1
00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:04,882
Sorry, mate. (In English
accent) I'm sorry, mate.

2
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,966
Excuse me, mate.
(Laughs) What are you...

3
00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:08,110
What are you doing? Enghsh?

4
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:09,945
If you're taking the Mickey,
you picked on the wrong person.

5
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,738
Let me tell you that. No,
I'm not picking on you at all.

6
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,365
You're English, correct?
Yeah, big time, yeah.

7
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,807
I'm working on
an English character.

8
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,852
Would you mind... it's
called Reginald poofter.

9
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,187
(Laughs) Oh.

10
00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,522
David Brent, my
liege. How are you?

11
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:23,232
Michael Scott. Oh, bloody hell.

12
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:26,068
I do characters as well.
I got a Chinese fella.

13
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,154
Not politically correct,
but he's called holy...

14
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,031
That's what it sounds
like. (Both laughing)

15
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,991
"Herro! Herro!" I do ping.

16
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,927
"Herro. I'm ping." You
can't do that these days.

17
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:34,994
You can't. I'm ping! No.

18
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,580
No, no. And people
don't understand

19
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:41,876
that it has nothing to do with
making fun of a different nationality.

20
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,587
No, no, no.
No, comedy is a place

21
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,548
where the mind goes
to tickle itself.

22
00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:49,383
That's what she said. (Laughs)

23
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,054
(Groans)

24
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,972
That's good.
Pleasure to meet you.

25
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,536
Where are you working?
Dunder Mifflin.

26
00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,476
Any jobs going?
No, not right now.

27
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,685
Just let me know. All right.

28
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,812
See you around.

29
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,314
Bye, bye.

30
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,775
What a nice guy.

31
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,968
Your first student is
here, Mr. Bernard.

32
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:36,097
That's actually "master
of ceremonies" Bernard.

33
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,598
Lastyean I went to a seminar

34
00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:39,159
called "the 10 secrets
of real estate."

35
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:42,520
Turns out it was just a ploy
to sell me timeshares in Idaho.

36
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,773
Cut to, you know, I'm
spending a weekend in Boise,

37
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,650
terrible time, super lonely.

38
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,026
But I get to thinking,

39
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:53,447
maybe I should put on my
own seminar to lure clients.

40
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:03,291
Hello, I am here for the
small business seminar.

41
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,710
Michael? Nein, I'm Greek!

42
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,211
My name is mykonos.

43
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,379
Ooh.

44
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,672
(Laughs)

45
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,549
Wait, Michael?

46
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:12,925
Michael? Okay.

47
00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:15,052
I am the plant.

48
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,762
Every great seminar has one.

49
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,365
My job is to make
the speaker look good,

50
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:22,184
and I do this through the
techniques of leading questions

51
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:25,021
and laughing at all jokes.

52
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:28,149
And the character, mykonos,
is just a little added flavor.

53
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:32,903
Mykonos is loosely based on
another character I do, spiros,

54
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,531
who is more about the ladies.

55
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,658
Thank you so much, tuna Turner.

56
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,201
You are simply the best.

57
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,221
(Laughs) Listen, this
isn't a favor, all right?

58
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,621
This is a good idea. We all win.

59
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:43,705
Go higher. All right.

60
00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,833
I get super flexible
when I'm nervous.

61
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:46,917
Wow. (Grunting)

62
00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:49,896
(Whispering) Stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.

63
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,924
Hey, Andy, I'm really,
really sorry to do this to you,

64
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,634
but I have a meeting today

65
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,511
that I totally forgot,

66
00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,035
so I can't be a part
of this seminar.

67
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,222
No! What?

68
00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:03,035
You can't do that. You are
a critical part of this seminar.

69
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:04,578
You're the charming
warm-up guy. I know.

70
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,937
If the seminar was a meal,
you'd be the amuse-bouche.

71
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,750
You signal the flavors of the whole
night. I'm really sorry. I can't do it.

72
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:10,775
You can't. You can't.

73
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,610
I can't have this go badly.

74
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,736
I'm a terrible salesman,

75
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,530
and I haven't been making
very many sales lately, or ever.

76
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:18,574
This is my only idea on
how to turn things around.

77
00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,451
If it goes badly,
I might lose my job,

78
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,329
which would suck, because this is
the only job I've ever been good at.

79
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,707
Will you let me know when
this whole seminar thing's over?

80
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,793
What's going on?
Do you know that guy?

81
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,933
I just have a meeting,
outside the office.

82
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,463
Hey.

83
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,383
How are the marks?

84
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,176
What are some of your
small business ideas?

85
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:40,638
I was thinking we could buy up a
bunch of abandoned mineshafts.

86
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,181
All: (Exclaiming)

87
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,016
That's great. There's a big,

88
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,577
big future in that. Woman:
A lot of mines in Scranton.

89
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,852
Dwight: Um, what about you?

90
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:48,687
Uh, medncams. Uh-huh.

91
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,898
My company will act
as an inter-medium

92
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,900
for, like, 0.2 cents
off every transaction.

93
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:53,983
Wow!

94
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,087
Or something with cell phones,

95
00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:58,614
like, every time you make a
phone call, I'd make 0.2 cents.

96
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,201
Or anything. Like, any online
shopping, I get 0.2 cents basically.

97
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,494
Yeah. Right. Okay?

98
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,578
Okay.

99
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,081
You promised us whales.
These are worms.

100
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,750
They're not worms, Dwight, okay?

101
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,086
They're just people
with tiny businesses.

102
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,672
They're baby whales,
which is even cuter. I'm out.

103
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,424
Stanley, you're
supposed to close.

104
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,508
I'm out, too.

105
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,843
What?

106
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,344
I already lost Jim.

107
00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:22,072
Salesmen are supposed
to help each other out.

108
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,222
We're supposed to be a team.

109
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,306
We're no more a team

110
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,768
than the people staying in
the same hotel are a team.

111
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,496
You know what
might be kind of fun?

112
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,606
I was thinking, you know,
Andy's having a seminar today?

113
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,650
What if we went in
as a Greek couple?

114
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,986
Mykonos and... oh, I
don't know, Michael.

115
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,779
Okay. I'm not
feeling up to that.

116
00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:40,823
Michael: Holly broke
up with a.J. Last week,

117
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:45,119
which is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.

118
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,913
To Holly, it's been the
worst week of her life,

119
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:52,126
and I know for a fact that there
was a week for her in high school

120
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:56,046
when she got mono
and her first period ever.

121
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,757
Too much information?
That's what I thought.

122
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,386
But you know what?
Here I am using it.

123
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:07,558
If you change your mind,
why don't you talk to mykonos?

124
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,394
Is mykonos Greek?
He sounds Italian.

125
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,771
Ugh. You're the fifth person
to tell me that today.

126
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,649
Maybe mykonos ran away
to join the Italian circus.

127
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,818
Okay, yeah, like
a character history.

128
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:19,945
Good. Tom Hanks does that.

129
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,198
(Exclaims softly) Yeah.

130
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,036
Is "jlp" a word?

131
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:30,581
"Jelp?" j-e-I-p? No, j-I-p.

132
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,917
Like, "I jlp... I jlp you!"

133
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,252
I don't think that's a word.

134
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,046
I'm playing scrabble with Gabe,

135
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,173
and I've never won a game.

136
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:43,010
The winner gets to pick the movie
we watch. I have won no games.

137
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,514
So far I've seen the shining,

138
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,808
Rosemary's baby, the ring.

139
00:05:50,643 --> 00:05:52,436
Not really my thing.

140
00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:55,856
Although, I... I do like the
early parts of the movies

141
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,776
where they have a perfect
family and everything.

142
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,110
You want some help?

143
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:01,987
Really?

144
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,072
Mmm-hmm.

145
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,490
Yes.

146
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:08,953
K-a. "Ka?" What does "ka" mean?

147
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:12,790
It means you're playing someone
who's going to destroy you.

148
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:14,833
Why did you play "moo?"

149
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,377
Because I'm playing to win.

150
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,838
I'm playing "moo," I'm playing
"milk," whatever it takes.

151
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,716
Okay, but look, you
could have hit "mood."

152
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,386
Would have played
a... a triple word. Ah.

153
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,097
Like the cow mood yesterday.

154
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,223
God.

155
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,474
Or moon.

156
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,685
The cowjumped over the moon.

157
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,019
She's stuck on that one thing.

158
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,122
You know it doesn't have
to just be cow stuff, right?

159
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:40,651
Kevin, Jim dropped out of
my seminar, and I'm just...

160
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,296
I was wondering if you could replace
him as my charming warm-up guy.

161
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,031
Andy, I'm no Jim. I'm...

162
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:49,076
The only way that I'm
Jim is in the movie version

163
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:53,581
when Jim sees what his future
would be like if he never met Pam.

164
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:57,626
Hey, that's crazy talk.
I think you're great.

165
00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,671
Then I won't let you down.

166
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,131
Pink. Indigo.

167
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,383
Hi, Ryan, you went to
business school, right?

168
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,467
Yeah. I need somebody

169
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:06,987
to talk to this
seminar about business.

170
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,762
And? (Stammers) Can you do it?

171
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:09,846
(Exhales) Okay.

172
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:13,267
(Stammers) I don't... I don't like
committing to things just like that.

173
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,351
So, no?

174
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,563
No, I don't like committing
to not doing things, either.

175
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,065
That's just as big a
commitment. Oh, baby.

176
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,151
What do I put you
down for, bro hombre?

177
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,569
Yes.

178
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,838
All right! Yes, I'll do it.

179
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,114
Okay, thank you so much.
It's gonna be awesome.

180
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,907
And if I flake, I flake. What?

181
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,452
Kevin, you open it up.

182
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,954
Ryan, you come in with
your small biz expertise, right?

183
00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:37,416
And then creed, guest
speaker extraordinaire.

184
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:42,504
And then I come in and just
close all the sales and stuff.

185
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:44,590
Okay, here we go.

186
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,300
One, two, three!

187
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,843
Creed! (Exclaims) Team!

188
00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,683
Welcome everybody.
Awesome to see you guys.

189
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,811
My name's Andy Bernard, but
you can call me "the nard dog."

190
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,855
Hi, nard dog. I'm lu peachem.

191
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,357
Let's get things
started, shall we?

192
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,026
You guys ready to hear from the
dunder Mifflin business experts?

193
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,255
Good. Well, as you can
see on your program,

194
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:10,157
first up is a speech called,
"don't just dream it, do it."

195
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,411
Yes! Please give a big
hand to Mr. Kevin Malone.

196
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,705
(Rock music playing)

197
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,430
Four, five.

198
00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:49,446
Yes!

199
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,535
There are some people
who have charm

200
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,995
and some people who don't.

201
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,956
Guess which type I am.

202
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:01,500
Charm type.

203
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:06,630
(Panting) Dream big. Right?

204
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:10,259
So, what I want you to do

205
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,929
(breathlessly) Is dream
the biggest that you can.

206
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,640
(Coughing)

207
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,313
And then double it!

208
00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:34,742
Are you okay? No. Yes!

209
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,285
Here. Mmm-hmm.

210
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,078
I'm fine.

211
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:40,998
Okay, from here now.

212
00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:44,001
The first lesson that
I'm gonna teach you,

213
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:47,546
right, is about finding success.

214
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:51,258
And the key to finding
success is to picture a winner.

215
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,635
(Kevin continues coughing)

216
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,637
(Retching)

217
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:56,722
(Vomiting)

218
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:07,274
Okay, so then, what are
you picturing right now,

219
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,859
right this second?

220
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,946
'Cause the universe
is yours, people.

221
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,073
Get out of the way.

222
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:25,250
I'm really excited to introduce
you guys to Ryan Howard.

223
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,628
He has achieved a
great deal in the last...

224
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,505
But perhaps no
achievement is greater

225
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:32,132
than his on-again,
off-again girlfriend.

226
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,383
What are you...

227
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:34,802
Who am I?

228
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:37,930
I'm Kelly kapoor,
the business bitch.

229
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,640
It is important
to brand yourself,

230
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,475
so I have a couple
of things in the works.

231
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,602
The business bitch,
the diet bitch,

232
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,896
the shopping bitch,
the etiquette bitch.

233
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:49,441
I could sit here, and I could tell
you the 10 secrets of business,

234
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:50,818
and you would have a great time,

235
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,611
and you would learn a lot.

236
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:53,737
But who better to tell you

237
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:58,367
than the Yale university
adjunct professor in management,

238
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,329
professor Scott Powell,
who I have on my BlackBerry.

239
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,166
(Dial tone) It's ringing.

240
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,002
Man: Hey, Kelly kapoor,

241
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,046
what a delicious surprise.

242
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,758
(Giggles) Professor Powell,
you are on speakerphone.

243
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,344
Uh, why?

244
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,930
Do you think you could tell
us the 10 secrets of business?

245
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,850
Um, there aren't
really 10 secrets.

246
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,893
Come on, Scott, please. It's me.

247
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,521
Uh, all right. Well,

248
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,775
(exhales) Uh, I guess
know your market would be key.

249
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,945
Practice fiscal discipline.

250
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,407
That brilliant little bitch.

251
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,285
A little treat for
our old friend, Gabe.

252
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,287
Put that "q" right there.

253
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:44,913
Wait. Why?

254
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,123
Put the "q" there, sweetie.

255
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,176
I think there's better...
Put the "q" there!

256
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,128
(Mobile phone beeps)

257
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,296
(Exclaims)

258
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,132
Sorry I yelled.

259
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,776
You could have just told
us what you were thinking.

260
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,844
There's no theater
in that. (Laughs)

261
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,138
There's no yelling
in that, either. Well...

262
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,723
What do you do
in your free time?

263
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,474
Practice Olympics.

264
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,393
Do you like movies?

265
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:10,022
I like the musical grease,

266
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,190
or as we call it, "home."

267
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,552
We have to try this
out on somebody.

268
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,821
(Both laughing)

269
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:19,573
Hello.

270
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:20,925
Look, you want
to order something?

271
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,952
She will have a greekaccino.

272
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,163
I don't know what that is.

273
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:32,169
It's a very strong coffee
with milk from a goat.

274
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,838
(Laughs) I can't beheveit

275
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:38,216
it's a miracle. She can talk.

276
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,218
No more brain damage.

277
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,095
No more brain damage!

278
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,430
(Holly sighs)

279
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,141
I don't know.

280
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:51,563
Ladies and gentlemen, our special
guest speaker will provoke you.

281
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,523
He will inspire you.

282
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,817
He is...

283
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,111
Creed Bratton.

284
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,533
Two eyes, two ears,

285
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,535
a chin, a mouth,

286
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:08,789
ten fingers, two nipples,

287
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,000
a butt, two kneecaps, a penis.

288
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,296
Ihavejust described to
you the Loch Ness monster.

289
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,883
And the reward for its capture?

290
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,719
All the riches in Scotland.

291
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,098
So I have one question,
why are you here?

292
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,771
Okay! All right,
ladies and gentlemen,

293
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:36,316
it is now time for
the rarest of things,

294
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,484
an actual free lunch.

295
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,629
There's sandwiches in the
back. Certainly help yourselves.

296
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,988
We'll meet back up in an hour.

297
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,407
I picked out our movie.
It's called suspiria.

298
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,825
It pushes all the boundaries.

299
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,995
All your preconceived notions about
what horror can be, come crashing down.

300
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,538
When iwin,

301
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:51,498
we're gonna watch wall-e,

302
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:55,168
where all the boundaries
of color are pushed.

303
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:58,338
Gabe: It is hard to explain
why Erin is doing so well today.

304
00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:01,049
The only thing I can
think is Erin is living out

305
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:04,094
some slumdog millionaire
scenano,

306
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:08,306
where every word she's playing
has a connection to her orphan past.

307
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,102
It's possible.

308
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,275
So what's your crazy
business pipe dream?

309
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,527
Well, I started my own
golf supply company.

310
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,530
Really? It's taken off
faster than I expected,

311
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,408
so I came here to learn about
creating manageable growth.

312
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,038
Phyms?

313
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,957
Some of these
people are for real.

314
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,878
Hey, friend. How's it going?

315
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,796
Oh, you know what?
Let me steep that for you.

316
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,967
Thank you. Hey, you know what?

317
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,969
Good news. We're back in.

318
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,263
Let's go sell some
paper, buddy. Huh?

319
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,514
Really?

320
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:50,599
(Darryl clears throat)

321
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,977
Excuse me. I got it. I got it.

322
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,147
Hey, do you need a lozenge?

323
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,607
They're a bunch ofjackals.

324
00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,733
What?

325
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,902
They left you in the lurch,

326
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:05,572
and if they want to jump in,
it means you're almost there.

327
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,782
You did this.

328
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,117
Bring it home.

329
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,878
Let me tell you what you
can do with your offer to help.

330
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,005
You can table it and
offer it up another time.

331
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,007
Just know that I really
appreciate the gesture.

332
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,761
Hi. Hope you enjoyed your lunch.

333
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,346
Welcome back.

334
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,724
Ooh, well, hello.

335
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,310
Welcome to the seminar.

336
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,937
Hey, man. What's going on?

337
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,300
(Whispers) You're gonna blow it.

338
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:41,399
Maybe. Only maybe.

339
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,279
We got it.

340
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,447
Wow, we got it.

341
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,032
(All laughing)

342
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,744
Oscar, wait. I think the victory
would be more meaningful

343
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:55,288
if Erin puts the
last word in herself.

344
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,543
Yes, Pam. Yes, most definitely.

345
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,752
Yes. (Laughs) Yes.

346
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,212
(Exclaims) No.

347
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,296
(All laugh again)

348
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:09,469
Although I must say, I will
have apoplexy ifyoulose.

349
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,473
Do you understand?
Apoplexy is what I will have.

350
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,976
Apoplexy. Yes.

351
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,769
Got it.

352
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,355
(Gam e ove r to n e)

353
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,439
(Exhales)

354
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,108
Oh, Oscar.

355
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,401
Oscar?

356
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,154
I played "ape."

357
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,993
I just want to make a point
to that last caller. I disagree.

358
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,679
I don't think it is the
running game at all.

359
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,497
I think we do have to make a
few moves in this off-season.

360
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:38,665
Wow!

361
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,834
What a day, right?

362
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,878
Guess you guys are
probably ready to go.

363
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,088
And you got my
business card, so...

364
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,425
(Exclaiming) You know,
I like you.

365
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,344
I'm going to give you
my secret gyro recipe.

366
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,556
Come out here, since it's
a secret, and I'll tell you.

367
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,268
All right, you have
to close right now.

368
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,728
Yeah, I'm getting to it.

369
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,997
No, you're not.
You're getting past it.

370
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,415
You have to close.
Do it. You can do it.

371
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:03,440
Yeah, yeah.

372
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,816
Andy, what's the problem?

373
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,115
(Stammers) This is hard
for me. I'm a nice guy.

374
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,571
You know, Kelly
and creed, Kevin,

375
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,198
they believe in you.

376
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,033
Don't let them down.

377
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,869
Don't let yourself down, Andy.

378
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:19,372
I'm gonna go back in. I'm
going to stall them for a little bit.

379
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,816
I want you to get your head
together, and then come back in.

380
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,251
I want you to close.

381
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,422
Michael: What is taking that
guy so long?

382
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,133
Psst!

383
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,507
(Whispers) You think this
thing's gonna go much longer?

384
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:38,993
I don't know.
They're still in there.

385
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,061
(Sighs) Goodbye. Stop.

386
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:43,396
Out with it.

387
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:45,023
Here's the story.

388
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:49,194
(Sighs) That guy in there is
Jim's childhood friend, Tom.

389
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,570
Tom witashkin.

390
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:52,155
One of my best
buddies, actually.

391
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,241
And when they were
both in the third grade,

392
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,243
Jim was placed in the
top reading group.

393
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,370
Jim: I was blue group,
so I was second from the top.

394
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,830
Pam: And Tom...
Was in green group.

395
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,540
And Jim's mom suggested

396
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:06,628
that Jim spend time hanging
with the kids in his reading group,

397
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,814
because she thought that
they would be a good influence.

398
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,341
And that's what
I told him. Right.

399
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,927
But how'd you say it?

400
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,098
"My mom thinks you're
too dumb to hang out with."

401
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,268
Okay, who would like to purchase

402
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,354
this small business
package from me right now?

403
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,732
Yes, we got one.

404
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,819
Okay, the snowball is rolling.

405
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,195
Who else?

406
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,116
You can put it off
for a couple of days,

407
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,326
but I guarantee you,

408
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:42,080
eventually you're gonna
realize you need this.

409
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,834
So the only thing that's
gonna be different

410
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,003
is you'll be a couple
of days behind

411
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:51,631
where you would be if you
bought this from me right now.

412
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,427
So who's gonna
buy one right now?

413
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,680
I'll take one. Yes! Awesome!

414
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,682
All right, anyone else?

415
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,895
Sold! Anybody else?

416
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,605
Yes! All right!

417
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,733
Yeah, bitch. Andy: Good choice.

418
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,110
The rest of you are dead to me.

419
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:14,029
You made the stupidest
decisions of your life.

420
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,739
(Softly) No, no, no.

421
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,157
But it was a pleasure
meeting you,

422
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,118
and you've got my information,
so feel free to call anytime.

423
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,622
(Kelly whooping)

424
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:27,268
Hey, you think it's coo I if I grab a
soda? Yeah. (Clears throat)

425
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,918
Yep, absolutely, go ahead.

426
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,170
Hey.

427
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,214
Hey. Hey. (Laughs)

428
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,008
How's it going?
Pretty good. Good.

429
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,594
It's been a while.
It has been, yeah.

430
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,220
So you work here, huh?

431
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,347
Sales.

432
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,350
Must be a front for some
kind of famous laboratory.

433
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,434
(Laughs)

434
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,144
'Cause you're so smart.

435
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,938
Oh, man. You remember that, huh?

436
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,107
Barely. I'm so dumb,

437
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,918
you know, stuff goes
in, stuff goes out.

438
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,695
Not like you probably remember
every paper sale you ever made.

439
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,697
Paper salesman genius.

440
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:01,743
All right, good catch-up.

441
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,286
Yeah. Seeyou.

442
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,246
Where's your jetpack,
Zuckerberg?

443
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,625
Andy.

444
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,128
I didn't think
you had it in you.

445
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,880
Well, I guess when
you looked in me,

446
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:17,467
you forgot about my balls.
They're on the outside.

447
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:19,969
Don't know how you missed 'em.

448
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,555
Wonderful seminar!

449
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,807
Almost as good

450
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,643
as the day when we first met.

451
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,521
You are the love of my life.

452
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:32,315
Come to me, necropolis.

453
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,902
Put your lips on
my lips. Come on.

454
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,738
Michael, I should get
back to work. (Laughs)

455
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:42,117
What? Come on.
It's time for grapes.

456
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,704
That was a fun day.

457
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,376
So, lwon.

458
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,461
I know. You get to pick.

459
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,922
Well, that's actually what I
came to talk to you about.

460
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,799
I know how much you
want to watch wall-e.

461
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,927
Yes? So I got us a compromise.

462
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,595
This movie is called hardware,

463
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:06,224
it tells the story of a killer
combat robot, just like wall-e,

464
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,810
that the government
invented to destroy humans.

465
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:12,313
It's some of what you like
and some of what I like. And...

466
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:16,276
Erin, I heard you talking
about movies before and...

467
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,837
Anyway, I just watched
this over the weekend.

468
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,279
I thought you'd really like it.

469
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:20,655
There's a Shrek 2?

470
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,031
Oh, yeah.

471
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,117
See you tomorrow.

472
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,368
Nice guy.

473
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,455
Ooh. (Laughs)