1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,004 Everybody, can I please have your attention? 2 00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:05,965 Ryan and I have a huge announcement. 3 00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,384 Oh, my gosh! Pam: Wow. 4 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:12,263 Over the weekend, Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced. 5 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,182 Sweet. Free ring. 6 00:00:15,308 --> 00:00:17,768 Divorced? Just so you know, it's totally amicable. 7 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,688 We're fine. We don't need people here to take sides. 8 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,899 The last thing that we want is any kind of drama. 9 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:26,194 Wait, I... can you back up? What's the story? 10 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,237 We were having a beautiful weekend in the poconos. 11 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,114 We were making love constantly. 12 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,825 We saw the sun rise, and Ryan was crying a lot. 13 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,428 That's not a relevant detail. And in the morning, 14 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,953 we walked by a chapel, 15 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,581 and we stopped suddenly, and Ryan said, 16 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,666 "I don't think I should be married to you anymore." 17 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:45,171 Wait... sorry, when did you get married? 18 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:48,507 Um, like, a week ago. We got really wasted, and it just felt right. 19 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,967 And you didn't invite any of us? 20 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,761 We are getting divorced, Andy! 21 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,971 This is such a raw time. 22 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,033 God, baby, you know, with people's reactions to this, 23 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,642 I wonder if we made a mistake. 24 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,394 No, with the messed up laws in this country, 25 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:03,689 I don't want to be married until everyone can be married. 26 00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:04,899 You know what, Ryan? 27 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,567 I talked to the other gay guys, 28 00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:09,004 and we're okay with it. We all agreed it's fine for you to get married. 29 00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:11,906 No. No, Oscar. Not until everyone can. 30 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,438 Kelly: Ryan, I changed my mind. 31 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,531 Okay, fine. You know what? 32 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,993 This actually isn't amicable at all, 33 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,329 and we actually do need people to take sides. 34 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,455 Who's on my side? 35 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:24,043 And who is on my side? 36 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,028 All right, bye. Bye. 37 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,738 Let's go. Just a minute! 38 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,116 How long do we have to wait? For what? 39 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,867 You broke up with a.J. Weeks ago. 40 00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,911 Don't you have a sales call to go on? 41 00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:00,579 I don't understand. I really don't. 42 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,749 I mean, we know we're gonna start dating. Why not now? 43 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,251 We don't know that. Sure we do. 44 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,795 Why is it such a certainty that we're supposed to be together? 45 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,630 Why does the sun rise in the morning? 46 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,465 Why do magnets stick together? 47 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,884 Because everybody says so. Everybody. 48 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,304 Michael, I can't keep getting into a situation 49 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,681 where I date whoever I'm working with. 50 00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,349 Well, you could understand that. 51 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,310 Yeah, I understand. I just don't agree. 52 00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:25,021 Vveh, youdont have to agree. Yes, I do. 53 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,690 No, youdont yes, ldo. 54 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,108 No, you can have your own opinion, 55 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,544 and I can have mine. Michael: I have my own opinion, 56 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,820 and my opinion is to disagree with you. 57 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,197 He's gonna be a lot of fun to drive around in a car with. 58 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,949 Oh, you'll get through it, hon. 59 00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,952 Just make a game out of it. A funny Jim game. 60 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:43,497 That's it? That's all I get? 61 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:46,342 Even after all the hard work I put into celebrating your talent today. 62 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,169 All right, what'd you do? 63 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,504 Well, those things that you consider doodles, 64 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:51,714 I consider art. 65 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,761 Where'd you put it? Where'd I put what? 66 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,721 Let's go. Oh, sorry. I gotta go. 67 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,097 Sayit. Vvhere? Okay, fine. 68 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:03,351 Three hints. One, when you're getting colder, you're really getting warmer. 69 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,810 Two! Thefndge. 70 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:07,521 You have a better chance if you think Bob Vance. 71 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:08,939 Thefndge, goth. Andthefinaldue_. 72 00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,917 Michael: Let's go! You know what? Just think about it. 73 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,735 You'll be fine. Bye. 74 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,448 Erin: Holly is ruining Michael's life. 75 00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:20,201 He thinks she's so special. 76 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,453 And she's so not. 77 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:26,040 Her personality is like a three, her sense of humor is a two, 78 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:29,585 her ears are like a seven and a four. 79 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,546 Add it all up, and what do you get? 16. 80 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,757 And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. 81 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,175 It's nuts. 82 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,141 Cheer up. We made a sale. 83 00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,935 Just drive faster. I wanna get back. 84 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,271 Vveh, pn1gomg thespeedhnflt okay, fine. 85 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,815 My feelings don't matter to you. 86 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,983 What matters to you is your precious speed limit. 87 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:54,776 Someone's in a bad mood. 88 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,237 No, I'm not. 89 00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,532 I'm not in a bad mood. 90 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,536 I'm not, Jim. Hello? 91 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,540 Okay, fine, ignore me. Have it your way. 92 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:10,209 Let's just talk about you as always. 93 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,212 Sex different after the baby, Jim? 94 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,506 All right, let me turn on some music. I need to pee! 95 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,925 No, you don't. Yeah, I do. My word against yours. 96 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,528 All right, well, we'll be there in 10 minutes. 97 00:04:19,552 --> 00:04:23,347 What part of "I need to pee" do you not understand? 98 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,433 I'm upset, my bladder is full, 99 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,769 there is no telling what I might do right now 100 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,605 all over the inside of your precious little car. 101 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,108 All right. Well, if I see a gas station, I'll pull over. 102 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,068 Well, I hope I make it. 103 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:41,073 Hello? Hi, Jim, it's helene. 104 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,118 Hey, helene. Is everything okay? 105 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,078 E verything's fine. Baby's fine. 106 00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:48,539 She has a tiny fever. I'm taking her for a checkup. 107 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,790 Nothing to worry about. 108 00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,417 Okay. 109 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,753 A tiny thing. I locked her in the car. 110 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:55,837 What? 111 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,798 She's smiling. She's happy. Oh, my god. 112 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,259 Jim, I don't have a spare key. Oh, my god. 113 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:03,220 Just stay there. I'll be there in one second. 114 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,555 Michael! 115 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:06,891 Michael! 116 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,495 Excuse me, sir, there's a... There's a guy in the bathroom. 117 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,706 He's coming out, but I have to go, 'cause it's an emergency. 118 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,291 Will you just tell him to call the office? 119 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:16,150 Just call... call the office. 120 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,902 Thank you! Please? 121 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:28,954 Hello? 122 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,938 This is Pam. Jim: Hey, it's me. 123 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,148 So, don't worry. E verything's okay. 124 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,192 What's wrong? Nothing, absolutely nothing. 125 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,378 But you're not holding a cup of coffee or anything, are you? 126 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:04,031 Jim, what? Uh, okay. So, Cece had a little bit of a fever, 127 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,116 and your mom also locked her in the car. 128 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,035 Oh, god. What? No, no, no, it's okay. 129 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,413 So, Cece's with daddy now, and she is laughing and she's happy, 130 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,057 and we're on our way to see Dr. Barbara. 131 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,416 Okay, so she's okay? 132 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,044 Yes, and your mom got a very well-deserved day off. 133 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:21,549 So, here's the thing, though, lleft Michael at the gas station on Bennett. 134 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,675 Understood. 135 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,843 And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to me. 136 00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,053 Got it. 137 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,013 I will put out an a.P.B., 138 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:31,100 otherwise known as an "ask Pam beesly." 139 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,230 Did the phone cutout? Nope. 140 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,732 All right, just call me after the doctor. Okay. 141 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,109 All right, bye. Bye. 142 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,028 I know, I know. You have a phone policy. I understand. 143 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:45,864 But this is an emergency, because my friend isn't here, 144 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:49,493 and I'm worried that he has been abducted. 145 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:50,786 And... no. 146 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,497 No, he ditched you, man. I saw him drive away. 147 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,207 There's no way he ditched me. 148 00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:56,584 There's no way that happened. 149 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,628 He's my... okay. May I please just use your phone? Please? 150 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,672 Justmakeitqmck thank you. Okay 151 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,425 I will make it quick. I will make it very quick. 152 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,511 And you don't have my numbers on speed dial. 153 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,972 Okay, what is it? 154 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,392 You don't know. You don't... you know what? 155 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,436 I could dial 411, get Jim's number... 156 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,147 He left you here on purpose, 157 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,607 all right? I saw it. 158 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,984 He just drove away. 159 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,253 Michael: Actually, this is good. 160 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:26,697 I am going to take this opportunity 161 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,365 to go walk about. 162 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,994 Good, good. 163 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,831 No, get away. 164 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,583 No. That's enough. 165 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,710 Okay. 166 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,672 Okay. 167 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,183 It's the gas station on Bennett street? Yeah. 168 00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:48,927 You know what? Why don't you stay and I'll go? 169 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,554 Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine. 170 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,349 It's kind of a sketchy neighborhood, though. I better come along. 171 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,100 Problem solved, everyone. 172 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:58,312 Space orphan and Princess nincompoop are off to rescue Michael. 173 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,606 Unbelievable. I'm going. 174 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,193 You drive. I got a car full of fox meat. 175 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,738 Cute. 176 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,371 Very funny, everyone. 177 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,039 Who wrote captions under my doodle? 178 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,167 I'm not even kidding. They're pretty good. 179 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,086 Which one in particular? Yeah, which one? 180 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,464 Well, the first one has a surprise factor. 181 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,424 "I'm a suck, suck, suckity sabre." 182 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,550 Booya! 183 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,345 No.No, no no, no, no. 184 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,682 But I suppose the second one is the better written line. 185 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,850 Yousuppose? Vvhatsitsay? 186 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,686 "I'm supposed to be wearing red gloves, 187 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,522 "but my color cartridge portal gotjammed again." 188 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,316 Okay. No, no, no, no, no. 189 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,693 Gloves. Keep it real. 190 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,986 You guys, if I knew you wanted to do a caption contest, 191 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,589 I would have drawn something more challenging. 192 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,658 And I will take you all down. You? 193 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,552 I've been reading the comics to my daughter 194 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,953 since she was three years old. 195 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,747 Not once have I used the real captions to family circus. 196 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,459 That crazy family is hilarious to her for one reason, me. 197 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:07,423 It is on like genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan. 198 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:10,050 Yes. You guys, I have the perfect idea. 199 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,386 Okay, it'll just take me 10 minutes. 200 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,263 Kevin: All right. Andy: I want to do it. 201 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:19,893 Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair, facial type, marsupial. 202 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,020 He answers to Michael, Michael g. Scott, 203 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,440 Michael j. Fox, Mr. Fox, the incredible Mr. Fox... 204 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,358 Yeah, he just left. Which way did he go? 205 00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,736 Okay, hey, hey, hey, let me answer this. 206 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:32,197 Stupid question. He went back to the office, obviously, which is that way. 207 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:36,076 Oh, really? You don't think he walked by that bakery just for the smell of it? 208 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,912 She's right. He went that way. 209 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:41,915 All right. 210 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:45,586 - Don't get a swelled head. - You're no tracker. 211 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,004 Let's ride. 212 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,231 Hey, you guys. Listen to me. 213 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,609 Don't get hung up on just one girl, 214 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,361 because there are a lot of other girls out there. 215 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,197 Look over there. See? 216 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,282 They look cute. 217 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,284 Hello. 218 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,495 You guys are so beautiful. 219 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,704 You're so colorful. 220 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,999 I wish I could understand you. 221 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,251 That's a metaphor, I guess. 222 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,506 You are disgusting. You'll never find love. 223 00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,843 Do you think she needs more time, or it's just never gonna happen? 224 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,012 I'm being serious. Seriously. 225 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,431 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. Has Michael checkedin? 226 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,017 Oh, hey, Dwight. I asked you a question. 227 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,894 No, he hasn't. Okay, bye. 228 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,646 No, wait. Hey, while you're out, 229 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,981 could you pick up some paper towels and chocolate syrup? 230 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,375 We have ice cream, so I thought we could... 231 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,818 Pam, this isn't a shopping trip. No. 232 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,694 This is a manhunt/rescue mission. 233 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:55,572 Okay, I just... when you're done, or any time it's convenient, 234 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:56,800 I just thought since you're out... 235 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:59,385 Pam, I'm obviously gonna get that stuff for you, so just shut up. God. 236 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,370 Okay, well, it wasn't... 237 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,082 No word from Michael. 238 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:07,960 Ta-daa! 239 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:13,090 Okay, it's two giant dogs with two giant palm trees 240 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,883 on a regular-sized island. 241 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,260 Oh, lgotone. Yeah? 242 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:18,178 Yes. Gabe: Okay, I'm sorry, 243 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,805 but I'm gonna have to shut this down. 244 00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,223 Both: Why? 245 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,684 Unless we can all agree to some ground rules. 246 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,353 It's either that, or I can fax this to Jo 247 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,855 and let her decide how to proceed. 248 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:31,859 Gabe, tell us your stupid rules so we can start the game. 249 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,861 Number one, and this should be obvious, 250 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,280 no captions that insult the company we work for. 251 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,115 Irony is such a critical... 252 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,867 Number two, 253 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,327 no pop culture references. 254 00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,912 Seriously? Wow. 255 00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:46,206 I think we can all agree they tend to alienate those 256 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,209 who don't get the reference, making them feel like the other. 257 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,711 Wrap it up, Gabe. 258 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:53,213 Okay, final thing, and this is a fun one, 259 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,883 instead of writing the caption directly under the picture, 260 00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,094 let's all try using sticky quips. 261 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,722 All right? New from dunder Mifflin sabre. 262 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:05,726 Sticky quips are fun. They're safe. They're handy. 263 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,811 I like to use sticky quips as regular post-it notes 264 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,938 when I'm in a fun mood. 265 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,398 Not every day. 266 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,233 Go get 'em. Start quipping. 267 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,443 Hmm. 268 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,821 Pam, I think I'm gonna send you an im. 269 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,907 Oh, okay. 270 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,968 Send me one, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, put me on that. 271 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,827 Phyllis: Cc. Darryl: Ditto. 272 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,874 Hello. I would like a hot dog, please. 273 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,536 Now, I don't have any money, 274 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,003 so here is what I would like to do. 275 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,839 I leave you here with my watch, 276 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,300 and I come back later and I pay for the hot dog. 277 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,760 I'm not a pawn shop. 278 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:43,555 Well, I understand that, but this is a $45 watch. 279 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:47,517 Wow. With that, I could buy half the menu. 280 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,020 I can't just go giving away hot dogs. All right. 281 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,648 What do you do with the hot dogs that you don't sell? 282 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,274 Throw 'em away. Well, okay, 283 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:55,710 instead of throwing them all away later, 284 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,861 why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth? 285 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,740 Okay. You've just lost my business. 286 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,292 Hey, you were in there forever. Hey. 287 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,378 There's too many brands. Where's Holly? 288 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,755 She wandered off like an idiot. 289 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,882 Hey. Hey. 290 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:21,551 What are you doing? Just changing my cell phone plan. 291 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,804 Okay. Okay. Here you go. 292 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:25,931 I'll take my free stress ball too now. 293 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,975 Sure thing. Here you go, miss... 294 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,977 Okay, Fanny smellmore. 295 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,520 Real original. What? 296 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,022 You know what? Say hi to Orville tootenbacher for me. 297 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,565 Tootenbacher. 298 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,670 Orville tootenbacher, that's Michael's millionaire character that 299 00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,112 farts popcorn. Farts popcorn. 300 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,114 Of course. He was here. 301 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,282 She's the key. Amazing. 302 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,744 Holly. 303 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,455 Hey, where would you like to go next? 304 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,332 Holly? 305 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,879 Are their egg rolls really that big? 306 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049 Oh, boy. That was yummy. 307 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,926 Thank you so much. 308 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,185 You know what? I think I left my wallet in my car. 309 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,579 Do you mind if I run out and get it? 310 00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,771 No problem. Okay. 311 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,024 I'll be right back. 312 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,281 God! Okay, you know what? 313 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,824 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 314 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:31,580 I don't have my wallet. And I was... 315 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,916 I was gonna try to dine and dash, and that was stupid, 316 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,210 and I realize I can't do that to you fine people. 317 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,574 So, you can't pay for your food? 318 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,715 Well, I can, but I will have to come back later tonight 319 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,508 and pay you. 320 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,844 But the point is I did the right thing. 321 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,220 You did not. 322 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,681 You have no money, but you dined, and you dined so much. 323 00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:53,101 Well, the number three is not such a giant feast. 324 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,811 Okay. Mr. Choo! 325 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,480 All right. You know what? 326 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,983 You're trying to steal food from us? I am not. 327 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,903 I just have had a bad day, and I... 328 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,783 Okay. I'll be back later with the money. I'm just gonna leave right now. 329 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,076 You can't. We'll stop you. 330 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,995 Well, I think I can get through the door. 331 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,629 Excuse me, do you speak English? 332 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,756 We are looking for a man, 333 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,343 Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian. 334 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,886 It's Michael! 335 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,682 He just left. 336 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,435 You knew. What? 337 00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:37,270 No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll. 338 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,855 What... what are you implying? 339 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,607 Uncanny. 340 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,775 Put a pin in that. 341 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,859 Which way did he go? 342 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,279 That guy, when he leave here, 343 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,282 which way did he go? We looking for him. 344 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:52,911 This way? This way? This way? I don't know. Do you know? 345 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,621 I think he was heading downtown. 346 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,333 He's heading downtown. 347 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,298 So what, no one's even gonna try? 348 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,467 Guess not. Oh, come on. 349 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,345 My rules could not possibly have been that oppressive. 350 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,222 You crushed our spirits, Gabe. 351 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,058 Congrats. You're a big man, huh? 352 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,646 Takes a lot to destroy the creativity of a whole group of people. 353 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,237 Hey... 354 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,203 Click the "x." I'm clicking! 355 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,164 In the box. I am clicking. 356 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,127 Woman, you've had a computer for years! Phyllis! 357 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,250 Too late! 358 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:45,714 Oh, huh, an im chat. Very clever. I'll just print that out. 359 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,967 Come on, guys. Grow up. 360 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,721 I don't want to be your babysitter. 361 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,951 "Darn it, Bob, I told you not to buy a sabre brand lifeboat." 362 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,663 Nice! Gabe: No, not nice. 363 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,165 Terrible. 364 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,250 Doesn't even include the fact that they're dogs. 365 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,211 Do the next one. "Wake up, Fred. 366 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,464 "The power cord on your sabre printer shocked you into a coma, 367 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,716 "and you're dreaming you're a dog on a desert island." 368 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:32,302 Dreaming he's a dog on an island. 369 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,179 Uh, excuse me, excuse me. 370 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,806 How does the speaker know what the guy in the coma is dreaming? 371 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,250 Well, if you think it's so easy, Gabe, why don't you try it? 372 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,688 You don't have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob. 373 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,482 I'm the only one here. 374 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,816 That's tasteless, Gabe. 375 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,276 Tasteless? Tasteless. 376 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,462 Gabe: More tasteless than this? 377 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,072 "Is that a palm tree, or did Gabe get skinnier? 378 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,490 "Either way, let's pee on it." 379 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,408 I like that. 380 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,247 Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner. 381 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,957 Yes. Kevin: Yes. Well done! 382 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,667 Whose is it? Who wrote that? 383 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,835 Yeah. Who wrote it? 384 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:12,342 Please. It was easy once I decided I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe. 385 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,428 Where did he go, Holly? 386 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,013 I have no idea. 387 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,683 Do you see a little clown that you wanna follow, huh? 388 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,602 Is there a little bird that's chirping to you, "this way, this way"? 389 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,271 I don't know. 390 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,522 Okay. Close your eyes. 391 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,733 We need you to think. What is Michael seeing right now? 392 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,777 Can you tell him that we miss him? 393 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,060 Michael, we're coming for you! 394 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,113 Will you stop? 395 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,615 There have been a few coincidences, that's all! 396 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,325 All right, then. 397 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,536 Okay. Someone propose a plan. 398 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,871 We fan out... notyou, enn. 399 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,499 Stop looking at me like that. 400 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,711 Okay, look, let's just go up somewhere high 401 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,714 and see if we could spot him on the street below. 402 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,173 That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. No. 403 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:55,552 Tap into your common mind, and tell us what he would do next. 404 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,930 Look, I'm not playing. I'm gonna go look for him. 405 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,600 Good. We don't need her. Right. 406 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,145 I can do this on my own. I can think like Michael. 407 00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,355 All right... 408 00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,816 I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. 409 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,359 A torpedo's coming right at me. 410 00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,113 No. Damn it, that's just my own imagination. 411 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,575 Maybe he's bowling. 412 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,611 Michael? 413 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,531 Hi. 414 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,536 How did you know I was up here? 415 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,871 What are you doing up here? 416 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:05,954 I got turned around. 417 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,249 I thought I could see dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin? 418 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,336 Yeah. 419 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:12,670 Wow! 420 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,885 I just miss you so much. 421 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,726 I missed you, too. 422 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:27,977 Really? 423 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,438 Yeah. 424 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,276 Can I kiss you? 425 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,153 Okay. Yeah. 426 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,124 Maybe that's not the best one. Keep reading. 427 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,917 Yeah, it was. Maybe it wasn't. 428 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,961 "Oh, thank god, I had a horrible nightmare 429 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,088 "that I was stuck in america with Gabe." 430 00:20:57,715 --> 00:21:00,051 No, that's not the one I was thinking of. Keep going. 431 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,595 "I know what it smells like, but I didn't roll in anything. 432 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,432 "It's from listening to all of Gabe's..." 433 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,561 "Isn't this the perfect romantic getaway, Erin? 434 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,522 "Sitting on a desert island in dog costumes? 435 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,774 "I'm Gabe, and I'm a weirdo." 436 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,821 "Gabe's mom. Hmm, Gabe's mom? 437 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,323 "Wait, tall woman? Looks like Gabe? 438 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,118 "Yeah, I banged her." 439 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,953 Yeah, there you go.