1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,169 Back orders and you never called them. 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:07,257 Can you believe this? There's a dog in the car. 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,386 You can't leave a dog in a parked car! 4 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,805 Snowboarder, it figures. 5 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,348 Do snowboarders hate animals? 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,600 I bet this guy didn't leave his weed in the car. 7 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:21,187 Okay, we have to do something, because this is incredibly dangerous. 8 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,522 Oscar, it's not that hot out. 9 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,732 A car parked in the sun is like a toaster oven. 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,294 Well, we don't know how long the driver's been gone, 11 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,070 and it's not in direct sunlight. 12 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,382 So what, Andy? You want to just let him die, you scumbag? 13 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,450 Here, I'm going to get in my car. 14 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,036 When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. 15 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,830 That means save the dog. 16 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,033 Dwight: Okay, you know what? 17 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,475 I'm going to give him something to drink. 18 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,500 Come here, doggy. 19 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,668 (Whistling) 20 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,087 Come on. 21 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,172 Dwight, at least aim it. 22 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,506 There you go. Here, doggy. 23 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,151 He's not even trying. Come here, doggy, come on. 24 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,426 We're losing cloud cover. 25 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,229 Don't try to get in on it now, Michael vick. 26 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:55,263 Hey, hey, hey. Vick did his time. 27 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:58,308 This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window. 28 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,559 Get back, buddy. Get back. 29 00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:00,911 Oscar, what are you... What... no, hey! 30 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,103 (All exclaiming) 31 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,440 All right. 32 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,858 Meredith: Yeah! 33 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,610 Jim: Nice job, Oscar. 34 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,112 And one for good measure. (All gasping) 35 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,489 Yeah! 36 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,782 So, who's going to take the dog? 37 00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:16,451 Why would we take the dog? 38 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,501 What if he jumps out the window and runs away? 39 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,663 Jim, he's not going to start... (Barking) 40 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,956 Oscar: Stay, stay. 41 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,666 Nein. Sitz! 42 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,376 Gut. 43 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,700 Oscar, what do you want to do? This is kind of your deal. 44 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,130 You want a dog? 45 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,886 There we go, that should do it. 46 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,971 Yeah, it's good. It'll work. 47 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,055 Jim: Nice job. 48 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,641 Bye, poocme. Bye, doggy 49 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,392 (barking) Bye. 50 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,895 (Car horn honking) (Barking) 51 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,065 (Horn blaring) 52 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,755 What's that come to? Like, what did they each win? 53 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:13,424 Oh, man, it's gotta be over $100,000. 54 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:14,801 Yeah, before taxes. 55 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,678 Phyllis: That's still a lot of money. 56 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,722 The warehouse crew won the lottery yesterday. 57 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,767 $950, 000. 58 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,227 And then they quit. 59 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,020 And no one else can focus. 60 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,354 This is it. 61 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,731 This is all on my shoulders. 62 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,001 I'm the one who has to tell everyone to get back to work. 63 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,611 I'm the one who has to tell Darryl to hire a new warehouse crew. 64 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,864 I'm the one who has to say those things. 65 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,033 (Cell phone vibrating) 66 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,452 Hello? 67 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,373 Justine. (Laughing) 68 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,709 Nice surprise. How you doing, baby? 69 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:51,796 No, no, no. I didn't win. 70 00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:53,298 When I got promoted, I stopped... 71 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,424 What? 72 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,176 Yeah, Glenn won. 73 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:02,140 You want to call him? Yeah, you should call him. 74 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,725 Congratulate him. That would be... 75 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:05,727 What? 76 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:09,188 His number is in your old phone. 77 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,041 Oh, you know what? I might have it right... 78 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,150 (Phone beeping off) Whoops. 79 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,820 When I worked in the warehouse, I was part of that lotto pool. 80 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,697 They won 81 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,283 playing my birthday. 82 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,494 What really interests me is the group dynamic of six people 83 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,579 winning the lottery. 84 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,848 This will not end well, right? 85 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:26,998 Yeah. 86 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,475 We're looking at, at least one suicide 87 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,293 and one weird sex thing. At least. 88 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,313 I don't even know what I'd do with all that money. 89 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,731 I know what you'd do with all that money. 90 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,591 "Hey, Pam. Let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug." 91 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:39,052 No, I'd probably buy a big piece of land in Maine, 92 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,137 build a house, work in town. 93 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,681 Somewhere I could bike to or kayak to. 94 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,933 I'd either bike to my job at the kayak shop 95 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,019 or I'd kayak to my job at the bike shop. 96 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,538 And then on the weekends, would you hacky sack 97 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,722 back to reality and spend time with your wife and kids? 98 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,192 Whoa, saucy, ithoughtyou liked Maine. 99 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,653 I think we should get a townhouse in soho. 100 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,154 Soho's mostly lofts, but okay. 101 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,407 And then, every morning, I'd walk out onto my terrace, 102 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,202 and I would breathe in the inspiration of the city. 103 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,538 You know, and just gather ideas for my painting. 104 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,748 Oh, god. 105 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,541 And then my handsome husband... 106 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,834 Which, ideally, would be me. 107 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,062 Would bring me a flavored coffee. 108 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,463 Stop. I'm a barista in your fantasy? 109 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,441 Well, in your fantasy, we're Stephen King characters. 110 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:18,758 I don't know about Stephen King. 111 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,968 Get a divorce. Get a divorce. 112 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,887 I think I would keep working. 113 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:26,474 And for my salary, I guess I would take, like, $1 a year. 114 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,894 Obviously, iwouldn't come in till noon. 115 00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:31,979 And I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to do. 116 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,442 I mean, I'm getting paid $1 a year, okay? You can chill. 117 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,945 Are you kidding me? 118 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,465 Guys, if I have to ask you to get back to work one more time, 119 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,366 I'm gonna change my tone. 120 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,368 (In deep voice) To down here, like Mr. T. 121 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,662 And this would get seriously annoying. 122 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,889 I feel sympathy for the jerks who have to listen to this all day. 123 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,250 Darryl. 124 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,769 How we doing on the new warehouse guys? 125 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,836 I don't know. 126 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,255 What... do we have new guys? 127 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,716 Are they on their way over? 128 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,800 I haven't hired anyone. 129 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,427 What? No warehouse guys? 130 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,762 I have an important order that has to go out by 5:00. 131 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,431 I e-mailed you about it. 132 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,349 I'm not checking e-mail till lunch. 133 00:05:09,016 --> 00:05:10,226 Four hour work week. 134 00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:11,662 Andy: This is kind of time-sensitive. 135 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,979 I got it. I'm doing it. 136 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,858 Andy, this is a seriously big order. I can't lose this client. 137 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,544 All right, well, until we have a new crew, 138 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,129 let's get some volunteers for warehouse duty. 139 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,195 Who's in? 140 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,840 As long as you guys don't need me up here. 141 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,699 I think we'll be fine. No, we don't. 142 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,143 Really? Nobody's going to help her? 143 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,245 Is chivalry dead? Are you volunteering? 144 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:31,372 Of course, I would. 145 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,791 But my hip... 146 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,293 I would kill to be at 100%. 147 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,419 Andy: Jim, how about you? 148 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:37,670 Yeah. I mean, 149 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,982 as the strongest person in this office, I guess I should... 150 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,466 Okay, no, no. 151 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,260 That... you are so not... oh, god. 152 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,386 (Grunts) 153 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,848 False. Andy, I will volunteer. 154 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,308 Great. 155 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,017 And Kevin. 156 00:05:52,059 --> 00:05:53,060 (Sighing) 157 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:57,231 Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. 158 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:58,983 Well, guess what? 159 00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:01,903 I will not do a good job. 160 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:06,991 Sure. Thank you. 161 00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:08,242 Wait, wait. What's this? 162 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,703 Oh, sorry. 163 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,206 I thought it was a guess-your-baby's-birth-weight pool. 164 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,042 It says "lotto pool" right on top. 165 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,752 Yeah, and I said sorry. 166 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,420 Oh, come on. 167 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,507 You really think I'm going to have a 14-pound baby? 168 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,806 (Knocking) 169 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,266 When did I get so fat? 170 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,810 You look awesome. 171 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,704 I didn't hire anyone, if that's why you're here. 172 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,938 Where are we in the process? 173 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,856 I have a file of applicants here. 174 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,526 I just gotta open it, look at it, 175 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,444 interview a bunch of guys, hire some of them. 176 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,780 So I say we're in the early stages of the process. 177 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,821 Did you go out celebrating with the guys last night? 178 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,675 They guys did invite me out to celebrate, 179 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,954 but I decided to just stay home. 180 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,623 Eat a bunch of tacos in my basement. 181 00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:57,667 You do have a fantastic basement. 182 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,793 I did. 183 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,129 I did have a fantastic basement. 184 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,466 Now it smells like tacos. 185 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,135 You can't air out a basement. 186 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,429 And taco air is heavy. 187 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,849 It settles at the lowest point. 188 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,186 Right. Um. 189 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,147 Well, how about we take a look at some applications? 190 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,859 This guy wrote his in green ink. 191 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,222 That's pretty cool. Check it out. 192 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:30,741 Hey. 193 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,910 There you go. There he is. 194 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,038 That is not Darryl. 195 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,416 I don't know where Darryl is. I suspect, probably, 196 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:42,003 our Darryl is inside of fat Darryl. 197 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:46,215 Okay, 300 boxes of 20-pound white. 198 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,094 That's 75 boxes per person. So, that's not so bad. 199 00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:51,178 Negafive. 200 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,473 Three hundred boxes for me, zero for you chumps. 201 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,766 Deal with it. 202 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,144 Nice. 203 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,147 Oh, oh, oh! 204 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,317 Damn. 205 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,360 (Screaming) 206 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:18,873 Yup. 207 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,087 Welcome, everybody. 208 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:29,133 My name is Andy, and this is my other brother, Darryl. 209 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,679 What? No newhart fans? 210 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,514 Okay. 211 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,558 Darryl, how do we usually kick these things off? 212 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,395 You mean, what did we do the last time the warehouse won the lottery? 213 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,897 Your old crew won the lottery? 214 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:48,319 Does anyone have experience shelving, storing, keeping track... 215 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,002 What do we use? The Dewey decimal system? 216 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,323 Wait, wait. So, ahthe old guys quit? 217 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,491 Oh, yeah. Well... 218 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:56,619 One of them, Glenn, is starting one of those fat camps 219 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,430 where he steals your kid in the middle of the night. 220 00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:01,207 Madge and a couple other guys might start a strip club. 221 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,500 But on a boat. 222 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:07,755 And hide is investing in an energy drink for Asian homosexuals. 223 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:08,965 (Laughing nervously) 224 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,676 Could you guys give us a minute? 225 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,470 But stay close. You're all doing great. 226 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,682 Maybe grab a coffee, or if there's any donuts out, 227 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:18,808 you can split one. 228 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,602 You know, they're for everybody, so people get fussy. 229 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,438 You know what? Just have a donut. 230 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,218 Do you want to talk about this not-winning-the-lottery thing? 231 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,242 I don't. 232 00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:40,955 You sure? 'Cause you keep talking about it, so... 233 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,166 Nope. I'm good. I'm here. 234 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,877 Let's find some warehouse workers. Good, great. 235 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,256 Then, can you say things that aren't, like, a huge bummer to everybody? 236 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,610 'Cause the more I talk, the more they're going to realize 237 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,034 I don't know what I'm talking about. 238 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,095 Okay. 239 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,763 We need you, okay? Okay. 240 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:58,848 Okay? Yeah. 241 00:09:58,931 --> 00:09:59,974 All right. 242 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,060 (Grunting) 243 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,186 Ah! 244 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,523 What's the problem? 245 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,688 Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. 246 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,569 Ask any female tennis player, 247 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,987 or her husband. 248 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,655 (Yelling) 249 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,284 I didn't feel anything. 250 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,248 Andy: All right, thank you for coming back in again. 251 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,561 Now, we're going to ask you a few questions. Darryl, you have the floor. 252 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,753 Why do you want to work here? 253 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:29,962 I need a job. 254 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,088 It's not a good reason. 255 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,173 Good. 256 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,506 Keeping them honest. 257 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,509 Don't just take the first job that comes your way. 258 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,472 'Cause next thing you know, it's 10 years later, and you're still there. 259 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,807 You could write your obituary tomorrow. 260 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,017 It's not going to change. 261 00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:46,729 Are we scaring them straight? 262 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:47,855 I hope so. 263 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,106 Think about this carefully. 264 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,525 There's better lives than this one. 265 00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,408 I've never been lucky. 266 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,927 And I'm not talking about the lottery. 267 00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:05,706 I'm talking about stuff like developing a soy allergy at 35. 268 00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:09,502 Who gets a soy allergy at 35? 269 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,879 And why is soy in everything? 270 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,466 Nice, right back where I like you. 271 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,593 Can you make 10 copies of this for me? No. 272 00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,053 Why not? What are you doing? 273 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,180 Buying lottery tickets online. 274 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,264 (Chuckung) 275 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,560 Everyone wants to be rich, but nobody wants to work for it. 276 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:28,872 You came in at 10:30 today, right? 277 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,815 Okay, I'll just do this myself. 278 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,487 Is everyone licensed? Like a driver's license? 279 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,114 No, warehouse license. 280 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,242 Masters in warehouse sciences? 281 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:44,662 I feel that Darryl has talked about a license of some kind. 282 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:47,748 Is this a joke? No. Notjoking. 283 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,083 This is real. 284 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,628 Painfully real, what is happening right now. 285 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,967 Okay, I'm not going to make it. I'm turning back. 286 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,594 There's gotta be a better way to do this. 287 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,405 This is literally how they built the pyramids. 288 00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:04,557 Well, they whipped people, which was helpful. 289 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,077 But you're right. We should be able to find a more efficient way 290 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,936 of moving boxes than madge or hide. 291 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,020 Yeah. 292 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,606 Not that they're not smart people. 293 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,942 No, no, very smart... 294 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,545 Theirs is more of a physical intelligence. 295 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,570 I'd go with that. 296 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,863 Like baboons or elephants. 297 00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,072 Not that, don't... 298 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,993 Guys, when I was a kid, my sisters used to butter me up 299 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,746 and slide me across the linoleum roor of the kitchen. 300 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,582 It really made them laugh. 301 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,708 It's a great idea, kev. 302 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:31,810 I don't think it applies here, though. 303 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:32,835 So, maybe we just... 304 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,462 Yeah, we move stuff and have fun. 305 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,714 Kevin, doesn't apply. 306 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,424 Right, my mom... 307 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,010 You need to drop it, okay? 308 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,386 They hate it. 309 00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:45,139 I like it a lot, but they hate it, so drop it. 310 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:52,605 Does anyone get distracted easily by bubble wrap? 311 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:54,982 (Laughing) 312 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,653 You'll be dealing with lots of bubble wrap, obviously. Um... 313 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,322 How much longer is this going to take? 314 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,658 Did you hire them? 315 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,994 No, because they all left. 316 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,996 What do you mean they left? 317 00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:11,790 I mean, after you bailed, 318 00:13:12,499 --> 00:13:15,169 I got confused, and frankly, a little weird. 319 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,631 And the stuff that you said certainly didn't help. 320 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,674 Then I think you should fire me. 321 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,653 What are you talking about? I'm not going to fire you. 322 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,596 Yeah, just put me out of my misery. 323 00:13:29,516 --> 00:13:32,102 Okay, this is weird. I don't get the joke. 324 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,604 No? Okay. 325 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,192 I don't want to be here anymore. 326 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,861 Fire me. 327 00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:48,035 So Darryl says to me, "fire me," 328 00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:50,704 but what he really means is, 329 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:54,163 "I'm going to say something really weird, try and figure out what it means." 330 00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,086 So I say, "no, you're not fired." 331 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,255 But what I really mean is, 332 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,757 "I've no idea what you're talking about. 333 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,777 "But I'm going to go ahead and hire some people 334 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,562 "for the warehouse and hope that you eventually start feeling better." 335 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,934 I really hope that's what he and I mean. 336 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:14,812 Attention. 337 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,957 Does anyone know anyone who could work in the warehouse? 338 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,023 We can pay. 339 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,817 Come on, Oscar. 340 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,902 Who's the most jacked guy in all of Scranton? 341 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,445 Like your wildest fantasy guy? 342 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,738 Bulk or definition? 343 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,030 Definition. 344 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,200 Bruce kenward. He hangs out at planet fitness. 345 00:14:28,575 --> 00:14:30,661 Are those just show muscles, or is he really strong? 346 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:31,912 Oh, he's plenty strong. 347 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,499 It used to be Reggie winters out at gold's gym. 348 00:14:35,582 --> 00:14:36,583 But he moved away. 349 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,086 And then it was between Bruce and this guy, Dean. 350 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,757 But Dean got fixated on his calves, 351 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,842 and, uh_. 352 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,303 And his triceps went to hell. 353 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,513 So, I've been thinking, 354 00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:51,557 after we win the lottery, we take our winnings... 355 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,641 Our fake winnings. 356 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,393 And we move to the south of France. 357 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,396 See... no, there's plenty of bicycling for you. 358 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,707 I think that's where they do the tour de France. 359 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,773 His, yeah. 360 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,042 I mean, I just don't know why I'm compromising 361 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,067 if it's my fantasy. 362 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,486 Because in my fantasy, it's Maine, and you love it. 363 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,050 Because I'm never going to act like that, even in your fantasy. 364 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,784 Nope, you're doing a great job of it in my fantasy right now. 365 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,537 Hey, idiot, what did Erin want again? 366 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,581 A hot chocolate tea. 367 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:20,252 Gideon, you are a phd candidate 368 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,213 studying america's diminishing que-collar workforce? 369 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,423 North America. 370 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:28,135 And "diminishing" is a little reductive, but, sure, that's the headline version. 371 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:29,845 Great. 372 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,140 Well, it will bring a fresh, new perspective to the warehouse. 373 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,393 Fyi, Wednesday through Friday, I have a pretty full teaching schedule. 374 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,812 Oh, cool. We'll figure that out. 375 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,606 Also, fyi, 376 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,235 I don't technically have a hearing problem. 377 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:49,656 But sometimes, when there's a lot of noises occurring at the same time, 378 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,658 I'll hear them as one big jumble. 379 00:15:52,659 --> 00:15:54,912 Again, it's not that I can't hear. 380 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:56,663 Because that's false, I can. 381 00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,793 Um, I just can't distinguish between everything I'm hearing. 382 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,087 Got it. Duly noted. 383 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,171 You, 384 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:07,257 coolest tank top I have ever seen. Where did you get that? 385 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,009 Made it. So cool. 386 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,511 What a cross section we have here. 387 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,113 It's what I love about interviewing. 388 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,323 I get to meet all these people 389 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,350 I wouldn't ordinarily meet, or know or even talk to. 390 00:16:16,683 --> 00:16:18,435 Message in a bottle, the postman... 391 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,646 Kevin costner. Kevin costner, yeah. 392 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:27,945 I found this grease. 393 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,447 And then I remembered that you thought it was a great idea. 394 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,366 You did say it was a great idea. 395 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,534 I heard you say it. 396 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,414 So it's not the dumbest idea. 397 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,682 Dwight: It's not the greatest one... 398 00:16:39,706 --> 00:16:41,792 But the fact remains, we gotta move these boxes. 399 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,836 And it's clear we're not going to carry them. 400 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,631 So sadly, it's the best ideaonthetame. Exactly. 401 00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:50,259 Kevin: Hey, I think we're ready to get this... 402 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,302 Jim? Is he okay? 403 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,554 He'll be fine. 404 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,559 Surprise! Your new crew. 405 00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:01,061 Would you just fire me, man? 406 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,815 Hey, why? Because you didn't win the lottery? 407 00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:07,377 How am I supposed to make you happy? 408 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,194 You want to make me happy? Huh? 409 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:10,486 Yeah. Give me your job. 410 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,739 Haha. What? I'll do it better than you. 411 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,492 I earned it, I deserve it, 412 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,453 I got passed over, god knows why. 413 00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:20,456 Reasons I cannot and will not understand. 414 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,917 The job was mine, Andy. Everyone said it was mine. 415 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,504 Make me manager or fire me. 416 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,423 I'm not going to give you my job. 417 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,049 It's my job! I earned it! 418 00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,970 And here's the thing. You weren't even next in line. 419 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,805 I asked about you. I saw your file. 420 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,533 You have a history of being short with people, 421 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,642 and you hired Glenn, your buddy, 422 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,060 to replace you in the warehouse. 423 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,271 He was under-qualified. They saw that. 424 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,148 Also, Darryl, fyi, 425 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,816 I already told this to Andy, 426 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,109 but you should probably know 427 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,987 I technically don't have a hearing problem. 428 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,741 It's just when there's a lot of noises... Nate. Please. 429 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,274 Thank you. (Inaudible mumbling) 430 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,081 You have no business education. 431 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,918 You were going to take classes under Deangelo. What happened to that? 432 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,044 He died. 433 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,670 He didn't die, his brain died. 434 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,756 And my brain is still very much alive. 435 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,883 And I'd be happy to give you business classes. 436 00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:14,444 How come you haven't asked me about it? 437 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,844 What was... what was the last... 438 00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:17,888 I'm having a... 439 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,307 No part of this has anything to do with you. 440 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,102 I didn't have time because of my daughter. 441 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,104 But you had time for a softball clinic. 442 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,624 And a mediterranean cooking class. 443 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,877 Hey, I'm not going to tell you this stuff if you're going to throw it back in my face! 444 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,069 Hey, here's the thing. 445 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,696 Jo saw something in you. She loved you. 446 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,450 She gave you a shot, and then you stopped pushing. 447 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,077 She noticed. 448 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,253 Okay. 449 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:50,337 Okay, what? 450 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,841 Okay, don't fire me. 451 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:00,514 Okay. 452 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:05,435 My future's not going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. 453 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,730 It's going to be determined by two big black balls. 454 00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,358 I control my destiny. 455 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:13,694 I do. 456 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,488 I'll put some guys on tonight. 457 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,824 The best of your bunch and my bunch. 458 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,094 I'll tell you now, though, it's going to be mostly my bunch. 459 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,869 Yeah, that makes sense. 460 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,538 Okay, good. All right. 461 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,081 Dwight: Are they here? 462 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,708 What is going on? 463 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:28,792 Oh, hey, guys. 464 00:19:28,875 --> 00:19:30,669 Why is the forklift in the wall? 465 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,087 Andy: Why is the truck empty? 466 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,630 It's not totally empty. 467 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,881 Is that grease on my floor? 468 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,926 Okay. 469 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,154 I can see why you're angry. You're coming into this cold. 470 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:43,807 But believe me, a lot of thought went into this. 471 00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:46,393 And did your brains tell you to ruin these boxes with grease? 472 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,894 Okay, Darryl. 473 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,647 Listen, and then you will understand. 474 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:54,026 The boxes were ruined during our first trial testing. 475 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,653 So now, it's cool, 'cause we found another use for them. 476 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,488 Okay, all right. 477 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,408 That's... look, all we were trying to do is we thought we could come up 478 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,076 with a more efficient way to do things. 479 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,620 And? 480 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,829 And we did. I don't know. 481 00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:08,123 Jim, tell them what it's called. 482 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:10,167 That's all right. 483 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,561 No, Jim, tell them what the name is. 484 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,086 Doesn't matter what the name is. 485 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,214 Sefior loadenstein, that's stupid. 486 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,342 Sefior loadenstein. 487 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,010 Tell them why it's called that, Jim. 488 00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,803 That's okay, we're good. 489 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,265 No, Jim, tell us why it's called sefior loadenstein. 490 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,518 Porque es muy répido. 491 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,913 Dwight: Okay, you know what? It's been a real busy day. 492 00:20:30,937 --> 00:20:32,040 What do you say we put all this away? 493 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,565 Let me see it. 494 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,192 It's in beta testing. 495 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,443 Let me see it! 496 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,527 Get the thing, go! 497 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,905 Lube it up. Kevin, start mopping. 498 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,282 All: Uno, dos, tres. 499 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,455 Yeah. I lost my client. 500 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,044 I already won the lottery. I was born in the us of a, baby. 501 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,254 And as backup, I have a Swiss passport. 502 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,174 I would spend a lot of time 503 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,469 launching my true crime podcast, "the Flenderson files." 504 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:03,970 Duh-buh-bum. 505 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:05,972 Flenderson files. 506 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,391 We came to an agreement. 507 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:10,060 We're going to live in a stunning pre-war brownstone 508 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,269 at the top of a mountain. 509 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,896 Right, it's city and country combined. 510 00:21:12,979 --> 00:21:15,857 Just a subway stop away are the best museums in the world. 511 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:19,319 And I can fish right from the window of Pam's pottery studio. 512 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,488 We can chat any time we want. 513 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:22,864 Just like now. 514 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,491 Just like now. 515 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,929 It's too bad the schools are terrible, but what are you going to do about that? 516 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,954 What are you going to do?