1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:04,255 So, coasting time is officially over. 2 00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,884 Big changes are coming, and they're coming fast. 3 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,178 If you don't like 'em, 4 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,763 this is called a door, you can walk right through it. 5 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,487 All right? I'm not here to be your friend. 6 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,976 I like my life outside of this place. 7 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,978 I live to leave at 5:00. 8 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,564 Change number one, Darryl. 9 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:25,985 Per your request, the company is sending you to business school at night. 10 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,904 Full ride, deal with it. 11 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,282 Seriously? Stone-cold seriously. 12 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:35,661 They are trying to figure me out, and I don't like it. 13 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:41,334 Once they figure me out, they start to tell me what I want to hear. 14 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:44,003 And I need to quickly figure out who's a good worker, 15 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,964 and who is simply a good mind reader. 16 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,134 Because as soon as I'm hearing what I wanna hear, 17 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,969 I'm not gonna care. 18 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,305 Change two, Toby. You're getting a new chair. 19 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,391 Thanks. Don't thank me. 20 00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,602 Hey, don't thank me, guy. 21 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,062 Okay? 22 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,396 I don't care if you like it. 23 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,441 These sound like good ideas, why wouldn't we like them? 24 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,778 I don't care what your favorite flavor is. 25 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,572 Here's a bowl of ice cream, you either like it or you don't. 26 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,158 That's my attitude right now in this room, 27 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:17,495 that's my attitude on "ice cream Thursdays." 28 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,664 All right? 29 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,249 Clear? Any questions? 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,459 This all sounds great to me. 31 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:31,008 But I could see how some people might think that they're bad. 32 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,095 I don't know what to think. 33 00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:36,347 That is a... 34 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,016 An astute observation, Kevin. 35 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,851 Kev's got me pegged. 36 00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,263 It blows away Vermont in the fall. 37 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,597 Darryl: Snap, for real? 38 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,908 Deangelo: Not even... Good morning, Deangelo. 39 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,100 Hold on, Pam. Okay. 40 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,560 And if you're really serious, 41 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:24,562 you should go in the spring. 42 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,689 'Cause of the flowers. 43 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,483 Because the entire state smells like earth. 44 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,693 Dogwoods, or just the earth? 45 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:32,403 Yes, Pam. 46 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,573 Hey, well, good morning. I think I have good news for you today. 47 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,576 I found your new executive assistant, my friend, Carla. 48 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,202 She's got great experience, 49 00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:42,288 we even considered making her Cece's godmother, 50 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,765 but she had this boyfriend at the time. 51 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,392 But here's her resume. Put it with the rest. 52 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,542 Okay. 53 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,502 Hey, dudes. Hey. 54 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:49,628 Hey. 55 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,089 Oh, my god, he hates me. No, he doesn't. 56 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,933 You just get so nervous and hyper around him. 57 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,801 I know. Every time there's a silence, 58 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,720 your brain's, like... 59 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,948 Is that what he tells you at your little inner circle meetings? 60 00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,932 Careful, there is no inner circle. 61 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,519 Oh, there is an inner circle. Oh, yeah. 62 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,938 There is no inner circle. 63 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:12,443 Deangelo just prefers to delegate a few things to a few guys. 64 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:16,280 Jim only says that because he's in the inner circle. 65 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:21,285 I also say that because I am also in the inner circle. 66 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,913 Did you get that, ma? 67 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:28,542 Your boy, Kevin Malone, is in the inner circle, 68 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,714 which doesn't exist. 69 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345 There he is. Got you coffee. 70 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,306 Oh, wow, thank you, that was so kind of you. 71 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,495 Not a coffee guy, I take it, huh? 72 00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:48,479 It's just that I own the coffee shop. 73 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,273 So once you've seen sausage being made, 74 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,818 all you wanna do is make sausage 'cause it's so much fun. 75 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,364 Listen, I've got a sixer, automatic for the people on the jukebox. 76 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:01,158 Let's hit the park after sundown, come on. 77 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,522 Pick up some sausage if you want. 78 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:06,831 I think you'll find what you're looking for over there. 79 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,088 No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, 80 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,091 he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. 81 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,593 It reminds me of my relationship with my son. 82 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,846 Except there, I'm the Dwight. 83 00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:24,035 Who's the biggest client in the state? 84 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,016 I say we go get 'em, whatever it takes. 85 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,560 What do you guys say? 86 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,311 Kevin: Yes. Right? 87 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:33,107 Darryl: Let's do it. Or my other idea, 50,000 tiny clients. 88 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,026 Yeah, I say that we just go for it. 89 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:38,988 Is that ball lighter than usual? 90 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,273 Is that a Chinatown knockoff? 91 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:41,484 That's toys "r" us, I think. 92 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,812 No, that's definitely a knockoff. 93 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,618 You can feel the center of gravity is off. 94 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,162 Feel that, what do you think? 95 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,788 Oh, yeah, totally. 96 00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,141 Jim, you got ripped off big time. 97 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,374 Deangelo! 98 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,353 See what I did there? That's what you need to do. 99 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,921 Just add a little English. The British are coming. 100 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,485 Kevin: Yes. Deangelo: Deangelo's open! 101 00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:00,634 Hey, ry. Your department's killing it, baby. 102 00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:02,928 Hey! My pleasure, my treasure. 103 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,221 Keep it up. 104 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:09,226 The problem with having it, or, the x factor, 105 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,395 or whatever it is you wanna call it, 106 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,690 is that it's impossible to put into words 107 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:18,027 what you're bringing to the table. 108 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,030 So, to make things simpler for Deangelo, I just, without lying, 109 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:24,074 strongly implied that I'm Kelly's supervisor. 110 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,868 It's not even that much of a stretch. 111 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,745 She pretty much does whatever I say. 112 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,331 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What? 113 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,166 Why should I pretend that you are my boss? 114 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,186 Because what would you have done in that situation, Kelly? 115 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,837 I'll tell you what I would have done for you. I'd lie for you. 116 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,173 Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. 117 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,633 Ryan, you just like to lie. 118 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,967 I'd die for you, too. 119 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:43,969 You really would? 120 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,765 Hey, Kelly kapoor, if I don't have those call logs on my desk, 121 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,435 we're just gonna have to evaluate your future at the company. 122 00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:53,771 Sure thing, Mr. Howard. 123 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,814 Glad he's not my boss. 124 00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,147 You're the best, thank you. 125 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,325 You know, I have a cousin who cracked the secret formula 126 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,577 for a certain popular cola that I shall not name. 127 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:12,665 So I've never had to buy it. True story. 128 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,124 I just drink my cousin's. 129 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,544 Congratulations on your one cousin. 130 00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:19,046 I have 70, each one better than the last. 131 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:23,759 You know what? Straight up, why don't you like me? 132 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,137 I'm just not a suck up like everyone else around here, okay? 133 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,933 I do my job well, so why don't you just leave me alone, 134 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,394 and let me do it. Okay? 135 00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:35,980 Oh, no. 136 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,064 What... okay? 137 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,567 I'm gonna win you over. No, you're not. 138 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,651 Yes, I am. 139 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,735 Oh, yes. 140 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:42,819 Yes. 141 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:43,862 Yes! 142 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,197 Yes! Yes! No! No! 143 00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:48,492 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 144 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,536 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... 145 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,079 Uh-oh. 146 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,164 This former administrative assistant 147 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,333 misspelled "administrative," and "assistant." 148 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,252 The winner. 149 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:03,257 Under special skills, Mr. Don finer putjuggling. 150 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,845 What's wrong with juggling, Darryl? 151 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,680 I'm a big juggler. 152 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,308 I actually perform a motivational juggling routine. 153 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,435 Seriously? Oh, yeah. 154 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,771 I'd do it for you here, but... 155 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,399 What would you say this room is? 300 square feet? 320? 156 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:23,277 Th ree-twenty, just free-balling it. 157 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,654 It's a little cramped. 158 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:29,033 How many square feet out there? Seventeen, eighteen hundo? 159 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,868 Oh, I think it's 18 hundo. 160 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:33,370 Gabe: Give or take. 161 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,247 Sorry, gang. 162 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,500 I thought myjuggling stuff was in the trunk of my car, but it's not. 163 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,753 Oh, no, do you think it was stolen? 164 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,171 Andy: I got you covered, boss. 165 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,965 Used to play with the parabolas myself. 166 00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:48,427 Got some extra balls. Hey! Oh! 167 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:52,765 Sorry, I never touch anotherjuggler's instruments. 168 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,894 You know, we're all here, I've got the music cued. 169 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,258 Why don't I just do my routine without the juggling balls? 170 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:04,026 Prepare to go into the danger zone. 171 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,991 Oh, wow, you weren't kidding. No, neven 172 00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:17,414 can someone please throw me a fifth ball? If you dare. 173 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,250 Incoming! 174 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:21,919 And we're on. 175 00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:25,422 Remember, nothing's impossible. 176 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:41,271 Phyllis, where's Phyllis? 177 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,690 Here. 178 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:45,317 Do you believe in me, Phyllis? 179 00:08:45,401 --> 00:08:47,069 Yes. 'Cause I believe in you. 180 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,737 Oh, okay. 181 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,159 Feel that connection? 182 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,205 Don't move your head, please, thank you. 183 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,251 Big hand for Phyllis. 184 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,044 That took a lot of guts. 185 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,679 I'm Deangelo vickers. 186 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,806 Thank you so much. Hope you learned something. 187 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,395 He didn't drop a single ball. 188 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,939 Look. 189 00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,150 I'm juggling eggs and bowling balls. 190 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,193 I'm juggling with one hand. 191 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,195 No hands. 192 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,908 What could he possibly stand to gain from a fake juggling routine? 193 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,287 What could he possibly stand to gain from a real juggling routine? 194 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,205 How can you keep defending him? 195 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,541 He's good at his job, and I like working for him. 196 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,335 Of course you do, Jim. You're a man. 197 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,629 Deangelo is a huge sexist. 198 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,006 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 199 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,592 I think if he was sexist, I'd be able to tell. 200 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,178 I took a crap load of women's studies courses at Cornell. 201 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,948 And I wrote my own companion piece to the vagina monologues, 202 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,725 called the penis apologies. So I know a thing or two. 203 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,018 Okay, then how about 204 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,741 I'm the head of the accounting department, 205 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,688 but he only ever talks to Kevin. 206 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,274 What about Pam and Kelly? Also department heads, 207 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,942 but has he ever met with you? 208 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,778 Or even asked you to do anything? 209 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,326 How could I not see it? You're so right. 210 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,952 Why don't you talk to him about it? 211 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,206 And say what? "Hey, Deangelo, are you shy or just a sexist?" 212 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,601 Why don't you just tell him how his actions are being perceived 213 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,959 by the women in this office? 214 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:27,044 Mmm-hmm. 215 00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:31,089 And if he doesn't listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye. 216 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,425 Snip-snip. Am I right, girls? 217 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,179 Hey, you got a second? 218 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,890 Yeah, I got tons of time, this job's a joke. 219 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,974 So what's up? 220 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,729 Really, it's nothing. I was just talking to Angela. 221 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:46,980 And she was... 222 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,858 Hey. Saw Jim come in, are we meeting? 223 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,735 Yeah, sure, let's make it a meeting. 224 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,254 If it's all right, can I just have, like, 225 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,672 one minute alone, just to go over... 226 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,533 What's the big secret? Why are you even whispering? 227 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,076 Come on, it's the guys. 228 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,661 I know, just the guys. 229 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:04,289 Well, maybe that's part of the problem, I think. 230 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:07,501 So what happened was I was talking to some of the department heads. 231 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,086 Right. 232 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:11,338 Uh-oh. Some of the female department heads. 233 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,422 Yeah. Jim: Right? 234 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,092 Hot. Maybe there's a vibe out there 235 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,302 with certain members of the office 236 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:22,766 that you are a little sexist, or... 237 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,852 Damn! Mmom 238 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:28,021 wait. Are you serious? Who feels this way? 239 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:31,275 Pam? Oh, hke, nobodv itwas_ 240 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,585 Was it Pam? Kevin: Oh, my gosh. 241 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,736 That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. 242 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,614 Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. 243 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,093 Kevin: Kevin... Deangelo: Guys. 244 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,661 Hold on. Doesn't matter who, okay? 245 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,515 I'm just happy that Jim brought it to my attention, 246 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,457 because, honestly, I had no idea. 247 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,043 Thatsawesome. Thank you. 248 00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:53,005 Mom, Ryan's taking us out to dinner tonight. 249 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,883 No, no, he's not gonna stand us up like he did last time. 250 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,676 He won't ever stand us up again. 251 00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,095 So I am the new customer service supervisor... 252 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,889 When Deangelo's around. 253 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:06,268 And I'm also a very dutiful boyfriend when... 254 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,729 All the time. All the time. 255 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,565 Erin, do you mind running down to the lobby 256 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,109 and bringing up my brand new executive assistant? 257 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,986 Absolutely. Hey, who'd you end up hiring? 258 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,571 I'm glad you asked, Jim. 259 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,823 Because, apparently, there's a rumor 260 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,575 running around here that I'm a sexist. 261 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:22,993 Mmm-hmm. 262 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:27,456 I can't work here effectively if you guys think I'm something that I'm not. 263 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,665 I'm not a sexist. 264 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,086 Raise your hand if you have a vagina. 265 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:44,097 Raise your hand if someone you love has a vagina. 266 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,018 Yeah, yeah, okay. Just about everyone. 267 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,103 What about Deangelo's hand? 268 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,815 Oh, wow. He's got 'em both up. 269 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,068 Yeah. 270 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,195 Uh-huh. 271 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,656 Yeah. So it bothers me, 272 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,159 when I hear that there's gossip around here 273 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,286 that I treat women lesser than men. 274 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,705 Okay? Frankly, 275 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:12,042 we all look a little ridiculous when that happens. 276 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,502 I'm not a feminist, 277 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,963 but I think that the men in this office 278 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,382 are being given chances that the women aren't. 279 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:19,758 Dwight. 280 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,468 What's your take? 281 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,594 What's the argument here? 282 00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:25,847 NBA, wnba. One is a sport, one is a joke. 283 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,599 I love sports, I love jokes. 284 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,560 Room for all. Man, you're smart. 285 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,564 Oh, hey! Hi. Hello. Hi. 286 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:39,903 Welcome. Everyone, I'd like you to please welcome Jordan Garfield. 287 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,864 This is everyone. Hello. 288 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:45,367 So, Jordan, where did you work before? 289 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,327 A law office? 290 00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:48,412 No, anthropologie. 291 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:52,332 "We don't have this and that size." Pretty lame. 292 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,710 Lame? You worked at anthropologie? 293 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,420 Yeah. That's, hke, mydmamjob 294 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,703 how did you even get that job? 295 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,516 Well, I... you chose this job over that job? 296 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,133 Okay, okay, back to work, Kelly. 297 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,176 We have a lot to get done today. 298 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,847 So, is this your first office job then? 299 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,473 Yeah. Yup. 300 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,351 Wow. No corporate experience whatsoever. 301 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,687 I didn't want anyone with any bad habits. 302 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:14,771 Kevin: Nice. 303 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,900 Jim, are you coming? 304 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,403 Oh, yeah, did he text us? Kevin: Yeah. 305 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,554 Jim, what are you doing? Get in there. 306 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:32,056 This is not the time to take a stand, at least he likes one of us. 307 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,874 He didn't text me. Yes! 308 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,667 I'm in. 309 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,419 Andy, what are you doing? 310 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,922 I'm going in into the belly of the beast. 311 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,009 I'm gonna infiltrate and change from within. 312 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,554 What's up, man cave? 313 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,684 Just go in. 314 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,787 Just go in, he probably just forgot to text you. 315 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,855 Internally for office use, 316 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,067 where do we get our paper from? 317 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,276 Do we go and... 318 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,296 Do we have that system? Don't worry, 319 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,464 the first day's always the hardest. 320 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:05,489 Yeah. 321 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,494 Hey, hn1 yeah? 322 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,288 Can I help you? Nope. 323 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,540 Just_ 324 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,257 Okay. 325 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,067 So, he kicked you out of the inner circle, huh? 326 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,361 No, there is no inner circle. 327 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,531 Dwight? 328 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,676 Deangelo wanted me to ask you if there's anything I could help you with? 329 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,701 Really? 330 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:53,578 Anything? 331 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,372 Do you need anything? 332 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,581 Deangelo? 333 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,376 Tell your whore to leave me alone! 334 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:05,632 Okay, I do not wanna waste your time, so I will keep this brief! 335 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,343 Now, word on the street is mercy hospital, 336 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:09,886 back on the market. 337 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,657 Deangelo would like you to put together a sales pitch for next week. 338 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:16,601 Deangelo has also recently learned about the barnacle project, 339 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,147 which is a non-profit organization based in mystic, Connecticut, 340 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,649 that assists in the scraping of barnacles... 341 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,067 So this is my life 342 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,736 until I win the lottery 343 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,950 or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books. 344 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,703 So, one afternoon while walking home from school, 345 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,621 quirky 10th-grader Becky Walters 346 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,582 finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. 347 00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:42,335 And she becomes "the horse flyer." 348 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,797 Hey, Kelly, that's the last time 349 00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,761 I'm gonna talk to you about your paycheck, okay? 350 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,563 We pay you a fair salary here and if you're only here for the money, 351 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:51,954 maybe you shouldn't be here at all. 352 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,513 No one likes a money grubber. 353 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:59,436 I'm sorry, Mr. Howard. I apologize for grubbing for money... 354 00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:03,023 I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm sorry, I just can't do it. 355 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,192 Deangelo, Ryan is not my boss, okay? 356 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,319 Frankly, he hasn't had a real job here in years. 357 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,528 Whoa! 358 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,655 That's hilarious, Kelly. 359 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,532 No, he'sjust a big fraud, Deangelo. 360 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:13,867 He's like rango. 361 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,535 He doesn't work here, basically, 362 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,871 just like the way rango didn't save those animals. 363 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,414 It was just a big misunderstanding. 364 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,042 Is this true, Ryan? 365 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:24,002 I did not see rango. 366 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,755 Okay, I don't have time for this "he said, she said." 367 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,048 He's not saying anything! 368 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,132 It's too murky. 369 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,303 I like Ryan. You seem kind of hysterical to me. 370 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,973 Ryan's your supervisor. Let's just leave it that way. 371 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,643 But it's not fair. I've been working here for such a long time... 372 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:42,520 Close call. 373 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,249 Okay, why don't you just finish this stuff up and leave it on my desk 374 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,153 and I will see you at your place around 2:00 am? 375 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,204 Deangelo: Oh, angry, angry dunk. 376 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,413 Hey. 377 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,141 It sounds like you guys are having a lot of fun, 378 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,168 but it's really loud and some of us are trying to work, so... 379 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,188 Do you think you could do it a little more quietly? 380 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,923 Well, that's gonna be tough because we're getting a dunking clinic 381 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,508 from magic Jordan himself. 382 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,969 You mean Michael Jordan? 383 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:17,764 Total brain burp. 384 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,848 I'm no mj. 385 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:20,517 Please. 386 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,061 I can do his dunk from free-throw line, though. 387 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,145 Whoa! 388 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:28,817 Damn! Mad respect from a brother! 389 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:32,946 The man is paying me to take Chinese. I will say what I need to say. 390 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,991 And soon, I will say it in Chinese. 391 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,535 Okay, well, it's just really loud. 392 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,496 Okay. We'll keep that in mind. 393 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,999 All right, ladies. Back to the game. Do it! 394 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,377 And, Jim, come on in. 395 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,546 You're back in. 396 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,427 You know what? Instead of a game, why don't we do an exhibition? 397 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,761 Love to see that dunk of yours. 398 00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,293 Yeah, we'll set that up one day. 399 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,849 Today. Now, maybe. 400 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,559 'Cause we have a hoop downstairs, 401 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,686 and a real ball, so you don't have to mime it. 402 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,355 Yeah, I don't know. 403 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:08,857 Why not? 404 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,817 Only because 405 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,445 no one has called NASA to request a lift off. 406 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,782 Let's go downstairs, okay? Let's do it. 407 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:18,867 Pass. 408 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,849 If I wanted to see a pissing contest, 409 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,412 I'd lock mose in the chicken Coop. 410 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,122 Damn it, Dwight, enough! 411 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:29,002 Get your ass downstairs, or find a new place to sell paper! 412 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,493 Dwight: Okay, a little about me. 413 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,011 I respond to strong leadership. 414 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,865 All right, there you go. Seems a little close. 415 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,158 You're sure that's the real foul line? 416 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,409 Fifteen feet from the baseline. 417 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,226 So you need me to move it in? 418 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,103 Nah, that's 15. 419 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,188 Yeah. Okay. 420 00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,648 And, you know what, to make it interesting, 421 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,942 Jordan, why don't you sit underneath the basket? 422 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,778 Seriously? Yeah, come on. 423 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,624 I'll dunk over you, best seat in the house. 424 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,215 I don't... I don't think I can do that. 425 00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,282 I'm holding your jewelry. 426 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,450 Right, yeah. 427 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,619 Okay, fair enough. Kevin, you do it. 428 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:03,912 Yes, okay. 429 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,038 Why don't you? 430 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,122 Here? 431 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:07,767 Someone wanna sit in Kevin's lap? 432 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:08,792 Angela? No. 433 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,293 Oscar? No, thank you. 434 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,105 Okay, Jimmy, this is for you, to show you that anything is possible. 435 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,464 Fantastic. All right? 436 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,633 Yup. This is also for the troops. 437 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,810 Doctor is in! 438 00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,033 Now what? 439 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,916 Deangelo? 440 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,366 Oh, my god, are you all right? 441 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,171 Erin, will you call 911, please? Erin: Okay. 442 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,674 Erin. Who should I say is calling? 443 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,034 Dry sweat, yeah, I get it. 444 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,705 Okay, we're gonna work on it.