trannie claus over there

121
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,825
when you can sit on my lap?

122
00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:29,455
Phyllis is only pretending to
be a man. I'm the real thing!

123
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,333
Sit down on my lap
and there will be no doubt!

124
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,459
Okay. Okay.

125
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,086
No, it's not, like, penis-wise.

126
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,380
Hello, little boy!
What's your name?

127
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,966
Michael, it's me, Kevin.

128
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,010
Phyllis says
I'm too big for her lap.

129
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:48,974
Oh, I am so sorry that Phyllis
hates you and hates your body,

130
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,852
but Santa remembers a reindeer

131
00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:55,189
that was just a tiny
bit different as well.

132
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,857
When can I sit on your lap?

133
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,568
Right now!
Come on over here, big boy!

134
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,947
There we go! Oh, my god.

135
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,534
That's really comfortable.

136
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,580
What would you like
for Christmas, little boy?

137
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:17,002
I don't know. I didn't know
you were gonna ask me that.

138
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:19,463
Well, what did you think
was going to happen?

139
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:23,509
I didn't know. Nobody's ever
let me sit on their lap before.

140
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,053
(Softly) All right,
just say some toys, please.

141
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,846
Can you give me some choices?

142
00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:30,099
'Cause I really don't want
to mess up on this list.

143
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,142
Damn it, Kevin. Come on.

144
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,396
What about if I tell you
the things I don't want?

145
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,648
Okay, get off! Get off! Off!

146
00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:38,983
(Groans)

147
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,026
Oh, god!

148
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,028
I didn't even get to
tell you what I wanted.

149
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,613
Okay, you know what you get?

150
00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:46,991
You get a thousand helium
balloons attached to you

151
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,160
so Santa doesn't have
to go through this again.

152
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,704
Awesome.

153
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,289
Well?

154
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,040
I'm trying, Phyllis.
You're Santa.

155
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,126
The only Santa.
That's what I want.

156
00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,588
You promised me this. Don't
make me get Bob involved.

157
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,256
What would Bob do?

158
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,675
Never mind.
I shouldn't have said that.

159
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,594
Does it hurt?

160
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:07,845
It stings a lot.

161
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,555
Hmm.

162
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,224
I keep trying to figure out
who's sending me these gifts.

163
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:13,392
I know, right?

164
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,394
So far no one will admit to it.

165
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,187
(Chuckles) Isityou?

166
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,108
Yeah!

167
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,404
Totally. I admit it. It's me.

168
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,697
(Laughs) Seriously?

169
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,742
Seriously? Are you serious?

170
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:30,951
Is... what... is it you?

171
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:35,664
Yeah. Totally serious. I'm
your secret Santa. Busted!

172
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:36,915
(Laughs)

173
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,876
There he is.

174
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,210
Hey, man.

175
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,962
Is Matt around?
I've got his check.

176
00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:45,549
Matt is on a delivery.
Just leave it here. I'll take it.

177
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,968
I'll just wait for him.

178
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,238
Matt's a pretty good-looking
dude, don't you think?

179
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,681
I'll just leave
it here with you.

180
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729
Come here! Come here! Come here!

181
00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:01,440
I'm doing something
over here. Come on! Ah!

182
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,524
Ho! Ho! Ho!

183
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,485
Michael: Come on, I
need this. Come over here!

184
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,653
Just sit down!

185
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,862
No, no, no, no, no, no!

186
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,197
Is everything okay? Yeah. Yeah.

187
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,549
Ryan and I are
just having some fun.

188
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,717
Can I just talk to you
for a second? Yeah.

189
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,576
No, now. Okay, what?

190
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,162
You can't yell out,
"I need this, I need this,"

191
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,081
as you pin down
an employee on your lap.

192
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,166
Okay. You know what, Jim?

193
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,419
With two santas in the room,
things get ruthless.

194
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,147
Yeah. Do you understand?
You forced my hand.

195
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,051
Michael, it's Phyllis.
We want Phyllis as Santa.

196
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,842
Do we? Do we?
Is that what we want?

197
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,260
Why don't we take a vote on it?

198
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,345
Great.

199
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,805
Hey! Okay, everybody.

200
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,891
The office is being
pulled apart. I realize that.

201
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,852
There are traditions at stake.

202
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,580
And there are women...
Who wants Phyllis as Santa?

203
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,649
No, no, no! Wait! No!
There are other choices.

204
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,860
There's information that we...
Are you kidding me, Kevin?

205
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,362
After you almost killed me?

206
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,115
Michael, I had you.
I just want to try Phyllis.

207
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,410
And if you want Michael
as Santa, raise your hand.

208
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,246
Can I get you some punch?

209
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,624
I... no, I'll get some punch.
That looks delicious.

210
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,543
(All exclaiming)

211
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:03,836
Kelly: Michael!

212
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,006
Excuse me.

213
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,759
Whoever has been sending me
the parts to this gun,

214
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,762
I think you sent me a gear
instead of a trigger.

215
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,806
How do you know it's a gun?

216
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,474
What else does it look like?

217
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,394
Not a gun.

218
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,062
Well, I don't have
all the pieces yet.

219
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:26,817
Well, unless the missing piece
is a gun, you don't have a gun.

220
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,737
Not a gun.

221
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,575
In the north pole, I spend many
nights alone tinkering with toys.

222
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:40,038
So today, let's put a twinkle
in old kris kringle's eye.

223
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,541
Let the party begin!

224
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,419
(All exclaiming)

225
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,259
I don't ask for much for
Christmas. I really don't.

226
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:56,346
It's not like I am begging
people to buy me diamonds

227
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,725
and broach pendants.

228
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,226
Oh!

229
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,105
"Buy me something expensive, or
I'm gonna kill myself." That's not...

230
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,484
I don't care about that!
All I want to be is Santa.

231
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:12,404
And you want to take that
away from me, fine.

232
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,364
Go ahead.

233
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,283
But when you need my help

234
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,743
because I am ruining everything,

235
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:18,911
don't look at me!

236
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,249
Behold,

237
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:26,960
Jesus Christ.

238
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:31,340
And I bring to you
glad Christmas tidings.

239
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,968
I want to remind everyone
the true meaning of Christmas.

240
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,806
Those of you who wish
to join me, that's great.

241
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,140
I am excited by that,

242
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,059
and those of you who don't,

243
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,645
I forgive you,
but I never forget.

244
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,106
Wow, Michael. This must
be obvious how wrong this is.

245
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:49,817
The antichrist.

246
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,109
Okay, you can't... (Exclaims)

247
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,278
Look, you cannot push religion.

248
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,197
But I can push drugs in here.

249
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,508
Is that what you're saying? No.

250
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:59,034
Well, you have to pick one
or the other. Your choice.

251
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,829
Pick your poison. Get
back to me. In the meantime,

252
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,415
I am going to spread my
goodness all over this company!

253
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,210
Hey, phyms?

254
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,672
Could you not reveal to Erin
that I'm her secret Santa?

255
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,650
All right, sweetie, I'll
just tell her it's Michael.

256
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,758
Okay.

257
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,095
Both: (Singing) I saw
three ships come sailing in

258
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,465
Pam: Have you talked to him?

259
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,597
What?

260
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,474
Matt.

261
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,767
Oscar: Is it that obvious?

262
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,229
No. Hey.

263
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:29,982
Hmm.

264
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:34,278
Good pate, right? Oscar
made it. Have you met Oscar?

265
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,988
I don't think so.

266
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,781
Hey, Oscar, come here.

267
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,290
Oscar, this is Matt,
and Matt loves your pate.

268
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,417
I had some.

269
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,668
Oscar's paté's great.

270
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,339
I could eat it all day,
every day. Mmm.

271
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,845
How come the good ones
are never straight, right?

272
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,722
Okay, Pam. Okay.

273
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,810
Yes. They're the only two gay guys
I know. But they should be together.

274
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:11,440
This just arrived from the
dunder Mifflin north pole branch.

275
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,318
We don't have a
north pole branch. Idiot!

276
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:19,197
Uh-oh! What's Dwight
gonna get? What is it?

277
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,699
Yes!

278
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,743
Oh, yes! It's space garbage.

279
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,454
Dwight's gonna be able
to build himself a friend.

280
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748
Deck the halls with crappy gifts

281
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,960
and Stanley, you've
been very good this year.

282
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,086
I have.

283
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,130
Yeah, except for
cheating on your wife.

284
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,966
Adultery's a sin. Look it
up in the Bible, people.

285
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,092
What'd he get?

286
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,053
He got scented candles.

287
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,222
Well, that's appropriate. A
lot of fire where you're going.

288
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,724
Better get used to it.

289
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,435
You're going to h-e-I-I,
double hockey sticks.

290
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,728
Going to hell, Stanley.

291
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,938
Angela: Amen.

292
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,982
And this brings us
to you, little one.

293
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:57,027
I can't see from here, people.
Somebody shout it out.

294
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,904
Don't make me get up.

295
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,699
It's fabric.
I really wanted this.

296
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:06,453
That's fantastic! You can make
another dress that goes past your feet.

297
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,704
Andy, was this you?

298
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:08,789
It's a secret.

299
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,416
No, Andy had Erin.
Phyllis: It was a secret.

300
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,751
Pam: Michael! Phyllis: You...

301
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,379
What? Was I not supposed to say?

302
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:16,713
What? Turn it back on.

303
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,263
(Door closing)

304
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,117
David: Yes, Michael.
What is so urgent?

305
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,519
David, guess who I am
sitting here dressed as.

306
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,313
I'm not going to guess. You
can tell me, or! Will hang up.

307
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:36,316
I will give you a hint.
His last name is Christ.

308
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,028
He has the power of flight.
He can heal leopards.

309
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,154
Michael...

310
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,948
I am Jesus, David,
and you know why?

311
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,411
Because Phyllis, a woman,
has uslurped my role as Santa.

312
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,495
Michael... what?

313
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,831
This is a very, very bad time.

314
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,458
Really? What's going on?

315
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,545
Stephanie,
can you hop off, please?

316
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,838
Stephanie: Sure, David.

317
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:01,425
What the hell? How rude!
Does she do that all the time?

318
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,319
Erin: Do you want me off
this call too, Michael?

319
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,680
Hey, what? Get off!
Get off the phone!

320
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,477
David: Listen, I shouldn't tell you
this, but the company has a buyer.

321
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,022
The board will have no
choice but to approve,

322
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,357
and they are going
to clean house.

323
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,692
What does that mean?

324
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,444
I'll be fired.

325
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,030
We”, can't Alan protect you?

326
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,656
Alan will be out, too.
All of us.

327
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,366
All of us?

328
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,451
Goodbye, Michael.

329
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,952
Oh, my god.

330
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,708
Michael: Earlier today,
this office needed a Santa.

331
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:39,921
And then it needed a second
Santa. And then it needed a Jesus.

332
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,799
And now,

333
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,053
it needs a Michael.

334
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,307
And that's one suit
Phyllis cannot fit into.

335
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,686
Hey, how's everybody doing?

336
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,939
Not great. You heckled
Santa for an hour and a half.

337
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,108
That was a different guy.
That was Jesus.

338
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,486
Jesus sort of ruined the party.

339
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,196
Hurt, petulant Jesus.

340
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,615
Are you serious?
That is so offensive.

341
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,826
You know what's
even more offensive,

342
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:14,956
is bailing on this party because
some jerk ruined the first part of it.

343
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,959
Dwight, come here.

344
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,213
Here's my debit card. I want
you to go pick up a bunch of pizzas

345
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,440
and meet me in
the conference room.

346
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,507
What's your pin number?

347
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,467
I don't want to say.

348
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,011
But it's fun to stay at the...

349
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,057
It's fun to stay at the...

350
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:35,018
Where? Holiday inn. I don't...

351
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,604
(Humming)

352
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,652
I thought that
you would like it.

353
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,195
It was a little much, Andy.

354
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,323
Well, it's the thought
that counts.

355
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,075
What were you thinking?

356
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:56,164
I suppose a gentleman might
throw in the towel at this point.

357
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460
Guess what. Not gonna happen.

358
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,589
You know what? Christmas
isn't about Santa or Jesus.

359
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,927
It's about the workplace.
All of you feel like my family.

360
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:14,891
Ryan, you are my son, and
Pam, you're my wife, and Jim...

361
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:20,063
And Angela and Phyllis,
you are my grandmas.

362
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,483
And Stanley, you're our mailman.

363
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,279
And I can't help but look at all
of your wonderful, beautiful faces

364
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,114
and think, "how could
they do this to us?"

365
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,197
What? (All murmuring)

366
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,366
How could we do what to you?

367
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,552
That's not... never... nothing.

368
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:33,576
Why would we...

369
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,828
We deserve to know.

370
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,055
Michael: I didn't say anything!

371
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,330
We're going out of business!

372
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,456
What? What?

373
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,540
Andy: You are kidding me.

374
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:40,726
Wait, wait, wait. Who said that?

375
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,502
David told me on the phone.
David told me.

376
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,771
Andy: When?
When did he tell you, today?

377
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,674
Earlier today,
he said we have been sold.

378
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,800
Jim: What?

379
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:49,885
(Yelling)

380
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,262
Jim: Dwight! Jesus.
Pam: Come on!

381
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,348
Michael, wait.
So they said we are sold.

382
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,309
David is gone, Alan
is gone. We're all gone.

383
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,852
Okay, but we haven't gone under.

384
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,997
We've been sold, and that
can mean many different things.

385
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,273
It's hard for me to
imagine a scenario

386
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,901
where Meredith Palmer keeps
herjob and David Wallace does not.

387
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,694
No offense, Meredith.
No, I get it.

388
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,921
I'll call him. I'll call David.

389
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,072
No you won't, because
he's not picking up his phone.

390
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:14,951
Yes, I will, because I always
know how to get through to him.

391
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,205
He told me where
his kids go to school.

392
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,790
I call the school. I tell
them I'm the pediatrician.

393
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,628
They patch me through to his
secretary. I use my little girl voice.

394
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,879
(Exclaims)

395
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,732
David: Hey, sweetie, what is it?

396
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,217
It's not sweetie.
It's Michael Scott.

397
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,320
What the hell? Stephanie,
could you hop off, please?

398
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,179
Michael, I have never...

399
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,302
David... never, ever...

400
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,598
David, you are on speakerphone

401
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,392
with the entire branch
and the warehouse.

402
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,394
Hi, David. All: Hey, David.

403
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,854
Hi, everyone.

404
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,106
David, they do not believe me

405
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,485
when you told me
that everyone was canned.

406
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,421
You weren't supposed
to tell anyone, Michael.

407
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,905
Well, I think
we're past that now.

408
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,573
I am not supposed...

409
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:55,700
Okay, fine. Guys, I was really

410
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,577
only talking about Alan, myself,

411
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,412
and a few other
execs you don't know.

412
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,915
Oh, my god.
David, that's horrible.

413
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:06,544
How about us? It's Meredith. By the
way, your wife is a very lucky woman.

414
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,006
Look, they're buying the
company for the distribution.

415
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,926
You guys are the only thing
about this company that works.

416
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,135
So congratulations.

417
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,262
We're not fired?

418
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,763
No. Congratulations.

419
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,473
All right! Yeah!

420
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:19,766
(All cheering)

421
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,101
Come on!

422
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,435
It's a Christmas miracle!

423
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,812
Dwight: Yeah!

424
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,609
(Singing) Walk a lonely road

425
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,862
only one that I have ever known

426
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,490
don't know where it goes

427
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,702
but it's all to me
and I walk alone

428
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,413
it's true. Yes.

429
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,456
Dwight: We all walk alone. Jim.

430
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,001
Jim.

431
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,629
Jim.

432
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,635
My shadow's the only one
that walks beside me

433
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,722
my shallow heart's...

434
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,141
Wow.

435
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,479
Yeah. Thatwastheidea thank you.

436
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,481
Awesome. Thanks, man.

437
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:15,780
(Singing) Christmas tree
thou leaves are so unchanging

438
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,240
of course!

439
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,452
You got it?

440
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,370
What is that?

441
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,538
I have no idea.

442
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,168
Well, maybe those will help.

443
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,003
Michael, please. Come on.

444
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,547
Sure. Sorry.

445
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,631
Nice to meet you, Oscar.

446
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:34,715
Nice to meet you, Mark.

447
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,760
It's Matt. Right, Matt.

448
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,430
I know what I'm doing, Pam.

449
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,230
Oh, man!

450
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,025
I can use this for so many nuts.

451
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,986
Macadamias, Brazil nuts, pecans,

452
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:58,281
almonds, clams, snails.

453
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:00,950
Hi, Santa.

454
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,285
Hi, Michael.

455
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:05,872
(Grunts)

456
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,082
Okay.

457
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,293
I'd like to make a wish.

458
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,419
What?

459
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:17,967
I would like an Xbox and a TV
that's compatible with an Xbox.

460
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,305
And I'm sorry.

461
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,437
An Xbox it is, because I've
decided you're a good boy.

462
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,149
Scott, what in the hell
is going on here?

463
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,127
No, no, no. We worked it
out. You called Bob? Phyllis!

464
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,570
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
It was earlier today.

465
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,822
Okay.

466
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:40,466
Hi, sweetheart. You okay, baby?

467
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,574
I'm good, baby.

468
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,910
Oh, god. Get a room, santas.

469
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,498
Dwight: Thank you, Santa.

470
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,916
Okay, happy holidays.

471
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,253
It's real slippery out here.

472
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,341
Oh, my god.

473
00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,843
Twelve drummers drumming.

474
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:16,067
Merry Christmas, Erin.
Take it away, boys!

475
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,694
(Rhythmic drumbeats)