1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:04,922 Christmas time is here! 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,591 Wow! Thanks, guys. That sounded amazing. 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:12,930 Hi, I'm Andy Bernard, and I am the first office Santa ever 4 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,140 to make holiday wishes come true. 5 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,434 Who's excited to get their holiday wishes? 6 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,103 Holiday wishes. What's that, Stanley? 7 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,065 We know exactly what holiday you're referring to. 8 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,861 It is important to be mindful of all belief systems at our holiday party. 9 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,322 I've been here 18 years, and I've suffered 10 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,574 through some weird thematic christmases. 11 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,078 A honqulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, 12 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,206 a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, 13 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,999 mo rocca Christmas. 14 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,167 I don't want it. 15 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,753 Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas. 16 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,048 I got Stanley tickets to see Lewis black for his birthday. 17 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,552 Might not have been the best idea. 18 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,887 I don't want no kwanzaa wreath. 19 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,640 I don't need a dreidel in my face. That's its own thing. 20 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,559 And who's that black Santa for? 21 00:00:58,809 --> 00:00:59,810 I don't care. 22 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,938 I know Santa ain't black. I could care less. 23 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,024 I want Christmas. Just give me plain 24 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,819 baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger Christmas. 25 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,624 What is the status on my wish? Fulfilled. 26 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:25,669 Brought my bicycle so I can be your designated driver later, 27 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,298 in the event that you drink too much, which is by no means required. 28 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,442 What about my wish that we don't have to attend meetings 29 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,135 that degrade our sense of adulthood? 30 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,386 That, I cannot do. 31 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,180 But I did get you an acre of property on the moon. 32 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,516 Where, dark side or light side? 33 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,060 Light side. Is it by the sea of tranquillity? 34 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,605 As a matter of fact, yes. Directly adjacent. 35 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,316 Beachfiont thank you, Andy 36 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,360 so whose wish is next? What about Santa's wish? 37 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:54,531 My biggest wish is that you all get along well with Jessica. 38 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,036 Come on, guys, Jessica. 39 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,330 Jim, tell them who Jessica is. 40 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,141 She's not your grandmother, is she? 41 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,000 Gam-gam's name is Ruth, Jim. 42 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,295 You should know. I introduced you on speakerphone that time. 43 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,505 Jessica is my super serious girlfriend, 44 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,216 who is seriously awesome and seriously sexy. 45 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,303 Only thing that's not serious, by the way, our repartee. 46 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,472 That's great. When you know, you know. 47 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,973 Hey, what's Ruth's deal, man? 48 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,850 Totally out of your league. 49 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,186 So, in summation, ho ho ho, 50 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,979 please be nice to Jessica, and mistletoe 51 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,814 is not an excuse for sexual assault. 52 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,733 And don't go near gam-gam. 53 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,655 I love Jessica, and I haven't even met her yet. 54 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,199 It's like, we don't even need to meet, you know? 55 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,326 I already love you. Stay home. 56 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,014 I just want you to know that I will be mean 57 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,223 to Jessica, if you want me to be. 58 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,540 Oh, no, no, it's fine, Kelly. 59 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,061 It's really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to her. 60 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,685 That's okay, I don't want you to do that. 61 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,463 Hello. 62 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,299 Merry Christmas, Erin. 63 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,010 Kelly, happy pancha ganapati. 64 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,136 Ew. What is that? 65 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,972 The five day hindu celebration in December, 66 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,892 honoring the god Ganesh, patron of the arts. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,686 Cool. 68 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,396 Hey, man. Hey. 69 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,106 How you holding up? 70 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,858 Because of your wife leaving you. 71 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,110 Kevin. 72 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,696 I actually appreciate the human intimacy. 73 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,031 I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla. 74 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,157 Yeah. 75 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,993 It's been 10 days since I had sexual intercourse. 76 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,621 Andy: Well, you came to the right place. 77 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,416 It... this party will cheer you right up. 78 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,460 I hope so. The corporate party was wretched. 79 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:34,214 I am so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. 80 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,442 It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll. 81 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,802 It's rap for people who don't like rap. 82 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,471 It's pop for people who don't like pop. 83 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,225 Heartbreaking. 84 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,435 Oh. Thank you. 85 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:55,610 Well, I hate to have to take my Santa hat off and put on my hard ass hat, 86 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,905 but this is serious. 87 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,743 It's come to my attention that somebody who shall remain nameless 88 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,703 wants to switch desk clumps. 89 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,539 Fine with me. Jim can leave any time he wants. 90 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,790 Good-bye. Wasn't me. 91 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,208 It wasn't either of you. 92 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,877 Cathy wants to leave our clump? 93 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,922 Don't look. Who it was is not important. 94 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,592 But she did say that your constant pranking 95 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,011 and one-upsmanship is driving her crazy. 96 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,181 She or he. I just want to say this is not my fault. 97 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,475 Okay, the weak always bully the strong, 98 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,185 contrary to what you see in the media. 99 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,395 I am always acting in self-defense. 100 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,731 Occasionally preemptive self-defense. 101 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,400 Ow! What are you doing? Hey! Hey! 102 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,818 Respect the hat. 103 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,088 Pam never seemed to have a problem with us. 104 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,824 All right. I'm gonna speak in a language you both understand. 105 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,451 Moe-nay. 106 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,536 What was it? What is it? 107 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,038 Money. 108 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,875 You both have sizable Christmas bonuses coming your way. 109 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,519 If I catch either of you messing with the other, 110 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,670 I will give both bonuses to the other person. 111 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,298 Can't do that. No, absolutely not. 112 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:02,135 You need consequences. Okay, I want you both walking on eggshells. 113 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:08,391 Hi, I'm Jessica. I'm looking for Andy. 114 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,978 Jessica, yes. We don't say hi. We hug. 115 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,400 I'm Erin. Sorry. Ooh! 116 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,647 I hope you feel really welcome. We all want you here. 117 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,073 My ex is meeting my sex. 118 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,784 Which is always scary. 119 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,621 You know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. 120 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,873 That's just part of it. 121 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,042 Hey! Jess, Erin. 122 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,725 I hope you're not talking about my penis. 123 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,878 Hi. 124 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,923 Hey, everyone, I want you to meet Jessica. 125 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,093 She is an assistant cross-country coach at Bryn mawr. 126 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,427 Wow. 127 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,472 Erin, by the way, amazing receptionist. 128 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,517 Oh, that's great. Backbone of the office. 129 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,662 Which is funny, actually, because my spine is a mess. 130 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,728 What? 131 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,983 Scoliosis. Had to wear a back brace for three years, but I never did. 132 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,779 Oh, no. 133 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,823 Oh, no, it's kicking in. 134 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,366 Spontaneous scoliosis. 135 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,993 Spontaneous scoliosis. 136 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,457 This thing could take your arm off, your head off. 137 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,876 You know, just exercise caution. 138 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,085 Thank you. All right. 139 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,503 All right. 140 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,881 Oh, yeah, 141 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,985 and there's a Christmas party upstairs tonight I wanted to tell you about. 142 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,552 Isn't that just for popsicles? 143 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:26,887 Popsicles? 144 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,530 Yeah, like, upstairs people. 'Cause you got a stick up your butt. 145 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,851 Ah. See, I thought it was because they're all so rich 146 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,228 they could eat popsicles all the time. 147 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,480 What? I... in my... 148 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,025 Well, you should definitely come. The foreman always comes. 149 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,361 Plus it's fun, you know, cookies, smoked fish, 150 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,363 alcohol, people acting stupid. 151 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,700 You had me at "clookies." I can't wait to find out what they are. 152 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,160 What should I wear? 153 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,580 Oh, it's nice. It's real nice. People get dressed up. 154 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,499 I will look so handsome for you, Darryl. 155 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,846 I'm gonna... 156 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,853 Dwight really wants my bonus. 157 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,356 He's trying to entrap me. 158 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,859 Oh, god, now I can't drink at this thing. 159 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,113 I get really pranky when I drink. 160 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,282 Erin, what can I get for you? 161 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,035 Do you have cola? Kirkland, if you have it. 162 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,995 Why would you come to a bar and ask for a cola 163 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,997 when you can get some from the kitchen? 164 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,501 Did some small part of you want something a little stronger? 165 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:44,381 Ryan, Kevin, Phyllis, Oscar, come and take these shots. 166 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:45,799 All: Yes! 167 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,050 Will do. 168 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,720 The fifth one is for you, Erin. You can take it or leave it. 169 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,556 To take it would be to accept that you're 170 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,517 at a party, and you're an adult woman 171 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,520 and you have an adventurous spirit. 172 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,188 To leave it would be fine, too. 173 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,565 One, two, three. Yes. 174 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,900 Okay. 175 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,902 Wow! 176 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,570 Whoo! Hey, hey, nice. 177 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,990 Jiminy Christmas! 178 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,117 Jiminy Christmas, indeed. 179 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,577 Hit her up. Oh, yes. 180 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,579 Yeah. Robert: Wow! 181 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,710 Yeah, I just got my replacement credit card. 182 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,923 Do you want the number? Oh, it's 4-7-9-3 183 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:31,845 0-0-3-2-3-3-1-3. 184 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,433 The security code is 9-2-7. 185 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,435 Okay, great, thank you very much. 186 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,442 So Dwight did take the bait. 187 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:51,406 He used my credit card numbers to send a $200 bouquet of flowers 188 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,700 to my wife. 189 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,160 From me. 190 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,708 Boom! 191 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,151 Ryan: Look, it's Christmas, so you're allowed... 192 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,880 Hello. 193 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,557 I meant dressed up compared to normal. 194 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,476 You usually dress like a ghostbuster. 195 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,519 Okay. I thought you'd wear a sweater. 196 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,323 Since when does a sweater mean "dressed up"? 197 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,355 Am I your grandson? 198 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,482 Come on, stay, all right? 199 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,125 It's good for people to get to know you. 200 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:30,111 As a contestant on dancing with the stars maybe. 201 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:35,325 I want my sugar-free cookie, and then I want a sugar cookie. 202 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,660 And then I want my nap. 203 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,245 That's right. 204 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,331 Thank you. 205 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,124 She is remarkable. 206 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,627 Edgy impressions. Thank you. 207 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,670 How many drinks have you had tonight? 208 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,297 I can't be driving everybody home. 209 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,424 A thousand. Woah! 210 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,010 Maybe you should take a break. 211 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,554 Maybe you should mind your own business. 212 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,682 Just kidding. 213 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,979 Ah! I've been attacked! 214 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,149 Oh, my god. Someone put a porcupine in my drawer. 215 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,650 Oscar: Oh, my god. 216 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,862 Yeah, I was just sitting here at my desk, and I reached into my drawer 217 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,240 to grab my toothbrush and some tooth powder, 218 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,450 and all of a sudden, I was attacked 219 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,702 by this bloodthirsty rabid creature. 220 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,373 I wonder, in this office, who has access to a porcupine? 221 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,709 Or who in this office knows that I have access 222 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,628 and is trying to set me up? 223 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,673 Hmm. You know, this sounds a lot like the premise 224 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,758 of my latest Chad flenderman novel, 225 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,510 a murder for framing. 226 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,471 Chad flenderman. Just an easy-going black guy who knows 227 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,765 the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. 228 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:46,938 So just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on air force one. 229 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,359 And he's also the world's leading egyptologist. 230 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:56,281 Toby, nobody cares about your sex-crazed black detective. 231 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:59,409 No, no, no, no, no, women chase him. He misses his wife. 232 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,744 Hello, lacerated hand here, folks. 233 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,079 Nice try. This is ridiculous. 234 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,330 Oh, is it really? 235 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,624 Two separate times you have set me up to believe 236 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,710 that I was being recruited by the CIA. 237 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,670 Three times, actually. You see? 238 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,189 Jim, this has your fingerprints all over it. 239 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,399 Andy, you've got to be kidding me. 240 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,550 Fingerprints can be planted. 241 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,902 You know, with a severed hand... 242 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,154 Do you think that's what happened? 243 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,363 Do you think he used a severed hand? 244 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,723 Okay, you know what, why don't we just call animal control? 245 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,434 You might want to run that by Angela. 'Cause it's so cute. 246 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:28,313 No. Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs. 247 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,415 Yes, I'm calling from dunder Mifflin. 248 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,192 We have a very rabid porcupine in our office. 249 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,586 Someone should come pick it up. 250 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,611 Come down right away. 251 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,779 I don't know, let me ask. Were you quilled? 252 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:37,864 Yes, I was quilled. 253 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,324 And what's its name? Hennefia. 254 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,243 What? Uh... 255 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,246 All right. Get her out of here, Dwight. 256 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,549 Hey. 257 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,302 Guys, I just wanted to say... Come here. 258 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,223 I am so happy you guys are together. Okay? 259 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,808 And you both have such beautiful hair. 260 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,894 Thank you. 261 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,979 I hope you guys get married. 262 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,566 And who knows? Maybe at the wedding, I meet someone. 263 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:14,943 Okay. 264 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:18,071 And later on tonight, I hope I see you guys kiss. 265 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,159 Yay. 266 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,745 Okay, well, I'm gonna go do another reverse spit. 267 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,332 That's how the cool kids say "get a drink." 268 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,713 Thafs_. That's the girl you dated? 269 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,884 Yeah, she's not always like that. It's... 270 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,303 No, she seems fun. 271 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,640 Yeah, excuse me. Okay. 272 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,518 Hey. Hey. 273 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,437 Have you had anything to eat besides candy canes? 274 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:52,939 Every Martini has an olive. 275 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,232 Okay. 276 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,776 Maybe I should make you some oatmeal or something. 277 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,696 I don't want to put you out, but if someone's making oatmeal, 278 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,030 I'll take an apple cinnamon 279 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,117 and a maple brown sugar in one bowl with whole milk. 280 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,202 Hey, I never told you my Christmas wish. 281 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,996 Okay. It's about you. 282 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:12,208 That's not what it should be. It should just be like a trinket or something. 283 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,712 It's that I wish Jessica was dead. 284 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,716 You mean you wish she wasn't here or something. 285 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:23,803 I wish she was in a graveyard under the ground 286 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,180 with worms coming out of her mouth. 287 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,310 Hey, you know, you can't say that, okay? 288 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,729 That's my girlfriend that you're talking about. 289 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,148 You and I are not together anymore. 290 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,693 You need to get over it. Take your wish back. 291 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,654 Too late. It's already been wished. 292 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,408 And you promised it would come true. You wrote it in an e-mail! 293 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:49,704 So which one are you, a murderer or a liar? 294 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,089 Hey. Hey. 295 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,342 So there was talk of oatmeal. 296 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,266 You know, don't listen to what anyone is saying. 297 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,061 You look like a Princess. 298 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,021 Yeah. Thanks. 299 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,941 I was too embarrassed. 300 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,779 Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt. I just found this on my desk 301 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,781 and need to talk to somebody about it. 302 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,324 Can you believe that? 303 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,284 Is that Cece? Yes, it is. 304 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,119 Oh, man. That's awful. 305 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,788 Cece is Jim's daughter. 306 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,039 Oh, my god. 307 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,540 How could somebody do that? 308 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,893 I know. I mean, the way I see it is, 309 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,144 you can deface any picture of me. 310 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,795 Any one. Pick one. Not my kid, though. 311 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,296 Who did this? Who did this? 312 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,607 Do you know who did this? I don't... 313 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,175 I know who did this. Dwight. 314 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,468 Dwight? Yeah, he did. 315 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,612 Oscar: What? No. He should pay. 316 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,471 He is gonna pay. This is fire-able. 317 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,972 Okay. Andy: It's... I mean... 318 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,158 Let me just see it one more time. 319 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:55,228 You know what? I know who my friends are now. 320 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,789 But I shouldn't have got you involved. 321 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,124 Because the truth is, I don't even really care about this picture. 322 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,400 It's a little out of focus. 323 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,127 It was probably an accident, right? Like... 324 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,361 That's no accident. 325 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,989 Right. You're right. So maybe it was me who did it. By accident. 326 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,200 What? I'll figure it out. 327 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,161 Get to the bottom of it. Merry merry. 328 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,833 Enough of this garbage. 329 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,920 This is Christmas. 330 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,246 Christmas! 331 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,086 You all right, Santa? 332 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,606 You know those movies where two friends 333 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,381 are sleeping together and it's like, 334 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,008 hey, can they stay friends? 335 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,176 Yes. 336 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,278 Do you think two friends who are 337 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,822 not sleeping together can stay friends? 338 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,014 Two friends who are not sleeping together, 339 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,891 can they remain friends? Yes, yeah. 340 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,560 No. I... I don't know. 341 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,811 Okay. By the way, 342 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,105 I'm not gonna mess with your and Dwight's bonuses. 343 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,274 I think it's causing more problems. 344 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,151 So just be yourselves, have fun, 345 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,111 and try not to let it affect your work. 346 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,072 All right. I will definitely do that. 347 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,406 All right. I'll tell Dwight. 348 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,213 You know what? You're sitting and thinking. 349 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,120 And it's probably better if it comes from me anyway. 350 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,373 Christmas miracles do happen. 351 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,500 Yes, they totally do. 352 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,438 You can't click on these Kardashian links. 353 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,880 That's why you have so many viruses. 354 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,173 Well, help me, okay? 355 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,299 I'm trying, but... 356 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,424 You need to... Kelly. 357 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,636 Yb.onm gameon 358 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:42,061 I don't know what I was thinking, it was awful. Awful. 359 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,646 Jessica, did you just fart? 360 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,151 And that is how it's done. 361 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,404 I would like another alcohol. 362 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,740 Let's you and I take a walk. Oscar, you're in charge of the bar. 363 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,368 What? I haven't bartended in forever. 364 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,454 Never considered myself a mixologist. 365 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,875 Oh, this is daunting. Um, I need a mortar, pestle, muddler. 366 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,794 Does anyone have any chocolate shavings? 367 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,922 Your heart is broken. 368 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,841 And? 80's mine. 369 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,759 And what? 370 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,053 And do you have any advice or anything... 371 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,514 Oh, my god. To help me feel better? 372 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,182 I've been married thrice, and each 373 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,602 has ended in an acrimonious divorce. 374 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,146 I'm not sure I'm the best person to give love advice. 375 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,025 I was hoping you were going to make me feel better. 376 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,904 When you do your makeup, how long does it take usually? 'Cause... 377 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,239 It depends. 378 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:38,034 Chad flenderman's kryptonite... 379 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,201 Woah. 380 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,287 We got a real Clarence Thomas here. 381 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,854 I'll see you at home. Okay. Okay, great. 382 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,213 Perfect. Bye. 383 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,984 I still don't get why you can't 384 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,368 just call her a cab and pay for it. 385 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:59,013 I would, it just... That wasn't the holiday wish. 386 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:03,309 Either he drives or I drive, and now I'm drunk and mad. 387 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,395 Okay, bye. Okay, bye. 388 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,482 All right, come on, Meredith. 389 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,026 Bye. Thank you, Santa. 390 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,527 You bet. 391 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,738 Thank god Erin's getting a ride home with Robert, 392 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,406 'cause she is trashed. 393 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,051 And who better to drive her home than Robert? 394 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,036 I mean, what a stand up guy, you know. 395 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,122 I mean, he's going through a lot. Separating from his wife, 396 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,918 showing up at the Christmas party in a track suit and a blazer. 397 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,024 Let's go, let's go. Meredith: I'm coming, I'm coming. 398 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,716 I'm coming, I'm coming. 399 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,426 Hang on. All right. 400 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,097 Woah! My stuff! What? What is all that? 401 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,390 It's my valuables! 402 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,599 It's junk. 403 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,327 This is my treasures. No, they're my treasures! 404 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,602 You're a hoarder. My god! 405 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,688 No, I'm not! I'm gonna sell it on eBay! 406 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,439 No, no, no, you be careful. 407 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,275 Be careful! Ah! My Santa suit's stuck. 408 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,284 What are we gonna do with all that bonus money, hennefla, huh? 409 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,829 Where are we? This ain't my street. 410 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,333 Oh. This is the posh part of town, huh? 411 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,838 Oh, my god. 412 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,276 Wonder what a studio condo would cost in this neighborhood. 413 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,761 Meredith, shut your drunk hole right now. 414 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,808 Robert: Erin, it was great fun tonight. 415 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:30,271 Take a few aspirin, drink a whole lot of water, sleep in in the morning. 416 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,984 Erin: Thank you. Good night. 417 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,615 What are you smiling for? 418 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,034 You thinking what I'm thinking? 419 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,038 I'm sure I am not. 420 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,332 Let's get you home. 421 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,421 Take it easy! 422 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,262 Oh, man! 423 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,098 Fell asleep. Took a nap. 424 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,351 Hey, guys. I feel refreshed now. 425 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,145 How's it going? Dwight. 426 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:15,524 Took a little nap right next to Jim's desk. I feel so good right now. 427 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,151 Mmm. Cookies. 428 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,236 What's everyone staring at? 429 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,115 Oh, man! I was supposed to tell Dwight something. 430 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,494 Come on, Jim. 431 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,955 I got nothing.