1
00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:04,045
Oh, for god's sake.

2
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:09,175
Planking is a very stupid
and dangerous trend.

3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,386
Basically you lie like
a plank in weird places.

4
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,138
That's it.

5
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,764
Sometimes you get run over.

6
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,683
Welcome to the Internet.

7
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,561
Planking is one of
those things where,

8
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:22,230
hey, you either
get it or you don't.

9
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,401
And I don't. But I am so
excited to be a part of it.

10
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,822
After you, my good sir.

11
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:31,906
No, I insist.

12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,700
Jim: The search
committee finally decided,

13
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,493
after a lot of deliberation,

14
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,913
on Robert California
for the manager position.

15
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,917
Who took one look
around and left.

16
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:47,797
He drove down to Florida and
convinced Jo to make him c.E.O.

17
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,094
C.e.o. Her own job.

18
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,083
He talked her out of her own job

19
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,973
and I don't really know
how someone does that,

20
00:00:57,098 --> 00:01:00,268
but anyway, then the
position was his to fill,

21
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,520
and he chose...

22
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,195
It's unbelievable.

23
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,031
Andy: True. Imay have
been the second choice,

24
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,325
but I was the first
choice's first choice.

25
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:16,701
And about Dwight,

26
00:01:16,784 --> 00:01:19,704
I sense that he might have some
resentment about not getting the job,

27
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:21,187
so I sat him down
and we had a talk.

28
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:24,042
And I told him, "I need a
really strong number two.

29
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,376
"I want you to be my enforcer."

30
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,504
Smart, right? Very smart.

31
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,633
This has got to stop.

32
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:32,884
I can't get down.

33
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,802
Hey! Kevin!

34
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,891
Yeah, at first I was
really disappointed.

35
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,769
But I've got a great daily
routine going right now.

36
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,562
I've upped my karate
to eight times a week.

37
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,689
I've added boxing at
lunches and on weekends,

38
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,859
I do kick-boxing three times a
week, krav maga four times a week,

39
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,362
an hour of meditation
every morning at sunrise,

40
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,988
and again at sunset.

41
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,991
So yeah. I'm doing great.

42
00:01:57,825 --> 00:01:59,202
I'm going to need
some help. Pam?

43
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,870
I don't think I should.

44
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,749
Oh, yeah. Pregnant.

45
00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:06,751
Right here.
Little Michael Scott.

46
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:09,128
Nope. I told you I
don't like that joke.

47
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,922
It is a boy. We found out early.

48
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,633
Much different
the second time around.

49
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,760
And I have to say
it is nice not being

50
00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,554
the only pregnant
woman in the office.

51
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,433
Look, it's "little
pregs" and "big pregs."

52
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,495
Wait, when did we
start calling each other...

53
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,105
Isn't it amazing the
difference in our sizes?

54
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,940
Well, I am a few
months ahead of you.

55
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,693
I'm having a child with
my husband, the senator.

56
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:36,364
And Pam is having a child
with Jim. The great salesman.

57
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,032
Hoist him aloft!

58
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,702
Come on, Darryl, lift.
Lift, Darryl.

59
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,078
Come on, man.

60
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:45,582
Yeah, I wanted the managerjob,
but I got something much better.

61
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,168
This soda.

62
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,337
This is mine.

63
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:56,217
It might be easier if you take a
deep breath, lift from the knees,

64
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,844
and shove it up your butt.

65
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,366
I came up with
a new thing this summer.

66
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,891
I act like I'm telling someone
how to do something.

67
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:07,312
I go on with a long
description and then I say...

68
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,105
And shove it up your butt.

69
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,402
It's stupid,
but it's my thing now.

70
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,779
No one should be
planking at all.

71
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,406
Thank you. Yes.

72
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,493
Dwight, my enforcer, my number
two, can you take care of this?

73
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,786
Say no more.

74
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,925
Kids, don't try planking,
it's dangerous.

75
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,262
Especially with me around.

76
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,897
Are you watching
that commercial again?

77
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,970
Why do you keep watching it if you
know it's just going to make you cry?

78
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,886
Because everything makes
me cry, so what's the difference?

79
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:26,808
This dog, he just wants
to protect his bone.

80
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,893
He's got a bank vault.
That's a start.

81
00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:29,976
Not enough, though.

82
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,020
All right.

83
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,737
The new ceo. Works out of the
conference room about half the time,

84
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:43,991
but whenever he takes a break, he
does these weird walks around the office.

85
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,261
And you never know who
he's going to zero in on

86
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:48,454
for these really
intense small talks.

87
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,832
You just hope it's not you.

88
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:55,294
And yet you hope it
is you, too. It's strange.

89
00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,678
Here we go. Hello.

90
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,848
Robert California.
Let's have a conversation.

91
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,766
Describe your day so far.

92
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,560
Well, I woke up and...

93
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,979
When you recount yourday,
neversay you woke up.

94
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,272
It's a waste of your time.

95
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:17,358
That's how every day has begun
for everyone since the dawn of man.

96
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,777
Very smart. Very smart.

97
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,032
Suddenly, I was awake and I...

98
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:30,747
Hey, robefl. We have that 9:30
am. Casual chit chat scheduled.

99
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,333
I emailed you about it last night
to confirm. And again this morning.

100
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,419
First item on the agenda,
can I get everyone

101
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,463
an extra long
Columbus day weekend?

102
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,882
Item number two,
connect with the guy.

103
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,260
Robert California,
what does he think of me?

104
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,720
Don't know. Super care.

105
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,515
Number three, time permitting,
we lost our biggest client.

106
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,864
Pam. Pam. Psst! Pam.

107
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,130
Jim.

108
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:34,393
Can I call you right back?
Thank you very much.

109
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,729
Okay.

110
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,192
What is this?

111
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,364
The Friday before
Columbus day, thoughts?

112
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:47,573
What are your thoughts?

113
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,991
Just making chit-chat.

114
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,329
Kind of a medium year
for women's soccer, no?

115
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,500
What are you looking at?

116
00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,669
It's nothing.

117
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,879
It can't be nothing.
Yeah, it can't be nothing.

118
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,590
It's just a list of our names
split into two columns.

119
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,133
What?

120
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,803
Okay, just wait one
second, all right? I will copy it.

121
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,138
Do you have a pen? No.

122
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,268
Okay. Um, I'll take
a photo of it.

123
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,880
Dwight, can you
throw me my phone?

124
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,149
Nice catch.

125
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,318
If he comes out, distract him.

126
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,404
We need a warning signal.

127
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,197
We don't need
a warning signal, Kevin.

128
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,466
We can see him right
there. Kevin: We do.

129
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,551
I promise you we don't need a...

130
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,744
Warning! Warning!
Warning! Warning! Warning!

131
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,580
Jim: Phyllis! Phyllis!

132
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,875
Dwight: You okay?

133
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,670
Dwight: You okay? Yeah. Yeah.

134
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,171
Dwight: One, two, three.

135
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,298
Phyllis: Thanks, guys.

136
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,054
Okay. Which side
of the list am I on?

137
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,181
Yes! Left.

138
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,517
Why are you... how do you know?

139
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896
Really great
list of names, guys.

140
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,315
Thank you so much. Good work.

141
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,109
No, actually, that was
in Robert's notebook.

142
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:07,194
He left it at reception
and we photocopied it.

143
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,613
Oh!

144
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,657
Okay. I don't want
any part of this.

145
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,118
Maybe it's the list of people
he's going to fire.

146
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,621
Okay. It's not that, Pam.

147
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,956
You know, I was
thinking it reminds me

148
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,499
of those lists
Dwight used to make.

149
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,376
This is if we were all
on a cruise ship

150
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,211
and had to divide
into life boats.

151
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,857
And this is if we
were on a cruise ship

152
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,673
and had to divide
into life rafts.

153
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:32,219
Here's something. "Who would
eat who in an alive situation?"

154
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,642
No. That can't be it.

155
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,725
Andy: I gotta say,

156
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,771
it kind of seems like the
left side is the side to be on.

157
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,815
Me, Jim, Dwight, Darryl,
no offense, Pam.

158
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,567
I don't think... excuse me?

159
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,611
Shh. Pam, come on.
Don't be such a right-sider.

160
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,740
Did you guys figure it
out? We couldn't crack it.

161
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,409
Go in there, just ask
the man what it means.

162
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:59,705
He'll know that we looked
at his private notebook.

163
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,249
Come on. Just say you
saw the list by accident.

164
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,693
I'm already working on this
Columbus day thing for you guys.

165
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,171
And it's starting to stack up.

166
00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:08,854
It feels like a lot.
One thing at a time.

167
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,884
Yeah, that's all you had to do
today is ask about Columbus day?

168
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,350
Yes. For god's sake,
Andy, yes. Come in.

169
00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:23,896
What's up?

170
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,399
Weird thing. Totally awkward.

171
00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:30,027
But you left your notebook
on the reception desk.

172
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,153
Great. Thank you.

173
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,906
And it was open,

174
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,076
and people saw this,

175
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,120
and they're just kind
of going nuts and, hke_.

176
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,204
What is this?

177
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:41,287
Wondering what it is.

178
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374
It's a photocopy
from your notebook.

179
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:47,086
You read my notebook? And
photocopied it and distributed it?

180
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:53,592
No. They did. And they
asked me to ask you about it.

181
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,636
Please.

182
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,017
Here's what it is,
it's a doodle.

183
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:02,560
What?

184
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,980
Some people doodle at work
when they let their mind run.

185
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,606
They draw houses, penises,

186
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,693
funny how the houses
are always colonials

187
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,486
and the penises are
always circumcised.

188
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,530
Don't you think?

189
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:19,160
Well, I doodle too but I'm not
an artist so I draw words and lists.

190
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,664
That is fascinating.

191
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,875
And by the way,
I am so glad I asked.

192
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,544
People were just sort of...
Did you just move my name?

193
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,422
Might as well have
been sketching a cube.

194
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,013
Okay, Robert's in the annex,
everybody think quick.

195
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,490
What do these
groups have in common?

196
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,492
Maybe we're supposed to
do it with people in our group.

197
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,809
That's not it.

198
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,061
People in the other group.

199
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479
Mmm. Still wrong.

200
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,315
Stanley, you do puzzles
all day. What do we got?

201
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,609
Well, you take the first
letter from each name,

202
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,070
assign it a number,
add them all up,

203
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,821
and shove it up your butt.

204
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,282
Thank you, a little
much needed comic relief.

205
00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,659
But we really need to
figure this out, guys.

206
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,078
I know.

207
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,497
It's alphabetical.

208
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,416
Andy: No, it's not.

209
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,501
Here's how we find out.

210
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,252
Let's line up and
compare the lines,

211
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,587
see if we learn anything, okay?

212
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,048
Left-siders over here,
right-siders line up over here,

213
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,132
face each other.

214
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,635
Match up by height
and relative weight.

215
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:21,097
Let's just size
each other up here.

216
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,682
And left side of the list,

217
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,726
afiack!

218
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,895
Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop!

219
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,563
Jim: Will you stop?

220
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,816
Dwight!

221
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,067
Don't do it!

222
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:34,902
What are you doing? Stop!

223
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,072
Warning! Warning! Warning!

224
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:47,957
I'd like to invite the following
people to join me for lunch.

225
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,459
Jim, Dwight,

226
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,212
Angela, Darryl,

227
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,758
Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Oscar.

228
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,388
That's great.
Let's do this, guys.

229
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:07,226
All right. Well,
I will see you in a bit.

230
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,519
I love you so much.

231
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:12,189
Hey, it's nothing, all right?

232
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:13,750
I'll text you when we get there.

233
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,734
I'll let you know
what's going on. Okay.

234
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,611
No. No dog video.

235
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,113
Okay. Okay.

236
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:20,948
See you, guys.

237
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,328
Well, we should all
be really excited about

238
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,166
our very own pizza party.

239
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:35,212
Pizza party! Pizza
party. Pizza party.

240
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,507
Jim, your daughter Cecelia,
what does she think of the street?

241
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,092
The street?

242
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,302
Sesame street.

243
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,387
Oh. I didn't know
anybody called it...

244
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:44,722
She likes it a lot.

245
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,348
She loves elmo.

246
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,726
Elmo, god save us, the elmo era.

247
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,810
Right?

248
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,562
Sesame street was
created to reflect

249
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,365
the environment of
the children watching it.

250
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,941
Complete self absorption of elmo

251
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,943
is brilliantly
reflective of our time.

252
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,113
Ours is a cultural ghetto.
Wouldn't you agree?

253
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,700
Yeah. She does like elmo.

254
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,953
Cultural ghetto? Totally agree.

255
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,121
Completely.

256
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,665
Apt. Apt analysis, Robert.

257
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:15,502
The thing that I like
about elmo is the tickling.

258
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,591
I should not be here. I don't
know. I was in the wrong...

259
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,344
I'm... I'm sorry.

260
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,305
Just picture me back
there. I was never here.

261
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,519
Great group. Pizza party.

262
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:33,726
How is this a pizza party?

263
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,040
Well, why don't you ask me again

264
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,264
when the five pizzas get here?

265
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,459
Yeah, well, that's just pizza.

266
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,669
You need at least one other
element for it to be a party.

267
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,493
Okay. Have you guys
ever had margherita pizza?

268
00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:42,529
What's that?

269
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:46,700
Fresh tomato with a dollop
of mozzarella cheese.

270
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:47,952
That's pizza.

271
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,912
That's regular pizza.

272
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,623
You know, I feel comfortable
enough now to ask you this question,

273
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,292
what made you pick this group?

274
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,211
I just think
you guys are winners

275
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,521
and I wanted to
have lunch with you.

276
00:13:58,545 --> 00:13:59,630
Okay.

277
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,008
What about the other guys?

278
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,636
Losers? Come on.
Oh, I don't know.

279
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,137
Come on. Come on.

280
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,889
I guess I think they're losers.

281
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,392
I knew it.

282
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:12,476
Yes!

283
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,019
Probably shouldn't
have said that.

284
00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:15,646
Dwight: Whoo-hoo!

285
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,774
Ah-ha! Their interpretation
of margherita pizza.

286
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,735
Fans of classic pizza
will be psyched.

287
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,614
A text from Jim.

288
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,409
"This is getting very weird.
Will explain later."

289
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,290
Text from Kevin.

290
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,499
"Suck it, losers."

291
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,798
Ryan: Okay, not to point
out the glaringly obvious,

292
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,217
but doesn't the fact
that I'm in this group

293
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,594
make anyone feel just
a little bit better?

294
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,514
Oh, this crust is sharp!

295
00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:55,269
I used to be young and cute
and sort of funny

296
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,188
and I could do those
cute little cartoons

297
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,775
and everyone who came
through here was like,

298
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,944
"who's that receptionist?
I like her."

299
00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:06,488
Now I'm just a fat mom.

300
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,993
Yeah, and you take one look at
me and you're like, "oh, loser."

301
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,619
Andy: Come here, Pam.

302
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,205
Chins up, okay?

303
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,791
Bad joke.

304
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,502
Look around this room.

305
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,130
Does this look like a
group of losers? Seriously.

306
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:31,722
Oh, god.

307
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,727
Kelly: Oh, hey, guys,
we had so much fun.

308
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,145
We had margherita pizza.

309
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:39,956
We all hung out and got
to know each other better.

310
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:40,980
How was your lunch?

311
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,941
It was excellent. Good times.

312
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,193
Yeah? Yeah.

313
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,195
Oh, we did.
It was the best time.

314
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,907
And you know what? Now it's
over, back to work, everyone.

315
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:51,992
You too, Andy.

316
00:15:52,659 --> 00:15:53,659
Kevin: / knew it.

317
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:57,748
I just knew my whole life that
everyone was wrong about me.

318
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:03,253
My parents, my teachers, my
friends, the doctors, everyone.

319
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,173
Well, that was
certainly an odd lunch.

320
00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:11,678
Is everything all right?

321
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:13,972
Yeah, I'm fine.

322
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,813
Just take the
casserole out of the...

323
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,939
Loser

324
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,274
take it out of the
refrigerator, put it in the oven.

325
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:27,027
It'll be fine. Just leave
it in for 20 minutes.

326
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,279
Kevin: Loser.

327
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,715
When I was a salesman,
I could just be like,

328
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,618
"not my job, not my prob. I'm going
to the warehouse to Polish my knob."

329
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,037
Metaphorically, of course.

330
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,208
But now,
it is my job and my prob.

331
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,043
Hi, Robert.

332
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,880
Can you come out here,
please? It's really important.

333
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,303
I just wanted to
clarify something.

334
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,683
Some people here
are under the misconception

335
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:02,146
that some people
may be considered,

336
00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:04,273
let's say top tier,

337
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,109
and others would be second tier.

338
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,485
I never said that.

339
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,320
Thank you. Great.

340
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:13,073
I said winners and losers. Is
that what you're talking about?

341
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:17,828
Oh, that might... that actually
might be what I'm thinking of.

342
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,580
Can you clarify that?

343
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,082
Let me tell you some
things I find productive.

344
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:25,919
Positive reinforcement,

345
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:28,255
negative reinforcement.

346
00:17:28,755 --> 00:17:29,882
Honesty.

347
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,843
I'll tell you some things
I find unproductive.

348
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,305
Constantly worrying
about where you stand

349
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,515
based on
inscrutable social clues,

350
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:42,144
and then inevitably reframing
it all in a reassuring way

351
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,707
so that you can get
to sleep at night.

352
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,565
No, I do not
believe in that at all.

353
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,610
If I invited you to lunch,
I think you're a winner.

354
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,069
If I didn't, I don't.

355
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,905
But I just met you all.

356
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,365
Lweislong, opinions change.

357
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,745
Winners, prove me right.
Losers, prove me wrong.

358
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,421
Well, I guess that's that.

359
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,510
No. No.

360
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,262
Andy, don't go in there.

361
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:19,848
I'm going in there.

362
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:29,107
I know that every time I talk to
you things just seem to get worse.

363
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:32,736
But you don't know
these people, and I do.

364
00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:35,489
And if I let you work
with faulty information,

365
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,991
well, then I'm not doing
my job as regional manager.

366
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,996
So, please take this pen
and change your list.

367
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,957
I'm not going to
change my list, Andy.

368
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,917
And I don't use ballpoint pens.

369
00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:51,505
Well, then I will
make a new list for you.

370
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,763
Stanley, you may think
he's a lazy grump,

371
00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:02,683
but did you know that he has the
most consistently high sales numbers

372
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:04,101
of anyone in this office?

373
00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:06,162
And you may think
he's hard to love,

374
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,771
but did you know
that he's in not one,

375
00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:10,023
but two long-term
romantic relationships?

376
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,360
I did not know
about the sales figures.

377
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:15,654
Meredith Palmer,
supplier relations.

378
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,782
The word "no,"
not even in her vocabulary.

379
00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:20,218
And just to show you
that I'm being fair,

380
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,511
you had Gabe in
the loser column,

381
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,538
I think that is astute.

382
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,373
Good call.

383
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:27,958
Pam,

384
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:33,880
easily the most creative and kind
person I have ever worked with.

385
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,966
Jim, shut the door.
This is just gross.

386
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,050
Shh.

387
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:40,554
Erin hannon, the receptionist,
and my closest confidant.

388
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,639
A winner if there ever was one.

389
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,349
I like my new group.

390
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,729
I liked my old group.

391
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:49,855
Are we done?

392
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:50,939
Yes.

393
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,026
The Friday before Columbus day,

394
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,569
we're going to take a half-day.

395
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,630
So that everyone can get a
jump on the long weekend.

396
00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,574
You want a three-and-a-half
day weekend for Columbus day?

397
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,701
Yes, I do.

398
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,829
And you are aware that
Columbus and his legions

399
00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:09,583
committed genocide against an
entire civilization of native Americans?

400
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,919
I don't care.

401
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,764
Hey, guys,

402
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:28,018
so Columbus day, we
got that half-day on Friday.

403
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,811
We get that every year.

404
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,272
Well, you got it this year, too.

405
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,401
Good night, Andy. Good night.

406
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,739
Good night, Andy.

407
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,577
Good night.

408
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,745
Night.

409
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,425
All right, I'm going
to go warm up the car.

410
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,927
Okay. Okay.

411
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,806
You dropped something. Jim?

412
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,685
Okay, I know I've been
crying easily today, but...

413
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,898
I mean, that's just
pretty killer, right?

414
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,069
I mean, maybe it's stupid.

415
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,700
It's wonderful.

416
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,535
I'm going to frame it.

417
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,164
I can always UN-frame it.