1 00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:03,671 I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately, 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:04,964 it's that time of year, 3 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,092 and according to a study done by the university of Arizona, 4 00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:09,802 they discovered that your keyboards 5 00:00:09,886 --> 00:00:12,388 have hundreds of times more bacteria 6 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,390 per square inch, than a toilet seat. 7 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,975 I heard your mama has more bacteria 8 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,202 per square inch than a toilet seat. 9 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,496 That's true. That's true. I dated her mama. And you know what? 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,521 Stop. 11 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,273 All right. 12 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:24,942 One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs 13 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,944 is to use something called the vampire cough. 14 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,696 Did you say vampire? 15 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,574 Oh, no, it's just that, if a vampire had to cough, 16 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,075 he would do it like this. 17 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:36,662 Uh-huh. Right, and ruin their cloaks? 18 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,373 Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in transylvania? 19 00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:40,458 'Cause of the euro. 20 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,377 Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease 21 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,796 are to wash your hands regularly, 22 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,548 don't come in if you're sick, 23 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,592 ah. And get your flu shot. 24 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,845 Also, I'm going to set up hand-sanitizing stations around the office. 25 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,140 No. No, no. They will cost you your life. 26 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,266 Elaborate. 27 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,991 The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. 28 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,562 They need to fight their own battles. 29 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:04,273 If sabre really cared about our well-being, 30 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,943 they would set up hand-desanitizing stations. 31 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:09,362 A simple bowl at every juncture 32 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,989 filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter. 33 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,133 Exposing yourself to germs... 34 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,158 I'm not going to do that. 35 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,494 Is the best way to make yourself stronger. 36 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,497 So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you. 37 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,667 Yes. I would welcome it. 38 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,004 You're welcome. 39 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,381 The principle is sound. 40 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,217 To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, 41 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,762 Enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. 42 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,766 I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. 43 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:42,019 Maybe they have something against living forever. 44 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,961 Jim, Pam, 45 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,047 And the precious bundle of god's best everything, 46 00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,550 I wish you both a pleasant day. 47 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:15,094 And you, too. Yes. Praise god. 48 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,178 Okay. 49 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:17,406 Pam: Cece's getting christened today. 50 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,431 Jim: Big day. 51 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,641 Everyone from work is here. 52 00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:21,785 We weren't planning on that. 53 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:22,893 Nope. 54 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,520 Top of the Sunday morning to you. 55 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,647 And a top of the day to you, too, sir. 56 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,274 I hope you brought your pipes. 57 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,501 We're about to smoke the opium of the masses. 58 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,235 Oh, yes, doobie-doobie-doo. 59 00:02:32,445 --> 00:02:34,822 I invited everyone in the office 60 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:38,200 because it's not a day for just Jim, 61 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:41,203 or Pam, or the baby, or me. 62 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,122 It is about us all. 63 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,500 And I thought we should all celebrate 64 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,628 my joy and our... All of ourjoys. 65 00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:51,964 Oh, man... 66 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,802 Andy: Does the nard dog want nard pups? Yeah. 67 00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:58,637 I want a big old litter of nard pups, 68 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,401 all jumping around and sucking on the teat. 69 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,975 Put them in a box, give them to my neighbors. 70 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,560 Yeah, I want kids. 71 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,104 For all your paper and printer needs. 72 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,815 For all your paper and printer needs. 73 00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:13,402 For all your paper and printer needs. 74 00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:16,530 Toby: Sunday church service. It's been a few years. 75 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,284 The big guy and I, we've got some catching up to do. 76 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,287 Hey. Hey. 77 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:27,708 I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over. 78 00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,377 Oh, Michael, this is just for family. 79 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:30,920 But I'm the godfather. 80 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,272 It is really funny, but, you know, 81 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,006 that can be confusing at a christening, 82 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,966 because you are not the godfather. 83 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,010 Are you talking to me? 84 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,553 Okay, your turn. 85 00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,972 Scooch, before ishootyou in the head. 86 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,808 Okay, Michael, um, 87 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:46,227 you know, I love when you do that voice, 88 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:49,105 but today, I'm so sorry, 89 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,191 I need you to tell me that you know you're not Cece's godfather. 90 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,276 Yeah. 91 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,822 I'm sorry, Michael. I need you to say it. I'm so sorry. 92 00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,283 I'm not the godfather. 93 00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:02,952 Okay. Thank you. 94 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,246 So who is the godfather? 95 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:08,082 Our friend Seth and his wife there. Yeah. 96 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,126 Okay. 97 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:14,088 Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten? 98 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,340 No, I met his wife in mommy and me. 99 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,424 They're a great couple. You should meet them later. 100 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,137 No, I have plenty of friends, so... 101 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,116 All right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show. 102 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,392 Okay. Thank you for coming, Michael. 103 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,869 Michael: [Don't even know how to say this. 104 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:32,481 But Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h. 105 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,568 And that's not true, 106 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,946 but her parents are kind of boxing me out. 107 00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,207 Good morning. All: Good morning. 108 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,292 Good morning. 109 00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:53,294 What a terrific day this is, 110 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,097 and not just because the eagles are playing. 111 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,466 You may have seen the bus out front. 112 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:01,135 Today we also say goodbye to our young adult ministry. 113 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,720 They're leaving for three months 114 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,724 to build a school for the village of quimixto in cabo corrientes, Mexico. 115 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,697 I've heard of that place. 116 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:12,563 If you go to cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from cabo corrientes. 117 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:18,736 Okay, this is... All right, this is silly. 118 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:24,450 Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. 119 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:28,078 And thank you for your prayers forjusfin. 120 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,622 We hope for a speedy recovery. 121 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,123 Thank you. 122 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:34,460 Anyone else with a prayer or a remembrance? 123 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,341 Good morning. Dwight schrute. 124 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:44,345 Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. 125 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,555 Like Justin and his disfigurement, 126 00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,224 I, too, have had a horrible year. 127 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:52,520 They say that the middle class is disappearing, 128 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,605 and with it, the soul of america. 129 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,858 So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, 130 00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:00,945 I would like to offer a 4% discount 131 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,739 on all dunder Mifflin-sabre products 132 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,534 if you buy a printer at full price. 133 00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:10,371 Christening calls to repentance, 134 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,665 to faithfulness and to discipleship. 135 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,709 We've come to celebrate these babies. 136 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,270 Somebody needs a change. 137 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,546 Right now? 138 00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,422 Well, she can't bring this up with her. 139 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,091 Okay. 140 00:06:22,675 --> 00:06:26,845 All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? 141 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,806 We're gonna take a little field trip. 142 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,308 Okay. Okay. 143 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,852 There's my girl. All right. 144 00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:37,398 Hold on one second. There we go. 145 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:40,234 What's that face for? 146 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,152 Oh, my... oh, my god. 147 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,738 Cece, no. No, no, no. Not on the dress. 148 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:45,864 Cece, stop. 149 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,336 What? What? 150 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:01,922 Honey, no. Yes. 151 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,132 No, no. 152 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,341 This is happening. 153 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,802 We have an extra outfit in the bag. 154 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512 No. There's no extra outfit in the bag. 155 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:09,972 You said you checked it. I did 156 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:11,848 say that. 157 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,518 At this time, will the families please come join me? 158 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,998 Michael: Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. 159 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:19,398 They are totally gelling. 160 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,192 It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office 161 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,069 that sells happiness. 162 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,195 And good for them. 163 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,657 That's great, because, you know, 164 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:31,702 the paper industry's not gonna last forever. 165 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,749 Minister: Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone 166 00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,668 that the halberts have been kind enough to host a reception next door 167 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,253 immediately following the service. 168 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,963 Mmm. Mmm. 169 00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:44,757 No. Wrong on both counts. 170 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,052 Okay, a, "halbert"? 171 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:51,805 And, b, I think a more appropriate statement would be, 172 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,892 "the 'halberts' are hosting an intimate reception 173 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,477 "for their invited guests." 174 00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,772 For all their generosity of spirit, 175 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,982 they password-protect their wireless? 176 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,108 Try "Jesus." 177 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,652 Opus dei. 178 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,654 Hi. Good morning. 179 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,656 Good morning. 180 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,616 Good morning. Good morning. 181 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,076 Hello. 182 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,248 How are you? Good morning. 183 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,750 Good morning. Good morning. 184 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,085 Michael: I am feeling this. 185 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,671 Call it the holy spirit or the passion of the Christ, 186 00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:25,798 I am loving these people. 187 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,177 Hi. Thanks for having us. 188 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,679 I'm Doug mcpherson, Davey's uncle. 189 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,264 Oh, well, Dave is an adorable baby. 190 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,474 Davey. 191 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:36,850 Yeah. 192 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,188 Well, this is intimate. 193 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,856 We just had to add a few more tables. 194 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,420 We weren't expecting this many people. 195 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:45,859 You don't know them all? 196 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,361 Nope. And we're gonna need 197 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,114 a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all. 198 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,533 Jesus is not your caterer. 199 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,120 But he should be your caterer, 'cause you're a little angel. 200 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,539 Why didn't your parents get you a caterer? 201 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,374 'Cause they don't think. 202 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,960 Mmm! Don't listen to her. 203 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,813 She's just jealous 'cause she doesn't get to come home 204 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,839 to someone as cute as you. 205 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,608 You think she is jealous about having a baby? 206 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,050 I don't know. I'm just hungry. 207 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,934 Okay, well, you know what, everybody's hungry. 208 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,973 Sorry. I think I'm just hungry. 209 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,976 Oh, afieryou oh, no, afleryou 210 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,936 no, I insist. After me. 211 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,646 I'm gonna use that one. 212 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,648 Have a good lunch. Thank you. You, too. 213 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,067 This is not the meal I was promised. 214 00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:29,903 I'm going to have no energy for the rest of the day. 215 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:34,032 I canceled my plans to come to this thing and they repay me with this? 216 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,326 You know what, guys? Let's just enjoy lunch. 217 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,328 With what? How? 218 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,664 Sometimes, Michael. 219 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,708 Sometimes. 220 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,252 Excuse me, everyone, on behalf of the youth ministry 221 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,837 that's leaving for Mexico, 222 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,714 I just wanted to thank our hosts 223 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:52,217 and tell you about those good-looking guys and gals over there. 224 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,139 Teach for america girls are way hotter, 225 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:58,599 but they're nuts. 226 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,268 This is Jessica Ortega. 227 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,937 I met her when she and I were both seven years old, 228 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:07,316 when my parents took me to quimixto on a service trip. 229 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,485 Who takes a kid to Mexico? 230 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,671 I would run to Mexico if that's where the sandwiches are. 231 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,695 Shh! 232 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:16,283 Right now, Jessica's children have to walk 12 miles 233 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,701 to a school with dirt floors. 234 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,954 It's gonna be three months of hard work, 235 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:24,875 and when we're done, we'll practically be quimixtanos. 236 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,294 Greg, hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. 237 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,379 You want to know my 11th commandment? 238 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,507 I will not be undersold. 239 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,633 Dwight. Dwight, hey. 240 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:35,385 I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kind of discounts. 241 00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:36,678 Are you kidding me? Stop it. 242 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,263 I'll call you back. 243 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,474 My parents explained it to me this way. 244 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,769 You wouldn't hesitate to save a family member from a burning building, 245 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,230 but what if the earth was your building 246 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,941 and all the people on it were your family? 247 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:52,194 What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hair brush? 248 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,029 Michael: Shh! Thank you. 249 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,073 Or should I say, gracias. 250 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,251 Cece went down. 251 00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:10,212 What was this? You're out of it. 252 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,130 Scones. I didn't get one. 253 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,534 Well, if it makes you feel better, I didn't get one either. 254 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,219 Is it just the one jug of apple cider? 255 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,224 Who the heck was that? 256 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,017 I think that was sconesy cider, 257 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,144 noted baptism reception critic. 258 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,106 We need more food. 259 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,607 I'll go get some subs and sodas. 260 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,067 All right. 261 00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,277 And cider. 262 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,490 Look at that. Look at that. That's fun. 263 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,660 We need to do stuff together outside of work. 264 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:46,248 Let's go help Africa. Let's go build an airport. 265 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,542 We'll start small. We'll have a carwash. 266 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,752 We'll send some cheerleaders to regionals. 267 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,005 You could feed the hungry. Us. 268 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,732 Oscar: Why do we have to do something together? 269 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,466 I volunteer at a clinic on my own time. 270 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,176 Yeah, well, that's just a pick-up scene. 271 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,900 Michael: Okay, we don't have to volunteer. 272 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,447 But I think we should hang out more together. 273 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,224 We are hanging out. Right now. 274 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,809 You want some more of this? 275 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,520 Look at these people. These are church-going people. 276 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,398 And they know how to party. 277 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,858 Church isn't a party, Michael. 278 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,621 Well, it's... it's... Welcome to the party. 279 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,862 Everybody have their kool-aid? No. 280 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,585 Okay, you know what? That's inappropriate. 281 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:19,632 What is wrong with you guys? 282 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,741 What is wrong with you? 283 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,743 What is so horrible about wanting to 284 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,202 get together and do something nice? 285 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,079 Why did you guys even come today? 286 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,364 What's so great aboutyourhves 287 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,142 that you think you're better than everybody else? 288 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,834 That you can make fun of everybody else? 289 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,961 You're mean. You're mean girls, 290 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,547 like the movie mean girls. 291 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,091 And Kevin and Stanley, 292 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,677 if you don't stop worrying so much 293 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,721 about what you're gonna put in your gullet, 294 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,265 you're gonna die in about a month. 295 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:52,022 Oh, hey, meemaw, would you watch Cece for a second? 296 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:55,150 Don't worry. She's asleep. I'm just gonna track down some more chairs. 297 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,526 Fine. 298 00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,030 Fine, I guess I'll watch Suzanne's purse and your baby. 299 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,631 Bye. Good luck. 300 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,676 Good luck to you. Bye. 301 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,594 Do good. Do good. 302 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,012 Bye. Have fun. 303 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,431 We're proud of you. 304 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,901 Bye. Okay. 305 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,239 Hey. Hey. Is this the bus to Mexico? 306 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,782 All: Yeah! 307 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:44,950 I'll take a shirt. 308 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,076 Are you coming? 309 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,328 Ifyouwlhaverne, yes. Heck, yes. 310 00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:51,081 Really? 311 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,375 Thank you. All right. 312 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,087 Michael? Get off the bus. 313 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,672 No, I'm not. I'm staying on the bus. 314 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,382 I'm already on the bus. I'm going. 315 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,092 Michael, this is irresponsible. 316 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,593 It is not irresponsible! 317 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:07,180 I have never been more confident about a decision in my life. 318 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,016 I agree. I think it's superb. 319 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,434 Well, you have a job to do. Okay? 320 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,686 There is no off-season when it comes to printer sales. 321 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,769 You know what? My job will be here when I get back. 322 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,773 Michael, you can't go to Mexico. 323 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,017 You don't have your passport. 324 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,693 You don't need one to get in. 325 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,112 Plus, we can just have it sent to him down in Mexico. 326 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:23,238 Hey, right? 327 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:26,041 Michael, what am I supposed to tell my clients if they ask about you? 328 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,453 Tell them that I died and I turned into an angel, 329 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:32,039 and when they feel a breeze 330 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,666 in a room with all the windows closed 331 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,461 or that chill on the back of their neck, 332 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,921 that is just me watching over them. 333 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,299 Okay, but what about the bigger corporate accounts? 334 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,526 Tell them that I'm in a meeting. 335 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,218 Michael, I am just about to close a sale. 336 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,595 Can I authorize a 15% discount? 337 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:47,679 No, you may not. 338 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:49,865 Erin: I think it's really cool, Michael. 339 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,892 I wish I had a job that I could just leave. 340 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,268 Thank you. 341 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,149 Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I'm coming! 342 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:03,111 I will not stand idly by while these Mexican villagers are sick. 343 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,863 We're actually building them a school. 344 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:05,946 Whatever. 345 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:06,990 They need to learn. 346 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,617 I won't... I won't stand for it. 347 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,331 See you in a few months. 348 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,251 If the whole world were like you guys, 349 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,087 we wouldn't have so many problems. 350 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,005 Hmm, that's not gonna happen. 351 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,507 We're one in a million. 352 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,674 I know. 353 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,594 Nobody I know would leave their jobs and friends and families 354 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,513 to do manual labor for three months. 355 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:33,308 Well, you know what? Everybody thinks that I am crazy, 356 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:37,646 and that tells me that I am the sanest person I know. So... 357 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:42,192 Just a heads up. Probably gonna be borrowing a few things. 358 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,611 Gonna need a contact lens case, 359 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,197 some sunscreen, some sandals... 360 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,414 Why you always got to be so mean to me? 361 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,922 Uh, meemaw, where's Cece? 362 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:06,550 I don't know. I lost the purse, too. 363 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,931 Goodbye, lackawanna county. 364 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,350 How long till we get to Mexico? 365 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,269 Well, two days minus... 366 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,396 How long we've been on the road, 45 minutes? 367 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,233 So, like, two days basically. Maybe more. 368 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,544 What are we building down there again? 369 00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:27,612 Like, a hospital? A school for Mexicans? What? 370 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,115 I don't know, I thought it was like a gymnasium or... 371 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,159 Why aren't they building it themselves? 372 00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,368 They don't know how. 373 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,911 Do we know how? I don't know how. 374 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,289 You know how? Well, Carla knows. 375 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,082 Carla knows. 376 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,271 I feel like there were so many more people on this bus. 377 00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:46,047 There were, like, 200, 300 people before. 378 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,925 Hey, Carla? 379 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:51,595 Cada? 380 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,097 Hi. What are you doing? 381 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,765 Mmm, trying to sleep. 382 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,689 What is happening? 383 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,609 Oh, god, what is happening? 384 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,197 Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese? 385 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,534 Oh, god, you know what? 386 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,870 I am gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday. 387 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,830 And the Christmas party. And cinco de Mayo. 388 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:20,790 Nah. No, we'll be back before that. 389 00:17:20,916 --> 00:17:23,877 No, we... you know how these things go. 390 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,546 Construction projects, they say three months, 391 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:30,091 and then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started. 392 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,302 Now we're those lazy bums. 393 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,640 I gotta get off this bus. 394 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,685 Hey, guys, has anybody seen the baby? 395 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,771 Here's her carrier, but no Cece. 396 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,357 Jim, Jim, I want to give a toast. 397 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,626 Where's the little girl of honor? 398 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,710 I don't know, dad. I don't know. 399 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:48,902 I don't mean to bug, 400 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,296 but do you know when those subs are due into port? 401 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,464 I got a hungry bunch of McPhersons over there. 402 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,990 I don't know. Hey, have you seen my baby? 403 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,594 I think maybe some blonde lady had her. 404 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,452 A small blonde woman? Smaller than me. 405 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,663 Everyone. Everyone, can I just have your attention? 406 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414 Has anyone seen a small... 407 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,378 Stop that tiny, blonde woman! She stole my baby! 408 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,253 What are you doing? 409 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,337 Give me the baby. 410 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,214 What? Kevin! 411 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,968 Hi, honey. I was just changing the baby. 412 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,971 Hi. Hi. All right. 413 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,931 Travel safe, Angela. 414 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,849 Did you think I stole your baby? 415 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,017 What's that? 416 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,187 Oh, yeah, back then I did. Just now. 417 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:27,065 So don't, because I've got my eye on you. 418 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,901 Look at these scones, Jim. 419 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,236 Give me that! 420 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:32,862 Thousands of them. 421 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,491 What kind of a person steals scones from a baby? 422 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,202 Someone put them in my bag. 423 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,204 So that was lunch, eh? 424 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,125 Mcpherson troop, let's haul out. Rendezvous at friendly's. 425 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,128 Did you lose Cece? 426 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,212 Yeah. 427 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,507 Yeah, a little bit. I did. 428 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,218 Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something? 429 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,636 I can make myself cry. 430 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,013 Do that. Do it. 431 00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:00,890 Should I... I got it. I got it. 432 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:05,020 Hey, I saw a sign for a scenic overlook coming up. 433 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,521 Really love to check out the view. 434 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,106 Can't stop. We're on a schedule. 435 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,984 Well, there's a nice bistro coming up. 436 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,028 We could pick up some paninis for the road. 437 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,779 Maybe we'll stop in Tennessee. 438 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,156 It's unsafe to talk to a driver. 439 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,784 Okay, driver, driver, if you're not gonna stop this bus, 440 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,870 then I'm going to stop it for you. 441 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:24,831 Okay? Hang on. 442 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,418 Stopping in Tennessee. 443 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,754 Hey, is there a problem, you guys? 444 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,964 Yeah, just get him to stop the bus, please. 445 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,884 Just make him stop the freaking bus! 446 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,052 Stop the bus, okay? 447 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,178 Are you okay, sir? 448 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,429 I didn't sign up for this. 449 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,182 You guys are young, that's great. 450 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,100 You want to give back to society. 451 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,518 I've done that. 452 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,728 I need to take. 453 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,813 You have plenty left to give. You're doing... 454 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:49,898 Blah-di-blah! 455 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,959 It doesn't matter. We could go back and forth all day. 456 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,693 It's not gonna solve anything. 457 00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,088 If we went to Mexico, we'd probably screw everything up anyway. 458 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,948 Do you want that for little Jessica? No, you don't. 459 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,075 And the answer is clear. 460 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,160 Stop the bus. Okay? Stop the bus! 461 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,995 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 462 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,830 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 463 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,123 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 464 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,334 Okay, stop the dang bus. 465 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,921 Okay, well, a pleasure. 466 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,215 Go save the world. 467 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,425 We'll keep an eye on america for you. 468 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,474 Wait for me! 469 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,607 Don't say anything to my parents. 470 00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,663 Get in quick. 471 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,456 Why quick? So it's faster. 472 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,253 Do you guys want me to take you home or go back to the church? 473 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,522 Is anyone still at the church? 474 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:57,048 No. Actually, most of them went to go see a movie. 475 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,383 What? Shut up. 476 00:20:58,466 --> 00:20:59,467 Yeah. 477 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,262 Kevin suggested it, and then they all went in Meredith's minivan. 478 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:05,515 It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies. 479 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,308 I bet, you guys... 480 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,726 Can I come? 481 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,440 Oh! Lake wobegon is on. 482 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,959 Do you guys... Are you cool with that? 483 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,359 Man on radio: Banana bread, but, 484 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,653 Fred northquest had no appetite. 485 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,822 He was thinking about his pair of new boots. 486 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:24,826 It'd been 10 years after all, and, as he told Mrs. Northquest, 487 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:28,705 it would take two years to get comfortable with the new boots.