1 00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:05,016 Michael: Dunder Mifflin is about to be sold, 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,676 but first an investment banker has to drop by and sign off on our branch. 3 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:12,555 And I'm pretty nervous about it, 4 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:17,435 and I'm making some cosmetic tweaks 5 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:22,106 to help create a more appealing environment. 6 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,568 Is that dishonest? Well, think of it this way. 7 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,171 When you look in the mirror and you see 8 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,755 your push-up bra and your fake eyelashes 9 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,866 and your makeup and your press-on nails, 10 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,620 the principles that I'm applying to the office 11 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,831 are the same ones that have made lady gaga a star. 12 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,791 Or any number of drag queens. 13 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,819 Hi. Dwight: Hello, Eric ward. 14 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:12,073 Welcome to dunder Mifflin. 15 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:16,369 I am computron, your answer to everything. 16 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,913 Hello. Hello. 17 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,415 I see you've met computron, our virtual helper. 18 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:24,418 I'm Michael Scott. Welcome, welcome. 19 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:28,089 Computron is just one of the many modern devices 20 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:31,133 that I have incorporated into the office. 21 00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:32,885 Watch this. Computron? Yes. 22 00:01:32,969 --> 00:01:35,179 What is the world's largest ocean? 23 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,472 Calculating. 24 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,933 Calculating. 25 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,184 Pacific! 26 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,979 Pacific ocean. Pretty cool, huh? 27 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,105 Great news, Michael, 28 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,774 we're now the official paper supplier of the NFL. 29 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,820 That is fantastic. It's good, but it's not good enough. Keep working. 30 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,613 And here's Pam. 31 00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,174 She's our international sales consultant. 32 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,199 Hello. 33 00:01:55,283 --> 00:02:01,122 Dwight: The NFL celebrated its 50th anniversary in 1972. 34 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,205 (Greeting in Spanish) 35 00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,249 (Greeting in French) 36 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,333 (Greeting in Chinese) 37 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:08,921 It might seem crazy, but since there's no one left in New York, 38 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:12,425 Michael is dunder Mifflin's highest ranking employee. 39 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,469 So, that's where we are. 40 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:16,971 Hello, Stanley. 41 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:21,851 For the record, not on board with fake Stanley. 42 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,354 Although, I get it. 43 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:28,083 I just need to check out your warehouse and then talk to your hr guy. 44 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,377 That is pretty much the only reason that I came here today. 45 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:32,296 Okay. Well, I thought I'd show you around a little bit... 46 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,863 Right... since you made the trip out. 47 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:37,074 And I got us reservations at coopers seafood. You like lobster? 48 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,260 You've had lobster before, right? 49 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,327 Yeah. 50 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,413 They make the best Maine lobster in the world. You'll love it. 51 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,582 Dwight: Mul yam in Tel Aviv is better. 52 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,002 No, computron, actually, I think coopers is the best. 53 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,211 You're going to love it. 54 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:51,464 Are you calling me wrong? 55 00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:52,715 (Sighs) Oh, my god. 56 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,259 Eric: It's called due diligence. 57 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,345 Basically, I confirm inventory, 58 00:02:57,428 --> 00:03:00,848 take a head count, see if there are any hr liabilities. 59 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:03,434 I'm a glorified fact checker. 60 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,605 Actually, I am a fact checker. 61 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,940 All right. 62 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,693 Excuse me. If you will... Ryan: Hey, Michael, 63 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,796 do you think I could get a space here? ...Follow me this way. 64 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:18,032 I will introduce you to the crack hr rep that you requested. 65 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,952 I give you Toby Flenderson. Have fun, you two. 66 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,872 Oh, we will. Have a seat. 67 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,252 Mmm. 68 00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:33,881 (Whispering) I left a copy of best American mystery stories 1999 69 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:37,718 in Toby's favorite stall. So, yes, I think I bought us some time. 70 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:42,932 So, the manager, Michael Scott 71 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:45,559 is a bit of a character. 72 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:48,270 He has more character in a single flake of his dandruff 73 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:51,899 than you have in that entire snow bank on your shoulder. 74 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,193 So, what was the question? 75 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,278 What are you doing at my desk? 76 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,406 Ignore him. He's the local lunatic. 77 00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,157 Come on, Dwight, get out of here. 78 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,992 Dwight? Who is this Dwight? 79 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,160 Oh! 80 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,413 You mean Dwight schrute, 81 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:08,749 the company's top salesman and the creator of computron. 82 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,377 I wear many hats, but the one I'm wearing currently 83 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,460 is that of gracious host. 84 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,671 (Laughing) 85 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,381 Welcome. 86 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:21,804 Sorry. Hey, Toby Flenderson. Nice to meet you. How can I help? 87 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,933 Are there any outstanding liability issues to be aware of? 88 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,059 What do you mean? 89 00:04:27,143 --> 00:04:31,313 Well, safety issues, injuries that could leave 90 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:34,483 the company open to any potential lawsuits. 91 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,112 Nothing comes to mind. 92 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,835 Darryl: Mike, get off of the lift. Please! 93 00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:40,865 Come on, now. 94 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,092 Michael: I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 95 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,701 Look, would you... look_. 96 00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:46,537 (Exclaiming) 97 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,275 We'll get somebody to clean that up. 98 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,894 We're the ones that gotta clean that up! 99 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:55,254 I feel very blessed. 100 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,338 (Grunts) 101 00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:02,386 (Exclaiming in French) 102 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,557 Drop that sucker. 103 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,018 Yeah! Bingo! 104 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,436 (Michael exclaims) 105 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,729 (Car alarm blaring) 106 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,690 Do it! Yeah! 107 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:25,242 Today, smoking is going to save lives. 108 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,996 Dwight: Run, run. Michael: Okay, okay. 109 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,748 Calm, please. 110 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,874 Oscar! 111 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,250 Stay alive, I'm getting help! 112 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,752 Pull me up! You're too heavy. 113 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,045 I only weigh 82 pounds. 114 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,171 (Cat meows) 115 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,672 Save bandit! 116 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:39,840 (Cat yowls) 117 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,468 (Exclaims) 118 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,678 Seriously, are you gonna sit in the back? 119 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,890 Yeah. It's the safest part of a car. 120 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,310 In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first. 121 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,312 (Brakes) 122 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:56,315 (Dwight breathing heavily) 123 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,110 (Yelling) 124 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,571 (Screaming) 125 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:06,951 My hair! 126 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,037 Get off! Get off me! 127 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,121 I got it! I got it! 128 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,456 Get it off! 129 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,124 (Screaming) 130 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,343 You're welcome. 131 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,431 So, the staff, are people generally happy? 132 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,100 (Laughing) 133 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,356 Happy is a funny word. 134 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,483 In what way? 135 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:40,985 You know... 136 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:45,531 You know, what does it mean to be happy? 137 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,744 Keep philosophers busy for a while. 138 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,122 So, generally? 139 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,248 Yes. 140 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,333 Generally. Generally happy. 141 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,668 Generally happy. 142 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,961 (Yelling) 143 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,045 (Groans) 144 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:02,840 (Shouting) 145 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,511 I don't know what streets we... ow! What are you doing? 146 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,275 It would be better if you were unconscious. 147 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:14,435 Try my googy googy. Try my googy googy. Try my... 148 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,563 Excuse me. Don't touch me! 149 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:18,647 (Exclaiming) 150 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,733 Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 151 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,901 Can't we all just get along? 152 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:28,198 Or have we forgotten the words of the reverend king? 153 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,953 What about non-safety issues in terms of liability? 154 00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:35,247 Sexual harassment? Anything like that? 155 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,625 Well, I don't know. 156 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,503 You don't know? 157 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:43,839 I don't know. 158 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,966 You're the head of human resources. 159 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,051 I don't know. 160 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,135 Okay. No. 161 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:53,641 Stanley? How about that hot picture you have by your desk? 162 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,768 Centerfold in the catholic schoolgirl's outfit? 163 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:59,021 I mean, it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns him on. 164 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:03,108 And I will admit, best part of my morning is staring at it. 165 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,792 But what? Are we gonna just take it away? 166 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,780 That is my daughter, she goes to catholic girls' school. 167 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,574 Michael. Come in! 168 00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:12,910 Oh, my god! 169 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,137 What are you doing? What are you doing? 170 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,441 You said, come in! No, I didn't! 171 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,247 Just, please, get out. Oh, my god! 172 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,084 What's wrong with my outfit? 173 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,920 (Stammering) You might consider pulling it down a touch. 174 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,631 Bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, 175 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,525 (all gasping) But I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? 176 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,009 Is that how it goes? 177 00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:30,344 Meredith, your boob is out. 178 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,470 Fine. 179 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,347 (All groaning) Too far, Meredith! Too far! 180 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,349 Damn it, Meredith, where are your panfies? 181 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,725 It's casual day. 182 00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:38,602 Come here, give me a kiss, come on. 183 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:41,021 Michael, come on, you don't have to worry. I'm not 184 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:44,024 gonna report you to hr. I'm not... I'm not worried! 185 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:45,988 You know what? The only thing I am worried about 186 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,445 is getting a boner. 187 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,658 I'm now going to read aloud your submitted medical conditions. 188 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,785 When you hear yours read, please raise your hand 189 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,203 to indicate that it is real. 190 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,206 If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered. 191 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,375 Number one, inverted penis. 192 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:08,716 Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered. 193 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,468 Ithoughtyour vagina was removed during your hysterectomy. 194 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:16,640 A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina. 195 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,895 Attention, everyone. Hello. 196 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:25,733 Yes, I just want you to know that, this is not my decision. 197 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,444 You can consider this my retirement from comedy. 198 00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,321 Does that include "that's what she said"? 199 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,699 Yes. 200 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,659 Wow, that is really hard. 201 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:40,038 You really think you can go all daylong? 202 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:44,668 Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so... 203 00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,796 That's what she said! 204 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,631 Michael! 205 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,550 Why did you get it so big? 206 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,177 That's what she said. 207 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,763 Does the skin look red and swollen? 208 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,306 That's what she said. 209 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,683 That's myjoke. Damn it, Dwight. 210 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,311 How about the Phyllis-Angela dispute? 211 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,562 You already did me. 212 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,123 (Mouthing) Michael: That's what she said. 213 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,273 Is there any mustard? 214 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,485 No mustard! No mustard! Just eat it! 215 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,111 Eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water 216 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:12,797 so it'll slide down your gullet more easily. 217 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:13,923 Kelly: That's what she said. 218 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,008 Oh, no, no, no, no, not that... 219 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,700 Just come on, you guys, let's do it. 220 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,584 Toby: [Don't know how I'm going to get through this. 221 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,711 I don't want to lie. 222 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,547 And I don't want to tell the truth. 223 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,553 Hey, tobes, what you doing? What you guys talking about? 224 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,847 We're just going over some stuff. 225 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,016 Stuff? I love stuff. 226 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,518 It's h r stuff. 227 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:46,396 Hr stuff? H. R. Pufnstuf. 228 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:50,400 Right up my alley. What is that? What kind of stuff is that? 229 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:53,028 It's a company evaluation form. 230 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,154 Ah! 231 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,280 We're talking about... 232 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,241 Talking about what? 233 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,117 Waste is next. 234 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,410 Waste? 235 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,372 What does that even mean? Like garbage? 236 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:04,915 No, waste of time, resources. 237 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,750 Oh! Time and resources. 238 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,033 Look, you know, in any company, 239 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,230 there's gonna be a certain degree... 240 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:14,591 No. No, no, no, no, no. Respectfully, Toby, no. 241 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,511 No. This company does not waste time or resources ever. 242 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,431 (Both exclaiming) 243 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,982 (All cheering) 244 00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:33,235 Jim: Dig deep. Dig deep. 245 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,529 (All exclaiming) 246 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,739 It's Phyllis, Phyllis by a nose. 247 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,617 Gold medal in flernenton. Flonkerton. 248 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,870 Where is my desk? 249 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,497 That is weird. 250 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,960 Happy holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas. 251 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,045 You're so pathetic. Well, I hope it was worth it, 252 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,840 because I'm going to take it apart in about five minutes. 253 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,568 I think it'll take you a little bit longer than that. 254 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:59,261 If I can skin a mule deer in less than 10 minutes, 255 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,584 I ought to be able to cut my... 256 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,266 (Grunts in frustration) 257 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,184 Damn it! Jim! 258 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:07,728 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 259 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,230 Judge is in session. What is the problem here? 260 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,065 He put my stuff in jell-o again. 261 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,483 (Pam laughing) 262 00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:17,029 (In deep voice) Bang, boom, shake, klump! 263 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:20,324 Why, hello, everybody. 264 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993 What are you doing? 265 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:24,995 (All exclaiming) 266 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,332 Question, what kind of bear is best? 267 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,542 That's a ridiculous question. 268 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:32,419 False. Black bear. 269 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,004 Well, that's debatable. 270 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,565 There are basically two schools of thought. 271 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,966 Fact, bears eat beets. 272 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,552 Bears, beets, 273 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,846 Battlestar Galactica. Bears do not... 274 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,183 What is going on? What are you doing? 275 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,354 Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! 276 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,065 Millions of families suffer every year! 277 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,359 Michael! 278 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,527 Oh, that's funny. Michael! 279 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,363 Is anyone near retirement age? 280 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,951 Michael: This is creed. 281 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,453 And he is in charge of something. 282 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,621 Right? That is correct. 283 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,289 Say hi to the kids. Hi, kids. 284 00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:10,499 Michael: Yay! 285 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,418 Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? Kids: Ew! 286 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,546 Michael: What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it! Just... no, no, no, no, no! 287 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,631 Would you cut it out? 288 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,758 Okay. Ryan, you told Toby 289 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:23,303 that creed has a distinct old man smell? 290 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,307 I know exactly what he's talking about. 291 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:30,894 I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. 292 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,772 Very nutritious, but they smell like death. 293 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,066 Hey, where's Dwight? 294 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,317 You didn't hear? 295 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:42,155 Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird. 296 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,826 I'm pretty sure none of that's real. 297 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,327 You're not real, man. 298 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:53,125 Hey. Yeah, I finally got a chance to sit down with hr. 299 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,588 Well, I think I'm gonna be here for a while. 300 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:05,178 This is a building where friends become lovers, 301 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:11,184 and lovers become sexually interactive, right? 302 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,310 Would you agree with that? 303 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,771 Michael, this is really inappropriate to talk about. 304 00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,314 That is true. 305 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,607 Mmm. 306 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,454 (Exclaims) 307 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,622 I like you. 308 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,084 But you need to access your UN-crazy side. 309 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:39,963 Darryl philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. 310 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,674 I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? 311 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,428 What kind of game is that? 312 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:50,015 I am so happy we don't have to break up now, Ryan! 313 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,143 It is the best day of my whole life! 314 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,229 When I said that I wanted to have kids, 315 00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:59,941 and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? 316 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,527 And then, when you said that you might want to have kids, 317 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,572 and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? 318 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,675 And then when you said you definitely didn't want to have kids? 319 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,950 Who had it reversed back? 320 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,161 Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! 321 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,412 I did! Jan: Okay... 322 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:17,667 You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! 323 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,628 Ryan: Kelly, I'm your boss now, okay? 324 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,791 You can't keep talking to me like I'm your boyfriend. 325 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:25,133 Oh, big strong man, fancy new whatever. 326 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,444 I don't think you ever cared about me. 327 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,594 I never cared about you? 328 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,489 Six months ago, Karen filippelli sent me an email, 329 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,181 asked me out, I said no, 330 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,984 because I was committed to our relationship. 331 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,560 Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant. 332 00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,273 This is an image 333 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:45,612 that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. 334 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,006 Whenever you come into the office, 335 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,990 I want you to think about this. 336 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,118 We don't need to. 337 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,536 Yes, we do. What? 338 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:02,712 (Grunting) 339 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,886 I did it! 340 00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,640 Thank you. Thank you. 341 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,268 Jim has got it bad for Pam. 342 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,812 Oh! Which one is Pam? 343 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,315 What? Nothing. 344 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,443 Okay. What? 345 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:27,696 I don't know. What? 346 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:29,865 Oh, my god! 347 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,825 Did you wanna tell me something? 348 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,286 You look like you want to tell me something. 349 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,347 You look like you have something really important to say 350 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,874 and you just can't for some reason. 351 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,586 Come on, you can tell me. 352 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,755 Jim, you can tell me anything. 353 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,015 You have new music? 354 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,183 Yeah. 355 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,518 Definitely. 356 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,188 (Melodic instrumental music playing) 357 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,402 (Mouthing) 358 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,740 Michael: Bring it in. Here we go. 359 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,241 (Laughing) 360 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,121 Jim: Look inside. 361 00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:24,794 Oh, my god! 362 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,426 But I bet Jim got the job. 363 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:35,680 I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified and smart. 364 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,098 Everyone loves him. 365 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,100 If he never comes back again, 366 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,602 that's okay. 367 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,562 We 're friends. 368 00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,439 We just... we never got the timing right. 369 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,149 But you know what, it's okay. 370 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,027 I'm totally fine. 371 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,421 Everything is going to be totally... 372 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,655 Pam. 373 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,822 Sorry. 374 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,825 Are you free for dinner tonight? 375 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,661 Yes. 376 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,163 All right. Then it's a date. 377 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,757 I'm sorry. What was the question? 378 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,176 Oh, my god. 379 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,306 Pam, will you marry me? 380 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:19,516 Oh, my god! 381 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,393 (All cheering) 382 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,102 Toby: Thank you so much. Kevin: Thank you. 383 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,979 Angela: Thank you. Eric: Thank you. 384 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,480 It's nice to meet you all. 385 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:08,606 Toby: Good to meet you. 386 00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:09,792 Pam: Have a great day. Thank you. 387 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,419 Dwight: Hope to see you soon. Kevin: Yeah. 388 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,653 Michael: I feel very sorry for that banker because 389 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,072 he has to evaluate what we are worth. 390 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,994 He has to decide what we're capable of. And how do you do that? 391 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:27,208 What is Jim capable of? Or Pam? Or Kevin? 392 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:31,296 (S I n g I n g) Out of paper, out of stock 393 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,674 those friendly faces around the block 394 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,801 break loose from the chains 395 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,429 that are causing you pain 396 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,599 all: (Singing) Call Michael and Stanley, Jim, Dwight, creed 397 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:46,019 call Andy and Kelly for your business paper needs 398 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,645 dunder Mifflin 399 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,314 the people person's paper people 400 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,857 dunder Mifflin 401 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,442 the people person's paper people 402 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,860 dunder Mifflin 403 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,223 the people person's paper people 404 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:58,031 Michael: I don't care if he goes and files a report 405 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,783 that says that we 're nothing special 406 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:03,995 because I think our future is very bright. 407 00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,247 We have only just begun. 408 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:09,542 Dwight: Computron experiencing emotion. 409 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:13,505 Computron, I'm going to pull your plug, okay, buddy? 410 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,132 Okay. Just_ 411 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,303 Please don't. 412 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,015 Computron wants to live. 413 00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:25,809 Shut... shut up. Shut up. 414 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,609 (Singing) Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon 415 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,945 call my man Dwight just to see what was shakin'! 416 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,489 Yo, Mike, our town is dope and pretty 417 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,740 so check out how we live 418 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,243 in the electric city! 419 00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,619 They call it Scranton! What? 420 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,247 The electric city! Scranton! What? 421 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,623 The electric city! 422 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,959 Lazy Scranton, the electric city 423 00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:53,586 they call it that 'cause of the electricity 424 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,089 the city's laid out from east to west 425 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,550 and our public parks and libraries are truly the best! 426 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,344 Call poison control if you're bit by a spider! 427 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,431 But check that it's covered by your healthcare provider! 428 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,850 Plenty of space in the parkin' lot! 429 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,561 But the little cars go in the compact spot! 430 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,439 Spot! Spot! Spot! 431 00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:13,606 Snack attack time 432 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,816 don't lose your head 433 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:18,486 we like cuginos for the tasty bread! 434 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,988 They call it Scranton! What? 435 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:22,449 The electric city! Scranton! What? 436 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,951 The electric city! Scranton! What? 437 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,495 The electric city! Scranton! What? 438 00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:30,540 The electric city! Scranton! What?